@colors
9 Years
How important are looks?
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At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
I'm not currently tied down in any relationship, so I keep my options wide open.
I no longer put all my eggs in a single basket anymore.
click to expand
I would like to be like this, not get too emotionally attached to one person without a commitment.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
click to expand
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
I have a pecking order, unless I'm involved in a ltr ship. Hot is the standard unless her wealth of knowledge can keep me focused.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
click to expand
options
especially when they know they are punching above their weight. Gotta have a fall back in the wings waiting to sooth and boost that ego.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
click to expand
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
I have a pecking order, unless I'm involved in a ltr ship. Hot is the standard unless her wealth of knowledge can keep me focused.
What if one of them thinks she is the only one you are interested in? I guess your or any man's answer is I don't care 🙂, but it is hurts the girl who you leave behind.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
options
especially when they know they are punching above their weight. Gotta have a fall back in the wings waiting to sooth and boost that ego.
click to expand
And it is terrible when this happens in front of your eyes. I guess you step back when you realize what is happening, but it makes you mad this person thought he could have his cake and eat it too.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
options
especially when they know they are punching above their weight. Gotta have a fall back in the wings waiting to sooth and boost that ego.
And it is terrible when this happens in front of your eyes. I guess you step back when you realize what is happening, but it makes you mad this person thought he could have his cake and eat it too.
click to expand
Women do this as well. Women are pretty brilliant about it too. They have that 'male friend' who they soak up attention from when their relationship fails them.
Don't be mad. If there isn't a convo about exclusively seeing each other then there is no reason to feel slighted. Wouldn't you rather someone be with you because they felt you were the right fit? Or would you want someone to settle for you right away but secretly wonder what if, then around year 13/14 decide to start multiple affairs both online and with a coworker because they feel they are missing out.
That being said if you feel like someone isn't making you a priority then no need to make them one. Your a free bird. Spread those wings and fly to another tree.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
click to expand
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
Depends on the sex. The hottest girls lose my radar if they aren't creative in le sack.
That applies to a fairish % of this silly argument lol. 😋
all i know is that if you base people's looks on their zodiac signs
you're not always gonna get what you ordered
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
click to expand
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Is Ands classic zinger about dxpers having options still funny or nah?
A cruel joke since we are all here on dxp 😄
all i know is that if you base people's looks on their zodiac signs
you're not always gonna get what you ordered
Which sign is this? 🙂
Depends on the sex. The hottest girls lose my radar if they aren't creative in le sack.
That applies to a fairish % of this silly argument lol. 😋
Do you form an emotional bond with any of them?
all i know is that if you base people's looks on their zodiac signs
you're not always gonna get what you ordered
Which sign is this? 🙂
click to expand
any sign you hype up in the mind
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
click to expand
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
This is the exact reason I will likely end up with a ton of money and alone. Which is fine. I have social media to give me a false sense of ego and companionship. My question is what do they bring to the table? Since most women think if they cook, clean, and don't work they are looked at as a lesser being. I obviously don't need them for that. I can do all those things myself. I also don't need their money. I don't need sex either, and actually rather pleasure myself in most cases. Women with a deep sex drive that need physical sex are more work and long-term problems then its worth imo. So I would need a woman who is willing to help me tend a house, not look at that as being a weaker person, not need a ton of sex, and not get jealous I rather pleasure myself most of the time. Which I have to do daily to cope with my own sexual urges. Now if she wanted to do all the sexual work when I'm not feeling it that is another story, but she would be putting in more work then me and I don't expect or that from anyone. I can do it myself just fine.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
click to expand
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
This is the exact reason I will likely end up with a ton of money and alone. Which is fine. I have social media to give me a false sense of ego and companionship. My question is what do they bring to the table? Since most women think if they cook, clean, and don't work they are looked at as a lesser being. I obviously don't need them for that. I can do all those things myself. I also don't need their money. I don't need sex either, and actually rather pleasure myself in most cases. Women with a deep sex drive that need physical sex are more work and long-term problems then its worth imo. So I would need a woman who is willing to help me tend a house, not look at that as being a weaker person, not need a ton of sex, and not get jealous I rather pleasure myself most of the time. Which I have to do daily to cope with my own sexual urges. Now if she wanted to do all the sexual work when I'm not feeling it that is another story, but she would be putting in more work then me and I don't expect or that from anyone. I can do it myself just fine.
But what is it that you are looking for in a woman?
Would they admit it?, ugh 🙄😒😤 lol
No lol
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
click to expand
You obviously enjoyed the experience. Don't be so hard on yourself for that.
The fact that nothing came of it well...happens. You were seeing each other or actually dating and that is what happens when it doesn't work out. It is part of the process. Once again it wasn't him particularly you were attached to rather the attention and the relationship experience itself, yes?
Besides would you rather him stick around if he isn't serious about you? You owe him thanks for not taking up more of your time.
As you get older and more experience with people in general, you will be able to better zero in on those prospects worth investing in long term. Learn from this experience and enjoy any good memories you made. Don't be do hard on yourself😁
This is the exact reason I will likely end up with a ton of money and alone. Which is fine. I have social media to give me a false sense of ego and companionship. My question is what do they bring to the table? Since most women think if they cook, clean, and don't work they are looked at as a lesser being. I obviously don't need them for that. I can do all those things myself. I also don't need their money. I don't need sex either, and actually rather pleasure myself in most cases. Women with a deep sex drive that need physical sex are more work and long-term problems then its worth imo. So I would need a woman who is willing to help me tend a house, not look at that as being a weaker person, not need a ton of sex, and not get jealous I rather pleasure myself most of the time. Which I have to do daily to cope with my own sexual urges. Now if she wanted to do all the sexual work when I'm not feeling it that is another story, but she would be putting in more work then me and I don't expect or that from anyone. I can do it myself just fine.
But what is it that you are looking for in a woman?
click to expand
Just someone I can sync with. It doesn't even have to be as deep as that sounds. Like someone who likes the same type of things I do on a basic level, and neither of our energies wants to start arguments or fight. I'm actually quite a passive down to earth person. I end up with problems when people want to pry or push buttons. Then I turn into a fighter.
It's important im both genre's, but what i notice loads of women say look's don't matter.
People who say looks don't matter that much are either unavare or simply lie. What's the most common thing women make fun of either on man or a woman 2 insult a person or somth like that? It's looks ... Because they know women really care about these things, they always try to look good and hiting that spot always hurts women, so women who say looks don't matter are either lying or lack self reflection. They do care about looks , but it's not only that, and same can be said with men. There will always be more hot guy or more hot girl, but if your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever is already hot , you already invested in them, you have bond, i don't think smart people would jump on that person just because they have better looks, unless they are unhappy in relationship already.
Also looks why older women get mad when guys their age go for younger girls, they get mad, because younger girl's have looks, and they have to think of a reason why she's better than that yougling and starts saying i'm more mature, smart etc. Well that might be the case, the men aren't looking for more mature, or smarter women, they are looking for feminine beutiful women who can give kids. Younger women have better chance of giving birth, they are more feminine and supportive of a man and appreciative because unlike most mature women, they don't have the attitude we are equal and i'm better than this or than that, i'm smarter i'm better etc. She brings feminine energy while a man brings masculine energy. These days women want to be so equal they don't realise they become more masculine and that's not what men want, not in a long term anyways. So called equality gives freedom for women, easy sex for men and less chance of a stable and long term manogamous relationship or marriage. Look at the statistics, says it all.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
You obviously enjoyed the experience. Don't be so hard on yourself for that.
The fact that nothing came of it well...happens. You were seeing each other or actually dating and that is what happens when it doesn't work out. It is part of the process. Once again it wasn't him particularly you were attached to rather the attention and the relationship experience itself, yes?
Besides would you rather him stick around if he isn't serious about you? You owe him thanks for not taking up more of your time.
As you get older and more experience with people in general, you will be able to better zero in on those prospects worth investing in long term. Learn from this experience and enjoy any good memories you made. Don't be do hard on yourself😁
click to expand
I just didn't like the way in which he tried to put a stop, by suddenly ignoring, avoiding. And the worst, pursuing someone where we are all acquainted. That is the worst, I think it was always her, I was supposed to be in the background for his ego boost. That was brutal to watch. Hurt my ego.
to men? Would you drop someone you like when someone good looking comes into the picture? Maybe you are not with anyone but would you shift focus to someone else because they are good looking? Are men vain?
It's true and quite obvious - that Men and Women are not equal, generally speaking. Yet, there are specific situations - where they're quite similar (if not the same) - like this one. There are both men and women who do/did that (cheating her SO with the mailman, pool guy, plumber, work colleague, Gym instructor, her cousin...😏 prior to ditching SO for the one in question). And then there are those who don't.
Looks are a subjective field. Men will always want someone physically attractive to them. As literally everyone does regardless of gender. And that isn’t necessarily shallow. You want to view your partner in that way, correct?
There is little you can do to control attraction. It is or it is isn’t.
I am talking about a guy who is interested in you and is pursuing you and then drops you when someone new and good looking comes along. So he has attraction with both and jumps to the new and more popular one.
Looks are a subjective field. Men will always want someone physically attractive to them. As literally everyone does regardless of gender. And that isn’t necessarily shallow. You want to view your partner in that way, correct?
There is little you can do to control attraction. It is or it is isn’t.
I am talking about a guy who is interested in you and is pursuing you and then drops you when someone new and good looking comes along. So he has attraction with both and jumps to the new and more popular one.
It might suck but does he owe you anything if you aren’t in a relationship?
If anything it shows you he’s a person that isn’t right for you.
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No, he does not owe anything, but it just makes you mad 😄
Use to matter a lot more. I would be lying if it didn't still matter but definitely subjective. I'll take it you haven't experienced a lot of rejection before.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
You obviously enjoyed the experience. Don't be so hard on yourself for that.
The fact that nothing came of it well...happens. You were seeing each other or actually dating and that is what happens when it doesn't work out. It is part of the process. Once again it wasn't him particularly you were attached to rather the attention and the relationship experience itself, yes?
Besides would you rather him stick around if he isn't serious about you? You owe him thanks for not taking up more of your time.
As you get older and more experience with people in general, you will be able to better zero in on those prospects worth investing in long term. Learn from this experience and enjoy any good memories you made. Don't be do hard on yourself😁
I just didn't like the way in which he tried to put a stop, by suddenly ignoring, avoiding. And the worst, pursuing someone where we are all acquainted. That is the worst, I think it was always her, I was supposed to be in the background for his ego boost. That was brutal to watch. Hurt my ego.
click to expand
If you were actually dating/seeing each other (not just talking) and he just ghosted you, that says more about him then you. Total teen/early20s immature move. I totally get the whole hit to the ego thing though.
What did you actually lose here(actual downsides) vs. gained or learned from this experience?
Use to matter a lot more. I would be lying if it didn't still matter but definitely subjective. I'll take it you haven't experienced a lot of rejection before.
There are quite a lot of easy men out there. All you gotta do is look at them and smile and it’s done
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If it were that easy for me lol. I'll will say though the personality really helps to solidify how attractive someone can really be.
Use to matter a lot more. I would be lying if it didn't still matter but definitely subjective. I'll take it you haven't experienced a lot of rejection before.
There are quite a lot of easy men out there. All you gotta do is look at them and smile and it’s done
If it were that easy for me lol. I'll will say though the personality really helps to solidify how attractive someone can really be.
Have you tried it? Youll be surprised lol
That leaves me to wonder is it the personality that makes them attractive or the attractiveness that makes someone like their personality? The world may never know 🤔
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Bit of both? Have you ever looked at an ex and ponder "what was I thinking" lol
Use to matter a lot more. I would be lying if it didn't still matter but definitely subjective. I'll take it you haven't experienced a lot of rejection before.
There are quite a lot of easy men out there. All you gotta do is look at them and smile and it’s done
click to expand
The problem here is they will respond to anyone that does this 😄
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
You obviously enjoyed the experience. Don't be so hard on yourself for that.
The fact that nothing came of it well...happens. You were seeing each other or actually dating and that is what happens when it doesn't work out. It is part of the process. Once again it wasn't him particularly you were attached to rather the attention and the relationship experience itself, yes?
Besides would you rather him stick around if he isn't serious about you? You owe him thanks for not taking up more of your time.
As you get older and more experience with people in general, you will be able to better zero in on those prospects worth investing in long term. Learn from this experience and enjoy any good memories you made. Don't be do hard on yourself😁
I just didn't like the way in which he tried to put a stop, by suddenly ignoring, avoiding. And the worst, pursuing someone where we are all acquainted. That is the worst, I think it was always her, I was supposed to be in the background for his ego boost. That was brutal to watch. Hurt my ego.
If you were actually dating/seeing each other (not just talking) and he just ghosted you, that says more about him then you. Total teen/early20s immature move. I totally get the whole hit to the ego thing though.
What did you actually lose here(actual downsides) vs. gained or learned from this experience?
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Lost time being sad, angry, and now neutral. Took a while just to come out of that experience. Yes, there was nothing official but the impact was more because of hurt ego. I was more angry than anything. In terms of gain, I think I will try not to show interest that easily, will try to keep a distance even when interested. Saw so many relationship advice videos, all the men coaches tell women to act cold, not show too much interest, not initiate contact etc. etc. 🙂
Posted by MadTwins80Also I wouldn't assume you know what a man is thinking with regards to other women. Just because you see him being playful or even affectionate with another woman don't assume he likes her or sees her in that way. Sometimes the women we like the most are the ones we pay the least attention to. So when you see a guy "flirting" with another woman don't necessarily assume it's because he is trying to hook up with her. Don't be jealous or angry and you'll probably have better experiences imo , I know it's easier said than done.
This is interesting. Most women need assurance and a sense of security, so seeing a guy flirt with another woman brings out that insecurity and jealousy. Men on the other hand seem to take another guy in the picture as a challenge and chase more. I had a very strong jealous reaction recently for a simple wish a guy gave another girl and I could not figure why I felt so strongly. If it was another guy I know I would not have cared. Even now thinking about my reaction makes me uncomfortable. I have not acted on that feeling so he will never know so that makes it better 😄 I agree though when there is no jealousy the guy may wander but comes back, or maybe you don't even notice that he had left. It's when you start getting interested you notice everything and somehow that complicates things. I wish people could stay detached even when interested in someone.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
You obviously enjoyed the experience. Don't be so hard on yourself for that.
The fact that nothing came of it well...happens. You were seeing each other or actually dating and that is what happens when it doesn't work out. It is part of the process. Once again it wasn't him particularly you were attached to rather the attention and the relationship experience itself, yes?
Besides would you rather him stick around if he isn't serious about you? You owe him thanks for not taking up more of your time.
As you get older and more experience with people in general, you will be able to better zero in on those prospects worth investing in long term. Learn from this experience and enjoy any good memories you made. Don't be do hard on yourself😁
I just didn't like the way in which he tried to put a stop, by suddenly ignoring, avoiding. And the worst, pursuing someone where we are all acquainted. That is the worst, I think it was always her, I was supposed to be in the background for his ego boost. That was brutal to watch. Hurt my ego.
If you were actually dating/seeing each other (not just talking) and he just ghosted you, that says more about him then you. Total teen/early20s immature move. I totally get the whole hit to the ego thing though.
What did you actually lose here(actual downsides) vs. gained or learned from this experience?
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I fear of this experience repeating with someone else. What makes a guy stay and not lose interest?
to men? Would you drop someone you like when someone good looking comes into the picture? Maybe you are not with anyone but would you shift focus to someone else because they are good looking? Are men vain?
Possibly, but more so if that person felt like a better or fit or more exciting and inspiring.
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What if you know both girls involved from before? And they all know each other. Would you go after the second girl in front of the first girl? I know maybe I am being unreasonable. It's just a question of if you know both girls why would you go after first girl if you were always interested in the second one? Or maybe the second was always the first but he thought the other won't take it seriously.
It's important im both genre's, but what i notice loads of women say look's don't matter.
People who say looks don't matter that much are either unavare or simply lie. What's the most common thing women make fun of either on man or a woman 2 insult a person or somth like that? It's looks ... Because they know women really care about these things, they always try to look good and hiting that spot always hurts women, so women who say looks don't matter are either lying or lack self reflection. They do care about looks , but it's not only that, and same can be said with men. There will always be more hot guy or more hot girl, but if your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever is already hot , you already invested in them, you have bond, i don't think smart people would jump on that person just because they have better looks, unless they are unhappy in relationship already.
Also looks why older women get mad when guys their age go for younger girls, they get mad, because younger girl's have looks, and they have to think of a reason why she's better than that yougling and starts saying i'm more mature, smart etc. Well that might be the case, the men aren't looking for more mature, or smarter women, they are looking for feminine beutiful women who can give kids. Younger women have better chance of giving birth, they are more feminine and supportive of a man and appreciative because unlike most mature women, they don't have the attitude we are equal and i'm better than this or than that, i'm smarter i'm better etc. She brings feminine energy while a man brings masculine energy. These days women want to be so equal they don't realise they become more masculine and that's not what men want, not in a long term anyways. So called equality gives freedom for women, easy sex for men and less chance of a stable and long term manogamous relationship or marriage. Look at the statistics, says it all.
My main question is why would a man lead a woman on when he is already interested in someone else, and then when he gets a positive response he goes back to the woman he was initially interested in.
To me it depends.
I’ve dated good looking guys and I also dated average guys but I can only connect with someone who enjoys a great conversation.
Hot guys are great for fooling around with but it’s not fulfilling....
I need someone I can mentally connect with.....
My Venus is in Aquarius so I guess that explains my perspective when it comes to “love”.
To me it depends.
I’ve dated good looking guys and I also dated average guys but I can only connect with someone who enjoys a great conversation.
Hot guys are great for fooling around with but it’s not fulfilling....
I need someone I can mentally connect with.....
My Venus is in Aquarius so I guess that explains my perspective when it comes to “love”.
I think emotional connection is very important. The attraction grows with that bond is what I believe more in now.
To me it depends.
I’ve dated good looking guys and I also dated average guys but I can only connect with someone who enjoys a great conversation.
Hot guys are great for fooling around with but it’s not fulfilling....
I need someone I can mentally connect with.....
My Venus is in Aquarius so I guess that explains my perspective when it comes to “love”.
I think emotional connection is very important. The attraction grows with that bond is what I believe more in now.
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I agree.
Emotional connection is very important.
It's important im both genre's, but what i notice loads of women say look's don't matter.
People who say looks don't matter that much are either unavare or simply lie. What's the most common thing women make fun of either on man or a woman 2 insult a person or somth like that? It's looks ... Because they know women really care about these things, they always try to look good and hiting that spot always hurts women, so women who say looks don't matter are either lying or lack self reflection. They do care about looks , but it's not only that, and same can be said with men. There will always be more hot guy or more hot girl, but if your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever is already hot , you already invested in them, you have bond, i don't think smart people would jump on that person just because they have better looks, unless they are unhappy in relationship already.
Also looks why older women get mad when guys their age go for younger girls, they get mad, because younger girl's have looks, and they have to think of a reason why she's better than that yougling and starts saying i'm more mature, smart etc. Well that might be the case, the men aren't looking for more mature, or smarter women, they are looking for feminine beutiful women who can give kids. Younger women have better chance of giving birth, they are more feminine and supportive of a man and appreciative because unlike most mature women, they don't have the attitude we are equal and i'm better than this or than that, i'm smarter i'm better etc. She brings feminine energy while a man brings masculine energy. These days women want to be so equal they don't realise they become more masculine and that's not what men want, not in a long term anyways. So called equality gives freedom for women, easy sex for men and less chance of a stable and long term manogamous relationship or marriage. Look at the statistics, says it all.
My main question is why would a man lead a woman on when he is already interested in someone else, and then when he gets a positive response he goes back to the woman he was initially interested in.
click to expand
Well there could be plenty of reasons, but women do this way more often because they don't want to be alone.
If i were to answer your question i need more specific question. What do you mean when you say lead a woman on. What do you mean gets a positibe response he goes back to woman he was initially interested in? These things you say might have a meaning, but they are not specific so it's nearly impossible to give an answer without going what's really going on , actions instead of assumptions about person.
CC is usually mean to me, and it would bother me. After she showed us her cleavage last night, I'm starting to think she's a pretty nice down to earth person.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
and would you use someone to boost your ego? I mean why do men pursue someone when they have their eye on someone else?
Plenty of reasons. Biology(sex), entertainment(even just to kill some time), or they are not 100% locked on to the person they have "eyes" for. Even low self-esteem causing them to shot for less or someone different. Or a mix of all thee above. Take your pick lol
Regardless you are going to get different answers based on the mindset and maturity level of the responder. Your question is just too vague.
So as an example, sometimes a guy will show interest, pursue a bit, and then you see him doing the same or more to someone else. And you feel like a fool that you thought he may be interested in you
Nope. Still a vague hypothetical with many many reasons. You know what I've played every scenario of what you said and in the end it doesn't matter.
Because the most important question is, were you into to him and why?
That's a good question. Yes, I would say I was into him because I thought he was into me. That's what makes me most mad. Like I am fine by myself, so why does a guy come show interest and then when you show interest back go to someone else? Just let me be if you are not serious.
Should be happy he moved on if it was just a fleeting fancy and you were not truly interested in him. You have lost nothing. Doesn't sound like either of you were serious about this.
Did this situation awaken some kind of desire for companionship you were setting aside?
Another of saying that is, are you mad at yourself for giving a shit about this, letting it effect you?
Yes, I am mad at myself for showing interest
You obviously enjoyed the experience. Don't be so hard on yourself for that.
The fact that nothing came of it well...happens. You were seeing each other or actually dating and that is what happens when it doesn't work out. It is part of the process. Once again it wasn't him particularly you were attached to rather the attention and the relationship experience itself, yes?
Besides would you rather him stick around if he isn't serious about you? You owe him thanks for not taking up more of your time.
As you get older and more experience with people in general, you will be able to better zero in on those prospects worth investing in long term. Learn from this experience and enjoy any good memories you made. Don't be do hard on yourself😁
I just didn't like the way in which he tried to put a stop, by suddenly ignoring, avoiding. And the worst, pursuing someone where we are all acquainted. That is the worst, I think it was always her, I was supposed to be in the background for his ego boost. That was brutal to watch. Hurt my ego.
If you were actually dating/seeing each other (not just talking) and he just ghosted you, that says more about him then you. Total teen/early20s immature move. I totally get the whole hit to the ego thing though.
What did you actually lose here(actual downsides) vs. gained or learned from this experience?
I fear of this experience repeating with someone else. What makes a guy stay and not lose interest?
click to expand
"makes"?That is a big red flag right there😔
AS INDIVIDUALS, People are either in to each other or they are not. They may lose interest in the course of dating, as they get to know each other.
AS INDIVIDUALS, When difficulties and challenges come up in the relationship and life, you both feel strongly enough and choose to work it out...or they or you don't.
The only thing you can "make" do something is yourself. That you have control over. You can display interest and see what happens🙃
Rejection isn't the end of the world or even a bad thing. Being with someone who has no real interest in you is a waste of time and not fun at all. He did you a favor. Your own interest was shallow as well btw😏
Focus on developing yourself and actually liking who you are as a person. Throw in relating and understanding others(personal relationships) so you can easily get your foot in the door where you want to. Then you will be golden.
It's important im both genre's, but what i notice loads of women say look's don't matter.
People who say looks don't matter that much are either unavare or simply lie. What's the most common thing women make fun of either on man or a woman 2 insult a person or somth like that? It's looks ... Because they know women really care about these things, they always try to look good and hiting that spot always hurts women, so women who say looks don't matter are either lying or lack self reflection. They do care about looks , but it's not only that, and same can be said with men. There will always be more hot guy or more hot girl, but if your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever is already hot , you already invested in them, you have bond, i don't think smart people would jump on that person just because they have better looks, unless they are unhappy in relationship already.
Also looks why older women get mad when guys their age go for younger girls, they get mad, because younger girl's have looks, and they have to think of a reason why she's better than that yougling and starts saying i'm more mature, smart etc. Well that might be the case, the men aren't looking for more mature, or smarter women, they are looking for feminine beutiful women who can give kids. Younger women have better chance of giving birth, they are more feminine and supportive of a man and appreciative because unlike most mature women, they don't have the attitude we are equal and i'm better than this or than that, i'm smarter i'm better etc. She brings feminine energy while a man brings masculine energy. These days women want to be so equal they don't realise they become more masculine and that's not what men want, not in a long term anyways. So called equality gives freedom for women, easy sex for men and less chance of a stable and long term manogamous relationship or marriage. Look at the statistics, says it all.
My main question is why would a man lead a woman on when he is already interested in someone else, and then when he gets a positive response he goes back to the woman he was initially interested in.
click to expand
They've been doing this since the beginning of time. Men need sex, companionship and ego boosts so they will see other women to get those things while still keeping their eyes on the prize. Men can hang out with, have sex with women without getting attached. Most women can't and that is why we don't understand their motives.
The good news OP is there are millions of men in this world so no need to stress over losing just one.
I'm curious - what sun sign are you, him and the other girl? That might tell us something other than she's good looking.
At 41, a good conversationalist is just as important as a nice ass.
Many options but very few challenge my mind.
Got both
Physical attraction is important
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to men? Would you drop someone you like when someone good looking comes into the picture? Maybe you are not with anyone but would you shift focus to someone else because they are good looking? Are men vain?