My mother (Aries, Pisces rising) got lung cancer in August 2018. What to say, the whole family saw a whole spectrum of pain, like every day was a different colored pain. Hurted too much, especially for me, knowing what will happen because I didn't had any hope. To watch her and hear her how she hopes to get well but knowing the situation, hurted like hell. All the phases including seizures (horrible view), not be able to talk, just holding an icon in her hand , not be able to move, and on 31th of May, we lost her. I lost not only mother, but a sister too, and my best friend. The family which had hope then started to cry, I felt like I cried my heart out, which I did for whole 10 months. My brother, a Cancer, cries and hurts, and i am in pain mostly because of him, he still is 22, too young to be without a mother. I envy him because he is normal human being who can grieve, not like me. I feel guilt anytime when I think of something else but her. I am a Virgo, libra rising, Leo moon. It sure is beautiful to be any of other signs, especially Cancer, ooh, what a teddy bears they are. Not to talk about Mom, such a strong but at a same time gentle energy. I will forever miss her. I feel awful. Today I was at the cemetary, one woman got me critized for not going too often, every day, for still not having a picture put on her cross, (and you are a female! she said) and then asked me why I didn't have any kids and to do it like, now, because there is no time. I got nervous, but hurt too. I am not able to communicate w/ my feeling on a level I would want to. Any advice?
Sorry to hear what you’ve been through... Well first of all you need to stop giving undue credence to societal dues (gender bias and religious kowtowing) and what ‘they’ think you’re grieving process is meant to look like. Tell the old dingbat to give up or shut up next time she wants to put her two cents in about you visiting the grave site. If you need guidance I suggest you put aside the advice from neighbours and colleagues or anybody inclined to judge you and seek therapy in a professional form. If that doesn’t suit you try meditation and just allow yourself to unfold the sadness in its own time. There is no right or wrong way to experience life- and death is a big part of that package and is personal to all of us. You will be just fine sweets, don’t rush the healing and that includes facing the anger, denial and all Good luck x
Don't let anyone tell you how or when to grieve or make you feel guilty.....it's all personal and everybody grieves differently. Just because someone else may grieve on the outside doesn't negate how you feel internally and anyone who makes you feel bad for that are markers.
Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
This made me 😢. So sorry to hear of your loss, it's so heartbreaking...
I lost nine members of my family, dad and sis within six weeks of each other to cancer and I never thought I'd recover. Just find good people to talk to....i joined a bereavement group with likeminded others and that helped. I also cried, wailed and screamed a lot when alone which helped
What came out of it for me, is the spirit never dies and they're all still there for me...especially my dad
Be gentle with yourself and allow the grieving process to happen, no matter how long that takes
Oh dear. I saw this yesterday on the main page and wanted to come back to read it. Yesterday marked 10 years that my mom has been gone. She passed away July 4th of 2009.
People grieve differently. My sisters and I went to the beach the day after our mom’s death. A lot of people didn’t understand, they probably judged us but honestly I blocked them out. Our mom loved the water. Our mom had a bubbly spirit and I know she didn’t want us to stay in the house crying and depressed. She would want us to celebrate her life, and we did. I spent time with my sisters and we consoled each other. I have to believe my mom wanted that.. to see her 3 daughters clinging to each other and reminiscing on happier memories. Your heart and how you heal it is your business and no one else’s. I will never understand the people like the woman who passed judgement on you for not coming to the cemetery often enough. Your mom is not there. Her shell might be there, but your mom is not. She is all around you, all the time. You don’t have to go to the cemetery to meet her. She will come to you in your dreams and memories. Guess how many times I’ve been to the cemetery since my mom passed 10 years ago? Maybe 3 times. But I still get whiffs of my mom’s cigarette smoke..I can still hear her soft voice in my head, 10 years later. I still have dreams and flashbacks and memories.. that’s where I see her. Be comfortable in the way that you grieve. Know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Also know that your mom probably wants you to enjoy things and enjoy life, she is enjoying it all with you, from a distance. She may be the person sending thoughts your way, that have absolutely nothing to do with her. She wants you to be happy, not sad all the time.
Trust the process, trust your own healing and be kind to yourself. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Remind yourself of that everyday if you have to.