Cancer man...dating...erm dealing with Virgo woman (Page 2)

Yeah for me everything is (PUN ALERT) testing the water. Intimacy, interests, relationships I like to poke and prod and find out what they like and back off when it turns out to be something they don't. It's a fun game for me, like guess their passions.

Posted by aujra
Yeah for me everything is (PUN ALERT) testing the water. Intimacy, interests, relationships I like to poke and prod and find out what they like and back off when it turns out to be something they don't. It's a fun game for me, like guess their passions.

So let me get this straight - it's like all a game? So is it not real if it's a game? That's just your MO? Testing the waters and all...for reassurance? I heard that Cancer men sometimes just toy with women for ego strokes and all. Sigh. The push/pull thing is crazy. We Virgos do it too so I see how Virgos and Cancers can really confuse one another (which they usually do). Crazy ass Cancer men.

Not a game like hehe this is fun look how much cool I am. It's like a game IE, I have fun learning about a new person what they enjoy and don't. No I don't treat it as something that isn't important I just enjoy learning, the best way to make someone happy is to know what makes them happy.

Posted by aujra
Boredom: that isn't the perfect term, a fear of change is more like it. When we get in with someone for along time we kinda freak out that maybe there is a new commitment and we might have to give up more of ourselves and we hate having to let people in, we don't share our shell too well. What made me leave was we were pretty happy but things felt routine and I felt too much of a reliance on her to make myself feel right and on her side too. So I did what I do best I turned tail and ran and closed myself up, didn't talk to friends ignored my family. Basically we get too comfy with someone and then we freak out and get out.

For if we are into you or not that is tricky. When we are into you then you will know, we will be stupidly romantic, show all those grand gestures to let you know that you are appreciated and that we are lucky to even have you in our lives. What is tricky is when we are figuring it out. We want to be loved and to love someone so badly that even when we aren't quite there we will try to act like it cause we want it so badly. We will made this big to-do about how amazing and sweet and wonderful you are and say how crazy we are about you, we will be in dream land. Then reality will set in about what we did, we will panic and say "Oh man we just let this girl in way too much way to soon, I want this later but not yet" and then we recede. It's the whole push/pull thing laid out for you, we got nuts freak out and back off and we will go back and forth until we decide if the feeling of those big lovey gestures feel right or wrong and if we want them to actually be a part of our lives.

There you go, you just got some insight to the pull/push Cancer deal that drives people crazy figuring it out. 🙂

The cancer did tell me once that sometimes he didn't go on dates because while he wanted to date one girl, he'd worry that he'd be missing an opportunity to date another girl. I can tell he is a guy that wants love very much and is willing to look for it again, but he seems to be stuck.

Cancers are such strange creatures. I adore them to no end, but it is hard to be with them sometimes; knowing that we could really work but there is so much going on before we can really get them to settle into the idea of being with someone who could love them just the way they want to.

Cancers love the idea of the perfect female, the perfect lover, we are creatures of extremes. It's why we fall in love so hard and why we take rejection so hard, no gray area. Problem is a lot of the time a cancer is still figuring out what he wants, emotionally we jump up and down so much that we have issues seeing what we really want. When I was younger I love going for insanely affection girls immediately, sleeping together on the 1st or 2nd date, talking about being in love after 1-2 months only to get bored with them and nervous about the actually possibility of commitment coming and I would get rid of them fast. When a cancer finally figures out what makes them happy they will hunt it down but they will always doubt that a person will be able to make them totally happy even though they want that so badly. Personally I am confused and hurt a bit by the lack of affection I am receiving from the Virgo I am dating, but at the same time I know she is trying to build an emotional and intellectual foundation to build something that will last which is respect and so desire, it's kind of the whole worth the wait thing.

You are just gonna have to find the right cancer at the right time, when they are sure of what they want and they have hit that zen like focus of hunting it down.

Posted by aujra
Not a game like hehe this is fun look how much cool I am. It's like a game IE, I have fun learning about a new person what they enjoy and don't. No I don't treat it as something that isn't important I just enjoy learning, the best way to make someone happy is to know what makes them happy.

I see. I just had to ask because it's like you never know with you guys. I know all Cancer men don't operate the same but, obviously all Cancer men are Cancer men for some reason...or reasons. ;o) Thanks for the info.

That's 100% a-ok vixxxen I'm never direct about anything since I'm too nervous about the answer.

Posted by aujra
That's 100% a-ok vixxxen I'm never direct about anything since I'm too nervous about the answer.

Ok, but you said with your Virgal you are operating more directly...no? Why? Please, I don't want for you to feel like you are on trial here or anything. LOL. Just trying to understand what would motivate some of you Cancer men to be more direct? Do you find her harder to read than other women? I'm going to post something for you in a few that may better help you understand the dynamic that usually takes place in the pre-courtship phase between Cancers and Virgos.

Oh she is insanely hard to read, I can only even get a vague idea when I am actually with her in person. As far as being more direct, I have a feeling that being vague would piss her off, and I was right. She told me last night that sometimes I say things that are confusing to her and it makes her frustrated. So yeah I am trying to be direct, but not blunt, I was a bit blunt last night and told her that I am interested in her explicitly when she asked if I am dating other women. Oh man did I get indirect there, told her that if I was to see another woman I wouldn't just forget the intellectual connection and the things about her that attracted me I would just give each person equal amount of time and not favor or forget about either of them and have a skewed field. Then she made mention of how cancers are the zodiac players and I opened up a bit, let her into how I was when I was a little mature crap but let her know that I understand what I need and want and that will make me stay steadfast if she is something that I really want. Welp, opening up is bad cause I already feel myself starting to shell up (I'm a very aware crab and I know my patterns and when they are coming). She text me this morning and all I thought was "fucking really", so I am going to try to keep things nice and smooth and not freak out and shut her out. I can kinda trust her with opening up but it still is honestly something that scares the crap out of me.

"Then she made mention of how cancers are the zodiac players"

Wow...does she have past experience with Cancer men? I wonder if she read this from an astrology book(s)? Cancer men have been said many times to be the 'players' of the zodiac...interesting that she would mention this to you. What would make her say this?

Yeah, she's definitely guarded and she mentioned the player thing because she wanted to see what your response would be. She's obviously analyzing you and trying to find out exactly where your head is at in terms of commitment and monogamy. I understand your being scared to open up to her but imagine just how scared she is as well. Especially since she is not sure if you will run around on her or not. My advice is to continue to take things slow and build her trust. Patience is key with the Virgo woman (and with the Cancer Man...lol)so if you really want her, you're going to have to prove yourself (and I'm guessing she's gonna have to do the same for you). Hang in there. Once you break down all our walls, you really will find a beautiful jewel.

She brought it up because she was talkin about my horoscope yesterday saying I would deal with a major blow but needed to remember the things I had and or course out of the blue my Scorp ex text me talking about her new bf and how he didn't feel the same as me. So we started making fun of scorps for only being good for firework dating, amazing sex and a quick look how sexy I am ego boost (no offense Scorps I just don't do well with ya). I guess she got worried about my ex even though she doesn't have to be, I'd rather fuck a bear trap than date her again. And of course there was also the mention of it being "ok" for me to date other women but she sounded so scared when she brought it up, as she put it "It is something I've been meaning to ask you but....". My take is she is really interested but still worried that I might run off with someone else and she will never hear from me again. Kinda depressing since I've tried to show her my positive views on commitment and have even told her that I am sick and tired of fireworks and I want someone that I can depend on coming home too. Heh I opened up way too much to her, if you want I'll play guinea pig and keep you updated on my thoughts and feelings as I start to shell up. It'll be therapeutic to me since I never have to see any of you and I'm not worried about what you think, and it'll be some good insight to the whole, why and what are they thinking when they pushing everything away from them process 😛. I'm really fighting it but I know it's already creeping up on me, like I said my 1st thought when she texted me with a simple "Oh I thought today would be nicer but it's already raining cats and dogs", was "Fucking really this early couldn't you have waited until you got out of fucking work", not a good first reaction 😛. So let me know if you are interested in watching the magical process of Cancers backing off and freaking out, might shed some light for all you Virgirls on why you Cancer men are so insane. 😛

Here are some passages from the "Signmates" book by Bernie Ashman that I think apply to you and your situation.

The "Holding Back" game

"The holding back game occurs when the two of you are reluctant to make a clear-cut commitment. You may feel that you have good reasons for not wanting to promise too much. Cancer, the Crab moves slowly to make sure that it is safe to come out of its shell. Virgo's watchful eye makes sure the relationship can fulfill certain pragmatic hopes."

"It isn't easy for Cancer and Virgo to approach each other because each is protective of its feelings. Cancer will conceal them, while Virgo will intellectualize them. A fear of rejection is likely to be at the root of this game."

The "You Love Me, You Love Me Not" game

"A Cancer-Virgo relationship can alternate between clarity and confusion. The Crab wants to test romantic waters carefully to make sure it is not eaten up by a shark. Virgo sticks a toe in the waters to see how much is at stake. You almost need to say to your partner: "I don't bite!"

"Trust issues swim under the surface of this game. Having to prove you love each other can get frustrating, if not utterly exhausting."

Yes, I'm interested. I think some of the other Virgals on this site will be interested to see how all of this unfolds too. You can be like our little science project. LOL. Why did you become so annoyed when she texted you? Was it just your mood or were you annoyed with her for some particular reason? Your ruler is the moon so of course you are going to wax and wane. We Virgos are quite moody ourselves so I understand.

I do agree with you as it seems like she is quite interested. Knowing that you like her romantically, as a Virgo woman she wouldn't even waste her time with you unless she felt the same. It sounds to me like she is just really scared and I think the thing you said about her being scared that you may run off with your Scorpio ex is on the money. Cancer men are known to go back to 'old flames'/carry years-long torches for past loves. If you recoil (which it sounds like you are about to), this will really confuse her and she may then feel the need to pull back herself to protect her feelings even more and then that crazy push/pull cycle that is so infamous in the Cancer/Virgo combo will manifest. Or if can go the other way and one of you may just end up cutting the other off completely.

Stay positive and tenacious. I know it's easier said than done but, if you really would like for this relationship to move forward, you're gonna have to be a snail, so to say. Maybe you can ask her again to try telling you how she feels about you at this point?

First off you = awesome virgovixxxen, we have a nice give-give thing going here both providing insight towards the insanity.

The text...to put it very simply when we recede back into our shells we are alone in there. The reason we cut everybody off is cause its our sanctuary people are very lucky if we let them even peek inside of it. When we are alone in our shell our mind takes over, the reason I was so angry with her text was, all I was thinking about since last night and this morning was, what kind of fights we could have, why she would get disinterested and leave me and why she was even with me at all. I gotta admit I could only think about how if my Socrpio ex looked so excited and happy and would grab onto me, I could be across the room and she would just come over to hold me, you know if I had that connection with her and she was so obviously into me, and even THAT wasn't enough what does that say about my chances with a girl who won't even try to touch my hand or even let me know she is attracted to me at all. When we recede we think of the WORST of the worst and wonder why anybody would even bother loving someone like us. The reason why we carry the old flame around so heavily and for so long is all I could think and all most cancers think is, if I really liked this ex and she seemed so happy why wouldn't she love me and why should anybody else, why bother. When I got the text I was pissed cause my reaction deep down was....why respond what is the point I am expecting to impress her with some stupid witty response, nope she will just think I'm an idiot and unlovable just like my exes.

Once a cancer comes out of his shell and is hurt, they don't want to come out. Not cause they are afraid of being hurt really but they are just expecting it. It's like coming out from under a nice umbrella and getting a horrible sunburn, you expect to get burnt again if you ever leave that umbrella again. Don't freak out, we can be coaxed out of our shells but man it takes time. I told her she was chipping away at my shell a little and I understood that she didn't have any malicious intentions to hurt me but it was going to take a lot of chipping to crack me open.

As far as being interested, she is finding her own ways of showing that she is. She will occasionally drop a line like, "Well I am talking to an amazing guy right now", or small cute things like that (doesn't seem like your style at all). Guess I'm just fending for some affection..

I'm used to having that direct affection, girl jumps on me we fool around we play around and just have fun with each other physically, to be honest crabs need that we don't just crave it we need it to feel whole.

Experiment you say: hell yeah I'm down with that. The more I talk about it the less I will shell up and I REALLY REALLY don't want to shell up at all, kinda just happens. So lets break the crazy crab down as the crazy happens:

Cut her off completely: As much as I know it's not the right thing to do, and I KNOW this, she is a great girl that will be good in the long run, the short run of things is so difficult that sometimes I do want to say fuck it and go. It's a tear between wanting that immediate cuddly satisfaction that I love and knowing that I can have something that will probably be stable with this girl if I stick around and I won't have to get hurt. It's a choice for me of suffering now and just dealing with it, or suffering later when I get my heart broken by another Scorp or get sick and tired of the routine that comes with dating a Cap. Cancer are never sure of what is best as much as we would love to know. We weigh everything like a Virgo, while you weigh it practically like is this a good investment, how will this affect me down the line, Cancer weigh this in the immediate, how is this making ME feel right now, is this really worth the pain, or I am happy now but when is the other foot going to drop. We expect pain which is why we get so attached when things seem good. Hey there is no pain here I'm actually smiling and not worry, I'LL NEVER LEAVE. That is how we think its wired into us.

Finally for a quick view into our typical cut everything off. Right now I just want to not see anybody, not hear anybody and stew in my own horrible thoughts about how everything is going to go wrong. I want to convince myself that things are going to go terribly wrong. If I can do that then things won't seem worth it and I won't have to deal with it, I can just go back to not having to deal with anybody and all those terrible ideas and thoughts won't be pertinent anymore. Normally I am all for this, convince myself it's just not worth and it get the hell out of there, but as much as I know things can go wrong I also have a gut feeling that things can go beautifully right and I don't know if I want to give up that possibility over my own stupid paranoia.

Hope this provided some insight 🙂

you two are hella-interesting

I'm just reading on my breaks, don't mind me, lol

I love it!

Posted by CLCNY30
you two are hella-interesting

I'm just reading on my breaks, don't mind me, lol

I love it!

Come on and jump in girl. A is gonna need the help of as many of us VG's on here. Didn't you hear him say that he is going into his crazy spin—

No--I'm learning a lot more observing 🙂

"First off you = awesome virgovixxxen,"

Why thank you, aujra. You ain't too bad yourself. ;o)

Thanks for helping us Virgo gals understand you Cancer men so much better. I could only imagine how much turmoil that someone who is pretty much a bottomless emotional pit could be in (no offense but from what I understand you Cancers can feel and feel and feel and well, you know the rest) Yet, at the same time, I could only imagine how beautiful it must be as well.

Yeah, you could throw the towel in and perhaps find someone for the right-here-and-now to get your emotional needs met, but, who's to say that you will ever have another chance with her again? Maybe she won't be available down the line. Why don't you try kissing her on the cheek or gently grabbing a hold of her hand the next time you are out together. Cancers and Virgos are usually not the PDA type but, maybe to try and rev up the physical aspect a bit, a peck on the cheek or even a short hug before you say goodbye at the end of the date...yes? I also suggest once again that the next time you speak with her you ask her to please be a little more upfront on how she feels about you/where she thinks this thing is going. I know the waiting process sucks but if you clam up, chances are she will to because Virgos and Cancers have a habit of mirroring one another.

Question: how much longer do you think you can do this? It sounds like you need a fix!...and fast! ;o) How do you plan to sustain yourself during this process? As you stated, your need for hugs, kisses, love and all the other stuff is very strong and I might be wrong but it sounds like you might be ready to get you something on the side (please confirm or deny)? If you do, do you think it would be a good idea to let the Virgo girl know this first? Making her privy to this information can either do one or two things:

Uno - put some fire under her tail and give her the encouragement she needs to be more proactive
Dos - send her running for the hills never to be seen/heard from again (let's hope she doesn't do this...LOL)

Holla back

Posted by CLCNY30
No--I'm learning a lot more observing 🙂

Alrighty but feel free anytime.

I got a Leo friend who's interested in a Cancer (and confused by him as well) lurking and reading.

And that's right, I called your a.ss out, girl. Join the damn forum already.

Posted by CLCNY30
I got a Leo friend who's interested in a Cancer (and confused by him as well) lurking and reading.

And that's right, I called your a.ss out, girl. Join the damn forum already.

I'm about to give up on their tails and find me a fire sign. At least they're bold and direct. No guessing games!

And you come on out here and introduce yourselves to us friend of CLNY!

Posted by CLCNY30
I got a Leo friend who's interested in a Cancer (and confused by him as well) lurking and reading.

And that's right, I called your a.ss out, girl. Join the damn forum already.

It got to THAT point, huh? I feel ashamed for responding and joining this forum JUST to do so. Hahaha!! I feel played.

Hello, I'm nekamarie83 and I'm a cancerholic. 😢

I'd go into detail but I have clients see-- so I'm back and forth. I will post later though. Or clc will fill people in. Either way I'd appreciate insight as to why my cancer so shy. It's been very hard on my end not just pouncing upon him (I heard they don't respond well to that), but I don't want him to think I'm not interested. Nor do I want to deprive him of his space. Bleh??_ I'm just so confused. -_-

I'll read any responses/ questions as I get breaks. Thanks all. 🙂

Posted by Nekamarie83

Posted by CLCNY30
I got a Leo friend who's interested in a Cancer (and confused by him as well) lurking and reading.

And that's right, I called your a.ss out, girl. Join the damn forum already.

It got to THAT point, huh? I feel ashamed for responding and joining this forum JUST to do so. Hahaha!! I feel played.

Hello, I'm nekamarie83 and I'm a cancerholic. 😢

I'd go into detail but I have clients see-- so I'm back and forth. I will post later though. Or clc will fill people in. Either way I'd appreciate insight as to why my cancer so shy. It's been very hard on my end not just pouncing upon him (I heard they don't respond well to that), but I don't want him to think I'm not interested. Nor do I want to deprive him of his space. Bleh??_ I'm just so confused. -_-

I'll read any responses/ questions as I get breaks. Thanks all. 🙂

click to expand

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! Welcome nekamarie83. You're family now.

Posted by Nekamarie83

Posted by CLCNY30
I got a Leo friend who's interested in a Cancer (and confused by him as well) lurking and reading.

And that's right, I called your a.ss out, girl. Join the damn forum already.

It got to THAT point, huh? I feel ashamed for responding and joining this forum JUST to do so. Hahaha!! I feel played.

Hello, I'm nekamarie83 and I'm a cancerholic. 😢

I'd go into detail but I have clients see-- so I'm back and forth. I will post later though. Or clc will fill people in. Either way I'd appreciate insight as to why my cancer so shy. It's been very hard on my end not just pouncing upon him (I heard they don't respond well to that), but I don't want him to think I'm not interested. Nor do I want to deprive him of his space. Bleh??_ I'm just so confused. -_-

I'll read any responses/ questions as I get breaks. Thanks all. 🙂

click to expand

hehehehehehe

I was WONDERING why you got so quiet on IM, LMFAO!!!!!

*continues evil laughter*

and yes...you're not one of us
one of ussss (O_O)

Posted by VirgoVixxxen

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! Welcome nekamarie83. You're family now.

hahaha!! Thank you VirgoVixxxen!! 🙂

Hey sorry about the silence my brother needed help, tried to see if she wanted to do something but you know Virgos (WORK WORK WORK) so during her busy week she didn't have anytime to spare. As much as I am bitching and moaning she has a funny way of reassuring me which freaks me out cause I am starting to slowly trust her. As you know I've been BURNED in the past and I'm just worried it's going to happen again. For getting some on the side, she told me it was fine if I dated other women, I got the feeling that she is kinda looking but I'm holding her interest enough that they are getting blown off 😛. Me, I'm afraid of getting in with her but I'm also afraid of like you said making her run away by "going for something on the side". I get such a strong impression that once you have it in with a Virgo, you are theirs, I'm so used to you get in with someone but only sorta get in and then you get kicked out the second they start thinking iffy (Just like a cancer). I'm a bit of a weird cancer, maybe its the whole what is my moon and venus ect ect but, affection doesn't turn me off, it scares me that I have to open up but I love getting affection so much so that I actually have accepted that I need it every now and then just to keep my mood up. I kinda feel that, if I stick around and don't fuck around I'm in for something very good, the fact that we haven't even kissed yet...yeah it weird and I'm dying for some "fun", every girl that I've dated has slept with me on the 1st date or I could manipulate them into sleeping with me by the 2nd. With her I haven't even tried to coerce anything, I did give a little flirt test and got back a "Aww you so cute"....wtf is that good or bad am I cute like Yeah I could go for you...or cute like ADORABLE PUPPY TO PLAY WITH.

As for the spiral, sorry ladies pulled myself out of it. Ya I'm still kinda depressed and I won't be sharing too much with her for a bit but I'm not shutting her out, no way in hell. I'm gonna keep talking to her every night like she enjoys and I'm keeping this damn ball rolling in the right direction. Gonna ask her about how she feels and if she is worried about my ex, and yeah we always go back blah blah blah....I'd rather fuck a bear trap than get back with my ex, she has nothing to worry about. Maybe I'll train your cancers to snap themselves out of their stupid self-loathing stupor.

Oh and welcome to the thread of my insanity trying to win a Virgo girl Nekamarie83 🙂

Haha, we met through a mutual friend. We have been talking for about a month and been out on two dates each one was around 5-6 hours long. She is very reserved as a Virgo and she is Chinese (traditional) I think that just adds onto her reserved nature (women should be proper ect). So I'm not super worried it is obvious she is interested just not looking to rush into things. Or am I way off? 😛 Don't make a cancer doubt himself damn it lol

Oh and no we are just "dating". She even brought up that it would be cool for me to date other women if I wanted so no we are in no way offical, we are both taking this super slowly and being super cautious.

Posted by aujra

Oh and welcome to the thread of my insanity trying to win a Virgo girl Nekamarie83 🙂

thanks much aujra!! i'm hoping to hang around and get some ideas/answers involving crab guys. 🙂

glad to help, its not so much that we are mysterious or some enigma wrapped in a riddle, we are just confused sometimes 😛

aujra-- i want to believe that. haha!! but idk wtf sometimes... hahahaahha!!

it's really hard for me to not have that 'in your face honesty'. his being coy is alluring and irritating all at once.

and that enigma line made me think of the simpsons. "he's an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a vest"

We talk every night after 9 its become a kind of ritual, already asked her if it was too much and nope she loves it mostly since I run my own company and have a really rich education background we can always find something interesting to talk to without all the mushy awkwardness...except for tonight god damn did I see inside per-say.

What drew me in...I am sick of firework big boom lets jump on each other and then have nothing to fall back on bs relationships. Ya craps have a reputation of getting in quick and getting out faster but I am so sick of that. I want something that will last I want something stable and I want someone to come home to 🙂. I can see that quality in her, she isn't some slut that just jumps on a guy, she is reserved and obviously looking for something serious as well, hell she is testing me to make sure I am the right person for her just as much as I am. What keeps me in is that I know if this works then it works very well with stability, not hey its kinda working eh lets see where this goes. Also her intellegence is a huge turn on, I'm so used to every conversation being, "Awwww ur such a cute sweetie, I've never had a guy treat me like this ur perfect ur my everything", only to have it turn out I've gotten involved with an insecure little girl, not a woman. Also her habits are so much cuter cause they are so subtle and she tries so hard to hear them. I'll go into that in the next post. Essentially she is something else, something refreshing, and something I feel like I can rely on, I want something to stabilize me and not keep me wondering and worrying and fearing, already it just feels like she...soothes me even if I am a bit afraid to let her in, she kinda pokes her way in a little anyways and I'm ok with that. I gotta say that Virgo/Cancer seems like an amazing combo, it's like a wild passion guy meets a practical calming girl....the girl can keep the guy in check keep his feelings from going sour and the wild guy can get her to loosen up a bit and let her hair down. We are good for each other because of the things that separate us 🙂.

PS you damn Virgos b4 you jump in....I know I misspelled intelligence in the last post, I was typing fast 🙂

So got off the phone with her just now and....HAPPY CRAB. You guys have been spot on I am apparently doing an amazing job since well um she went from a librarian to a librarian stripper tonight....hooooly shit. She has this little mischievous laugh she does whenever she is feeling umm...frisky, and it would come out around 8 or 9 times a minute. She was dropping subtle hints left and right about her wild side and how maybe later when we are a bit more secured (IE we have a bit more trust in each other) we should do something "dangerous" for one of our dates soon. She fed me compliment after compliment in between laughs, talked about how she hated blushing so much, she was getting so cute and flustered she couldn't even finish sentences, she would let them kind of trail off and then do this cute little sigh or go "so umm yeah yeah" and hope I didn't notice. Now I have seen girls jump through hoops for me to impress me and plan out cute things to do to try to get my attention. These other girls would be fully aware of what they were doing and it would all be calculated to try to appease what they thought I wanted to see to keep me around. Cute, sexy, flustered little Virgo here wasn't even aware of what she was doing and it was the fucking cutest thing I have ever witnessed and it caught my attention more than I've had it grabbed onto before. I am...shocked...happy...impressed....just fucking blown away, who the hell knew you quiet Virgos had such a sexy flirty little side to you. I've always heard about it but this is my first time experiencing it. It's like having the fun of a Scorpio without having to deal with someone as emotionally uncertain as yourself....fucking cake and eating it too. 🙂

Two bad things though 😛 welcome to the insanity of happy crab, insight is incoming 😉
I did tell her she needed to go easy on the compliments, let this be a lesson to you Virgals working on us crabs. We love the attention but only so much. I loved hearing her compliment me since I have been waiting patiently to even hear one, even thought I was dying for it, wore thin quickly. Think sandwiches....we want a bit of mayo, don't drown the damn thing 😛. Never smoother a cancer too hard. I think she was kinda taken back a bit by me saying that but she seemed to understand and it didn't put a hamper on the rest of our talking, this was thrown

this was thrown in there about half way through so it didn't set up an awkward situation.

2nd bad thing, yeah I had a TON of fun, I feel refreshed about moving forward with this, tons of fears and worries were essentially crushed....but im still a damn crab and I got my shell for a reason. Don't get all annoyed I'm not shelling up but this flirting and all required on both of our sides to really open up to each other and let it all hang out. While cancers are professional flirts, even more than Scorpios since we can read into people and know exactly what to say to who and when, to flirt with a Virgo properly you gotta know what gets them going and I'm learning quickly. Telling them they are hot, they don't give a shit, listen to what they are saying and then have a profound fact about it...yeah you just got them wet. Have an interesting piece of knowledge that they aren't expecting, even wetter 😛. BUT the mother load of all of them, tell them a profound statement about yourself that will show them you are letting them in a little bit and that you trust them...boom they will end up needing a damn cigarette (Btw I'm kinda cocky take me down a notch if I am wrong about this, this crab can take it 🙂 ). So we flirted a TON tonight on both sides and we both opened up a lot doing it. You already have figured out that this is not easy for us to do but it is DRAINING and we gotta have time to recharge. So when we really open up we are going to step back a bit and start poking around again. When we open up we lose a lot of confidence from it and its gotta build up again until we do it.

All in all...what an awesome night, I saw a new side of Virgos that is really drawing me in as much as I hate to admit it. I'll continue to keep you all updated...oh and sorry about not doing the typical Cancer downward spiral, I've just become so aware of when its happening I can usually stop the nose dive 😛

Ya I gotta admit it gets a bit taxing cause I love affection so much and I really am craving it but I'm sure affection is on the way.

aujra,

I am very happy to hear of the progress you and VG have made within the last few days. Congrats! She sounds like such a cutie pie. I do wish you both well and we are here to help you whenever you need but now I have 4 questions for you...


Why are you Cancer men seemingly so damn horny all of the time? Is it all of the rampant emotions?

Why are you so frigging cocky? Is it due to insecurity? (had to knock the one I knew down a couple pegs and boy did he get vengeful on me. LOL I will say that I do enjoy bringing your arrogant tails down a peg...ha ha.)

What's up with the manipulation? I understand the whole indirect thing but why do you guys just not tell women what you want instead of manipulating? Because maybe then you wouldn't get what you want?

What's up with all of the flirting? Do you like everyone you flirt with? I say flirting is a dangerous game especially when you're already involved with someone


Yes, I want to know so don't take too long to get back to me. LOL. Cancers and Virgos working hand in hand yay!!!

Some things you can clear up cause they are major worries of mine and I hate having worries 😛

As much as I am "done" with the whole cute, baby talkish courting I need my emotions tickled every now and then. I don't need some stupid overload of mush but you know, usually when I am getting to enjoy open up and know a woman its well...exciting and fun, and honestly I am not feeling excited and I am not feeling like I am having fun, this feels like a chore a bit like I am at a job interview trying to win over my boss (I guess that is just what courting a Virgo is like....). Will it ever be fun, will she never let it be exiting and exhilarating and just something that will make me feel like I'm bouncing up and down clapping inside. I don't want that all the time but damn it I want some kind of balance, I want it to feel professional and not like I am talking to some immature person who just wants to be smothered with attention but I want a little bit of fun and "awwwwwwwwww's" every now and then and I am beginning to worry that with her, I'm never going to have them. I'm sure you guys know what I mean, you do kind of have dual-sides to you where you like the outward appearance of cool collected calmness but inside where nobody can see you got this I dunno wild side. But I mean I'm a little concerned how often am I going to see it, once in a blue moon or do you guys open up and then really let loose?

Also, I kinda do hope she is a bit of a kink 😛. We are a REALLY passionate sign and I don't think I can deal with just "having sex" or even just "tenderly making love". Wondering if kink is a common theme among you guys (you don't have to go into detail 😛)

Hehe ok question answering time for ya 🙂

1) We are so horny because we desire passion and like I just said before I don't do "having sex" or "making love". It is so much more to me honestly and we feel that sex is a great way of opening up to someone. We are all kinks like it or not, we have our preferences and some of them are kind of embarrassing so being able to ask for them and having a girl say "ok" and then end up enjoying them, that drives us right out of our shell. We need that affection and passion and what is more passionate than holding your partner close to you with you both completely exposed with nothing to hide? It's not that we are horny and just want to get off, we are horny for that deeper connection, to let ourselves out of our shell for even just a little bit and pray that we don't get rejected.

2) Insecure...what cancers? Nah! 😛. Seriously do you even need to really ask. I am cocky personally because even though I am insecure and I am not always sure of myself I know I am a good person with a lot to offer to a girl if they want it. I know I am not perfect and I know nobody is but I am protective, caring, and willing to walk off a cliff if watching me fall to my death would make the person I love happy. Cockiness is a way for us to deal with our insecurities big time but our cockiness isn't always misplaced 🙂.

3) Manipulation isn't the term I would personally use. Cautious is more accurate. I explained to her that we are indirect because we are afraid of what the answer would be. So we put out little probes, indirect question here, little hint here to see how you would react and then we gauge whether or not its safe to move on. The worst fear for us is rejection...we would rather hear an answer to "Hey I saw a special on ____ it was pretty interesting" and get back "Eh I'm not really to into that" than say "Do you like ____" and hear "No" or even "Nope" that just sinks us deeper into our doubts. We aren't trying to manipulate you guys, we are trying to protect ourselves.

4) Flirting goes with testing the waters. We flirt to see if you are into us and how much. If we flirt and you flirt back we get a pretty good idea, and by how you flirt we know how into an idea you are. For with other people, I flirt like crazy only because it appeases my worries. I don't think I am sexy enough for the girl I am with, I'll get someone I think is hot to call me hot and tell me how bad they want me...hey I don't feel

aujra,

Stop your whining! (for all of your softness, and cuddliness, secretly I know you cancer men like it rough and tough...so now I'm here to give it to ya) For god sakes haven't CLNY, Candeh, Pandora's B and myself taught your ass nothing so far?

You've made quite a bit of progress with your VG in the past few days and you're still crying— MAN UP! It's not her fault that your ruler is the moon and every now and then it turns you Cancer men into some pansy asses!

She was flirty, giggly and sweet, and complimenting you to the point where you had to tell her to stop! What more do you want at this point? If you had been in the presence of one another at that moment I'm sure there would have been a whole lot of face sucking going on...no?!

I think that's the problem with you lunar (isn't lunar a derivative of the word lunatic?) men sometimes...you want to much too soon! Patience is not your friend when it comes to YOUR needs. Yes, we VG's can be a bit boring and it might take us a while to open up and get going but if you want to land us and keep us, well got damn it your gonna have to build our trust and stay on course. Steady and slow wins the race! Not fast and hot!

I think if you really can't hold out any longer then you should just get going and find someone else (translation: some fast ass girl) who will give you a one night or a couple 'nights stands and who's willing to meet your needs right away. Ever heard the saying "good things come to those who wait"? Don't think you have!

don't feel so ugly anymore. Did I say something to offend you or you were turned off by something. My first thought is nobody would like that I am so stupid why did I even think that would be sexy or cute. Have someone else to tell me its cute, or hot, or such a turn on....I don't feel so stupid about it anymore. We use flirting with our mates to see if they really like us, cause flirting is a universal tool for venting sexual frustrations and if you are frustrated and open about it we can't wait for you to "take it out" on us, we are on the tips of our toes waiting for you to pounce 😛. Flirting with other people, we aren't the most confident people even when we act cocky, we want that reassurance. And do we like all the people we flirt with, I mean sure they might be hot or caring a kind of aura that we find alluring and sexy. Will we sleep with them, if we are with someone already 1000% no chance in hell we don't cheat...we dump and then move in 😛 but we never cheat, we can't stand a broken heart even when it isn't ours. Are they going to get in emotionally if it's just someone we barely know or just met....haha good luck when we flirt like that our shells are locked up tighter than ever...think of us as a front view of a clam shell where all you can see are the two white eyes looking out from inside shaking....ya that is us flirting with other people no matter how confident and sexy we try to appear to them 😛. So for flirting with other people, we aren't going to cheat and they will be damn lucky if they even find out our REAL favorite color, if we are just flirting that color will change to whatever will make them say what we need to hear, cause we aren't going to get emotionally attached. A lot of crabs will seem like they are getting attached to a person when we are just flirting, we will seem so engaged and so interested...we are attached, to the way it feels to be told we are sexy and wonderful people that could have anybody we want, but we are not attached to the person. Make sense? 😛

Thanks for answering my questions. You have shed more light on the confusing breed that is Cancer. I'm sorry if I'm coming across a bit brash today...it's my mood...it changes...often (mirror mirror! You Cancers aren't the only moody ones...VG's can be quite moody too and I'm sure you'll discover this about yours sometime in the near future).

In your previous post you mentioned that you would 'manipulate' a girl to sleep with you. Explain please (well, only if you really want to. LOL). Manipulation is a word always associated with Cancers.

Ok, I understand the flirting thing now.

A,

Here's something else for you that might help to put things in perspective.

Cancer and Virgo

"This match moves along at a snail's pace. Virgo doesn't take risks, especially when it comes to love. Virgos want to be sure their Cancer partners are really as good as they seem. Time is the biggest tester of authenticity, and Virgo isn't in any hurry to rush into this relationship and create a situation where there is no way out. First things must come first, and understanding mysterious Cancer is the first priority. The first thing Virgos notice is how much Cancer needs their help in getting life organized and prioritized. Once trust is established, the relationship will move steadily forward and can grow into a profound love of deep appreciation for each other."

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
aujra,

Steady and slow wins the race!

Haha that is a quote right out of your book. Don't worry you have taught me tons and as much as I LOVE to bitch and moan about wanting affection I know it is around the corner and I know waiting around is the best thing, I just get antsy 😛. I am not doubting you Virgo gals are amazing, in fact I'm banking on it 😛 otherwise I would have dumped her ass after the 1st date. Lunatic is 100% spot on 😛 we are a bit emotionally crazy since we can be super happy and then whiny as shit later. Thanks for the kick in the ass...man I think you hit hard enough that you un-knotted a muscle, foot massage anyone? Actually the progress has me a bit excited, it's an excitement I am not used to and you know us cancers...we love to resist new things. So I know I bitch about wanting that old school giggly excitement cause I know how to react to it and I know exactly how it works, but this is an excitement I am finding myself to respect. That seems to be a key component, I am not getting all hot and bothered excited like I am so used to but I respect this kind of excitement so much more cause its a build up, not just an explosion and when you build up I know the explosion won't just take out a car...the entire city block is pretty much fucked 😛. So you have to take my whining for exactly what it is, me just being a little nervous...not even afraid just unsure about how to approach it and nervous because of that, and not something that is deterring me. This would have been around page 2 and you would have hear...."Welp thanks for all the advice Virgo girls, I dumped her ass and I've moved onto a Pisces or Scorpio...man are we getting hot and heavy here I'm so school boy retarded excited".

Wanting to much too soon, yeah only when it comes to OUR needs, gotta give you that one. Our needs are affection, feeling special like we are worth someone, and a cuddle every now and then and oh yeah we want it fast but we also want it to last and I am very aware that I can't and never will be able to have both. Fast and fun and all but fuck that, I want a girl who is going to stay around. So all in all, take my whining, laugh at me, but don't think that my bitching is me trying to get out of something I can feel is going to be well worth the effort, time and patience...it's just my way of saying, this is new and kinda scary w

My post got cut off it ends.....scary wtf do I do now?!?

And for manipulating. You know how they say Cancers hold onto everything, lost loves, lost feeling and emotions ect ect. Our shells are bigger than you think. EVERYTHING, every word, little trick you have, worry, fear, habit....it's all in their and it's always being processed. We learn very quickly about everything you love, hate, enjoy, despise...that is why they say...show a Cancer some love and you will get it back 10 fold, it's cause we know all the right things to say from person to person to maximize our statements. We have a library of books on everybody to make them feel in ways that they never have before cause nobody has been able to put it in such a way that it fits exactly what they want to hear, and we have an arsenal of weapons too 😉. If you provoke a cancer to attack (don't for your own sanity and safety) you are pretty much fucked no matter how you look at it. Scorpios get angry and yeah a broken finger or foot up the ass will heal and there are some pretty vengeful signs out there. Caner aren't usually vengeful since we hate to see people hurt but if we feel the need to hurt someone...we will dredge up shit that will keep you up at night. You won't get a single burst or even a scratch, I personally would never hit anybody, but we will put you into therapy by bringing up every single insecurity and then mixing it up with all your fears. We are VERY convincing people. To give you an example of manipulating someone into sleeping with you I'll use our now familiar Scorpio ex 😛.

First date we were making out for hours, she really wanted it but she said that it takes time for her to sleep with someone she won't just sleep with anyone blah blah blah. So I cataloged...I could tell her was very submissive, loved losing control by giving it up to a guy, she liked being surprised and loved orchids. Next date a week later...pinned an orchid to the inside of my front door, opened it, grabbed her shoulders and turned her to see the orchid...snapped my fingers to get her attention like she was a dog then slammed her back against the door and just stared into her eyes...her legs gave out and at that point I could just carry her to my bed. We can manipulate people since we catch onto and catalog all their dirty little secrets and since we are such emotional people we know how to use them to stir up just the right things.

Does that clear it up 😛

First date we were making out for hours, she really wanted it but she said that it takes time for her to sleep with someone she won't just sleep with anyone blah blah blah. So I cataloged...I could tell her was very submissive, loved losing control by giving it up to a guy, she liked being surprised and loved orchids. Next date a week later...pinned an orchid to the inside of my front door, opened it, grabbed her shoulders and turned her to see the orchid...snapped my fingers to get her attention like she was a dog then slammed her back against the door and just stared into her eyes...her legs gave out and at that point I could just carry her to my bed. We can manipulate people since we catch onto and catalog all their dirty little secrets and since we are such emotional people we know how to use them to stir up just the right things.

Does that clear it up

See, that's just dirty. Sorry. LOL. And that's the thing about Cancers that I don't like. You manipulate and manipulate and manipulate until you get what YOU want. I don't like it. It makes me feel dirty and before I play that dirty game with you, I will just walk away. The Cancer guy I knew was playing all of these manipulative games with me until I just cut the shit short. I put his ass on ice and I knew he couldn't handle it because if there's one thing that a Cancer hates, is being ignored and a Virgo can treat you like you were never born. We can be Ice kings and queens and will freeze you out before we let you 'toy' with us. That being said, yes, I understand much better now. Hope I didn't offend but, just gotta keep it real.

I totally understand. All cancers do that but I guess it depends on the intent. If I ever "manipulated" this Virgo I am dating, it wouldn't be what I wanted but to tailor myself to be something that she could really enjoy sexually. Some cancers will have bad intent, I need to get laid and I know how to do it, yeah I agree that isn't just dirty or toying with someone that is being an asshole. Honestly I can't be an asshole cause I know what it feels like to deal with one. I gotta admit I am cataloging all her little quirks and what she likes and what topics are taboo, but it's not to manipulate her into jumping on me, I'm actually afraid to do that cause I know she would see right through that...what I do know is she will also notice that I am trying really hard to be something that can bring her the most pleasure that I could possibly bring her and I dunno if that will be endearing to her or she will take it as me "toying around with her". And yeah it is getting what I WANT but in this case what I want is to be something to make HER happy, so it might just be me being a caner but I don't see the harm in that. To me it is all about intent, if you intent to set things into motion to benefit someone I like that idea, if you are doing it to hurt them their ass deserves what they get.

Yes, intent is what makes all the difference. Thanks for explaining to me.

You nervousness in getting to know her is so cute. You are coming across like a little lost pup! No worries, you'll find your way. Your VG will show you the light. LOL. No seriously, I don't think there's cause for you to be so worrisome anymore. It's working out and the waters are becoming less 'unchartered'.

Ya I agree. I do kinda feel like a lost puppy that just found a new bred to play with. He knows the other breds hes been with love being chased around, and love playing ball with him ect ect, but he's not too sure what makes this dogs tail wag. As far as her showing me the light, I can kinda see that but I know this is going to require a lot of work, thinking, and maybe keep the gut instincts reined in a bit. She does have a nice way of, ugh I need a metaphor. I'm used to being all shelled up after being hurt and having someone like, clap at me like "COME ON OUT ITS OK IT'LL BE FUN I PROMISE", with her...she's just standing there patiently with a smile on her face waiting for me to come out on my own and I fucking hate her for it but it's working 😛. She is really warming up to me, I guess he is noticing that I am wanting to stick around and yeah I'm being careful but I'm not about to run no matter how nerve wracking this all is. And the fact that she is warming up to me is just making me slow wriggle out of my shell a bit more everyday which scares me cause now that I am starting to trust her if she breaks me it's gonna be a blow to remember, I already know I won't forget it and even my closest friends will be lucky if I tell them what I did during the day. Understand this vixxxen, no matter how comfy or trusting a crab gets....we know how easily we get hurt and we will always have a primal fear of it, it'll never go away. It should never be your goal to teach us or make it so we won't fear pain cause we always will but to consistently show us that you aren't going to hurt us, we may flinch from time to time but you will have us forever. I'm dipping my claw in the water more and more and I'm really liking the waters temperature.

Oh question cause this does irk me 😛. You virgos seem like you don't waste words, every sentence holds some value and every word is carefully and meticulously placed for effect and meaning (Fair assessment?) Cute and sweet have always been empty words to me. Oh you are SO CUTE and you are SO SWEET. Honestly if any what weight do those words hold to you Virgos since no word is really wasted. Is it just "eh you made me smile" or is it actually something endearing to you all?