Cont. thread for seadream's question for Virgals (Page 6)

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He is normally a very shy and enclosed person. He's told me himself once and I've hears it from his sister a couple of times.

I've known him for 8 years and closely for 1 year. When we first spent time together last summer, he was not like this. Since Christmas he seems to get gradually worse. When he was back last time (3 months ago), he was so incredibly shy and tongue tied when we sat together in the bar that night, and only started talking when he'd had a lot to drink. So even when he's drunk (but not on anything else) he's been very shy around me. The strange thing is he seem to be able to talk much more easily with other women. Do I really make him so uncomfortable? But if I do make him feel like that, I don't understand why he would spend 6-7 hours sitting next to me.

This time around he's kept his distance until Friday, when he announced he was at this bar in town where we've been together a few times in the past. As the evening progressed, I could tell that he had consumed more than alcohol. He really does change and becomes much more tough and confident. Again, we spent hours together with a few other until early morning. Again, he did not go home when the other woman went, but stayed there with me and came home with me. As I said, nothing happened between us, I just let him sleep. I don't know how much he remembers of what I did to look after him.

So, on one hand it seems that he wants to spend time with me when we do see each other, but at the other hand it seems to disturb him in some way.

I would be there as a friend for him and help him the best I can if he would let me. It's a tricky situation because I care so deeply about him, but I'm not sure if he wants me too close.

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I know that Virgo men don't like to talk about emotions at the best of times, so my suggestion to have a "talk" when he's badly hung over and has a big black eye was probably not the right timing! I'm surprised he wasn't more blunt and said that there's nothing to talk about or something like that, but perhaps he just didn't want to be too rude?

Anyway, I will think carefully about sending him an email or not. It might not be any point, but I still feel that i should write and be completely honest about the way I feel about him, then say thank you for the really good times we've had together, and then just leave him alone.

If I do this, I have at least been completely honest and it will explain some of the things I've said and done this past year. What do you think?

Hi Sunnycap,

Just few thoughts...

1. Many men who do come back after serving oversees in war tactics or war-related activities do have issues that if not addressed properly can damage them and others around, this is a fact. I heard interviews with relatives of guys who went through that on the radio...so your assessment is correct and thus you should keep that in mind...

2. Unlike other more emotionally-driven signs, Virgos can separate their mind from their emotions and will base most choices based on what makes more sense to them. So be glad that things didn't happen that night, because if he is in this weird stage in his life, sleeping again with you won't fix things. We don't get attached back based on physical reconnection that simply as in the case of other signs...

3. Although we do have certain characteristic that can be used for very good things (i.e. Virgo - mother Teresa) as with any sign, they could also be used in destructive ways...think of Charlie Sheen... So, you are right the potential is there, but have you seen that lately, at all? If not, what do you think that could mean?

Just make sure that as you discover whatever feelings/emotions you might have, you also keep the facts around that are also as valid and real... If you feel like you need to e-mail him, do it, just make sure you are aware of the possible responses or lack of so that you will be prepared either way. All the best!

Posted by MissV123
Hi Sunnycap,

Just few thoughts...

1. Many men who do come back after serving oversees in war tactics or war-related activities do have issues that if not addressed properly can damage them and others around, this is a fact. I heard interviews with relatives of guys who went through that on the radio...so your assessment is correct and thus you should keep that in mind...

Thanks for the quick reply again!
I've read a little bit about this lately, too. I will bear it in mind. It worries me that he seemed a bit worse this time around. Well, at least the last time we saw each other.

2. Unlike other more emotionally-driven signs, Virgos can separate their mind from their emotions and will base most choices based on what makes more sense to them. So be glad that things didn't happen that night, because if he is in this weird stage in his life, sleeping again with you won't fix things. We don't get attached back based on physical reconnection that simply as in the case of other signs...

That's good to hear. You often think that unless you have physical intimacy the connection goes. In a way I'm glad we didn't sleep together this time. Firstly it shows him that I'm not just after sex, secondly it makes me different from the other women and thirdly I would have been back to square one emotionally if we'd slept together. It would have been harder to let go, I think...

3. Although we do have certain characteristic that can be used for very good things (i.e. Virgo - mother Teresa) as with any sign, they could also be used in destructive ways...think of Charlie Sheen... So, you are right the potential is there, but have you seen that lately, at all? If not, what do you think that could mean?

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I'm not sure what you mean about potential? Do you mean his potential or the potential between us?

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Just make sure that as you discover whatever feelings/emotions you might have, you also keep the facts around that are also as valid and real... If you feel like you need to e-mail him, do it, just make sure you are aware of the possible responses or lack of so that you will be prepared either way. All the best!

I will think about this carefully. It might be better to just leave it now rather than sending him an email. He's away for 2-3 months, so I have plenty of time to think it through. He surely knows that I have feelings for him now that I wanted to have a "talk". The only benefit would be for me to have the opportunity to be honest and explain why I've said and done what I've done in the past. It was never ment to play games, just a way of protecting myself from getting hurt. I've also often heard/read that Virgos prefer people to be honest about their feelings.

I also said I needed the talk to him the first time I saw him 3 weeks ago, and he kept away until last Friday, so it seems like he doesn't want to hear what I've got to say. I don't see the problem with hearing what I've got to say. The other woman has expressed what she feels for him, and it has not bothered him much. Why is he so scared of me saying what I have to say?

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