Diagnosing his behaviour

Hello,so I am back. Didn't hope to but had to.

So things have been kinda off lately with my virguy. He has gotten too detached and disconnected. He has been throwing around the "i dont care" attitude lately. "You're hurt because I said that? I dont care". "You're mad at me because I did that? I dont care" etc etc etc.

Weirdly, strangely and sadly this timing has been a bad coincidence ever since I lost my virginity to him last month i.e.8 months after our relationship.

He has been way too disconnected as if he's not really in love with me anymore. We had our final sem exam these past 2 weeks. We always studied and talked everyday in our previous sem during the exam but this time not one word of text. The only time we talked a bit was when he'd come to college for exam, he'd call me and we'd go to exam hall together and go back home together. I didn't bring it up because his cgpa isn't really good so I thought he's working hard so I would be more than happy if he didnt text and raise his score instead.

However, he has also started criticizing my looks and hurting me by making hurtful remarks and comparing me to others. I told him he's being an asshole and that's hurting me ,he said "you can't take every little tiniest of things to heart and make a big drama out of it each time". I reminded him that he even said his ex looked so good- he said she looks like ariana grande and that I don't look as good. He said "So? It's true.I can't lie. I havent chosen you for your looks." I got mad and I said "so why dont you lave me the fuck alone and go to Ms.Grande instead?". He said "you know that she slept with her best friend and cheated on me thrice. Such girls are called sluts and I don't think about a future with a slut".

Last week I asked him if he's happy with me and our relationship, so he said "yes,I am". I told him that something feels missing big time and I want his honest answer. He said he's happy. He also acknlowledged that we haven't talked for 2 weeks because he's tensed with our exams.

While returning home he even said "you dont know I have a lot of tension going on in my head". I asked him to share and he said "My cgpa. Your life is set. You have a great cgpa,you're among the toppers, you have a perfect resume and a great GRE score,you'll get whatever you want but I wont".

I tried instilling faith and tried encouraging him but failed.

Also, the same day, I had to get my transcript and it takes half an hour so I had to wait back in college. He almost left with his friends for home completely forgetting about me until one of them reminded him that he's leaving without me. That's when he came to me and we left home together. He was grumpy the entire time he was with me. I got to know about it today so I confronted him just now and again, he said "if you want to make a big scene out of such small issues each time then I have nothing to say. There are 100 things going on in my mind.Had I still left despite being reminded then that'd have been wrong but I waited back although it wasn't really my job".He got mad at me and went off to sleep.

Our exam ended the day before and we had sex the 2nd time(my idea). Our mutual friends and I hung out yesterday so i called him to join us and he said he gave away all his clothes in laundry and has nothing to wear. When I sulked a bit,he added "we met yesterday, so what's the need today?". That hurt bad.

He has been spending time with his male friends drinking alcohol and smoking weed. They have been doing it too frequently. He has a job interview tomorrow so I know he's too worried about his performance although he wont show it to me at all. Instead, he behaves as if he doesn't care about the interview at all and hasn't prepared as much.

Can anyone make any sense of this Virgo's behaviour towards me? Is it a sign of him falling out of love from me or it's just a bad temporary phase? Pour in your opinions virgos!! And suggest me what can I do to make things better.

Posted by MacDaddyInfinite

Sounds like typical retardo guy attitude when his chick is more successful than him. Hell his comparison to his Ex makes this clear. He's insecure cause he thinks you'll cheat on him if he doesn't "match up".

I disagree with the latter part. He knows I am not the kind to cheat. Rather, that's one of the main reasons why he desperately craved a relationship with me after his ex cheated on him, thrice.

Once he was drunk with his best friend(we are all classmates so he knows me well) and they were discussing me. His best friend asked him who is better-his ex or me and he said "With her(me), I can sleep peacefully at nights knowing she's either studying or writing a research paper or having a goodnight's sleep".

So many times he has said that I am less like a girlfriend material and more like a wife material because I am too much into 100% wanting to marry the person I am in a relationship with and he knows it too well.I know it probably sounds crazy but yeah.

Once he was tipsy with me and we were going somewhere and he looked at me and said "who ever risks losing you is the biggest idiot ever".

Reminiscing all these words make me sad when I see this disconnect from his side right now.

PS- I must add, this time after all our exams, he annoyed the hell out of me by saying this one common line everyday- "you'll get your perfect gpa even this time. Even if you don't study much and don't write perfect answers some of the professors will still make sure you get your perfect score. People like me have to work hard and write perfect answers to receive atleast a decent score." It really annoyed me. I told him it's pissing me off, and he kept saying "it's true" and repeated it.

Plus, as I said, he has his job interview tomorrow and although I know he's too nervous from within, he's showing as if he doesn't really care about it. I'll still wish him luck and best tomorrow morning. I've never judged him,nor will I despite his performance but I do feel a sense of insecurity seeping through from him. I might be wrong and overthinking but ..

Posted by tiziani

How old is he? Just out of interest.

21.

Too young ,I know.

But I have seen 21 year old virgos handle a relationship being well stable and mature.

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

What was he like before you slept together? He may have just been ‘acting’ a certain way until he got what he wanted and now his true colours are coming out.

This thought did cross my mind but I choose not to believe it. He has had a super active sex life with his ex,whereas, I was a virgin. He respected it when I told him I want to wait. We did fight a few times given his super high libido but he never really pressured me or blackmailed me. He's too stubborn but he realizes it when he calms down. We have stayed overnight in hotels so many times when we went out for mini vacations and he never forced me for sex. It was tough for him to resist but he did.

Many a times I have been difficult for him to handle too. He always says that he never had so many fights with any of his exes as much as we fight. Any guy in that situation would easily bail out,even more so if he's not getting any sex.

The main difference I see is that earlier we used to talk so much. He was totally into me,craved for my company. He used to be sensitive towards my feelings. He used to criticize but never put me down by comparing my looks to anyone else or making me feel as if I dont look as good, the way he does now.

When I lost my virginity, he did take good care of me when we were in the hotel. He made sure that I was totally fine. I felt completely loved. We talked even after I reached home. It was normal. But things took a turn few days later.

There was a misunderstanding between us where he thought I was giving more importance to a male classmate than to him so we fought. Then 4 days later a big incident happened(which i shared here on dxpnet) where my female bestie alleged that my boyfriend was getting too touchy with her the previous day in my absence. It turned out that my bestie exaggerated the story and my boyfriend only treated her well with the intention of a good friend.that's it. That entire episode led to a major breakup between my bestie and me,our friendship of 3 years.My boyfriend told her to stay away from us as he said she is damaging our relationship by narrating exaggerated stories to me. So she texted me the next day saying that my boyfriend wants her to stay away from me and him so she doesn't know us anymore. So that incident did create some negativity in our relationship too.

And then 3 days later aain there was a big misunderstanding where my boyfriend misinterpreted me and thought I was giving more importance to the same male classmate, whereas I was just talking normally. So I guess these 3 negative incidents back to back perhaps made some impact as there were a lot of mutual accusations and justifications and then we had our exam period immediately. So maybe that ,along with his insecurity related to cgpa,had an effect.

I am not sure, I am just assuming. Right now he just doesn't care if I feel hurt by his words/actions or whatever it is.

That's his current phase.

Posted by virgoop

he is probably insecure and worried about his future academically. but still not an excuse to be a piece of shit.

you can support him through all these or you can acknowledge that you're just too good for him.

I discussed it yesterday with a very close mutual friend and she said that she feels as if he can't see a future with me and he made up in his mind that we'd breakup soon after college gets over next year so he's purposely distancing himself so that it hurts us less,especially me as he knows how attached and in love I am with him.

I really hope what she says isn't true.I am planning to text him and ask him this tomorrow once he's done with his job interview tomorrow morning.

I really want to be supportive. I love him, I can't turn my back. I just don't know how to support him because he has a high ego and he's stubborn. He throws the "don't tell me what I must do" attitude.

Posted by HeartofTopazz

Posted by gia

Hello,so I am back.

Hi again

click to expand

hahahahaha >_<

A pisces positive mind will never work with a negative minded virgo

Look, he’s immature in how he’s dealing with when you bring things up but you’re mostly just looking at how things make you feel. You’re not truly putting yourself in his shoes. The guy is stressing over his future.

If he wants to unwind with his friends he’s entitled to do so. If he doesn’t want to spend every moment texting/being around you, he’s entitled to do so. You nagging him isn’t going to make him want to spend more time with you, if anything it’ll make him want to avoid you.

Look, virgos aren’t love sick puppies that dream about romance the way us water signs do. They are blunt and they will always do things their way, especially when they’re young. He will eventually have enough of your nagging.

I’ve said this to you before but you need to evaluate if you want to commit to who he truly is, not what you want him to be. Because as it is now you don’t really trust him and a lot of the things he does rub you up the wrong way.

Thank you for your replies guys. Yeah, even i don't want to believe it has anything to do with losing my virginity to him.

Even I think it's his insecurity brewing up. I love him,I never want him to feel low but it's not acceptable of him putting me down with my looks.

He'll make some hurtful remarks related to the way I look and then when I get hurt, he'll say "if you start creating a drama each time out of anything I say out of fun, then there's nothing I can do about it"

I find that highly manipulative and unacceptable.I don't know why has he become so insensitive.

Earlier he used to encourage me to take care of my face because he'd keep saying that I look very pretty but I never maintain myself as much so it never comes out as much and that's true. I have never prioritized all these things as I always remain consumed with sports or academia and I have never done any makeup(I don't even have a lipstick at home) whereas he likes high maintenance girls. The ones you see on Insta having thousands of followers.He follows plenty of such girls because they look good and wear stylish sexy clothes.

He says he likes such qualities but he doesn't want any of those girls as their girlfriend but wants those qualities in his girlfriend .i.e.in me. Encouraging me to take care of my face or get better clothes is fine but now recently he has started putting me down by making offensive remarks. I havent seen him get this insensitive. He even made me cry and even that doesnt affect him anymore. He has become too cold.

Now, another thing is, our entire class tells him that he has changed so much after entering in a relationship with me. He used to have this casanova type image but ever since we got together he doesn't entertain anyone else as much. This part is good.

But people also tell him that how much he has started working hard academically after getting in a relationship with me. There have been times when some of our classmates who have been good friends of his ,walked up to us and said "you have changed so much. Gia is responsible for your high grades this semester" and he gets mad. He wont show it much but I know it pricks him. Earlier he used to have around 3.0/4 GPA so his CGPA went low. However, after we got in a relationship previous sem, his previous sem's GPA was a 3.8/4 .

That's a huge difference. He never studied before but now he studies a lot and I am proud of him.

He never bothered about studies,GPA,CGPA before but now he's 100% focussed and everyone from our class(including our proessors) credit me for it. He says I have no role here and he has become studious as he needs to increase his CGPA and I support him but nobody buys that.

I think these things also play a role in making him feel negatively towards me. Don't ya'll think?

To add more, yeah I agree I have been nagging a lot too because of his behaviour. I just wanted positivity between us and nothing but love but it's just negativity brewing up. And I do realize that confronting him is only adding on to the negativity. For eg. yesterday when our mutual friend told me that last week my guy totally forgot about me while leaving for home after exam until someone reminding him that he missed me out, I confronted him today about it and he got mad. He said that I shouldnt have listened to what someone else is saying but I should have been understanding that he was under a lot of exam stress so he got absentminded and thus forgot about me. He gave me the cold shoulder for few hours and then we moved past it and got normal.

That made me realize that he is indeed going through a lot of stress. He has to prepare for MBA next year and increase his CGPA. So I do get that. I am just trying to understand how can I be a good girfriend to him at this phase.

I want us to be happy and not negative. Negativity if kept going for long eventually eats up feelings and love away. I can't let that happen so I have to learn how to make this better.

Diagnose coming in..

Peepp peep...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! We have code FU.CKTARD, I repeat code FU.CKTARD spiced with INSECURITIES AND RAISIN-DICK-CONFIDENCE!

stay calm as you proceed to carefully position his ass for a huge kick out of your life

Peep peep

End of diagnose

Posted by tiziani

To be real, I feel the positive-at-all-costs type of girlfriend can really be hopelessly inadequate in relationships.

When life's going rough, she takes it like it's a personal failure of hers and goes into a negative spiral of internal criticism.

Then when she's exhausted that option of beating herself up over how to be a good partner and "why aren't we happy? how can I do better?" inevitably she turns that criticism into a ton of judgemental comments over how her partner is living his life.

It just feeds into just a circle of resentment.

That hit me. That made sense, Tiz !!

I am just blank at this moment. You know how it it with pisces. We are glutted with various intuitions.

Good,bad and ugly intuitions.

It's very damaging and I am aware but helpless.

It's like, I know he won't cheat on me he's committed to me but then I see instagram and he sends follow requests to random hot girls like some random models who are known in public(which is okay) but some random girls with hot dp and hot pics and they accept his follow request(which I find weird).

I know he most likely does this to increase his followers list but it get bothersome sometimes but I just can't make any new confrontations anymore. It will kill it all at an instant so I am keeping this one to myself.

Another ugly one is that I have this huge insecurity where I feel he doesnt feel for me and love me the way he did for his ex. The way he used to talk about her, he sketched her face and painted it on her birthday, he'd travel for hours just to meet her after hectic college schedule and they had a live in relationship for a while as his parents were out of town for a year. Also the fact that he recently said that she is very good looking. I told him that I have seen her pictures and she appears average looking to me and he laughed and said "you havent seen her in person. She looks like Ariana Grande. She no way looks average." The way he defended her beauty versus the way he puts me down by making me feel that I don't look good, it all adds up and makes me feel way too insecure.

It's very unhealthy and I don't want our relationship to be like this. I truly believe we have a strong potential as a couple but since since about a month, there are so many negative incidents building up and eating away things.

Don't want to let this happen.

Posted by gia

Once he was tipsy with me and we were going somewhere and he looked at me and said "who ever risks losing you is the biggest idiot ever".

BROOO, ONCE HE WAS TIPSY HE WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET WHERE YOU TWO WERE GOING!!! LAST STOP: panTieS!! 5th BASE BURROWED DEEP INSIDE!!!

Posted by tiziani

Posted by gia

Posted by tiziani

To be real, I feel the positive-at-all-costs type of girlfriend can really be hopelessly inadequate in relationships.

When life's going rough, she takes it like it's a personal failure of hers and goes into a negative spiral of internal criticism.

Then when she's exhausted that option of beating herself up over how to be a good partner and "why aren't we happy? how can I do better?" inevitably she turns that criticism into a ton of judgemental comments over how her partner is living his life.

It just feeds into just a circle of resentment.

That hit me. That made sense, Tiz !!

I am just blank at this moment. You know how it it with pisces. We are glutted with various intuitions.

Good,bad and ugly intuitions.

It's very damaging and I am aware but helpless.

It's like, I know he won't cheat on me he's committed to me but then I see instagram and he sends follow requests to random hot girls like some random models who are known in public(which is okay) but some random girls with hot dp and hot pics and they accept his follow request(which I find weird).

I know he most likely does this to increase his followers list but it get bothersome sometimes but I just can't make any new confrontations anymore. It will kill it all at an instant so I am keeping this one to myself.

Another ugly one is that I have this huge insecurity where I feel he doesnt feel for me and love me the way he did for his ex. The way he used to talk about her, he sketched her face and painted it on her birthday, he'd travel for hours just to meet her after hectic college schedule and they had a live in relationship for a while as his parents were out of town for a year. Also the fact that he recently said that she is very good looking. I told him that I have seen her pictures and she appears average looking to me and he laughed and said "you havent seen her in person. She looks like Ariana Grande. She no way looks average." The way he defended her beauty versus the way he puts me down by making me feel that I don't look good, it all adds up and makes me feel way too insecure.

It's very unhealthy and I don't want our relationship to be like this. I truly believe we have a strong potential as a couple but since since about a month, there are so many negative incidents building up and eating away things.

Don't want to let this happen.

Yeah so his comments, while they're badly timed and he's speaking out of butthurt, are still coming from a real place where he's been paying attention to you. You're carrying personal slights to you from way back. I don't think there's much wrong with negativity if it can lead to a real confrontation. I really have had enough of false positivity (in my own personal life with people, not you or anyone here) for a lifetime.

Positive mindset, to me, is knowing how to manage setbacks and enjoying riding my way through those setbacks all the same.

When rough bumps happen in a relationship or we see things differently, it doesn't automatically turn into a personal slight to either one of us, and those setbacks definitely don't set us into a spiral of questioning whether we're good enough.

A lot of it boils down to experience, it's meaningless for me to write all of this. I'm writing it for me as much as for you lol to remind myself.

click to expand

Lol you know I agree with you about the constant positivity part.

Imagine though constantly addressing the same things and the other person isn’t listening.. That just seems futile to me. Continuing to do the same thing expecting different results. Either the approach is poor or the recipient isn’t willing to change. That’s the part I think OP could contemplate on.

I’ve been the OP shoes actually and had to learn the hard way when to be adamant about standing up for myself (and backing it up with action), what I could/couldn’t put up with and occasionally when it just wasn’t worth a fight. So yeah like you were saying experience is the best teacher.

> Posted by tiziani

Posted by tiziani

When rough bumps happen in a relationship or we see things differently, it doesn't automatically turn into a personal slight to either one of us, and those setbacks definitely don't set us into a spiral of questioning whether we're good enough.

click to expand

While it doesn't set me into a spiral of questioning whether we're good enough but it does to him.

He treats the smallest negative incident as a major loophole red flag and keeps a count.

Given the amount of negative incidents built over a short period of just 1 month, I am sure one new argument/nag/confrontation/*insert any negative term* within next 2-3 weeks and the entire relationship will end right there.

Posted by Mhmmm

Posted by tiziani

Posted by gia

Posted by tiziani

To be real, I feel the positive-at-all-costs type of girlfriend can really be hopelessly inadequate in relationships.

When life's going rough, she takes it like it's a personal failure of hers and goes into a negative spiral of internal criticism.

Then when she's exhausted that option of beating herself up over how to be a good partner and "why aren't we happy? how can I do better?" inevitably she turns that criticism into a ton of judgemental comments over how her partner is living his life.

It just feeds into just a circle of resentment.

That hit me. That made sense, Tiz !!

I am just blank at this moment. You know how it it with pisces. We are glutted with various intuitions.

Good,bad and ugly intuitions.

It's very damaging and I am aware but helpless.

It's like, I know he won't cheat on me he's committed to me but then I see instagram and he sends follow requests to random hot girls like some random models who are known in public(which is okay) but some random girls with hot dp and hot pics and they accept his follow request(which I find weird).

I know he most likely does this to increase his followers list but it get bothersome sometimes but I just can't make any new confrontations anymore. It will kill it all at an instant so I am keeping this one to myself.

Another ugly one is that I have this huge insecurity where I feel he doesnt feel for me and love me the way he did for his ex. The way he used to talk about her, he sketched her face and painted it on her birthday, he'd travel for hours just to meet her after hectic college schedule and they had a live in relationship for a while as his parents were out of town for a year. Also the fact that he recently said that she is very good looking. I told him that I have seen her pictures and she appears average looking to me and he laughed and said "you havent seen her in person. She looks like Ariana Grande. She no way looks average." The way he defended her beauty versus the way he puts me down by making me feel that I don't look good, it all adds up and makes me feel way too insecure.

It's very unhealthy and I don't want our relationship to be like this. I truly believe we have a strong potential as a couple but since since about a month, there are so many negative incidents building up and eating away things.

Don't want to let this happen.

Yeah so his comments, while they're badly timed and he's speaking out of butthurt, are still coming from a real place where he's been paying attention to you. You're carrying personal slights to you from way back. I don't think there's much wrong with negativity if it can lead to a real confrontation. I really have had enough of false positivity (in my own personal life with people, not you or anyone here) for a lifetime.

Positive mindset, to me, is knowing how to manage setbacks and enjoying riding my way through those setbacks all the same.

When rough bumps happen in a relationship or we see things differently, it doesn't automatically turn into a personal slight to either one of us, and those setbacks definitely don't set us into a spiral of questioning whether we're good enough.

A lot of it boils down to experience, it's meaningless for me to write all of this. I'm writing it for me as much as for you lol to remind myself.

Lol you know I agree with you about the constant positivity part.

Imagine though constantly addressing the same things and the other person isn’t listening.. That just seems futile to me. Continuing to do the same thing expecting different results. Either the approach is poor or the recipient isn’t willing to change. That’s the part I think OP could contemplate on.

I’ve been the OP shoes actually and had to learn the hard way when to be adamant about standing up for myself (and backing it up with action), what I could/couldn’t put up with and occasionally when it just wasn’t worth a fight. So yeah like you were saying experience is the best teacher.

click to expand

Couldn't agree more

Posted by Skeleton

You know what bothers me the most with all the respond is as if they never had an experience with relationship + stress through exams before.

Ofcourse he'll be distant and his behavioral changed and he's fucking young that goes through overwhelmed of everything he has to deal with.

Just wait before the exams will be over and then you guys are able to talk to talk and confront it. Right now give him space.

Our exams got done the day before,@Skeleton.

We even made love that day after exam. While he was amazing while having sex, he again behaved like an asshole after we got done.I told him we need to talk(wanted to talk about his changed behavior) and he said "I dont want to" and he remained glued to videos on instagram.

He just didn't leave his phone despite constantly asking him to.

Then he started watching funny series on YouTube and I joined in instead of getting mad at him so we saw and laughed together watching the videos,and that was it.

Sometimes he keeps throwing jokes at times about how he never wants to get married(because he knows how much I want us to) just to pull my legs and see my reaction. He did it that day too. He pulled out a picture from insta where a man,his wife and their baby were cuddled asleep on the couch. He showed it to me and asked "this is what you want right?" and I said "of course". Then he laughed and said "I am not that kinda guy" and as predictable, my face suddenly turned pale and he started laughing even more and said "whenever I say something like this it's interesting to watch your facial reaction. It's completely predictable but fun to watch".

I don't understand him.

Then tomorrow he has a job placement test. He isnt interested in taking up a job now as he wants to do his MBA but he still has to give the test tomorrow for it's mandatory. I told him to keep calm and not be nervous, he said he doesn't care at all and he just wants to go home after the test. He lives in hostel so it's been a while since he went home. So he said he desperately wants to go home so he's going tomorrow to be with his family.

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

You know what bothers me the most with all the respond is as if they never had an experience with relationship + stress through exams before.

Ofcourse he'll be distant and his behavioral changed and he's fucking young that goes through overwhelmed of everything he has to deal with.

Just wait before the exams will be over and then you guys are able to talk to talk and confront it. Right now give him space.

Our exams got done the day before,@Skeleton.

We even made love that day after exam. While he was amazing while having sex, he again behaved like an asshole after we got done.I told him we need to talk(wanted to talk about his changed behavior) and he said "I dont want to" and he remained glued to videos on instagram.

He just didn't leave his phone despite constantly asking him to.

Then he started watching funny series on YouTube and I joined in instead of getting mad at him so we saw and laughed together watching the videos,and that was it.

Sometimes he keeps throwing jokes at times about how he never wants to get married(because he knows how much I want us to) just to pull my legs and see my reaction. He did it that day too. He pulled out a picture from insta where a man,his wife and their baby were cuddled asleep on the couch. He showed it to me and asked "this is what you want right?" and I said "of course". Then he laughed and said "I am not that kinda guy" and as predictable, my face suddenly turned pale and he started laughing even more and said "whenever I say something like this it's interesting to watch your facial reaction. It's completely predictable but fun to watch".

I don't understand him.

Then tomorrow he has a job placement test. He isnt interested in taking up a job now as he wants to do his MBA but he still has to give the test tomorrow for it's mandatory. I told him to keep calm and not be nervous, he said he doesn't care at all and he just wants to go home after the test. He lives in hostel so it's been a while since he went home. So he said he desperately wants to go home so he's going tomorrow to be with his family.

If thats the case, hate to dissapointing you but he's out of love.

click to expand

Do you say that because he remained glued to his phone when I said we need to talk?

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

You know what bothers me the most with all the respond is as if they never had an experience with relationship + stress through exams before.

Ofcourse he'll be distant and his behavioral changed and he's fucking young that goes through overwhelmed of everything he has to deal with.

Just wait before the exams will be over and then you guys are able to talk to talk and confront it. Right now give him space.

Our exams got done the day before,@Skeleton.

We even made love that day after exam. While he was amazing while having sex, he again behaved like an asshole after we got done.I told him we need to talk(wanted to talk about his changed behavior) and he said "I dont want to" and he remained glued to videos on instagram.

He just didn't leave his phone despite constantly asking him to.

Then he started watching funny series on YouTube and I joined in instead of getting mad at him so we saw and laughed together watching the videos,and that was it.

Sometimes he keeps throwing jokes at times about how he never wants to get married(because he knows how much I want us to) just to pull my legs and see my reaction. He did it that day too. He pulled out a picture from insta where a man,his wife and their baby were cuddled asleep on the couch. He showed it to me and asked "this is what you want right?" and I said "of course". Then he laughed and said "I am not that kinda guy" and as predictable, my face suddenly turned pale and he started laughing even more and said "whenever I say something like this it's interesting to watch your facial reaction. It's completely predictable but fun to watch".

I don't understand him.

Then tomorrow he has a job placement test. He isnt interested in taking up a job now as he wants to do his MBA but he still has to give the test tomorrow for it's mandatory. I told him to keep calm and not be nervous, he said he doesn't care at all and he just wants to go home after the test. He lives in hostel so it's been a while since he went home. So he said he desperately wants to go home so he's going tomorrow to be with his family.

If thats the case, hate to dissapointing you but he's out of love.

Do you say that because he remained glued to his phone when I said we need to talk?

click to expand

I think it’s more because he is ‘not that kind of a guy’...

According to my assumption, I think he's deeply frustrated with something. He probably feels nothing is going right in his life because it's now that he feels that fire to do well academically and actually take things seriously and it's kinda late.

This negative tension in our relationship + his low CGPA stress(major and most significant part) + stress about his MBA exam next year + something I may not be aware of.

I think it's an amalgamation of all these things.

And that's why at times he keeps saying "your life is set.Perfect GPA,perfect GRE score" repeatedly..

Also, I don't know if it's related but I must say, he has become too much into increasing his followers on Insta. He has been sending crazy follow requests to random girls. These girls accept his follow request but aren't following him back. Out of frustration,just now he changed his insta dp for a hot one. He put up an enticing sexy dp of his so that these girls follow him back. All these according to me are major signs of frustration and insecurity..

Does this thought make sense?

What a douche!!! That's like psychological terror on you.

It's such a shame we as human beings get so emotionally invested and attached to other people and their validation, although it is also good sometimes. Because if you weren't so emotionally invested you could see from the outside how much of a douchy guy he is being atm.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

You know what bothers me the most with all the respond is as if they never had an experience with relationship + stress through exams before.

Ofcourse he'll be distant and his behavioral changed and he's fucking young that goes through overwhelmed of everything he has to deal with.

Just wait before the exams will be over and then you guys are able to talk to talk and confront it. Right now give him space.

Our exams got done the day before,@Skeleton.

We even made love that day after exam. While he was amazing while having sex, he again behaved like an asshole after we got done.I told him we need to talk(wanted to talk about his changed behavior) and he said "I dont want to" and he remained glued to videos on instagram.

He just didn't leave his phone despite constantly asking him to.

Then he started watching funny series on YouTube and I joined in instead of getting mad at him so we saw and laughed together watching the videos,and that was it.

Sometimes he keeps throwing jokes at times about how he never wants to get married(because he knows how much I want us to) just to pull my legs and see my reaction. He did it that day too. He pulled out a picture from insta where a man,his wife and their baby were cuddled asleep on the couch. He showed it to me and asked "this is what you want right?" and I said "of course". Then he laughed and said "I am not that kinda guy" and as predictable, my face suddenly turned pale and he started laughing even more and said "whenever I say something like this it's interesting to watch your facial reaction. It's completely predictable but fun to watch".

I don't understand him.

Then tomorrow he has a job placement test. He isnt interested in taking up a job now as he wants to do his MBA but he still has to give the test tomorrow for it's mandatory. I told him to keep calm and not be nervous, he said he doesn't care at all and he just wants to go home after the test. He lives in hostel so it's been a while since he went home. So he said he desperately wants to go home so he's going tomorrow to be with his family.

If thats the case, hate to dissapointing you but he's out of love.

Do you say that because he remained glued to his phone when I said we need to talk?

I think it’s more because he is ‘not that kind of a guy’...

click to expand

I know he is. He is a family guy. Like I said I don't know what is wrong with him at present else he has always valued me and our relationship. He knows I am the kind who gets in a relationship wanting it to turn out into something in the long run,get married,start a family. He knows it too well and many times he said that's why he wanted our relationship so much.

It's since this past 1 month that things have become too weird,unstable and unsettling.

His job placement test gets over by afternoon and then he leaves for home which is a 2 hours journey by train.

I am planning to text him tomorrow and ask if everything is okay with him. I'll ask him if he still has feelings for me and loves me the same. I'll also ask if he's frustrated or tensed with something he can share it with me.

I don't want to force him to answer but I need it.

I'll be direct that I feel things have changed from his side and it's important for me to know what and why.

Posted by gia

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

You know what bothers me the most with all the respond is as if they never had an experience with relationship + stress through exams before.

Ofcourse he'll be distant and his behavioral changed and he's fucking young that goes through overwhelmed of everything he has to deal with.

Just wait before the exams will be over and then you guys are able to talk to talk and confront it. Right now give him space.

Our exams got done the day before,@Skeleton.

We even made love that day after exam. While he was amazing while having sex, he again behaved like an asshole after we got done.I told him we need to talk(wanted to talk about his changed behavior) and he said "I dont want to" and he remained glued to videos on instagram.

He just didn't leave his phone despite constantly asking him to.

Then he started watching funny series on YouTube and I joined in instead of getting mad at him so we saw and laughed together watching the videos,and that was it.

Sometimes he keeps throwing jokes at times about how he never wants to get married(because he knows how much I want us to) just to pull my legs and see my reaction. He did it that day too. He pulled out a picture from insta where a man,his wife and their baby were cuddled asleep on the couch. He showed it to me and asked "this is what you want right?" and I said "of course". Then he laughed and said "I am not that kinda guy" and as predictable, my face suddenly turned pale and he started laughing even more and said "whenever I say something like this it's interesting to watch your facial reaction. It's completely predictable but fun to watch".

I don't understand him.

Then tomorrow he has a job placement test. He isnt interested in taking up a job now as he wants to do his MBA but he still has to give the test tomorrow for it's mandatory. I told him to keep calm and not be nervous, he said he doesn't care at all and he just wants to go home after the test. He lives in hostel so it's been a while since he went home. So he said he desperately wants to go home so he's going tomorrow to be with his family.

If thats the case, hate to dissapointing you but he's out of love.

Do you say that because he remained glued to his phone when I said we need to talk?

I think it’s more because he is ‘not that kind of a guy’...

I know he is. He is a family guy. Like I said I don't know what is wrong with him at present else he has always valued me and our relationship. He knows I am the kind who gets in a relationship wanting it to turn out into something in the long run,get married,start a family. He knows it too well and many times he said that's why he wanted our relationship so much.

It's since this past 1 month that things have become too weird,unstable and unsettling.

click to expand

You are so nice, loving, secure. Showing him love. He started taking you for granted. If you’ll continue being such he will soon downgrade you to a doormat. Will you keep loving him and assume position at his feet?

Men love bitches!

I really can’t be the one unless I am feeling under upreciated or god forbid hurt!

Think girl. This ship is sinking.

Had he ever asked you to join him for Holidays?

What are the chances that drinking and smoking are effecting his gpa.

He needs to get his life together.

Have you met his family?

Invited over for the holidays?

Are you spending nyeve with him.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by gia

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by gia

Posted by Skeleton

You know what bothers me the most with all the respond is as if they never had an experience with relationship + stress through exams before.

Ofcourse he'll be distant and his behavioral changed and he's fucking young that goes through overwhelmed of everything he has to deal with.

Just wait before the exams will be over and then you guys are able to talk to talk and confront it. Right now give him space.

Our exams got done the day before,@Skeleton.

We even made love that day after exam. While he was amazing while having sex, he again behaved like an asshole after we got done.I told him we need to talk(wanted to talk about his changed behavior) and he said "I dont want to" and he remained glued to videos on instagram.

He just didn't leave his phone despite constantly asking him to.

Then he started watching funny series on YouTube and I joined in instead of getting mad at him so we saw and laughed together watching the videos,and that was it.

Sometimes he keeps throwing jokes at times about how he never wants to get married(because he knows how much I want us to) just to pull my legs and see my reaction. He did it that day too. He pulled out a picture from insta where a man,his wife and their baby were cuddled asleep on the couch. He showed it to me and asked "this is what you want right?" and I said "of course". Then he laughed and said "I am not that kinda guy" and as predictable, my face suddenly turned pale and he started laughing even more and said "whenever I say something like this it's interesting to watch your facial reaction. It's completely predictable but fun to watch".

I don't understand him.

Then tomorrow he has a job placement test. He isnt interested in taking up a job now as he wants to do his MBA but he still has to give the test tomorrow for it's mandatory. I told him to keep calm and not be nervous, he said he doesn't care at all and he just wants to go home after the test. He lives in hostel so it's been a while since he went home. So he said he desperately wants to go home so he's going tomorrow to be with his family.

If thats the case, hate to dissapointing you but he's out of love.

Do you say that because he remained glued to his phone when I said we need to talk?

I think it’s more because he is ‘not that kind of a guy’...

I know he is. He is a family guy. Like I said I don't know what is wrong with him at present else he has always valued me and our relationship. He knows I am the kind who gets in a relationship wanting it to turn out into something in the long run,get married,start a family. He knows it too well and many times he said that's why he wanted our relationship so much.

It's since this past 1 month that things have become too weird,unstable and unsettling.

You are so nice, loving, secure. Showing him love. He started taking you for granted. If you’ll continue being such he will soon downgrade you to a doormat. Will you keep loving him and assume position at his feet?

Men love bitches!

I really can’t be the one unless I am feeling under upreciated or god forbid hurt!

Think girl. This ship is sinking.

Had he ever asked you to join him for Holidays?

click to expand

Yeah we have celebrated festivals and holidays together before. We have been on multiple vacation during the holidays. I was a virgin then and not once did he force me for sex or such despite having a super high libido. That's the reason why I am hesitant to not work to make things better between us.

I agree with you that he is most certainly taking me for granted now. He very well knows I am someone who values relationships immensely and he knows I love him just too much. So he knows I am not the kind who'd just leave.

But I can't let him take me for granted. I think I must stop texting him of my own and let him initiate now.

Posted by Sagicorn

Criticize him back. Seriously. Whatever you dislike about him just say it when he starts his attitude towards you. I was you for a while and have been putting up with that shitty behavior. And thought the same that he's just out of love and it's over. But it wasn't and we're still together and that phase is long gone. He used to criticize absolutely everything for some period of relationship. I have an idea what it was about but never got a clarification. Anyway, don't let him do that without responding back at him. And about that Grande shit...get used to it cause they say stuff like that and will never ever feel bad about it so don't let it bother you. Realize he chose you for you, not cause you're the prettiest woman out there, sure they'll admire the pretty but it's not what's crucial to them. I get how it makes you feel but look at it from different perspective. You can't be the most beautiful woman in the world and that's perfectly fine, so is it really worth losing your nerves over it? All in all, talk back at him when he's being that way and don't let him torture you with his words without responding back.

Wow. That is some solid insight. Thank you so much @Sagicorn!!

Whenever he makes such butterty remarks, I either keep quiet, or give him my angry+hurt look silently or say "How can you talk like that" or say "if I am that bad then why the fuck are you with me? Just leave me and go to your perfect woman , we both would be happier that way". And then he either makes fun of my reaction or kisses me while I angrily push him away.

And about the pretty part. It's actually reverse. I don't think nor do I want to be the prettiest one or anything like that.

I am an average looking girl and have always been a highly secure and confident one.

As a typical virgo, earlier he used to say that he finds me pretty(I never ever bring out such topics for I am least bothered) but I never maintain myself so I don't justify the way I actually could have looked.

This criticism is perfectly fine. Whenever I got one tiny acne or pimple, he would give me household remedies on what and how I need to do it to make it go away fast. I am least bothered about all this as I know acne/pimple all these would go away with time but he'd ask me everyday if I am following the remedy or not. Hell, he used to even observe the size of my pimple if it's getting smaller or bigger or constant.

Same goes for my clothes. He feels I have a horrible sense of fashion whereas so many people have complimented me for some of my outfits before(including himself). I have 2 wardrobes full and he complains I need more clothes, I don't have any good ones. Then he'll take me to a good store and make me try out some dresses or pants or tops and if it hugs my curves, he'll get stubborn to make me buy it or buy it for me. Gets too annoying sometimes but atleast it's bearable and non-degrading and infact loving too.

But now it's different since a month. Now he bluntly says mean things which make me feel like I don't look good at all. For example, I went for my friend's wedding and my 1st ex was to be there with his wife. I asked my virguy if I should go as my ex would be there and his wife knows about us(me and my ex). So he said "don't think too much of yourself. She won't feel insecure about you at all. Yeah, now if Sim was invited too, then his wife surely has a reason to feel insecure". Sim is a good looking girl in our college over whom most guys go gaga over her looks including my bf. I didn't respond so he said "just kidding." He wasn't. Then he added "just do light makeup,put on a good dress and you'll look alright".I find it too offensive.

Then the next day when he asked me how did the wedding go, I said "ya my ex saw me after 8 years and he said i have changed so much I look so different". So he laughed and said " did he say you look even worse now than you did 8 years ago?" I got mad at him but I said "No, he said I look prettier now",again he laughed and said "I thought you date genuine guys but that's not true now that I hear your ex".

Like seriously! Who talks like that? And when I rightly feel offended and hurt and don't talk to him, he says "if you want to create such a drama each time for such small small things, then there's some serious trouble that I can't help.You need to mature up and stop getting affected by everything I say".

When I said "what if I say the same thing to you?". He said "say it. It won't affect me. I know how I am". That's a bull because hes 100x more sensitive than me. He added "Besides, you say things you 100% mean whereas I am into ridiculing people. That's how I am. You don't say things for fun. You're a serious person so it's different if you'd say something".

It's like, he'll say something mean out of fun or whatever, and I react hurt and anger and that irritates him. This has been happening too much so it's creating too much negativity between us. I don't know how can I work around this.

Posted by LadyNeptune

What are the chances that drinking and smoking are effecting his gpa.

He needs to get his life together.

His GPA was low when he was with his ex for the amount of sex and fun they used to have. It used to be around 2.9/4 or max 3.0/4.

Whereas with me, he has become too focussed on academics and has shot up to a 3.8/4.0. He is among the top 5% rank holders now since previous sem after we got together. Everyone, each of our classmates and the professors credit me for a drastic significant increase in his GPA. It really pinches him when people say "See how you were before and see your scores now after Gia came in your life". It's his hardwork. I don't teach him. I don't want any credits, nor do I want him to feel low or anything because such comments do create negativity in guys with a high ego.

However, since his GPA was low before and he never cared before, his CGPA is too low despite scoring high the previous sem. It's a 4 years course so you know, how tough it gets to raise your CGPA if you mess up 1 or more semesters and he messed up 5 semesters. Now that he has gotten too focussed academically(and I am so proud), he is too tensed and nervous about how he'll increase his CGPA given that we just have 1 sem remaining and how it might affect his career etc etc. He resorted to drinking and smoking so often with his dormmates as that gives him temporary relaxation. It's actually sad. I feel sad when I think about it. I wish he found that comfort in me instead of weed and alcohol.

He was way too carefree and careless before but now he's putting his life together and I support that and I want him to know that I support that. I totally understand if this is the reason why he has temporarily detached himself from me.

I won't complain. But, I am not confirmed if this is the real reason or it's because he has fallen out of love.

It doesn’t matter if it’s this guy or another, until you abandon or learn to somewhat temper this ‘matyr’ complex you’ve got going on and turn into a badass biotch with some real self respect -these issues will reoccur in every relationship you co-create...

he’s not going to change but you CAN change yourself and that change MIGHT involve throwing this baby out with his bath water

Yeah, alrighty alrighty. See, I do understand how people behave when they get frustrated with something.

Virgos are not the best with handling too much stress. They panic- A LOT.

I am a pisces and I myself have lashed out at my mother so many times when I am highly stressed or frustrated about something, but I love her to death.

He is frustrated with his academics and he's stressing about putting his life together. He has always showered and pampered me with attention so I don't want to judge him fast.

When you see an otherwise good person behave abnormal to you, you dont just simply quit on them. Simply quiting instantly does not always mean that you hold a high self respect.Instead,it means you're too weak to handle real emotions of love and are incapable of handling the ups and downs of a practical relationship. Instead of quiting on them,you dissect what is making them behave that way and then when you have your facts together, that's when you decide what to do - quit or look for a solution.

I do realize I've overdone my sweetness and that's making my relationship diabetic.

He had his job placement test today and I had wished him luck last night. He texted me of his own once he got done describing how it went. Didn't go great. We texted a bit and then he had to leave for home so that was it.

He hasn't met his family for a while now so I am not expecting him to be texting much anyway and I'd like him to spend time with them.

I won't talk to him of my own now. If any conversation has to take place, he'll be the one to initiate it.

If he doesn't text for 2-3 days, then so be it but I wont initiate. And if he makes any insulting remarks again, I'll do as @Sagicorn did with her guy.

Let's see how it goes and if he makes an effort for our relationship the way he always used to before.

Just an update -

We are back to normal now.

He wished me Christmas and I told him that we have been disconnected and he seems detached so what's the matter. I asked him if i have done something or is it something related to our relationship or his career or something else.

He laughed and said he's all good and normal.

He said nothing has happened,everything is fine and that I am overthinking.

My parents are going out of town day after tomorrow so he and I made plans to spend the entire day together.We stay 3 hours far and he just went home to be with his family after several months so I appreciate him coming. Also, he himself made NYE plans with me. He shortlisted some places we could go for a vacation together.

Maybe it was just one of those phases which people go through where you behave off,weird and not good.

I had started nagging too much too so I'll have to stop that completely. I just want us to remain positive and happy.

I hope it stays good.

Thank you all for your advice and thoughts.I appreciate each one of you. Merry Christmas ❤️ ❤️

Virgos can act like this when they’re stressed. I’ve had a few male Virgo friends and a brother. When they are stressed, they are the worst little bitches in existence. Worse than a woman PMS’ing.

And sometimes Virgos rival Pisces in their victimhood and martyrdom. Poor little Virgo will start complaining about how unfair life has been to them. About what everyone has done to them. How much more they have to struggle compared to everyone else. Watch, if you were to leave because of his being a little turd, he’ll tell everyone how you did him wrong, completely oblivious to how he acted. If you confront him, he’ll run away and shut down ‘cause he doesn’t like confrontations. Virgos love saying this, like they’re a special being who hates confrontation. Well, most people are like that! But again, Virgos thinks they’re special, and makes everyone else the problem.

As for his criticisms of you, again, Virgo excels at this. They’re the most insufferable bastards sometimes. Either he’s just being his Virgo self, or he’s doing it in hopes of pushing you away.

Or it’s just the negative Virgo coming out due to stress. Which will happen again and again the rest of his life every time he’s stressed. 🙄🙄🙄