Do virgos feel when a relationship ends?

Do virgo's feel anything when a relationship ends or are they just good at hiding it?

Im just intrigued to know, i just split from my virguy and it is like he feels absolutely nothing. He doesnt miss me, he doesnt feel sad all he says is that he sees things as black and white. Maybe it's just me but surely everybody feels a little sadness at what they have lost or left behind dont they? Or at least feel soemthing even if it is guilt? Are they really just that logical thinking?

lol, Rescueme .... you are still trying to get him to feel something, aren't you?


Yes, Virgo's experience sadness, loss, guilt .. all those things you said. However, they will only express them when they are experiencing them. If he isn't expressing them, then this means he isn't expressing them.

Don't forget ... Virgos say what they mean, and mean what they say.

If he isn't saying words of remorse, or pining away, or any kind of upset about the ending of this relationship .. then it means he isn't experiencing these emotions.

That ^^^ is speaking, generally. However, they are also people who have regard for other people to whom they know care about them ... and it isn't uncommon for them to mask how they feel to protect themselves under these circumstances.

What I mean by that ... he KNOWS that you are feeling him, wanting him to express to you words of endearment of how he feels about the ending of this relationship .. he knows that to tell you sentimental things right now would lead you on, it would make you think there's a chance for the two of you if he talked to you on an emotional level.

Just black and white, cut and dry ... severe the cord, clean sweep.

Your best bet at this time is to free yourself from thinking about him, so that this pain can pass .... the more you think of him, the longer and more enduring this pain is going to be.

Free yourself ..... 🙂🙂

"If he isn't expressing them, then this means he isn't expressing them."


That was suppose to read ....... If he isn't expressing them, then it means he isn't experiencing them.

lol P-Angel i can see why my post makes you laugh.

I am on the road to recovery you will be pleased to know I just find him such an enigma, im intrigued because i dont think i have ever come across someone like that. Being such a compassionate person myself it is the most odd thing to see someone not show a flicker of emotion so maybe i am still trying to get him to feel something.. but not for me. I've gone past the point of no return -whoop! There will never be a rescueme/virguy if he begged me.

I still feel a little sad of course but not for the relationship, more for the fact that im not sure what we had was real anyway. I feel soo much happier than I was. I am starting to actually look FORWARD to things again, i havent felt that for 3 long horrible months. With the added bonus everything i do now is for ME and i am starting to feel the determination of the old rescueme 🙂

This time last month i was dreading christmas and all the feelings and memories that come along with it but now I CANT WAIT for party season 🙂

Also i am trying hard not to think about him. When you have been thinking about someone 24 hours a day for a year ill be honest it is sooo hard. He has kept trying to sneak in there all week and every second at work but before i let my mind runaway with the thought i am trying so hard to distract myself talk to someone about something random or change the thought pattern. I am probably irritating my colleagues to death with my constant nattering and getting up to get a coffee but at least virguy will be getting less and less hey 🙂

That's awesome !!!!


Have this kind of attitude about the power of your personal energy, and that you have it within you to make yourself, and not depend on another person to make you, for you .... and you'll never hear the likes of me scolding you.

You go girl ... you have a right to make your own decisions and not be weak underneath a man, awaiting his decision of your fate.

I will tell you this .. and I hope that you take this as a lesson for your future, so you'll know the signs .. he was a Player.

Everything he said and did .... had all the signs. Don't ever forget how he blind-sided you with endearments, while side-stepping action to prove it.

Walk the Walk .. talk is cheap !!!!!

He taught you something here ... he taught you what to look for in the future .. if a man talks out of both sides of his mouth, Rescueme to get you to conform to him, while he does NOTHING on his end to conform to you ... he's a Player = kick him to the curb, ASAP.


don't worry ... Mr. Right exists .. you'll find each other.

thanks p-angel. I have learnt soo much from this whole sorry mess about me, relationships, everything. I never will let myself get so caught up in something again. He caught me off guard because this is the first relationship for it to happen to me but hoepfully now i will now be player free for good... now i have lived and learnt. I finally realised he is not worth me, i am worth so much more. He can live in his big shot world thinking he is making himself happy because in the long run he never will be as he is not true to himself. He'll keep grasping at what he 'thinks' makes him happy but he'll never get there. How can he ever be happy if he never experiences a real relationship and he is selfishly driven. The funny thing is i know i will have the last laugh on this.

sure we feel deeply. but if i am sad, i won't let it known.. if i were in his shoes, i will immediately disconnect myself from u...and start healing. but who ended d r'ship?

Leokitten i was in touch with him last week which is why i feel so empowered, i was worried about him going to bahrain (crazy i know i dont know why i was worried about HIM). I wanted to check he was happy which is insane, but that in itself helped me to see the light. It all clicked and i realised that here i am giving my all because i care about people and he didnt deserve it. And that is because i am so much more of a person than he ever will be.

stringsattached my virgo was a bit of strange one because he didnt give it his all. He just gave up when the relationship was at its best (or so i thought) because he's incapable of having a real relationship. BUT i have severed all chords now and whilst i think he may be under the illusion i will reinstate contact in the future it will never happen. I dont need to look back now because im looking forward and i actually feel so much more empowered and determined than i ever did before, it's a great feeling. I think because at the end i felt so worthless and he had reduced me to this person i didnt recognise it's made want to do even better for myself. He may never know what happens to me.

It depends on how much a virgo cares about the person really -- if theyh never cared that much, they can walk away without a problem. But if they actaully felt something, then ending a relationship can be hard on them too I suppose.

"He just gave up when the relationship was at its best (or so i thought) because he's incapable of having a real relationship."


I don't know if I agree with that statement, Rescueme.

You thought it was a real relationship, in which you later found out that he it wasn't one from his perspective. It was from yours, though.

Because your belief of the emotional terms of the relationship was different from his, doesn't really equal .. "the relationship was at its best" .. this at it's best was only considered from one side = yours.

It wasn't at his best, because if it was, he'd still be in it.

So, to say ... "because he's incapable of having a real relationship." ... is actually something you don't know to be true.

This was all about a man who led you on, and who had no real interest in a serious relationship with you, though this is what you thought. In him playing you like that is not any indication of what he's capable of in a relationship with somebody else.

He could be perfectly capable of a real relationship with his Mrs. Right .. you really don't know that to make this assumption, based purly off of him not loving you the way you loved him.

And yet, I still view what he did to you as being a Player.

Which rises a valid question in my mind.

Is it true that once a fool, always a fool?

Can a Player be real?

Will the theif always steal?

How about the cheater? Once a cheater, always a cheater?


I suppose to think those things in a forever mind-set of one's proven character is a pretty narrow judgement call, isn't it? For it is in essence saying that a person isn't capable of self-growth.

p-angel im not sure whether you're trying to imply i am a fool and will always be a fool? As ive said before if someone acts like they are head over heels in love with you, whisks you off your feet and says and does all the right things does that really make me a fool for believing it? As weve discussed you learn from your mistakes and i shall be a lot more wary in future. I hardly think i am a fool for falling for it given that i was led to believe he felt this huge emotion for me until the end, whether he did or didnt is beside the point. By his displays of affection i was led to believe so. I shall be a lot more wary in future, i know what to look for now.

Also what i said about him being incapable of having a proper relationship may be a bit of a generalisation BUT if he continues in the same vain he currently is then i see it as highly unlikely. He is 26 and i am his first proper relationship (girlfriend). Before me he only saw girls for a month or so, our relationship only worked i now believe because it was long distance and he could control that. Given all this evidence it really will take a lot of change and loss of selfishness on his part to enable him to fully give in a relationship. Whatever anyone says i truely believe he did believe he loved me at one point but he didnt realise why he was able to love me, even now i doubt he understands it was becaue of the control factor and distance. I am as far as he has ever got in relationship terms (length and commitment wise) and everyone always told me when we were together he was batting above his game with me anyway (even his own friends!).

No Rescueme, I wasn't making reference to you being a fool, or at least any more than the rest of us, if we once were.

It was making reference about growth, and if we really do it, or if we are forever what we once were.

It was stemmed from the contridicition of my posts in here. One side of me would say he's a Player, the other would say we cannot actually say he is incapable of having a real relationship based off of this one.

I don't know Rescueme .. a lot of Virgo men are very, very picky about what qualities Mrs. Right will have. 26 really isn't that old.

If he continues down the same vain, then perhaps what you said would be true .. but, that references what my other post was inferring.

Do people not change?

We have all these life-experiences to teach us things, so we can evolve and grow to become better, or just different people. We learn all kinds of stuff about ourselves along the way, don't we?

So, isn't it a narrow judgement call for a person to say that another will never be anything more than today?

You never know what lesson was in store for him to experience just being with you, for example ... it's possible that the only purpose of you two being together was for him to learn about love, so he can be ready for when he meets Mrs. Right .. you just never know these things.

Just as there is a perfect person for you out there .. there is a perfect one for him also. And every person loves people differently. How you will love your next man will be different from how you loved him, and his next love will be different also .....

... because with every life experience we have, our reality changes, because we learned something.

Of all the relationships I've had, ones where I walked away it was relatively easy break for me and I was over the hurt feelings very quickly; no matter how I had felt for her during the relationship. I had already analyzed the relationship and resolved the emotional issues so the outcome was already decided. The relationships that were ended by the the women is a very different matter, I struggled a long time to heal from those breakups and the one that held my heart the most has taken me over a year to heal from.

Just because we don't show emotions does not mean we don't feel, alot of times our emotions are hid behind the armor to keep from getting hurt, and times its like the ocean you dont know how deep it is till you jump in.

virgogotme i been posting the story through the forum for a few weeks. It's a bit of a strange one (or it was to me). From my perspective the break up was totally out of the blue. We got togethr last september/october when we both lived in the same city (having known each other through a friend for a while). Virguy moved to london in january through work but we maintaiend a long ditance relationship. The relationship was amazing we were both head over heels in love with each other, every moment we spent together was bliss and we never argued. For me this was it, he was 'the one' and he led me to believe he felt the same way. Im quite witheld with my feelings and it was him who told me he thought i was 'the one' him who talked about our future together and kids and he was always pursuasive of me moving to london, and from april i had been planning on moving down. Not to move in with him but as i was lookign for a new job anyway and i have friends there too it made sense. All carried on perfectly then in July i had a job interview which i went down for. The week after virguy and i didnt see each other for 3 weeks because it was long distance and because he went on holiday to see his family in ireland and took two friends along. When he came back he had been strange on the phone all week so when i saw him i said, "you dont want me to move do london do you?". He said if im honest no i dont, im worried you are only moving there for me, im really stressed at the moment with work etc etc, my head is all screwey i just need some time to think. I was so upset at this coming totally out of the blue and unfortunately let my feelings get the better of me. He ended up saying "look im not sure i can be your boyfriend right now, im not sure what the outcome of this will be". Anyway i said take as much time as you need to think things through but i found it really hard becausei had so many things going round my head, by the time the next weekend came round i was at breaking point. He had texted and said hed call but he didnt. I was so hurt by this bheaviour from a guy who before his vacation had been head over heels in love with me i couldnt work out what had changed. I called him and when we spoke he said his head was still all screwey but he wouldnt elaborate. I was devastated.

I went out with my girlfriends that evening and because of listening to some bad advice when i was upset i emaield him the next day saying that i dont want to be with a guy who's not a hundred percent sure he wants to be with me. I said he should call me to clear the air. Then i dont hear from him for two days, he said hed call but he didnt, then he texted me to say he's not sure how he feels and he's really sorry for putting me through this and hell call the next day. When he eventually did call i was so hurt and upset at his total igorance that i did let rip a bit down the phone. I said that our relationship would never work anyway because i didnt trust him and i couldnt even trust him to call me. He just sounded really dejected said hed been having stress headaches and hadnt been at work and that he didnt expect that to be the outcome but it ws the right decision. I then said to him i didnt realise how stressed hed been and im really sorry i didnt want to split up and he just said it was for the best. We met up in person on the saturday and he just said i wouldnt have been happy in london and it was for the best he couldnt make me happy and he thought it was better to end things while it was good. Then no conatact for a few weeks, i was in trauma, a few weeks passed and we exchanged a few texts and then i sent him a really long email explaingin how i feel about him and apologising for how i behaved and not trusting him. I said that he needs to let me know how hes feeling so i can move on in whatever direction i need to, because at the time i was not moving anywhere, i was a broken person. We then met up the other friday to talk about the email and he tells me he's moving to Bahrain! He said that when he got offered the position he knew hed made the right decision about us because our lives were headed in two different directions. I have accepted this now but i must say to me, having never been through anything like this before it seems crazy that a guy can be head over heels in love with you one minute to nothing. I have had a lot of good advice from people on here about that. It was the last conversation i had with him where the black and white bit comes in. I said to him are you sad that its over, do you not miss us and he said i dont see things like that to me its black and white our lives were headed in two different directions. I asked him why he told me i was 'the one' and he said that that was because he felt it when he said it.

"quote"and how do you know he was "head over heels in love" men dont say butter like that. women do. "quote"

I do/did.

ok i correct myself he didnt say "head over heels" but he did say "im in love with you, ive never said that to anyone before". It took him long enough to say that aswell. We'd been with each other since last sept/oct had been on vacation in may, he only said that in the June! Even though i had myself felt that way for a very long time i hadnt said i loved him until he said it. Maybe he freaked himself out i dont know, he's a very closed person. Anyway im done with analysing why it ended, it did. What i was intrigued about was the fact that he can see things so 'black and white' now considering when we spent so many amazing times together and the depth of feeling (i thought) that we shared. I dont understand how it is possible to turn emotions off like that. Even from the perspective of a friend, surely he must miss sharing things with me as a friend im not that atroscious lol!

yes i was desperate leokitten. As i have said repeatedly in this forum i will try my hardest not make that mistake again, ill be more wary. I was in love with him and he had led me to believe he was in love with me im sorry i didnt give up so easily. I know it's not pretty to chase someone but with that amount of emotion even the best of us become weak.

Thinking back to relationships where i have ended things i think the reason this was different was that in those relationships the guy would have seen it coming by the things id been saying and how id been acting. In this situation i did not see his change of heart occuring at all which is why it was so devastating. He just went away on vacation came back then boom (well from where i was sitting)! So that is why the black and white thing confuses me especially when he said we should split while it's still good. I just think he must be super human to turn his emotions off like that. He had obviously seen it coming yes but what a guy to quit while ahead, most people let things turn sour before they give up.

fumingli_scorp,

I have said that statement to 3 women in my life, I married the second woman I said it to. Divorced her 5 years later though 😉 and yes I said it to the aries-girl, It turned out very badly, she handed my heart back on a platter cut into tiny little pieces; and I have been trying to recover from those wounds for the past year.

This Virgo doesn't give his heart away easly but when so when I do it is a 100% all or nothing endevor and i will make sure that the woman understands my emotions and feeligs.

What i was intrigued about was the fact that he can see things so 'black and white' now considering when we spent so many amazing times together and the depth of feeling (i thought) that we shared. I dont understand how it is possible to turn emotions off like that. Even from the perspective of a friend, surely he must miss sharing things with me as a friend im not that atroscious lol!



You're not atroscious ... but, you are very emotional, and that may seem atroscious to a Virgo who are usually appalled by a woman who's emotions are overwhelming, because then the female becomes smothering.

The thing here is what you have in quotes (i thought). Because you "thought" from your end, that he was head-over-heels in love with you, naturally, being a female, you would project onto him an abundance of feelings. And I remember when he got back from his trip, and was a tad stand-off-ish with you, you said that you bombarded him with messages of feelings because you were upset. Now, I'm saying that you fucked up here, because any woman would be in emotional distress if this happened to her.

But, the fact is, judgeing by his actions .. he was never in love with you Rescueme, however, you were behaving within the relationship as if he was, because this is what he led you to believe. Or, maybe he didn't led you there, maybe it was just a hopeful love-blindless.

It's doesn't really matter why or how or who did what or who was at fault ... what matters is that you now know that trying to love this man brings you pain. And love isn't suppose to be painful, it's not suppose to cause emotional distress to you.

I just want you to realize this though, what I said above, because you are still trying to understand how he could just turn off the switch, even if just friends with you .... and the thing is, he isn't even your friend .. that's how he can do it.

In order for a switch to be turned .. there first has to be a switch.

true p-angel and i know that now, i have started to see things in the relationship which werent so healthy. One thing i would like to clarify though (just to save face really and because it's the truth) is that i really am not a clingy emotional woman. I admit i became that at the end but during the actual relationship i was always the one who was standoffish with him. I find it very hard to tell people how im feeling in a slushy mushy sense. Initially it was me who told him i wasnt sure about getting into a relationship when he asked, then in january i said i dont know whether i want to get into a long distance relationship (because id been in a four and a half year one before). Around the same time he said "so are we official now?" and i backed away. I was the one who freaked out and said lets give it a few more weeks because i was unsure about doing a distance thing. He was trying to convince me to move to london (yes maybe not in his actions but in his words). When i went to visit in january he said he's going to show me what a great city it is and change my mind as id not acted particularly impressed. When he did change my mind and i said im not sure if im moving fo the right reasons he said "obviously i dont want you to move for me but to me your the one, i like to think we'll move in together in a couple of years". So it was him pushing the relationship forward until the end (or saying the right things to make me believe so). So my point here is, if he did'nt ever love me (and maybe he didnt) he certainly is a very good bullsh**er. Because of that i am so scared about entering into a relationship in the future now, if one guy can deceive me so completly how can i be sure in the future, im terrifed. Maybe he was just enjoying the chase and when he was fully confident of my true feelings for him it just was'nt fun anymore. Anyway..... i realise i am sat here analysing it again aren't i..

I was pure and simple treetrunked - i know 😉

It never takes more than a few seconds for me to get over a relationship.
And I don't care after it's done either, I just move forward.

bijou thanks for your comments sweety. Im not sure what changed to be honest, ive learnt now i think he was a bit of a committment phobe i.e. likes the chase and pulls back when he starts feeling he is winning and im starting to question whether i have committment issues too. Looking at the relationship now from a different light it is really strange to see how i behaved. When we first got together i had a bad gut feeling but maybe i carried on seeing him because he played a good game i dont know, at the start i told him i didnt want anything serious, by january he knew my feelings had changed though. I liked him because he wasnt clingy like other guys i dated and i liked that and he's very independent and likeable which i also liked. He took me on a few VERY romantic dates and managed to win my heart, i did fall in love with him because i felt like we clicked in what we wanted out of life. i.e. in terms of morals, families religion etc. These are things that are probably the most important to me in a guy.. so i fell in love with him because i never met a guy who (i thought) had such good prinicpals before. Now as p-angel rightly pointed out it's all very well saying these things but maybe i should have looked at his actions. So i guess i felt strong feelings from him since december but i didnt let him know and i felt scared that it was possible to feel so much for someone which made me even more reserved. He on the other hand was throwing around all these bold statements about kids, moving in together, when you meet my family, id love to get married in such and such a place, i think you're the one etc etc, the whole time i didnt respond to any of this or if i did it was reserved, but secretly i was melting.

The reason now i can see everything so clearer in hindsight i think p-angel hit the nail on the head when she said "his actions didnt match what he was saying". He was saying all this wonderful stuff, he was very romantic when we were together but he didnt always call when he said he would or if at all and if im honest he turned me into a jealous person (when im not normally/. Although i wouldnt call it flirting exactly, when we went out he got on very well with any female in the room, he is a complete charmer which is why everyone loves him. I guess these things (amongst others) made me worry deep down so i was scared to let him know how i truly felt about him as i felt like he should work harder to win my affection..

.. i know it sounds bad which is why only now it is over i realise HOW unhealthy our relationship actually was. I was seeing things through rose tinted glasses at the time. On the surface it was wonderful yes and we spent some truely amazing times togethr but if you look at the feeling and how he made me feel (even if part of this was love) it wasnt good. My best friend even said to me "ive never seen you like this before i know you love each other but ive never seen you so paranoid when you dont hear from a guy, you're not normally bothered". At the time i passed this off as the fact that id never been soo in love with a guy before and that as why i had never worried so much, looking back now if the relationship was healthy i wouldnt have been paranoid at all (paranoia = lack of trust). His elusiveness in between when we were together led me to have this uncomfortable feeling but it seemed to all wash away as soon as he did call me.

Don't "FALL" in love - GROW with love. Blossom into love.


I like that ^^^ bijou, can I steal it? Or, borrow it?

"I believe that you did fall in love with him & what is hard for you now to deal with is understanding that a part of you *knew* on some level that (as you said) his actions and his words did not match up. Perhaps what is really bothering you is that your instincts were dead on, but you did not know what they were telling you. You now fear getting involved with someone else until you can learn how to listen to your inner self and know what it means."

bijou ^^^^ that is exactly right, that's why im angry at myself. Deep down (particularly at the beginning) i knew there was something not quite right but i got lost in my feelings instead of listening to my instincts. So maybe the lesson here is that in future i need to trust and go with my instincts sooner on. I doubted my own instincts in this situation and let myself fall for a fairytale that wasnt true. If i had listened at the beginning there was a big red flashing warning sign!

I believe that everything happens for a reason and i know that i can grow from this experience and look for REAL love. I am actually a very loving person when im allowed to be i think virguy just restricted the lovingness!

I've been talking to a Virguy, and I'm beginning to think they know exactly what words to say that You WANT to hear. Even despite the fact they might know its 'wrong' or deceiving.
Are they just people pleasers?

I just finished reading all of this which prompted me to make another thread in regards to "my situation" at hand.

Do Virgo's feel when a relationship ends..........IMO

Yes, did they ever begin? engage? Or did they just "play" at their leisure because it was allowed?

They feel, they are human, male, female like us all looking for that "spark" or "emotion" or "feeling" that they have not felt before or "since that time..."
they feel, but do they keep it "real"?

I have to say knowing what ive recently learnt about my situation I dont think virgos feel when a relationship ends. I recently found out my virguy is most probably now dating a girl at his work who i was concerned about him being close to (which is amusing considering he is moving to bahrain soon so im sure that relationship will go far). Im not a hundred percent sure if there was overlap with our relationship (although i suspect there was certainly overlap on the flirting front). He was the one in the wrong yet he strung me along with no care for my feelings and how painful it was for me to not have a clear idea of the status of our relationship. Very cruel when i am a good person and had only ever been there for him, i didnt deserve that. He felt nothing, not one ounce of feeling for me. The only feeling i suspect he may have felt given a recent action on his part is the feeling of guilt and even that he did not show to me.

Having experienced his feelings of apparant love (so he said) for me, i dont think they keep it real i think a lot of it is fantasy..but, that is based on my experience i dont know about other virgos.

"Do I continue to engage in this psuedo-relationship or do I just be honest with her even though I don't want to hurt her feelings?"

Or in my case "do i just ignore her until she gets so exasperated that she splits up with me and then i can let her worry about me for months thinking i have depression when actually i am just selfish and havent got the guts to draw the line properly". And boy did my virguy's fantasy-land communications go too far i only recenlty realised how brainwashed i was!!

_ think he will come back , and u must prepare urself for that day , cause it seems to be difficult for u to get out of him , cause love never fades away , he will again play with his words straight to ur heart .dont let him do that and dont say bye bye , just make him tell why he acts like that , why he did all the stuff , was he really plying , he must tell u all these . u have to know .but dont let him tell u all sweet things he used to.

lbr he cant come back if he wanted too and i wont allow him the satisfaction to do that. He has no way of contacting me except if he still has my phone number and i wouldnt answer if he did try to call.

theskys maybe you are right because when we split i asked him why he said all this 'mental' stuff about me being the one etc etc and he said, i meant it at the time i guess i just didnt think it through. And he is currently dating some new girl and putting her through the same no doubt. He is a player with a capital P.

Most virgos hide their emotions.
I dont know why.