Do Virgos Have Consciences? (Page 2)

Hi ScorpGal5

Nooo?..I am not giving up?never?Hehe.

Thank you for "still" remembering me, yes.. I am still around and checking my favourite "Virgo board" as often as possible (how can I forget you guys)?!! I was and still am somehow busy with my work and some political stuff (historical studies) and posting those strange topics in several message boards across the internet taken up my free time as well, so I am sorry if I spend a little time here. But I am still around and "kick'en".

Glad to see that you are still around too, and thanks for the compliment!

🙂

VirgoSquared

Glad to see you join us in this board, everyone on this board are lovely, as you've figured by now, the majority of posts both "complains" and "insults" here, are on very unstable and highly emotional basis. Some are challenging and some are difficult to digest "logically". If you find some posts are insulting, relax and don't take it personally? People gets hurt in their relation with the Virgo's and this is the safe place to share their anger and questions to find the way out!

Welcome aboard..!

🙂

Hi everybody!
just gone thorugh the postings of virgosquared & scorpgal. Strange as it may soound my memories went back to the worst relationship of my life. And my ex was a Scorpio!!!!
We met through yahoo messenger and hit it off instantly. But i started getting put off as he was super critical of lots of things about me..the character judgement stuff...impossible standards on "correct behavior". Plus sexually he was not good at all.Only concerned about himself. He never tried to know what makes me happy.Though I tried telling him. I told him several times how his behavior hurts.In response he would give me sweet kisses and promise to be careful.But nothing changed.All he would do apart form banging was to criticise.
But outside the bedroom his behavior was extrermely good. So I showed lots of understanding to him. Took tips from "Men are form Mars and Women from Venus" & a couple of self help books. But nothing worked.I felt i was going mad. So I took to meditation, Yoga and Music.That helped me to keep my cool.Now his banterings didn't have any effect on me! Sex was still not great, but I was still attracted to him.
But then one day he made a comment which blew my head. Boy did he get a verbal battering from me!!!!! He told me that he doesn't feel all that sexually excited with me. Whereas with his ex GF he would get excited by mere thought of her. I asked him if her thought still excites him. He said yes..... I asked then why did he leave her..or if he hasn't why he is with me? He said that he loves my full boobs and she has small ones. So in order to compensate for what she lacks, he comes to me. I was so pissed. I broke off with him then and there. He didn't give up!! Kept on calling me. He kept on asking me...."what went wrong"? Why are you not meeting me?...can't we be just friends? I said OK. He asked me out for a cup of coffee. And that meeting was such a torture for me. after each sentence he kept on asking me to go to his place for a good time.. he wanted to feel my boobs. I told him everything that i didn't like about him. He responded in a very patronising tone saying that it was all a big joke and he actually didn't mean all that! I said that no I am over with it. I practically ran out of that restuarant, took a cab and went home. He kept on calling me! I changed my phone number. left a message at the messenger instructing him not to ever try to meet me, otherwise i would take action! Three years has passed and he still leaves messages on the messneger.In the mean time i went through two beautiful relationships. Right now the focus of my attention is a young Virgo Man. Virgosquared knows about it and has given me very good tips.
What I want ot say is that apart form scorpions, the cancerians are the most emotional people. I am a typical cnacerian. But I have decided qutie early in life, what matters i going ot allow to get under my skin. And this would be possible by directing my rich emotional energies in creative endeavors. So I took to classical music and spiritualism. This relaly helps you a lot to get over emotional traume in a very realistic way. And during the MR Scorpio period..i required extra help. So I also added meditaion and Yoga in my daily routine. Believe me like scorpgal I am too full of emotions and can't hide them. But due to the creative and spiritual outlet that i have I am able to gain control of myself very quickly and move on.
And I have a scorpio nephew, who considers me his spiritual guru(teacher). He too confesses that creative & spiritual outlets prevents you to remain in a debilitating emotional state for long!
So Scorpgal find out what kinda creative outlet can make you happy and get your mind out of all the traume that you are going thorough. Belive me after a while the presence of the friend that you are talking about wouldn't bring the kind of emotional reaction from you that is bothering you so much. And when he sees you normal before him , he

Hi Looneybird,

Thanks for sharing your story. That must have been painful. I have actually been through something similar recently - but not with this situation! I was married for many years to a man who was not capable of expressing emotion and did not even like to feel it. Thus our sex life was awful. He once told me that having sex was kind of like taking a s**t - just a body function. I never got over that. He also tried to control my behavior by calling me names and being angry figuring that I would change to meet his expectations. Don't get me wrong - he was basically a decent man - a good provider etc - but there was a lot of problems.

What's the similarity? I took to outside interests to escape and find satisfaction in myself. Went back to school, got involved in music again. Eventually I got the courage to end the relationship - and while I felt badly for him the emotional toll was not large. I speak with him frequently (he is the father of my children) and feel very little.

The point to all this is that I have recently done this already. This new situation is very different. As my friend and I became closer - we filled emotional needs for each other. He needed someone to talk to who would listen and sympathize in a nonjudgmental way - I needed to be needed!

This worked until the relationship changed and became something sexual. We were so closely bonded emotionally already that I expected that to move into the bedroom. He had no intentions of bringing any of that there. So I felt betrayed - he felt pressured to supply something that he either did not want or wasn't able to.

I know that I need to take my mind of this with other things. I try. But this is two failures in a row for me. And some days I cannot honestly look at it any other way. Of course - today I have PMS so this is one of those days 😉 !!

Unfortunately we are both currently so sensitized to the situation that we read tons of stuff between the lines in every conversation. If it was possible for him to just ignore it when he picks up my pain - time could work it's magic. He has offered friendship, but expects me to call for it and then is hurt when I don't. Yet he doesn't call just for friendship anymore either...

This has become one of those challenges. I don't want to be needy - I have already been accused of that. I guess one question is that I don't really know if my friendship is really wanted now either. I can't help but feeling that I am being naive and wishing there was something there that isn't.

Tell me Qbone and VirgoSquared - how does a man truly feel about a woman's friendship. Does it feed your ego and thus make you feel good - or do you genuinely value the relationships? Can YOU have a friendship after so much has gone on? Qbone - I think you have already stated in previous posts that you have managed to maintain a good relationship with your 'ex' but do you still feel bonded in any way or was it necessary to remove those emotional ties?

ScorpGal

Dear ScorpGal5

I don't know what you mean about man's feeling; there is a world of difference between man and "male".

Males are traditionally obsessed by the power of domination both "mentally and physically" and females are just there to obey and pleased his ego and needs..! And unfortunately there is a lot of these are around in any culture and religions!

But..!!

Man (male and females alike "believe me") are far more intelligent and friendly?. More humans "like" than the species above.

Some of the characteristic signs of the MAN are; they learn to accept and swallow the hardest facts in their lives without resistance. They learn to be honest with themselves. They accept the "true logic" and never fight against something they don't understand it fully! They know who they are!

I can't give you any example because we all are different and act differently, but the most important is: "generally speaking".

When you start to know yourself and accept who you are then you gain internal strength and start to become more confidence for your future. It's all I can say?. Find yourself and accept who you are "not who you suppose to be".

Cheers
🙂

Thank you for your response QBone. I was using the term 'man' in the sense that I do believe men and women are somewhat different in their outlooks. And I was trying to stay away from the 'star signs' generalizations. And there is a bit of 'male' in each 'man' is there not!?

I am not so much trying to be 'who I am supposed to be' as I would like to be cared about for the person I am. Do I want to change to please one person in particular? Of course not! That is not possible anyway.

But I am trying to understand one person so that I can find out if we can both get something that we need from the relationship while maintaining our own personal boundaries. That person is very hard to understand - I have seen two very different sides (at least) and I am trying to reconcile this. I am much too close to the situation to be objective - that is why I turn to others for their opinions.

ScorpGal

ScorpGal5

About my situation..!!

Of course me and my ex. are friends, as I've mention it before; I've being even invited to her new wedding next year.

We had what we "had".. No big deal honestly.. It's like when you loose your beloved in accident?. Now tell me.. For how long you dress like widows and grief over something that you can never get back..??

Think again?.there are situations in life that really challenge your personality and your spirit, if you show weakness and be fooled by their tricks, then you gain nothing but more grief and more sadness for the rest of your remaining life.

Keep your spirit up and do not trade your feelings for someone that is always will be "emotionally" unavailable to you "particularly you".

If this guy as (you've described him before) was really interested in your intimate relationship we wouldn't have this discussion now, would we..??

My point is: do not try to find a reason to explain this situation to yourself; you are a danger to yourself at this stage if you do that. Please learn the fact that you are great, beautiful, intelligent, and there is nothing wrong with you.

In my humble opinion he wants a play ground and at the end he kicks you out, and when you complain he will blaming you for your persistence. I have seen at least 10 times of this kind of scenarios before, in fact more males were involved than females.
🙂

Hello ScorpioGal5,
and everyone else for that matter.

You asked, "How does a man truly feel about a woman's friendship. Does it feed your ego and thus make you feel good - or do you genuinely value the relationships?

Personally, I think genuine friendship is genuine friendship, irrespective of the gender of the parties involved. Of course the operative words here are "genuine friendship." If the guy is simply hanging around just to get laid or to feed his ego, (Can I get an amen from Sagittarius, Leo, and Aries' males 🙂 ) by the very nature of his intent, it can't be considered a true friendship.

Now, since this is a Virgo site, I'm assuming one of the party's in this hypothetical friendship is a Virgo, and because of that, I can envision a potential complication that may unintentionally arise simply from the typical Virgo's nature. I need to stress I'm basing this extrapolation on myself (can't speak for every Virgo), being a double Virgo. I know it's not applicable to every Virgo. Just take it as a window into some of us.

For me to find a person I consider a true friend, the chasm of trust has to be overcome. To feel secure and comfortable enough with another human to open up about what I'm truly feeling is exceptionally rare. So rare in fact, I don't think I've ever met anyone in person like that. This is something I really dislike about myself, because it's possible there may have been someone I've come across that given half a chance would've succeeded. It's isolating. Loneliness becomes a Grizzly. The fierce cow, hell bent on thrashing about this modest residence. It's interesting to note, to give a little perspective on how neurotic I am about this. I would never, ever, admit something like this to someone face to face. Truth be told, it doesn't even feel quite right dripping it out here despite our costumes and distance. I think it has to do with revealing a need or . . . I don't know. It feels somewhat pathetic to convey. I'm seeing the image of a puppy or the plush teddy bears with the "hug me" sign in the shape of a heart on the right side of their chest and the needy outstretched arms. I'm uncomfortable with the role.

I whine that to stress the importance of trust if there's ever to be friendship or something more. The catch here is in a relationship with a Virgo, the key phrase is likely to be friends first. So when this condition is met, in a genuine friendship with a member of the opposite sex, the main hurdle to that extra step past friendship has already been met. I can imagine for an emotionally contained person to be tipped over, that new dynamic could be somewhat intoxicating. It's easy for the unsuspecting Virgo to unintentionally fall for that other person. So to answer your question, yeah, a man can genuinely cherish a woman's friendship and at same time feel good about it. The two aren't mutually exclusive, which with a Virgo, could actually be the rub. If he considers you a friend, he obviously respects you, he obviously trust you; if there's an attraction, which is quite possible just because the female was able to get pass his barriers. A presumed connection in itself can breed an attraction. She's unwittingly already met his requirements for a "more than friend" friend. If the female wants to remain platonic, there's friction. Maybe even enough to end the friendship all together, sending both crashing back to "Go." It's like you draw the card, "Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars" (Monopoly reference). Thinking about it, that actually kind of sucks. Fortunately, we're quite mentally stable, so breaking ties could hopefully be avoided.

I hope in an "Around the World in 80 Days" way this addressed the question.

VirgoSquared

Hello ScorpioGal5,
and everyone else for that matter.

You asked, "How does a man truly feel about a woman's friendship. Does it feed your ego and thus make you feel good - or do you genuinely value the relationships?

Personally, I think genuine friendship is genuine friendship, irrespective of the gender of the parties involved. Of course the operative words here are "genuine friendship." If the guy is simply hanging around just to get laid or to feed his ego, (Can I get an amen from Sagittarius, Leo, and Aries' males 🙂 ) by the very nature of his intent, it can't be considered a true friendship.

Now, since this is a Virgo site, I'm assuming one of the party's in this hypothetical friendship is a Virgo, and because of that, I can envision a potential complication that may unintentionally arise simply from the typical Virgo's nature. I need to stress I'm basing this extrapolation on myself (can't speak for every Virgo), being a double Virgo. I know it's not applicable to every Virgo. Just take it as a window into some of us.

For me to find a person I consider a true friend, the chasm of trust has to be overcome. To feel secure and comfortable enough with another human to open up about what I'm truly feeling is exceptionally rare. So rare in fact, I don't think I've ever met anyone in person like that. This is something I really dislike about myself, because it's possible there may have been someone I've come across that given half a chance would've succeeded. It's isolating. Loneliness becomes a Grizzly. The fierce cow, hell bent on thrashing about this modest residence. It's interesting to note, to give a little perspective on how neurotic I am about this. I would never, ever, admit something like this to someone face to face. Truth be told, it doesn't even feel quite right dripping it out here despite our costumes and distance. I think it has to do with revealing a need or . . . I don't know. It feels somewhat pathetic to convey. I'm seeing the image of a puppy or the plush teddy bears with the "hug me" sign in the shape of a heart on the right side of their chest and the needy outstretched arms. I'm uncomfortable with the role.

I whine that to stress the importance of trust if there's ever to be friendship or something more. The catch here is in a relationship with a Virgo, the key phrase is likely to be friends first. So when this condition is met, in a genuine friendship with a member of the opposite sex, the main hurdle to that extra step past friendship has already been met. I can imagine for an emotionally contained person to be tipped over, that new dynamic could be somewhat intoxicating. It's easy for the unsuspecting Virgo to unintentionally fall for that other person. So to answer your question, yeah, a man can genuinely cherish a woman's friendship and at same time feel good about it. The two aren't mutually exclusive, which with a Virgo, could actually be the rub. If he considers you a friend, he obviously respects you, he obviously trust you; if there's an attraction, which is quite possible just because the female was able to get pass his barriers. A presumed connection in itself can breed an attraction. She's unwittingly already met his requirements for a "more than friend" friend. If the female wants to remain platonic, there's friction. Maybe even enough to end the friendship all together, sending both crashing back to "Go." It's like you draw the card, "Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars" (Monopoly reference). Thinking about it, that actually kind of sucks. Fortunately, we're quite mentally stable, so breaking ties could hopefully be avoided.

I hope in an "Around the World in 80 Days" way this addressed the question.

VirgoSquared

Hello ScorpioGal5,
and everyone else for that matter.

You asked, "How does a man truly feel about a woman's friendship. Does it feed your ego and thus make you feel good - or do you genuinely value the relationships?

Personally, I think genuine friendship is genuine friendship, irrespective of the gender of the parties involved. Of course the operative words here are "genuine friendship." If the guy is simply hanging around just to get laid or to feed his ego, (Can I get an amen from Sagittarius, Leo, and Aries' males 🙂 ) by the very nature of his intent, it can't be considered a true friendship.

Now, since this is a Virgo site, I'm assuming one of the party's in this hypothetical friendship is a Virgo, and because of that, I can envision a potential complication that may unintentionally arise simply from the typical Virgo's nature. I need to stress I'm basing this extrapolation on myself (can't speak for every Virgo), being a double Virgo. I know it's not applicable to every Virgo. Just take it as a window into some of us.

For me to find a person I consider a true friend, the chasm of trust has to be overcome. To feel secure and comfortable enough with another human to open up about what I'm truly feeling is exceptionally rare. So rare in fact, I don't think I've ever met anyone in person like that. This is something I really dislike about myself, because it's possible there may have been someone I've come across that given half a chance would've succeeded. It's isolating. Loneliness becomes a Grizzly. The fierce cow, hell bent on thrashing about this modest residence. It's interesting to note, to give a little perspective on how neurotic I am about this. I would never, ever, admit something like this to someone face to face. Truth be told, it doesn't even feel quite right dripping it out here despite our costumes and distance. I think it has to do with revealing a need or . . . I don't know. It feels somewhat pathetic to convey. I'm seeing the image of a puppy or the plush teddy bears with the "hug me" sign in the shape of a heart on the right side of their chest and the needy outstretched arms. I'm uncomfortable with the role.

I whine that to stress the importance of trust if there's ever to be friendship or something more. The catch here is in a relationship with a Virgo, the key phrase is likely to be friends first. So when this condition is met, in a genuine friendship with a member of the opposite sex, the main hurdle to that extra step past friendship has already been met. I can imagine for an emotionally contained person to be tipped over, that new dynamic could be somewhat intoxicating. It's easy for the unsuspecting Virgo to unintentionally fall for that other person. So to answer your question, yeah, a man can genuinely cherish a woman's friendship and at same time feel good about it. The two aren't mutually exclusive, which with a Virgo, could actually be the rub. If he considers you a friend, he obviously respects you, he obviously trust you; if there's an attraction, which is quite possible just because the female was able to get pass his barriers. A presumed connection in itself can breed an attraction. She's unwittingly already met his requirements for a "more than friend" friend. If the female wants to remain platonic, there's friction. Maybe even enough to end the friendship all together, sending both crashing back to "Go." It's like you draw the card, "Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars" (Monopoly reference). Thinking about it, that actually kind of sucks. Fortunately, we're quite mentally stable, so breaking ties could hopefully be avoided.

I hope in an "Around the World in 80 Days" way this addressed the question.

VirgoSquared

Hello ScorpioGal5,
and everyone else for that matter.

You asked, "How does a man truly feel about a woman's friendship. Does it feed your ego and thus make you feel good - or do you genuinely value the relationships?

Personally, I think genuine friendship is genuine friendship, irrespective of the gender of the parties involved. Of course the operative words here are "genuine friendship." If the guy is simply hanging around just to get laid or to feed his ego, (Can I get an amen from Sagittarius, Leo, and Aries' males 🙂 ) by the very nature of his intent, it can't be considered a true friendship.

Now, since this is a Virgo site, I'm assuming one of the party's in this hypothetical friendship is a Virgo, and because of that, I can envision a potential complication that may unintentionally arise simply from the typical Virgo's nature. I need to stress I'm basing this extrapolation on myself (can't speak for every Virgo), being a double Virgo. I know it's not applicable to every Virgo. Just take it as a window into some of us.

For me to find a person I consider a true friend, the chasm of trust has to be overcome. To feel secure and comfortable enough with another human to open up about what I'm truly feeling is exceptionally rare. So rare in fact, I don't think I've ever met anyone in person like that. This is something I really dislike about myself, because it's possible there may have been someone I've come across that given half a chance would've succeeded. It's isolating. Loneliness becomes a Grizzly. The fierce cow, hell bent on thrashing about this modest residence. It's interesting to note, to give a little perspective on how neurotic I am about this. I would never, ever, admit something like this to someone face to face. Truth be told, it doesn't even feel quite right dripping it out here despite our costumes and distance. I think it has to do with revealing a need or . . . I don't know. It feels somewhat pathetic to convey. I'm seeing the image of a puppy or the plush teddy bears with the "hug me" sign in the shape of a heart on the right side of their chest and the needy outstretched arms. I'm uncomfortable with the role.

I whine that to stress the importance of trust if there's ever to be friendship or something more. The catch here is in a relationship with a Virgo, the key phrase is likely to be friends first. So when this condition is met, in a genuine friendship with a member of the opposite sex, the main hurdle to that extra step past friendship has already been met. I can imagine for an emotionally contained person to be tipped over, that new dynamic could be somewhat intoxicating. It's easy for the unsuspecting Virgo to unintentionally fall for that other person. So to answer your question, yeah, a man can genuinely cherish a woman's friendship and at same time feel good about it. The two aren't mutually exclusive, which with a Virgo, could actually be the rub. If he considers you a friend, he obviously respects you, he obviously trust you; if there's an attraction, which is quite possible just because the female was able to get pass his barriers. A presumed connection in itself can breed an attraction. She's unwittingly already met his requirements for a "more than friend" friend. If the female wants to remain platonic, there's friction. Maybe even enough to end the friendship all together, sending both crashing back to "Go." It's like you draw the card, "Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars" (Monopoly reference). Thinking about it, that actually kind of sucks. Fortunately, we're quite mentally stable, so breaking ties could hopefully be avoided.

I hope in an "Around the World in 80 Days" way this addressed the question.

VirgoSquared

To Everyone:

Sorry about the redundancy. My computer got weird on me. Initially it didn't post, so I submitted again. Same thing happen, then it froze, and then everything posted at once.

Also, while I have the floor, thanks for the welcome Q-bone. I've been reading some of your post. You rock Man! And no, I don't take offense to anything said here. I actually enjoy the differing perspectives. For the post that apply, it's kind of like seeing myself through someone else's eyes. I really like this place. It's comfortable. I actually find myself looking forward to coming here.

Any way, again, sorry about the replication.

VirgoSquared

Hi Virgos & specially Non-Virgos!!!!!!!🙂
I have known many virgos in my life, but only as friends. Every single of them have trusted me with their emotions and secrets. Infact I always got the impression that virgos can't resist me. So how come i never got romantically involved with any of them till now?
well the reason being that either they were female virgos or married male virgos ha ha ha. Untill now...i ve ultimately met a single virgo and ... wish me luck!!
I am posting here reasons that why I dont stay annoyed with any virgos for long.....
1) Their trust in me warms me up to them.
2) Yes some of my female virgo friends have been nasty, but they have always made the move to comfort me. And I understood that the reason for nastiness was not because they were being mean or manipulative, but just that they didn't realise that they were hurting me. But on realising they were honest enough to take the responsibility and apologise!
Their honesty with themselves and acceptance towards their blunders have always touched me.
3) They are always trying to guide me to do my best and try to protect me from people who try to harm me. And no I am not talking about the nitpicking types. they do annoy me, but they too have softened their criticism once they realised that they would lose me.
Now isn't this the proof that how virgos can give you undying loyalty and comfort if they really treasure you?
4) Virgos are great cooks! both male & females!! They love feeding me as i love being fed!
5) They are a Pro in art of diplomacy, which i like to constantly master.
6) They keep their heads on their shoulders, how much ever inner trauma they are going through. Yes i agree they may not be comforting to those whom they are hurting....but I myself have experienced the opposite as i mentioned in my earlier point.
7) They do place importance to people according to their various needs. Each person they come across will be carefully scrutinised and will be given a certain definite place in their life. the rest can just come and go. I think this makes you know very clearly most of the time where do you stand with them.
Yes they do develop lots of problems managing their sexual relationships, as i am experincing myself. Though my Mr Virgo has given me a place as a special friend, he has me all confused about how far he would go in intimacy. I will keep you guys posted on that.
there are many more points but due to time constrian i will stop here.
And please the non-virgos with traumatic experience with virgos, i am not trying to be a smug virgo suppoter or trying to say that the virgos dont value you. They maybe valuing your friendship, but as soon as they reach a level of discomfort with you, which they cannot manage, they tend to get aloof. This is the indication of how deeply hurt or ashamed they are. they are most critical of themselves and they do punish themselves severely for hurting others.
Yes if you keep on pushing them to open up, they start what we say as "playing emotional games" which as i have witnessed are painful to bear.
See if you think that by being emotionally open you are being right, they feel the best thing to do when complications arise is, to deal with them alone and once they get control over themselves, they do bounce back. some of the virgos are very open....but then they are terribly caustic with their words, once they are emotionally disturbed.
There are those negative to the extreme virgos too. But then which sun sign doesn't have the negative types? They should be avoided.
from this site it seems to me that the virgos have caused maximum trauma to humanity....LOL.

Adendum
Please add this line ot the 7th point.
The Psychologists consider this trait as having high social skills. Ofcourse if they carry this too far, they should be made aware of this.

Hi loonyBird

Well... first of all welcome to this board...!

Then..

How nice of you to say something nice about Virgos for a change!!?it's really rare?THANK YOU..!!
🙂

Hello Qbone!
Thank You. I am new to dxpnet.com. Now I have had many virgo friends and I absolutely like them.Then I met this virgo guy who is single and I am besotted by him. Though we are great friends, he has me confused on the intimacy part. So i turned to googles search engine to figure out the virgo male psyche in romance and hit upon this site. You must have read some of my posts over here and on cancer board(i a cancerian).
Here I noticed the trauma of people who are in love with virgos. I felt I must give my perspective of virgos as friends..specially when they are in no strings(emotional) attached kind of friendship.
Now incase I get intimate with this virgo, i will experience the romantic side of a virgo. I do feel that it will be great since we already have a strong friendship base.
Ciao!🙂