Does it bother you when attention is craved—

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Angel1177 on Friday, September 8, 2006 and has 9 replies.

Profile picture of Angel1177
@Angel1177
19 YearsPisces

I am a Pisces and my boyfriend is a Virgo. We have been together for over a year. We love each other very much. Yes I am by far much more expressive but he shows me so much that its a balance between each other. We see each other often. At least 4-5 times a week. I stay with him on the weekends. I cant explain it though but I always want to be with him. I know he loves being with me too but he is a very productive man. He works alot,goes to the gym, and is studying for an exam he is taking in a few months. So I know he has alot on his plate. I understand it and I am very supportive, he tends to be very hard on himself. But I miss him alot when we are not together, we talk alot at work and we email all day. Obviously sometimes we cant because we get busy. Yesterday I wanted to talk to him but he was very busy at work and couldnt really talk, but I kept emailing and calling and he got annoyed. He said that he doesnt understand why I get like that when he spends all his time with me and does his best to please me. We were supposed to hang out today, just at his house while he studied but he asked if we could just see each other on Saturday because he needed to catch up on his reading.

I know he just needs to cool down and get over him being annoyed but it hurts when he pushes me away.

Is this something I should feel bad about or is this how Virgos are. Does it bother you guys when someone is too "needy"?

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

"Is this something I should feel bad about or is this how Virgos are. Does it bother you guys when someone is too "needy"?"

Is this a joke?

Yes, you should feel bad about it. He kindly asked you to give him space at work because he was busy, but, you just pestered him anyway. He needs to pass his exam and has asked you to give him some space to honor his obligations.

Now, you're blubbering about is this just the way a Virgo is?

It bothers EVERYBODY when someone is too needy and pesky !!!!!!

Profile picture of tazman
@tazman
19 YearsVirgo

Angel - Try and not read too much into what your guy's intention is. There can be a number of reasons why he is asking for some alone time, especially if he's catching up on his studies.

It's important for you to work with him to understand how you communicate the need for space. Because I think what hurt you more is not that he needs space, but rather how he communicated to you.

In most relationships, two people will invariably have different needs for alone time. Based on what you write, he is already adjusting and trying to accommodate your need for more together time than he wants. Understand that he is trying and that his latest reaction is not a reflection of how he feels about you or how much he values you.

We all have different ways of coping with stress. Most of my buddies who have a very active life find alone time an important way to rejuvenate.

Oh - just a note on email and VM courtesy, if a guy doesn't respond to your email or VM, he is probably busy or don't have the time to provide a good response. Please don't send/call more...it only creates a sense of urgency or emergency. If there is no true emergency, it is very annoying...just a tip.

Profile picture of Angel1177
@Angel1177
19 YearsPisces

Thank you, I totally needed to hear that.It's weird, I have never been this way. I was with a Sag for almost 8 years and I was the most laid back, care-free woman, I was very independent, I worked full time, went to school full time....

For some reason I have become very needy....

But it's something that needs to change!

Profile picture of Virguy62
@Virguy62
19 Years500+ Posts

WOw P-A! I have this serious online love/hate relationship with you! lol

Great advice though, thatr's how my ex-Pisces was. She NEVER had an issue with my alone time, and she sure never crowded me in any way.

Profile picture of Angel1177
@Angel1177
19 YearsPisces

Thank you Tazman...

You may be right P-angel, it is a childish thing to do, but I did it and I came here for feedback...

I have been reading the boards for almost a year now, I use to have an Angel33 account but I lost the password with my old email...

and tazman you hit it right on the nail, it wasnt what he said, but how he said it, sometimes our communication can be a little off when it comes to opposing views, but its something we work on...

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

It's smothering and I hate it when people do it to me. VG62, I never close in on my hubby like that. When he needs time, I only check in once in a while to see if he needs anything.

My moods are very intense, in whatever fashion they are being expressed. Nothing is half way, it's all the way, lol

Guess everyone knows that by now, huh?

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

"I have this serious online love/hate relationship with you"

My son feels the same way, only, not online.

He loves me because I tell him the truth, no matter how brutal.
He hates me because I tell him the truth, no matter how brutal.

lol

Profile picture of catfish36
@catfish36
20 Years500+ Posts

A1177,

Don't feel bad. It's a waste of time. Adjust and move on! As long as you acknowledge your behavior and learn to respect your partner's needs, you'll be fine.