Freaking out!

Ok so my bull and I decided not to see each other this week; because we've been distracting each other from our work. Which in the world of Virgo & Taurus just will NOT do. So it's been 2 days since we've seen each other (we've barely found time to talk or text) & last night he sends me a text saying: distraction or not I miss you. Naturally inside I thought this was the sweetest thing but I of course am not so good with expressing my emotions so I kind of brushed him off.
So he text me again this morning to say GM to which I did reply and I was just sitting here and it occurred to me that I really need to reciprocate some of these emotions so he knows that I'm interested. So I decided to send the following text:
"You know I instantly smile when I see a text or call from you. No matter the time, what you say or even if I don't respond, there I am grinning like an idiot...Craziness".
Now this may not seem like a lot, but this is essentially the equivalent of me pouring out my heart. So I'm sitting here regretting sending the text and almost instantaneously he responds "I love you too!!!" Ok so after I passed out I put some ice on my forehead and began my worry. What the H@ll am I supposed to say to that? I'm not equipped for all of this emotional honesty. Help?

Dude. You are exactly like me. Ha. It's scary. So, this is the first time he's ever expressed as though he loves you? How long have you two been a couple for? Normally I'm a very sarcastic person when it comes to showing my feelings. If I hadn't been with a guy for that long, I probably would have responded, "Woah, who said anything about love here, boiii. ??_." But seeming as though I can see your situation, I think you should respond with, "I can't wait to sex it up with you." That's what I would say if I was with a guy for a long time. Maybe I'm just weird, but every relationship I've been in, men seem to like my sarcastically detached self.

@Cluelesscancer nah guy my insecurities don't run that deep. I know I am very much worth love; I'm just not good at expressing my emotions to someone I care about. And I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to put ILU out there, that's taking a HUGE step and making a HUGE commitment. I'm just not sure I'm ready for it. In the same breath I don't want to respond with: Ummm thanks! lol

@Antonarnia (great name by the way) We've been seeing each other for a little over 6 months now. He's been randomly dropping the "L" bomb for the past 2 or so weeks. I've pretending like I don't hear it. My last response to it was: "WOW you're really putting all on the line aren't you" It's all I could come up with on short notice, it was either that or kick him in the shins and run! I'd like to respond a little more appropriately. I went to my own version of subtle sarcasm and responded simply "Ditto" His response "azzhole"

I think you are so nervous because you know he expects to hear a similar response back, if not the same. The expectation puts pressure on you as your response can effect him and possibly the relationship if its not what he wants to hear.

Go with what you feel always. I see his response smh. Im sure he is joking but goodness.

Posted by lnana04
I think you are so nervous because you know he expects to hear a similar response back, if not the same. The expectation puts pressure on you as your response can effect him and possibly the relationship if its not what he wants to hear.

Go with what you feel always. I see his response smh. Im sure he is joking but goodness.

You hit the nail square on the head. Yes I feel love for him but no I'm not at a point where I'm ready to say it back and everytime he says it it just feels like more pressure to say it back. I can't do that YET but I don't want things to change or worse end because of that nor do I want to just say it and not fully mean it just to keep the peace. I'm sure he's half joking and half serious...Its the half serious part the concerns me...D@mn Virgo emotional barriers!

Posted by neuroticvirgo

Posted by lnana04
I think you are so nervous because you know he expects to hear a similar response back, if not the same. The expectation puts pressure on you as your response can effect him and possibly the relationship if its not what he wants to hear.

Go with what you feel always. I see his response smh. Im sure he is joking but goodness.

You hit the nail square on the head. Yes I feel love for him but no I'm not at a point where I'm ready to say it back and everytime he says it it just feels like more pressure to say it back. I can't do that YET but I don't want things to change or worse end because of that nor do I want to just say it and not fully mean it just to keep the peace. I'm sure he's half joking and half serious...Its the half serious part the concerns me...D@mn Virgo emotional barriers!

click to expand

I think you are doing right by staying true to yourself. If you are not ready, you are not ready, and as a stubborn Taurus he of all people should understand not liking to be pressured or pushed into something. Im sure he has love for you too, but it does seem like a test or gauge of some sorts on his end. Just keep with what you feel.

Hmmz, six months is usually when I realize the love I have for a significant other, and am able to express it with somewhat ease. [not intentionally]. Are you really that into him though? What's holding you back from saying it?

PS. Thank youz for the name compliment. _.

"Im sure he has love for you too, but it does seem like a test or gauge of some sorts on his end."

I actually completely agree with this. To me i feel like he's on the precipice of loving me (which is right about where we should be) and he's fishing to make sure I love him 1st before he steps off the ledge. It's actually the same thing I would do so I completely understand, I wouldn't and don't want to love someone before knowing for sure that they love me first. So we're both standing on the ledge waiting for the other person to jump first. (A love standoff if you will) Battle of stubborness & wills between a Virgo & a Taurus. I'm intrigued!

I think he's beat you to jumping off the ledge.. He's dropped the L randomly for the past few months, and you havn't given it attention. Now it's your turn to jump, that's if you really want to.

@antonarnia that's the thing emotionally I'm crazy about this guy; but logically my mind is telling me to keep the pace SLOW. Partially from past experiences and partially from the reputation Taureans have in relationships. Add to that that I'm a Virgo (i.e. emotional robot) who was raised by a Scorpio mom and Virgo dad (i.e. Robot parents) and you get a recipe for an emotionally stunted woman...

Sometimes I wish I could express all the emotions I feel for him to him but I guess I'm just not that evolved yet. I'm working on it though...

_. I get it girl. Keep being sweet to him when you feel it. Don't feel pressured. Because if you're not ready to say it, it's just going to come out weird. Tauraeans are so pushy. Ha.

Besides I say ILU with my actions, if I love you and you say you've been craving cake guess what I'm baking tonight? Cake! Why because I love you and I want to make you happy. Saying the actual words is a whole other Oprah!

Posted by neuroticvirgo
"Im sure he has love for you too, but it does seem like a test or gauge of some sorts on his end."

I actually completely agree with this. To me i feel like he's on the precipice of loving me (which is right about where we should be) and he's fishing to make sure I love him 1st before he steps off the ledge. It's actually the same thing I would do so I completely understand, I wouldn't and don't want to love someone before knowing for sure that they love me first. So we're both standing on the ledge waiting for the other person to jump first. (A love standoff if you will) Battle of stubborness & wills between a Virgo & a Taurus. I'm intrigued!

LoL. I completely understand this.

And its why when you feel comfortable enough to say it for the first time, Im sure it will mean so much more to him.

Aww you guys! *sniffles* the robot in me sometimes completely misses the sugary sweetness of these emotional moments. Which is why I always need time to analyze things. This whole thing is just so crazy because we both came into this thing saying no to relationships (he was just supposed to be my fun re-introduction into the world of dating) and we just can't seem to shake each other off. I guess I'm just having a hard time assimilating my mind to all of this. I want to sit back & enjoy it like a Cancer would (shout out to @cluelesscancer our resident hopeless romantic); I'm just more dissect and analyze. Then I end up kicking myself for not taking the time to absorb the awesomeness of moments like these...

Holy delayed reaction @sky1! 6 friggin years now that's a LONG time to not hear it back. Did he love her all that time and not say it? I don't think I will take that long. Sometimes I feel myself fighting my own verbal diarrhea (eww) because all I want to say is ILU, but somethings holding me back...dunno maybe it fear; its definitely not lack of love... bah humbug I hope I don't sabotage this thing.

@TMV & CC I was half-expecting P-Angel to drop in and tell me what a soulless monster with no concept of love I am...Is it safe to come out from behind my fortress of solitude?

Clueless deleted her post, but she said its rare for a Taurus to say I love you. I didnt know that.

If you feel it then dont hesitate because "then" you will have regrets. Id say only wait if you are not "there" yet.

Ithink you are safe neuro. Its only what you feel.

@lnana04 I didn't know that either; can someone with a Taurus background please confirm or deny this? And if they rarely say it, how do they react if you don't say it back?

Truthfully my fear is that I say it or even I say it back after he's said it and then like Ashton Kutcher comes out with cameras and everyone I've ever known and they all stand around me pointing and laughing with him right in the middle laughing the hardest. Then I look down and realize I'm also naked and seemed to have gained 100 pounds all in the worst places. Then it gets quiet and he's like uhh yea I don't love you...AWKWARD! Then the crowd roars with laughter and I'm forced to spend the rest of my days living in a cave from sheer embarrassment ala Osama Bin Laden. God that was super dramatic. But that's generally the fear, that even though he said it 1st when I say it back the rug will be pulled out from under me. I have to get over that fear before I can say it.

@tiziani; now do you see why I named myself "neuroticvirgo"? lol

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan

Posted by neuroticvirgo
@TMV & CC I was half-expecting P-Angel to drop in and tell me what a soulless monster with no concept of love I am...Is it safe to come out from behind my fortress of solitude?

Meh, do it anyways. We'll chase the Pisces monster away together with our logic.

click to expand

Viva la Vulcan!

Oh My! That IS dramatic neuro lol, but I understand. My Taurus friend would have me opening empty jewelry boxes all the time while he laughed. He'd just do that to see my reaction. For some reason they can make it hard for you to trust them. I think trust is probably where your fear stems from.

Posted by lnana04
Oh My! That IS dramatic neuro lol, but I understand. My Taurus friend would have me opening empty jewelry boxes all the time while he laughed. He'd just do that to see my reaction. For some reason they can make it hard for you to trust them. I think trust is probably where your fear stems from.

Haha too mean! Mine gets sarcastic and will try to say he's joking; then he follows that with asking me if I love him or telling me he knows I do. Then follows that up with saying it again. It may be funny to him and his way of protecting himself but it just triggers my trust issues that stemmed from "the leo".

@tiziani I definitely know who I am! I try to embrace the crazy since I can't seem to change it...lol

"I knew I was in his circle when he finally paid for dinner and we didn't go half/half... "

Lmao!! Unfortunately, this is basically the way to tell if you mean a bit more to them smh lol.

Posted by tiziani
Haha I know a Virgo just like that, fully embraces her crazy side. She's like my sister. I can never get enough of her. Always keeps me laughing.

Haha my sister (leo) says the same thing about me! She said the bull loves me such much because I'm hilariously insane.

@cc that's very interesting and kind of makes me feel better. Like maybe if he said, he actually means it. I'll ponder that notion for a bit and see if it sticks...

Posted by ellessque

Posted by lnana04
Clueless deleted her post, but she said its rare for a Taurus to say I love you. I didnt know that.

If you feel it then dont hesitate because "then" you will have regrets. Id say only wait if you are not "there" yet.

Ithink you are safe neuro. Its only what you feel.

LOL.

this is random and completely off topic.....(sorry OP!!! but I have to tell the story)

I went to lunch with the taur I work with. he's like a "work husband". We do lunch all the time and today it was his turn to treat me. He dropped me off after because he had work related errands to run.....when I went to get out of the car he said....."Have a great afternoon, and I love you!!!!!!!!!!"

I just looked at him funny (he's done this before and I usually give a icy stare) BUT THIS TIME....I said.....

I love you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we both giggled and I went back into the office.

priceless.

so, there you go. they say it.....I don't know if that is necessarily "the way" they express such things because it can get thrown around in a very loose and jokey manner.

click to expand

Please no apologies necessary I'm looking for stories and advice...the more the better.
My question is do you guys actually like each other in real life? Is something brewing here? If he's just saying ILU in a playful manner then that scares me. I guess our situations are kind of different but I'm taking everyones food for thought.

"use your gut, not your head. lol "

What's that like? lol

Hola Neurotic. My ex wife is a Taurus and we were married for 7 years and I could probably count the amount of times she said it on both hands, which is a verrrrrrrry little for that amount of time and Im a Cancer, so I was saying that sh*t alllll the time. She would tell me that she wasnt that affecionate and whatever, but I didnt get it at the time. Never knew this was a typical Taurus thing. Oh well. Thats over. By the way, just to let u know, My sun sign is Cancer and my moon is in Taurus. The Virgo Im stoopid about, her moon is in Cancer....and her sun Virgo of course. Anyway, follow your heart. The first feeling u get. Dont over analyze. The mind works for the heart. The heart knows what u want and what makes u happy. Damn, its gotta be tuff being a Virgo :-P. I have no choice but to verbally express my love for someone...in so many more ways than actually even using those 3 words. Thats like the easiest way. I get creative n sh*t.

In our case he seems to be the one making all the declarations. It's crazy because I forget that he can't read my mind so I'm always confused when he doesn't seem to know how much I like him. Sometimes I wish I could see myself through his eyes so I could have an idea of how I come off, because in my mind it's all right there. One look at me and you know that I'm totally crazy about this guy. I mean aren't I with you? Do I pick up the phone when you call? Do I smile like a 2 year old and look away when I see you? YES! Then how is not obvious that ILU? To me I feel like I'm walking around with a neon sign on my forehead that's blinking "I LOVE THE BULL!" so what I end up trying to hide my emotions even more thinking I'm doing too much never realizing I haven't actually said one word. It's not until I stop and think about it that I realize I only respond to his declarations of his feelings and sometimes I don't even do that. I have actually never once told this guy I like him without him saying it to me first. I don't mean to be that way I just think it's obvious that I like him so it never occurs to me to say it. Then I have a day like today where I put out some emotions and spend the rest of the day obsessing about it and analyzing his response for cracks and mistruths...It's all very tiring.

The mere concept of "follow your heart" and "your heart works for your mind" does not compute. I simply cannot understand that thinking. To me that's the sort of thinking that gets you hurt and makes you give too much of yourself to someone. I keep my heart and my mind away from each other, my heart is a TRUE TO FORM hopeless romantic and she will overlook flaws and red flags to achieve a scene from The Notebook in real life. No good can come from that. It may not seem like it but even dating this guy is sort of me following my heart. Because as soon as I realized just how much I like him, my mind said...RUN! (commitment issues) So i've been overriding that from day one. But I can only do so much so quickly. I want security yes; I'm just not so sure I trust my heart to provide me with logical security if that makes any sense...

Im not saying your wrong for feeling the way u do, I undetstand to a certain degree(and your obviously trying to figure yourself out and make it better which is a great), but at some point being "logical" or over analyzing everything wont leave opportunity for what could be. Im not saying thats your case at all, because u obviously love the guy, but it seems to me that u would miss out on so much by overthinking so much.

Posted by Joshmoe
Im not saying your wrong for feeling the way u do, I undetstand to a certain degree(and your obviously trying to figure yourself out and make it better which is a great), but at some point being "logical" or over analyzing everything wont leave opportunity for what could be. Im not saying thats your case at all, because u obviously love the guy, but it seems to me that u would miss out on so much by overthinking so much.

You're not wrong... but this is the only way I know how to be. I'm sure my relationship with the bull would be a lot further along if I weren't so self-contained emotionally...OR (and this is what I like to think) it's this perfect imperfection that makes me stand out to him amongst all the others and if I were any different he wouldn't be interested. I like to look at my neurosis as more glass half full...lol I'll just keep self-analyzing until hopefully one day I find a happy medium between logic & matters of the heart.

In the meantime I kinda hope to see the bull tonight! I'll never call though...smh so sad...lmao

Posted by neuroticvirgo
Besides I say ILU with my actions, if I love you and you say you've been craving cake guess what I'm baking tonight? Cake! Why because I love you and I want to make you happy. Saying the actual words is a whole other Oprah!

very virgo!

Awww you GUUYS! *kicks sand bashfully* I'm officially going to ATTEMPT to chill out (at least for tonight...lol)

"We will not see each other for 23 days, 7 hours and 52 minutes because we must prove how disciplined we are."

LMAO...it's funny cause it's true...We do it because he & I both know and accept that we are robots. It's kind of an ongoing joke. Earth has to stay grounded or we panic. I think we're both afraid that if we become too much of a distraction to each other then our robot side will kick in and make us leave the situation to regain our robot focus. This is all new for both of us; up until 2 months ago we both worked on travel so we only saw each on wknds and were always super busy. Now we're in the same city and all of a sudden he's opening up emotionally. We just need to keep a balance so we don't overdo it and ruin it. Ok enough of my yammering on...I've officially received too much attention today. Thx DXP/Virgo forum folks!

Fo shoooo. I wish u the best:-)

""You know I instantly smile when I see a text or call from you. No matter the time, what you say or even if I don't respond, there I am grinning like an idiot...Craziness".
Now this may not seem like a lot, but this is essentially the equivalent of me pouring out my heart. So I'm sitting here regretting sending the text and almost instantaneously he responds "I love you too!!!" Ok so after I passed out I put some ice on my forehead and began my worry. What the H@ll am I supposed to say to that? I'm not equipped for all of this emotional honesty. Help?"

Awww, so far I only read this first post, and he FELT what you expressed, and believe it or not that was your heart speaking. I'm a water sign, and picked right up on it. So you have emotions dear, and you have a delightful way of expressing it. Don't be so hard on yourself! He got it, just continue being you!! 🙂

Lmfao. I tried doing what Elle said about keeping distance/discipline... I've come to findout that it doesn't go over well with water signs lol. Thank goodness cus I wanna feel free to feel! My Cancer just pulls me in closer when I push away...

Weird ay..

Thanks @Letitbe! Well we technically we DID make it to the end of the week. We didn't get together until Friday morning...lol We are actually still together now but we're both working. I'm not ready to say the "L" word yet but if he can understand that I actually mean it then that's ok with me for now. I really like him waay too much...no good can come from this.