should i chase this virgo guy?

i'm a cancerian girl interested in a virgo guy. a few months ago he came out of a 6 year relationship with a scorpion. the split was mutual.
the first few times i met him he was intense and gave the impression that he saw me in his future. he said he felt as though he'd known me for ages and that we should hang out, no pressure, and see what happened. however, he was very uncommunicative in between our meetings, which were always casual i.e. in clubs where we were both going with friends.
he then cut off contact for a few weeks and i pushed the thought of him aside until he text me out of the blue one night apologising and claiming that he was an idiot. i gave him another chance because he was so genuine and sincere, and i understood that he had just come out of a long-term relationship and that it was probably too soon to get involved.
he was still distant, but i offered him a lot of patience and understanding. he would sometimes text me drunkenly and i began to wonder if i was just someone to contact when he was drunk/horny/lonely/in need of a confidence boost. then one night i ran in to him in a club where we were both out with friends. he wasn't giving me much attention and i'd had a lot to drink so i ended up throwing myself at him and urging him to stay when he had to leave. he said he'd call but he didn't, as i expected. i sent a text the next day apologising for my behaviour in a light-hearted, funny way but he didn't reply. although, he never seems to reply unless one is prompted by a specific question. he is so very elusive.
i see him every saturday now in the same club. the past few weeks we have either avoided each other or engaged in a brief but awkward conversation, which i am always the one to initiate because he is shy and i often sense that he can't bring himself to take the initiative. i also find that he stares a lot and tends to subtely gravitate in my general direction.
last night, we ended up chatting again and eventually kissing passionately. although he was receptive to my charms, i can't help but feel i was again making all the moves. and i wonder if he is only attracted to me physically because he still refuses to pursue me outside of the clubbing scene.
i don't know how to approach him on the matter without pressurising him and scaring him off for good. i don't know whether to continue chasing him, i fear that if i stop he'll asumme i've lost interest. but i need him to be more demonstrative.

Too soon (for him)to get serious again. And it's unfair to you too. He's distracted and there's nothing you can do about it.

Take it slow...for your sake...be a friend and keep your options open I'd say.

Men/Women on the "re-bound" usually feel this way...as though they'd known the new person they've met a long time...(not over the last breakup could cause this and they can't differentiate between the feelings they have for the new person vs the old) when in reality that person they've known for a long time is the "ex" and not you.

You need not make all the moves in any case with a Virgo man. If he wants you he wont go too far. Relationships in general should never be complicated...if it is...there is a reason.

you should never chase ANY man....if we want you, there won't be any need to chase us. And as a cancer, I'd advise you to use extreme caution on this one.........he'll probably be best as a really great friend that you can talk to but a relationship although in the beginning the flawless outward display can be tantalizing with virgos but the actual experience will more than likely fall short of the kind of love and romance that you are probably looking for...unless he is atypical.

ABSOLUTELY NOT. Never chase a guy ever. I did that once in my life, and, well, it didn't turn out good at all. Virgo guy or not, a guy will come to you if he likes you. So what he's shy. A real man will come to you. Anybody can be shy, but that shouldn't stop them from going after what they want. You deserve a man, not someone who isn't willing to take a risk.

Archer said: "you have done enough for him to let him know your interest, let him come to you now."

Yeah, I had a Virgo guy who I showed an interest in. Big mistake. However, when I told him goodbye in December, he took it really serious. I was really mad at him at the time when I said it. A few days later I felt bad and said I was sorry for being so mad at him. I haven't heard from yet which is just as well. Life works in mysterious ways.

True...never chase a man period especially in the early stage of your relationship.

Archer...I have a question for you...(you all please don't get mad as it sorta does not belong on this thread)...you sound smart so thought I'd get your input.

I've noticed I connect intellectually with saggitarius. I don't know my actual birth time (of day) but I'm Virgo...what could be causing this connection? I mean Sagg's and Virgo's are said not to be compatible.

Archer,

Just cursious about one thing. Since I said I was sorry about being pissed off with him and said goodbye, does a Virgo truely disappear then? Or do they suddenly pop up when you least expect it and have cooled off. It's been 3 months now but it's just interesting how serious he took me.

*curious

Archer,

I get ya. Thanks. I'll just let him be then. No use in trying to start again from zero. I told him goodbye in a text message because I was tired of the games. I think he shouldn't just give up like that but since it looks like he has then that's the way it's going to be.

Yeah, fishing can be fun. I had a Cap man ask me out 2 weeks ago but, at first, I thought he was joking. He wasn't. There is a bit of an age difference so I don't understand why he'd be interested in me. I'm 30 and he's 44 years old. Now he smiles and flirts with me.

Thanx Archer...

OMG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It's the same f*ing story over and over again......

yes, they want you, do they demonstrate it, communicate it, NO... NO... are they shy, yeah, i guess, except in some situations......

anyway, good luck, have fun on your rollercoaster ride with a VIRGO GUY.....

my advice -- read over all the posts and then you will realize you are not alone -- you are not special -- you are just under the EYES of a VIRGO.....

Mystical --- sorry, i don't get it ..... you don't understand why a 44 year old man would be interested in a 30 year old woman——??

Lindawin,

Well, I just think a 14 years difference between him and I is a lot. Don't you think? Whether he was serious I don't completely know, but I did say no. He laughed and then I realized he must be interested in me. He flirts with me and smiles. I just don't get it.

My god mystical...are you still hung up on that virgo dude from a year ago??

"He laughed and then I realized he must be interested in me. He flirts with me and smiles. I just don't get it."


He laughed, so that means he must be interested in you?

Sometimes, it takes ages for women to realize that even when they laugh, it is at you, not with you .. some only take a short period of time .. in the end, it's always the same .. heart-broken and alone .. Mystical, the only feelings inside a Virgo is sexually .. look at the men in here, they talk about thier sex life, they view their women in the physical form .. feelings don't exist unless it leads to getting laid.

Run .. while you still have your sanity.

Maybe so .. oh well, same still applies .. men suck no matter when they're born.

thank you all so much for your advice!
i haven't really chased him yet. when we were avoiding each other, i made the mistake of flirting with other guys in his view...hoping he'd sit up and realise that if he wanted to snap me up, he'd better do so before someone else did! if anything, i made him feel intimidated by the fact that i can pretty easily have someone else (although, whether he knows it or not, i am stuck on him and his god damn virgoan elusiveness and i'm not interested in anyone else)
now we're past the stage of avoiding each other like i said. but only because iiii decided it was stupid and approached him, plus from the way he was acting (always looking over at me, gravitating in my direction BUT NOT ACTUALLY FUCKING SAYING ANYTHING) i thought it made sense just to swallow my pride and be the bigger person. man, i make it too easy for him. maybe he's not actually THAT shy but i had to give him the benefit of the doubt. i am too nice to him.
he's definitely really attracted to me, physically. maybe he thinks that i'm a tease though, or maybe it really is just too soon for him to get involved with someone new. i long for when i first met him and he was so open with and affectionate towards me, although maybe he was just extra vulnerable from his recent break-up back then.
all i know is, a wise person once said, "no matter what the relationship is, never bother with someone if they aren't meeting you half-way. don't go further than half-way." i guess i've done my half, i think i should just leave it now.

haha my swearing was substituted for 'sparkle motion'
brilliant!

MM,

Great to see you are around. No, I'm not still hung up on the Virgo guy from a year ago. I got so annoyed with him in December, and don't want him bothering me anymore. It's been long overdue. However, I was just curious since it's been so long ago. I don't want him back in my life ever again. No way. There is a cute Aries I've got my eye on, but it's out of the question. Then there is the Cap man, but I don't know.

P-Angel,

I was talking about the Cap man who seems interested in me. In fact, when he asked me out I said: "Oh, brother". Actually, I spoke without thinking because he took me by surprise as I never saw it coming. That is when he laughed. Well, it doesn't matter if he was laughing at me or with me as I don't care. This guy I've seen around for almost 6 years and it was only when he found out I had turned 30 (in February) he started showing an interest. It doesn't matter anyway. As for Virgos, well they are very interesting, indeed.

PM,

Thank you so much. I would like to thank you personally for starting a birthday post on my birthday. I didn't see it until yesterday. It touched me you had remembered me. Anyway, yeah, a Cap man. I never saw it coming. I have no experience regarding Cap men so it's a little odd. As for the Virgo guy, I've moved on from that mess. Absolutely right, he was not the right one. Thank heavens for that. I learnt a lot though. I'm doing my nursing project and going a little crazy with that. However, my teacher has been awesome which is great.

Tanya023,

LOL. Nah, I'm not doing anything regarding the Virgo guy. No chasing is needed. He can go at his own pace on his own time with some other girl.

Archer,

You were correct with that I was talking about the Cap man. Thanks.

CC said: "no matter what the relationship is, never bother with someone if they aren't meeting you half-way. don't go further than half-way." i guess i've done my half, i think i should just leave it now."

I totally agree with this statement.

Ain't no man worth chasing .. what ever happened to "Woman Power"

Let them fucking chase you .. hell yeah !!!!!

Tanya023,

I believe in you give respect when respect is given to you. I always reply to anyone who has responded to me because I value they took the time to acknowledge me.

"if you love someone let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know"
-marques houston

This is my absolute favorite saying of all time. It just hits home with me.

P..must you always be doom and gloom?

Mystical glad to hear you've moved on...although Cappies aren't that great at moving things along either..LOL..If you want to get somewhere quick, pick a fire sign love...

P-Angel said: "Let them fucking chase you .. hell yeah !!!!!"

LOL. Oh yeah, it's great when the man is interested in you and, well, chasing you. It's happened to me, like with all girls, but it just seems in some cases, when the guy gets you, he loses interests. I've read it a lot all over the boards here. The guy is interested in the girl so he chases. Then after awhile, the girl gives in. Chase is over and guy disappears. It's a learning experience. However, I do believe it's the man who should do the chasing and be a man. Just my thoughts.

MM,

A fire sign? Is that Aries, Leo and one more, I think?

No, I'm in no hurry. I've learned to become patient and not be so impatient. This is something I learned very well last year. I'll find someone when I least expect it, or he'll find me.

As for Cap men, well, he is going very slow, indeed. He'll come into the store to buy something and just smile at me but won't say much. He likes to play the Lotto or something like that. Yesterday, I told him good luck. He looked at me with a smirk. Then he said thanks but he doubted he'd win. I told him to keep the faith because you never know. He looked me straight in the eye and said: "You never know what can happen". I just replied yeah. Well, it's odd the whole thing.

i read somewhere that virgo guys prefer you to take the next step. that they like women who take the lead. any truth to this? from the sounds of it, it just turns them off?!

Yep Aries, Leo and Sagi - I prefer the former two...I wouldn't trust a sagi male..

As for Cappies well yeah they are equally as lovely as virgos but i reckon they don't disclose their feelings as quick and are even slower paced than virgos..so its up to you...

Virgos do like women to take the lead..and majority do...have heard this soooooo many times that you have to make the effort with Virg..i don't know..just do whatever makes you comfortable...virgo or not virgo...

MM,

Well, I just can't see why he doesn't think about the age difference. It's 14 years. I know age is nothing but a number but that's a number of years. I'm not going to do anything about it, though.

Mystical..from what i've heard..they think younger women are easier to control...I don't know..don't have enough experience of Cap men...The one I knew, i still know and yes he's coming on strong now (too late for that) but initially i think virgo men open up a lot quicker than Cap...

moral of the thread: virgo men are kinda shut off, next to impossible to read, non-demonstrative and slow to pursue. trouble is, this is exactly my type because i like a challenge, someone to un-lock. i must be a mascohist or something.
by the way i found out his moon sign is capricorn (opposite to my sun sign, cancer. sposed to be good?) and my moon sign is sagittarius. dunno if that has any significance, but yeah.

LOL @ Cathy..hang in there..me moon sign is cancer..know all about the masochist thingy..

""Let them fucking chase you .. hell yeah !!!!!"


Sorry, Mystical .. I was referring to the title of this thread ..

I think u should pull away totally,if he comes after u then u will know he's interested,if he doesn't come after really find somebody else because that means hes not interested,or preoccupied with someone or something else.I'm a virgo,and ive dated my share of virgo men.trust me i know what i'm talking about.as far as virgo men like for women to take the lead in relationships, i dont think so, they want u to take the lead sexually yes, but let me tell u virgos know from the moment they meet u if u are someone they will date seriously,so i think u should be there for him and really show him that u really want him and just be patient and see what happens.and please whatever u do do come across as being needy ,they dont respect that.good luck

chynagirl16,
your advice sounds sensible. but last time i pulled away, whenever we were in the same vicinity, he would just sort of subtley stayed within close proximity and i felt him looking over at me all night. he didn't come after me, he just made himself available for me to swoop in. at least that's how i interpreted his behaviour. sometimes i'm scared that i analyse so much that i imagine things! (i'm virgo rising)
i think he's a bit unsure of me. i don't know how to let him know i'm interested in more than just kissing him in clubs, without just putting myself totally out there to be rejected by him. plus i don't want to push him and scare him off. any suggestions?
i'm definitely not gonna flirt with other guys in front of him again, that's for sure. that really didn't work in my favour.

Mystical -- i was refering to HIS interest in you -- what guy/man would not be interested in a woman 14 years his junior -- if she shows him some interest or niceness? That's what i mean! You may not really be interested in him -- but if you are -- his interst is the fact that he is a 44 year old man who has a 30 year old woman interested in him --- HUGE ego boost - makes him feel younger, etc..... it's a no brainer as to why a man would be interested in someone younger -- only rich, hollywood types are supposed to get the younger/trophy wives or girlfriends -- so of course a regular joe would feel even greater about it!

anyway, if you're interested - go for it - what do you have to lose?

have great day everyone - its sunny and the mountains are out with fresh snow on them where i live - i'm going for a run -- enjoy the day!!!

"P..must you always be doom and gloom?"


Standing on the edge of a precipice with no safety net and an encouraging wind blowing, whispering how much better it is and will be if you just take a step forward .. the only thing one can do is find something cold because the warmth of the bottom looks welcoming and comfortable .. the cold harshness holds the feet planted, it keeps me standing still and easy to grasp to hold on.

mm, you have years to go before you reach this phase .. when you get here, you'll understand, however, hopefully, for your sake, you'll find the strength to take a step backwards, or stand still, something to latch onto, no matter what it looks like to someone else.

One day, this will end .. until then, I listen to my friends who know what it feels like .. I'd rather say, "Fuck you bitch", then actually kill someone .. ever seen "Fried Green Tomatoes"? Because they are my friends, they encourage me to tear everything and everyone up because that is where I HAVE to go .. to stay.

I don't feel guilty .. I took care of people my whole life .. I'm done because if I'm not done .. then I will be done. I know you don't get it .. but, one day .. all you women will .. when you look around and all you can see are little scattered pieces and the only person to pull you together is a fucking man, who has no clue what it's like to walk in a woman's shoes.

Fuck it .. one day .. it will come back together .. until then .. whatever keeps me on the edge, instead of over ..........

lol mystical... virgo is one sign that actually listens and registers the words that we say in heat of the moment.. strangely they atually think about and attimes come back with amazing insight... much better response than if it was presented in sweet talk..

Moral:: ..... never be afraid to say what is pissing you off in as pissed off state as you are... you have a better chance of him responding to it and actually making an effort.

This is so true. It came to me as a surprise. I said something really really harsh to the virguy I like and I was pissed. He hanged up on me though and he logged off the messenger we talk on. I sent him an e-mail though. But ironically, the following morning, though he was pissed because I sent him a long e-mail, he also said that he was going to go training in the same sentence. Basically, he was letting me know that he was listening to what I was saying when I was pissed at him on the phone. I was basically telling him to get off his arse and go do something rather than waste time playing halo everyday..

Virgos are sooo weird!!! >< Why do you wait till we're pissed to do something—?

i think u should just be honest with him and just ask him ,what do u really want from me,and move on from there. i'm very inhibited and for years i was afraid to show any emotions until one day i woke up and realizied my way was not working. now i put my feelings out there and whatever happens i can deal with it.whats causing so much confusion is the fact of not knowing where u stand. release yourself and just ask him it doesnt have to be in a real serious manner ,joke with him a little bit ask him when r we going to stop playing games and get together? you wont have peace until u find out where u stand. trust me he wont tear u down he's a virgo, and he'll appreciate your boldness.if he doesnt want anything with u ,then u know this is not the man for u and u can move on and find somebody else.

"trust me he wont tear u down he's a virgo"


lol

thanks chynagirl
yeah i guess i'm gonna have to be brave and deal with my cancerian fear of rejection! i hope he'll be honest with me.
once you've hooked a virgo in and they're comfortable with you, are they more demonstrative etc? if he remained this aloof i don't think i could deal with it. haha :s

"trust me he wont tear u down he's a virgo"

That is funny. Well, he won't tear you down, but can ignore you. This is at least how the one I know is acting. I'm tired of his games.

RC,

LOL. Yeah, we Aquarian gals love to speak our minds. It's great he was actually listening to you. The Virgo guy I know just shuts down. The last time he called me, I wasn't available which was way back in November. I haven't heard from him since, and, well, it's all the better. I don't take being ignored well at all, and he's done that now for way too long. I doubt I'll ever hear from him again. I just hope he gets his life back in order and will lead a happy and healthy life. I only wish him all the best which I've always done. It just seems when I tried to help him, he got angry with me. Then I backed off. Well, it's a lesson learned. The next guy, I'm going to be a little more cautious with.

PM,

I always appreciate the little things so therefore I thought it was sweet of you to make a birthday post for me. Regarding the Cap guy, I have no idea. After the disaster regarding the Virgo and Leo doctor last year, I've become a bit more caution. I'm not going to leap too quickly now. I'm going to take my time. Then there is also an Aries guy who is absolutely adorable. I've read on the Aqua board you and the Aqua guy did the "dance". I know I'm a bit a late, but I'm glad for you. I hope it was all you imagined it would be.

"once you've hooked a virgo in and they're comfortable with you, are they more demonstrative etc? if he remained this aloof i don't think i could deal with it."


How much time you got?

LOL at P-Angel's comment. Not in offence way though.

p-angel!

haha *sigh* all the time in the world. unfortunately, i don't tend to give up until i've been burned.

and i pretty much wanna find out as much as i can, first.

when i said he wont tear u down , i meant if he truly was open to a relationship with u . once he's sure that u have feelings for him then i have to be totally honest with u ,he will start playing games with u or he might start testing u.most guys especially virgo men dont like to stay in a relationship thats not working,so when they get to that point they start to back off.most virgo guys are really shy deep down inside and they like to put up a front to protect their feelings.when u r dealing with a virgo man its alot of work in the beginning but once he feels secure with u ,it will be well worth the wait, i promise. like she said "How much time you got?"

MM,

You could be right about the control issue since I'm a number of years younger than him. It makes me a little suspicious because I don't want to be controlled ever. As stated, I'm going to stay in charge of my destiny. Not going to go too fast or too slow. Trying to find the happy medium.

Lindawin,

I hope you also are having a great day. Well, sure it's a great ego boost to him. However, I never have shown an interest in him ever. This is why when he asked me out two week ago, it took me by complete surprise. He also knows I'm a nursing student and will soon be fully educated. It's just interesting when he found out how old I was, he suddenly was interested. He'll stare at me though which makes me a little uncomfortable, so I say hello then. There is an Aries guy he works with who is just absolutely adorable. The Aries guy comes on my line (I work part-time in a food-store while I'm a full time nursing student) to just buy water or candy. Then he stares at me from where he works because he has a bird's eye view of me. Now he I wouldn't mind going for. Well, life does work in mysterious ways.

Chynagirl16,

Spot on. As soon as I told him I liked him, the games started. It really annoyed the hell out of me. I couldn't understand why everything was okay when he didn't know I liked him. Then I figured it was because their was no more chase anymore. It was like the beginning of the end. Then I went along with the hide and seek game of his where he would do his disappearing acts. Big mistake which I now know. It took way up until December to finally have enough of the games. Therefore I said goodbye to him. Unfortunately, a few days later, I felt bad and sent a text where I said I was sorry for being so mad at him. I haven't heard from him since. Now it's March. Therefore I think he's gone for good now because it's not normal for someone to ignore someone for months. It's better he's gone and I'm glad about it. I've moved on. He can continue to play head games with some other girl on his time, not mine.