I Love Our Ability To Turn Our Emotions On And Off

I mentioned in an earlier post how Virgos' emotions can run hot and cold even for the same person. I love the fact that we are able to quickly sever ties. I, for one, hate being taken for granted. I read something about this on a website that explained this perfectly. It said:

"Those freakin' Virgos...They can love you one day and the next day see you bleeding on the street and keep walking. When they get to their destination, they MIGHT call the ambulance for you!...Its because they love extremely hard. So when you abuse them or betray them, that's your ass!!! There is no gray area with them! They compartmentalize everything. Either they f[uc]k with you or they don't."

T

That definitely describes me. I know this is definitely the same for 25thDecan. lol. You don't reciprocate or appreciate him, and your ass is confetti. You're outta there. haha. I like that guy. Do you guys think this is a very common trait for Virgos? I guess it's a mutable thing.

Yup!!! I think that its perfectly normal and it is. Its Biblical. If your eye offends you, pluck it out for the sake of the rest of the body...lol

Nice. haha.

Is it really a strength or a weskness

I would say strength. Sometimes walking away and never looking back takes courage and discipline. It can hurt sometimes, but it is necessary. We can't control other people's actions, but we control ourselves and how we choose to react...and best believe, Virgos are definitely in charge of themselves. We're no leaders, but we're nobody's followers either.

See my experience with the virgo I was involved with was very different, he was the one who complained that I was the one who was able to remove my emotions from a situation, he ranted at me about it and said I shouldnt do that because I was involved in the situation, When I explained that maybe he should see it as a good thing that I was able to do this and that it enabled me to go away and reflect on a situation without my emotions fogging things he didnt get it, I was still at fault, I do believe I showed emotions when I was excited, happy, pissed off BUT I refused to allow him to cause me to cry or respond towards him with anger, he then ranted at me for being thick skinned, The whole time I offered kindness,showed appreciatiation for what little he offered and was tolerant and infact was the other way around he was the one who betrayed my trust and the one who would lose control over small things (I think I was more virgo than him!).. was hard walking away and not looking back but then he called me a week later, saying he missed me, was inspired by me and wanted to be like me because I am a good person and wanted to be friends (on his terms of course) but because I said It was something I had to think about and i wanted to think about the real reasons why he needed my friendship he went crazy at me and Im the bad guy.. so hmmmmn not all virgo`s he is not how you describe but I also realise there are underlying issues with this guy.

^ He sounds exhausting. Not your typical Virguy. Weird. Thanks to both of you lovely Gems for responding. I get a long really well with Geminis. Great energy. Great laughs.

Yeah dont get me wrong, I did like him alot and we had great laughs and got on, I do miss it but you can see where Im coming from.. I like Virgo`s too its a good energy between the two 🙂

This is the virgo trait that comes across as "cold" that other signs complain about.....
I was involved with a Virgo for about 2 years and that was the hardest part about getting used to him... that cold detached persona. He can show love with actions but still seemed a bit hands off and for want of a better word .. cold. had to break it off permanently. And he wasnt all that huggy kissy either.

Posted by Virg916
I mentioned in an earlier post how Virgos' emotions can run hot and cold even for the same person. I love the fact that we are able to quickly sever ties. I, for one, hate being taken for granted. I read something about this on a website that explained this perfectly. It said:

"Those freakin' Virgos...They can love you one day and the next day see you bleeding on the street and keep walking. When they get to their destination, they MIGHT call the ambulance for you!...Its because they love extremely hard. So when you abuse them or betray them, that's your ass!!! There is no gray area with them! They compartmentalize everything. Either they f[uc]k with you or they don't."

T

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously. Hell, I may not even call the ambulance! 😛

For me, a female Virgo, it is the best thing about being one. It's a total scorched earth policy if I run cold or need to survive a toxic person in my life. It's adios and then zap! out of my head and heart. It takes a lot, sometimes. Sometimes, it's one small thing that makes me see the situation clearly and then I'm out. It's why I love other Virgos so much.

That's true about Geminis. My very best gf is a Gemini and we get each other instantly; no waste of time. Great energy.

We can do this? I didn't get this function installed when I was built 😱

Haha, never thought of this as a coveted skill to have. That is why we get so perplexed by people who can't let someone go, hanging on, clinging, getting dragged around the mud forever when they could just get up and walk away.....like we do.

We do have a very powerful mind. It helps to avoid wasting time on something bad for us. And preserving our sanity. Actually, I think of us as Virgods and Virgoddesses. Totally have our wits together.

I don't think we can live as humans with them turned off.

You must be talking about indifference yea?

Not sure if this is unique to virgos, might be more personality dependant. I am a Cancer and I do the same. There was this toxic virgo girl in my life for a couple of months, one fine morning I woke up and decided enough was enough and threw her ass out of my life. As simple as that, haven't spoken a word to her in 6 weeks. I think this really depends on how you view life and how much crap you're willing to tolerate.

Posted by incandescentcancer
Not sure if this is unique to virgos, might be more personality dependant. I am a Cancer and I do the same. There was this toxic virgo girl in my life for a couple of months, one fine morning I woke up and decided enough was enough and threw her ass out of my life. As simple as that, haven't spoken a word to her in 6 weeks. I think this really depends on how you view life and how much crap you're willing to tolerate.

So what about her was so horrible? Pm me if you want so we don't take this topic on a diff tangent.

So what about her was so horrible? Pm me if you want so we don't take this topic on a diff tangent.

There is no amazing story to tell. She was low on self esteem and wanted to be a trophy gf/wife and was trying to dominate me using my weaker moments. Cancers catch on to this very swiftly in general, I like people who can stand on their own feet and have solid self esteem and under no circumstances will I allow myself to be dominated through games. I just saw her more clearly once a couple of months of clouded emotions had passed, once I became clear and rational she was out of the door mentally very fast. The best way to win and even dominate a Cancer is through affection, all other methods will necessarily fail.

Cancers and Virgos tend to see eachother in all their strengths and weaknesses very clearly, so if things don't work out we have magnificent potential to hurt eachother. Virgos will use their wit to do it and Cancers will tellingly hurt you emotionally, that's what I have noticed with bad Cancer-Virgo relations. The good ones are amazing, the water finds a comfortable home on earth to flow peacefully and in return it gives the earth the gift of life to bloom on it. Therefore both fulfill their purpose, the earth bears life and water makes it possible. I have phenomenal Virgo male and female friends and we trust and help eachother wherever we can.

i love it Dec. 🙂

We wouldn't have to turn our emotions off if you could understand us and be willing and patient with us. All we really ask of someone is to be patient while we solve the critical moments of our lives by ourselves. That's how I work anyways, I don't tell anyone my problems, because I know immediately what actions to take and when to do them at that point of time.

If we lose interest in something, it's gone. For good. It's not like fashion where things come back eventually, we give up on the matter at hand, and move on to something more productive and better for us.

You'll find out that each virgo has their own way of showing their feelings, some may actually be open about them, some might give subtle hints, and some might not give hints at all.

The signs of me liking/loving someone are as follows:
If I'm interested, I will try to talk to you a good bit, facebook, text message, email, what have you...
I will slowly get closer and try to 'invade' your personal space, as if trying to get a better sense of how you feel about me, and if you allow me to get close, it tells me that you either have an interest in me, see me as a good friend, or you get really creeped out(bad situation).
I will normally try to touch you, either on the waist, hips, arms, shoulders, and I will even offer to give a back massage(I'm good with my hands 😉 ).
I'll ask you about your day, compliment something about you("Your hair looks really nice today.").

The list goes on of course, but those are just some examples of myself.

We can turn "cold" if you give us too much attention, give us too much emotion, are too clingy, try to order us to do something, HARSH CRITICISM*AHEM*. There are other things that effect this as well, if we're under the weather, if we have something on our minds(which happens a lot, and if you ask, we'll normally tell you "It's nothing" or "It's family issues"), or it's because we're going through a troubled time and need our space.

We require our space to do our most important thinking, it's like the average man calling the bathroom his "office" or the toilet being his "thinking chair." We normally sit in our rooms, either listen to music or are doing something that can keep us at ease while we let our minds go to town. I get my alone time when I play video games, this is where I do my thinking, this is my "Happy place."

I've probably gone on long enough with this, some might be true for some, others might be false.

Posted by Cerib


The signs of me liking/loving someone are as follows:
If I'm interested, I will try to talk to you a good bit, facebook, text message, email, what have you...
I will slowly get closer and try to 'invade' your personal space, as if trying to get a better sense of how you feel about me, and if you allow me to get close, it tells me that you either have an interest in me, see me as a good friend, or you get really creeped out(bad situation).
I will normally try to touch you, either on the waist, hips, arms, shoulders, and I will even offer to give a back massage(I'm good with my hands 😉 ).
I'll ask you about your day, compliment something about you("Your hair looks really nice today.").

The list goes on of course, but those are just some examples of myself.

We can turn "cold" if you give us too much attention, give us too much emotion, are too clingy, try to order us to do something, HARSH CRITICISM*AHEM*. There are other things that effect this as well, if we're under the weather, if we have something on our minds(which happens a lot, and if you ask, we'll normally tell you "It's nothing" or "It's family issues"), or it's because we're going through a troubled time and need our space.

Thank you, these two sections were particularly useful. The attempted invasion of personal space is very interesting, puts a few things in a very different context. The attention part is very tricky with virgo though, if you just let them call you all the time that seems to upset them too!

It will only upset us if we find it as a waste of time rather than something that can be used for an intellectual conversation. This is the key to a virgo's mind. It's the first thing we seek for in a mate. Someone with intelligence and someone who can keep a deep conversation going. Saying "Yeah" all the time, or "IDK" is something that turns us off. Also note that virgo's being the perfectionists that we are, we are probably the worst Grammar Nazi's of all the zodiac signs. If you talk to us in 'text chat,' count that as an out for us, we will slowly lose interest. When we want to be left alone, just let us be, the more patience you have for a virgo can often give them a BIIIIIG hint that you're the one that they want.

We like an intellectual conversation, with proper grammar, proper mannerisms, and if you must, throw a joke or two in there(believe it or not, we do have a humor, and a good one at that).

Posted by Cerib
It will only upset us if we find it as a waste of time rather than something that can be used for an intellectual conversation. This is the key to a virgo's mind. It's the first thing we seek for in a mate. Someone with intelligence and someone who can keep a deep conversation going. Saying "Yeah" all the time, or "IDK" is something that turns us off. Also note that virgo's being the perfectionists that we are, we are probably the worst Grammar Nazi's of all the zodiac signs. If you talk to us in 'text chat,' count that as an out for us, we will slowly lose interest. When we want to be left alone, just let us be, the more patience you have for a virgo can often give them a BIIIIIG hint that you're the one that they want.

We like an intellectual conversation, with proper grammar, proper mannerisms, and if you must, throw a joke or two in there(believe it or not, we do have a humor, and a good one at that).

The things which you mentioned about Virgos is what I like about them. I am almost always able to have a very enriching conversation with them, I absolutely love that. I am very easy on being corrected, always happy to learn 🙂. I have to be more patient though which my Venus in Leo makes very very hard in love. But good tip on the patience aspect, I will remember that 😉.

Virgos are like books that would be from a grade beyond high school and college levels, consider this book a reading level of about a 1000(unless we're open with you, then it's about a 12th grade reading level, still difficult, but easy enough to get the generalized picture). The more you learn about us, the more you'll be able to read and understand us. Try getting a few virgo friends for a get together(we don't like big crowds, so invite them to your home or to a public place without a lot of people). Get into in depth conversations, ask them about their work ethnic, how they undergo stressful times, and how they can be good problem solvers in some areas. Don't let this be an interview, let it be a friendly conversation while you're watching the SuperBowl or playing Call of Duty, or just lounging around the house drinking a couple of beers.

I also recommend you get a virgo room mate, we normally live clean and organized lives, and you know what they say, "Walk a mile in someone's shoes to understand them more."

Posted by Cerib
Virgos are like books that would be from a grade beyond high school and college levels, consider this book a reading level of about a 1000(unless we're open with you, then it's about a 12th grade reading level, still difficult, but easy enough to get the generalized picture). The more you learn about us, the more you'll be able to read and understand us. Try getting a few virgo friends for a get together(we don't like big crowds, so invite them to your home or to a public place without a lot of people). Get into in depth conversations, ask them about their work ethnic, how they undergo stressful times, and how they can be good problem solvers in some areas. Don't let this be an interview, let it be a friendly conversation while you're watching the SuperBowl or playing Call of Duty, or just lounging around the house drinking a couple of beers.

I also recommend you get a virgo room mate, we normally live clean and organized lives, and you know what they say, "Walk a mile in someone's shoes to understand them more."

I have Virgo friends but most of them are male, so I am not able to get sufficient insight into the Virgo female mind. I had a Virgo flatmate for 13 months who just moved out, he was also my best buddy. That was a pretty good experience living with him, we would smoke up a few Js and talk about life, good times...

And that's all we want. Someone to talk to about things. Virgos live the lonely life most of their years. I'm 22 and I've been alone or have felt like I've been alone for a good portion of it. Probably since I was about 8 or so. I never had any really close friends, the friends I do have don't contact me, unless they need me for something. I.E. Marijuana, advice, my car, etc. And me being the awesome friend I am, I will normally help them out. Because I enjoy pleasing people and if that helps spark good conversations, then so be it. I'm fine with that. Virgo males and Virgo females aren't entirely different. Both genders have a lot of common traits to be Virgo's. Notice the good ones, ignore the bad ones(we're working on these, because we already know about them).

Another helpful bit of advice you can do is try to adapt the way a Virgo lives. Neat, clean, and OCD for the most part. Try to keep yourself neat and tidy, clean cut, nice haircut. Pay attention to details in yourself, others, and your surroundings. Virgos have this natural sense to be able to connect with their surroundings and notice everything. Even the little white hair on a grey shirt that someone is wearing anywhere from 10-15 feet away(exaggerating of course).

Don't try to mimic the bad flaws in Virgo's. Like being overly critical in certain situations, more than being a perfectionist and a good looking citizen. With enough effort, you could eventually learn how we work and how we view things.

Posted by Cerib
And that's all we want. Someone to talk to about things. Virgos live the lonely life most of their years. I'm 22 and I've been alone or have felt like I've been alone for a good portion of it. Probably since I was about 8 or so. I never had any really close friends, the friends I do have don't contact me, unless they need me for something. I.E. Marijuana, advice, my car, etc. And me being the awesome friend I am, I will normally help them out. Because I enjoy pleasing people and if that helps spark good conversations, then so be it. I'm fine with that.

This! A Virgo girl I met recently said exactly the same thing to me, that she felt alone and people came to her only if they wanted something from her. We did a lot of analysis and rationalization of this and talked about a different approach to the kind of people she attracts etc. That was a fantastic conversation, at the end of which I gave her a big hug and told her that she now has a friend who will give her things without expecting anything in return. She was positively overcome, I couldn't really understand the emotional response, now I see why 🙂.

She keeps complaining loudly about how she doesn't know why she tells me everything about herself. I generally don't respond to these things and smile quietly. I find her very emotional and she overwhelms me sometimes (lol....imagine a cancer saying this). I just have the general feeling that she is showing me a side of herself that she doesn't normally share with others. I am going to take your advice and just be patient. She is great company and I am just going to chill 😉

That's the way to go! Just be patient for her. Listen to her, give the occasional nod and agreement and add in your own insight(good insight is always a plus for us, it's not harsh criticism, but it's something that we can use to help ourselves out). You can give us advice, depending on how you say it. Do it in a gentle matter and not out and in the open.

Scenario:
Female Virgo: "My favourite cat just got ran over."*sobs uncontrollably*(We love animals, get a puppy and you'll see for yourself).
You: "That sucks."(Worst thing you could say. Insta-friend zone IMO)
Instead of that it should be said like this:
You: "Oh no, did he get out of the house or something? I'm here if you want to talk to me about it or if you need a shoulder to cry on."

Play it smooth, don't be so hasty about your decisions, you have to think carefully when dealing with a Virgo.

Just by the way she's telling you about herself more and more is saying that she's displaying interest in you, and she has already tested you or is still currently testing you(So far you seem to be in the green zone). With her telling you these things, and how you respond could be either a hit or a miss. Be careful with your words when she's telling you her inner most emotions. Be like a Sakura tree in Japan when the wind is blowing. Gentle and lovely to watch the pink/white leaves gently float down to the ground/follow the patterns in the wind.

Good luck to you sir! 😄

Also. Ego boost from the "I'm going to take your advice."
Brightens my day when I know someone's following my advice.*HINTHINT*

Posted by Cerib
Also. Ego boost from the "I'm going to take your advice."
Brightens my day when I know someone's following my advice.*HINTHINT*

This is true, when someone gives me good advice my natural inclination is to chalk up one next to their name and help them out when they need me. I understand with Virgos you got to let them know right away that their advice was needed, valuable and much respected. I have learnt a few things 😄

Well, hopefully you follow all of the advice I gave you and maybe it'll make your next meeting together an intriguing one. 😉

Posted by Cerib
That's the way to go! Just be patient for her. Listen to her, give the occasional nod and agreement and add in your own insight(good insight is always a plus for us, it's not harsh criticism, but it's something that we can use to help ourselves out). You can give us advice, depending on how you say it. Do it in a gentle matter and not out and in the open.

Play it smooth, don't be so hasty about your decisions, you have to think carefully when dealing with a Virgo.

Just by the way she's telling you about herself more and more is saying that she's displaying interest in you, and she has already tested you or is still currently testing you(So far you seem to be in the green zone). With her telling you these things, and how you respond could be either a hit or a miss. Be careful with your words when she's telling you her inner most emotions. Be like a Sakura tree in Japan when the wind is blowing. Gentle and lovely to watch the pink/white leaves gently float down to the ground/follow the patterns in the wind.

Good luck to you sir! 😄

I was brought up by a Virgo mother so I have a tendency to be critical but I do my best not to do that with Virgos. I have realized that it actually hurts their feelings very badly much more than some blunt statement about something. I guess it's because you are so hard on yourself that you don't need someone else to make it worse for you. I think the trick is to be gentle, kind and listen and give some implementable advice where possible. Boy, you guys have great humour with the right amount of intellect and elegance, I like that very much.

I am happy even if it works out as a solid friendship and not something romantic. I have realized in life that not carrying expectations makes things a lot more easier. If she feels I am the right guy and comes to me I will be very happy to have her but if it is only meant to be a good friendship, I will be pleased with that too. All I do now is to help her out on little things, plan our day trips and stuff like that. I enjoy the time spent together and I told her how much I appreciated it.

I just want to point something out for you, don't always expect a Virgo to be seeking a relationship, we rarely do so. It's more or less us just analyzing the people we are around day after day after day. We seek out the traits of those that we like, and if they have the right ones, then we see them as either a good friend, or a lover.

All Virgo's really want is to not feel like they're constantly overwhelmed with their worries and insecurities, we just want someone there who can comfort us into thinking we're just like everyone else. Someone to boost our morale and to brighten our day. Someone that can sometimes be outgoing and sometimes spontaneous(in certain areas anyways).

We seek commitment, none of that Middle School/High School 2 weeks and it's over kind of dating. We want a family, kids, and a stable life style later in life so we don't have to worry about being in debt or anything of the sort.

I love how this topic went from Virgo's abilities to hide their emotions very well to this. It's very intriguing.

Your ability is similar to pisces is ability

That's why I let my Virgo alone; I don't have time to figure out if I'm giving him too much or not enough attention. Shyt life is short and it a relationship doesn't have to be that difficult. He said I was difficult to figure out...hmmm he needed a mirror. I'm very open and know how to express my feelings. I can be cold too I admit but I normally "tell" a person and then show by actions that we're not working out and it's over. Some Virgo's want to just "disappear" and let someone figure it out on their own. That's b.s. and totally unnessessary--also cowardice. If you're that blunt as people say, just be upfront with it already. I'd respect that more...

Totally agreed Gem.🙂
As a Libra who was involved with a VG... I can totally relate..

@GemStar05 - I completely agree. Been there, done that. Virgo child, Virgo ex. I also have a lot of Virgo in my charts and I recognize these traits as toxic because I am also a double Scorpio. Yikes. The Virgos in my life are very sensitive people who struggle so hard to hide their emotions that when they have no choice but to express themselves, it freaks them out bad, especially when they regroup and learn that it really is ok to show feelings like normal people. If you are that difficult with people and they have to constantly figure out how to treat you because you are moody, temperamental or incapable of co-existing, be real, and go off and be with yourself instead of torturing everybody. Trust me as a Scorpio, I want you to have that space and "me-time just as much as I want mine. I do understand. But why get involved with others only to push them away when they get too close and complain when they take your mixed signals and leave you be? All I can say, it's too easy for Virgos to disconnect. They can dish it out but can't take it,and you can figure out what the "it" is on your own. But I am still a firm believer that there is someone for everybody, just a matter of figuring out if you can brew in the same pot together I guess.