truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
If you threw someone under the bus....
Posted by truecap
she reported the information I gave her to someone else who was in tight with the managment and
I don't know that for a fact, it's just my suspicion. Only reason I could think of as to why she would distance.
Posted by truecap
Nothing that happened affected me.
Yet the topic title reads "If you threw someone under the bus.."
Posted by truecap
Naturally, I felt used.
^This sounds contradictory to "Nothing that happened affected me"
Posted by truecap
I probably wouldn't trust her anymore
Why overthink this then?
Posted by truecap
So, my question is, do you think she's embarrassed because she knows what she did?click to expand
I don't know. Why should she feel embarassed if you say it didn't affect you unless it did affect you and she found out somewhat?
I'm going to be honest. This topic reads like "Maybe I was in the wrong on this. I don't know her mindset but she should have feel embarassed for what she did, even though it didn't actually affect me. That way I won't feel guilty about letting the friendship fade away". It sounds..contradictory.
The friendship disippating sounds like a good probability here. I've had friendships just naturally fade away during my life. But I never wondered if it happened due to one event or another. Feels like a concern over what exactly happened. Did that comment make you feel like you misjudged her or something?
The thing I'm trying to say is..sometimes friendships fade away without any event ocurring and without there being a perceived fault on either party. And even if there was a misunderstanding here..it happened a few years back. You say you don't trust her so you wouldn't reconnect the friendship. I'd let all thoughts go on this.
"Now you're just somebody that I used to know"..like the line in that song lol.
some virgo women will stab you in the back. I've had a somewhat similar situation where we were close and I fell back away from her because I found out she was gossiping about me and my love life behind my back.
I only distance myself to see if she was the reason why there so many rumors and when I did she gossip even more so I left that friendship where it was at.
They will always put themselves first dear even if it means "throwing you under the bus!" I would let that go you don't need any friendship where someone you confid in runs there mouth then disappear out of guilt!
I only distance myself to see if she was the reason why there so many rumors and when I did she gossip even more so I left that friendship where it was at.
They will always put themselves first dear even if it means "throwing you under the bus!" I would let that go you don't need any friendship where someone you confid in runs there mouth then disappear out of guilt!
Posted by Octoberbaby91
some virgo women will stab you in the back.
This is also true. I've seen it.
@truecap
I should also clarify my post a bit there..
I don't think anything about this virgo chick matters anymore in your life or is to be considered further. But I asked some questions to see where you're at on the whole scenario. This is you with yourself.
Oh and if she is one of those nasty virgos, not only she would not be embarassed, she would've been smug and gloating. So if in the following months or years she just took her distance and didn't go nasty..then maybe the friendship just faded away and we're overthinking this.
I should also clarify my post a bit there..
I don't think anything about this virgo chick matters anymore in your life or is to be considered further. But I asked some questions to see where you're at on the whole scenario. This is you with yourself.
Oh and if she is one of those nasty virgos, not only she would not be embarassed, she would've been smug and gloating. So if in the following months or years she just took her distance and didn't go nasty..then maybe the friendship just faded away and we're overthinking this.
Well, when I said it didn't affect me, I had already been laid off. Nothing further happened to me. But, when she informed someone who informed management (or did so herself), the added drama caused a lot of other people to lose their jobs as well. So, she didn't throw me under the bus, but she did cause other people to lose thier jobs.
The employees who were laid off were having a meeting, which she found out through me, to see if there were anything we could do to fight the lay off. A representative from management busted in. So, the people who were still employed at that time who went to the meeting out of curiosity were laid off the next day. Like I said it was a big mess.
The management was defrauding the government and ended up in jail for goverment fraud. Those of us who were compliant are the ones who were laid off because we were preventing their fraud, just to clarify.
The only thing I did wrong was mention the meeting. So, sure, there's some guilt there on my part, too, but I didn't expect her to pass the news along. I just felt like she used me to gather the information that she reported. And, of course, I am admitting that I only suspect.
I'm just asking if she did, would that cause her to distance from me. Sure, it bothers me that the friendship dissipated. She and I had a good connection at one time.
She is one of those virgos that thrive on drama. She's not what you would consider a nasty, mean person though.
The employees who were laid off were having a meeting, which she found out through me, to see if there were anything we could do to fight the lay off. A representative from management busted in. So, the people who were still employed at that time who went to the meeting out of curiosity were laid off the next day. Like I said it was a big mess.
The management was defrauding the government and ended up in jail for goverment fraud. Those of us who were compliant are the ones who were laid off because we were preventing their fraud, just to clarify.
The only thing I did wrong was mention the meeting. So, sure, there's some guilt there on my part, too, but I didn't expect her to pass the news along. I just felt like she used me to gather the information that she reported. And, of course, I am admitting that I only suspect.
I'm just asking if she did, would that cause her to distance from me. Sure, it bothers me that the friendship dissipated. She and I had a good connection at one time.
She is one of those virgos that thrive on drama. She's not what you would consider a nasty, mean person though.
Her post made me think about her and I always wondered why she didn't respond. That is the last real interaction we had, so I wondered if that situation had anything to do with it.
truecap, I get what you mean... she didn't throw you under the bus (wasn't literal) though could be interpreted that way (you must be another intuitive)... I think she feels guilty, like she believes she did something wrong. Virgo women and guilt do not go hand in hand...lol. Btw, Im a virgo woman myself.
Yes, GG, I suppose you're right. The friendship really isn't worth maintaining anymore.
I don't know about intimidation, I'm pretty opinionated and have my boundaries, but I'm laid back and easy going most of the time. I think I'm probably in between. lol!
I don't know about intimidation, I'm pretty opinionated and have my boundaries, but I'm laid back and easy going most of the time. I think I'm probably in between. lol!
Posted by CocoKat
truecap, I get what you mean... she didn't throw you under the bus (wasn't literal) though could be interpreted that way (you must be another intuitive)... I think she feels guilty, like she believes she did something wrong. Virgo women and guilt do not go hand in hand...lol. Btw, Im a virgo woman myself.
I know some virgo women that are sweet as pie, but I also know some that seem to have no conscious.
🙂
Let it go, truecap.
Not worth thinking about it.
Not worth thinking about it.
Posted by GG
I get the sense that you intimidate the weaker earthlings.
Then again, when I see my ex husband's virgo girlfriend that he had the affair with out in public, she seems to duck and hide from me, like she's scared of me for some reason. Truth is, I don't even harbor any bad feelings anymore and would probably be nice and friendly to her. lol!
Posted by Damnata
Let it go, truecap.
Not worth thinking about it.
True. I'm just so dang curious and analytical though. lol!
Im a virgo, we do have a conscious...lol. What we have a hard time doing is taking responsibility for our darker sides...lol. I try my best but the few times Ive wronged someone whether real or imagined I just wanna run for the hills and hide. Im trying to own my darker sides but its a work in progress...lol.
Posted by truecapPosted by Damnata
Let it go, truecap.
Not worth thinking about it.
True. I'm just so dang curious and analytical though. lol!click to expand
Here, here. Analytical minds unite. 😄
In case of the Virgo chick who interfered in your marriage, well she should damn well hide and keep her head down. At least she doesn't flaunt it like a glorified homewrecker. Still scum.
Posted by CocoKat
Im a virgo, we do have a conscious...lol. What we have a hard time doing is taking responsibility for our darker sides...lol. I try my best but the few times Ive wronged someone whether real or imagined I just wanna run for the hills and hide. Im trying to own my darker sides but its a work in progress...lol.
I know what you mean with darker sides but I met Virgos completely devoid of guilt. Not only devoid, overjoyed in ruining people's lives. Sociopath comes to mind.
Posted by Octoberbaby91
some virgo women will stab you in the back. I've had a somewhat similar situation where we were close and I fell back away from her because I found out she was gossiping about me and my love life behind my back.
I only distance myself to see if she was the reason why there so many rumors and when I did she gossip even more so I left that friendship where it was at.
They will always put themselves first dear even if it means "throwing you under the bus!" I would let that go you don't need any friendship where someone you confid in runs there mouth then disappear out of guilt!
Some Virgo MEN will stab you in the back too. and then turn it around as if it was justified and then go hide.
YUP, dump her. True friends don't betray you. They stick with you through thick and thin.
@truecap,
Friendship fades. It's just facts of life. Maybe she is the way you describe, maybe she isn't. If it doesn't affect you either way then why worry about it. Move her to "used to know" folder.
Friendship fades. It's just facts of life. Maybe she is the way you describe, maybe she isn't. If it doesn't affect you either way then why worry about it. Move her to "used to know" folder.
Posted by truecap
So, my question is, do you think she's embarrassed because she knows what she did? Or feels bad about it? Or it was just time for the friendship to dissipate?
If she did in fact "report" this information to someone, she clearly thought it was the right thing to do. Why would she then feel embarrassed about that? Doesn't make sense. Given how messy this was, she was probably instructed to stay away.
As for the the latter part of your post, if you no longer trust her what type of friendship would that have been anyway? It really didn't matter if she pulled away or not, clearly the friendship was over at that point. Sounds like you're dissapointed she pulled the plug first.
In friendship, express and cultivate freedom and individuality. It is typically the main benefit of this type of relationship over other types. If this does not exist, whether a matter of perception or reality, the friendship is susceptible to easily fade.
I have a Pisces girlfriend whose actions could fit this scenario; however, freedom is a main component in the relationship to the point she would not fade on me. It is known, understood that she is grown and can do as she pleases; particularly, where I am not concerned; and, so much so that she voluntarily tells me what she did or will do with the information we share.
As far as me and my Virgo friendships; whether the Virgo was of a darker psyche or not; of which I could acknowledge; and, not care; they, she, he, were/are devoted... the likes of which I have only read in books, and of course, and eventually experienced in my life.
But, that just may be synastry.
I think fondly back to my Virgo best female friend and how my Virgo husband felt uncomfortable about her level of devotion. She loved him too 'though.
I say that to say, no one is ever satisfied.
I have a Pisces girlfriend whose actions could fit this scenario; however, freedom is a main component in the relationship to the point she would not fade on me. It is known, understood that she is grown and can do as she pleases; particularly, where I am not concerned; and, so much so that she voluntarily tells me what she did or will do with the information we share.
As far as me and my Virgo friendships; whether the Virgo was of a darker psyche or not; of which I could acknowledge; and, not care; they, she, he, were/are devoted... the likes of which I have only read in books, and of course, and eventually experienced in my life.
But, that just may be synastry.
I think fondly back to my Virgo best female friend and how my Virgo husband felt uncomfortable about her level of devotion. She loved him too 'though.
I say that to say, no one is ever satisfied.
I see what you meant by throwing you under the bus .... eventhough you had already been laid off, it was still you who had (talked), which led to people getting terminated.
I'm not getting a feeling of her guilt here, rather yours.
You say it didn't affect you as far as your job, since you were already gone ... but, it seems that it did affect you, considering here you are hashing it over. And to me it feels like the way it affected you is you feeling guilt because your (talking) led to people losing their jobs.
Granted, they may have been let go anyway ... but, maybe not. Maybe it's your fault. Since you cannot repair that damage, your focus is misguided in thinking about the bridge with her.
In the scheme of things, your relationship with her is irrelevant .... however, your reputation with the laid off employees (and management) has been marred, and it is classic misguided loyalty to worry about her, rather than them.
In any event, back to her ..... it's irrelevant that she is a Virgo. Any/all people who betray another backs off due to feelings of embarrassment. The only part that is Virgo relative is the amount of time she will spend spinning her head about it. However, you can probably rest assure that once she puts it into perspective, she won't hold herself liable.
After all, people use themselves as their gauge for measuring ... in people's minds eye, they are right. This proves itself everyday, doesn't it?
So, even if you approached her, or the two of you talked about this episode, she won't be able to see herself as you see her, and visa versa .... so, it's irrational on your part to carry this any longer.
Posted by gemini64Posted by CocoKat
Im a virgo, we do have a conscious...lol. What we have a hard time doing is taking responsibility for our darker sides...lol. I try my best but the few times Ive wronged someone whether real or imagined I just wanna run for the hills and hide. Im trying to own my darker sides but its a work in progress...lol.click to expand
this is so true, and thank you for being so honest.
i experienced that "darker side" of the male virgo, not once, but twice this past several months.
I had a life long mentor who was a father figure and a huge part of my childhood. We've remained in contact over the past 34 years and always looked forward to seeing each other catching up on our respective families and lives etc. He invited me last spring to an event he coached. I have attended with my peers a couple times prior, so I really looked forward to seeing him. When I showed up, he barely said "Hi" to me and didn't even call me by name. He then gave me the cold shoulder for the entire time (50 minutes) I was there before I left.
I emailed him two days later asking him why he treated me as if I didn't exist. He never responded. After Thanksgiving, I sent him another email, albeit very concise and simply asked if in some way had I offended him I was unaware of. I also suggested meeting up for coffee to talk. He replied with a brief sentence about how he'd always have fond thoughts of me and never responded to my question nor my suggestion.
I'm still at a loss by his behavior.
Last Friday after nearly a year's hard work and dedication to my job, my boss, a male virgo, called me on his cell as I was headed out the door to lunch to tell me he was firing me. I was floored. When I asked him why, he gave a few bogus reasons that not only weren't true but in no way were legit reasons for firing anyone. I believe because I had just received a raise and also believe his practice is in a financial mess, perhaps that's why he cut me off without reasonable time nor cause.
The fact neither he nor mentor could look me in the eye and be direct with me despite the fact I had always given them that level of respect with them is telling.
And I have seen a lot of parallels between the two that aren't complimentary of either. VM aren't for me, that's for sure. I'll t
Sorry don't know why my response didn't go up, I tried to post yesterday too?
Anyways, unevolved Virgos can be sneaky and secretive and create reasons to cut you off that aren't based in reality.
Anyways, unevolved Virgos can be sneaky and secretive and create reasons to cut you off that aren't based in reality.
I used to do this too when I was young, cut people off.
Truecap I wrote above also in response to the thread...ugh.
Truecap I wrote above also in response to the thread...ugh.
I trusted my cap bff (guy) with all my secrets and he spawned them out like ammunition to rise up the social ladder. Glad to say I cut him loose.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Hi all, my first time posting, yes, it's long but I am not sure how to shorten what it is I am trying to convey here...
This was spot on http://youtu.be/0nUiil24nac
Before you respond: if you have nothing nice to say, please don't say it all. Thanks in advance I'm a capricorn, my g
I have a question. My boss is a virgo male. He is very fun and friendly with all. He likes to talkand make jokes and hav
Because he is a virgo...... But why do so many virgos look young I see this more on the male side but some women here an
I feel kinda sorry for virgo it seems like they are left out of every astrology discussion. For some reason it isn't a
i'm a sag women, any advice on Virgo men? im so attracted to one.
Me and my partener are trying for a baby. My partener already has a daughter and wants a little boy. I don't have any ch
So I've been dating on and off a Virgo who has said he just wants to be friends. He's not ready for a relationship..
I always knew this. Very attractive in a classic way. I just noticed thanks to famous birthdays a lot of the heart th
What is the biggest turn on for virgo men in the bedroom? I know the typical cleanliness, pleasing their partner, etc.
Been seeing this Virgo Guy since April ... We have been ok... Little arguments here and there... But, we seem to always
Are they? even if things just seem to be going well and they seem to like you? I messaged him on facebook saying 'hey'
If you were going to have a blind date and you could select from twelve women (one from each zodiac sign) and all you kn
Venus+sun in virgo opposite pisces moon. Get this. My virgo homegirl and her cap man are to be wed probably in the s
is it extremely difficult for you to initiate contact (even casual) with people due to over thinking about how your mess
Seriously, both Virgo males and females are nice to me. Emotions and all other things are free to discuss if any of us w
I kind of like this Virgo guy. He's a virgo with a cap moon and leo venus, mars and mercury. We've been friends for abou
If so, why?
I have a female virgo friend that I used to be close with. We used to work together. She had moved on to a better paying job and we kept in contact. I was still working at our old place. Then, there were some drama that went on at my work place including legal issues, a massive layoff of people who didn't agree with a fradulent management (me included), just a big mess. Anyway, the virgo called me asked me what was going on, I was honest with her and she reported the information I gave her to someone else who was in tight with the managment and more drama ensued. Nothing that happened affected me.
This all happened a few years ago. Meanwhile, almost immediately after, she has distanced away from me. Doesn't respond to calls or messages, so I gave up on the friendship. Occasionally I reach out to her, but still no response.
Naturally, I felt used. I probably wouldn't trust her anymore, but it wasn't enough to end a friendship. It wasn't actually a betrayal or anything, everything I told her was common knowledge, so I didn't see a need to end the friendship over that.
So, my question is, do you think she's embarrassed because she knows what she did? Or feels bad about it? Or it was just time for the friendship to dissipate?
I really don't think about it anymore, but I saw a post she made on Facebook and it made me think of her, so I thought I'd ask your opinion.