Safri
@Safri
20 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 2
Just too impatient? (Page 2)
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No need to thank me lady?
Your happiness is enough for me?. I am glad that I was useful for you..
Be happy and enjoy your life?
🙂
Your happiness is enough for me?. I am glad that I was useful for you..
Be happy and enjoy your life?
🙂
Hi all,
Qbone, I thought i'd let u know how things were going....maybe u could make more sense out of it! After everything (if u can still remember) I have, of course, resigned to the fact that me and my virgo will only be friends...did not txt at all. He txted me the sunday night (4 days after telling me he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship)...just txt me a kiss...i txted back the same. Had a really good time at work together...kind of getting back to the old chatting and joking way...but of course, i just think of it as friendship. I didn't txted him at all, except when i had to go to the doctors on thursday...i txted to ask whether he would lock up some stores where i was working, after i'd gone, as he was the only one around with a key.
Afterwards he txted me twice that nite to ask how it went at the doctors...after the second time i actually txted back and told him. The friday night twelve o' clock he txted me a smiley face and a kiss...i just replied the same. Didin't txt him at all the rest of the weekend until monday nite (he had put some music on my phone and just txted to say thanks)....we had a great time at work...he told me a lot about how him and his friend are planning to go to australia next March, for a year, and what a big step it is...of course i just went ahead and told him how great it's gonna be and even though it seems a bit scary he will never regret doing it now while he can. Anyway, Tuesday, we're working together on a roof, he started telling me about how him and his mate went on their pushbikes the nite before and found this beautiful lake and how he'd love to go and show me...i just smiled and said yeah, that'd be nice. (Just remember: we've only like spent any time together out of work about 3 or 4 times in the 3 years we've known each other...at things like work parties and stuff). A little later that day he says that I should come over after work some day and I could have his dad's pushbike and we could go see this place he was talking about. I was just casual, saying yeah, we could do that. The next day (yesterday) he said how about doing it then...so last nite was just great...i met his parents...sat chatting to them for a while...then we went to the lake, which was stunning...sat on the jeti chatting....walked around it....watched the sunset...we biked all around his village (where he lived since he was born) - he showed me his old school and all sorts of other interesting places and told me about all the naughty things they got up to as kids, we also ran into his best mate and his girlfriend...and then he bought me a drink at the local pub! Now what is THAT all about??....is it maybe that he feels now much more relaxed knowing that we are just friends? Personally, if i knew someone had feelings for me i would not encourage it more (if i didn't feel the same) by spending even more time with them....Today he told me his mom thinks I am very nice....
I don't know....i just treat it all as a friendship and that he is just being nice....he is, afterall, going away next March to Australia for a year....
I do feel stronger and much more in control of my feelings now....but a little bit of me feels like the more involved i become in his life the harder it will be eventually to say goodbye....i just wish i could read his mind sometimes! Am i handling this situation right at all...i don't want to make a scene of things... I just put it all down to him wanting to be a good friend...
Qbone, I thought i'd let u know how things were going....maybe u could make more sense out of it! After everything (if u can still remember) I have, of course, resigned to the fact that me and my virgo will only be friends...did not txt at all. He txted me the sunday night (4 days after telling me he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship)...just txt me a kiss...i txted back the same. Had a really good time at work together...kind of getting back to the old chatting and joking way...but of course, i just think of it as friendship. I didn't txted him at all, except when i had to go to the doctors on thursday...i txted to ask whether he would lock up some stores where i was working, after i'd gone, as he was the only one around with a key.
Afterwards he txted me twice that nite to ask how it went at the doctors...after the second time i actually txted back and told him. The friday night twelve o' clock he txted me a smiley face and a kiss...i just replied the same. Didin't txt him at all the rest of the weekend until monday nite (he had put some music on my phone and just txted to say thanks)....we had a great time at work...he told me a lot about how him and his friend are planning to go to australia next March, for a year, and what a big step it is...of course i just went ahead and told him how great it's gonna be and even though it seems a bit scary he will never regret doing it now while he can. Anyway, Tuesday, we're working together on a roof, he started telling me about how him and his mate went on their pushbikes the nite before and found this beautiful lake and how he'd love to go and show me...i just smiled and said yeah, that'd be nice. (Just remember: we've only like spent any time together out of work about 3 or 4 times in the 3 years we've known each other...at things like work parties and stuff). A little later that day he says that I should come over after work some day and I could have his dad's pushbike and we could go see this place he was talking about. I was just casual, saying yeah, we could do that. The next day (yesterday) he said how about doing it then...so last nite was just great...i met his parents...sat chatting to them for a while...then we went to the lake, which was stunning...sat on the jeti chatting....walked around it....watched the sunset...we biked all around his village (where he lived since he was born) - he showed me his old school and all sorts of other interesting places and told me about all the naughty things they got up to as kids, we also ran into his best mate and his girlfriend...and then he bought me a drink at the local pub! Now what is THAT all about??....is it maybe that he feels now much more relaxed knowing that we are just friends? Personally, if i knew someone had feelings for me i would not encourage it more (if i didn't feel the same) by spending even more time with them....Today he told me his mom thinks I am very nice....
I don't know....i just treat it all as a friendship and that he is just being nice....he is, afterall, going away next March to Australia for a year....
I do feel stronger and much more in control of my feelings now....but a little bit of me feels like the more involved i become in his life the harder it will be eventually to say goodbye....i just wish i could read his mind sometimes! Am i handling this situation right at all...i don't want to make a scene of things... I just put it all down to him wanting to be a good friend...
Hi safri
Welcome back..
Let me see... every relationship has its own strange level and conditions! If I start to share my private life and childhood memories and places that I've been or things that I have done with a lady that I am with, means that I feel comfortable with her and at the same time I want her know me better, this doesn?t mean love.. But sparking it and this is a good start for the romance and sensualities.
However, circumstances may change unexpectedly without notice, and if you lose your heart this time then it may not be recovered easily and push you in to realms of uncertainty for the rest of your life, stay alert lady and don?t get fooled by those SMS "hugs and kisses" accept only what is real, it?s a tradition to send those and actually has no meaning if you ask me.
The point is, your writing style s and the way you explaining things reveal that you are not an adventurous human being and see things in more stable environments, while your BF looking for adventure, and this is the reason to makes you discomfort in this relation/friendship.
Stay friend as long as possible and be patience with this friendship and following it with wide open eyes, just keep your heart somewhere safe and accepting the fact that, there are things that you can not change in this world! But you can live with it, the younger you are the more flexible you are with the sudden changes.
BUT?! Don?t lose your dignity and free spirit, don?t become a "love and attention beggar", it kills your soul and destroys your spirit.
You've said: "I just wish I could read his mind sometimes!"
You don?t need to read anyone's mind, what you need is to read your own heart and mind correctly safri, this is the only key to a successful relationship, you need to be exactly yourself and to be honest with yourself, you are NOT in love relationship to please your BF or anyone else, learn to please yourself first lady.
What you need to know is right there, inside you?. Bring it out and put it in front of yourself? Write it down if you wish and read it, use several hours to re- read it, edit it, add to it, delete some, form it—?.there you go? It is you..! The papers are the product of your own realities, well being, beautiful yourself, a young lady with a lot of ambitions and challenging spirit!
Accept it and respect it, and don?t let anyone even remotely dishonour it.
Stay on your toes and learn to love yourself more than anyone else in this world.
🙂
Welcome back..
Let me see... every relationship has its own strange level and conditions! If I start to share my private life and childhood memories and places that I've been or things that I have done with a lady that I am with, means that I feel comfortable with her and at the same time I want her know me better, this doesn?t mean love.. But sparking it and this is a good start for the romance and sensualities.
However, circumstances may change unexpectedly without notice, and if you lose your heart this time then it may not be recovered easily and push you in to realms of uncertainty for the rest of your life, stay alert lady and don?t get fooled by those SMS "hugs and kisses" accept only what is real, it?s a tradition to send those and actually has no meaning if you ask me.
The point is, your writing style s and the way you explaining things reveal that you are not an adventurous human being and see things in more stable environments, while your BF looking for adventure, and this is the reason to makes you discomfort in this relation/friendship.
Stay friend as long as possible and be patience with this friendship and following it with wide open eyes, just keep your heart somewhere safe and accepting the fact that, there are things that you can not change in this world! But you can live with it, the younger you are the more flexible you are with the sudden changes.
BUT?! Don?t lose your dignity and free spirit, don?t become a "love and attention beggar", it kills your soul and destroys your spirit.
You've said: "I just wish I could read his mind sometimes!"
You don?t need to read anyone's mind, what you need is to read your own heart and mind correctly safri, this is the only key to a successful relationship, you need to be exactly yourself and to be honest with yourself, you are NOT in love relationship to please your BF or anyone else, learn to please yourself first lady.
What you need to know is right there, inside you?. Bring it out and put it in front of yourself? Write it down if you wish and read it, use several hours to re- read it, edit it, add to it, delete some, form it—?.there you go? It is you..! The papers are the product of your own realities, well being, beautiful yourself, a young lady with a lot of ambitions and challenging spirit!
Accept it and respect it, and don?t let anyone even remotely dishonour it.
Stay on your toes and learn to love yourself more than anyone else in this world.
🙂
One other important thing safri..
Friendship between male and female is ultimately "nonsense", if you have special feelings for your BF then make it special and let him also feel it this way.
If you let him become a friend as your would be GF, then you most likely lose your interest for him, same goes for him as well if he treat you as his would be BF, this is not LOVE, its friendship..!
Declare your love and explain your intentions and your future plans with courage and make him understand every word of it, but don?t get involved with the details and live your own life, let him be like one of your options "you'll never know what will be waiting for you "both of you" in next corner of life cycles", so it is foolish to limit your feelings, visions, hopes, future etc. to each other when you both are in state of "uncertainties" especially when you know there is no firm commitments between you two ?
Love and loving life need to be worked out and accepted from both sides or else it is waste of time and resources, it may sounds dull and funny but in reality, in love life sometimes you need to have a farmer vision, "when they plant the seeds they never know what will be the results, but they do and wish everything goes fine in harvest time", now plant your love seed and wish everything goes fine but don?t waste your time to watch it grows, enjoy your life and be happy, when the time comes you'll see the results?!
Be reasonable with your feelings and yourself.
Friendship between male and female is ultimately "nonsense", if you have special feelings for your BF then make it special and let him also feel it this way.
If you let him become a friend as your would be GF, then you most likely lose your interest for him, same goes for him as well if he treat you as his would be BF, this is not LOVE, its friendship..!
Declare your love and explain your intentions and your future plans with courage and make him understand every word of it, but don?t get involved with the details and live your own life, let him be like one of your options "you'll never know what will be waiting for you "both of you" in next corner of life cycles", so it is foolish to limit your feelings, visions, hopes, future etc. to each other when you both are in state of "uncertainties" especially when you know there is no firm commitments between you two ?
Love and loving life need to be worked out and accepted from both sides or else it is waste of time and resources, it may sounds dull and funny but in reality, in love life sometimes you need to have a farmer vision, "when they plant the seeds they never know what will be the results, but they do and wish everything goes fine in harvest time", now plant your love seed and wish everything goes fine but don?t waste your time to watch it grows, enjoy your life and be happy, when the time comes you'll see the results?!
Be reasonable with your feelings and yourself.
Hiya all, especially Qbone (who has given me invaluable advice about life a little while ago).....🙂
I haven't posted in a long while, but kept reading your posts...i find it really interesting to see how different people really are in the way they think and react to any situation....one learns a lot.
However, just to come back to why i originally posted on this board....i fell in love with a close friend who happens to work with me as well...so many things made me think he felt the same, but ultimately when i wanted to know where we stood, he said that he didn't think he was ready for a relationship (He and one of his best friends are planing to tour Australia for a year next March). I said i understood. We went through a tricky patch, i finally decided to let my feelings go...really great friendships are rare and i'd much rather keep a good friend out of all of this. After this things were great for me...i felt relieved that we were back to old days...joking, laughing and just getting along great....he'd txt me occasionally in the evenings - just to say what a nice sunset it is or sometimes just a smiley face and a kiss. A couple of weeks ago i went to Bristol for the w/e to visit my cousin....he txted to ask how things were going saturday morning and then the sat. nite, about 11, he simply txted: hey you... 🙂x.
Then, last w/e, we were working together at an outside event held at our workplace...everything was great. The saturday night there was a big get together for everyone in one of the marquees....we were all having a great time, not getting very drunk or anything, just enough to get tipsy. We were all dancing away and I called N (my friend) to come and join us as he was just next to the dancefloor. He came up and said that he didn't want to dance with every one else and the next thing we were dancing really close...he held me so close and, of course i just did the same...we were joking with each other as we were dancing and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. After everything finished and the evening ended we were still mucking about with the last of the people there...there was just nothing uncomfortable about what happened. We said goodnite and I went home. The Sunday we were fine with each other, like usual. I just didn't see the point of bringing it up as I just thought of it as a one time thing...we both had something to drink etc. and it was just like a month or 2 ago he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. Monday at work were great, no uncomfortableness...we had a few lingering looks...he was really nice to me...doing all kinds of little things. Then Monday night I got this txt:
Hey T, i just wanted to apologise for my actions sat. night. I don't regret what happened between us, but I would hate for M *(whose my ex and whom he knew)* to find out cause it wouldn't take a lot for it to get out. I had such a good night and am really sorry if I upset you in any way. I hope your ok xx
My ex did make it really difficult for me when we broke up about 8 months ago, but I haven't heard of him in 3 months so don't know why he brought him up, unless he felt guilty? Anyway, i asked him what made him think he upset me at all (as I was just my normal self after the saturday, and he said he doesn't really know, he just hope he hasn't. I told him that of course he hasn't, that alhough i can't speak for anyone else I wasn't gonna go round discussing it with others, that I had a really good nite too and thank you for caring enough to make sure i'm ok. I also added that it would be ok if he maybe felt that it was a mistake as alcohol does make one do silly things. He replied saying he will always care and that he would not say it was a mistake (and he added an exclamation mark). I said that meant a lot to me and then we both said goodnite.
The rest of this week has been really good....we've been even closer in a way...but he confuses me with all this. I don't
I haven't posted in a long while, but kept reading your posts...i find it really interesting to see how different people really are in the way they think and react to any situation....one learns a lot.
However, just to come back to why i originally posted on this board....i fell in love with a close friend who happens to work with me as well...so many things made me think he felt the same, but ultimately when i wanted to know where we stood, he said that he didn't think he was ready for a relationship (He and one of his best friends are planing to tour Australia for a year next March). I said i understood. We went through a tricky patch, i finally decided to let my feelings go...really great friendships are rare and i'd much rather keep a good friend out of all of this. After this things were great for me...i felt relieved that we were back to old days...joking, laughing and just getting along great....he'd txt me occasionally in the evenings - just to say what a nice sunset it is or sometimes just a smiley face and a kiss. A couple of weeks ago i went to Bristol for the w/e to visit my cousin....he txted to ask how things were going saturday morning and then the sat. nite, about 11, he simply txted: hey you... 🙂x.
Then, last w/e, we were working together at an outside event held at our workplace...everything was great. The saturday night there was a big get together for everyone in one of the marquees....we were all having a great time, not getting very drunk or anything, just enough to get tipsy. We were all dancing away and I called N (my friend) to come and join us as he was just next to the dancefloor. He came up and said that he didn't want to dance with every one else and the next thing we were dancing really close...he held me so close and, of course i just did the same...we were joking with each other as we were dancing and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. After everything finished and the evening ended we were still mucking about with the last of the people there...there was just nothing uncomfortable about what happened. We said goodnite and I went home. The Sunday we were fine with each other, like usual. I just didn't see the point of bringing it up as I just thought of it as a one time thing...we both had something to drink etc. and it was just like a month or 2 ago he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. Monday at work were great, no uncomfortableness...we had a few lingering looks...he was really nice to me...doing all kinds of little things. Then Monday night I got this txt:
Hey T, i just wanted to apologise for my actions sat. night. I don't regret what happened between us, but I would hate for M *(whose my ex and whom he knew)* to find out cause it wouldn't take a lot for it to get out. I had such a good night and am really sorry if I upset you in any way. I hope your ok xx
My ex did make it really difficult for me when we broke up about 8 months ago, but I haven't heard of him in 3 months so don't know why he brought him up, unless he felt guilty? Anyway, i asked him what made him think he upset me at all (as I was just my normal self after the saturday, and he said he doesn't really know, he just hope he hasn't. I told him that of course he hasn't, that alhough i can't speak for anyone else I wasn't gonna go round discussing it with others, that I had a really good nite too and thank you for caring enough to make sure i'm ok. I also added that it would be ok if he maybe felt that it was a mistake as alcohol does make one do silly things. He replied saying he will always care and that he would not say it was a mistake (and he added an exclamation mark). I said that meant a lot to me and then we both said goodnite.
The rest of this week has been really good....we've been even closer in a way...but he confuses me with all this. I don't
Hi safri?!
Missed you a lot?. Welcome back lady..!!
Missed you a lot?. Welcome back lady..!!
Hi Qbone,
I have been around most of the time, just not posting, rather observing 🙂
Hope all is well with you and thanks for the welcome!
I have been around most of the time, just not posting, rather observing 🙂
Hope all is well with you and thanks for the welcome!
Observing..??--- coolness.. good start.. I've been observing this message board for over a year before I made my first post....🙂
But? I've missed you and your passions a lot lady..!
Don't be a "sneak" and grace us with your adventures?..!
But? I've missed you and your passions a lot lady..!
Don't be a "sneak" and grace us with your adventures?..!
How's you life with your Virgo Bf..?? you haven?t tell us about it..!!
Excuse my "stupidity"?. But one thing to be learn here?!
NEVER GET ENVOLVE WITH SOMEONE IN YOUR WORK PLACE?. Just to avoid everyday suffering and pain "if things goes wrong"?.!
Just a small suggestion from a remote friend?!
Wish you a happy life safri
NEVER GET ENVOLVE WITH SOMEONE IN YOUR WORK PLACE?. Just to avoid everyday suffering and pain "if things goes wrong"?.!
Just a small suggestion from a remote friend?!
Wish you a happy life safri
I posted what's been happening the other day, but I'll post it again just for you Qbone 🙂
Just to recap quickly....
I (taurus) originally posted on this board because i fell in love with a close friend (virgo) who happens to work with me as well...so many things made me think he felt the same, but ultimately when i wanted to know where we stood, he said that he didn't think he was ready for a relationship (He and one of his best friends are planing to tour Australia for a year next March). I said i understood (that was really hard to say, because i didn't really). We went through a tricky patch, i finally decided to let my feelings go...really great friendships are rare and i'd much rather keep a good friend out of all of this. After this things were great for me...i felt relieved that we were back to old days...joking, laughing and just getting along great....he'd txt me occasionally in the evenings - just to say what a nice sunset it is or sometimes just a smiley face and a kiss. A couple of weeks ago i went to Bristol for the w/e to visit my cousin....he txted to ask how things were going saturday morning and then the sat. nite, about 11, he simply txted: hey you... x. (Confusing!!)
Then, last w/e, we were working together at an outside event held at our workplace...everything was great. The saturday night there was a big get together for everyone in one of the marquees....we were all having a great time, not getting very drunk or anything, just enough to get tipsy. We were all dancing away and I called N (my virgo) to come and join us as he was just next to the dancefloor. He came up and said that he didn't want to dance with every one else and the next thing we were dancing really close...he held me so close and, of course i just did the same...we were joking with each other as we were dancing and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. After everything finished and the evening ended we were still mucking about with the last of the people there...there was just nothing uncomfortable about what happened. We said goodnite and I went home. The Sunday we were fine with each other, like usual. I just didn't see the point of bringing it up as I just thought of it as a one time thing...we both had something to drink etc. and it was just like a month or 2 ago he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, anyway. Monday at work were great, no uncomfortableness...we had a few lingering looks...he was really nice to me...doing all kinds of little things, more than usual even. Then Monday night I got this txt:
Hey T, i just wanted to apologise for my actions sat. night. I don't regret what happened between us, but I would hate for M *(whose my ex and whom he knew)* to find out cause it wouldn't take a lot for it to get out. I had such a good night and am really sorry if I upset you in any way. I hope your ok xx
My ex did make it really difficult for me when we broke up about 8 months ago, but I haven't heard of him in 3 months so don't know why he brought him up, unless he felt guilty? Anyway, i asked him what made him think he upset me at all (as I was just my normal self after the saturday) and he said he doesn't really know, he just hope he hasn't. I told him that of course he hasn't, that although i can't speak for anyone else I wasn't gonna go round discussing it with others, that I had a really good nite too and thank you for caring enough to make sure i'm ok. I also added that it would be ok if he maybe felt that it was a mistake as alcohol does make one do silly things. He replied saying he will always care and that he would not say it was a mistake (and he added an exclamation mark). I said that meant a lot to me and then we both said goodnite. (In a way it felt like he was fishing a bit to see what i thought about what happened as I haven't brought anything up abput it at all)
The rest of this week has been really good....we've been even closer in a way...but he confuses me wit
Just to recap quickly....
I (taurus) originally posted on this board because i fell in love with a close friend (virgo) who happens to work with me as well...so many things made me think he felt the same, but ultimately when i wanted to know where we stood, he said that he didn't think he was ready for a relationship (He and one of his best friends are planing to tour Australia for a year next March). I said i understood (that was really hard to say, because i didn't really). We went through a tricky patch, i finally decided to let my feelings go...really great friendships are rare and i'd much rather keep a good friend out of all of this. After this things were great for me...i felt relieved that we were back to old days...joking, laughing and just getting along great....he'd txt me occasionally in the evenings - just to say what a nice sunset it is or sometimes just a smiley face and a kiss. A couple of weeks ago i went to Bristol for the w/e to visit my cousin....he txted to ask how things were going saturday morning and then the sat. nite, about 11, he simply txted: hey you... x. (Confusing!!)
Then, last w/e, we were working together at an outside event held at our workplace...everything was great. The saturday night there was a big get together for everyone in one of the marquees....we were all having a great time, not getting very drunk or anything, just enough to get tipsy. We were all dancing away and I called N (my virgo) to come and join us as he was just next to the dancefloor. He came up and said that he didn't want to dance with every one else and the next thing we were dancing really close...he held me so close and, of course i just did the same...we were joking with each other as we were dancing and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. After everything finished and the evening ended we were still mucking about with the last of the people there...there was just nothing uncomfortable about what happened. We said goodnite and I went home. The Sunday we were fine with each other, like usual. I just didn't see the point of bringing it up as I just thought of it as a one time thing...we both had something to drink etc. and it was just like a month or 2 ago he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, anyway. Monday at work were great, no uncomfortableness...we had a few lingering looks...he was really nice to me...doing all kinds of little things, more than usual even. Then Monday night I got this txt:
Hey T, i just wanted to apologise for my actions sat. night. I don't regret what happened between us, but I would hate for M *(whose my ex and whom he knew)* to find out cause it wouldn't take a lot for it to get out. I had such a good night and am really sorry if I upset you in any way. I hope your ok xx
My ex did make it really difficult for me when we broke up about 8 months ago, but I haven't heard of him in 3 months so don't know why he brought him up, unless he felt guilty? Anyway, i asked him what made him think he upset me at all (as I was just my normal self after the saturday) and he said he doesn't really know, he just hope he hasn't. I told him that of course he hasn't, that although i can't speak for anyone else I wasn't gonna go round discussing it with others, that I had a really good nite too and thank you for caring enough to make sure i'm ok. I also added that it would be ok if he maybe felt that it was a mistake as alcohol does make one do silly things. He replied saying he will always care and that he would not say it was a mistake (and he added an exclamation mark). I said that meant a lot to me and then we both said goodnite. (In a way it felt like he was fishing a bit to see what i thought about what happened as I haven't brought anything up abput it at all)
The rest of this week has been really good....we've been even closer in a way...but he confuses me wit
Welcome back, Safri. Glad things are going well for you. Surely there is space for better things to come!
I'm not sure how good waiting is going to be for you. Virgos rarely want to make any decision at all, especially "huge" decision such as this, when they are already in a comfortable situation. Even when they want to, their analytical minds pose too many "consequences" that will otherwise discourage them. But it seems like there is nothing more you can do. Pushing him does not seem like a good idea either. I guess you will just have to be very patient, Safri! But, in any way, do not put your own life to a stop either. You cannot wait forever for this man. Go out there and enjoy yourself! Best wishes!
I'm not sure how good waiting is going to be for you. Virgos rarely want to make any decision at all, especially "huge" decision such as this, when they are already in a comfortable situation. Even when they want to, their analytical minds pose too many "consequences" that will otherwise discourage them. But it seems like there is nothing more you can do. Pushing him does not seem like a good idea either. I guess you will just have to be very patient, Safri! But, in any way, do not put your own life to a stop either. You cannot wait forever for this man. Go out there and enjoy yourself! Best wishes!
Safri
I LOVE your LONG post? The longer is better
I LOVE your LONG post? The longer is better
Hi Safri - and hello to everyone else too!!
It's been a long time since I've posted here - but like you I do stop by and read often. Your post compels me to write as I feel much affinity with you...
I too have been involved with a Virgo man that I work with - you can get a bit of history from my posts from last year. While it may or may not have anything to do with star signs (that's for you Qbone! lol) - the situations are so similar. I'll update everyone...
When I first started posting - I had not had any relationship other than very close friendship/work with this man. He would sometimes tell me that he would never go out with me - yet the signals he sent were mixed. And sure enough - last summer we did start to go out. It seemed a disaster at the time. He didn't really seem sure or ready, I was insecure and confused and we did not communicate well about the situation. My intuition just screamed that it was all wrong and I ended up pushing him away. I handled it badly too and I ended up very hurt. While he never said so - I'm very sure he was too.
We are both adults, and did continue to work together. It was hard for me. Not so much that we let the personal stuff affect our working relationship too much - but I found it so very hard to be reminded daily of my 'failure' (remember I'm a Scorp and don't do failure well LOL). And behind the daily work stuff that was fine on the surface, we continued this' push/pull' thing where the personal stuff would occasionally appear and he would feel the need to reinforce again that he would never go out with me.
And yet - after all this - here we are dating again. I would in no way say that things are completely resolved - but we're 'trying this out'. Even more cautiously - if that is possible. But we know each other better now and have a better idea of what to expect so while we still tip-toe around each other's 'issues' it seems much better this time.
So.. the moral of this story is... Yes, you can date someone you work with, but think very carefully about whether or not you are both adult enough to handle it if it doesn't work out. And more importantly to you - and to hopefully answer your question - Virgos DO take a lot of time to decide what they want to do. I agree with Qbone and Miss Bovine. Don't put your life on hold for him. Continue to enjoy your life. It doesn't do any good for you to be waiting around - and it puts pressure on him that will surely cause him to back away. But if your heart says that this man is worth it and you are willing to stay 'available' while he makes up his mind then it is very possible that things will eventually progress to the type of relationship you desire. I can't say for sure - I'm not there yet either - but I have learned to be patient (at least on the surface!) and let things progress at his speed. When things went so badly last year I kept telling myself that if it was meant to be - then it would be! And in spite of everything the way things worked out may truly yet be for the best. I have learnt so much - but they were very hard lessons.
You do seem to have your feet on the ground - and I don't think you could force the situation if you tried - it would likely have the opposite effect. You are wise - and I'm sure you will learn and understand this 'Virgo' better as things progress. I hope this helps! And so far - I still think these Virgos are worth it! All the best to you.
ScorpGal
It's been a long time since I've posted here - but like you I do stop by and read often. Your post compels me to write as I feel much affinity with you...
I too have been involved with a Virgo man that I work with - you can get a bit of history from my posts from last year. While it may or may not have anything to do with star signs (that's for you Qbone! lol) - the situations are so similar. I'll update everyone...
When I first started posting - I had not had any relationship other than very close friendship/work with this man. He would sometimes tell me that he would never go out with me - yet the signals he sent were mixed. And sure enough - last summer we did start to go out. It seemed a disaster at the time. He didn't really seem sure or ready, I was insecure and confused and we did not communicate well about the situation. My intuition just screamed that it was all wrong and I ended up pushing him away. I handled it badly too and I ended up very hurt. While he never said so - I'm very sure he was too.
We are both adults, and did continue to work together. It was hard for me. Not so much that we let the personal stuff affect our working relationship too much - but I found it so very hard to be reminded daily of my 'failure' (remember I'm a Scorp and don't do failure well LOL). And behind the daily work stuff that was fine on the surface, we continued this' push/pull' thing where the personal stuff would occasionally appear and he would feel the need to reinforce again that he would never go out with me.
And yet - after all this - here we are dating again. I would in no way say that things are completely resolved - but we're 'trying this out'. Even more cautiously - if that is possible. But we know each other better now and have a better idea of what to expect so while we still tip-toe around each other's 'issues' it seems much better this time.
So.. the moral of this story is... Yes, you can date someone you work with, but think very carefully about whether or not you are both adult enough to handle it if it doesn't work out. And more importantly to you - and to hopefully answer your question - Virgos DO take a lot of time to decide what they want to do. I agree with Qbone and Miss Bovine. Don't put your life on hold for him. Continue to enjoy your life. It doesn't do any good for you to be waiting around - and it puts pressure on him that will surely cause him to back away. But if your heart says that this man is worth it and you are willing to stay 'available' while he makes up his mind then it is very possible that things will eventually progress to the type of relationship you desire. I can't say for sure - I'm not there yet either - but I have learned to be patient (at least on the surface!) and let things progress at his speed. When things went so badly last year I kept telling myself that if it was meant to be - then it would be! And in spite of everything the way things worked out may truly yet be for the best. I have learnt so much - but they were very hard lessons.
You do seem to have your feet on the ground - and I don't think you could force the situation if you tried - it would likely have the opposite effect. You are wise - and I'm sure you will learn and understand this 'Virgo' better as things progress. I hope this helps! And so far - I still think these Virgos are worth it! All the best to you.
ScorpGal
ScorpGal5,,,,?? ScorpGal5....!! Jesus lady... where have you've been hiding..??
I am not going to "advertising it" but I missed you.. really do? welcome back lady?. How's the life
and your life's adventure lately lady—
I am not going to "advertising it" but I missed you.. really do? welcome back lady?. How's the life
and your life's adventure lately lady—
I love smart minds.. you Scorpgal and safri... I am proud of your minds?. Really? love you both dearly?!
"am leaving everything up to him...if he wants more than friendship he is gonne have to literally tell me that....."
Safri?..! If someone like/love you let him work on it "the harder the better"?it is important very..! be yourself lady and enjoy your life..! and don?t forget yourself?! As I've said it before their (existence) depends on your (existence)?. No you? no them..!
You feelings and heart desires is most important here do not let anyone play with it?!
"am leaving everything up to him...if he wants more than friendship he is gonne have to literally tell me that....."
Safri?..! If someone like/love you let him work on it "the harder the better"?it is important very..! be yourself lady and enjoy your life..! and don?t forget yourself?! As I've said it before their (existence) depends on your (existence)?. No you? no them..!
You feelings and heart desires is most important here do not let anyone play with it?!
Thanks ScorpGal5 and Qbone,
ScorpGal5, I can so relate to how hard it is working with someone you're romantically interested in - me and my virgo (I call him mine, but his far from that yet!) went through a rough patch after he told me his not ready for a relationship which made it ten times worse working together, because you are constantly reminded of your personal issues. But, fortunately we got past that whole uncomfortable thing and got back to bing just great friends... that is until he kissed me...total confusion....
Strange how almost everyone on this board involved with a virgo in some way, has started out as being just friends which was then followed by total confusion and also, strange how a virgo (deemed to be much more in control of his feelings and emotion) are drawn to someone (like you, ScorpGal5) who can't really hide their feelings and emotion.....I am very much like that as well....wears my heart on my sleeve...
It seems to me that virgos (maybe more than others) also like to keep that back door open...they might have feelings for you and want more than friendship, but thay have to be 250% sure of it, before they commit to and admit it...they need loads and loads of time...we, on the other hand, are more sure of what we feel in a shorter time span and can admit it quicker....so maybe it just all comes down to timing? Who knows.....: )
I think the main thing with my virgo is the fact that next year he will be going away for a year to Australia and, in a way, he feels it will be unfair to me, for that matter, to start something now......i think that sometimes, even though he knows it's not right, he can't help showing that he cares for me maybe a little bit more than just a friend....i suppose he is just human....we all have our faults, so who are we to judge others.....saying that...it doesn't keep us from hurting....
: )
ScorpGal5, I can so relate to how hard it is working with someone you're romantically interested in - me and my virgo (I call him mine, but his far from that yet!) went through a rough patch after he told me his not ready for a relationship which made it ten times worse working together, because you are constantly reminded of your personal issues. But, fortunately we got past that whole uncomfortable thing and got back to bing just great friends... that is until he kissed me...total confusion....
Strange how almost everyone on this board involved with a virgo in some way, has started out as being just friends which was then followed by total confusion and also, strange how a virgo (deemed to be much more in control of his feelings and emotion) are drawn to someone (like you, ScorpGal5) who can't really hide their feelings and emotion.....I am very much like that as well....wears my heart on my sleeve...
It seems to me that virgos (maybe more than others) also like to keep that back door open...they might have feelings for you and want more than friendship, but thay have to be 250% sure of it, before they commit to and admit it...they need loads and loads of time...we, on the other hand, are more sure of what we feel in a shorter time span and can admit it quicker....so maybe it just all comes down to timing? Who knows.....: )
I think the main thing with my virgo is the fact that next year he will be going away for a year to Australia and, in a way, he feels it will be unfair to me, for that matter, to start something now......i think that sometimes, even though he knows it's not right, he can't help showing that he cares for me maybe a little bit more than just a friend....i suppose he is just human....we all have our faults, so who are we to judge others.....saying that...it doesn't keep us from hurting....
: )
I am also a Scorpio and involved with Virgo - it seems there are similar things going on here. I too am involved with a Virgo from the work place. But the beauty in this.... we don't work in the same building. He works maybe 8 miles from where my office is. It's a working area. So we don't run into each other at all at work. When we met he was in the same area as I was and he didn't want to see me then. As soon as he moved to his current location, that is when the pressure was off. We started to see each other over three years ago. I think alot depends on the maturity of the people involved. The only thing that I can say about it, it to keep it to yourself. And don't discuss it at work. I beg to differ about the sharing of feelings - there is nothing wrong with a hug or a pat every once in a while. It doesn't have to mean love but it shows there reassurance and caring to another person. Sometimes we hug or pat each other and there are times when he has pulled me into his arm and put his head on my shoulder. And that is a Virgo. I do think that everyone wants a degree of affection from time to time - nothing wrong with it at all. Sometimes it is a healing gesture to let a person know, "I'm Here".
Virgo/Scorpio pairings are good and they are good for each other, because of similar and because of some differences - these signs learn from each other. Scorpio learns to lighten up and enjoy - Scorpio also shows Virgo what the hidden depths are and Virgo shows Scorpio somethings are on the literal surface. These two signs bring comfort and security to each other as both take love and commitment very seriously - it is a relationship that is based on friendship and passion. It is also a relationship that over the long haul will get stronger. Both are loyal to work and to family --
Virgo/Scorpio pairings are good and they are good for each other, because of similar and because of some differences - these signs learn from each other. Scorpio learns to lighten up and enjoy - Scorpio also shows Virgo what the hidden depths are and Virgo shows Scorpio somethings are on the literal surface. These two signs bring comfort and security to each other as both take love and commitment very seriously - it is a relationship that is based on friendship and passion. It is also a relationship that over the long haul will get stronger. Both are loyal to work and to family --
What confounds me more than anything about a Virgo - it the mental process in which love is placed. Emotions. I think Virgo in their own way, feels them. But then starts a process of trying to either analyze or rationalize what and why they are feeling them. Love is an emotion. It is in the heart. The heart is not a logical tool and never will be. When I read these posts, I notice a lot of similar things being posted about being involved with a Virgo - so I am thinking I'm not the only one who has experienced these things. It's almost like Virgo wants 110% to be sure of someone. I don't think one can ever be sure of anything in life. We know there is one certainty and that's death. We will all die. There are no guarantees on anything. Since I have been involved with a Virgo, at first I felt a great deal of pressure to be the best, to convince, to be honest , to be truthful, and then after all this time, I realize that I was stressing myself out. I was made to feel like I wasn't good enough - but then I found myself again. And realized I was fine. That I was a good person and that I didn't have to put myself out for this man. But because of his insecurities and his doubts - it was all on him. I had to get to a point where I didn't care one way or the other about it. I wanted to take on his issues and couldn't. I had to work on me - I don't stress about it, because I am secure in my love for him and if he doesn't get it - then it's his loss, not mine. Virgo seems to mature later than most in this arena. After some hard knocks in the game of love. And when they do get it, sometimes it's too late.
I'm sorry I agree with Brahn, it is not that us Virgo's like to play games it is that we are cautious with our hearts. And sometimes a little fickle. As for me if a guy comes on too strong I am gone. It's not a game it is just that we prefer the stuttle aproach. We can be kind of prickly and have to handled with care. My advise to not to call him and be at his disposal. If you are calling all the time and people are making jokes about you too being together that will really bother him and make him feel cornered and if it one thing a Virgo does not like is other people pressuring them to do something,we have to do it on our own. So if he really likes you he will call you. But if he still acts aloof I would say he only likes you as a friend or as someone to boast his ego and make him feel good. Not to say that is a game but Virgo's tend to have people around them that boast there ego every now and then.
VirgoGirl - That sounds about right. I am Scorpio and we like subtle also. If you come on too strong for me - I am outta there. But you are so right, Virgos are cautious with their hearts. But then so is Scorpio. We will hide within ourselves to keep from being hurt...... hats off to Virgo, even tho' you guys do analyze too much. :-)
Hi Everyone,
I haven't written in a long time, but still often give the message boards a read. Some mite remember that I wrote a bit about a virgo guy that works with me and how, just as i thought something was gonna happen between us relationshipwise, he announced that him and his best friend was going to australia for a year as of March next year. Well, i resigned to the fact that we would just be good friends, and that's what we've been (well, he still kept confusing me on that point!).
Eversince I went home (South Africa) for a couple of weeks, he's been so different again. He offered to take me to the airport (I live half an hour from him and the airport is a further 2 hours away!) He came to pick me up again, and told me about 4 times how happy he is I'm back. Then, from not seeing each other out of work, he's come to pick me up to go play squash, and then the following week invited me over to see a neighbour's christmas lights - spend some time with his parents and then went for a couple of drinks afterwards. We're so much more comfortable with each other (His mum even bought me a christmas present)
When the australia thing comes up, he often says that he might not even stay a whole year, maybe only 4 months or so.....the time won't reallt be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that my visa runs out in September of next year, and I'll have to go back home! So I don't really know what to think.
I really want to be straight with him and ask him what's happening, but we're both the type of prson that won't bring things up, so it's like we always talk in this circle, never coming out with what we really want to say!
Our Staff Christmas party is coming up nxt thursday and he's told me I could get a lift home with his friend that's picking him up - he's dropped me off before. Though, I just know what's gonna happen - we're both going to be drinking, we'll be dancing together and probably be kissing - it's happened at the previous party we went to. I want it to be more, but how do i know if he wants it too. He's been so much more considerate lately, and we can just look at each other and smile - it's like we have this unspoken understanding of one another. It's killing me, feeling so close to him, but having no certainty of where we are....I play it very laid back and don't pressure him for one second, but March is coming closer and it just feels like the more I want something more definate to happen, the more scared i am of something actually happening and him having to go away.
What do you guys think?
I haven't written in a long time, but still often give the message boards a read. Some mite remember that I wrote a bit about a virgo guy that works with me and how, just as i thought something was gonna happen between us relationshipwise, he announced that him and his best friend was going to australia for a year as of March next year. Well, i resigned to the fact that we would just be good friends, and that's what we've been (well, he still kept confusing me on that point!).
Eversince I went home (South Africa) for a couple of weeks, he's been so different again. He offered to take me to the airport (I live half an hour from him and the airport is a further 2 hours away!) He came to pick me up again, and told me about 4 times how happy he is I'm back. Then, from not seeing each other out of work, he's come to pick me up to go play squash, and then the following week invited me over to see a neighbour's christmas lights - spend some time with his parents and then went for a couple of drinks afterwards. We're so much more comfortable with each other (His mum even bought me a christmas present)
When the australia thing comes up, he often says that he might not even stay a whole year, maybe only 4 months or so.....the time won't reallt be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that my visa runs out in September of next year, and I'll have to go back home! So I don't really know what to think.
I really want to be straight with him and ask him what's happening, but we're both the type of prson that won't bring things up, so it's like we always talk in this circle, never coming out with what we really want to say!
Our Staff Christmas party is coming up nxt thursday and he's told me I could get a lift home with his friend that's picking him up - he's dropped me off before. Though, I just know what's gonna happen - we're both going to be drinking, we'll be dancing together and probably be kissing - it's happened at the previous party we went to. I want it to be more, but how do i know if he wants it too. He's been so much more considerate lately, and we can just look at each other and smile - it's like we have this unspoken understanding of one another. It's killing me, feeling so close to him, but having no certainty of where we are....I play it very laid back and don't pressure him for one second, but March is coming closer and it just feels like the more I want something more definate to happen, the more scared i am of something actually happening and him having to go away.
What do you guys think?
An impatient bull? Noooo Safri... come on, you're making us look bad. No I'm only kidding. It's called eagerness... ummm yeah that 🙂 But even then keeping it laid back and laying no pressure, I think it's worked for you and will continue to work.
"it just feels like the more I want something more definate to happen, the more scared i am of something actually happening and him having to go away"
There's obvious chemistry... What's four months?
(question not meant to be answered but rather an implication of how insignificantly short a time span that is; therefore having minimal effect on the relationship) man I need to cut that out...
Anyway, now if it really will be a year then I think that nothing definite should happen. Yes, ok doesn't sound good... NOW but I think that initiating something more than what you two have right now would be futile since you'll be apart for so long. I say let things take their course... if he'll be gone so long, you'll each have to do your separate thing which doesn't mean you can't keep in touch and remain friends. My point being that if the chemistry is strong enough then you can take up where you left off when he gets back. HoWeVeR, time takes it's toll. Definite is no good with no certainty is how I basically see it. It's better not to hurt a relationship that may have future potential. Patience. Good Luck.
"it just feels like the more I want something more definate to happen, the more scared i am of something actually happening and him having to go away"
There's obvious chemistry... What's four months?
(question not meant to be answered but rather an implication of how insignificantly short a time span that is; therefore having minimal effect on the relationship) man I need to cut that out...
Anyway, now if it really will be a year then I think that nothing definite should happen. Yes, ok doesn't sound good... NOW but I think that initiating something more than what you two have right now would be futile since you'll be apart for so long. I say let things take their course... if he'll be gone so long, you'll each have to do your separate thing which doesn't mean you can't keep in touch and remain friends. My point being that if the chemistry is strong enough then you can take up where you left off when he gets back. HoWeVeR, time takes it's toll. Definite is no good with no certainty is how I basically see it. It's better not to hurt a relationship that may have future potential. Patience. Good Luck.
Safri - I read most of the posts on this subject and I have to agree with some of it.
The first thing is the rebound thing - keep in mind he was hurt by the ex girlfriend. He wanted a future with her. Now at this time in his life - make sure you are not just pumping up his ego right now. If you are friends, then keep it at that status for a while. I notice that some Virgos like for things to be their idea. Allow him time to heal -
At 25 - he is not ready for anything serious. So don't look for that. He may take years to make up his mind as to what he wants. Don't play into the minds games if that is what it is - I find that Virgos are not so much playing mind games, but testing you to see what your intentions are. In time he'll let you know the status of what he wants - but the question is - are you willing to wait?
Or will you tire of it and find someone whose not going to analyze everything you say and do?
My opinion is that he has not had enough time to get over his heartbreak. So just be careful. In dealing with a Virgo for several years - I find you never know what they are going to do until they do it. Because a lot is going on in that mind of theirs.
If a Virgo is mature - in some ways you by pass alot of these things - however I have often read it takes a Virgo male - sometime to grow up emotionally. After several hurts and let downs - sometimes they do get it.
The first thing is the rebound thing - keep in mind he was hurt by the ex girlfriend. He wanted a future with her. Now at this time in his life - make sure you are not just pumping up his ego right now. If you are friends, then keep it at that status for a while. I notice that some Virgos like for things to be their idea. Allow him time to heal -
At 25 - he is not ready for anything serious. So don't look for that. He may take years to make up his mind as to what he wants. Don't play into the minds games if that is what it is - I find that Virgos are not so much playing mind games, but testing you to see what your intentions are. In time he'll let you know the status of what he wants - but the question is - are you willing to wait?
Or will you tire of it and find someone whose not going to analyze everything you say and do?
My opinion is that he has not had enough time to get over his heartbreak. So just be careful. In dealing with a Virgo for several years - I find you never know what they are going to do until they do it. Because a lot is going on in that mind of theirs.
If a Virgo is mature - in some ways you by pass alot of these things - however I have often read it takes a Virgo male - sometime to grow up emotionally. After several hurts and let downs - sometimes they do get it.
Hello all,
Merry Christmas to everyone - hope you all have a beautiful day! I'm writing cause I feel so sad - I fear i have caused a rift between me and my virgo friend. Oh Glee...if only I have read your post again before I went and buggered it all up!! To explain - last thursday was our work xmas party - it started of really good - us all laughing and joking - me and my friend pulled a random cracker and what fell out? - a ring! so typical! He gave it to me and said it's mine to keep forever : ) Anyway, the only thing i wanted from the whole night was to have one dance with him - he apparently told my friend that he really liked me and that he was gonna ask me to dance at 11, but there were only dance music playing, no slow songs. Anyway, everyone kept asking us why I'm not going to australia with him - we both just hmm'ed and aah'ed, not really knowing what to say....anyway...11 came and all that happened was that we just all danced in a group....it was nice, but eventually i went and sat down, thinking that when one of the slow songs came up he'll come and ask me to dance - Unfortunately only one slow song played right at the end (Last Xmas by Wham) and he didn't come and ask me to dance. Anyway, i was getting a lift home with him and his friend (big mistake) cause when everything finished i went and stood outside and he just kept sitting inside chatting to these three other girls....don't think he even bothered lookinh if i was around (We were both pretty drunk)...So...you can just guess...he came out...me being drunk, i was all emotional, in tears (which virgos just hate!) he tried to hug me, but i felt so hurt that he didn't ask me to dance....he kept telling me that he begged the DJ to play one more song (and i did c him up there with the DJ) but he just said no...anyway...he said i sound like i WANTED him to dance with this other girl to which i said : It wouldn't have mattered if he danced with every single other person there, the point is he didn't ask ME to dance with him.
We were suppose to go walking one day this week (as we're both of work), but i told him we could just leave it if he didn't want to go, but he said he wanted to go (and if he didn't he'd say so), so when they dropped me off, he said we're definately going and he'd txted me.
However, the next morning he txted me about 11, saying he hopes i'm ok and sorry if he upset me. I replied that i'll be allrite, that he shouldn't worry, that all i wanted was to have one dance with him, but i suppose one can't always have what one wants and that i hope he feels ok and just to thank his friend for the lift. He then txted that he didn't understand, coz the 1 moment i was dancing and then went and sat down and when brian (a friend) called me to come dance i said no, but that he's sorry anyway. To which i replied: it wasn't brian i wanted to dance with, but that i should just get it through my thick head that he's never wanted to be more than friends, and I always have.....Then two minutes later i just txted i didn't mean to be rude, coz i thought i sounded a bit harsh. He then txted:" 🙂x ".
Anyway....didn't hear anything of him until 2day, as i just gave his mom a quick txt to thank her for my christmas present and i then txted him just saying merry xmas, and that i was sorry about the other day...i was just being childish. He txted back merry xmas, that he's glad i liked his mom's present, he thought i mite and not to worry about the other day, but he had to admit it annoyed him a little and that i should have a nice day 2day. I txted back that i felt really bad and didn't want to annoy him and hope he has a nice day 2day 2. Didn't get anything back.
I feel like i have just torn apart even the slightest possibillity of a relationship we had...and i definately doubt that he would still want to go walking this coming week.
I've decided just to let it go and face up to the fact that maybe it really would be better for me (and my hea
Merry Christmas to everyone - hope you all have a beautiful day! I'm writing cause I feel so sad - I fear i have caused a rift between me and my virgo friend. Oh Glee...if only I have read your post again before I went and buggered it all up!! To explain - last thursday was our work xmas party - it started of really good - us all laughing and joking - me and my friend pulled a random cracker and what fell out? - a ring! so typical! He gave it to me and said it's mine to keep forever : ) Anyway, the only thing i wanted from the whole night was to have one dance with him - he apparently told my friend that he really liked me and that he was gonna ask me to dance at 11, but there were only dance music playing, no slow songs. Anyway, everyone kept asking us why I'm not going to australia with him - we both just hmm'ed and aah'ed, not really knowing what to say....anyway...11 came and all that happened was that we just all danced in a group....it was nice, but eventually i went and sat down, thinking that when one of the slow songs came up he'll come and ask me to dance - Unfortunately only one slow song played right at the end (Last Xmas by Wham) and he didn't come and ask me to dance. Anyway, i was getting a lift home with him and his friend (big mistake) cause when everything finished i went and stood outside and he just kept sitting inside chatting to these three other girls....don't think he even bothered lookinh if i was around (We were both pretty drunk)...So...you can just guess...he came out...me being drunk, i was all emotional, in tears (which virgos just hate!) he tried to hug me, but i felt so hurt that he didn't ask me to dance....he kept telling me that he begged the DJ to play one more song (and i did c him up there with the DJ) but he just said no...anyway...he said i sound like i WANTED him to dance with this other girl to which i said : It wouldn't have mattered if he danced with every single other person there, the point is he didn't ask ME to dance with him.
We were suppose to go walking one day this week (as we're both of work), but i told him we could just leave it if he didn't want to go, but he said he wanted to go (and if he didn't he'd say so), so when they dropped me off, he said we're definately going and he'd txted me.
However, the next morning he txted me about 11, saying he hopes i'm ok and sorry if he upset me. I replied that i'll be allrite, that he shouldn't worry, that all i wanted was to have one dance with him, but i suppose one can't always have what one wants and that i hope he feels ok and just to thank his friend for the lift. He then txted that he didn't understand, coz the 1 moment i was dancing and then went and sat down and when brian (a friend) called me to come dance i said no, but that he's sorry anyway. To which i replied: it wasn't brian i wanted to dance with, but that i should just get it through my thick head that he's never wanted to be more than friends, and I always have.....Then two minutes later i just txted i didn't mean to be rude, coz i thought i sounded a bit harsh. He then txted:" 🙂x ".
Anyway....didn't hear anything of him until 2day, as i just gave his mom a quick txt to thank her for my christmas present and i then txted him just saying merry xmas, and that i was sorry about the other day...i was just being childish. He txted back merry xmas, that he's glad i liked his mom's present, he thought i mite and not to worry about the other day, but he had to admit it annoyed him a little and that i should have a nice day 2day. I txted back that i felt really bad and didn't want to annoy him and hope he has a nice day 2day 2. Didn't get anything back.
I feel like i have just torn apart even the slightest possibillity of a relationship we had...and i definately doubt that he would still want to go walking this coming week.
I've decided just to let it go and face up to the fact that maybe it really would be better for me (and my hea
Safri.
One small line, but if you get it you can change your world BIG TIME.
?Learn to forgive by practice forgiveness, and learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.?
Then you?ll decide what to do next and what ever is your decision is, good luck with it.
One small line, but if you get it you can change your world BIG TIME.
?Learn to forgive by practice forgiveness, and learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.?
Then you?ll decide what to do next and what ever is your decision is, good luck with it.
Safri,
I am sorry to hear that things aren't going well, but please do not panic! What has happened is past now and these are things that happen between all couples at some time or other. I must say that I am quite a bit older that you but still have emotional outbursts occasionally - they just happen. I too feel very foolish after for allowing myself to be that way, but it is just who I am.
In fact, I am in much the same position as you this morning 😢 ...
But my advise to you is not to make decisions on how you should proceed with the relationship at this point. As hard as it is - leave it be for now. Let him think about what has happened too. Please don't berate yourself for this - if the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
You are right - Virgos hate the emotional stuff, but that doesn't mean they expect their partners to always behave perfectly. In fact, I think in some way they are relieved to discover their partners are human - it means they can be human too and as they are so critical of themselves that actually helps. It's not something that you want to do all the time, but you are allowed to have confused emotions and as Virgos don't like to show theirs I get the feeling that they tend to confuse others often.
I suggest that you leave this topic alone with him for now. You can reassure him by just being as relaxed and as much like your old self as you can for the next while. I know - hard advise to follow, but trust me on this one 😉 ...
Hope this helps.
Scorpgal
I am sorry to hear that things aren't going well, but please do not panic! What has happened is past now and these are things that happen between all couples at some time or other. I must say that I am quite a bit older that you but still have emotional outbursts occasionally - they just happen. I too feel very foolish after for allowing myself to be that way, but it is just who I am.
In fact, I am in much the same position as you this morning 😢 ...
But my advise to you is not to make decisions on how you should proceed with the relationship at this point. As hard as it is - leave it be for now. Let him think about what has happened too. Please don't berate yourself for this - if the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
You are right - Virgos hate the emotional stuff, but that doesn't mean they expect their partners to always behave perfectly. In fact, I think in some way they are relieved to discover their partners are human - it means they can be human too and as they are so critical of themselves that actually helps. It's not something that you want to do all the time, but you are allowed to have confused emotions and as Virgos don't like to show theirs I get the feeling that they tend to confuse others often.
I suggest that you leave this topic alone with him for now. You can reassure him by just being as relaxed and as much like your old self as you can for the next while. I know - hard advise to follow, but trust me on this one 😉 ...
Hope this helps.
Scorpgal
Hello all,
*sigh* All that nice advice and in the end it turns out the decision isn't even mine to make....he txted me last night saying that he doesn't mind going walking this wek, but that he thinks it just makes things harder for me if we keep doing things together and he hopes i'm ok.
I replied that he was right (which he definately was) and, although i've kpt telling myself that, I am glad he's saying it too and that i should just let go of it all and thank you for his honesty....
He then txted that he just did not want to c me keep getting hurt...I then just said what i should've done a long time ago...I told him thank you and that it will hurt very much when he goes away and that he shouldn't hate me for this - I'm just gonna try and let go and not keep in contact, and he should promise me to not keep in contact as well, cause I know myself too well and that, because of the way I feel for him, I will never be able to be a proper friend to him and that I know he'll understand and that I'll never forget what a good friend he was to me....
He then replied: "Wow! Well ok I do understand and if that's what it's gonna take to make my life easier, he will do that for me. Hope your ok. C u at work xx"
I feel so sad and miserable after all this - cried most of last night - I'm losing such a good friend and, of course, the fact that that was all he probably saw in us, and there i ws falling completely in love with him, makes it ten times worse. In my life I'll just never understand how he could be such good friends and not see it as more...i mean, the things he sometines said and done, especially lately...coming round at work, always making sure i'm ok...txting me goodnite...txting me at 12 at night to say he hope work was ok (if i had some evening work)...telling me how much he's gonna miss me when he goes...that he didn't want to go anymore...all the conversations we had... we just clicked so much....
All I know is that it is impossible for me to be such good friends with someone...know them so well...and not feel more. It does feel like my heart just shattered into 50 000 pieces....how i absolutely HATE feeling this way...
I still have to c him at work though (starting the 3rd) and just cannot c us joking and laughing as normal....I just won't be able to share things with him and talk like we used to....it's gonna be agony, but i suppose people have gotten through worse. Just wish I'd never gotten to know him...
*sigh* All that nice advice and in the end it turns out the decision isn't even mine to make....he txted me last night saying that he doesn't mind going walking this wek, but that he thinks it just makes things harder for me if we keep doing things together and he hopes i'm ok.
I replied that he was right (which he definately was) and, although i've kpt telling myself that, I am glad he's saying it too and that i should just let go of it all and thank you for his honesty....
He then txted that he just did not want to c me keep getting hurt...I then just said what i should've done a long time ago...I told him thank you and that it will hurt very much when he goes away and that he shouldn't hate me for this - I'm just gonna try and let go and not keep in contact, and he should promise me to not keep in contact as well, cause I know myself too well and that, because of the way I feel for him, I will never be able to be a proper friend to him and that I know he'll understand and that I'll never forget what a good friend he was to me....
He then replied: "Wow! Well ok I do understand and if that's what it's gonna take to make my life easier, he will do that for me. Hope your ok. C u at work xx"
I feel so sad and miserable after all this - cried most of last night - I'm losing such a good friend and, of course, the fact that that was all he probably saw in us, and there i ws falling completely in love with him, makes it ten times worse. In my life I'll just never understand how he could be such good friends and not see it as more...i mean, the things he sometines said and done, especially lately...coming round at work, always making sure i'm ok...txting me goodnite...txting me at 12 at night to say he hope work was ok (if i had some evening work)...telling me how much he's gonna miss me when he goes...that he didn't want to go anymore...all the conversations we had... we just clicked so much....
All I know is that it is impossible for me to be such good friends with someone...know them so well...and not feel more. It does feel like my heart just shattered into 50 000 pieces....how i absolutely HATE feeling this way...
I still have to c him at work though (starting the 3rd) and just cannot c us joking and laughing as normal....I just won't be able to share things with him and talk like we used to....it's gonna be agony, but i suppose people have gotten through worse. Just wish I'd never gotten to know him...
Ahhh..
Ease up a bit on yourself lady and give some time to yourself.... you are scattered in 1000 miles radius?
Here.. nothing is lost.. you guys are just confused, and misunderstood each others feelings
Some personality facts about virgo partner should help you to draw a line when it is necessary and these are most correct about most virgo.
+++++++++
The Virgo partner
Virgo's sensual needs are often deep and powerful. Their sensitivity and delicacy make them aware of another person's needs in a very acute way which hastier signs don't notice. But Virgos can take a long time to really fall in love. They're not easily fooled by a pretty face or a beautiful body. They think too much and know too much.
The Virgo partner needs to communicate, and work is terribly important. Virgos frequently identify with their jobs and validate themselves according to how well they fulfil their own expectations. If you don't share their interest in work, or show a willingness to talk about the things that are important to them, Virgo can get pretty bored with even the most sexually exciting partner. Emotion and sexuality aren't enough to hold a Virgo's heart. There has to be a meeting of minds.
Virgos like instruction manuals. They'll try anything if it's explained in clear, easy-to- understand steps. Take the instructions away and they often panic. They always read the handbook first, and this makes them terrifyingly competent in almost any sphere of life they choose to explore.
Unfortunately there aren't any instruction manuals for how to deal with love and passion (although there are lots that pretend to be). It's not surprising that so many Virgos are terrified of what they perceive as the dangerous lunacy of falling in love. You'll find many apparently cool and unromantic Virgos, sexually skilled but emotionally withdrawn, who tell you that doing it every night is good for you, but who won't ever utter that scary four- letter word beginning with "L".
Wild moonlit love-at-first-sight encounters aren't Virgo's style . They observe the world too much to take such encounters seriously. And they don't like gambling. Gambling with instantaneous passion can be hurtful and disillusioning. Some Virgos go cold and shut out anyone to whom they're too attracted, because they mistrust anything sudden, uncontrollable or unexplainable.
Of course, you'll sometimes find a really wild Virgo who seems to break the mould. But look closely. You'll usually find that their heart hasn't really been touched. Love, for Virgo, is something that takes time, knowledge, and careful nurturing. In the end, they'll choose the reliable over the flamboyant.
Virgos are realists. You can see this in their tastes, their furnishings and their working life. The useful, the safe, the knowable, the things of quality, are always preferable to the gaudy, the temporarily fashionable, the unreliable, the "cheap and cheerful". It can be a terrible bore or, tempered with a little humour and a sense of fun, it can give a quality of understanding, warmth and wisdom which is powerfully magnetic and highly attractive. The operative word here is "fun". The Virgo partner may need your help in learning the word.
Earthbound Virgos often starve themselves of sheer joy in life. They want it badly, but they're afraid they'll have to pay too high a price for it. Virgo people can often be seen with long lists of what must be done each day. Play is not included on the list. Virgos often choose a partner who embodies all the frivolity, unpredictability and "selfishness" (this is a favourite Virgo word) they won't allow themselves.
If you're the dashing, unreliable fiery type who seems to have a secret pact with the gods and actually gambles with life rather than displaying due caution, you're likely to be a magnet for a Virgo partner. That doesn't mean it's a union made in heaven. Either the Virgo partner l
Ease up a bit on yourself lady and give some time to yourself.... you are scattered in 1000 miles radius?
Here.. nothing is lost.. you guys are just confused, and misunderstood each others feelings
Some personality facts about virgo partner should help you to draw a line when it is necessary and these are most correct about most virgo.
+++++++++
The Virgo partner
Virgo's sensual needs are often deep and powerful. Their sensitivity and delicacy make them aware of another person's needs in a very acute way which hastier signs don't notice. But Virgos can take a long time to really fall in love. They're not easily fooled by a pretty face or a beautiful body. They think too much and know too much.
The Virgo partner needs to communicate, and work is terribly important. Virgos frequently identify with their jobs and validate themselves according to how well they fulfil their own expectations. If you don't share their interest in work, or show a willingness to talk about the things that are important to them, Virgo can get pretty bored with even the most sexually exciting partner. Emotion and sexuality aren't enough to hold a Virgo's heart. There has to be a meeting of minds.
Virgos like instruction manuals. They'll try anything if it's explained in clear, easy-to- understand steps. Take the instructions away and they often panic. They always read the handbook first, and this makes them terrifyingly competent in almost any sphere of life they choose to explore.
Unfortunately there aren't any instruction manuals for how to deal with love and passion (although there are lots that pretend to be). It's not surprising that so many Virgos are terrified of what they perceive as the dangerous lunacy of falling in love. You'll find many apparently cool and unromantic Virgos, sexually skilled but emotionally withdrawn, who tell you that doing it every night is good for you, but who won't ever utter that scary four- letter word beginning with "L".
Wild moonlit love-at-first-sight encounters aren't Virgo's style . They observe the world too much to take such encounters seriously. And they don't like gambling. Gambling with instantaneous passion can be hurtful and disillusioning. Some Virgos go cold and shut out anyone to whom they're too attracted, because they mistrust anything sudden, uncontrollable or unexplainable.
Of course, you'll sometimes find a really wild Virgo who seems to break the mould. But look closely. You'll usually find that their heart hasn't really been touched. Love, for Virgo, is something that takes time, knowledge, and careful nurturing. In the end, they'll choose the reliable over the flamboyant.
Virgos are realists. You can see this in their tastes, their furnishings and their working life. The useful, the safe, the knowable, the things of quality, are always preferable to the gaudy, the temporarily fashionable, the unreliable, the "cheap and cheerful". It can be a terrible bore or, tempered with a little humour and a sense of fun, it can give a quality of understanding, warmth and wisdom which is powerfully magnetic and highly attractive. The operative word here is "fun". The Virgo partner may need your help in learning the word.
Earthbound Virgos often starve themselves of sheer joy in life. They want it badly, but they're afraid they'll have to pay too high a price for it. Virgo people can often be seen with long lists of what must be done each day. Play is not included on the list. Virgos often choose a partner who embodies all the frivolity, unpredictability and "selfishness" (this is a favourite Virgo word) they won't allow themselves.
If you're the dashing, unreliable fiery type who seems to have a secret pact with the gods and actually gambles with life rather than displaying due caution, you're likely to be a magnet for a Virgo partner. That doesn't mean it's a union made in heaven. Either the Virgo partner l
Now please read it carefully and selectively?you just doing fine?
And some about yourself?
The Taurus partner
Taurus is a very physical sign. It's a rare Taurean who doesn't possess a strong, intense desire nature. Even Taureans who fear intimacy (perhaps because they've been badly hurt in early life) will still display their innate sensuousness - through affectionate touching and an intense response to anything that's nice to touch, beautiful to look at, pleasant to hear, delicious to taste or lovely to smell. The Bull loves beauty, and can be astonishingly sybaritic. The ascetic approach doesn't go over well, unless you've found one of those more spiritually inclined Taureans (and there are quite a few around) for whom inner peace and serenity count for more than external comfort.
For many Taureans, the sexual side of love takes priority. Where there's good sex, Taurus remains. If Taureans choose to be faithful, they're very faithful. If they don't, they'll pursue their sensual pleasures on the side, enjoying themselves but never allowing such escapades to interfere with the stability of a solid relationship. Stability is really important to Taurus. But keeping a Taurus partner happy means you have to avoid sexual games of the now-you-can-have-me-now-you-can't variety. Your Taurean will simply find someone more available.
The Taurus partner can be very romantic. It's good old storybook romanticism, because this sign can be very conventional, and the old time-honoured rituals and ways work best. Taureans keep their promises, don't promise unless they're sure, and aren't sure until they've checked all the facts, including your bank balance and the history of your family. No, that may not seem very romantic. But Taurean romanticism, although sometimes outweighed by common sense, is genuine. They really believe in engagement rings, white wedding dresses and honeymoons. The Taurus partner remembers birthdays and anniversaries, and expects you to remember as well.
Taureans like to give real, solid gifts to demonstrate their love. This is both flattering and reassuring, even when the gift is something frighteningly useful (like an ironing board or a new cordless drill). If you're the more emotive type who craves a flamboyant verbal outpouring of affection, remember that expressing real, raw feelings doesn't come easily to this cautious, sensible sign. If you get too insistent with your demands, that Taurean contentment will slide into a deep, smouldering discontent.
Often a strong sense of responsibility, coupled with a deep need for security, will keep the Taurus partner in a relationship which has long since lost its charm. Taureans can be poignantly gentle, tender and affectionate. They don't get angry easily. Push them too hard, though, or destroy their serenity with too many emotional crises, and you'll be astonished at just how volcanic Taurean anger can be.
You may have heard about the famous Taurean possessiveness. This is indeed a possessive sign, and the Taurus partner will often demonstrate this in public by physical gestures of the property-ownership variety. Choose another sign if you want a detached, cool, unpredictable or "open" sort of relationship - unless you're prepared to enjoy an intermittent affair and can accept the fact that your Taurean lover has a steady relationship at home.
For loyalty and steadfastness, no one beats a Taurus. For calmness verging on complacency, too, no one beats a Taurus. So, although keeping the Taurus partner insecure is not a good idea, periodically introducing new elements into your life together can help to keep things alive and moving.
Taureans are often attracted to fiery temperaments who possess the daring, childlike abandon, imagination and rashness that they themselves don't dare express. While they need stability, they also need inspiration.
And some about yourself?
The Taurus partner
Taurus is a very physical sign. It's a rare Taurean who doesn't possess a strong, intense desire nature. Even Taureans who fear intimacy (perhaps because they've been badly hurt in early life) will still display their innate sensuousness - through affectionate touching and an intense response to anything that's nice to touch, beautiful to look at, pleasant to hear, delicious to taste or lovely to smell. The Bull loves beauty, and can be astonishingly sybaritic. The ascetic approach doesn't go over well, unless you've found one of those more spiritually inclined Taureans (and there are quite a few around) for whom inner peace and serenity count for more than external comfort.
For many Taureans, the sexual side of love takes priority. Where there's good sex, Taurus remains. If Taureans choose to be faithful, they're very faithful. If they don't, they'll pursue their sensual pleasures on the side, enjoying themselves but never allowing such escapades to interfere with the stability of a solid relationship. Stability is really important to Taurus. But keeping a Taurus partner happy means you have to avoid sexual games of the now-you-can-have-me-now-you-can't variety. Your Taurean will simply find someone more available.
The Taurus partner can be very romantic. It's good old storybook romanticism, because this sign can be very conventional, and the old time-honoured rituals and ways work best. Taureans keep their promises, don't promise unless they're sure, and aren't sure until they've checked all the facts, including your bank balance and the history of your family. No, that may not seem very romantic. But Taurean romanticism, although sometimes outweighed by common sense, is genuine. They really believe in engagement rings, white wedding dresses and honeymoons. The Taurus partner remembers birthdays and anniversaries, and expects you to remember as well.
Taureans like to give real, solid gifts to demonstrate their love. This is both flattering and reassuring, even when the gift is something frighteningly useful (like an ironing board or a new cordless drill). If you're the more emotive type who craves a flamboyant verbal outpouring of affection, remember that expressing real, raw feelings doesn't come easily to this cautious, sensible sign. If you get too insistent with your demands, that Taurean contentment will slide into a deep, smouldering discontent.
Often a strong sense of responsibility, coupled with a deep need for security, will keep the Taurus partner in a relationship which has long since lost its charm. Taureans can be poignantly gentle, tender and affectionate. They don't get angry easily. Push them too hard, though, or destroy their serenity with too many emotional crises, and you'll be astonished at just how volcanic Taurean anger can be.
You may have heard about the famous Taurean possessiveness. This is indeed a possessive sign, and the Taurus partner will often demonstrate this in public by physical gestures of the property-ownership variety. Choose another sign if you want a detached, cool, unpredictable or "open" sort of relationship - unless you're prepared to enjoy an intermittent affair and can accept the fact that your Taurean lover has a steady relationship at home.
For loyalty and steadfastness, no one beats a Taurus. For calmness verging on complacency, too, no one beats a Taurus. So, although keeping the Taurus partner insecure is not a good idea, periodically introducing new elements into your life together can help to keep things alive and moving.
Taureans are often attracted to fiery temperaments who possess the daring, childlike abandon, imagination and rashness that they themselves don't dare express. While they need stability, they also need inspiration.
Give some space and please be loyal to each other at this stage?.. One wrong move could be disaster.
And for God sake?.!
Stop texting and start meeting or talking even ON PHONE?.! They say ?you?ll have to read between the lines?.
In texting.. There is ?empty space? between the lines that no one can read it, only live talking and meeting in person reveal the body language and facial expression.. even voice is damn important.
Good luck to you.
🙂
And for God sake?.!
Stop texting and start meeting or talking even ON PHONE?.! They say ?you?ll have to read between the lines?.
In texting.. There is ?empty space? between the lines that no one can read it, only live talking and meeting in person reveal the body language and facial expression.. even voice is damn important.
Good luck to you.
🙂
Thank you Qbone,
But what i don't understand is this....or this is how i think things are....for him I have always been a really good friend, even though the times weve spent together, expecially recently, feels like more than friendship...how he looks at me, how thoughtful he is (he would immediatly pick up if i'm not looking happy and asks what's wrong), what we talk about...everyone at work thinks we should be together....constantly saying why aren't i going to australia with him (maybe not good pressuring a virgo this way), but it's like everyone else can see what we have, except him! I know he was heartbroken when his g/f ended it last year, but he's told me that he's well over her (it's been more than a year) and I've never pressured him into anything - the things he tells me and showing he cares all come from him.
Obviously, though, my idea of friendship and his idea of it is completely different...
To me now..him saying that we shouldn't keep spending time together cause it just makes it harder for me is very definate in meaning that he's never wanted more than friendship and that it basically just came from me...I don't think his words meant anything else, as virgos, i believe, and definately this virgo, never, or very rarely, do or say things that they don't sincerely mean....
It so breaks my heart losing him as a friend, but i just can't go on as friends feeling about him the way i do - i honestly can't believe i'm losing the person i've been the closest to for a very long time....just want to go crawl underneath a rock somewhere, fall asleep, and when i wake up everything will be over and i'll feel happy again....how is it possible for one to feel so unhappy....
But what i don't understand is this....or this is how i think things are....for him I have always been a really good friend, even though the times weve spent together, expecially recently, feels like more than friendship...how he looks at me, how thoughtful he is (he would immediatly pick up if i'm not looking happy and asks what's wrong), what we talk about...everyone at work thinks we should be together....constantly saying why aren't i going to australia with him (maybe not good pressuring a virgo this way), but it's like everyone else can see what we have, except him! I know he was heartbroken when his g/f ended it last year, but he's told me that he's well over her (it's been more than a year) and I've never pressured him into anything - the things he tells me and showing he cares all come from him.
Obviously, though, my idea of friendship and his idea of it is completely different...
To me now..him saying that we shouldn't keep spending time together cause it just makes it harder for me is very definate in meaning that he's never wanted more than friendship and that it basically just came from me...I don't think his words meant anything else, as virgos, i believe, and definately this virgo, never, or very rarely, do or say things that they don't sincerely mean....
It so breaks my heart losing him as a friend, but i just can't go on as friends feeling about him the way i do - i honestly can't believe i'm losing the person i've been the closest to for a very long time....just want to go crawl underneath a rock somewhere, fall asleep, and when i wake up everything will be over and i'll feel happy again....how is it possible for one to feel so unhappy....
? ?how is it possible for one to feel so unhappy....?
Tell me about it, and I?ll give my own experience in this field?. These ?stupid things? happen and we?re suppose to learn from it and we say next time I won?t do this again.
And when ?next time? happen we do the same thing again?? It?s very human nature, few of us will ever learn from previous mistakes.
? ?Obviously, though, my idea of friendship and his idea of it is completely different...?
I?ve said it at least 10000 times that relation and friendship between ?male and male? or ?female and female? are different than ?male and female?, the results are special feelings, intimacy that will end up in love relationship for ?x? amount of time.
Friendship between male and female is not possible. Have you ever shared your ideas, visions about your future as couple with him..??
Don?t be afraid that it might scare him, as personality analysis above says Virgos don?t like mind game, gesture, assumptions, etc. , don?t expect people be mind reader; if you don?t talk they wouldn?t know. Most of us are straight and would like to see direction clearly especially from close and loved one?. Putting Virgo in assumption mood is a sure way to kill the relationship.
I strongly advice you to talk with him in a very intelligent and serious manner (without giving any ultimatum).Your profound feelings about yourself, him and your possible future are important to be noticed, don?t be afraid to open yourself up.
Either ways, at worst he?ll be out of your life for good in couple days but at best you?ll be sure that he is gone and better you?ll get rid of this heartache and adversity that has bugged you for sometimes and will ruin your cheerful humour for weeks to come.
Again, Good luck lady.
Note.
Keep your dignity and don?t act like love beggar please. There will be better days for you and life has not ended, it?s just a beginning lady and you?ll have looooooong way to go.
Either ways, at worst he?ll be out of your life for good in couple days but at best you?ll be sure that he is gone and better you?ll get rid of this heartache and adversity that has bugged you for sometimes and will ruin your cheerful humour for weeks to come.
Again, Good luck lady.
Note.
Keep your dignity and don?t act like love beggar please. There will be better days for you and life has not ended, it?s just a beginning lady and you?ll have looooooong way to go.
Safri,
So you hit a bit of a roadblock... Get right back on that horse and keep being the great friends you were! Why can't you be friends? That's how relationships should start! There should be more flirting and less of the emotional, pressuring-type stuff deal that's going on. Go back to work with a big cheezer and put the incident past... Whatever he says or when he mentions it, wave it off as a pathetic moment.
You're sad because he showed no interest in more than being friends and because he wants to end the friendship but you have to realize this: He's thinking 'geez we're not even together and look at all the heartache' How can he feel good about that? He doesn't. So mine as well end it, from his perspective. Atleast I wouldn't be comfortable with a serious approach unless it's an aCtUaL relationship.
He mentions you like him simply tell him that you've realized that it's nothing that you can't get over in order to preserve such a nice friendship 🙂 A smile and a pat on the back. That should strike a chord >=) ha ha Or you can come out and say it straight out. Be yourself, be happy, be aloof around him. Dismiss any comments from others about you two being together, no uhumms ahemmms, no, none of that. I suspect all that pressure has gotten to him.
Now if it's you who wants it to end it that's different. Whatever hurts less, whatever is best for you. Anyway he's still leaving and that'll give your soul a rest from all the pain and sadness and eventually land you a clear head and clear thinking. Cheer up chic, we've all gone through that... and then past it.
Good luck and lots of love.
So you hit a bit of a roadblock... Get right back on that horse and keep being the great friends you were! Why can't you be friends? That's how relationships should start! There should be more flirting and less of the emotional, pressuring-type stuff deal that's going on. Go back to work with a big cheezer and put the incident past... Whatever he says or when he mentions it, wave it off as a pathetic moment.
You're sad because he showed no interest in more than being friends and because he wants to end the friendship but you have to realize this: He's thinking 'geez we're not even together and look at all the heartache' How can he feel good about that? He doesn't. So mine as well end it, from his perspective. Atleast I wouldn't be comfortable with a serious approach unless it's an aCtUaL relationship.
He mentions you like him simply tell him that you've realized that it's nothing that you can't get over in order to preserve such a nice friendship 🙂 A smile and a pat on the back. That should strike a chord >=) ha ha Or you can come out and say it straight out. Be yourself, be happy, be aloof around him. Dismiss any comments from others about you two being together, no uhumms ahemmms, no, none of that. I suspect all that pressure has gotten to him.
Now if it's you who wants it to end it that's different. Whatever hurts less, whatever is best for you. Anyway he's still leaving and that'll give your soul a rest from all the pain and sadness and eventually land you a clear head and clear thinking. Cheer up chic, we've all gone through that... and then past it.
Good luck and lots of love.
Hello all,
Thanks Qbone and tauruschic, u know, i read what you write and it's like it is the exact advice I would've given anyone else in my situation! I'm usually good at giving advice to others, but when it comes to myself i couldn't be any worse.
All i kept thinking about is that in this whole year that's gone by I have gone from a great friendship to falling in love, but for him, even though there's been moments where the line of friendship's been crossed, mostly it might've just been feelings of a really good friendship. And I know I have probably made this big emotional scene about the whole thing now asking him not to txt and saying i won't either (the fact that he replied with:"Wow" afterwards made it clear he obviously didn't expect that much fuss). But then he also said he understands and he would do that for me - he didn't say do i think it's really necessary or he really didn't want to lose my friendship or something like that. So, even though i know he cares and thinks a lot of me, our friendship couldn't have meant that very much if he's letting it go that easily (And there he was once telling me how much he thinks of us as he talks to me about stuff that he doesn't talk about with he's best friends even...which he's known since school).
"He's thinking 'geez we're not even together and look at all the heartache' How can he feel good about that?"
I smiled when i read this, tauruschic, and feel so stupid in a way, because that is so what i wanted to avoid and i think that is exactly what he must've been thinking! But then i think, I can't help feeling the way i do....i know for sure that he knew how i felt about him anyway, considering things that has happened earlier in the year. Usually i am so practical, straightforward and logical...i think that's what got our friendship started...but unfortunately i do have moments that i am emotional....but only because i feel so insecure about the whole situation and confused by him most of the time...if he could just come out straight and say exactly how he saw us, either being just friends or maybe something more, but that he was unsure too with him going away etc. I would be able to deal with things much much better!
I can't believe how different things were at the start of the year....he's best friend telling me how crazy he was about me and how he send me a photo of my name in the sand when he went on holiday to Spain....and there was me being the careful one then! everything was just great till he told me he was going to australia!
"Don?t be afraid that it might scare him, as personality analysis above says Virgos don?t like mind game, gesture, assumptions, etc. , don?t expect people be mind reader; if you don?t talk they wouldn?t know."
Qbone,I dont think i should bring this whole thing up again with him, as I've said how i feel and don't want to come across as needy or clingy (that is if i haven't already!!) After everything this year, if he has not gone to the trrouble to as much as bring it up even in the most remote way then i think i am very safe in assuming that he honestly does not want to be more than friends, even though it might've crossed his mind in the past. What do you think?
I would love to just be good mates again, but as anyone in my situation must feel, if you're the one madly in love it just is not possible to switch to just friendship like that.....it's only possible if it's the other one that feels more and not you 🙂
These last couple of weeks we have made such a thing about snow this winter (we're in the UK) and this morning i woke up and it had snowed last night....now i cant even share with him how beautiful it looks 😢
"Anyway he's still leaving and that'll give your soul a rest from all the pain and sadness and eventually land you a clear head and clear thinking. Cheer up chic, we've all gone through that... and then past it."
Yeah I know i'm not the only, and
Thanks Qbone and tauruschic, u know, i read what you write and it's like it is the exact advice I would've given anyone else in my situation! I'm usually good at giving advice to others, but when it comes to myself i couldn't be any worse.
All i kept thinking about is that in this whole year that's gone by I have gone from a great friendship to falling in love, but for him, even though there's been moments where the line of friendship's been crossed, mostly it might've just been feelings of a really good friendship. And I know I have probably made this big emotional scene about the whole thing now asking him not to txt and saying i won't either (the fact that he replied with:"Wow" afterwards made it clear he obviously didn't expect that much fuss). But then he also said he understands and he would do that for me - he didn't say do i think it's really necessary or he really didn't want to lose my friendship or something like that. So, even though i know he cares and thinks a lot of me, our friendship couldn't have meant that very much if he's letting it go that easily (And there he was once telling me how much he thinks of us as he talks to me about stuff that he doesn't talk about with he's best friends even...which he's known since school).
"He's thinking 'geez we're not even together and look at all the heartache' How can he feel good about that?"
I smiled when i read this, tauruschic, and feel so stupid in a way, because that is so what i wanted to avoid and i think that is exactly what he must've been thinking! But then i think, I can't help feeling the way i do....i know for sure that he knew how i felt about him anyway, considering things that has happened earlier in the year. Usually i am so practical, straightforward and logical...i think that's what got our friendship started...but unfortunately i do have moments that i am emotional....but only because i feel so insecure about the whole situation and confused by him most of the time...if he could just come out straight and say exactly how he saw us, either being just friends or maybe something more, but that he was unsure too with him going away etc. I would be able to deal with things much much better!
I can't believe how different things were at the start of the year....he's best friend telling me how crazy he was about me and how he send me a photo of my name in the sand when he went on holiday to Spain....and there was me being the careful one then! everything was just great till he told me he was going to australia!
"Don?t be afraid that it might scare him, as personality analysis above says Virgos don?t like mind game, gesture, assumptions, etc. , don?t expect people be mind reader; if you don?t talk they wouldn?t know."
Qbone,I dont think i should bring this whole thing up again with him, as I've said how i feel and don't want to come across as needy or clingy (that is if i haven't already!!) After everything this year, if he has not gone to the trrouble to as much as bring it up even in the most remote way then i think i am very safe in assuming that he honestly does not want to be more than friends, even though it might've crossed his mind in the past. What do you think?
I would love to just be good mates again, but as anyone in my situation must feel, if you're the one madly in love it just is not possible to switch to just friendship like that.....it's only possible if it's the other one that feels more and not you 🙂
These last couple of weeks we have made such a thing about snow this winter (we're in the UK) and this morning i woke up and it had snowed last night....now i cant even share with him how beautiful it looks 😢
"Anyway he's still leaving and that'll give your soul a rest from all the pain and sadness and eventually land you a clear head and clear thinking. Cheer up chic, we've all gone through that... and then past it."
Yeah I know i'm not the only, and
?I would love to just be good mates again, but as anyone in my situation must feel, if you're the one madly in love it just is not possible to switch to just friendship like that.....it's only possible if it's the other one that feels more and not you?.
So true?. I am sorry to hear this happened to you in this way and especially in this time of the year, but you are right, when its broken, its broken, friendship is not necessary at this moment when there was a matter of ?all or nothing at all? this will only open the old wounds.
😢
But, lady you have an ocean of possibilities in front of you, try to deal with the past rationally and welcome the future with open mind, arms, heart and passion.
I wish you a great year ahead with tons of nice and great challenge.
Please do remember: only YOU can bring back smile in your lips and heart try to focus on this.
So true?. I am sorry to hear this happened to you in this way and especially in this time of the year, but you are right, when its broken, its broken, friendship is not necessary at this moment when there was a matter of ?all or nothing at all? this will only open the old wounds.
😢
But, lady you have an ocean of possibilities in front of you, try to deal with the past rationally and welcome the future with open mind, arms, heart and passion.
I wish you a great year ahead with tons of nice and great challenge.
Please do remember: only YOU can bring back smile in your lips and heart try to focus on this.
"Thanks Qbone and tauruschic, u know, i read what you write and it's like it is the exact advice I would've given anyone else in my situation! I'm usually good at giving advice to others, but when it comes to myself i couldn't be any worse."
Ha ha I'm the exact same way 🙂 That's why I like the whole 'Do as I say, Not as I do' lol. I get you chic, emotions do get in the way of clear thinking that's why you need a break afterwards... Then you're like, "What the hell was that tc?!" At the moment we're only concerned (not exactly concerned it just kinda pours out) with how we feel but we totally forget how the other person may feel or think or react. I've been there a couple of times... eeeeek eat me Earth plzzzzz, then I don't care once I'm over it... it's all normal is how I see it and I want the subject dropped, dead, forgotten, stomped on, gone! I only care about today and tomorrow. Yes, sometimes the today is crappy but what will you do to make it better? You think of something smart... I just mope around and sleep through my misery... that is NOT advice 🙂
Ha ha I'm the exact same way 🙂 That's why I like the whole 'Do as I say, Not as I do' lol. I get you chic, emotions do get in the way of clear thinking that's why you need a break afterwards... Then you're like, "What the hell was that tc?!" At the moment we're only concerned (not exactly concerned it just kinda pours out) with how we feel but we totally forget how the other person may feel or think or react. I've been there a couple of times... eeeeek eat me Earth plzzzzz, then I don't care once I'm over it... it's all normal is how I see it and I want the subject dropped, dead, forgotten, stomped on, gone! I only care about today and tomorrow. Yes, sometimes the today is crappy but what will you do to make it better? You think of something smart... I just mope around and sleep through my misery... that is NOT advice 🙂
Hello everyone,
Just wanted to say thank you for all your advice - it meant so much to me just to be able to write about everything - it really made me feel better.
As for the future - who knows, we shall see 🙂
Also, HotScorp1, i meant to ask, you said you were almost in a similar situation as me the other day - what happened in your case?
Safri x
Just wanted to say thank you for all your advice - it meant so much to me just to be able to write about everything - it really made me feel better.
As for the future - who knows, we shall see 🙂
Also, HotScorp1, i meant to ask, you said you were almost in a similar situation as me the other day - what happened in your case?
Safri x
From my old blog....
When we consciously explore our feelings and develop a clear focus about them, we can release our attachment to the past and create a greater sense of freedom in our lives. Rather than allowing ourselves to be influenced by our past experiences and allow echoes of pain or trauma to colour our present-day experiences, we can choose to pause and think about what is really happening within us.
By becoming aware of the connection between our past experiences and our present actions, we can choose to act in ways that will benefit us now, rather than reacting to old pain.
By tuning into your inner self and getting clear on where your feelings stem from, you can develop a stronger focus in your life and make changes that will benefit everyone.
Good luck to you lady........
When we consciously explore our feelings and develop a clear focus about them, we can release our attachment to the past and create a greater sense of freedom in our lives. Rather than allowing ourselves to be influenced by our past experiences and allow echoes of pain or trauma to colour our present-day experiences, we can choose to pause and think about what is really happening within us.
By becoming aware of the connection between our past experiences and our present actions, we can choose to act in ways that will benefit us now, rather than reacting to old pain.
By tuning into your inner self and getting clear on where your feelings stem from, you can develop a stronger focus in your life and make changes that will benefit everyone.
Good luck to you lady........
"By tuning into your inner self and getting clear on where your feelings stem from"
I do this all the time and hate it! I do it while I'm feeling whatever... I ask myself, "Why exactly am I feeling ____ ?" and then I answer myself: "I'm lying to myself... THIS is the real reason for..."
And I've discovered that the vast majority of times we're lying to ourselves about the real reasons of why we feel the way we do. We always know what's wrong, we always know what we should do...
Then when we answer ourselves it's harsh but sometimes it makes us see that something is really not so important... actually many times we're just letting our emotions get the best of us...
Point is that once you get a clear understanding it's like seeing the whole world right before you and life is suddenly just life and what you should do is what you shouldn't put off and la la and la la 🙂
I do this all the time and hate it! I do it while I'm feeling whatever... I ask myself, "Why exactly am I feeling ____ ?" and then I answer myself: "I'm lying to myself... THIS is the real reason for..."
And I've discovered that the vast majority of times we're lying to ourselves about the real reasons of why we feel the way we do. We always know what's wrong, we always know what we should do...
Then when we answer ourselves it's harsh but sometimes it makes us see that something is really not so important... actually many times we're just letting our emotions get the best of us...
Point is that once you get a clear understanding it's like seeing the whole world right before you and life is suddenly just life and what you should do is what you shouldn't put off and la la and la la 🙂
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Crimson
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You to Parallax pushes chair out Come on.
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Hola Amigos!
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I didnt know where to post this one so I put it here...besides I like conversing and sharing with you all.
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:(
Hello everyone.
Just looking for a little insight. I'm curious as to the dynamic between Pisces and Virgos in relationships. Specifically Virgo men with Pisces women. There's a polarity there, so I'm finding that opposites do indeed attract.
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Qbone, I feel like I have to pay you for all your advice, cause i don't think I'd get better anywhere else!! I'm printing out these pages, cause I reckon, throughout my life, they will come in most handy! 🙂
It's like i "know" everything you say already, but my feelings keep me from accepting and applying it.....like the only way i can do this is because i'm forced to, not because it is my choice. I've found in my life that when i had to make the choice of breaking up (I just knew there was just no way the relationship would last, without unhappiness being the outcome) it would take me so long to make that decision, cause my feelings wouldn't let me do what my mind knew had to be done.....it scares me a little this...that i can't seperate my emotions from reality and just move on....only when i'm forced to do so and have no other choice....
Thank you again, so much, for everything....🙂