Push---Pull---Push: ie Virgo Male

have read that one has to almost be cunning to get a Virgo male to fall in love with you. I watch for the "push" (when they push themselves on you) "pull" (when they pull away from you) and the "push" (hello! their back!) routine I keep reading about. I am seeing it in action. So my question is...

If you don't speak to a Virgo male for a few days (pull) and they give a little of themselves (push) then do not follow up the next day (pull) but then you do something nice for them just because...does that stay on their mind and bring them back to the "pushing"? Is this a way to "catch" them with "cunningness"?

And...

Does this behavior continue throughout the entire relationship?

I sincerely care about this person which is why I am trying to figure him out. Thanks in advance with your thoughts.

Stella, I hope you don't mind if I piggyback on to your question because I was thinking something very similar.

How are you supposed to interpret increased intimacy in the push phases? My virgo is being increasingly open about things in his life and past and, to be honest, I'm sort of stunned.

Is the whole push/pull thing kind of like a spiral that gets narrower and narrower? I mean, you start with these big, wide dramatic push/pull moments that get less dramatic and more emotional over time?

"They see through the B.S. like a window pane."


Agreed in one aspect .. they do see through the BS.

However, the problem is that with human life, comes emotional positioning that changes with the tide, and it is a part of nature that cannot be turned on and off like a switch. And what many people experience with the Virgo and find to be distressful, is that to this particular Virgo they are dealing with ... for them to have a human emotional that does increase/decrease, alter/adjust as is our nature, is what the Virgo constitutes being BS.

To them, any change in emotion is being decietful, a manipulation of some sort because it wasn't constant, it wasn't uniform .. and furthermore, this patience that one has to exercise over a prolonged period of time is with the intent for the Virgo to see just how long their potential partner can endure without having the emotional tides change with each new event that happens in their lives.

Only to those who can remain constant in not being a human, with emotional needs are the ones who can take the prize = Virgo.

And the thing is .. that is no prize worth cherishing because to want to have respect for a partner equates to the partner understanding that you were inherently born with human emotions that have to be expressed as they arise to find quality in their life. Without being able to embrace our emotions = a slow suicide of strangled bitterness.

So, though, I would agree with everything you said about getting the Virgo, such as, "Be yourself, be real, be honest at all times" .. in reality, this is a gross contridiction to life itself, for one to be themself, real and honest = having changing feelings with life's predictiments and episodes.

VGM: "They see through the B.S. like a window pane."

Yes, we do. Fake emotions will not be tolerated. Genuine feelings will be respected. We may not always understand the source, but we can be moved by the affect...

I'm a Virgo Man married to a Scorpio Woman -- she doesn't hide her feelings from me, and I don't hide mine from her. In just two short years she's taught me to "let go" of the logic and analysis, and just FEEL... My Virgo Dad and my Leo Mom didn't hide or suppress their emotions, either -- and my Mom was a Leo in every sense of the word!

Cancer is supposed to be one of the best matches for Virgo. I think we can all agree that Cancers are an emotional sign!

Neurotic, emotionally-stunted people (regardless of Sign) often have trouble dealing with emotions. Unfortunately, Virgs have been stereotyped as robots, when the real deal is that we experience and express emotions differently from others -- otherwise, the majority of us would all be serial killers...

"In just two short years she's taught me to "let go" of the logic and analysis, and just FEEL"


Well then, consider yourself fortunate that you learned before another 45 years went by. Though, you may feel like you have the scoop now, that it's ok to "feel" and "let go" of the logic and analysis .. this wasn't something that is inherent in you and took 45 years and a strong emotional woman to teach you.

This is my whole point .. people ARE emotional beings and the majority of the people dealing with the Virgo's who have NOT had Deb to teach you to "let go" .. struggle in their lives to love their Virgo, for he will inherently be scrutinizing her changing emotions to an extreme degree.

Before your enlightenment from your Scorpio .. I'd be willing to wager that these Fake emotions, that aren't sincere, in which you refer would be the exact ones you have learnt to understand from a different light now.

Which of course, seeing that you waited 14 years to get dumped by the Virgo, you would be THAT right kind of woman to whom has any validity in making a measurement of another persons life-experiences as to whether they hold any credence.

Oh never mind .. you said you couldn't comment, pardon.

"Does this behavior continue throughout the entire relationship?"


Yes

No man is worth that much suffering, hun. Wouldn't you rather have someone who actually expresses his desire and appreciation for you?

I think V-Gals do this too. The one I've been interested in (online only atm) we were writing each other a LOT, then she finally gave me her phone number, I called her, we had a nice conversation, then I didn't hear from her for 7 days. No emails nothing. Then I wrote to ask if she was pissed at me or something and she says she just didn't have anything nice to say, so I backed off for a week, and tonight we chatted online for a couple of hours. So maybe it's push, pull, push whatever with her too. I dunno, she puzzles me.

would you all be willing to help me too? I met my virguy a month ago. He's been acting kind of weird. Last week I danced with his friend and he left the bar. Left the club and did not answer his phone. I haven't saw him since. He called me 2 days ago and said he wanted to see me but when I called him later that night he wouldn't answer. he eventually called me but I wouldn't answer. should i give him a taste of his own medicine by ignoring him or will my behavior push him further away?

Kuntry- I don't think my advice is specific to Virguys-but I would not play games. They complicate everything. Be honest and straight forward. Then you will know if things worked out because you were "real' and true to yourself-as opposed to getting someone to pay attention to you by game playing. Good luck with your guy : )

im a virgo girl who likes a virgo guy, and yes he is so hard to figure out. I try to take things slow and keep it friendship. the other day he told me to call him at 10 and i did. then he asked where was i. he asked could he come pick me up, i told him i was driving, lets meet some place. he said cool, i went to the place, and waited a hour then get a text he will talk to me later take care. Talk about strange.

virgolovechild - Not sure if this is any help, but I'm a virgo dating a virgo and the exact same thing has happened to me. I don't understand it, either.

Actually, calling what we have "dating" might be taking it too far. We talk and we sleep with each other, but we're both too ... (fill in the blank with the proper adjective) to actually ask each other what we are to each other in more conventional terms.

virgogotme [to P-Angel]: "My history is well spoken here, no spins, no turns no deleting of threads, and you just proved dy correct regarding your "spinning" methods. Bored eh?"

Ah yes... Angelina will spin so hard she makes herself dizzy!

Is this typical Pisces complexity? If so, then thank God I'm a simple Virg! The FACTS are interesting enough to me and my brethren -- no need to sling them around like wet rags...

Strings, Strings, Strings...

You should know better: WOMEN in general are a mystery to VirGuys. Why do you think we're the Zodiac's stereotypical bachelors??

what's so weird is we are friends that work together, but he will call and tell me to come where he is at, then we just stare at each other, but no further than that. our birthdays are one day apart last birthday i sent a hello email, and he send me a picture of his stuff. which i did not see it for three months. weird. I like the guy, but he is weird to figure out. I try to keep it very professional and so do he but then he do little crazy shit like that. someone tell me what is with this guy.

blu - Excellent, excellent posts. Thank you so much.

Thank you for your thoughts!

~Stella

How big of a deal would you say it is if they do get jealous? I'm assuming they don't do it with every woman they meet. If you're going to try and read the tea leaves from that alone, what would you say? Does how the jealousy is shown (really childish, passive-aggressive ways) come into the interpretation?

Part of me wants to say that jealousy is probably more prevalent at the start of a relationship when they don't know where you stand. It's a play for control. Once they start to feel more secure, they ease up.

The Push and pull makes me want to pull out my hair.
It makes you feel as if you've done something wrong to make them pull back. I hope its just a self reflection thing as opposed to a disliking due to lack of perfection.

So I'm a Virgo and the guy I've been talking to for over 4 months is a Virgo too.. First 2-3 months, everything was perfect, until one day, he basically went MIA on me... He eventually came back about 3 weeks later and apologized and things went back to being okay. I've moved since then, I was living in London but I came back to the US and we've been trying to make sure we talk on the regular around once a week... We've started talking about traveling together when we both have time off since we're far apart, and he seems like he wants to be with me, and we're so comfortable with each other, but other days he gets really distant and harsh-- and we don't talk for 2-3 weeks at a time... I got really irritated because he makes it always on his terms and when he feels like talking so, I emailed him and told him its not fair for me, its hard for me that we're so far apart and he doesn't like to talk on the phone so we talk online when we both happen to be online/email which is on weekends cause we're so busy with our jobs, and sometimes he's harsh and distant..

He never responded back to my email, but at the same time, comes online more often but won't initiate contact.. but I don't know if its because he doesn't know what to say, or because he's sorry and thinks I'm mad at him, or if he just doesn't care...

Its frustrating because I feel like we're pushing and pulling on each other, because when he wants to talk, I am irritated so I don't want to anymore, and then when I'm ready, he doesn't want too because he wants to talk when he feels like it. Things never were like this and with us being so far apart, I just don't know how to deal with it.. we don't discuss emotions because its uncomfortable for both of us, and we're trying to take it a step at a time. At the same time, he says he wants to see me and wants to travel but I think the reality scares him a lot. I don't want to loose him but I feel like if we don't get on the same page soon, he'll give up. and I don't want to give up on us.

In my experience with the virgo online thing, I've found that someone has to suck it up and let their pride go. I'm in a similar situation with a virgo and it's just one of those things where I have to ask myself what's more important - talking to him or feeding my ego by having him chase after me. For a while, the first one won out. Now I'm leaning towards protecting my ego.

As for the back and forth... The only thing I have to say is that you might want to wait until Wednesday/Thursday's eclipse to do anything. Every horoscope I've been reading has been saying that virgos should be really confused in their relationships and that the eclipse is supposed to bring massive clarity, for better or for worse.

I very rarely make decisions based on astrology transits, but right now every single virgo that I know is completely crazy and confused (me included). Maybe it's not a bad idea to relax and see how things unfold this week.

the virguy I (was) seeing called me a day after valentines day...

Its funny because when I do hear from him (by some unknown miracle) its always around the holidays...

So this must mean I won't be hearing from him till Easter...

We're very similar, maybe because we're both Virgos, but it feels like we're both fighting for control and get frustrated with the pride to have our own way or just letting it go..
We've never really argued but since its been long distance, I feel like tension is building because I don't think he understands being in a relationship and making time,, blah blah... I think he's only had one other gf..
He's always been highly stressed with work and it never used to be an issue, but now I feel like when he gets so busy and stressed, he pushes me away too cause he gets in a bad mood.. and then I get mad,... the cycle never stops!

I'm freaking out but at the same time feel like it will all be okay!

"Virgo Men Are Afraid of Their Own Freakin' Shadows!"

No... they dread some whacked-out VirGal lurking in the shadows with a machete...

Strings,

Your ears must be burning! (Mentioned you over on the Scorp Board.)

For the last time: Debra will not debate me -- it's the only thing about her that has truly disappointed me.

here's my virgo update, he called me today...

me: hello

virgo: hello, were you sleeping?

me: nah, just layin in my bed, what up?

virgo: get dressed, I'm about to come pick you up...(wtf?)

me: no

Virgo: no, why?

me: because my hair is all poofy and it looks a hot mess...

virgo: so? go put a hat over your head, or you just don't feel like it?

me: no, my hair is really a hot mess(it really is)

virgo: oh (then he blabs about his new job, a really good job, and he's complaining about the hours and the pay, and then he says) You got any words of encouragement?

me: what you want me to say?

virgo: say its okay baby, everything will work out fine...(WHAT! I'm in between jobs and I have a hell of a time finding one right now, yet you get a good job working for the state, and YOU NEED WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT! UGHHHHH!)

virgo: hello?

me: yea

virgo: I know I haven't been calling you and coming to see you like I used to but I have no stability in my life right now... (then he iblabbing about his car troubles, bowling, and whatever it is that i could care less about...)

virgo: hello?

me: yeah I'm here

Virgo: (then he talks about what he has to do today, wasn't really paying attention) here's my new phone number call me sometime today...

me: what time?

virgo: around 2 and 4

Me: aight

convo ended

I lost all total interest in him, and like blumorning said, I know he means well, but at the same time you are not going to string me along whenever you feel like it...

He's the sweetest coolest guy you can ever meet but, it's just not meant to be...

VK: "How do you know when you bagged a Virgo Male?"

When you're on your honeymoon.

What an interesting thread. I have been dating a virguy for a few weeks now and it's been anything but boring. There hasn't been any push/pull effect at all. (How far into the relationship does this kick in?) The text messages/conversations are the most intriguing. He throws a lot of unexpected remarks at me and we had a "battle of the virgo wits" just the other night. That ended up being a good thing because it made us want to be together! Virgo sex is great after trying to outwit each other! LOL.

I don't see this relationship lasting a lifetime but is good for the time being. It is nice to have this much fun with someone without being smothered. One of his friends made the comment that "we think alike." Most guys I know are not into astrology so I kept the virgo+virgo thought to myself! LoL.

This eclipse everyone is chatting about could change things, huh?

I don't know whats going on, but he called me yesterday too...

he's been really persistent lately 🙂

LV: "I don't see this relationship lasting a lifetime but is good for the time being."

Uh, why not??

I've only had one VirGirl in my life, but if we'd been older, we'd still be married...

OSG: "He's the sweetest coolest guy you can ever meet..." && "...he's been really persistent lately..."

Uh-huh. Better watch out young GemGirl, our charm may be understated, but we can get to you after a while...

StringsAttached:
>It's unanimous: Virgo Men Are Afraid of Their Own Freakin' Shadows!

Heh... that's the OTHER Virgo dudes... the WEIRD ones, LOL

DY:
>For the last time: Debra will not debate me -- it's the only thing about her that has truly disappointed me.

And we want a debate. We like airing our views, and don't expect to win per se... we want to discuss it. We want to logically work it all out... and it can be frustrating when you won't debate the issue with us.

VirgoKitten:
>Sometimes when people..well Virgos or ok when I do it Im trying to see how independent you are on your own without me . I like clinginess it's cute but sufferaction kills.>.>; I don't know about other DXP Virgos but thats just me and the few Virgos I know.

It a frigging game isn't it? I often wonder if Patti isn't playing that same game with me? Consciously or Unconsciously? To see if I'm clingy? I dislike playing games, but being of similar mind, try to see her side... LOL... the games people play

i generally don't like debating with people i'm close to. unless i'm sure they won't take anything i say personally, i just avoid it. it can lead to a lot of tension and honestly, sometimes it's just really hard for me to let go if there's something we just cannot agree on.

OneSexyGem:
>He's the sweetest coolest guy you can ever meet but, it's just not meant to be...

::Sigh:: dunno. I personally can't understand him. I don't know why, if he is really interested in you, would he ignore you at all... unless you've been ignoring him, and he felt like he needed to chill a little. If it's all on his end, ::shrug:: I dunno... I don't understand. MUst be one of those OTHER Virgos, LOL

DY:
>VK: "How do you know when you bagged a Virgo Male?"
When you're on your honeymoon.

LOL Dy.

OneSexyGem:
>I don't know whats going on, but he called me yesterday too...
he's been really persistent lately

Maybe because he's finally got a good job prospect, he feels secure enough to get something going with you?

maybe...

or he might just do disappearing acts again, who knows...

idk, i might just do something new for a change and be patient and more understanding and see how things go... 😉