truthseeker_10
@truthseeker_10
15 Years
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Scorpio women & emotional connection.
Posted by truthseeker_10
How can someone build/create more emotional connection with a scorpio woman without disclosing too much of oneself?
Most Scoprios are selfish and conceited. Their trust issues seem to be a never ending train on the Jealousy tracks.
Expect her to have lots of secrets while you dish out all of your business openly. She always has the need for privacy and doesn't see the need to tell you everything, yet you have no problem trusting her and telling her everything as is.
Background:
I've been seeing/dating this scorpio lady for over a month now. We felt this magnetism and drawing from day one that we just couldn't resist. I'm a Virgo, she is the one in tune with all these astrological things, me, not so much, but willing to learn.
Yes, the stupid gutteral draw... it annoys me really. Quite normal for the two signs.
but I also need to feel safe and secure before that...so I go back and forth with the thoughts of what I should do and when.
She will give it to you.
One thing she did mentioned that left me perplexed is that...she believes one day we will share all that we want...but that she needs to have more emotional connection...and I have yet to understand what she could have meant by that...
She's a Scorpio, heart and passion first. Jealousy, Anger, Obsession, Passion.
You're a Virgo, head and logic first. Analysis, Objectiveness, Detachment, Timely Passion.
plus I found out recently that it is not good to open up too much or completely with scorpios you like because then you lose that sense of mystery...is that true?
Yes, they like a challenge and mystery.
If that is true, then how can I connect with her more in the emotional area without disclosing too much of me? The goal is to connect...not to ever lose each other...so now I'm perplexed and also unsure as to what to do and how to do it.
Scorpios like random, be random.
Keep novelty going regularly.
Don't let her think she has won, make her work for everything.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!I really like this girl.click to expand
Sigh... I feel sorry for you. It's going to be one unforgettable ride.
cajun,
friend, your analysis about the situation was so insightful. its good to hear from both scorpios and virgos here since we all have such different approacjhes and reactions...
so i'm assuming you dated a scorpio girl at some point? feel free to share the pros and cons if you want.
you are so right about them being random lol. they do like talking though, which is wonderful for me considering my last conquest was not very good at conversations. so this scorpio girl won me with her eyes and then the way she talks to me....even if once in a while she defenitely has her random moments, lol, i still enjoy her company.
i should add more randomness to my conversation too, so true. we, virgos, tend to be very objective and focused....funny.
the gut feeling attraction...cajun, i never felt that before. i had met other scorpios before who were interested but didn't reciprocated those feelings until now. she was very good in the way she handled everything....well for the most part, haha.
so when you mean "keep novelty going" you mean bring up new subjects in conversations? because if that is the case, that is just how i am...so that is not a problem whatsoever, but if you meant it action-related....hmm....i'm good for taking her on dates and planning things....is that what you meant bud?
so...we aren't a nominated coupled yet, but we have been acting like one since we started dating...i have told her that i am willing and open to take the label (did this in a very interesting and nice way by the way) and thought she would answer right away...instead she took the whole next day (even though she was w me until early in the morning) to think about it (i was trying to be gentle when i said she could take some time, but deep inside i was hoping she would jump to the idea....whatever) anyway, i was almost giving up on the whole label thing...thinking whatever, then she surprised me with her own question....cracking me up. these women like to be in control, it seems 🙂 which is fine, but it can so confusing.
AND get this friend...even once i said okay let's talk about this....she decides we should do it once she gets back in town....
i don't know how you are...but i'm not very good at the unlabeled stages....i know she likes me, probably a lot. i just dont understand why this need to take time, maybe she is trying to play hard to get or...
friend, your analysis about the situation was so insightful. its good to hear from both scorpios and virgos here since we all have such different approacjhes and reactions...
so i'm assuming you dated a scorpio girl at some point? feel free to share the pros and cons if you want.
you are so right about them being random lol. they do like talking though, which is wonderful for me considering my last conquest was not very good at conversations. so this scorpio girl won me with her eyes and then the way she talks to me....even if once in a while she defenitely has her random moments, lol, i still enjoy her company.
i should add more randomness to my conversation too, so true. we, virgos, tend to be very objective and focused....funny.
the gut feeling attraction...cajun, i never felt that before. i had met other scorpios before who were interested but didn't reciprocated those feelings until now. she was very good in the way she handled everything....well for the most part, haha.
so when you mean "keep novelty going" you mean bring up new subjects in conversations? because if that is the case, that is just how i am...so that is not a problem whatsoever, but if you meant it action-related....hmm....i'm good for taking her on dates and planning things....is that what you meant bud?
so...we aren't a nominated coupled yet, but we have been acting like one since we started dating...i have told her that i am willing and open to take the label (did this in a very interesting and nice way by the way) and thought she would answer right away...instead she took the whole next day (even though she was w me until early in the morning) to think about it (i was trying to be gentle when i said she could take some time, but deep inside i was hoping she would jump to the idea....whatever) anyway, i was almost giving up on the whole label thing...thinking whatever, then she surprised me with her own question....cracking me up. these women like to be in control, it seems 🙂 which is fine, but it can so confusing.
AND get this friend...even once i said okay let's talk about this....she decides we should do it once she gets back in town....
i don't know how you are...but i'm not very good at the unlabeled stages....i know she likes me, probably a lot. i just dont understand why this need to take time, maybe she is trying to play hard to get or...
needs time to deal w her emotions as some ladies said that when scorpios dissappear is bc they need space to deal with their feelings....or maybe its the fact that since now she "knows" that i am up for being official w her...she is re-thinking about this challenge. i hope is not the last one, but if it is...so be it. i won't be so outspoken and clear about my feelings if thatwould be the case. i don't like games. i am hoping and trusting that it is the fact that she needs time to think about it some more though due to other issues in her life....so im giving her that, but in the meantime i wonder if i should act like the good committed non-boyfriend i have been still...or keep on going with my life. i just don't think i could be with anyone else right now though, even if things aren't defined....and yet there are always fun options you know...but i want to stay true to my heart. i just wish she would have said yes soon and clearly, so who knows friend....i like her a lot, i guess we will have to see what happens once she gets back.
as you can tell, i'm already falling for this girl.
as you can tell, i'm already falling for this girl.
Posted by truthseeker_10
so i'm assuming you dated a scorpio girl at some point? feel free to share the pros and cons if you want.
I've courted 3 and counseled several. I've had enough for one lifetime...
you are so right about them being random lol. they do like talking though, which is wonderful for me considering my last conquest was not very good at conversations.
Yeah, I'm not much of a talker myself.
They always have some gossip to share, which admittedly is a guilty pleasure.
Lots to talk about and such dramatic descriptions, makes for good laughs.
so this scorpio girl won me with her eyes and then the way she talks to me....
Their eyes are magnetic.
i should add more randomness to my conversation too, so true. we, virgos, tend to be very objective and focused....funny.
Trust me, she loves this about you.
You can see through her crap and stand out for yourself, she has the utmost respect for you.
the gut feeling attraction...cajun, i never felt that before. i had met other scorpios before who were interested but didn't reciprocated those feelings until now. she was very good in the way she handled everything....well for the most part, haha.
I hate it!
It's like a weakness embedded into me... The desire, the craving, the... lust for a Scorpion woman.
Makes me feel helpless...
so when you mean "keep novelty going" you mean bring up new subjects in conversations? because if that is the case, that is just how i am...so that is not a problem whatsoever, but if you meant it action-related....hmm....i'm good for taking her on dates and planning things....is that what you meant bud?click to expand
That and more.
You're a Virgo... so naturally you are penetrating every aspect of her life.
Learn to dance together, get up close and personal. Make her quiver... tease her.... like you know you to 😉
so...we aren't a nominated coupled yet, but we have been acting like one since we started dating...i have told her that i am willing and open to take the label (did this in a very interesting and nice way by the way) and thought she would answer right away...instead she took the whole next day (even though she was w me until early in the morning) to think about it (i was trying to be gentle when i said she could take some time, but deep inside i was hoping she would jump to the idea....whatever)
Oooooh boy... I hope she doesn't shaft you.
Those trust issues man... they go DEEP deep deep...
Try not to overanalyse... just do things as though you don't know what we've told you here....
anyway, i was almost giving up on the whole label thing...thinking whatever, then she surprised me with her own question....cracking me up. these women like to be in control, it seems 🙂 which is fine, but it can so confusing.
It seems?
LOL
Without a DOUBT they like to be in control.
i don't know how you are...but i'm not very good at the unlabeled stages....i know she likes me, probably a lot. i just dont understand why this need to take time, maybe she is trying to play hard to get or...click to expand
It may be a test of sorts. Just be your cool, level headed charming Virgo self, and things will work out.
cajun,
i don't even know you and i could tell we would be good buddies. these women...better put themselves together or leave us alone 🙂
i appreciate the reminder of keep it calm and collected. you know how we can be with our over analyzing...especially when we are into something intriguing...most of the time we are right, haha, but sometimes we have to accept that we can be wrong. there are always to sides to everything...its just a matter of discerning well (which is fine with me) and knowing how we feel (very hard for me at times).
i should make a correction to the last statement in my last post...as a good virgo would! as you can tell i [THINK] i am falling for this girl....there, that makes more sense now.
i don't even know you and i could tell we would be good buddies. these women...better put themselves together or leave us alone 🙂
i appreciate the reminder of keep it calm and collected. you know how we can be with our over analyzing...especially when we are into something intriguing...most of the time we are right, haha, but sometimes we have to accept that we can be wrong. there are always to sides to everything...its just a matter of discerning well (which is fine with me) and knowing how we feel (very hard for me at times).
i should make a correction to the last statement in my last post...as a good virgo would! as you can tell i [THINK] i am falling for this girl....there, that makes more sense now.
Posted by truthseeker_10
cajun,
i don't even know you and i could tell we would be good buddies. these women...better put themselves together or leave us alone 🙂
i appreciate the reminder of keep it calm and collected. you know how we can be with our over analyzing...especially when we are into something intriguing...most of the time we are right, haha, but sometimes we have to accept that we can be wrong. there are always to sides to everything...its just a matter of discerning well (which is fine with me) and knowing how we feel (very hard for me at times).
i should make a correction to the last statement in my last post...as a good virgo would! as you can tell i [THINK] i am falling for this girl....there, that makes more sense now.
uh oh ur gonna make 85 jealous lmao
Posted by truthseeker_10
cajun,
i don't even know you and i could tell we would be good buddies. these women...better put themselves together or leave us alone 🙂
Haha, s'all good holmes.
Scorpio women can teach us an awful lot about emotions...
i should make a correction to the last statement in my last post...as a good virgo would! as you can tell i [THINK] i am falling for this girl....there, that makes more sense now.click to expand
Hahaha, I'm sure what you are feeling is sincere... it's just a matter of her not wanting to give up control and let you know how much power you have over her.
Power struggle was the name of the game with my first Scorpio.
For us (Scorpios), the act of sex is an emotional experience. For example, I've never had a one night stand. I'm picky about the person I'm with, and once we commit to sleeping with each other, it is more than just an act of sex. In those moments, I feel like I am truly one with my partner.
You said that she's more into the astrology aspect of life than you. Perhaps she knows that Virgos like to analyze each matter and is letting you know that it is okay with her.
I think she's very much into you also.
We close ourselves off because we don't want to get hurt. Just like you have to trust her to get into a relationship, she has to do the same thing because she wants to make sure you won't hurt her.
A lot of times we come off as conceited, but that's just a smoke screen we put up. We're insecure. Everyone is always sexier than me, smarter than me, could do my job better than me, and hell, could live my life better than me. Let her know that she's great just the way she is. For example, during lunch today, a friend was telling me how I have it all: the best clothes, social scene, and even car that people would kill for. The entire time, I was thinking that I was afraid to pick up the utensils because she would see my nail-polish is chipping. Her nails were perfect. I know, it sounds retarded, but there you have it.
So just let her know that she's wonderful and perfect for you. Let her know that you're also perfect for her.
The chase is a curious thing. If we don't find out the info we need, we will give up. If you keep holding everything back, at some point she might think you're not trustworthy because you don't trust her enough to tell her what she needs to know. Yes, "needs", not "wants."
You said that she's more into the astrology aspect of life than you. Perhaps she knows that Virgos like to analyze each matter and is letting you know that it is okay with her.
I think she's very much into you also.
We close ourselves off because we don't want to get hurt. Just like you have to trust her to get into a relationship, she has to do the same thing because she wants to make sure you won't hurt her.
A lot of times we come off as conceited, but that's just a smoke screen we put up. We're insecure. Everyone is always sexier than me, smarter than me, could do my job better than me, and hell, could live my life better than me. Let her know that she's great just the way she is. For example, during lunch today, a friend was telling me how I have it all: the best clothes, social scene, and even car that people would kill for. The entire time, I was thinking that I was afraid to pick up the utensils because she would see my nail-polish is chipping. Her nails were perfect. I know, it sounds retarded, but there you have it.
So just let her know that she's wonderful and perfect for you. Let her know that you're also perfect for her.
The chase is a curious thing. If we don't find out the info we need, we will give up. If you keep holding everything back, at some point she might think you're not trustworthy because you don't trust her enough to tell her what she needs to know. Yes, "needs", not "wants."
Oh yeah and remember... once you open the door to her heart, that's it. No going back.
You either Die or Sleep with her best friend to get out.
You either Die or Sleep with her best friend to get out.
Posted by scorpio_chic
Your opinion of scorpio women (this part, anyway) is SO off, boo. Sucks for you.
You're an older Scorpio, I would imagine by now these petty insecurities have long vanished or you have learned to deal with them much better..
I have to deal with them in my angsty age group.
Posted by scorpio_chic
I still deal with the insecurities as a lot of women do, I guess the part about scorpio women being stuck up, selfish, conceited, etc.. and being secretive, not divulging any of their own personal stories, only wanting you to open up to them. That is not usually true...
I like how it went from outright no, to sometimes.
but it depends more on the female herself & less to do with her sign I think. A conceited bitch is just a conceited bitch at the end of the day.. it has nothing to do with her sign.click to expand
Spoken like a true Scorpio, touche'.
Cajun, Dytrin, Luscia, Kaleidescorp, Hikoro, and scorpiochic...
Thank you!
It's crazy to see how all of you have had some sort of experience with this type of connection...some of you having even long-term relationships and even marriage! Wow!
Cajun - The power struggle, friend, maybe that is what's up with this one too, I will explain some recent news below....and maybe it would resonate with your experience.
Dytrin!! - So nice to finally meet you. You are popular in the scopio board buddy! Congrats on the marriage, I'm very happy for you 🙂 You asked me why I was afraid to disclose? I'm a bit private in general but also...I read somewhere that if you disclose too much to scorpios they lose interest because the mystery ends...so its hard for me to know how much to share....I don't want to lose her but being way too open, makes sense? Also, there are some recent things that happened that I would like to get some input for....I will post that update below, check it out if you can.
Luscia - That connection you mentioned....I think she has seen that. What is confusing is that she makes comments about us being together that way over text messages and yet when she has the chance to...she just lets me lead...and since I respect her so much, I can't yet, so sometimes it makes me feel like she talks....but is afraid to follow with actions...which is fine with me, I want our first time to be special, but playing with my head isn't helping me to wait, so I'm going to have to teach her a lesson by refraining myself even more...maybe....by the way check out my update below if you can.
Kaleidoscope - Nice meeting you! So you are another example of this kind of duo...so interesting. I'm glad you are here and that you posted and I am so happy for you and your current long-term relationship!🙂 please check out my update below and let me know your thoughts if you can...
Scorpio_chic - I will check the scorpio board soon, you all have been so nice there. I might have responded to you too, but maybe it is a new post. Thank you for checking this post and caring...and being honest about your thoughts. I'm going to give a little update to everyone next....let me know what you think, if you get the chance.
Update:
Last night was an interesting night. She is out of town for few weeks so we have been staying in touch over the phone...while she 'decides' to make our relationship official...(Continued)
Thank you!
It's crazy to see how all of you have had some sort of experience with this type of connection...some of you having even long-term relationships and even marriage! Wow!
Cajun - The power struggle, friend, maybe that is what's up with this one too, I will explain some recent news below....and maybe it would resonate with your experience.
Dytrin!! - So nice to finally meet you. You are popular in the scopio board buddy! Congrats on the marriage, I'm very happy for you 🙂 You asked me why I was afraid to disclose? I'm a bit private in general but also...I read somewhere that if you disclose too much to scorpios they lose interest because the mystery ends...so its hard for me to know how much to share....I don't want to lose her but being way too open, makes sense? Also, there are some recent things that happened that I would like to get some input for....I will post that update below, check it out if you can.
Luscia - That connection you mentioned....I think she has seen that. What is confusing is that she makes comments about us being together that way over text messages and yet when she has the chance to...she just lets me lead...and since I respect her so much, I can't yet, so sometimes it makes me feel like she talks....but is afraid to follow with actions...which is fine with me, I want our first time to be special, but playing with my head isn't helping me to wait, so I'm going to have to teach her a lesson by refraining myself even more...maybe....by the way check out my update below if you can.
Kaleidoscope - Nice meeting you! So you are another example of this kind of duo...so interesting. I'm glad you are here and that you posted and I am so happy for you and your current long-term relationship!🙂 please check out my update below and let me know your thoughts if you can...
Scorpio_chic - I will check the scorpio board soon, you all have been so nice there. I might have responded to you too, but maybe it is a new post. Thank you for checking this post and caring...and being honest about your thoughts. I'm going to give a little update to everyone next....let me know what you think, if you get the chance.
Update:
Last night was an interesting night. She is out of town for few weeks so we have been staying in touch over the phone...while she 'decides' to make our relationship official...(Continued)
Update:
Continuation...
First she asked me to read this song from Regine Spektor called "Fidelity" and asked me to read something about how she never loved someone truly...always one foot on the ground...which kind of bothered me, not the part of learning to love, but the fact that she chose a song with that title (but maybe I'm reading too much, however ladies, don't ever chose a song with that title for a virgo...with our analysis it just won't be good)...it just made me wonder if she was trying to say that she went behind my back or something...
Then, she says that she doesn't ever let herself fall in love and doesn't know if she ever will....with a sad face, which made it even worst.
I'm still patient at this point, encouraging her and letting her know she can open up to me, while secrelty feeling a bit hurt and afraid to be honest...that she might have done something behind my back (not a good feeling).
Anyway, I get over that and try to stay objective, so she never knew...I just asked her questions and she denied any possibilities of persuing anyone else.
So, then I decide to make her feel happy with me...and safe thinking maybe she needs a little reinforcement. So I tell her that I will walk with her...that we could do this together and she can feel safe with me....I remind her of how amazing she has been with me this far (although the truth is not always, but truly for the most part...everyone makes mistakes so I don't look back...).
She says that she can see a future with me and that I am everyone anyone would need to build something....
But then she says that she doens't like dating...that everything shouldn't be complicated....so I remind her that dating is simple (because it is!) and that dating is a good foundation...but she says she doesn't like dating....and that it is not simple for her...and yet she says that she is committed to me and nobody else...(??) and she says that I told her that she could take time to think so that she is doing that (which I did, but honestly mostly because I was being gentle, I secretly hoped she would say yes inmediately, but whatever).
She also said...something like...'I can be your gf and we could take things slow'....but then she would say again things like 'you will run when you get to know me better' and 'I just don't like dating, it is not simple for me'.
I tried to affirm her over and over. She also said "I want you" (Continued..last part)
Continuation...
First she asked me to read this song from Regine Spektor called "Fidelity" and asked me to read something about how she never loved someone truly...always one foot on the ground...which kind of bothered me, not the part of learning to love, but the fact that she chose a song with that title (but maybe I'm reading too much, however ladies, don't ever chose a song with that title for a virgo...with our analysis it just won't be good)...it just made me wonder if she was trying to say that she went behind my back or something...
Then, she says that she doesn't ever let herself fall in love and doesn't know if she ever will....with a sad face, which made it even worst.
I'm still patient at this point, encouraging her and letting her know she can open up to me, while secrelty feeling a bit hurt and afraid to be honest...that she might have done something behind my back (not a good feeling).
Anyway, I get over that and try to stay objective, so she never knew...I just asked her questions and she denied any possibilities of persuing anyone else.
So, then I decide to make her feel happy with me...and safe thinking maybe she needs a little reinforcement. So I tell her that I will walk with her...that we could do this together and she can feel safe with me....I remind her of how amazing she has been with me this far (although the truth is not always, but truly for the most part...everyone makes mistakes so I don't look back...).
She says that she can see a future with me and that I am everyone anyone would need to build something....
But then she says that she doens't like dating...that everything shouldn't be complicated....so I remind her that dating is simple (because it is!) and that dating is a good foundation...but she says she doesn't like dating....and that it is not simple for her...and yet she says that she is committed to me and nobody else...(??) and she says that I told her that she could take time to think so that she is doing that (which I did, but honestly mostly because I was being gentle, I secretly hoped she would say yes inmediately, but whatever).
She also said...something like...'I can be your gf and we could take things slow'....but then she would say again things like 'you will run when you get to know me better' and 'I just don't like dating, it is not simple for me'.
I tried to affirm her over and over. She also said "I want you" (Continued..last part)
Update: (Part 3)
Continuation...
But then she also said things like "I just don't know why I can't do this, I know I feel safe with you"
So I asked her if she would want us to be friends for a little while instead then, trying to give her an option (although I do not want that) just because I like her so much, I am willing to be her friend first only if that is what she needs...but she got a bit upset and would say "why would you ask that?" ahhhh....
Anyway, she still ended the night saying that she things dating is never simple and that she was frustrated with herself....but that I told her she could take sometime and so she is doing that...
Basically, I'm confused and guys I like her a lot....a lot, but she made me feel a bit unsure last night....about trust, about her readiness to be in a relationship..I don't know what in the world triggered her to think the way she did, everything was going so great and out of the sudden she says all those things last night...it makes me wonder about things...and I don't like it when people make me feel unsure, especially about trusting someone's loyalty.
Also, I am not wondering about her readiness to date anyone...she goes back and forth, I don't know what she wants or needs from me. I gave her reassurance, I encouraged with my words...I showed her through my actions while she was here exactly how I felt and what I was willing to do....
I think "I" am going to take some time off to think too....so I'm going to be shutting down for a bit today...staying away from her because I need some clarity in my mind. I want to make sure this worth everything I am willing to put...and I want to know if these are red flags or rather just passing waters for now....
Any thoughts are welcome.
Continuation...
But then she also said things like "I just don't know why I can't do this, I know I feel safe with you"
So I asked her if she would want us to be friends for a little while instead then, trying to give her an option (although I do not want that) just because I like her so much, I am willing to be her friend first only if that is what she needs...but she got a bit upset and would say "why would you ask that?" ahhhh....
Anyway, she still ended the night saying that she things dating is never simple and that she was frustrated with herself....but that I told her she could take sometime and so she is doing that...
Basically, I'm confused and guys I like her a lot....a lot, but she made me feel a bit unsure last night....about trust, about her readiness to be in a relationship..I don't know what in the world triggered her to think the way she did, everything was going so great and out of the sudden she says all those things last night...it makes me wonder about things...and I don't like it when people make me feel unsure, especially about trusting someone's loyalty.
Also, I am not wondering about her readiness to date anyone...she goes back and forth, I don't know what she wants or needs from me. I gave her reassurance, I encouraged with my words...I showed her through my actions while she was here exactly how I felt and what I was willing to do....
I think "I" am going to take some time off to think too....so I'm going to be shutting down for a bit today...staying away from her because I need some clarity in my mind. I want to make sure this worth everything I am willing to put...and I want to know if these are red flags or rather just passing waters for now....
Any thoughts are welcome.
Posted by truthseeker_10
Update:
She asked me to read something about how she never loved someone truly...always one foot on the ground...which kind of bothered me, not the part of learning to love,
Then, she says that she doesn't ever let herself fall in love and doesn't know if she ever will....with a sad face, which made it even worst.
Just proof she is a Scorpio. Fear of getting her heart hurt.
but the fact that she chose a song with that title (but maybe I'm reading too much, however ladies, don't ever chose a song with that title for a virgo...with our analysis it just won't be good)...it just made me wonder if she was trying to say that she went behind my back or something...
Woah, easy there buddy. No need to go down that road.
I'm still patient at this point, encouraging her and letting her know she can open up to me, while secrelty feeling a bit hurt and afraid to be honest...that she might have done something behind my back (not a good feeling).
Let her know how you feel and what you think.
Anyway, I get over that and try to stay objective, so she never knew...I just asked her questions and she denied any possibilities of persuing anyone else.
Problem solved.
So, then I decide to make her feel happy with me...and safe thinking maybe she needs a little reinforcement. So I tell her that I will walk with her...that we could do this together and she can feel safe with me....I remind her of how amazing she has been with me this far (although the truth is not always, but truly for the most part...everyone makes mistakes so I don't look back...).
Now you are proving that you are a Virgo 😉
But then she says that she doens't like dating...that everything shouldn't be complicated....so I remind her that dating is simple (because it is!) and that dating is a good foundation...but she says she doesn't like dating....and that it is not simple for her...and yet she says that she is committed to me and nobody else...(??) and she says that I told her that she could take time to think so that she is doing that (which I did, but honestly mostly because I was being gentle, I secretly hoped she would say yes inmediately, but whatever).click to expand
Well then tell her you're skipping the dating and getting
Posted by truthseeker_10
Update: (Part 3)
But then she also said things like "I just don't know why I can't do this, I know I feel safe with you"
Sounds like a plea for you to take the lead.
So I asked her if she would want us to be friends for a little while instead then, trying to give her an option (although I do not want that) just because I like her so much, I am willing to be her friend first only if that is what she needs...but she got a bit upset and would say "why would you ask that?" ahhhh....
lol you numbnut (jest)
She is literally begging for you to claim her.
Basically, I'm confused and guys I like her a lot....a lot, but she made me feel a bit unsure last night....about trust, about her readiness to be in a relationship..I don't know what in the world triggered her to think the way she did, everything was going so great and out of the sudden she says all those things last night...it makes me wonder about things...and I don't like it when people make me feel unsure, especially about trusting someone's loyalty.
Cancers and Scorpios take their issues of the heart seriously. She is safeguarding herself.
She's loyal and she is a woman. Even THEY are not always sure.
Also, I am not wondering about her readiness to date anyone...she goes back and forth, I don't know what she wants or needs from me. I gave her reassurance, I encouraged with my words...I showed her through my actions while she was here exactly how I felt and what I was willing to do....
You did everything you can, save for sealing the deal!
I think "I" am going to take some time off to think too....so I'm going to be shutting down for a bit today...staying away from her because I need some clarity in my mind. I want to make sure this worth everything I am willing to put...and I want to know if these are red flags or rather just passing waters for now....
Any thoughts are welcome.click to expand
Such a Virgo, she wants ya man. You need to see that.
ll then tell her you're skipping the dating and getting straight to the relationship.
She also said...something like...'I can be your gf and we could take things slow'....but then she would say again things like 'you will run when you get to know me better' and 'I just don't like dating, it is not simple for me'.
Heeheee, she's testing you.
Swoop her up, stop wasting time.
Declare you are her boyfriend and she has no say in otherwise, bahahahaa!
Yes, I am serious.
I tried to affirm her over and over. She also said "I want you"click to expand
Then GIVE her what she wants!
you are all so great! i appreciate every input...the honest words and time put into these responses.
i will come back and continue this conversation after some time with the family.
i appreciate it so much scorpio_chic, kaleiodoscope, dytryin, hikoro, sekhmet....thank you!
have a wonderful time wherever you are and happy holidays!!
i will keep you posted with my recent lessons in the v & s land soon 🙂
i will come back and continue this conversation after some time with the family.
i appreciate it so much scorpio_chic, kaleiodoscope, dytryin, hikoro, sekhmet....thank you!
have a wonderful time wherever you are and happy holidays!!
i will keep you posted with my recent lessons in the v & s land soon 🙂
and of course...my buddy cajun!! 🙂
Posted by truthseeker_10
and of course...my buddy cajun!! 🙂
*loves how he got mentioned alone in a post*
Heehee 😄
Hey friends! I'm finally back and ready to respond some more. I hope everyone had a wonderful time this far...Christmas is always an interesting time with the family.
Anyway, into the responses and conversation 🙂
Scorpio_chic,
You sound SO much like her, or at least the way you used to be. I read through your comments and it does make some sense...really. I just hope she is not in that stage were her doubts are way too difficult for us. It helped me so much to read what you said. Why you would feel this or that way and how she seems to care inspite of her words of hesitation....who knew. After that day I posted, she texted me to apologize without even me saying anything, I think she realized she sounded a bit confusing that night. She said she didn't know why she said those things, that perhaps it was because she was tired and was frustrated to not be able to see me....she says she is bad at expression her emotions. I just smilied at her and said that is okay...and that I was bad at other things too. Things were okay after that.
Last night however, she gave me yet another little confusing time. I went for a coffee with this aries girl (friend of mine) and told the scorpio lady about it. This aries girl used to be trouble in the past, but in no way I could date her again (we dated very briefly) she just needed a friend really bad and had been trying to talk to me forever. I told the aries girl that I would go, given us meeting during the afternoon and without any drinks or games involved and she agreed. She hasn't changed her ways that much, but that is another story... In either case, I kept miss scorpio informed of all that, before the coffee, during the coffee, and after the coffee to let her know she could trust me and know for sure I would never be anything to that aries girl other than a buddy. My scorpio girl seemed to be completely fine, because she knows how crazy this aries girl can be and how 'not good' of a relationship that would be with me....plus, ms. aries is in a relationship...so it was all good. Anyway, I go home, try to talk to my scorpio about random things, just to show her I'm home, nothing to worry about, I'm here you know? I ask her some conversational questions since we hadn't talk that much that night and she says her phone is about to die...THEN she dissappears then reappears and then dissappears again...and does that throughout the rest of the night....(Continued)
Anyway, into the responses and conversation 🙂
Scorpio_chic,
You sound SO much like her, or at least the way you used to be. I read through your comments and it does make some sense...really. I just hope she is not in that stage were her doubts are way too difficult for us. It helped me so much to read what you said. Why you would feel this or that way and how she seems to care inspite of her words of hesitation....who knew. After that day I posted, she texted me to apologize without even me saying anything, I think she realized she sounded a bit confusing that night. She said she didn't know why she said those things, that perhaps it was because she was tired and was frustrated to not be able to see me....she says she is bad at expression her emotions. I just smilied at her and said that is okay...and that I was bad at other things too. Things were okay after that.
Last night however, she gave me yet another little confusing time. I went for a coffee with this aries girl (friend of mine) and told the scorpio lady about it. This aries girl used to be trouble in the past, but in no way I could date her again (we dated very briefly) she just needed a friend really bad and had been trying to talk to me forever. I told the aries girl that I would go, given us meeting during the afternoon and without any drinks or games involved and she agreed. She hasn't changed her ways that much, but that is another story... In either case, I kept miss scorpio informed of all that, before the coffee, during the coffee, and after the coffee to let her know she could trust me and know for sure I would never be anything to that aries girl other than a buddy. My scorpio girl seemed to be completely fine, because she knows how crazy this aries girl can be and how 'not good' of a relationship that would be with me....plus, ms. aries is in a relationship...so it was all good. Anyway, I go home, try to talk to my scorpio about random things, just to show her I'm home, nothing to worry about, I'm here you know? I ask her some conversational questions since we hadn't talk that much that night and she says her phone is about to die...THEN she dissappears then reappears and then dissappears again...and does that throughout the rest of the night....(Continued)
just by saying hi...then gone for hours, then hi again....never answering any of my questions.
Eventually, she sends one last text saying that her phone had died and that she had to recharge it, but that some guy she is friends with had just called her and she then said that she was sorry for the absence during those times. The guy she was talking about is a guy who is also dating someone, according to her, and that seems to like but she says he is just a friend who likes talking to her and that she just wants to be there for him.
Now, I'm cool about us having our own friends and stuff, but I guess what bothered me is this....I made an effort to let her know about this coffee time long time ago and kept in touch throughout the single hour, while listening to this aries girl who needed an advice and a good friend (due to problems in her own relationship). She (miss scorpio) on the other hand leaves me hanging with my messages while talking, WHILE making time to talk with this guy...for a long time to only then apologize to me later...making me feel like talking to me wasn't a priority that night... I guess I think, hmm, if I would talk to her for a night, after she hangs out with her friends and my phone was about to die and I recharge it...no matter who calls....I would skip that call just to talk to her because I knew she would be waiting for my answer....nobody else would be that important at that moment...friends can wait, I could always call them or my family back after I talk to her.... However, she on the other hand, apparently doesn't think the same way?
Point of the story...maybe this is just a detail and I'm trying not to look into details as much, which is hard for me, but to rather focus on the big picture. So I go back to text messages she sent me in the past that remind me of the things she said she thoughts of me and felt....and I just have to rely on that until we meet again, but am I being smart here? Is her behavior typical of a scorpio? She says she likes me so much, but could it possible that she likes other people besides me that she working with on the side? Meaning, I know she is flirty sometimes (we talked about this before) and I know she could find other people attractive, which is fine, we all have our moments, but is it typical behavior of a scorpio to prioritize friends over people they really like...kinda like aquarius...or is that rare? Scorpio_chic or anyone...any thoughts? (Continued)
Eventually, she sends one last text saying that her phone had died and that she had to recharge it, but that some guy she is friends with had just called her and she then said that she was sorry for the absence during those times. The guy she was talking about is a guy who is also dating someone, according to her, and that seems to like but she says he is just a friend who likes talking to her and that she just wants to be there for him.
Now, I'm cool about us having our own friends and stuff, but I guess what bothered me is this....I made an effort to let her know about this coffee time long time ago and kept in touch throughout the single hour, while listening to this aries girl who needed an advice and a good friend (due to problems in her own relationship). She (miss scorpio) on the other hand leaves me hanging with my messages while talking, WHILE making time to talk with this guy...for a long time to only then apologize to me later...making me feel like talking to me wasn't a priority that night... I guess I think, hmm, if I would talk to her for a night, after she hangs out with her friends and my phone was about to die and I recharge it...no matter who calls....I would skip that call just to talk to her because I knew she would be waiting for my answer....nobody else would be that important at that moment...friends can wait, I could always call them or my family back after I talk to her.... However, she on the other hand, apparently doesn't think the same way?
Point of the story...maybe this is just a detail and I'm trying not to look into details as much, which is hard for me, but to rather focus on the big picture. So I go back to text messages she sent me in the past that remind me of the things she said she thoughts of me and felt....and I just have to rely on that until we meet again, but am I being smart here? Is her behavior typical of a scorpio? She says she likes me so much, but could it possible that she likes other people besides me that she working with on the side? Meaning, I know she is flirty sometimes (we talked about this before) and I know she could find other people attractive, which is fine, we all have our moments, but is it typical behavior of a scorpio to prioritize friends over people they really like...kinda like aquarius...or is that rare? Scorpio_chic or anyone...any thoughts? (Continued)
dytriyin and hikoro -
You might be right about the communication problems...that's why I'm here to try to understand a bit better because I do like this girl.
sekhem and dytrin -
Whe you say make the first move, what are you referring to? I already asked her to be my gf, she already knows my intentions, and I'm being as understanding as I can with her....is there anything I'm missing that will help me to 'step up'?
Kaleidoscorp -
It's so interesting how you and scorpip_chic can relate to some of her phrases...
I like this girl so much...and I still do have some concerns. Sometimes not only regarding our personalities but also our life style s. She is more of a party girl than me and she is a bit more flirtatious than me, but she is few years younger than me (three to be exact) so I know she is going through that stage where she needs attention sometimes and I know she can be committed to me as far as presence. I think its a matter of sorting through some things as we keep on moving.
I'm not scared of being in relationships, I think she is. For me, defining things is way better, but I guess we are all different so I'm patiently working with her through her fears. I do have fears too and concerns as you can see...and other kind of fears I have even talked about here, so I hope it all can be worked out overtime.
I know, by a fact, that we could be so good for each other, sometimes I just wonder if she can handle being in a good relationship right now and if that is something she can have at this time. I hope that is the case, but otherwise I will always learn a new lesson from all this (I'm sure) since this is the first time I ever date a scorpio and the first I have the sort of desires I have within me...for her. I guess we will see. Have you ever dated a Virgo by the way?
Cajun -
My friend! Thanks for replying to my post. You bring up the 'virgo' side here so clearly and know how we can be, so reading you has helped me to stress less. You are being a good buddy at that....'just chill' kinda thing, which all virgos seem to need sometimes. Ha.
Apparently, we aren't always the brightest when picking partners though, have you heard that? Hence my extra cautiouness with this whole thing and relationships in general. I read somewhere that virgos can be so good at various things, but someone don't choose partners as well...yikes, I hope not! But then I see Dy's story with her scorpio lady and it gives me hope. Hope all is well bud!
You might be right about the communication problems...that's why I'm here to try to understand a bit better because I do like this girl.
sekhem and dytrin -
Whe you say make the first move, what are you referring to? I already asked her to be my gf, she already knows my intentions, and I'm being as understanding as I can with her....is there anything I'm missing that will help me to 'step up'?
Kaleidoscorp -
It's so interesting how you and scorpip_chic can relate to some of her phrases...
I like this girl so much...and I still do have some concerns. Sometimes not only regarding our personalities but also our life style s. She is more of a party girl than me and she is a bit more flirtatious than me, but she is few years younger than me (three to be exact) so I know she is going through that stage where she needs attention sometimes and I know she can be committed to me as far as presence. I think its a matter of sorting through some things as we keep on moving.
I'm not scared of being in relationships, I think she is. For me, defining things is way better, but I guess we are all different so I'm patiently working with her through her fears. I do have fears too and concerns as you can see...and other kind of fears I have even talked about here, so I hope it all can be worked out overtime.
I know, by a fact, that we could be so good for each other, sometimes I just wonder if she can handle being in a good relationship right now and if that is something she can have at this time. I hope that is the case, but otherwise I will always learn a new lesson from all this (I'm sure) since this is the first time I ever date a scorpio and the first I have the sort of desires I have within me...for her. I guess we will see. Have you ever dated a Virgo by the way?
Cajun -
My friend! Thanks for replying to my post. You bring up the 'virgo' side here so clearly and know how we can be, so reading you has helped me to stress less. You are being a good buddy at that....'just chill' kinda thing, which all virgos seem to need sometimes. Ha.
Apparently, we aren't always the brightest when picking partners though, have you heard that? Hence my extra cautiouness with this whole thing and relationships in general. I read somewhere that virgos can be so good at various things, but someone don't choose partners as well...yikes, I hope not! But then I see Dy's story with her scorpio lady and it gives me hope. Hope all is well bud!
Scorpio_chic,
Thanks for replying. I smirked when you said 'let it ride', I wish I knew better how to...but I am learning over time.
She and I are both in our 20s...she is close to her mid twenties and I'm passing the mid twenties....just so you have an idea.
The main difference is not the age really as much as life style s since she is still in college (just finishing up her degree) and I'm already working but also at school....but I already have two degrees so it's more like a passion I am following at the same time for me, whereas for her, school is all she does and sees everyday.
You are right about her being a good person, I get the feeling that she is. I guess I just get nervous about her maturity level to be quiet honest, I get unsure as to how much she is ready to handle right now and if I should let it ride now or let it pass and maybe hope that one day she might be more sure about what she wants when she understands what I am willing to offer and the type of connection we have (which I know she does) and she is in a different scene...place in life.
However, putting those thoughts aside for a second, I really like this girl and quiet honestly I'm beginning to long to be with her...which I never do with other people, so I wonder if I should experience this and learn something from it whereas it is a wonderful experience or rather a life-changing one that will teach something for good so that I can close another episode in my life and be done with pretty/confusing girls 🙂
I'm taking some time today too...from texting her like I usually do, I just texted her once. I just need to deal with these confusing thoughts too...maybe go work out or something. I have her in mind...I guess I am also afraid a bit, I don't ever want to be used or lied to...I try my best to never fall for that, but I guess nothing is completely safe in life... I also don't ever want to look like a fool... I'm good at catching liars, but when I like someone is like my radar needs new batteries every other hour, lol, because I can't see clearly...it doesn't work so well. I want to give chances to my heart and life you know?
Scorpio_chic is not like I think she would jump into another relationship, because even though we aren't "labeled" yet I think our expecations of committment are already there by spoken word....its just that for some reason it confuses me to think that one second she says she likes me so much and the other her actions don't seem too much...
Thanks for replying. I smirked when you said 'let it ride', I wish I knew better how to...but I am learning over time.
She and I are both in our 20s...she is close to her mid twenties and I'm passing the mid twenties....just so you have an idea.
The main difference is not the age really as much as life style s since she is still in college (just finishing up her degree) and I'm already working but also at school....but I already have two degrees so it's more like a passion I am following at the same time for me, whereas for her, school is all she does and sees everyday.
You are right about her being a good person, I get the feeling that she is. I guess I just get nervous about her maturity level to be quiet honest, I get unsure as to how much she is ready to handle right now and if I should let it ride now or let it pass and maybe hope that one day she might be more sure about what she wants when she understands what I am willing to offer and the type of connection we have (which I know she does) and she is in a different scene...place in life.
However, putting those thoughts aside for a second, I really like this girl and quiet honestly I'm beginning to long to be with her...which I never do with other people, so I wonder if I should experience this and learn something from it whereas it is a wonderful experience or rather a life-changing one that will teach something for good so that I can close another episode in my life and be done with pretty/confusing girls 🙂
I'm taking some time today too...from texting her like I usually do, I just texted her once. I just need to deal with these confusing thoughts too...maybe go work out or something. I have her in mind...I guess I am also afraid a bit, I don't ever want to be used or lied to...I try my best to never fall for that, but I guess nothing is completely safe in life... I also don't ever want to look like a fool... I'm good at catching liars, but when I like someone is like my radar needs new batteries every other hour, lol, because I can't see clearly...it doesn't work so well. I want to give chances to my heart and life you know?
Scorpio_chic is not like I think she would jump into another relationship, because even though we aren't "labeled" yet I think our expecations of committment are already there by spoken word....its just that for some reason it confuses me to think that one second she says she likes me so much and the other her actions don't seem too much...
like the phone example... If I would ever be away from her and left her hanging with a thought and someone called, if we hadn't talked all day, I honestly would skip that call in order to finish my talk with her unless really was emergency....from a family member. None of my friends calls would get to me at that moment, because her thoughts and not leaving her hanging will be so important for me...not because I have to, but because I would want to....because I like her AND I'm sure my friends would do the same (well, most of them) and completely understand.
...but I have to remember that we are all different beings and maybe, like you said, she thought since "I" helped a friend, she could do that too, it just didn't make much sense because I was so good at communicating with her during my time with my friend and never ever leave her hanging over text. If I leave I say gb, if I'm back I'm back...but it doesn't matter, whatever, maybe I'll get over it tonight....oh life, always with interesting moments.
I honestly don't think I ever analyzed this before, but I think Virgos also feel very deeply....we just aren't as in touch with those things, but we know they are there (feelings) so it bothers us...when we feel like we could get hurt. Those are issues that I'm working on though. I know there are things outside of my relationship with her that I am learning over time. And there is more as to the challenges she and I could face...other aspects that I can't even describe here, but for now I still have hopes that she and I met for a reason and that maybe...she is someone I should be close to and learn to express more of myself with. Thanks for replying again. I am so happy to hear about you and your bf. It gives me hope, because I know a bit about capricorns...and it is also very cool that you say that some of you guys (or most) are into relationships as well 🙂 Later.
...but I have to remember that we are all different beings and maybe, like you said, she thought since "I" helped a friend, she could do that too, it just didn't make much sense because I was so good at communicating with her during my time with my friend and never ever leave her hanging over text. If I leave I say gb, if I'm back I'm back...but it doesn't matter, whatever, maybe I'll get over it tonight....oh life, always with interesting moments.
I honestly don't think I ever analyzed this before, but I think Virgos also feel very deeply....we just aren't as in touch with those things, but we know they are there (feelings) so it bothers us...when we feel like we could get hurt. Those are issues that I'm working on though. I know there are things outside of my relationship with her that I am learning over time. And there is more as to the challenges she and I could face...other aspects that I can't even describe here, but for now I still have hopes that she and I met for a reason and that maybe...she is someone I should be close to and learn to express more of myself with. Thanks for replying again. I am so happy to hear about you and your bf. It gives me hope, because I know a bit about capricorns...and it is also very cool that you say that some of you guys (or most) are into relationships as well 🙂 Later.
Posted by truthseeker_10
Cajun -
My friend! Thanks for replying to my post. You bring up the 'virgo' side here so clearly and know how we can be, so reading you has helped me to stress less. You are being a good buddy at that....'just chill' kinda thing, which all virgos seem to need sometimes. Ha.
Yup, yup.
Apparently, we aren't always the brightest when picking partners though, have you heard that? Hence my extra cautiouness with this whole thing and relationships in general. I read somewhere that virgos can be so good at various things, but someone don't choose partners as well...yikes, I hope not! But then I see Dy's story with her scorpio lady and it gives me hope. Hope all is well bud!
We get used and abused a lot. We are always looking to help people and thus leave our selves open to being used. Say what, it's just learning how to gauge people is all.
About choosing the wrong partner, naw I doubt it.
It all comes down to your age and level of seriousness. Girls in our age group, typically are NOT looking to get married, to take the relationship seriously, to think of the long term.
Girls this age just want to have fun.
Personally speaking, I'm a very tight buttoned guy as Dy would attest to. I'm all serious, all about facts, I don't see the point in dating for fun. I have no reason to sleep around. I am thinking of marriage when I get a partner.
The problem for me is that no one takes things as seriously as I do.
Posted by seavixen2
"I've courted 3 and counseled several. I've had enough for one lifetime..."
that is priceless Cajun LOL!click to expand
... 🙂
Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
^which is the reason I wouldnt have the patience, time or the emotional and mental energy to deal with a scorpio chick^ bleh! its not worth it.
Agreed.
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---------------------------------------------
Just surfing through the web...came to find this place and wanted to ask a simple yet important question...
How can someone build/create more emotional connection with a scorpio woman without disclosing too much of oneself?
Background:
I've been seeing/dating this scorpio lady for over a month now. We felt this magnetism and drawing from day one that we just couldn't resist. I'm a Virgo, she is the one in tune with all these astrological things, me, not so much, but willing to learn.
We have kept things light and simple, inspite of the strong passion we feel, this is something new for me since I have never dated someone who ignited that in me this fast and in this way (so intense). She says she respects me a lot and I feel the same way. We decided to wait instead of rushing in the physical dept. (inspite of the high levels of attraction!) and so far I've been holding still and am willing to work things out the best way possible. The truth is, I want that level intimacy very much...and with her, but I also need to feel safe and secure before that...so I go back and forth with the thoughts of what I should do and when.
One thing she did mentioned that left me perplexed is that...she believes one day we will share all that we want...but that she needs to have more emotional connection...and I have yet to understand what she could have meant by that...
We can talk for hours, have spent lots of time together, and I've slowly shared more of who I am with her. It just takes time with me and also I just don't like disclosing all things, plus I found out recently that it is not good to open up too much or completely with scorpios you like because then you lose that sense of mystery...is that true?
If that is true, then how can I connect with her more in the emotional area without disclosing too much of me? The goal is to connect...not to ever lose each other...so now I'm perplexed and also unsure as to what to do and how to do it.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!I really like this girl.