To anyone who's ever loved, lost and retrieved a V

My best wishes goes out to anyone that has ever fallen into a Virgo's poisonous web.

Virgo's have their own agendas and if you have something that fits perfectly into their lives at that precise moment, they will use you up until there is no more, but by then you have fallen in love with them only because they are so charming and have a gorgeous smile that melts all of your fears away.

You only lose them when their "need" is depleted from you and it is being fulfilled elsewhere (sorry, they do cheat because they haven't learned the meaning of being faithful...to one person...especially since so many of their FRIENDS (as they're classified) need their attention (regardless of whether it's financial, emotional, sexual, mentally, etc), but in the long run, they return with their hopes, lies and excuses hoping you will forgive them for their "naughtiness". This is when they want you to be there for them when they need you...coining the phrase "...friends til the end."

This is an endless cycle that repeats itself constantly as long as you let it. This is how the Virgo lives and thinks.

After you have been through the cycle the first time and notice their "pattern" evolving the next time around, throw a monkey wrench in their plans and stir things up. They absolutely HATE it when things don't go their way. They've already analyzed what they were going to do and how you SHOULD respond, but do the opposite of what's expected and see how "emotional" the Virgo gets charged up...usually ready for an argument.

If it comes to that, don't say a word, simply smile or smirk, turn and walk away. Don't fret, they won't leave because you have put a major mystery on their minds and they MUST know what happened and what to do next. It's all a Virgo game and when you've played it for several years, you wind up becoming an expert on knowing what to do in order to figure out your Virgo male or female. Virgos have lots of friends, but only a few of them that continue to take their abuse are truly considered their friends...for life.

Good luck,
Tuffie

Hi Tuffie,

Ouch - you sound much like Freebird. You have obviously been an unhappy player in this game too! Why do posts like this appear so often in reference to Virgo men??

Surely the solution is not to run away from any Virgo man? I detest games too and do not wish to play them. Is there anyway to have a satisfying relationship with a man such as this? Do you think this is done consciously? The last thing I want is to be in a relationship where I have to cause drama to get someone's attention.

ScorpGal5

second that scorpgal!!

I truly want a loving and lasting relationship; however, it won't be with a Virgo. I hate the games as much as any woman, but I seem to notice that Virgo men are the only ones that continue to play them. The planets must be playing tricks as well because I seem to be pulling them in from out of nowhere.

Drama? The drama is already there waiting to be unleashed at the first sign of discomfort and you are simply trying to avoid any unwanted comments or criticism that the Virgo man will give you. And believe me, they give some pretty harsh ones that sting indefinately and they don't even blink. It comes to them so easily as if it's their second nature.

Is this done consciously? Maybe...maybe not...can't really tell, but if you want a satisfying relationship with a Virgo man, remember he will be the one setting the length of the relationship which can last anywhere from a day to several years. I don't think Virgo's have long lasting satisfying relationships.

Why are there so many posts like mines appearing quite frequently on Virgo's? Seems like there are a LOT of Virgo men out there doing the same thing to so many different women (or vice versa), wouldn't you say? It can't be just one person creating all this havoc.

Tuffie

Thanx Cancerbuddy, I love you, too. Hugs and smooches will do just fine honey. It's amazing how much a mind treetr*nk can stimulate the rest of your body as though you are having a complete and altruistic orgasm, without the actual penile penetration. You go through the nerve rattling shakes, the hot and cold flashes, and then the stress meltdown...but unfortunately, you are bound to have another "blowjob" the next time you see this person.

I wish I was so lucky to rid myself of this unwanted specimen. The more I play his mind games (and actually win a few of them), the more he leaves then RETURNS for more. I can't understand it and it's driving me freaking crazy. He doesn't know what GO AWAY FOREVER means. He's worn down my kind hearted Pisces nature and we're playing hardball with no love. Wish me luck.

Hi Tuffie,

You have such a way with words 😉 !! But you are being very honest, and I must admit to feeling much the same much too often...

I have blamed much of this on myself - after all I must be letting my 'friend' have this effect on me. This is all new to me, never before has anyone affected me this way. This can't be healthy!! I was wondering if I was nuts to be feeling such physical side-effects.

What to do though?? I guess this is something we have to deal with ourselves. Freebird said she managed to just stop letting her 'friend' have any effect on her, she just wouldn't care any longer when he called her up. This means that we need to truly accept the situation and that it will never change unless we change ourselves.

I am struggling with this very hard now too. I would prefer a clean break - just stop taking calls, etc. - but I am not in that position so this is many times harder than it would be otherwise. I envy you Cancerbuddy, time can heal much easier without the reminders that come every time you talk to the person...


ScorpGal5

Hi CB,

Yeah - unhealthy it is! But a clean break is not possible for me. My relationship has gone from work partner to 'best friend' (not my words) to lover over the past few years.

Now I can't just make that break - I have to try to make something 'healthy' out of this... The lover part is very recent, but it felt just as bad when I was 'best friend'. 😢

ScorpGal5

Dearest ScorpGal5~

It took me a long time to get where I am emotionally but I did it and what is most important that I realized is.....I needed to figure this out in my own way to "fit" me. Yes, we want answers, ideas, something, ANYTHING so that we can feel better but guess what? You will figure it out and it will work out. If you can, don't think about it (the situation and him) think about YOU and your happiness, do what makes you feel good and before you know it, you will be changing and adjusting to your needs and desires. This works.....what we resist, will persist. I found other things to do in my life, others to hang out with. And when I did see my friend or if he called (I would only answer if I felt like speaking with him) all was fine because I was coming from a different and healthier emotional place for me. It is easy now....we are "friends". What is neat to me is that we were - rather I was able to look at this in a different way so that we could be friends with no hard feelings. Yes, this does take more work but it is worth it.

We have spoken lately and it has been quite nice...no pressure, no missing him...just movin on to explore more of life. You will get there in the "right" time for you. No worries, just be and have fun.

I saw my friend today....he pulled me over saying that he had something to tell me. I said, what could that be? He said, "I love you." I replied, "I love you too." but in a friendly pal way as that is what it is for me.

My best to you my scorp friend....hey, I ran into a past scorp guy today and boy....he is the ONLY man who has ever moved my DNA out of order! He asked for my phone number and suggested that we get together sometime. I said, sure..I'd enjoy that. 🙂

Freebird

Hi Freebird,

Thanks so much for responding - and you are so right! I know this is what I have to do too. This is the only solution for me.

Still - I can't quite let go yet. I was working towards that a few months ago when we were still 'friends' and then suddenly (and totally surprisingly) he showed romantic interest in me. Hmm - guess I shouldn't have gone there because nothing else really changed and of course that hurt...

I sure hope I'm one of those people who manages to move on and not hang around moping, but there are certain circumstances I can't change so I guess I'll have to let time do it's thing!

Thanks again for your kind words.

ScorpGal5

ScorpGal5: Hang in there. Yeah, maybe you should have just remained friends without the intimacy if you felt any reservations about it, because I've found they don't show it often enough. It "pops up" (no pun intended...yeah right (ha ha ha)only when THEY want it. If you really love him, give it a try and make it work the best you can. This one may not be as bad as all the rest, but still keep some reservation if you see any "sudden and unexpected" changes developing.

Freebird: Sounds like you've moved on to a more successful adventure. Whoopee!!! I'm glad you are friends with your ex, and I hope he continues to value it as just that.

Cancerbuddy: Keep your head up, because once you release the tensions of the emotion sucking Virgo vampires (here I go with my words again), along comes this sweet sensation hunky dream that makes you forget everything from the past. He's right around the corner.

Tuffie

Hello to you Tuffie~

Yep, I too hope that my "friend" can value our relationship just as a friend. Something - perhaps that small voice within is saying ...I don't think so but...I could be wrong. He called this morning wanting to know if he could repair some rotting wood on my home. Actually, he had mentioned doing this for me awhile back. I am just finding it weird that he would now want to come over to fix this. Hmmmm...so, he comes by to take the measurements and said that he will go and buy all the supplies and take care of it. I must say that I was a little caught off guard but do appreciate the kindness. I know that I could say no to him and pay someone else to do it but why look a gift horse in the mouth? I know he does good work.

I've read where a woman should have a man around the house who can fix things, one who enjoys going on adventures, one who is a great lover, and one who loves to cook. The most important thing is that these four shall never meet. He can be my "fix - it" man. 🙂

Any thoughts on do you think that he really is doing this out of the kindness of his heart or does he have other motives? Please be honest!!!!

Thanks,
Freebird

Hi Freebird,

Sounds like a great plan if you can pull it off 😉 !!!

But as I read your message, I think it sounds like you already may know the answer to your question...

You say that a small voice is saying that your friend will not necessarily value your relationship as just a friend. If this is true then he would likely be there to try and win you back.

But if you aren't sure, you can just let him perform this favor for you, thank him very kindly and then just see what the response is. I have read that Virgos do like to continue relationships just as friends - and some people just like to feel appreciated and needed regardless of the romantic involvement. Do you think your friend could be like this? How does he treat his other friends?

ScorpGal5

Hi ScorpGal,

This "friend" is an Aquarian. In the past he has offered to fix things for me and then has not showed up. Unfortunately for me and by golly Scorpy I am LEARNING to not be so forgiving - funny thing about him...he comes back as a wonderful friend and all seems good..this is when one is most vulnerable. I look back on today and how I felt. I felt distant, I even asked him why did he want to fix my wood? (I thought it was so unusual for him out of the blue to offer this to me). I see now that perhaps he is hurt, hurt that I have moved on. In the past, when he has felt hurt....he has "blown" me off by offering to do something and then not show up. Hmmmm...yep, Scorpy (I hope you don't mind me calling you that) the small voice needs to be listened to. I am going to email him a note letting him know that I am not interested in his help.

Must go for now...a good friend is here to take me out to dinner (Leo)

Freebird

Nah...I changed my mind..I will not email him. I will let nature take it's coarse and see what happens. If he follows through, great! If not, no big loss as I already have someone else to fix my wood if he is a no show. AND...that will then be the end of that so called friendship. Time reveals all. One of my favorite quotes..."Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him." ~unknown

Hope all is well with you and the rest of the Duncan gang!

Freebird

My lovely and fiery Aries lady... Freebird...

Why so many swings in mood..?? I am sure you know what you are doing..but....arent you flying too fast..??

🙂

Dear Freebird...
just a reminder... when you flying too high or too fast.. think of Icarus..
🙂

Hi Qbone my friend!!!! Sheesh, you seem to hammer that nail right on the head! Thanks for showing up and pointing that out to me.

Perhaps I am flying too close to the sun and my waxed wings may melt causing me to fall. I am truly not sure why the changing of the mind...yes I am...the mind and the heart are not in sync at the moment. Clarity is sitting on the curb waiting for me to pick it up and take it home. Meanwhile, I am flying soaring the skies enjoying my adventures only to find myself once again in a "pickle." So many toys in this giant toy store and they all are grabbing for my attention and I have no clue which toy to play with!!!!! I want to experience them all...isn't this what life is about? exploring, discovering, making mistakes and learning from them? Oh my......what is a bird to do?

Mercury Retro perhaps—— this seems to cause confusion...not a good time to make decisions.

Discombobulated bird flying the friendly skies of planet earth!

Freebird, you are absolutlely right. Life is a maze of adventures with so many twists and turns for exploring, discovering and naturally making mistakes. Where would we be if we didn't do any of these things? The psycho farm, of course.

As for your toys, remember...if you break it, you buy it (ha ha ha), so don't play with anything you can't afford. And when fate deals you a crummy hand, shuffle the cards back into the bottom of the deck and say, "Hit me again (but not so hard this time)."

As for your friend fixing your house, if he wants to fix it, let him (especially if he knows what he is doing). Give him a date and a time and see if he shows up. Also remember to pay him a little something (I'm not speaking of favors, but in cash), that way he can't ever come back and bring it up to you saying he did this or he did that and you never helped him out or anything (you know how the memory fades over time and become selective). This way he will definately know that he is JUST a FRIEND.

Cancerbuddy, not only is it his GIGANTIC SUPERFICIAL LOSS, but someone else's ENORMOUS and FORTUNATE FIND. You are the purest treasure that someone is looking for and believe me, they will find you and your precious golden heart.

Why of coarse...silly, silly me the impulsive aries ram that I am who rushes in to grab a toy without *thinking* who has only one goal in mind (to have fun and play) not even noticing that there is a warning label on the toy itself. Heck, forget those labels...I'll find out myself how they work and what I can do with them. If they don't work to my satisfaction I will gladly put them back on the shelf for someone else to try them out or "play" with them.
Eventually I will find the perfect toy that will keep me interested and that I will keep interested as well.

!WARNING:

-Handle this toy with care, may break if handled too roughly.

-Battery life not too long.

-If toy gets to hot while playing, it may burn up...wear protective gear when playing.

-Contains Energizer Batteries...this toy will keep you entertained for hours.

-Do not play with this toy after dark...all parts are not visable and may cause injury.

-NO batteries required.

-Caution, do not digest. Not fit for human consumtion.

-Adult supervision required. Discard broken pieces at once.

-Failure to follow instructions could affect burn time and result in a fire hazard.

Think I will find myself a slinky or some silly putty to play with for now.

Freebird

Thank you Tuftolove for your kind words and yes, I will most definately pay him for his work. I could not agree with you more.

Perhaps card playing is a safe bet for me? What is safe for a fiery Ram? We have NO FEARS!

heading out for yet another adventureous day....

Have a great day~

Dear Freebird...!

In that store ?some toys can't be touched...some for experienced players and some for common use? be careful lady?!

One thing I always tell to my very close friends.. I mean very close friends..!!
"Change your mind?Mind your change?!!"
Its all I can say..
🙂

I'll be around (when you mind your changes...)
🙂

Foot note for the freebird
Be safe lady..... Studying your past post/experiences is scary..!you have a tendency to be somewhere that even flying angles fears to treat...!!
Be safe. and know that I/we care and love you.
🙂

By all means do be careful and remember the number one warning of them all - "Safeguard your heart at all times."

Thank you so much Qbone and tuf2luv. I really do appreciate your concern for me and will do the best that I am able to. I have learned that life in itself is the "gift". Perhaps I sound as if I am some type of daredevil of sorts (not sure exactly what your meant Q about my posts being scary). And yes, I have gotten myself in a pickle or two but....I have learned, I have felt pain, love, joy, saddness...many emotions. I have been on many paths - even the difficult ones have turned out to be good.

Thanks again for caring and loving me...I feel the same about you.

Great Wonderful Sensational Marvelous news...I'm free at last, I'm free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last. That nagging pestering Virgo has finally gotten attached to someone else and moved on with his life. Me and my children can now continue to live again without him being around. This feels sooooo good and I am soooooo happy for him that I could just bust, but I am even more excited for myself because now I can fully concentrate on my Sagittarius lover and think about starting a life with him. Wish me luck.

Good for you, tuf2luv...freedom is a great feeling! So happy for you and that you can now move on with your Saggie lover...I do wish you the best of luck but I have a very strong feeling that all is well and perfect in your world at this moment.

Well, to catch you all up....I too am FREE from the above MR. I took myself away for the long weekend and spent time with me and my thoughts about my life and choices. Clarity came through for me and I see the bigger picture and so many possibilities for me. The Mr. has been calling me and leaving me msgs but I will not answer nor return his calls. I am through for the last and final time...I have moved on in all ways. What helped me was to see the truth and the situation for what it is....he will not change but I can and I have!

So, tuf2luv....I KNOW how you feel and I am right there with you....FREEDOM!!!!!! Happy Independence day to you my Free-Lady and congratulations!!!!

Here Here...I feel you Freebird. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to finally feel a breath of fresh air come over you and take you away into the next level of life. You wonder why it's taken so long, but then realize that you are holding yourself back from experiencing the great pleasures of life.

We instinctively hold onto whatever we feel we are losing because we want to make the most of it and hope that it lasts, but if it's time to go, then it's time to go...bye bye. Yeah, it hurts, but that's the balance we need...Love and Pain...in order to grow much wiser.

So Freebird, rejoice because baby you are headed for the next greatest level of life and love. You've shed the layers of the disappointing aftermath of that unfortunate someone and it's time to see the new and improved YOU. Smile, it can only get better until the next road bump. Have more of those getaways even it's for a day and see what else you may have overlooked. It's time to find the buried treasure out there.

Awh...tuf2luv my friend, you are not tuf at all to luv infact, you are easy2luv 🙂 Thank you for your very thoughtful and encouraging words and you are so right - life does get better and new opportunities enter with ease and surprise.

My life is a discovery, a mystery and by golly a definate adventure! I should have connected with Indiana Jones somewhere on this road..talk about "road-bumps!"

Have a great day my friend 😉

Hey Guys,

Im in the same situation Mr. Virgo whom im dealing with acts so difficult...... He say cute little things at time and attimes avoids me royally.... Im so upset with him... i dont understand y i accept him back each time he tries to....He avoids me and then calls me to say he wants to meetme... Its like me living in a relation on his terms and condition.... I called him to wish him on his birthday which was today .... he was with his friends.... it seemed as if he was not happy to receive my call at all ...... he said he will call back and didnt return my call... I feel like giving him back... Im really hurt this time.... i liked him a lot... and he is using me ruthlessly.... I hve started Hating him.... but somehow im again pulled back tohim... i just dont understand how to get over this

Reka-
the desire to be desired is a powerful thing. you seem to be in the position of wanting him to want you. and he seems to be in the same position.
thus the tug of war begins....
we as humans are so great yet so incredibly stupid(self included).
now correct me if im wrong yall, but I heard once that humans are only one chromosome apart from chimpanzees. just something to think about...

tealeafhunter-
I agree ith you may be its jus a tug of war but in this case he seems to be more in control of his desire than im .... he can stay without calling me for days .... but its always i who make the 1st move... he is so scared of accepting things all he says is we are jus good friends... we dont smooch our good friends... y cant he be claer of what he wants.... he says he want to come and see me.... and then one fine day he jus walks off... what is he trying to get....

on the lighter notes.... chimpanzees are better then us....

Reka-
I have come to believe that Virgo men just don't know what they want...or they want their cake and eat it too. I have been involved with a Virgo man for the past 9 months and it has been a roller coaster ride from the get-go. The first time I met him I felt like he looked directly at my soul. There was such a magnetic chemistry between us that I felt I had to have him. Must be the polarity..(I'm a pisces). But he has done nothing but evade any emotional issues..not a good thing for this pisces gal. I think it will be a cold day in hell when a virgo man decides what he really wants..and acts on it..Their tug of wars inevitabily become ours..but only if we let them. Choose to let him dictate the "boundaries" of your relationship or move on..But it's not that easy.

BTW..loved the lighter note.. 🙂

Guys,

I agree with you they just drench you emotionally.... i want to think he is not worth may time and effort but i cant get over him ... when i have made up my mind that i have got over him and he is out ... just then he is back out of the blue asking me how am i doing and i am all ovr it again.... he just doesnt allow me to be firm on my decissions or thats the way he wants me to be ... always wondering whta next ... i think he enjoys this... at times i have this feeling that he is just playing with me ... comes to me when he feels like and i like a fool keep accepting him ....

Reka,

I totally understand...I have been trying to get my virgo guy out of my head since the first time that I kissed him. They have this magnet that just draws you to them, makes you feel sorry for them, makes you want to fix their pain and see them smile..Then when you give them what you think they want, they soak it up like a sponge, and move on. He's never been cruel or mean to mean or super virgo critical and picky...but he has been very evasive..wanting things on his terms only, refusing to "confront" the things that I want to do deal with..It's very frustrating..and like you, I think I have him out of my head and then he's right back in the picture wanting to "fulfill" his needs...viscious cycle I tell ya. 🙂 Good luck!!! All of you who have been bitten by the virgo bug!

mistyeyedfish,

Though its not a long term relation, but he has a lot of friends (girls) at times when he doesn't pick my call i have feeling that may be he is with some girl annd thus trying to avoid me.... i dont want him to know that im jealous and give him a upper hand , but the fact remains that im.... he says we are friends but his action speaks of something m ore than that.... i jus want to get over him.... but thats not happening .. he was away for sometime with his family... hve now come back to US but for sure he is changed... he doesnt talk to me as often as he used to... avoids me... aand when i think its over ... he is like he wants to meet me... this is driving me crazy....

Reka,

Honey, YOU are driving yourself insane at this point, not your Virgo. You need to let this one go because he is not worth the stress and tension that you are going through.

Virgo men DO know what they want from a person and once they have gotten that "satisfied" ego boosting obsession that they were requiring at the time out of their system, they move on to the next conquest, but keep you around just in case they need you again.

You will not be completely out of his life because whatever he needed from you (attention, love, money, etc) and you gave it to him without hesitation, means he knows he can always get it from you without you being resistant. You have never showed him that you can stand up to him, so he plays his little games with you.

Don't give in to him anymore. If he wants something, tell him you don't have it and continue that cycle until he realizes that you have caught on to him. Yes, he has plenty of friends that are females and believe me, they are going through the same thing.

He told you that you are just FRIENDS, so believe him, he will only keep it at that level and nothing more. There's no need to be jealous because in his eyes you are just a friend that he can use when he's ready. If you are looking for romance possibly marriage, it won't be with him. He's having too much fun having his cake and eating it, too along with several different flavors of ice cream on the side, too.

So go out there and meet you some new friends...that are not Virgo's and you'll see the difference.

tuf2luv,

Thanks a lot.... i agree he is jus trying to do what u said... i will also be jus like him ... speak to him when i feel like, go out with him if i have no one... hope that will do good to my ego.... He jus called yesterday... planning to meet me next weekend.... He talked as if he is doing a favour... i gave him a piece of mind ... told him thta he is a very selfish self centered person who cannot value people.... that got him upset and he was like if i think so he will no speak to me again ... I completely ignored him for a day... the next day he was back trying to crack some jokes and behaved normally as if nothin happened the previous day.... i have decided i will not call him ... if he wants let him call me...

Will keep u updated...

Perhaps a 12 step program may help?

Cancerbuddy
I know wht your trying to say.... cocaine wld be a better solution than his web...🙂

Freebird...
I will think abt it.... do u know some quick steps ...🙂

Tuf2luv and Cancerbuddy are so right Reka....especially I like the cocaine bit and web idea....I was addicted to a Mr. Virgo for over 2 years....he was like my drug - I was on a high when things were good with him and on a downer when things were bad... one day he was oh so nice, next day nasty, then he'd ring the following day as if nothing had happened and joking and laughing. If you do decide to enter into the web with your Mr. Virgo - just make sure you got your virgo bullet-proof heart vest on - he will hurt you to the core and yet you will never get him out of your head!!!

A x

Hi Guys,

just a quick hi to all of you, Latest update on my Mr. Virgo as always had sweet talks .... then was a process of hybernaion🙂 with no explanation offered.... Then again a sudden call saying he want to meet me over the weekend. He say that we have a chemistry ... hehehe.... actually he meant his biological needs were getting strong 🙂.... i have discovered this when he wants something out of you he will talk sweetly to you... I think he is going to meet me on sunday so he is trying to be extra sweet..

Just wondering can i get him to this stage of thinking hard... like i do.... even i want to affect no matter how trivial it is ... but even i want him o wonder.

Take care

sounds like a matter of someone leading the donkey that is riding you...

can you affect a virgo ...i mean make him miss you.... call you.... make him come out and show his emotions.... does he have any?

Sure you can ...tell him that you no longer want to see him. And then, enjoy the next man who comes into your life who will appreciate YOU for YOU!

hmm

i just hope .. i could move on im trying hard.... but he coming constantly back in my life every now and then makes my decission weak.... he is meeting me this weekend

Thanks CB for the compliment...

Reka,

Why do you think he leaves and comes back? Hmmm...I will throw some thoughts out there to ponder on.

1) When he comes back - do you two share intimate moments together? If so, could be he is just after the sex and you happen to be very conveinent for him till the next time he needs it.

2) If no sex is involved - it could be that he is scared of intimacy or his feelings or how to deal with them.

3) A man KNOWS when he has control of a woman and she will do whatever he asks...(returns to him after a long absense)

If 1 and 3 are true for you I would have to agree with CB on this one and CUT THE CORD so that you will gain the strength you need to move on and to more importantly, grow as Reka needs to grow. This man does not deserve such a woman as you...

Moving on is hard Reka no doubt about that...been there done that. But, the payoff for your peace of mind will be so worth it...I know you can do this and we are here to help you...just ask.

Be strong~
Freebird