To anyone who's ever loved, lost and retrieved a V (Page 3)

well really its mostly for me....
also i hear that laughter is one of the greatest medicines for a sore heart...mine as well as others.
i suppose mine should be first huh.
thanks for the added questions.

TLH...my friend...
I am not sure about humour thing....I know a lot of people that try to be funny and joking a lot "to escape from their sore heart or bad time"?.
Its not good at all? it is not a solution?its escape?
Listen?.. nothing and nobody in this world can make you feel sad but yourself, I can swear by that?.nothing and nobody..!! you have no reason to be sad unless you want it this way?.you've lost your courage? you've lost your heart?and you've lost your love?..so what..??....1000,000s of possibilities are out there just waiting for you to show up?if someone particular does not appreciate your intention, then its her problem.. not yours?.talking about your problem is also make you feel better?joking and to laughing at problems wont solve anything..
🙂

Dearest Q-bone and Alana - "numbness" I am! What beautiful words you both have expressed - thank you. I must say that this board is chock full of incredible people who have wonderful and true hearts...the best thing about that is, the "sharing" of our hearts. Q, Alana is so correct...ya just NEVER know when we all might meet..anything is possible if you believe! 😉 And...would that not be awesome? The world would never be the same...we would never be the same...life would never be the same!!!!

Again, thank you both from the bottom of heart for your kind words 🙂

Hey.... lady Freebird.... I wanted to believe that it was a "compliments"....but its not... you are truly amazing..!!!
I am honoured to communicate with you.
🙂

Dear Freebird
So correct you are with your wisdom...I'm still speechless...the way wee see this world and this reality affects all??.
Sigh??.

🙂

🙂 Thank you, Q-bone. You are one incredible amazing man yourself and I am honored as well in communicating with you. The spoken word..it has the ability to heal and to kill...how powerful is that?

Hey guys,

Just thought of saying a quick Hi to all you guys.... On personal front I have stopped worrying about my Mr. Virgo. I have just moved on... we dont talk often... just meet each other sometimes on chat... so that how it is... Thank you all you guys for helping me out.

Hi Everybody!
I have just joined this site a few days ago and been having an incredibly good time reading all your comments. All the virgo bashing has had me smile form ear to ear. All the so called negative qualities of virgos is what has endeared me to them. I would call them sharp, precise, with their neat little head on their perfect shoulders, following their dreams with total focus and not pretencious at all. I would say they are honest to the core. Yes they do manipulate. But all the virgos whom i know ve confessed this to me. And what more they have even confessed that in matters of heart they are straight and dont compromise. They are principled! Like I have mentioned elsewhere that people get so goddamn mad at virgos is because they are so perfect when they are getting cozy with you that when it is time for them to pursue their goals, they cut you off with such precision that it hurts. They are great planners. They have time for every thing. When it is time for romance, vow! there is nobody like them, but when their sense of duty calls them, they switch off and attend their call for duty and fully expect you to adjust.
I have never been involved with a virgo, but have female friends who fall into this typical slot. One male virgo is at present the object of my passion. I will try to work on getting him close as soon as i get back home ( i am out of town right now).
For a cancerian i am really objective and I have no emotional expectations from this Mr Virgo. Which i am sure will suit him just fine, as he has declared to his friends that he may never ever get married.
See I am so busy in life- Have a decent income, with 3 lovely children. never got married! I learn music and dabble into eastern philosophy. By the way it is in my music class that i met the Mr. Virgo. So you see I have no time to expend my emotions on anybody's games. Infact most of the time I dont even notice them. I have found happiness in sharing my life with my children, doing my work sincerely and indulging in my artistic hobbies. When i meet somebody interesting i have a wild time...candlelight dinners..dance....the breakoff usually happens whenever i start experiencing emotional tension beyond a certain point. And uptill now i ve always split without feeling victimised!
Getting back to this Mr Virgo. He doesn't have good friends because of his so called annoying behaviour. But i don't see him being bothered about it. He is one of the most content person that i have ever come across.I would love to have a truly passionate relationship with him....till it lasts.Honestly speaking what i feel for him is a sense of comraderie and passion. Even when we split i would love to remain friends with him, as i ve read and experienced that cancer-virgo is a great combination!

Hey Guys,

I am back again this time hurt betrayed by my Mr. Virgo... I tied to cut of from him but i dont know cant jus get over him... I had been to my country sometime back and came back to US, didnt tell him about this development ... i think that pissed him off... he was like let stop communicating... because we just end up fighting... i was taken a back never expected this from him, he was like either be there or be gone.... after that i tried calling him he would just ignore me ... and would say its just that he is busy these days.. he doesnt take my calls nor does he call me back.... may be he wants to end this... but im teribly hurt.. because all through the while it was he who was deciding our relation... when he wanted it he kept it... the moment thinks he dont need me he is out... its hurting me... i dont know if i expalin him how i feelwould help... beacuse every time i get there he just avoids... i just hate this feeling... i dont even want to break up with him. ... and talking with him is not working... dont understand why he is like this.. may be i don want to let go... Can some1 pls help

Hi Reka!
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Yes virgo men always end up being one to decide the relationship. They are analysing people and situations all the time. It can really drive you up the wall. They are this way in just every kind of friendship/relationship. I have yet to meet a male virgo who tries to make good effort to comfort somebody whom they have hurt. They do, but it all depends on the role that person is playing in their life. And believe me that person is then blessed. For then they go all out to sooth ragged nerves. Let me tell you they do have a conscience and regret having been the cause of hurt. They dont show it.
I have not read your previous posts regarding your relationship with My Virgo. But from today's post what i can understand is that yuo had fille dup a certain slot in his life. But now he maybe questioning it. He knows that you still have feelings for him. Maybe he is giving you time to get over him. You will come to know what importance you have in his life only by giving him space.
My Mr. Virgo behaves in same way with all the females who have a crush on him. He is very polite to them, is flattered by their attention but he doesn't want them in his life. So what eh does is, he takes them out and somehow by his talks helps to overcome their hangup on him. Funny right! But that's what he has told us...his close circle. Now I have a crush on him. His glances towards me are that of interest, but I hesitate because of what i have seen other girls going through with him.
But like I have mentioned in other posts, I am not complaining. I am interested in gratification. If it happens fine. Or else we will remain just friends. I admire this guy totally. He makes things happen. It is amazing how he has most of the females eating out of his palms.
I am afrais Reka, you will have to cultivate an iron will and resist him. Try self-hypnosis. It will work. And look around you. World is full of compatible people.

Hi Reka There is a spelling mistake in this sentence
"I have not read your previous posts regarding your relationship with My Virgo..."
It is Mr Virgo

hi everyone

Hello Reka.

I'm not sure how to say this without potentially offending. Just realize I'm trying to offer a little perspective here. I'm reading your last post, and even from this distance, you're kind of freaking me out. You're spazzing out on him. We (archetype Virgos) don't do volatile emotion well. I mean, it feels like you're about to pull a cape-less Superman out a window. You're hurting. It's a candle in the dark, you can't miss it, but you feel drastic. Needy. There's this overwhelming vibration of desperation in the post.

"i was taken a back never expected this from him . . . after that i tried calling him he would just ignore me ...he doesnt take my calls . . .does not call me back.... im teribly hurt.. . its hurting me... every time . . .he just avoids... i just hate this feeling... i dont . . . want to break up with him. ... talking is not working... dont understand why he is like this.. i don want to let go... Can some1 pls help"

You really love this guy, I get that. So try to detach from your emotion a little and understand him for a moment. You seem to be throwing yourself at him so fiercely, he's recoiling. If he wants it to be over, you don't have sway over that. You're running yourself ragged. You don't think either of you are communicating, but you are. Your actions are screaming at him "Love me!! Take me back!! Stop being this way!! You're hurting me!!" It's so intense. I'm feeling frazzled just reading and responding. Back off him. You're hurting, you don't want to lose him. But this extreme emotional bend is doing just that. The tone in your post, the spelling, grammar, I'm guessing all this reflects you at this moment. You're so charged and intense it's causing a repulsion.

For you to feel this deeply, I assume the relationship was passionate. If I was him, more than likely I'd genuinely care. Regardless of how he may seem, feelings don't just vanish. He probably does. I may even be hurting. He certainly could be, but you two are responding to the same stimulus so differently, it's creating a barrier. You maybe able to maneuver in this temperamental, charged terrain, I can't, and if he's even partially a typical Virgo, I seriously doubt he can either. The same way your actions are screaming, so are his to you. You're perceiving he's avoiding you, ignoring you. You're doing the same. His avoidance is saying, "Back off. Give me time." It's not what you want to hear but, I mean . . .he obviously needs time. Let me tell it, so do you. If you care about him, give it to him. You never know, he may come around when he perceives things have cooled off. Pushing, aggressiveness, it's obviously not working. Give the alternative a chance. Time and space.

Please, don't take offense to any of this. This is just an opinion based on what was given. I'm sorry if the edges on my tone seem sharp, or the language coarse, I mean nothing by it. I honestly don't know how else to put it. If nothing I've said is applicable, in your next post call me an idiot and ignore it.

Either way, I'm sorry you're hurting. Hope things get better.

VirgoSquared

Hi Reka,

Yes - listen to VirgoSquared - what he said is so true!! When things started going bad for my virgo friend and I last summer, I first tried to ignore it as I had pretty much sabotaged things myself as there were aspects of what were going on between us that I couldn't live with. It made me very sad though, and I couldn't hide that.

Unfortunately there were some other things that really hurt though - such as I knew he was up on the on-line dating sites during this time - and it was starting to make me crazy. And as everyone here must know by now - I just can't hide my feelings completely - especially when I'm upset.

Well my Virgo could sense my tension. It scared the hell out of him. He couldn't deal with it. And I hadn't even said anything or called etc. I think this is the reason he made the decision on his side not to continue the relationship.

And honestly - I couldn't believe I felt that way. It felt horribly destructive. I had already decided that I couldn't continue with our 'arrangement' as well, but I definitely needed some time. I did go away for a few days, but it wasn't long enough. These things take time and I still get waves of emotion.

I'm still at the end of this too - so I can't assure you that this will go away right away. But you need to let yourself be OK with what is happening. Things DO happen for a reason. Maybe he was wrong for you - if you feel this way that may be true? That is how I feel about it. If the situation with him is right, then you will heal and learn and perhaps he will return. And he will heal and learn about you too.

But you mustn't make it too scary! If you really want him back you must hide this desperation away until it passes. And it will...

ScorpGal

I heard yesterday on the radio that choc. (dark) is good for the heart but must be eaten in "moderation"...EVERYTHING is good in moderation. So, I say to those with hurting hearts...have some chocolate to heal that little cut...band-aids come in all types😉it's on me!

I bave not yet met this new Virgosquared guy..so how ya doin? Nice to see you here and welcome...you are a delightful addition to these boards..thanks for stopping by and for staying! Hi again to ScorpGal and Loonybird..hey, are we related by chance? I see you are also in the "bird" family. 🙂

Virgos...whew, they are all over the place and the girls are going wild...some powerful energy they contain and once touched by this power....one seems to be a goner.

Hope you don't mind if I throw some of my experiences to you through cyberville....as always - you can take it...digest it or throw it out - whatever works for you.

I seem to think that this "relationship" stuff is really very easy and we find ways to complicate it. What I feel causes complications is who we are and the world that we come from - meaning we each have our own little world where our thoughts live, where we have been domesticated by others and this is who we become (if we choose to). So when we meet another human we have two different worlds that are now joining together for reasons unknown to each person...the journey of discovery now begins - and this journey will be teaching each person lessons about themselves...your choice whether to use a seatbelt or not...I say "let go" and enjoy the ride knowing that everything is temporary and this is a learning experience.

Very simple clues regarding both men and women....

If a guy says he is too busy and he does not return your call...well, sorry but he just is not that into you. Think a moment ladies how you respond to a guy that will make advances on you and you are not really interested in him...what would you do? Honestly, I have not returned calls, emails and when asked why I did not return a call my response? "gee, I have really been busy lately..sorry." When ANYONE is interested in someone there are NO games...there are NO questions, NO doubts...women I think more so than men have a tendency to make up excuses for men's behaviour...ie. he has been busy lately, he will get back to me when he has a chance, he has been very tired..work has taken a toll on him, yada..yada..you get my point. Men can smell these type of woman a mile away and they know just how to get what they want when they want it...hence, they are now in control. We have instincts...we need to learn to listen to them because they will NEVER fail you. Pay attention to the actions, observe, let things happen naturally without expectations..if it flows..great! If not, okay...next! I don't mean for this to sound cold and I apologize if it does...but guys are very simple creatures and we can learn a lot from them.

Regarding the above post....about calling a guy to get in touch with him because he has not returned your call...yeah, I agree with Virgoman. I had a guy keep calling me because I did not return his call...simple reason - I did not want to talk with him. He kept calling me driving me nuts and therefor I disconnected myself from him...pushed me away. What I am saying here that this is a human response not necessarily according to a man or the sign of a person.

I truly am sorry for all the pain that is being experienced..been there done that. The wonderful thing is that there are so many wise and wonderful people here to help share their experiences so that we aquire more wisdom for the next round of lessons.

Be well and most of all, love yourself

Freebird

Hi Freebird,
I am loonybird, the cancerian. this is one of the names coined by Linda Goodman. The other being moom maiden. Since I have awareness of a delicious kind of madness in me, i call myself as the "Loonybird".

Hi Everyone,

I can understand what u guys are trying to tell me... i know what mistakes im committing but i think to refrain myself is beyond me... im not hurt beacuse he ended but because he is not giving me a reason for him to do so.... he could have been a man enough and told me that he wants to end this for ever why is he trying to keep the loop open.. and its he who dragged me in to this... i kept telling him right from begining may be this wont work.... but its he who kept this moving on and then one fine day he just ends it.... Thanks guys may be i will get over this but this is frustrating me...

Hey Sweet -P

Thanks, yea i am going through this extreme emotions at times i think he is free to take his decission, at times im angry and upset with him for doing this and at times i long for him to come back... hate this feeling ... we were just good freinds ... he could have continued with it. I knew things would not have worked but you dont end things that abruply. at one time you say, your longing to meet and next you just end.... I hate him at this moment....but deep down i really like him and he knows that and is using that against me.....Thanks guys once again

Hi Guys 🙂 Sheese..it is getting COLD here where I live and I am lovin' it!!!!! Snuggling is my cup of tea even if it is with my blankets or my cat or even if I have to pull the down comforter over my head and breathe hot air underneath to warm myself....beats having someone there that doesn't spark me up. "build it and they will come" I soon will have a whole tribe in my bed...a tribe of what you ask? that remains to be seen. 😉

Reka I am really sorry for what happened with your guy just ending it so abruptly...sometimes people do things without thinking of how the other person will feel or react and reason being...we don't always know how the other will respond and truthfully, we are looking out for our own emotional well-being. I say this to you because I did the same thing to a guy about 2 months ago. It was the only way for me to end it with him. I know each situation is different but for me, I did what I needed to for myself. I needed to move on, I needed it over, I needed no contact period. And you know what? at first it was hard but looking back, it was the best thing for me as I was able to move on knowing he was not going to re-enter my life. We tried that and it did not work...as I said, each case is different. In time we may reconnect and the feelings will be different but in a good way. So much is realised when you have the "no contact" rule along with growth. I am not sure that there is a right or wrong way to change a relationship...we do what we "think" we need to do in that moment...it may not be what the other person would choose to do but we are not them - we can only do what feels right to us.

I cannot tell you how to feel or act but to make it easier on you so that you can move forward with your life...you can send silent blessings of love to him and his life. After all, he is human and we all will make boo-boo's at some point.

Okay...I shall close for now...as Sweetpumkinpie says...keep smiling 🙂

Hi Everyone!
Thanx for sharing your experiences about difficult relationsips/situations. I really don't understand why these guys go away in search of another female adventure and then return back again and perhaps expect that they will be accepted lovingly. What I have understood is that there is this age old genetic coding where the male hunter has to have lots of notches on his belt to prove his virility. They maybe having a fantastic realtionship and yet if any other fem catches their fancy they drop you(sometimes not) and run after the new one!!! And then they return.
I once had on the trip encounter with a very sensuos person.We had a great time and I decided that we would get together whenever we happen to be in same town. Now this guy I noticed kept on giving a look over to every fem that passed by. I was put off. I returned back to my town and a year passed.
A year later he lands up in my town and demands a meeting with me. I took him for a cup of coffee and told him that intimacy won't be possible now as I am too tied up with children and plus seeing someone else. Next year again he came to meet me and desparately was asking for a date...i said NO. He went off. But I hope he doesn't return back while he is in town.
Now the reason I am sharing this is because to date my encounter with him has been the most passionate one I have ever had.But his paying attention to other females and giving them intimate glance, put me off. I was earlier so much looking forward to meeting him again. and when you had shared such good experince, it does become very difficult to turn away from that person, especially when you know that he can turn you on in a jiffy. So avoiding being alone with that person becomes the prime issue. Man i get so stressed out thinking of the possibility of him visiting me. Inspite of my rebuff i think he guesses that he can have an effect on me. But thank god we don't live in the same town, or else things would have gotten quite sticky with his persistence. Now this guy is a Taurean. Already i have this scorpion ex who keeps on leaving these messages on the messenger. Boy do I feel hounded?
And you know what whenever I meditate I pray that each of them find their greatest love somewhere else, so that they forget me completely!!!

Hi Loonybird,

I think its human psychology what ou get too easily is not that interesting... i have realised that by making a mistake. I have a leo and a saggi... who are head over heels in love with me .... but i am not attracted ..but my virgo guy is a challange to get... so i think im running after him. crazy huh🙂

Hey VirgoSquared,

You just rock! the views that your posting just makes me think and its hard to make Ariens think they just act.

I liked reading your comments while analysing my relation.... just wonder why you guys think so much... Just to inform you My Virgo guy called me last friday left a voice mail for me wishing me on a festival... also said that he will call me over the weekend. Had i been my normal Ariens i would hae just called him back .... would not have waited .... but this time im hurt by his behaviour... so i just waited for him to call back. Which he didnt .... Just wondering what must be going through his mind, should i call him up, or wait for him to com back ask what the problem is ( a quick brief ... he has been avoiding me offlate, last when we spoke he said we should stop communicating ...i called him a couple of times but he just ignored)

His this tendency to come close yet not reachable makes me curious. I have commited a mistake one am very scared to call him again.. i am a very emotional person and when i show my emotions i do it completely... and when im cold i can really distant myself away...i think him to be a good friend and dont like loosing friends.. but just dont understand what his action means...does he want to cutoff .. or does he want this relation...boy he confuses me

Anyway what do you think virgosquared... will he call me back again ... or me not calling him will distant him from me for ever ....

Reka

Hi Reka,

glad to be of some help. Kisses on this fragile ego are always appreciated.
Ommm, my advice, if that's what you want to call it, more like ramblings, is always based on me trying to get in the other person's head. Whether he'll call back or not; my arms are a little short for that one.

I don't know either of you, but I think there are a few bits of info that are significant, but they lead to only potentials. He said you two should stop communicating. If he brought it up, it's on his mind. On the good side, he did bring it up. He didn't just take coat and scarf without leaving a note. I wouldn't think he has commited one way or the other. It's back to heads and hearts, the head thinking it's time to "get gone" the heart, caring, digging it's fingernails in earth. I don't know, it's speculation, but it could explain the perceived push and pull. For me, the head wins at distance, the heart wins in the moment.

As for the call saying he was going to call during the weekend. Baby it's Monday. 🙂 The weekend was like yesterday. Of course this is coming from the detached fingers at the other end of your screen. When you're in it. . .I can see you getting pissed at the phone. "RING! RING! RING GOD DA**IT! Stupid phone!" Absence of a loved one, that sense of loneliness and/or rejection is a falling bomb. Infuriating. Still, there's no way to know what happened. He could be looking for a tell, trying to gauge your reaction (With your feeling involved, this would be calculating, and forgive me, but this guy would be an a**hole if he did this). He could be deciding, heads versus hearts again, or, something could've just came up. Life happens. It's hard to know what's going on. With this lack of information, I think I'd just wait. Let him call. Now, before you spit an explicative at me, trust me. I know how hard this is. With a moon in Aries, I dig you on this one. I so feel you on this. My patience isn't that great with a lot of things, this would be one of them. When I want to know something, I want to know it, now. If something has to be done, especially when it relates to me, it should be done, now. If there's a problem, it has to be fixed, now. If there's a needed response, I want it now. At the same time, I know that's not very practical. Life doesn't work that way, and sometimes for the best. Most things, especially when they're important, require forethought.

On a side note. This guy has such a dominant place in this relationship. I mean, reading your post, it feels like he's your oxygen. I can't be sure, but I'm going to go out on the sternest limb here and say he's not. It's like you've lost yourself in him. You love him. Love rocks. Humans are sociable, to give and receive love is like a basic need. At our core, I believe everyone wants to be understood by another, to be completely explored internally and known by another person, and as a wise stranger I recently met said, to be loved unconditionally for the person they find. To be accepted for who they are. So I dig your need for his love, but if every time you two meet, you're arguing. If it's not working . . .okay. This is all I mean. If he wants to go, your innate womanly powers, vast as they maybe, can't change his mind. You don't hold sway over what he wants for himself. You could pull a Scorpio and stalk him (laughing), but what's the point. If he calls and you two get back together, forever, GREAT. I actually hope this potential wins. If he calls, you two get back together, but break up a year later. Depending on what you want, it may not be great, but it is what it is. If he doesn't call ever again, then he just doesn't call ever again. Hurt is a bi**h. Time is pretty good at tying up loose ends, but time likes to take his own good time. Outside some extreme velocity or gravity, a minute is a minute, a week a week. The aggressive angle wasn't working, so in th

Hey VirgoSqaured,

When it comes to advice nobody can beat u... admire you virgo's for that🙂

Let me tell you something more about this relation... we actually knew each other for a year but it was more of acquaintance, even then he would just talk when he pleased and so on ... recently i came to US so we started talking to each other... he started persuading me to meet him as he was around.... I literally ignored him or sometime but one fine day i agreed to meet him thing were good... but i found him more interested in me physically... and i was not giving in.. This pissed me off and i had another very close friend ... when i was with this guy i wrote a mail to my friend saying im not enjoying my stay here and that i am really missing him i ended ( i usually end my mails with my friends by writing love followed by my name). Seeing me glued to the computer he tried to get to check my mail after i left his place.

He then created a whole drama and started telling me that he had a nightmare that i spoke with my boyfriend and said i was not enjoying my trip with him... I knew what he was saying and just asked him upfront also told him that i was pissed by his behaviour and thought of talking to a good friend ... i think he suspected i had an affair ... he was ok after i gave him that explantion... he was very good after that but i always thought that he was trying to be good so that he can hurt me at the right time which he did.

May be he was hurt and wanted to give back.... but believe me i never lied to him....i really liked him ... though his behaviour of physical intimacy used to irritate me... i learnt how to deal with him on that.

At first when i avoided him he used to tell me he never felt abt anybody as he feels about me... he got me into that mode.... then when i started displaying a lot of emotion he started telling he is scared of my emotions and the fact that he might hurt me ... he said we will be always good friend... I told him that i never looked for something more than that... i knew that we were two ppl poles apart... and then the whole saga of him talking at one instance ignoring me at other ... it jus kept happening ...i thought i would distance myself

So when i came to US this time I didnt tell him... he was pushing me trying to know where im... then he said if your here i would be pissed that u bein a friend didnt tell me that ur are here....he was like be there or be gone... and then suddendly he said that we have these fight so we should stop communicating... i tried to dig him tried to understand wht he was upset about .. but he was curt each time i spoke to him... he just started iving reasons that either he is busy or tied up at work... till lat i spoke havent spoken to him for a week now and may be will never take an initiative again

Thanks Virgohead really appreciate the effort that you take and make it feel so easy ...

Reka

Hello Reka.

Where are you from? If you don't mind me asking. You mentioned you visited the United States.

As for the post, "Virgohead" 🙂 doesn't mind as long as they help.

VirgoSquared

Hey,

I am sure you are a hardcore virgo.... was wondering if you would pick on that Virgo head thing and you did....i think i have started analysing too 🙂, Well i wanted you to write back to me about my Mr Wierdo (sorry Virgo)

Do you think he is deliberately trying to hurt me as he was hurt by my mail....

Renuka

Hey,

I am sure you are a hardcore virgo.... was wondering if you would pick on that Virgo head thing and you did....i think i have started analysing too 🙂, Well i wanted you to write back to me about my Mr Wierdo (sorry Virgo)

Do you think he is deliberately trying to hurt me as he was hurt by my mail....

Reka

Boy Sweet-P...you got it going on there girlie! Excellent advice....Stop, Look and Listen to your heart~ hear what it is saying..

Hey Sweet-p,

I used to think just like you, heard what my heart said and this got me in trouble 🙂 so have these days started diging my mind.

Virgosqaured - awaiting your reply on my post (same analytial one... boy wonder how you can be so accurate)

Reka

Hi Reka.

You give me waaaaay too much credit. I think that might be what Sweet-P was implying, and she is so right. My fingers are midgets on this one. For me this is more of an intuitive thing, not analytical. I don't know him. The catch here, is you do. I think you're asking if he's trying to hurt you on purpose. Start your analysis by asking yourself a few questions. Do you believe he's the type that will do something like that? Tit for tat, I kick your dog, you kick my cat. Is he that guy? If he is, that's kind of foul. Actually, not kind of, that is foul. Have you seen him do something that would imply he is? If not, you may want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Now, you may get pissed at this part, but, don't. There's no implication here, I'm just trying to provoke thought. In the same situation, I'd turn the same microscope on myself. I've found that the eye glasses we wear in watching trees and clouds are usually tinted with ourselves. What I mean by this is we assume the world is the way we are. We inject ourselves into our judgment of others. Is it possible you think he's trying to hurt you because with switched shoes, you'd consider hurting him to get back at him? Hate is the clinging monkey on love's back. Trust and love Siamese twins. When trust is broken, it's like a betrayal. It's human, not necessarily right, but it's human to want to get even.

If the way you're seeing your situation is correct, he cares for you. He may be pissed, but he still cares. That being said, realize we react to anger, maybe a streak of jealousy in this case, in different ways. He could be pulling away for his own sanity, venting privately, collecting his thoughts, it doesn't necessarily mean he's trying to hurt you intentionally. When "Knowing" has abandoned us, "Thinking the worse" is right there in his place, acting like a complete a**hole. I hate that guy (Thinking the worse). At the time, he makes so much sense, but then Time comes around and taps us on the shoulder and says, "See, look at it now. It wasn't that way at all." Rarely are things as bad as we think they are, or are going to be. If you truly believe he's a genuinely good guy, you may have hang you scarf and coat on that and bend doubt in his direction. If you don't see him as a genuinely good guy, then you have to ask yourself why are you with him any way. If you believe he's doing this to hurt you, do you really want to be with someone that'll do that?

Also, you have to consider he maybe trying to pull away. That's why I said in the last post if I was you I wouldn't call. You got to respect his decision. You don't have to like it, but what he wants for himself is his right to have. It feels like you've immersed yourself in him. Pulling apart two things that are merged is difficult. When those two things are feelings, hurt is innate to the separation. It's a missing of another, a fierce loneliness. Love entails risk. For two people to love each other is for each to dump all of themselves in a box and say, "Here. This is me." When it's love, the other person says, "I accept that." When that risk materializes, it like the other person looks into that same box of "you" and say, "I no longer accept this." Rejection sucks so bad. I doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong with you, it could just mean that the contents of those two boxes that so complimented each other when things sparked have gained more stuff in them. Stuff that don't necessarily vibe well. Essentially growth.

I write all this to get you to think about where things fall now, and where they may be going. The analysis falls on you here. You know him. What do you feel? What kind of person is he? Take you glasses off with this one. Don't color him one way or the other, look at his actions. How does he normally relate to people? To you? Use his tongue as a character reference. What has he said t

Hi Everyone,

That was very well said VirgoSquared! A great analysis of many of the likely scenarios. And tempered with a strong dose of 'how does it FEEL'!

Reka - my situation is similar is so many ways. One of the things I've had to admit to myself is that mostly my pride is injured. That's where the rejection part comes in - it hurts the pride. Even if we know the relationship may not be the best for us at this point, it doesn't make the sting any less sharp.

I did read something a while ago that is very similar to what VirgoSquared is saying. I thought it was profound, so I saved it but unfortunately did not save the author - I would love to be able to give credit where it is due:

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More often than not, relationships seem to be more about the other person than about you. I'll use an extreme example to explain what I mean: Leos, at least initially, are much more likely to love how you make them feel about themselves than anything in particular about you. People are excited about what you evoke in them, what parts of themselves achieve expression around you, and basically who they are when they're with you. So don't get all down on yourself if you get rejected. They're really just rejecting the self that came out to meet you.
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Remember - this may not be about you - it may be all about him!! It was not kind to leave you without an explanation, but perhaps he is not ready to commit to an answer yet. The Virgo I know doesn't like to go back on things he says.

ScorpGal