Venus in Virgo

I've recently rekindled a "relationship" with a Sun & Moon in Cancer man and I've got this part of him down but I have issues dealing with his Venus in Virgo (1 degree so I'm guessing on the Leo-Virgo cusp if that applies to other planets than the sun?) and maybe his stellium in the 6th house (sun, moon, mercury, mars) although I have the same stellium.

Anyway, Venus in Virgo in a man, discuss. I feel like it's the reason I never feel good enough for him because of the constant criticism and pointing out of my flaws. He's a workaholic and I admire that in him but would taking a 30min break from work after months of not seeing each other kill him? lol

How do I know I'm not annoying him and that he actually appreciates me?

I've got Venus in Cap and I show appreciation by pushing them towards reaching their goals and little acts of practical kindness and a lot of sex but it seems his idea of appreciating me is criticising at all times, even in the middle of making out it's crazy, haha.

Is it success in terms of career or personal life?
I don't mind the advice on how I do professionally, I've got big Scorpio/Capricorn ambitions too but it's the little nitpicking about how clumsy I am and other personality traits like me speaking really fast and needing to be on the move (my Sag Sun/Gemini rising vs his Cancer homebody I guess) that throws me off. He's shy on compliments but can easily dish out on my flaws, lol.
I appreciate the honesty but for someone who considers me important in his life (his words!) it's hard to take on an ego level! But I'm not completely resistant to change, it's just that it's an odd sense of showing love.

I used to have issues with my speech being too quick with a certain lack of proper enunciation (Chiron in 3rd house, Gemini rising and growing in a bilingual household whilst learning two other languages on the side, my language skills are a mess) but he consistently picked on me about it so I've been working on it since we've met so it's not like I don't listen to his advice but can they ever live with other people's flaws without trying to fix them?

I have Venus in Virgo it took me along to realize I was even criticizing my ex bfs. That's how I showed I cared I had a hard time expressing how much I love and care so I would do practical things like help them and criticize them when I saw them slacking on goals. I have a Scorpio sun with a few Virgo and cap placements and I work very hard too I'm working in the middle of summer taking trips and all lol. It could be he isn't aware of it so you need to speak up communication is best for any relationship.

Don't live by his criticisms .... meaning, if he doesn't like the way you do something, shrug your shoulders and do it anyway. don't say anything to him, don't argue, don't get upset ..... just live by your own values and standards.

You can bank on that he is going to notice that you aren't abiding by him. Just like you said that you are trying to work on it, simply because you think you are suppose to change for him. That's bullshit.

Over time, of you living your life by your standards, and completely disregarding his criticisms ... he is going to begin to change. A Virgo has to serve your needs, otherwise there is no point in his existence.

He will continue to criticize you so long as you continue to react to him, or try to change yourself.

Trust me ... I've been married to a Virgo for 33 years. The way to straighten his ass out is to be the leader. Stand tall and do yourself. When he realizes that you are living by your own standards, he will become humbled and back off from being overbearing.

If you continue in letting him criticize you, then it will only get worse because he realizes that you must NEED him to do that to you, since you are trying to abide by his decisions.

If you let a Virgo push you around ... he will.

The way to tame a Virgo is to rule the Virgo. You're the boss .... so start acting like it.

haha you guys I don't abide to each and every one of his criticism, if I think he's got a point (which he did regarding my speech problem) I try to work on it but sometimes it's just silly things that he picks up on like my clumsiness or my friends being too much on the fun side of things but I've always made it a point that some things are up to me to decide. I'm very independent, far from clingy and maybe too detached as he seemed to have been a little hurt that I moved cities without consulting anybody but we weren't in a relationship then.

But also @tiziani, the relationship isn't that new, we've known each other for 6 years and found we were mutually attracted to each other a year ago but things happened and we talked again a couple months ago.
I'd always thought the commitment part and spending time was a Cancer thing, he did that with a lot of his friends including female friends so I never thought this would've been an indication of affection. Then again I'm very oblivious whenever someone is interested in me (something he's pointed out too, funnily enough).

It's weird, I'm just realising now after reading about Venus in Virgo that he did always offer his help whenever he felt I needed it even when I didn't think I did. He was always insistent on me getting better all the time and I always felt they were little jabs more than hidden encouragement. I've always prided myself on being my own person and never needing anybody so I get defensive when someone tells me I need to do more.


And we're working on the communication issues, we're both earth venuses, air risings but water moons, the emotions are there but getting them out are a whole other story.