very odd 3rd date....advice please!!! (Page 2)

Qwertty, whatever your reasons are for taking out the trash, good for you! As Xin once said "call in the stand-ins... NEXT!"

Lib, i see. Mine is in Capricorn and i seem to not understand water mercuries that well, ask Dazed, lol. Scorp is not so bad as pisces mercury thou, pisces mercury makes me wanna drown myself Sicilian style ... wearing concrete boots.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"Personally, when I have been invited to a mans house and have chosen to go I have either asked are we eating or eat before I get there, depending on the hour."



^^^There you go...see that? It's called COMMUNICATION. He did offer food, and she chose not to communicate other than simply decline. Doesn't make him the bad guy. It wasn't a dinner date, I know Virgos, if it were, not only would there be a plate waiting for her, he'd make sure she had a napkin at her side. 😉

No you're right LIB, it doesn't make him the bad guy or a bad guy, but it does make him rude, it is a rude thing to do. Communication is also a two way street, maybe his was delayed i.e. waiting to offer her food until he was actually scoffing it down 🙂, that is simply rude to me. Declining to eat off anothers plate after they offered as an afterthought is not non-communication, however she possibly should have communicated her feelings on this at the time either in words or actions. And also, as some have said, maybe to him this is now a friendship rather than dating, well in that case he also needs to communicate this, wouldn't he?

Posted by MellyMel

Posted by celticlioness
Its irrelevant whether its a friendship or relationship, its irrelevant whether he asked her over for a bite to eat and dvd or just a dvd, basic manners - when someone arrives at your house and you are preparing food you invite them to eat. I do not know one single person who would not offer food in these circumstances, in fact where I'm from you check if someone has eaten and offer food the minute they come into your home, which can be a bit of a pain as some people keep pushing it on you after you've declined. It's also completely irrelevant what her previous dating history is. I suppose what you're prepared to put up with is what you get - OP doesn't seem to be prepared to be treated in a rude manner. I can only think that those who think that this behaviour is fine conduct themselves in the same manner.

Personally, when I have been invited to a mans house and have chosen to go I have either asked are we eating or eat before I get there, depending on the hour.

I agree. Manners are manners, regardless of the relationship level. That being said, her story just does not add up for me. She said in the chronology of events that he offered her and got her something to drink, and that he also took her coat. If he is enough of a gentlemen to do those things, surely it's safe to assume he is enough of a gentlemen to offer her something to eat as well.

click to expand

Perhaps, who knows Mellymel, apart from what is told and what is told is what is reality to the OP regardless of the chronology, and if it doesn't sit well with her then she just moves on to the next one.... it's only been 3 dates so no loss for either of them.

Qwertty, when I was new here, I got attacked too. (I don't know if you're new or not, but I didn't recognize you). After a while, you learn how to word things better so there are less loopholes to pick apart. Still, doesn't mean I won't still get attacked. lol

Look at it this way, they really are offering another view of the picture. The attackers are trying to help (well, some are trolls, ignore them), but a lot of people who we feel attack us really are just trying to let us see how we came across to the other person.

Sometimes we are so caught up in our own feelings and thoughts that it's hard to see a scenario, etc. from another angle/viewpoint than our own. Also, when we are upset in a situation, it's really, really difficult to see where/if/maybe we did something wrong. Even harder to admit it. They point out something that could have been misinterpretted (we knew what we meant, but did the other person?). You know, ways we could have handled it better/different.

Anyways, I'm not saying either way who's right and who's wrong. I just thought I'd offer this to you.

For the record, I would have felt the same way you did.

qwertty -- It is very obvious that this guy is a loser. Don't worry about the rest. You are on the right track.

I also understand Let*It*Be's opinion, too. She had some good points.

Posted by qwertty
Still no reply, looks like hes backed off. He would message me all the time before and today nothing at all. Hes gone distant and I will leave him to it!

rememeber that! Let him chase you, not the other way around🙂

Posted by LunarMaiden
Aqua and Virgo seem like an odd coupling to me.
Both cool and low key, seems it would make a passionless relationship based on friendship.

Virgo men usually come on strong in public, I wouldn't dare be alone with them in private unless I am ready for a romp.

Maybe the 4th date won't be so odd. We all have our odd days. 🙂

Agree. I am cap/aqua cusp and even my relationship with virgo fiance is based on a long time friendship. we do lack passion.