Virgo/Aries Disaster (Page 2)

Obone,

my apologies...that comment was from capgirl...I jumped the gun on you...please forgive me.

So "capgirlwithvirgo" that comment was for you. I did not miss the point, you are not seeing the whole picture.

My comments will be of this nature...I don't give "direct" advices, I share my experiences or facts or arguments supporting them that are unbiased to the best of my ability. You should then pick from it what you will...but if you can't follow what I'm saying...I'm almost certain I lost you somewhere and the problem does not lie with me as I am often very indirect...guiding you rather telling.

...sorry.."guiding rather than telling".

So "capgirlwithvirgo" that comment was for you. I did not miss the point, you are not seeing the whole picture.


----
Correct I was about to say, it was from me. You caught it before I did.

I found the God/Religion stuff interesting and informative, but not on the same thread. As I am sure the same thing if posted on a relevant thread, would have served more purpose. For me, I generally explore threads from their titles. That's all..

I got you, and see...I totally misunderstood you too. What happened was the little virgo/aries thread just got a tad out of hand...but, and I followed up on a comment that you're right...belongs in a new thread as it's actually interesting as a topic on it's own.

lol...my apologies too for misunderstanding. Communicating clearly is soooo important, and I think on this site as well I try explain as clearly as possible my point lest it is not understand.

Enough...don't you think? For one night...lol. Peace.

caprigirlwithvirgo

"I found the God/Religion stuff interesting and informative, but not on the same thread"

well this was a topic touched on in this thread so it does make sense virgo79 posted it here......it's not like it came from nowhere

my apologies too for misunderstanding.
---

Hey, absolutely no apologies needed.. I don't think its' that big of a deal :-)..
Take it easy...

Good night.

I take nothing for granted...goodnight.

I'm going to pretend that I didn't just read three pages of God-lovin', Bible-preachin' bullshit. I didn't put up this topic for you critisize how I live my life and tell me I'm going to hell for the gender of the person I love. Go take your rants to your Southern Baptist Convention and stay the fuck out of my face. Understood? Hope so.

The relationship is still going. I hurt her quite a bit, but she did her own amount of damage, too. I found out later that a majority of her birth chart is dominated by various fire signs (mostly Leo) and Aquarius. It makes for an interesting mix. I still love her, and I'm sure her love's still going strong. We're devoted, and it doesn't and won't ever resemble something of a fling. It's way more than that.

So, perhaps it's destructive, and perhaps in another year I'll be without her, but for the time being, I'm content with the idea that opposites attract. Call it foolish if you will; I could be blinded by love. I'm sure I am. *sigh* So it is...

Reiniba-Chan,
reading this I can see that you seem honestly to believe what you are saying, and that's up to you - but it might be better instead of using this thread to bash the OP's sexuality, and that of everyone else who is not able to see things so black-and-white as your lucky self, or who struggles with their feelings in that way - to actually add something USEFUL to the topic, and try to help answer her question, and not use it for venting your own discomfort at the mention of same-sex relationships.
Otherwise you might have the grace to leave the thread - nobody is demanding you read people's posts or answer them if you are angered by them.
And there's no need to be so rude.
Does that sound fair?

FA16 .. I realize without you even saying, that Virgo's don't like to be critisized. In fact, nobody does because we all have feelings, and every person (most) on this board understands that this is a thorn in the Virgo's side .. however, I believe that perhaps before one can take a position that somebody is putting you down .. the prudent thing to do would be to make sure that what someone said is ACTUALLY a critism.

I read this from the beginning and you started off by saying you've tolerated being critisized by your Aries girl and sometimes it gets to the point where you are struggling to deal with it because she puts you down .. this would be difficult, to be critisized, for anybody to endure on a constant basis .. however .. I would more inclined to believe that she isn't actually critisizing as much as you believe that she is .. why would I say this, when I don't even know you?

Message posted by: fallenangel16 on 3/22/2007 10:25:28 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.17
I'm going to pretend that I didn't just read three pages of God-lovin', Bible-preachin' bullshit. I didn't put up this topic for you critisize how I live my life and tell me I'm going to hell for the gender of the person I love. Go take your rants to your Southern Baptist Convention and stay the fuck out of my face. Understood? Hope so.

These pages that you call "bullshit" weren't critisizing YOU, rather, RC.

On The Contrary .. all responsers other than RC .. were actually DEFENDING you against her.

The only person "in your face" was RC, yet, you felt compelled to take everybody's support of your position as negatively in your face.

Only one person actually said that your actions will land you in hell, everybody else was actually DEFENDING you.

So, my point is .. it appears to me, that you aren't grasping the difference between what is a critisism and what is support .. so, I would tend to lean in the direction of it being highly likely that you give your girl a harder time about this whole critism issue than she gives you, for IF she supports you, you think she is doing the opposite.

Perhaps, you were talking to RC .. if so, you didn't mention her name .. instead, led your response in a direction to insinuate that your irritation comes from all the talk on the subject .. this is mis-leading .. would cause one to refute your position, such as I've done now.

To Topic:

It appears to me from your verbal expression, that there is a constant chip on your shoulder regarding your woman .. I know exactly where you're coming from because I find myself there often, as well. It's easier to vent out frustration than actually go to the cause to attempt to fix the problem. You have to keep in mind, if you post openly to the public your problems, you ARE going to get answers you don't want to hear. If your aim is to analyze this problem with your girl with the general public, instead of dealing with it with the only person who's business this REALLY belongs to (her) .. then if you come back and critisize the people who would have an opinion .. which YOU asked for, btw .. then this makes YOU out to be the one who is really the critisizer, in reality .. get my point?

"We were together for fourteen months, and shared a lot of dreams and ambitions together. We wanted to have a family together, but something terrible went wrong.
She critisized me. It wasn't the first time she had ever done it, and I just got so fed up with dealing with her."


Of course, I realize that the two of you are still together because I read your update, however, I just wanted to express something on the above ..

Say for example you were 16 years old, and your mum allowed you to stay out until midnight every Friday and Saturdy nights .. suddenly, one day, she got fed up with you staying out late like that and flipped on you? Who's in the wrong? Your mum for freaking about something that she had actually allowed all this time, but really didn't like, or, you, for staying out too late for a girl of 16?

My point is .. you said that everything was great for 14 months, then something went wrong, she critisized you .. yet, you then say that this is something she has actually done before, but, THIS time, you got fed up. People in relationships will normally adhere to whatever limits or conditions that are defined within the union, based off of what is permittable and acceptable by thier partner (just as the 16 year old and mother will in the situational example above) .. if it's acceptable by the partner, then this is where we will set our limits.

What I'm trying to get at is that by you sitting back and letting her critisize you in the past without letting her know that this isn't acceptable to you .. it actually laid the foundation with her that it is indeed acceptable by you, for everything was wonderful for 14 months, while she did this. Suddenly, the fact that you got fed up with something that she believed is permittable .. is YOUR error, not hers.

In essence .. the two of you didn't break up last month due to her critisizing you, for she did nothing wrong in her eyes for doing this .. rather, you broke up last month because of your uncommunicative irritation. She really did nothing wrong, as you set up the parameters within the union that by her doing this to you is acceptable. You just got fed up with dealing with her .. she was behaving according to her percieved standards of the conditions of the partnership.

Do you see what I'm saying here?

If you respond to me .. remember, you said, "Any feedback is greatly appreciated", and, "like I said, I need a little bit of advice"

I see that.

It's in no means perfect. I get ahead of myself at times and claim it's been pure happiness, but in reality, it hasn't been. We suffer from communication problems, obviously. I hardly ever say what's really on my mind, because (I think) things are usually a little too complicated to explain and to be understood fully. I'm not naturally affectionate or even emotional (on the surface) - I lack a lot of the basic needs for a fully functional relationship. I find myself often rolling my eyes and tiring of her antics. Her charms hardly work on me; I'm not impressed anymore, but at the same time, she scares me with some of the things she says and does.

To be honest, you're not the only one to point this out. A handful of my friends tell me these things are my fault for allowing the problems to slowly seep into our lives - because I put up with them and allow them to happen, and then push them off as my fault, my mistake, and nothing to fret over. The burden of taking it all down as my fault has gotten heavier over the months, and it's harder and harder to do what I did before. I'm tired of always going back. It'd be nice if she showed up on my doorstep once in a while and just took it all as her fault for once, and not mine. But her pride gets in the way, as always, so I'm just expected to swallow down my own pride and do it myself. As with many things, it appears perfect and settled on the outside, but on the inside, it's not so pretty.

The previous post wasn't so much pointed towards you. I do appreciate anybody that has put up their own reply in regards to the "hate" reply. Means a lot.

No prob .. I live with a Virgo, so I'm used to this sort of thing with the communication part.

You know, which I'm sure you do since you have been with an Aries for so long .. they don't know how to live behind the current moment. That's not to say, they aren't reflective .. but, this only happens when something has gone awry. And even then, they don't fret about the issue, rather, shrug it off and keep trekking forward. I'm sure you know all this. However, keep in mind that the Ram, does, indeed know when they've erred and even if they aren't verbally accepting responsibility, they ARE doing so with future actions. Nothing is a failure to them, rather, a tool for future events. They tend to turn things around to the positive .. unfortunately, this positiveness is only for themselves.

So, when your girl does something, because of her nature, she isn't going to approach the topic .. it's difficult, I know because in your nature .. you're just a complete worry-wort 🙂 So, it's beyond you how someone could function in life and not stop to ponder all the time. So, when she screws up and blows it off as though she meant to do something, when in reality, you know she dicked something up but just won't admit it, to you it means she isn't accepting responsibility .. whereas in her mind, it was noted as a lesson learned, without verbalizing it. Enough to drive any person mad .. add Virgo into the scenerio, who considers every detail down to the miniscule .. very frustrating, I'm sure.

Life's crazy, isn't it? Wouldn't it be nice if we only had to deal with ourselves?
I sure hope you are able to work this out and find a middle ground where you both are happy because it sounds like you care for her very much.

Keep working on it .. however, don't stop being yourself. Good luck 🙂

P angel is dead on 1000% correct.

yes, aries KNOWS when they screwed up...but do we like to admit it? hell no!

i go through this with my virgo like almost every day. if i didn't love him so freakin much and keep a sense of humor about everything , i think we would have split a long time ago. it's a strange union. one that isn't supposed to theoretically work. we are just too damn different in so many ways. virgo says something to aries...aries acts as if they didn't hear it (when in fact they did)...virgo sees this and gets frustrated so virgo reiterates the point once more..now aries feels as if virgo is being a nag and so blocks virgo out...virgo senses this and feels ignored and becomes critical, or tries to make aries feel guilty, or maybe even becomes slightly verbally abusive...aries feels the attack and lashes back (because that's what we do)...virgo feels the sting and either 1)feels hurt and withdraws or 2)gets even angier and feels as if nothing he just said was heard and with that verbally lashes out some more, but this time its worse (oh yes, MUCH worse)...now aries is in full out warrior mode and is beginning to feel the fury (uh oh).......

you see how it goes? this has been my experience anyway. we have been together for 3 years.

the hardest thing about this union is trying your damned hardest to see life through your partners eyes...and lemme tell you it aint easy, cuz we are like freakin apples and oranges.

but if you really love someone, i believe any difference can be worked out...that and you need a HUMUNGOUS sense of humore

good luck to you

There's no quick fix way to mend a broken heart. But just imigine the pure HELL it would have been if you let this thing continue. You saved yourself and heart much more pain. I was with an Aries --- a very long time ago --- and just recently he tried to come BACK. Yea, sure! He got a taste of this Virgo woman's UGLY side. He'll NEVER AGAIN think he has it like that.