Virgo man and Sag woman in a dilemma

Well im in a situation at the moment that im not liking and need your advice.

I have have known my virgo male for the past 3 years and been and in a relationship with him for just on a year and living with him for the last 6 months.

We get along really well and have heaps of things in common.

He was married but has been separated for the last 4 years so here is the dilemma when we got together he told me that he had a girlfriend that he was with for 6 months before he went back to his ex wife to have another go at thier marriage he left her again and went back to his ex girlfriend but yet again he went back to his ex wife before finally deciding it wasnt going to work and he once told me that he regrets leaving his ex girlfriend and should of stayed with her.

Now his ex girlfriend found him on facebook and he gave her his number and she rang him. He told me that it was his old friend Tracey and they are going to catch up soon, he told me where she worked and all was good until i caught him out in a lie it was actually his ex girlfriend. I told him never to lie to me as liars get caught then he just let out a whole heap of hateful and hurtful words said i was green eyed and jealous. I said if you have things to discuss and get off your chestand it makes you feel better i dont mind if you go and see her, i said on 1 condition that you tell her you have a girlfriend. He come home and i ask him he said the time isnt right yet, so eventually he told me that he did tell her and I believe him.

Now she wont take no for an answer she texts him all the time and when her phone plan has run out she asks him to go on msn so i walked in the room and i handed him something and i caught the last sentence he wrote WE WILL SEE WHERE IT TAKES US. I got really annoyed he said there is nothing going on im not having this conversation again we are just friends. But what does that last sentence on msn mean?

Apparently she is having a hard time at the moment and he is being a friend but me being the blunt sag i said thats what councellors are for and she wants him around there every Wednesday for the last 4 weeks, he always asks if it is alright with me if he goes around there.

So is she doing all this to annoy me ie: texts, msn, phone calls him coming home smelling of her cheap or does she hope his feelings for her will change or does he still have feelings for her. Im confused? as virgos are very secretive people

Virgos are not really so secretive... we just don't always tell the whole story.

My Girlfriend is a Sag and we have been together for over a year now.

What is the sign of this ex-girlfriend?
It does sound to me that she is doing this to piss you off and frustrate you where he is concerned.

He is the naive Virgo who thinks they can be friends and wants to maintain the friendship. Probably too hard headed to cut her off without his own personal validations...

You must realise that you as a woman and particularly a Sagittarius can see through people and the picture as a whole while the Virgo man, only focuses on the minor details. This is a fundamental problem when it comes to viewpoints.

I think it is possible he is true to you and just "waiting on a reason" to actually make any substantial action to ignore the ex.

Maybe your right.

The ex girlfriend is an aries.

I cant ever go and bring this up in a conversation he completely shuts off and ignores it. But he told me this morning nothing will happen only if he wants it to happen and its not going to happen, i said you need to tell her that not me and i hung up the phone and havent heard from him since.

He is no good at face to face confrontation he is better talking about things like this on the phone.

Example lastnight we were having dinner she will text him right on 6.30pm and will not stop texting until he answers the text which just makes me mad and he knows that she is getting under my skin.

I have every opportunity to tell her off his msn account is on all the time but im better than that im not going to contact her. You know how hot headed we sag women we can be

He even told me last week that she said i was too old for him im 38 and he is 32 and i said what did you say and he said age doesnt come into it if you love someone.

I do trust him and we never ever agrue we get on so well we dont have anything to fight about until she arrived on the scene we argue all the time especially around dinner we dont talk, we even argued today so knowing a virgo he wont speak to me until he has calmed down.

Posted by env012
Maybe your right.

The ex girlfriend is an aries.

Trouble... not as bad as a Scorpio but trouble.
She takes pride in pissing you off, don't let her.

I cant ever go and bring this up in a conversation he completely shuts off and ignores it. But he told me this morning nothing will happen only if he wants it to happen and its not going to happen, i said you need to tell her that not me and i hung up the phone and havent heard from him since.

Like I said, he has his own personal validations to fulfill where she is concerned.
He still has feelings for her and is having trouble getting rid of them. Possibly looking for closure.

Example lastnight we were having dinner she will text him right on 6.30pm and will not stop texting until he answers the text which just makes me mad and he knows that she is getting under my skin.

Wow, do you suspect she is a gold digger or something?
This is strange behaviour, she must want something.

I have every opportunity to tell her off his msn account is on all the time but im better than that im not going to contact her. You know how hot headed we sag women we can be

Very good and respectable.

He even told me last week that she said i was too old for him im 38 and he is 32 and i said what did you say and he said age doesnt come into it if you love someone.

Sounds more like Scorpio behaviour to me...

I do trust him and we never ever agrue we get on so well we dont have anything to fight about until she arrived on the scene we argue all the time especially around dinner we dont talk, we even argued today so knowing a virgo he wont speak to me until he has calmed down.

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I'm amazed you put up with this and argue as much as you do. It must annoy you to high hell.

The key here is to stay calm and help him evaluate the relationship.

Ask him why he has to speak to her,
What she means to him,
and why he continues to entertain her

I'm amazed you put up with this and argue as much as you do. It must annoy you to high hell.

The key here is to stay calm and help him evaluate the relationship.

Ask him why he has to speak to her,
What she means to him,
and why he continues to entertain her

I have asked him virtually the same questions that you have asked.

He speaks to her because she needs someone to talk to she recently split up with her fiancee and has a 2 year old little boy.

But in my mind she is using this to play the damzel in distress and he cant see it.

I asked him if he has some sort of feelings still for her and he said no she needs a friend.

But in my mind she is hoping if he stays friends with him long enough she is hoping his feelings will change.

And he continues to entertain her because she needs support

But in my mind someone has to text someone first to start the conversation going and he said she texts him in the morning to say good morning and sometimes he says good morning but not all the time.

We would have nothing to argue about if she wasnt around.

And i would never contact her im better than that but my satisfaction in all this is i wake up to him everyday and she doesnt.

Posted by env012

He speaks to her because she needs someone to talk to she recently split up with her fiancee and has a 2 year old little boy.

Well he's right... she does need someone to speak to. The fact is, it does not have to be him.
She is a wounded person and he being a Virgo in trying to see to her wounds.

Do you know what he hopes to accomplish?
And if he accomplishes it, then what?

But in my mind she is using this to play the damzel in distress and he cant see it.

Yup, he doesn't want to see it like that, so odds are he will not.

But in my mind she is hoping if he stays friends with him long enough she is hoping his feelings will change.

Quite possibly. Though I still find it odd for an Aries. They tend to be very independent.

We would have nothing to argue about if she wasnt around.

And i would never contact her im better than that but my satisfaction in all this is i wake up to him everyday and she doesnt.

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That's good but not good enough.

If it is causing you two to feud, then rectification is in order.

What exactly is your problem here?
What must he do to resolve it?

My problem here is her.

I can see straight through her and see what she is doing and be is either so besotted with her or is just blinded by it all that he either chooses not to see it or he is just plain stupid which he isnt.

If you tell a person that you have a girlfriend and he has said it to her 3 times in fact i was in the car with him while she rang him and she still cant get it than she is just plan dumb.

I think im being very linenant here because really would a girlfriend let there boyfriend have contact with his ex girlfriend most probably not but i trust and respect him.

He said she needs a friend because her family and friends want nothing to do with what has happened he never told me what happenend and respects her wishes not to tell anyone.

I spoke to him this afternoon and i told him that she continues to put a wedge between us then there is no reason for us to stay together because im not living a life of constant arguing so he said he will keep his distance from her and wont go and see her tonight.

Posted by env012

I can see straight through her and see what she is doing and be is either so besotted with her or is just blinded by it all that he either chooses not to see it or he is just plain stupid which he isnt.

It may seem odd to you, given how easily it comes for you to see through people. But believe me, he can not see what you do. So please give him the benefit of the doubt.

My Sag pointed out many things to me about my friends I had no clue about.
She claims people act differently around me, that they don't want to disappoint me.

The way they talk to her when I am not around is indicative of this. Another Virgo who was my best friend, would tell her about his sexual escapades when I honestly had no idea.

Seeing things and people for what they are is your gift, not his.

If you tell a person that you have a girlfriend and he has said it to her 3 times in fact i was in the car with him while she rang him and she still cant get it than she is just plan dumb.

Like I said, she wants something.

I think im being very linenant here because really would a girlfriend let there boyfriend have contact with his ex girlfriend most probably not but i trust and respect him.

Funny thing with me and my Sag. She says she doesn't have a problem with what I do, but boy does she get worked up when I used to talk about my exes.

Her exes call her every month, I cut mine off.

He said she needs a friend because her family and friends want nothing to do with what has happened he never told me what happenend and respects her wishes not to tell anyone.

Virgo honour.

I spoke to him this afternoon and i told him that she continues to put a wedge between us then there is no reason for us to stay together because im not living a life of constant arguing so he said he will keep his distance from her and wont go and see her tonight.

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For tonight? Only?
How disappointing...

So really to him she is like a little pet project to him she needs help and he has the ears for listening.

Yes for tonight only lol..... I will keep you posted on that one.

So least you have an insight to how a virgo and sagittarius relationship is like. We get along so well finish each others sentences, text each other at the same time, pick the same things up in the supermarket hey we even went out and bought the same cars i drove it home and in the driveway he had the same in blue.

We needed new phones and come home and showed each other what we purchased and they were the same. I believe we have a connection although they say that a virgo and sagittarius are incompatable i dont believe it my mum is a virgo and my dad is a sag, him mum is a virgo and his dad is a sag, my best friend is a virgo and she married a sag. And out of all the people that i have meet its the virgos that i have a connection with.

So its only this girl that is getting in the way and he is only encourging her.... well to me anyway.

Posted by env012
So really to him she is like a little pet project to him she needs help and he has the ears for listening.

Yes. Even if he still has feelings for her, they are of no threat or cause for concern.

So least you have an insight to how a virgo and sagittarius relationship is like. We get along so well finish each others sentences, text each other at the same time, pick the same things up in the supermarket hey we even went out and bought the same cars i drove it home and in the driveway he had the same in blue.

I have that with mine too. It is a very strong connection. I don't understand it.

The first time we sat down and discussed each other, everything was
Me : "I'm so so so" Her : " Me too!"
Her : " I like so so so " Me : " Me too! "

We needed new phones and come home and showed each other what we purchased and they were the same. I believe we have a connection although they say that a virgo and sagittarius are incompatable i dont believe it my mum is a virgo and my dad is a sag, him mum is a virgo and his dad is a sag, my best friend is a virgo and she married a sag. And out of all the people that i have meet its the virgos that i have a connection with.

The key to the relationship is to NOT piss each other off.
Virgos like consistency, that's hard when the Sag woman is oft undecided.

The tendency for my girl to tell me something, then change her mind. It's no fun.

So its only this girl that is getting in the way and he is only encourging her.... well to me anyway.

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It won't last...

No1delete2

He shuffled back and forth because there is a daughter involved and was undecided what to do stay with his ex wife or move on. So eventually he made the break from both of them, I was going out with him 2 years ago but made the break because I said he needed time to sort himself out and and needed time on his own, then we got back together about 6 months later.

Im the one at fault here because im the one that enabled it to all happen because i said go and see her and put your mind at ease, but I told him lastnight ex's are ex's for a reason you leave them in your past and move on so i said me or her you choose and he just sits there in silence and wont give me an answer, but to me sitting in silence says thousands of words.

Yes she is younger than me 24 in fact and he is 32 so soon as i mention him that i dont want him going to see her he erupts all these hateful words, says that im jealous because of her age blah blah blah and all other vulgarity i wont mention.

Posted by hikoro

Curious, do you have any placements in Scorpio?

If she has Venus in Scorpio, this would all make sense.

Posted by hikoro
Env...

I completely agree with Dy here.

Dy, Shaks, Cajun (judging from their posts) are very loyal and faithful to their partners.

The virgo behavior that this virgo is displaying is not typical, irregardlesss of his chart placements.

Cajun has leo planets in his chart and Dy also has libra placements. Stereotypically speaking, leo and libras are flirts with the opposite sex but even then both Cajun and Dy have deep respect toward their women.

I think that he has not completely sorted out his feelings. The 'he is trying to help' is an excuse. And if he is allowing that woman to interfere like this, then he is also to blame.

I understand that you may have allowed him to contact the ex, however, this does not justify that he has not wanted to put an end to this despite the fact it is "bothersome to him" and to you.

I hope everything goes well with you, with or without him.

Curious, do you have any placements in Scorpio?

dont forget aspect is wats make tha chart good or bad the sun mercury moon mars and venus can be in any sign and if they have good aspects towards tha planets den dats good if bad den it will explain the behavior.

Posted by hikoro

Posted by Cajunspirit

If she has Venus in Scorpio, this would all make sense.

Not necessarily.

People with fixed venuses are more likely to stick around in a relationship, irregardless of whether the venus is in taurus, leo or scorpio. (I am not accounting for opposition toward the venuses, this aspect can kill the rigidness).

I am aware that venus in scorpio has the reputation of being very loyal until the end but this is the same attitude with people who have venus in leo and even other leo placements; the same with taurus. Leos and scorpios are actually very similar in an interesting way.

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Yes, right as usual I suppose.

I'm not as familiar with all these specifics so I went by what I am familiar with.
My Sag hides her jealousy very well and it only pops up in critical situations. Jealousy is a foreign thing for Sag, so I figured it was the Venus in Scorpio.

Posted by hikoro
Another thing Cajun,

Despite your woman's scorpio venus, as a sag, her venus may be close to sag venus due to the progression. So, she may display some traits of scorpio and also sag venus.
I have venus in scorpio but I am a few degrees away from sag venus thus, I do relate to this.

This may be a factor behind the attraction between leo venus and scorpio venus, it may not be so much the square aspect but that these scorpio venus may be close to sag (compatible with leo) or, the leo venus may be close to cancer (compatible with scorpio).

I appreciate all the effort. Unfortunately, most of this is going over my head.

I have no idea about squares, trines or all those degrees.

I do catch on to your analogy though. She's a 3rd Decan Sag.

Yes i can be very forgiving person but you cross me and im like a little pitbull and my words are like daggers straight through the heart.

Is he doing this to make me jealous? trouble is im not a jealous type of person he keeps doing what he is doing i will simply pack my things up and leave and i have always done this in every relationship i have been in and never look back and simply remember the bad things that have happened that makes me forget about the person very quickly.

Sorry I dont really know anything about the placements, risings and things so if anybody can work this out it would be very helpful.

My birthday 9 december 1970 his birthday 23 september 1977


Thanks all advice has been appreciated i think it is time i front her face to face im not the type to go on msn and talk behind a computer screen.

Will let you know what happens.

It could be make or break but there are plenty of fish to fry lol

Posted by env012
Yes i can be very forgiving person but you cross me and im like a little pitbull and my words are like daggers straight through the heart.

It's the Scorpio in ya 😛

Is he doing this to make me jealous?

NO
I my self have been guilty of this kind of thing in my relationship. I sincerely just wanted to be friends with my exs... it is just that it never works out.

They are always needy and demanding. I enjoy helping them but ultimately realise [after prodding from my girlfriend] that they just want more.

My Sag would say "Go ahead, do what you want" yet we ALL know what that means in woman language.

trouble is im not a jealous type of person he keeps doing what he is doing i will simply pack my things up and leave and i have always done this in every relationship i have been in and never look back and simply remember the bad things that have happened that makes me forget about the person very quickly.

Consciously no, but if the chart I did up is remotely correct. You do get jealous, hide it and then try to figure out why at a later date or over time. It's against your nature.

Sorry I dont really know anything about the placements, risings and things so if anybody can work this out it would be very helpful.

My birthday 9 december 1970 his birthday 23 september 1977

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I obtained these results from use of this website

I did not know your birthplace, so I used New York, New York.

Sun Sagittarius 17.13
Moon Taurus 7.16
Mercury Capricorn 7.51
Venus Scorpio 11.14
Mars Scorpio 1.55
Jupiter Scorpio 23.06
Saturn Taurus 17.01 R
Uranus Libra 12.50
Neptune Sagittarius 1.14
Pluto Virgo 29.34
Lilith Virgo 10.50
Asc node Aquarius 26.08

As I predicted and hikoro explained. You're emotional spectrum shows that you are very loyal and very faithful and very willing to give a lot into a relationship

You also have the capacity to feel jealous and desire to possess your man, subconsciously.

Thanks all advice has been appreciated i think it is time i front her face to face im not the type to go on msn and talk behind a computer screen.

Will let you know what happens.

It could be make or

Thanks all advice has been appreciated i think it is time i front her face to face im not the type to go on msn and talk behind a computer screen.

Will let you know what happens.

It could be make or break but there are plenty of fish to fry lol

I don't think this is the way you should do things... the onus is on Virgo man to clean his mess...

cajunspirit I live in Australia

Mine is this.

Sun Sagittarius 16.06
Moon Aries 21.52
Mercury Capricorn 6.36
Venus Scorpio 10.54
Mars Scorpio 1.13
Jupiter Scorpio 22.52
Saturn Taurus 17.06 R
Uranus Libra 12.48
Neptune Sagittarius 1.12
Pluto Virgo 29.33
Lilith Virgo 10.42
Asc node Aquarius 26.14


His is this.

Sun Virgo 28.30
Moon Capricorn 16.09
Mercury Virgo 10.39
Venus Leo 28.46
Mars Cancer 12.15
Jupiter Cancer 4.25
Saturn Leo 25.15
Uranus Scorpio 9.32
Neptune Sagittarius 13.35
Pluto Libra 13.30
Lilith Gemini 16.52
Asc node Libra 15.08

Im just going to ride the storm so to speak and see what happens that is the other side of me talking i would love to confront her but in reality i wouldnt do that im too proud.

Posted by hikoro
Therefore, if your woman's venus in scorpio is close to the saggitarius area (like mine), she may display traits of venus in scorpio and also traits of a venus in sag.

Alrighty.

After scorpio, there is sagittarius. Let's say that her scorpio venus is close to sag...well, sag and leo trine (same element) etc

Uuuuuh huuuh... still don't know these squares and trines

If I remember correctly, you are a third decan too. Capricorn being the sign.

I'm a Second Decan, that's the one you are talking about. Saturn is Second Decan.
I have Capricorn Ascendent which just makes it more prevalent I suppose.

Posted by hikoro

Contrary to Cajun's opinion, I think this had little to do with the venus in scorpio. I have to be skeptical with the venus in scorpio argument since I am not (including others) the typical venus in scorpio. I am passionate but also very saggitarian too in terms of romance, it must be the cusp I have. I do have planets in sag too.

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Bah humbug! Your Scorpio is showing!

I still called out her Venus correctly!!!

I want some props! 😢
Where my props at—

Posted by hikoro
Caj,

You can't just take one single aspect and judge the person's actions based on it.
"Oh, he has moon in leo...therefore x", where it could be saturn in leo or any other placements that combined, give a leonine quality.

I am a Virgo, I work well with details.

Venus in scorpios are known to be passionate and possessive but this aspect in venus does not pertain to confrontations...her desire to confront the woman has to do more with her mars (actions) combined with her emotional nature (moon). She has an aries moon, and aries has very possessive and aggressive qualities.

I never speculated about her motivations for confrontation.

No offense, but you are very ignorant about the overall scope of astrology so maybe, you just don't understand what I am trying to convey.

Yes, I am. I openly admit this.

In addition to this, as you have implied in your posts, scorpios annoy you, perchance, you are too prejudiced and centered toward 'the scorpio aspect' to open yourself to explanations that go beyond 'scorpio'.

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Yes and you are annoying me. Typical Scorpio, trying to sidetrack me with irrelevant details and condemn me for things I never talked about. When did I ever attribute her confrontational motivation to anything?
I just said that I don't think she should do it.

All this just proves you are a Scorpio, you don't want to give me any kind of credit. Even after I have made a right prediction and explanation.

Who is the Virgo dating the Sagittarius here? Me or you?

Posted by hikoro
Caj,

And I could argue typical moon in leo??_
Too proud and ego-centered to take criticism, always needs to be validated otherwise, gets easily offended.

I did mention you are an expert in this relationship. Nevertheless, I can offer a woman's perspective and I am no expert in astrology but I try to do the best I can. In addition to this, she is not like your sag, she has too many fixed planets. If anything, her outlook is more similar to yours, —black or white??. It does not have to be a competition. We can both offer our opinions.

You can't credit me in one post, then completely undermine me in another. It's just contradictory.
When I read her posts, I could see clear similarities in her thinking patterns that were in line with my Sag.

Your "professor" expressions easily depict a picture of your "read" knowledge surpassing my "first hand experience".

Criticism is fine, but no recognition for calling out her Venus is just distasteful to me.