Virgo men, babies and trying to keep a woman

My Virgo man and I (cancerian woman) have been seeing each other for over a year and on the whole it has been going ok. Anyhow I moved into his house in December and for whatever reason it doesnt feel like home to me yet - he used to live there with his ex. and there is still little signs of her all around the house. Does this mean he hasnt moved on either are virgos likely to hoard things to remember past loves (she walked out on him)

We have done a lot of drugs together over the course of the last year and I told him that I was done doing drugs as it goes against the very core of who i am. I only started doing them because he was - pretty weak I know for a 37yr old woman. Anyway I saw the light I guess.

On the weekend he said to me that he wants to have a baby together and that he feels it would complete our relationship. Is it normal for a Virgo guy to suggest this if he feels a relationship is growing apart and he wants to keep it together? It seems like a big step for such a cautious guy. He basically said he has plans in place for him and I, and he doesnt want to see those plans vanish.

I love him alot but I guess I feel the relationship has lost a bit of its spark and maybe he senses this. For me I dont want to have a baby if it is a means of masking something wrong in a relationship. Advice please do Virgos say things just to please someone or do they really speak from their heart?

joelle .. there is a serious issue with this man and we've discussed it before. I remember your concerns before about his obsession with peodophelia and drugs. NOW he wants children of his own ..

.. red flags should be waving all over the place here.

Does he still talk about it all the time still?
If so, the last thing I would be considering is bringing an innocent baby into his world if he is still struggling with this issue. You've not mentioned it in this particular thread, so maybe he has come to terms with it.

Still .. it's apparant that he has some abandonment issues. His ex walked out, he keeps memorabilia from her and now he fears losing you, so will go to an extreme to keep you.

Joelle .. I'm sure you care for him, or you wouldn't still be with him .. but, the time has to come where you have to put your feelings for him aside and look at the whole picture .. this man needs some help. There's something terribly wrong inside and he's not facing it .. until he does, it's likely he will continue to struggle.

Anyway .. I think it's very admirable that you would still want to help him, knowing he has some demented issues with sex .. maybe the prudent thing to do would be to help him overcome what has him traumatized and then from there, he will be able to gain some strength and perspective about relationships too.

Just two cents, for what it's worth.

Thank you very much for your advice and comments. I feel very heavy hearted and have done for awhile - I guess I have known this relationship in my heart of hearts was not going anywhere and i was hoping like hell it would. It is my natural tendency to help people and make sure they are happy in their lives. He claims there are no issues in his life or that he has regrets or needs to talk about, he doesnt see himself as 'struggling with issues'. I know a lot of them are mine to deal with, I like to talk things through, wanting to get to the core of a person but he doesnt need this. He says he is comfortable in this relationship but I am the one looking for more - am I looking for problems in this because I cant see a relationship between us without him smoking pot? Nevertheless I am on birth control and will stay that way & unfortunately my strong desire to be a Mum (the cancerian way isnt it?) will have to wait yet again.
Bugger - thanks again, I will keep tuning into this board. I have learnt so much.

joelle .. it's just in the nature of Virgo to say that they don't need help with something .. to burden another with thier problems is something they won't allow themselves to do, eventhough sharing is the right thing to do, for if a person is to love you, then you have to ALLOW them to through nurturing .. it sounds reasonable for his kind to say that there is nothing he is struggling with, simply because he doesn't want to worry you, though, by him doing this only serves to worry you more .. I know, it's backwards .. welcome to the world of Virgo's.

As for pot smoking .. that's nothing, really. Being an alcoholic, or crack-head would probably be much worse. When you said doing a lot of drugs .. marijuana? We all have "things" that we do, vises, flaws .. and weed just doesn't seem so bad in comparison to others that a person might have.

You care for him very much, or you wouldn't be with him, you wouldn't have moved in with him .. you wouldn't be here trying to figure out what's going on with him. So, all is NOT lost with him. Everybody deserves to be loved by somebody. Without being loved .. what's the purpose in continuing in life?

"I like to talk things through, wanting to get to the core of a person but he doesnt need this."

Everybody needs this .. your delimna is something that most women who want a Virgo must face at some point. Sadly, the only way I've found to get a Virgo to accept that their partner MUST have them emotionally to be complete is by dis-continuing the care for them .. only when you turn your back and say you no longer give a damn about what they do, will the light go off in their heads .. and it's a pity, really, to have to play head-games with them .. but, it's the only way. To get them to talk about their feelings for REAL, is only real when it is done through false measures.

The won't willingly tell you anything .. until you create drama .. damn shame.

Anyway .. if you show him (play) that you don't care ... he'll turn around and be willing to "talk" about feelings with you.

Good luck and I'm sorry you have to do this, for I know it's not the way that most people want to show their love.