Virgo-one step forward, two steps back? Is it always like this?

So after five months my Virgo guy out of the blue texted me after work just to talk. (he has NEVER done this-he rarely initiates contact but always replies quickly and enthusiastically). I was happy about that, considered it a positive step-until this weekend. He lives about an hour away and could not make the drive to come see me. I offered to come to him, but he declined as he had standing plans with a buddy and his buddy's wife the next day. He has also mentioned in passing that "he likes his little world the way it is" when I brought up anyone knowing about us (our families are friends). When we are together it is amazing and I KNOW he likes me (he has told me as well) but I feel as if he is not making any effort where we are concerned. To be fair, he is a workaholic and I respect that, but he also hates to use the phone so he rarely texts or calls. I really like this man and feel a strong connection, but the constant MIA after getting close is driving me insane! I finally texted him a few days ago saying if all it was with us is sex then that's cool, just let me know so I don't keep investing feelings. He didn't reply to that text...am I reading everything wrong here?!?!?!? (I am a Sagittarius). Any and all advice welcomed and greatly appreciated.

Don't mind me, I'm just here to post this song.

It's a clue that he's not ready to commit

Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

Posted by TurquoiseArrow
if he like really liked you his friends amd family would know about you.

i dont think your reading anything wrong there.

I guess I should have been more detailed-his sister is married to my brother and he is considered the black sheep of his family-before the "I like my world the way it is" comment, he mentioned that he was worried that they would look at me unfavorably if they found out. He has also never been in a relationship and he is 38 years old-so I have tried to cut him some slack when it comes to learning things...I just don't know. 😢

Posted by Toti
Had same issue with a Virgo man. A workaholic, very confident, we had a strong connection, went MIA after getting very close. Turned out he was engaged. Be careful and lots of luck.

Because I know him and his family very well (his sister is married to my brother) I know 100% he is not with anyone else-but he does go MIA for at least two weeks in between each time we see each other. Its very frustrating.

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

100% sure. In fact he is 38 and no relationship ever before-just very introverted, shy, and not very social.

Posted by DarkLyon
It's a clue that he's not ready to commit

I am thinking the same thing. I have pulled way back-at this point if he wants to talk or hang out, he will have to initiate-I am too old and do not have the energy to play the waiting game anymore.

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

100% sure. In fact he is 38 and no relationship ever before-just very introverted, shy, and not very social.

click to expand

I think, the never being in a relationship before and is 38 is a red flag, he just may not be a person that can commit to someone.

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

100% sure. In fact he is 38 and no relationship ever before-just very introverted, shy, and not very social.

I think, the never being in a relationship before and is 38 is a red flag, he just may not be a person that can commit to someone.

click to expand

I am starting to think the same thing..which is disappointing, but what can I do? Just hang back and see if he does anything I guess. Just once I would like to see a flag of a different color from a man!! 🙂

Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

Posted by greylatern
have you actually told him how you feel instead of playing it off? We can be pretty thick sometimes you know but i don't think that this is the case. You did not establish your needs in the "relationship" so he just thinks your ok with the situation. He is talking you word for it.

About a month ago I told him I had missed him and he acknowledged I was "catching feelings"-and said he liked me too. The last text I sent him was after I started feeling he didn't really make an effort to see me as much as I thought he would/should. My text was basically that I would like him to let me know if it was just a casual hooking up thing-that I would just like to know before investing any more feelings. He did not respond to the text (and he always responds) so I took that as maybe he didn't feel like that so he didn't feel a need to reply? He is very simple with communication and HATES using the phone-when he is with me he never looks at it or uses it-but never hides it or anything. I am so damn confused.

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

click to expand

He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.

But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.

But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.

As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.

But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.

But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.

As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol

click to expand

WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

This was my thought reading the op!

Does he really NEVER take your calls? Even workaholics have a few minutes everyday to communicate with their SO. Unless of course their REAL SO (wifee) is in the room with them.

Whether there is someone else in the picture really doesn't matter. He's treating you like a side chick. It's up to you to decide your boundaries and whether you'll put up with it.

Sag complaining about mia is Hilarious.

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by greylatern
have you actually told him how you feel instead of playing it off? We can be pretty thick sometimes you know but i don't think that this is the case. You did not establish your needs in the "relationship" so he just thinks your ok with the situation. He is talking you word for it.

About a month ago I told him I had missed him and he acknowledged I was "catching feelings"-and said he liked me too. The last text I sent him was after I started feeling he didn't really make an effort to see me as much as I thought he would/should. My text was basically that I would like him to let me know if it was just a casual hooking up thing-that I would just like to know before investing any more feelings. He did not respond to the text (and he always responds) so I took that as maybe he didn't feel like that so he didn't feel a need to reply? He is very simple with communication and HATES using the phone-when he is with me he never looks at it or uses it-but never hides it or anything. I am so damn confused.

click to expand

It's better to discuss this kind of stuff face to face. Next time you guys hang out bring up your expectations, how often you expect communication/face to face time.

Posted by Weeds
Sag complaining about mia is Hilarious.

How so? I am very considerate of letting people know I need time and space

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

This was my thought reading the op!

Does he really NEVER take your calls? Even workaholics have a few minutes everyday to communicate with their SO. Unless of course their REAL SO (wifee) is in the room with them.

Whether there is someone else in the picture really doesn't matter. He's treating you like a side chick. It's up to you to decide your boundaries and whether you'll put up with it.

click to expand

I will only text him since he does construction-normally he will respond immediately but if he cannot, he will when he is free..there is no one else but you are correct about the sidechick thing-I shouldn't feel like that when we are both free (he is single never had a relationship I am recently divorced).

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by Weeds
Sag complaining about mia is Hilarious.

How so? I am very considerate of letting people know I need time and space

click to expand

Then understanding when ppl need me time without them needing to inform you is just as considering.

Anyway is that all your issue is?

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.

But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.

But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.

As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol

WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!

click to expand

The FWB discussion you had with yours made me laugh as I had the exact same talk with mine before he vanished. I did want a relationship with him but i realised he wasn't that type of material he was more go out have a wild night, have sex then don't see each other for a month type of guy. I was cool with that as we did have some good nights and I myself cannot vision someone living with me, getting married etc etc. Maybe this scares a virgo man off hahaha

I think both these men are sad sorry cases that need to be left to wallow alone and as a sag and an aqua I don't think either of us are used to or need to tolerate this BS in our lives!

Oh and I message him within a reasonable time line after our last encounter 1/2 weeks i'll make the effort but if it's solely me making the effort then I stop texting i'm not chasing him a month after

Posted by Weeds

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by Weeds
Sag complaining about mia is Hilarious.

How so? I am very considerate of letting people know I need time and space

Then understanding when ppl need me time without them needing to inform you is just as considering.

Anyway is that all your issue is?

click to expand

I think me time is great, but when it is 90% of the time, it tends to become inconsiderate to the person you supposedly are having developing feelings for (IMO). I guess my issue is I am not sure if it is actual me time, or just time he doesn't want to spend with me. He is amazing in person but its the in between times and lack of communication that makes me wonder.

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.

But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.

But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.

As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol

WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!

The FWB discussion you had with yours made me laugh as I had the exact same talk with mine before he vanished. I did want a relationship with him but i realised he wasn't that type of material he was more go out have a wild night, have sex then don't see each other for a month type of guy. I was cool with that as we did have some good nights and I myself cannot vision someone living with me, getting married etc etc. Maybe this scares a virgo man off hahaha

I think both these men are sad sorry cases that need to be left to wallow alone and as a sag and an aqua I don't think either of us are used to or need to tolerate this BS in our lives!

click to expand

Yes as a Sag and Aqua we are both very straightforward and I just hate beating around the bush. I don't want to rush things, or live together, or proclaim love to each other-just a simple "yeah I suck at calling and texting but I do want to see if we can make something out of this" would be nice. OR he could just man up and say it was great sex but that was all he wanted, see ya! that would save a lot of time and hurt feelings. I am pretty much done. I have not spoke to him since that text and that was four days ago. I am not going to reach out at all-if he does not make an attempt, I suppose that is answer enough. I need to meet a male Sag I think! LOL

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by Weeds

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by Weeds
Sag complaining about mia is Hilarious.

How so? I am very considerate of letting people know I need time and space

Then understanding when ppl need me time without them needing to inform you is just as considering.

Anyway is that all your issue is?

I think me time is great, but when it is 90% of the time, it tends to become inconsiderate to the person you supposedly are having developing feelings for (IMO). I guess my issue is I am not sure if it is actual me time, or just time he doesn't want to spend with me. He is amazing in person but its the in between times and lack of communication that makes me wonder.

click to expand

Virgos are natural loners.

It's always safer it's always easier.

Main reason why virgos prefer being friendzoned.

It's simple it's easy.

It's a whole different ballgame not everyone is up for it and if that's your biggest issue you have then get use to it or find someone more your type.

Posted by Weeds

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by Weeds

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by Weeds
Sag complaining about mia is Hilarious.

How so? I am very considerate of letting people know I need time and space

Then understanding when ppl need me time without them needing to inform you is just as considering.

Anyway is that all your issue is?

I think me time is great, but when it is 90% of the time, it tends to become inconsiderate to the person you supposedly are having developing feelings for (IMO). I guess my issue is I am not sure if it is actual me time, or just time he doesn't want to spend with me. He is amazing in person but its the in between times and lack of communication that makes me wonder.

Virgos are natural loners.

It's always safer it's always easier.

Main reason why virgos prefer being friendzoned.

It's simple it's easy.

It's a whole different ballgame not everyone is up for it and if that's your biggest issue you have then get use to it or find someone more your type.

click to expand

I think you are right.

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.

But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.

But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.

As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol

WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!

The FWB discussion you had with yours made me laugh as I had the exact same talk with mine before he vanished. I did want a relationship with him but i realised he wasn't that type of material he was more go out have a wild night, have sex then don't see each other for a month type of guy. I was cool with that as we did have some good nights and I myself cannot vision someone living with me, getting married etc etc. Maybe this scares a virgo man off hahaha

I think both these men are sad sorry cases that need to be left to wallow alone and as a sag and an aqua I don't think either of us are used to or need to tolerate this BS in our lives!

Yes as a Sag and Aqua we are both very straightforward and I just hate beating around the bush. I don't want to rush things, or live together, or proclaim love to each other-just a simple "yeah I suck at calling and texting but I do want to see if we can make something out of this" would be nice. OR he could just man up and say it was great sex but that was all he wanted, see ya! that would save a lot of time and hurt feelings. I am pretty much done. I have not spoke to him since that text and that was four days ago. I am not going to reach out at all-if he does not make an attempt, I suppose that is answer enough. I need to meet a male Sag I think! LOL

click to expand

NOOOOOOOO lol dating a sag man is emotional hell!! They like the chase but once they've got you they don't want you and they don't just leave in silence like the virgo men its destructive! As soon as you show signs you're over them they're right back at your door! So when you eventually do decide its over for good and there's no way you're going back some turn into intense stalkers, trust me I have a draw full of restraining orders solely from my 2 sag exes lol The sag stalker is a topic that crops up on the sag board like disappearing virgos! I have sag moon I like the chase an new beginning but as soon as the honey moon is over I want out but I don't stalk or go back. Female sags are very different.

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124

Posted by SagChick72

Posted by haylz124
Ha there's many of us on here had a vanishing virgo on our hands! Mine is 32 and never had a relationship, allot of shy introverts can still get into relationships that's no excuse. Mine actually told his family about me but I refused to tell mine about him as we weren't serious enough in my eyes. I'd hold my feelings back in any case I told mine where to go last weekend as I was sick of his vanishing acts. I don't think it's a game I think there's a handful of these virgo men that just don't commit I also believe they have many mental issues (not all a small selection). I'v been through hell in my life and fixed myself mentally through intense therapy, I'v come to the conclusion i'm not allowing someone that hasn't and can't be bothered to work through his! Dig deeper i'm sure you'll find he's not that much of a good person or worth your time!

Good luck

Thank you. I am for sure putting my feelings in check now. Its sad because we have an amazing time together and mesh very well-the intimacy is off the charts-but apparently he is not ready for a commitment-I could carry on as we have been (seeing each other twice a month or so) as long as I knew it was going somewhere. I am pretty much done, I think-which is very sad and disappointing but I really don't have time for a man who can't step up-like you said, a lot of shy guys can get into relationships-getting tired of that excuse pretty quickly. Thank you and what was the response of your Virgo when you told him off—

He's not happy about it he tried to fix things but i'm not having any of it right now! When I am angry I need to be left alone not for long but until I come around. Then I will come find you rather than be bothered while i'm angry. He kept bothering me apologizing. See mine when I call him on his BS he needs to convince me he's a good person! He was posting daily FB statuses before aimed at me! There was no denying the posts were aimed at me he put my nickname in the statuses he named me. I called him on the and told him to just say things to my face instead of this way. It was the last time he vanished and he started saying he's made mistakes etc etc so nothing bad it was the way he did it I pulled him on. Well did he bring it up repeatedly!!! he was then the nicest person ever for a brief period until he vanished again...... he also hasn't posted on FB for a month now hahaha I don't think he dare.

But yeah I don't think he's happy I don't care. Your relationship boundaries are built in the early days of you being together he needs to know this is not OK or acceptable behaviour. Nobody needs space more than me I have a fantastic relationship with myself. I need to withdraw from the world allot to realign my perspective of myself and my goals. But that is not an excuse to disappear for long periods of time at all! In the early stages of a relationship most people need reassurance it's still on with the other person. Mine was going MIA for 4-6 weeks at a time there's just no need for that and if it's to get your emotions in check there's no way you need that long, 2 weeks tops.

But when he's come back before he behaves like we're in an intense relationship wants to message all day everyday i'm not in to that i find it annoying but I do it for him. But he was on holiday for a few days the last time we were good together I hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks and he was asking me if I missed him while he was away?!? I mean WTF? i'm sure if i'v just manages 6 weeks no contact I can bare the separation of him going away for the weekend ha.

As you've seen here i'v done several things that slightly annoy me in a relationship like text back 24/7 and allow him to vanish a couple of times in the very early stages when i'd rather be holed up with him treetrunking all day but there's none of that from him no consideration for my security so it's all one way. I read on another thread an MIA virgo is seriously considering a relationship with you and gathering himself but treetrunk that! this fajizzle is not for me at all there's millions of men out there I do not need to be hanging about for this mental mess! sorry I went off on one lol

WOW. Yeah, cant say I blame you on that kind of game playing. Mine tends to pop up every two weeks or so-but the closer we get intimately or the heavier we get into convos about feelings, he goes MIA for a little longer. Again, if I reach out during this time he will always respond, but I am tired of being the one to make all of the effort, all of the time. With us being so early on and attempting to go from a casual hook up thing to really liking each other, I am with you-shouldn't he want to be with me at least on the weekends to have sex, if nothing else?? He is very OCD about his work and when he is working that is all there is. Then after work, its drinking. So I am coming in a distant third. You are right there are millions of men out there-surely I can find one who actually WANTS a relationship!!!

The FWB discussion you had with yours made me laugh as I had the exact same talk with mine before he vanished. I did want a relationship with him but i realised he wasn't that type of material he was more go out have a wild night, have sex then don't see each other for a month type of guy. I was cool with that as we did have some good nights and I myself cannot vision someone living with me, getting married etc etc. Maybe this scares a virgo man off hahaha

I think both these men are sad sorry cases that need to be left to wallow alone and as a sag and an aqua I don't think either of us are used to or need to tolerate this BS in our lives!

Yes as a Sag and Aqua we are both very straightforward and I just hate beating around the bush. I don't want to rush things, or live together, or proclaim love to each other-just a simple "yeah I suck at calling and texting but I do want to see if we can make something out of this" would be nice. OR he could just man up and say it was great sex but that was all he wanted, see ya! that would save a lot of time and hurt feelings. I am pretty much done. I have not spoke to him since that text and that was four days ago. I am not going to reach out at all-if he does not make an attempt, I suppose that is answer enough. I need to meet a male Sag I think! LOL

NOOOOOOOO lol dating a sag man is emotional hell!! They like the chase but once they've got you they don't want you and they don't just leave in silence like the virgo men its destructive! As soon as you show signs you're over them they're right back at your door! So when you eventually do decide its over for good and there's no way you're going back some turn into intense stalkers, trust me I have a draw full of restraining orders solely from my 2 sag exes lol The sag stalker is a topic that crops up on the sag board like disappearing virgos! I have sag moon I like the chase an new beginning but as soon as the honey moon is over I want out but I don't stalk or go back. Female sags are very different.

click to expand

good to know! This is my first (and probably last) Virgo-the love of my life was a Libra. I think next time I meet someone I am not going to ask anything about their sign!! LOL

Posted by TomSawyer
??

sorry to have bothered you with my inane posting. Thank you for taking time to ridicule it 🙂

So you are dating your brother in law? Is it okay? If your virgo is conservative one, it is probably the issue. Mine, he is unconventional, so that thing will be okay for him.

Your ex and the love of your life is Libra. I think It means you need a man who support, spoil, assure and chase you. Then you will commit to him. So probably lets look a man who will give that things to you. ?