Virgo Women, Need for Control, Fear of Rejection (Dumper/Dumpee)

I'm a Virgo/ Cancer rising/ moon in Leo.

All I can tell you is if I think for any reason there is no future for someone, I will immediately cut all ties and move on mentally and physically. It sounds like your girl wasn't sure about the future so she branched out to other "candidates".

It's no right and I'm not condoning it- but I can see it happening.

I'm so hard on myself that it makes me almost physically sick to accept responsibility for any relationship wrongdoing. It *has* to be someone else's fault and I *have* to be a victim in order to be "safe" if that makes any sense.

Also astrology aside, you said that you two were "relationship-y". Sounds like she didn't consider what you had as an actual relationship and you may have been you jumping to conclusions. You also said she made no mention of making you her boyfriend, so that further leads me to believe that she didn't want exclusivity with you (at least not yet). Sounds like you overlooked some obvious flags.

Since she just broke up with her boyfriend, her emotions were probably all over the place. The LAST thing you'd want to do is try to lock her into a relationship soon after. Why? At best you're only setting yourself as the rebound guy.

Looks like she wanted to sew her wild oats and enjoy the single life a bit. You were so focused on being this girls "future boyfriend" though that you forgot the age ol' rule of never jumping right into a relationship with person who just broke up with someone. You have to give them time to acclimate and resolve their feelings from their last relationship.

Looks like you were one of a few options in her mind. You probably could have become THE option for her, but as you said you were so focused on her that "she knew she had" you. This is also why she drifted away after you two hooked up. She could tell you were more into her than she was into you. You were probably too available, so she got a little bored with you. She had you on the side while she explored possibilities with other guys. Again, you two weren't exclusive, so technically she was free to see other people. This angered you and you ended things.

So really it sounds like you tried to force things when she was just looking to have fun. Then after ending things with her you tried reaching back out to her to "closure". This wasn't a good look because you appeared unsure of yourself and a bit wishy-washy. She's of course became irritated and gace you the cold shoulder. I think it's safe to say this is officially done. It's best to just let this go and move on with your life.

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuy
I can't help your situation but sorry to hear about it. The worst thing is the not talking / cutting contact. I can understand the logic but it absolutely wrecked me emotionally when a Virgo girl did that to me and that wasn't even a relationship. Hope things work out for you.

Why are we always hurting Taurus guys —

Posted by FknNerd
If they dont like you, then youre probably not relationship material and you have a lot that needs changing. I said it.

Or they just don't like you and there's NOTHING wrong with you.

Wtf with the cuntiness in this topic?

Posted by libraman20
Hey guys, long time lurker here.

Her: Virgo Sun and Mars / Leo Moon / Scorp Rising / Libra Venus / Libra Merc

Me: Libra Sun and Mars / Virgo Moon / Scorp Rising / Scorp Venus / Virgo Merc

I know Virgo girls (and guys too) hate to be thought poorly of, and always strive for perfection. Most say they’re hardest on themselves, but from my experience with this Virgal, she never takes responsibility for her mistakes and will rarely express regret (even though she might show it indirectly through the emotions she tries to hide). Most Virgos seem to move on from breakups easily (if they end it, because they already rationalized it), but what about if the other person dumped them?

I’ve had this great mutual attraction/connection with this gorgeous Virgal for a few years (from work) but she had a BF (cancer), so I tried to let it go (we both had jobs lined up in different cities later in the year too). But she broke up with him (he took it roughly), moved onto me (not officially), and we hit it off. I guess we got too relationship-y too fast (my Libra Sun/Scorp Venus didn’t help), but I knew it was now or never. She always showed signs of being extremely into me as a future BF, but would almost never express it verbally (classic Virgal), so I’d always question things on where we stood.

I think after I expressed interest, she felt like she “had” me, and was in control, as she wanted (she clearly had control over her ex). On a side note, she used to cry when she was still with her BF and I would leave work, because we couldn’t spend time outside of work, probably because she felt like she had no control of me/the situation then.

But she drifted a bit after we hooked up, and I gave her space, assuming she was figuring stuff out with her ex. Her interest came back in a big way a few weeks later, only to have me find out she had been hooking up with another coworker and mutual friend in our circle (not particularly attractive/unambitious guy who would happily be her lapdog; not to be conceited but I was the only guy at work in her physical attractiveness range) during the previous few weeks. I was shocked and I ended it with her on the spot (she was devastated). Put in my 2-weeks notice (I was going to leave soon anyways), and she apparently “ended” it with the other guy during then (and was a mess during those 2 weeks).

Even then, I think she assumed I’d come back. I didn’t. I know she felt rejected (and her Leo Moon’s need for attention/admiration + Virgo Sun’s fear of rejection = perfect storm). I assume her Virgo Mars influenced her “only physical” attitude towards sex with the other guy, but even then, I’ll never know, since she refuses to talk. A red flag came from her always criticizing her exes (without ever taking any blame), but I overlooked it then.

I tried to reach out cordially to get some closure, but she refuses to talk to me. What always sucked is that she’s not unemotional -- she’s actually very emotional – she just doesn’t have a clue on how to express them.

Do you think she feels so much regret that she messed things up that she can’t talk to me face to face?

Is she trying to "flip" the power again by going no-contact?

How do you Virgals act/feel when you get rejected/know you’re to blame?

You read everything right.

Zero regret, yes on the power thing and zero remorse.

Don't trip yourself up over this. Don't budge, don't communicate, erase her from your life. Don't try to figure out any behavior/strategy.

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Damnata

Posted by FknNerd
If they dont like you, then youre probably not relationship material and you have a lot that needs changing. I said it.

Or they just don't like you and there's NOTHING wrong with you.

Wtf with the cuntiness in this topic?

Giving him a glimpse of the virgo mindset since he's so backwards. Dude doesnt even really respond to what people are saying. Its like he's not even really reading. He's talking to himself and bringing things up that no one in this topic mentioned. Would you like me to quote and point it all out for you, or can you go be a cunt to someone else and stop challenging this cunt for alpha cuntism? Because you should know that I dgaf even if you do feel a different way towards him with your version of virgoan jump to conclusions irrationality. If a virgo doesnt like you then in their opinion, youre not a good person, and you have to decide to take the hellish life that will ensue or leave it because I among other virgos will not change; therefore, if you choose to stay in their life then you have to change ending my point. That is my virgo mindset. You can pick and choose when you want to be a cunt, but you dont get to control when I do so please. Here's the door... I couldnt find a door emoticon.



If you still find that you are having an issue, please use the report option.

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I see, you woke up on the water moon side of your bed.

It's alright.

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Damnata

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Damnata

Posted by FknNerd
If they dont like you, then youre probably not relationship material and you have a lot that needs changing. I said it.

Or they just don't like you and there's NOTHING wrong with you.

Wtf with the cuntiness in this topic?

Giving him a glimpse of the virgo mindset since he's so backwards. Dude doesnt even really respond to what people are saying. Its like he's not even really reading. He's talking to himself and bringing things up that no one in this topic mentioned. Would you like me to quote and point it all out for you, or can you go be a cunt to someone else and stop challenging this cunt for alpha cuntism? Because you should know that I dgaf even if you do feel a different way towards him with your version of virgoan jump to conclusions irrationality. If a virgo doesnt like you then in their opinion, youre not a good person, and you have to decide to take the hellish life that will ensue or leave it because I among other virgos will not change; therefore, if you choose to stay in their life then you have to change ending my point. That is my virgo mindset. You can pick and choose when you want to be a cunt, but you dont get to control when I do so please. Here's the door... I couldnt find a door emoticon.



If you still find that you are having an issue, please use the report option.

I see, you woke up on the water moon side of your bed.

It's alright.

I had to endure a half an hour of non stop harassment from CC for being white before I posted that lol.

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LMAO.

Posted by libraman20
Thanks Damnata, that means a lot.

A part of me does miss her and wants to know if she feels regret for anything, but yeah...rationally speaking she's not worth it.

She likes having guys she can control since back in the day she dated a cheating playboy who broke her heart. Nearly every guy she's dated/surrounded herself with since then has been wrapped around her finger. I think overall I was the least of the bunch, but she still assumed I liked her too much to leave. Too bad.

Glad to be of help.

It's those thoughts that bind you and benefit of the doubt scenarios. Don't go low with comparisons or anything..just enjoy the experience for what it was. After all, for positive or negative it produced an effect. Try not to prolong it, for your own mental peace.

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuy

Posted by Sunsetvirgo

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuy
I can't help your situation but sorry to hear about it. The worst thing is the not talking / cutting contact. I can understand the logic but it absolutely wrecked me emotionally when a Virgo girl did that to me and that wasn't even a relationship. Hope things work out for you.

Why are we always hurting Taurus guys —

I'd do anything to make things better but it's pretty difficult if the person won't talk to you.

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Understandable :/

Idk it just seems like Taurus guys are hurt by Virgo women more than any other sign. From what I've seen on dxp anyway.