Confused_
@Confused_
9 Years
Comments: 40 · Posts: 211 · Topics: 3
What's a better way
Be honest and sincere. Don't try to argue or point fingers, just explain why it's not working for you in a logical manner. Make your point while keeping your emotions completely in check, then walk away.
And make it VERY clear that there's no chance of reconciliation, and afterward enforce a strict no-contact rule until he's dating someone else. I just can't emphasize that enough, because if you don't he's going to think he still has a chance.
Think, how would you break up with Mr. Spock?
Leaving and letting someone "figure it out eventually" is childish and cruel, I don't care what signs are involved.
And make it VERY clear that there's no chance of reconciliation, and afterward enforce a strict no-contact rule until he's dating someone else. I just can't emphasize that enough, because if you don't he's going to think he still has a chance.
Think, how would you break up with Mr. Spock?
Leaving and letting someone "figure it out eventually" is childish and cruel, I don't care what signs are involved.
Posted by csdude55Well, I will be lucky if I get to the resolution point. I tried to bring this topic several times but it's been always taken as personal attack not as my perspective on a situation. It's just as if I'm only making unnecesary problems. I once started to distance myself after the first huge fight but he wanted so badly to get past through it so I gave in eventually and everything went back to "normal". And he didn't even acknowledge what went wrong, because it's a part of his character and not consciouss wrong doing towards me, and that's the biggest issue here, that's the way he is is the problem! And I would rather just leave than having to explain my decision because on one side I still like him dearly, we're compatible but this lack of honesty (real intimacy) he can't handle (from my experience, maybe he can but not with me) is killing me. After years of being together it's even harder. Because we can roll like that forever but it's not fun anymore. Ugh, I'm also afraid that for some reason, after speaking my whole thuth things can end up pretty bad...which I also don't look forward to. Yes' good points. It will be loosing a friend too :/
Be honest and sincere. Don't try to argue or point fingers, just explain why it's not working for you in a logical manner. Make your point while keeping your emotions completely in check, then walk away.
And make it VERY clear that there's no chance of reconciliation, and afterward enforce a strict no-contact rule until he's dating someone else. I just can't emphasize that enough, because if you don't he's going to think he still has a chance.
Think, how would you break up with Mr. Spock?
Leaving and letting someone "figure it out eventually" is childish and cruel, I don't care what signs are involved.
Posted by drunkghostUgh. It's more tricky than it looks like, I need to learn to speak my truth when it hurts :/ it's easier for me to ignore the problem than to hurt someone I like. :/
be honest face to face critiscim may suck in the moment but we'll take it, analyze, dissect it, understand it, and move on
whatever you do don't put yourself on a pedestal
Posted by Confused_Posted by csdude55Well, I will be lucky if I get to the resolution point. I tried to bring this topic several times but it's been always taken as personal attack not as my perspective on a situation. It's just as if I'm only making unnecesary problems. I once started to distance myself after the first huge fight but he wanted so badly to get past through it so I gave in eventually and everything went back to "normal". And he didn't even acknowledge what went wrong, because it's a part of his character and not consciouss wrong doing towards me, and that's the biggest issue here, that's the way he is is the problem! And I would rather just leave than having to explain my decision because on one side I still like him dearly, we're compatible but this lack of honesty (real intimacy) he can't handle (from my experience, maybe he can but not with me) is killing me. After years of being together it's even harder. Because we can roll like that forever but it's not fun anymore. Ugh, I'm also afraid that for some reason, after speaking my whole thuth things can end up pretty bad...which I also don't look forward to. Yes' good points. It will be loosing a friend too :/
Be honest and sincere. Don't try to argue or point fingers, just explain why it's not working for you in a logical manner. Make your point while keeping your emotions completely in check, then walk away.
And make it VERY clear that there's no chance of reconciliation, and afterward enforce a strict no-contact rule until he's dating someone else. I just can't emphasize that enough, because if you don't he's going to think he still has a chance.
Think, how would you break up with Mr. Spock?
Leaving and letting someone "figure it out eventually" is childish and cruel, I don't care what signs are involved.click to expand
Leave sounds very abusive ... Manipulative ... Can't admit their part to the situation ? Leave ... His ego seems to be through the roof ... And I wouldn't say nothing about leaving .. The lack of respect on his part is the issue ... Bounce ... speaking your whole truth tends to get ugly ? In what way... Your truth is your truth... And if he has a problem something wrong ... And if blow out happens.sigh... Bounce hun..
Ignoring astrology for a second, I was in a relationship like this one in high school. She's a Sag, though, not a Virgo.
We were good friends for awhile, then started dating. We were OK for about 6 months, before I realized that I had lost my feelings for her and really wished we could just be friends again.
I told her this, but she begged, and cried, and begged, and cried, until I gave in.
A few months later, I told her again. She begged, and cried... I gave in.
This repeated for a little over a year. Until finally, the only way I could think to end it was to be very mean and cruel, and ended up yelling and screaming until she couldn't take it anymore. Later, she told me that she cried with her mom all night, and still wanted me back.
That was the worst thing I think I've ever done, but I was a kid and just couldn't think of another way.
Here we are 20-some years later, and she still hates me for it. I ran in to her a few months ago and tried to say hi... her husband remembered me and was friendly, but she acted like she didn't know who I was.
Point being, there might not be any way to go back to being friends. He might just be one of those people that you're going to have to break his heart, and he'll always hate you for it.
We were good friends for awhile, then started dating. We were OK for about 6 months, before I realized that I had lost my feelings for her and really wished we could just be friends again.
I told her this, but she begged, and cried, and begged, and cried, until I gave in.
A few months later, I told her again. She begged, and cried... I gave in.
This repeated for a little over a year. Until finally, the only way I could think to end it was to be very mean and cruel, and ended up yelling and screaming until she couldn't take it anymore. Later, she told me that she cried with her mom all night, and still wanted me back.
That was the worst thing I think I've ever done, but I was a kid and just couldn't think of another way.
Here we are 20-some years later, and she still hates me for it. I ran in to her a few months ago and tried to say hi... her husband remembered me and was friendly, but she acted like she didn't know who I was.
Point being, there might not be any way to go back to being friends. He might just be one of those people that you're going to have to break his heart, and he'll always hate you for it.
Posted by Bottabingyeah, still in the making of escape plan X_xPosted by Confused_Posted by csdude55Well, I will be lucky if I get to the resolution point. I tried to bring this topic several times but it's been always taken as personal attack not as my perspective on a situation. It's just as if I'm only making unnecesary problems. I once started to distance myself after the first huge fight but he wanted so badly to get past through it so I gave in eventually and everything went back to "normal". And he didn't even acknowledge what went wrong, because it's a part of his character and not consciouss wrong doing towards me, and that's the biggest issue here, that's the way he is is the problem! And I would rather just leave than having to explain my decision because on one side I still like him dearly, we're compatible but this lack of honesty (real intimacy) he can't handle (from my experience, maybe he can but not with me) is killing me. After years of being together it's even harder. Because we can roll like that forever but it's not fun anymore. Ugh, I'm also afraid that for some reason, after speaking my whole thuth things can end up pretty bad...which I also don't look forward to. Yes' good points. It will be loosing a friend too :/
Be honest and sincere. Don't try to argue or point fingers, just explain why it's not working for you in a logical manner. Make your point while keeping your emotions completely in check, then walk away.
And make it VERY clear that there's no chance of reconciliation, and afterward enforce a strict no-contact rule until he's dating someone else. I just can't emphasize that enough, because if you don't he's going to think he still has a chance.
Think, how would you break up with Mr. Spock?
Leaving and letting someone "figure it out eventually" is childish and cruel, I don't care what signs are involved.
Leave sounds very abusive ... Manipulative ... Can't admit their part to the situation ? Leave ... His ego seems to be through the roof ... And I wouldn't say nothing about leaving .. The lack of respect on his part is the issue ... Bounce ... speaking your whole truth tends to get ugly ? In what way... Your truth is your truth... And if he has a problem something wrong ... And if blow out happens.sigh... Bounce hun..
click to expand
Posted by Confused_Lol the funny thing is. "letting them figure it out" you could not speak to them for months and they wont realise its over, and pop up like nothing. Coz thats how they do! You gotta have alot of life to waste when dealing with these ones. Tell him its over, done, finished and no chance to reconcile, and cut contact. (P.S he will want to repeat it back and be the one that appears to have "called it off" himself, like he's prob done 5 mill times before after a silly argument) The boy's who cry wolf!Posted by Bottabingyeah, still in the making of escape plan X_xPosted by Confused_Posted by csdude55Well, I will be lucky if I get to the resolution point. I tried to bring this topic several times but it's been always taken as personal attack not as my perspective on a situation. It's just as if I'm only making unnecesary problems. I once started to distance myself after the first huge fight but he wanted so badly to get past through it so I gave in eventually and everything went back to "normal". And he didn't even acknowledge what went wrong, because it's a part of his character and not consciouss wrong doing towards me, and that's the biggest issue here, that's the way he is is the problem! And I would rather just leave than having to explain my decision because on one side I still like him dearly, we're compatible but this lack of honesty (real intimacy) he can't handle (from my experience, maybe he can but not with me) is killing me. After years of being together it's even harder. Because we can roll like that forever but it's not fun anymore. Ugh, I'm also afraid that for some reason, after speaking my whole thuth things can end up pretty bad...which I also don't look forward to. Yes' good points. It will be loosing a friend too :/
Be honest and sincere. Don't try to argue or point fingers, just explain why it's not working for you in a logical manner. Make your point while keeping your emotions completely in check, then walk away.
And make it VERY clear that there's no chance of reconciliation, and afterward enforce a strict no-contact rule until he's dating someone else. I just can't emphasize that enough, because if you don't he's going to think he still has a chance.
Think, how would you break up with Mr. Spock?
Leaving and letting someone "figure it out eventually" is childish and cruel, I don't care what signs are involved.
Leave sounds very abusive ... Manipulative ... Can't admit their part to the situation ? Leave ... His ego seems to be through the roof ... And I wouldn't say nothing about leaving .. The lack of respect on his part is the issue ... Bounce ... speaking your whole truth tends to get ugly ? In what way... Your truth is your truth... And if he has a problem something wrong ... And if blow out happens.sigh... Bounce hun..
click to expand
Posted by csdude55Unfortunately, but what you can do, I'm continuing this out of pity. What can come out of it when I leave- betrayal, at least or worse.... because of the connection that was so strong before. I can see him hating on me in silence..
Ignoring astrology for a second, I was in a relationship like this one in high school. She's a Sag, though, not a Virgo.
We were good friends for awhile, then started dating. We were OK for about 6 months, before I realized that I had lost my feelings for her and really wished we could just be friends again.
I told her this, but she begged, and cried, and begged, and cried, until I gave in.
A few months later, I told her again. She begged, and cried... I gave in.
This repeated for a little over a year. Until finally, the only way I could think to end it was to be very mean and cruel, and ended up yelling and screaming until she couldn't take it anymore. Later, she told me that she cried with her mom all night, and still wanted me back.
That was the worst thing I think I've ever done, but I was a kid and just couldn't think of another way.
Here we are 20-some years later, and she still hates me for it. I ran in to her a few months ago and tried to say hi... her husband remembered me and was friendly, but she acted like she didn't know who I was.
Point being, there might not be any way to go back to being friends. He might just be one of those people that you're going to have to break his heart, and he'll always hate you for it.
wow... that saggy girl, after 20 years still dwells on it, she took it rly bad... I'm sorry, that was unfortunate plus the age and lack of ideas what to do then... when really you don't want to hurt someone but be honest with yourself and them.
I still have little spark of hope that after some time, maybe months, me and him can meet again on a friendly terms..
lemme give you a template
I really like you but right now I'm ...............................................
I don't feel like I'm .......................with you and I don't want to lead you on.
you're an amazing person .............insert good quality............ you deserve someone who can give you more than I can right now, I don't feel I'm the best version of myself for you
that's a logical breakup, we like logic
I really like you but right now I'm ...............................................
I don't feel like I'm .......................with you and I don't want to lead you on.
you're an amazing person .............insert good quality............ you deserve someone who can give you more than I can right now, I don't feel I'm the best version of myself for you
that's a logical breakup, we like logic
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