When should I give up on this Virgo guy? (Page 2)

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I am so sorry you are feel like you want to give up.  Believe me I have/ am in your shoes.  Recognize that Virgos are very independent and like their space.  He keeps reaching out to you which shows he likes you and is interested.  There was a post you made about being out with friends and wanting him to come hang out with you and your friends.  He wanted you to come to his place because he wanted to be with you and only you not to have to share you with your friends. Virgos like those that can be relaxed and go with the flow.  Sounds like handball is a priority for him because he has invested so much time and energy.  In time once he has invested time and energy into your relationship and makes the step to commit then you will become a priority and if hes anything like my Virgo you will be blown way by his love and adoration.

Posted by Nancym

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I am so sorry you are feel like you want to give up.  Believe me I have/ am in your shoes.  Recognize that Virgos are very independent and like their space.  He keeps reaching out to you which shows he likes you and is interested.  There was a post you made about being out with friends and wanting him to come hang out with you and your friends.  He wanted you to come to his place because he wanted to be with you and only you not to have to share you with your friends. Virgos like those that can be relaxed and go with the flow.  Sounds like handball is a priority for him because he has invested so much time and energy.  In time once he has invested time and energy into your relationship and makes the step to commit then you will become a priority and if hes anything like my Virgo you will be blown way by his love and adoration.

click to expand

Thank you for replying. How do you deal with them? He is very very independent and so am I, it's just that sometimes you want that certain person at the end of the day,yiu know.

" He keeps reaching out to you which shows he likes you and is interested. "----I wish it's not just sex,you know.😢

"There was a post you made about being out with friends and wanting him to come hang out with you and your friends"--- yes,and his house is just a 5min walk from the venue. I know he has a hangover and not enough sleep,but a 5min walk is nothing if he really wanted to see me.

Handball is indeed a priority for him..I was just saddened that he chose that over me..maybe he is not even ready for a relationship. He is 30 and I am 33. He is French and I am Asian.

How does your Virgo guy behave and how did you overcome everything?

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

click to expand

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

click to expand

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

ha virgos

but he sounds like a dbag

click to expand

he did take good care of his daughters and he could fix anything. i am not joke he was great in the sex department.

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by LadyNeptune

Your overthinking. Go with the flow

@LadyNeptune

Yep,I am going withthe flow for months already hahaha I just wish I know what he wants 🤣

Ewww for months? Reading this it sounded like you had only gone on a few dates so far, early days.

@LadyNeptune

We are inseperable during the first stage,we always see eachother and he will always txt and ask where I was and always want to hangout (so clingy) and then suddenly on and off.

It is annoying really,he moves so slow and whenever we see eachother and his flat mate is there🤔that is the time that the flatmate talks for him...I do know he is insecure of his flatmate.

Last time when he came back from Bali,he hugged me like there was no tomorrow. I think when he is intouch with his emotions he tends to keep it inside. Then he cooked for me and we do things together,tidying stuff,washing dishes,cooking,watching series. Everything was perfect then suddenly hot and cold again. So I just let him be..

I can't always have the "hey how are you?" C

conversation everytime,there should be progress and he needs to man up.

Previously I always tell him how handsome and smart he is and he would just say,stop manipulating me. And this turned me off and I said,I don't manipulate,I appreciate people.

I don't know if I should give up,let him be or date other people....

click to expand

I've read this far on the thread so there may be more info in the other pages but it's your last line that caught my attention the most.

This is what I see so far:

He's been after you for years so I assume he has some level of interest in you.

You both spent a lot of time together initially and jumped into bed together very early potentially without knowing each other well and potentially without establishing what you are both looking for such as FWB, relationship etc.

He then declared he didn't want anything serious due to the uncertaintybof his work situation so he then pulled away and became hot and cold. I'm not sure in what order this happened so I'll assume it happened as I've written it.

Meanwhile, you were or are still on the dating site yet you say you want intimacy with this man. What is it you are looking for? Do you want a FWB or a relationship? You need yo be clear with what YOU want first.

This is a man who doesn't talk to you, doesn't contact you, doesn't pursue you, will go for long periods of time without contacting you at all, when you contact him he rarely replies and when he does contact you it seems to be mainly for sex. Plus this has been going on for months. Sounds like a catch!

He's told you he doesn't want a relationship. His behaviour over the last few months is showing you he doesn't want a relationship. I'd also add in that by you not being clear with what you want, wanting intimacy yet still on a dating site, accepting his behaviour, not setting boundaries - is also a bit 'hot and cold' or mixed signals.

To resolve this situation I would be clear with what you want. I would then ask him next time, in person, if anything has changed for him such as does he still only want Fwb or would he like something more. You should state what you're looking for. If, after that, he says he still only wants Fwb yet you want a relationship then I'm sorry but it's not a match. This is the point where he's only offering you a continuation of a Fwb contract yet you want the relationship/girlfriend contract. You have two choices: either sign the Fwb contract but by doing this you're missing out on guys who would be prepared to offer you the relationship/girlfriend contract in the hope that this Fwb contract will magically turn itself into a relstionship/girlfriend contact. The probability of this is very slim. That's your call. Alternatively, you can thank him for his time, say you're not a match, and then walk away. This will free you up to find someone who WILL match you.

Next time, check if the person matches what you want and then date them without jumping into bed with them, get to know them first.

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

click to expand

I second the virgo soft tongue! Lol

Posted by Nancym

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by FeelingGemini

You can check his planets (and yours, too) on astrodienst.com, they have all kinds of charts. All you need to do is enter the date and the time of birth.

What is your Sun, anyway?

Yes, they are very inconsistent, and they have tactics. Virgo is a feminine sign, that's why sometimes their behaviour in relationships resembles the one of a girl.

I'm shy, too, so I understand you. But my need to set the things right to know the truth was stronger, that's why I always kept myself around. When I'd back off, he'd come back, so it's the repetitive theme with Virgos.

First stage of getting to know each other, they are fine, cause their emotions are under control. Once they start to feel something for you, they back off; they try to analyze what happened and at the same time wait for your reaction to the change of pace. Complicated creatures, but gems.

We had a ldr, so I coudn't tell him anything to his face for a couple of years, so the start was really bumpy. I think that's what you asked me, sorry if I forgot to answer on all the questions.

Bottom line is that he likes you, he's interested in you. Show a bit of action, interest in his behaviour, they are very passive. His random text are his way of making sure you don"t forget on him.

Wish you all the best

I checked the site,his sun is Virgo, Moon is Capricorn, Mercury is Virgo,Venus Cancer,Mars Aries, what should I look at here?

Me I am a leo. What tactics?

"When I'd back off, he'd come back, so it's the repetitive theme with Virgos."----- this is very true. It gets tiring. The change of pace just went weird..coz I got used to him all clingy and sweet. Then suddenly,nothing. They are very very complicated creatures.

Oh, must be tough having ldr with a Virgo..

"Bottom line is that he likes you, he's interested in you."----you think? Wish this is true. I am interested in him but if I txt him and no response, I lose interest,then the spark dies down..like he doesn't even care,being passive is sad.

"His random text are his way of making sure you don"t forget on him."------ ohhhh but his inconsistencies will make me want to forget him haha

Thanks for the insights dear💞💓

Slowly understanding how complex a Vurgo guy is....

So, it seems he has a lot of earth in him, that's why he is passive. And he will always be like that, which, I must admit, bothers me to a point in my relationship, but I learnt to accept it and don't go mad over it. His mars is in Aries, which gives him a quality to fight for what he wants, maybe you didn't see his trait in him yet, but if you survive this long period of not knowing what he wants, you surely will.

But overall, with the earth planers and Venus in Cancer, he is passive and you will have to show the initiative in whatever you need or want from him.

I understand the inconsistency could make you forget him, but that's why I said depending how much you want him, how much you want to know him more, will determine the course of your relationship.

The tactics I explained; backing off to see how much you are interesting in moving forward. With his Venus in Cancer, it is evem more prominent; one step forward, two steps back, try to remember that.

Someone nicely said on here, Virgo men are all nice when they are not invested emotionally, they are open, you can talk to them about everything, etc, but once they realize their emotions are not under control (ie, they start to fall in love), they are a mess, and they behave erratically. In that period (which could be the ons you're in now) you'd need to be patient, don't take his inconsistencies as a sign of disinterest in you, and just try to assure him that he's the only one you like and want to be with.

At least, that's how I should have behaved, but I was too crazy so I called him on almost everything.

You don't want the mess that I had, so I give you the friendly advice on how to get to the safe place without losing too many nerves.

He likes you. Virgos wouldn't do anything they don't want to do or joke with you just for the sake of it. They value their time and choose who to be in contact with. Especially, him buying you a little present, remembering what you said, shows that he has you on hos mind. He would never do that, if he didn't like you, trust me.

I know you have a hard time now understanding him, I really do. I went through so much with mine, but they do have so much qualities that most people, not only men, but people in general, lack, that the hardship you go througn now, is worth goinh through. They are pure gems, you can rely on them for anything, they won't leave you in cold when the going gets tough. Of course, I'm talking about normal Virgos, not bastards, who you can find in any sign.

Wish you all the best

Quick update on my Virgo.



He suddenly txted me yesterday and asked how I was doing? He actually watched my WhatsApp story and we had a conversation because of that. He then updated me about his match for handball this coming weekend,him getting a wine cellar for their new flat,and he was all excited about it. I felt happy he suddenly updated me.

I then asked when he will cook again,and he said we can organize it. I said I wasn't feeling good and might have the fever and just told me to get some rest and that I should be in shape when we meet.

I also told him I would cook him my country's food next time. I even asked how his Piano skills are,he said it was still zero coz he is focusing on Guitar and Ukulele.

He then told me,I haven't shown him the movie that we talked about months ago. OMG!!!! Their memories are scary!!!! He can still remember that.. he didn't say the title but he said I will remember it hahaha he is funny in his own way..

They are slow, but they come around eventually. He is interested in you, and you being interested in cooking, culture and art makes you perfect in his eyes. He didn't say it yet, but that's what he thinks.

They are obsessed with all things classy and artistic, and you being a piano teacher (if memory serves me well) is like you jumped in front of all the other women without doing anything.

Their passivity in emotional life (cause they are quite vibrant and energetic in other areas of life), is something I learnt to accept, without going crazy.

It just happened over time; once I got to know him deeply, his character and the way he functions, I just put it down to something that is part of him, and learnt to love it even.

It's hard to not get the response in some acceptable period of time, but that's how they are. They ponder over it, are happy or unhappy with what you wrote and continue on. It is very selfish in a way, that's where we had the most of our quarrels of, but in time I saw it was useless to fight over that. Mostly for the reason it rarely happens now, since we are together, but also because it doesn't mean a disrespect from their part, just a bit of selfishness and a bit of not wanting you to lose the flame for them (by being enigmatic).

They are complicated, but respectful, caring, loyal and very interesting. When I put everything on scales, the qualities where much, much stronger than his flaws, and none of us is perfect, so..

Thank you for the nice words, I appreciate them, and hope that the two of you will make it. You are a nice and honest person, which I'm sure, he appreciate and which made him like you.

All the best 🙂

Ugh!!!  I am going through a similar situation with a Virgo guy.  I know in my heart that he loves me,  I can see it in his eyes and through his actions.  I have struggled with the hot/ cold although our situation is so drastically different regarding our relationship compared to others.  Yes, it's been frustrating with the texting and distance but with the help of others and yourself I am getting a clear insight into their way of thinking.  I am learning that no texting isn't a priority to him, in fact he's not a fan of social media and is technologically impaired.  He will sometimes reply right away or hours later but he has never ignored me.   He always fills me in on what hes doing with his day/week.  We don't chat everyday...  I actually just text him unaware of his day and he replied right away.  We exchanged a few messages only for him to inform me he's at a celebration of life.  LOL...The one time I figure he would wait till later to message me. Yes, they are complicated and although we are going through a major hurdle in our relationship I am patient to wait as I Love him so!  Time and patience I think is key with Virgo

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LDR is a hardship on its own; being in a LDR with a Virgo is double the hardship. They are much more relaxed when they can see you and touch you. It's only normal, of course, it should be easier for anyone of us, regardless of the sign. But Virgos, being insecure emotionally, can create a lot of mess in a LDR with their inconsistent, erratic behaviour and silences that they are very good at. The sooner you manage to be together, the better.

Wish you all the luck!

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I couldn't follow evrything on this thread, so I'm sorry if I jump in like an alien now.

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.

Emotional life, since it depends on emotions (something uncontrollable), and on the emotions of other person (even more uncontrollable and impossible to have a full understanding and grasp of) makes them put it in the different category to that one of work. It's not a lower category or anything like that, it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout. On the other hand, the ones who can suffer for ages in silence are Virgos. When they are left, all their world comes crumbliing down. I guess it's because they alway try to rationalize the emotions, keep a lot to themselves, so when they lose a person whom they have all those emotions for, it seems like the pipe suddenly opens, the emotions come as an avalanche and leave them paralyzed for a long time.

I'm sorry I went a bit out of the frame of the conversation, I really hope that you managed to solve a problem with yout Virgo.

P.s. I think you asked me when we officially started our relationship; where I come from we don't have those exclusive or fwb types of relationship...we started chatting and if we didn't like each other, it would be known very soon, we would have stopped our conversation. But we liked each other and in the beginning it was obvious that we are serious people with serious intentions. But he did say that he started to feel something more for me after 6 months of our conversation. Hope that helps.

All the best!

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

This happened because you are NOT a priority to him.

He's flying out to Australia yet the day before he'd rather be with his buddies playing handball. He didn't even make a compromise to suggest you come and watch him then go for a bite to eat afterwards or to join him down the pub for a drink after just so at least he could see you.

These are signs of a man who is just not that into you. Certainly not in the way you want him to be.

You said you will just accept his passivity but hoe is that going to work out for you. You sound like you would prefer a less passive man. Let's say he wakes up tomorrow and declares his undying love for you and wants to spend the next 50 years with you. How's that passivity going to work out for you for the long term? Probably not well.

It sounds like you are in danger of taking every bread crumb this guy throws as you and thinking it's gold. It is not gold. It is shit. He barely has to throw you one text message and you pee your pants with total excitement. If he offers you a little more than a text such as two texts then you place him on your throne, crown him 'King', bow down to him and all is forgotten.

This guy doesn't need to offer you much at all. He already has you. This isn't really Virgo related. It is man related.

Im sure he's a very busy man but even busy people make time for the people or things that are important to them. If he's not making you a priority after all these months then stop letting him put his dick in you and move on.

Posted by greylatern

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

That is a straight cintroling douchebag. The only Virgo thing he was doing was the negative nitpicking to suppress you and that tongue in bed to keep you in check.

click to expand

true. i learned last year was he had a fear of being alone. thats why he was trying the change my mind about the divorce but when he realized i was not changing my mind he started to date and met a woman online they are now married. we just divorced in April lol

Posted by greylatern

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by greylatern

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

That is a straight cintroling douchebag. The only Virgo thing he was doing was the negative nitpicking to suppress you and that tongue in bed to keep you in check.

true. i learned last year was he had a fear of being alone. thats why he was trying the change my mind about the divorce but when he realized i was not changing my mind he started to date and met a woman online they are now married. we just divorced in April lol

Omg he moves fast. It maybe just wishful thinking on my part that he learned his lesson rather then repeat the same behavior but ya....

click to expand

yea i was almost fooled that he changed 😆 foolish ram i am

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

This happened because you are NOT a priority to him.

He's flying out to Australia yet the day before he'd rather be with his buddies playing handball. He didn't even make a compromise to suggest you come and watch him then go for a bite to eat afterwards or to join him down the pub for a drink after just so at least he could see you.

These are signs of a man who is just not that into you. Certainly not in the way you want him to be.

You said you will just accept his passivity but hoe is that going to work out for you. You sound like you would prefer a less passive man. Let's say he wakes up tomorrow and declares his undying love for you and wants to spend the next 50 years with you. How's that passivity going to work out for you for the long term? Probably not well.

It sounds like you are in danger of taking every bread crumb this guy throws as you and thinking it's gold. It is not gold. It is shit. He barely has to throw you one text message and you pee your pants with total excitement. If he offers you a little more than a text such as two texts then you place him on your throne, crown him 'King', bow down to him and all is forgotten.

This guy doesn't need to offer you much at all. He already has you. This isn't really Virgo related. It is man related.

Im sure he's a very busy man but even busy people make time for the people or things that are important to them. If he's not making you a priority after all these months then stop letting him put his dick in you and move on.

click to expand

Yeah, you are right. I actually got angry pissed when he still attended the training. They just won over the weekend,he can skip one training without dying.

I don't really put him in a thrown when he texts,and I am slowly rejecting him when he asks to meet up. I am just a coward when it comes to emotional confrontation. I rpefer ghosting or just walking away.

"If he's not making you a priority after all these months then stop letting him put his dick in you and move on. "----- yeah,I will start to. Thank you for your honesty and insight. I really appreciate it.

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by LadyNeptune

Your overthinking. Go with the flow

@LadyNeptune

Yep,I am going withthe flow for months already hahaha I just wish I know what he wants 🤣

Ewww for months? Reading this it sounded like you had only gone on a few dates so far, early days.

@LadyNeptune

We are inseperable during the first stage,we always see eachother and he will always txt and ask where I was and always want to hangout (so clingy) and then suddenly on and off.

It is annoying really,he moves so slow and whenever we see eachother and his flat mate is there🤔that is the time that the flatmate talks for him...I do know he is insecure of his flatmate.

Last time when he came back from Bali,he hugged me like there was no tomorrow. I think when he is intouch with his emotions he tends to keep it inside. Then he cooked for me and we do things together,tidying stuff,washing dishes,cooking,watching series. Everything was perfect then suddenly hot and cold again. So I just let him be..

I can't always have the "hey how are you?" C

conversation everytime,there should be progress and he needs to man up.

Previously I always tell him how handsome and smart he is and he would just say,stop manipulating me. And this turned me off and I said,I don't manipulate,I appreciate people.

I don't know if I should give up,let him be or date other people....

I've read this far on the thread so there may be more info in the other pages but it's your last line that caught my attention the most.

This is what I see so far:

He's been after you for years so I assume he has some level of interest in you.

You both spent a lot of time together initially and jumped into bed together very early potentially without knowing each other well and potentially without establishing what you are both looking for such as FWB, relationship etc.

He then declared he didn't want anything serious due to the uncertaintybof his work situation so he then pulled away and became hot and cold. I'm not sure in what order this happened so I'll assume it happened as I've written it.

Meanwhile, you were or are still on the dating site yet you say you want intimacy with this man. What is it you are looking for? Do you want a FWB or a relationship? You need yo be clear with what YOU want first.

This is a man who doesn't talk to you, doesn't contact you, doesn't pursue you, will go for long periods of time without contacting you at all, when you contact him he rarely replies and when he does contact you it seems to be mainly for sex. Plus this has been going on for months. Sounds like a catch!

He's told you he doesn't want a relationship. His behaviour over the last few months is showing you he doesn't want a relationship. I'd also add in that by you not being clear with what you want, wanting intimacy yet still on a dating site, accepting his behaviour, not setting boundaries - is also a bit 'hot and cold' or mixed signals.

To resolve this situation I would be clear with what you want. I would then ask him next time, in person, if anything has changed for him such as does he still only want Fwb or would he like something more. You should state what you're looking for. If, after that, he says he still only wants Fwb yet you want a relationship then I'm sorry but it's not a match. This is the point where he's only offering you a continuation of a Fwb contract yet you want the relationship/girlfriend contract. You have two choices: either sign the Fwb contract but by doing this you're missing out on guys who would be prepared to offer you the relationship/girlfriend contract in the hope that this Fwb contract will magically turn itself into a relstionship/girlfriend contact. The probability of this is very slim. That's your call. Alternatively, you can thank him for his time, say you're not a match, and then walk away. This will free you up to find someone who WILL match you.

Next time, check if the person matches what you want and then date them without jumping into bed with them, get to know them first.

click to expand

Ugh I so wanted to do this but am just a coward with emotional confrontations. Like how do I do it? What if I didn't like the answer? Will I cry and be sad? What if I liked the answer? I've never done it yet in person.

Last time I did this was thru txt with another person.



Can I just walk away and ghost him? Not reply to his txts? Will he get the hint?

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

click to expand

Oh dear,sorry to hear this

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Run run as fast as you can.

sorry had a bad virgo ex thing. a bad 30 years

30 years together?!

yes met at 17 married at 18 and divorced this past april

i'm sorry 😢

..but i still believe in the virgo/aries connection though

if you don't mind my curiosity, what would you say went wrong? like a top complaint you have about virgos?

he could not go one day with out criticize something. he bitched a lot about everything. he also broke every promise he made to me. the sex was really great though. they are very attentive in the bedroom hehe. it was the only time he let me be me. any other time was me, man his tongue was as soft as silk but as sharp as a blade. he would also with hold affection as punishment if he didnt like what i was doing like college, because i was not home with him. he even did it when it came to small stuff. sorry there is a lot here

Oh dear,sorry to hear this

click to expand

its all good. thank you

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by LadyNeptune

Your overthinking. Go with the flow

@LadyNeptune

Yep,I am going withthe flow for months already hahaha I just wish I know what he wants 🤣

Ewww for months? Reading this it sounded like you had only gone on a few dates so far, early days.

@LadyNeptune

We are inseperable during the first stage,we always see eachother and he will always txt and ask where I was and always want to hangout (so clingy) and then suddenly on and off.

It is annoying really,he moves so slow and whenever we see eachother and his flat mate is there🤔that is the time that the flatmate talks for him...I do know he is insecure of his flatmate.

Last time when he came back from Bali,he hugged me like there was no tomorrow. I think when he is intouch with his emotions he tends to keep it inside. Then he cooked for me and we do things together,tidying stuff,washing dishes,cooking,watching series. Everything was perfect then suddenly hot and cold again. So I just let him be..

I can't always have the "hey how are you?" C

conversation everytime,there should be progress and he needs to man up.

Previously I always tell him how handsome and smart he is and he would just say,stop manipulating me. And this turned me off and I said,I don't manipulate,I appreciate people.

I don't know if I should give up,let him be or date other people....

I've read this far on the thread so there may be more info in the other pages but it's your last line that caught my attention the most.

This is what I see so far:

He's been after you for years so I assume he has some level of interest in you.

You both spent a lot of time together initially and jumped into bed together very early potentially without knowing each other well and potentially without establishing what you are both looking for such as FWB, relationship etc.

He then declared he didn't want anything serious due to the uncertaintybof his work situation so he then pulled away and became hot and cold. I'm not sure in what order this happened so I'll assume it happened as I've written it.

Meanwhile, you were or are still on the dating site yet you say you want intimacy with this man. What is it you are looking for? Do you want a FWB or a relationship? You need yo be clear with what YOU want first.

This is a man who doesn't talk to you, doesn't contact you, doesn't pursue you, will go for long periods of time without contacting you at all, when you contact him he rarely replies and when he does contact you it seems to be mainly for sex. Plus this has been going on for months. Sounds like a catch!

He's told you he doesn't want a relationship. His behaviour over the last few months is showing you he doesn't want a relationship. I'd also add in that by you not being clear with what you want, wanting intimacy yet still on a dating site, accepting his behaviour, not setting boundaries - is also a bit 'hot and cold' or mixed signals.

To resolve this situation I would be clear with what you want. I would then ask him next time, in person, if anything has changed for him such as does he still only want Fwb or would he like something more. You should state what you're looking for. If, after that, he says he still only wants Fwb yet you want a relationship then I'm sorry but it's not a match. This is the point where he's only offering you a continuation of a Fwb contract yet you want the relationship/girlfriend contract. You have two choices: either sign the Fwb contract but by doing this you're missing out on guys who would be prepared to offer you the relationship/girlfriend contract in the hope that this Fwb contract will magically turn itself into a relstionship/girlfriend contact. The probability of this is very slim. That's your call. Alternatively, you can thank him for his time, say you're not a match, and then walk away. This will free you up to find someone who WILL match you.

Next time, check if the person matches what you want and then date them without jumping into bed with them, get to know them first.

Ugh I so wanted to do this but am just a coward with emotional confrontations. Like how do I do it? What if I didn't like the answer? Will I cry and be sad? What if I liked the answer? I've never done it yet in person.

Last time I did this was thru txt with another person.



Can I just walk away and ghost him? Not reply to his txts? Will he get the hint?

click to expand

It is up to you how you chose to handle things. I do think that once you are clear with what you want from life right now then you can see how and where this guy fits in to it. Maybe he does fit somewhere. Maybe he doesn't.

If you don't want anything with him then by all means just block his number and move on. Alternatively, next time he invites you over just reply with 'No thank you. I've enjoyed our time together but I don't want to continue seeing you as I'm looking for someone to have a relationship with.' or something like that. You don't need to get into a text war about it. Ghosting, in my view, is a bit harsh but in your case nobody owes each other anything. You're not in a relationship. It's a casual arrangement. One which you no longer wish to continue.

I'm always fascinated that people have no problems at all partaking in sex, one of the most intimate acts two people can do together, yet they won't state what they are looking for or ask the other person what they want. Bizarre!

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

This happened because you are NOT a priority to him.

He's flying out to Australia yet the day before he'd rather be with his buddies playing handball. He didn't even make a compromise to suggest you come and watch him then go for a bite to eat afterwards or to join him down the pub for a drink after just so at least he could see you.

These are signs of a man who is just not that into you. Certainly not in the way you want him to be.

You said you will just accept his passivity but hoe is that going to work out for you. You sound like you would prefer a less passive man. Let's say he wakes up tomorrow and declares his undying love for you and wants to spend the next 50 years with you. How's that passivity going to work out for you for the long term? Probably not well.

It sounds like you are in danger of taking every bread crumb this guy throws as you and thinking it's gold. It is not gold. It is shit. He barely has to throw you one text message and you pee your pants with total excitement. If he offers you a little more than a text such as two texts then you place him on your throne, crown him 'King', bow down to him and all is forgotten.

This guy doesn't need to offer you much at all. He already has you. This isn't really Virgo related. It is man related.

Im sure he's a very busy man but even busy people make time for the people or things that are important to them. If he's not making you a priority after all these months then stop letting him put his dick in you and move on.

Yeah, you are right. I actually got angry pissed when he still attended the training. They just won over the weekend,he can skip one training without dying.

I don't really put him in a thrown when he texts,and I am slowly rejecting him when he asks to meet up. I am just a coward when it comes to emotional confrontation. I rpefer ghosting or just walking away.

"If he's not making you a priority after all these months then stop letting him put his dick in you and move on. "----- yeah,I will start to. Thank you for your honesty and insight. I really appreciate it.

click to expand

You're welcome!

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I couldn't follow evrything on this thread, so I'm sorry if I jump in like an alien now.

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.

Emotional life, since it depends on emotions (something uncontrollable), and on the emotions of other person (even more uncontrollable and impossible to have a full understanding and grasp of) makes them put it in the different category to that one of work. It's not a lower category or anything like that, it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout. On the other hand, the ones who can suffer for ages in silence are Virgos. When they are left, all their world comes crumbliing down. I guess it's because they alway try to rationalize the emotions, keep a lot to themselves, so when they lose a person whom they have all those emotions for, it seems like the pipe suddenly opens, the emotions come as an avalanche and leave them paralyzed for a long time.

I'm sorry I went a bit out of the frame of the conversation, I really hope that you managed to solve a problem with yout Virgo.

P.s. I think you asked me when we officially started our relationship; where I come from we don't have those exclusive or fwb types of relationship...we started chatting and if we didn't like each other, it would be known very soon, we would have stopped our conversation. But we liked each other and in the beginning it was obvious that we are serious people with serious intentions. But he did say that he started to feel something more for me after 6 months of our conversation. Hope that helps.

All the best!

click to expand

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.---I think so to,but this is not work though,this is just a recreational game for him. And they just won their match during the weekend,so idk why he can't just miss this one training,also he is flying the next day..so idk..

"it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout."---- this is kind of true. There was this time when he was in Amsterdam and I asked how he was and I said I missed him and thar we should stop talking. And he took it seriously and said,maybe he should stop contacting me. Then I felt sad and said I was joking.

"keep a lot to themselves,"--- I think this is true since his flatmate is the one doing most of the sensible talking when all of us are together,he would be like-"Vincent have you told Marj about this and that...Vincent have you asked her to listen to this etc etc"-- and Vincent would just be there,quiet..quietly smiling.

Thanks for your insights and with how you dealt with your Virgo guy. It is inspiring to read your comments and advices that you really just want to work this out with me and my Virgo. Thank you for that. Seems like you really have a gem with you and all your patience was worth it. ❣️ I wish I can also be like that.

I'm just thinking of ghosting him out until he comes to his senses.(if ever he does)

I have to prioritize me first and my sanity.

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I couldn't follow evrything on this thread, so I'm sorry if I jump in like an alien now.

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.

Emotional life, since it depends on emotions (something uncontrollable), and on the emotions of other person (even more uncontrollable and impossible to have a full understanding and grasp of) makes them put it in the different category to that one of work. It's not a lower category or anything like that, it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout. On the other hand, the ones who can suffer for ages in silence are Virgos. When they are left, all their world comes crumbliing down. I guess it's because they alway try to rationalize the emotions, keep a lot to themselves, so when they lose a person whom they have all those emotions for, it seems like the pipe suddenly opens, the emotions come as an avalanche and leave them paralyzed for a long time.

I'm sorry I went a bit out of the frame of the conversation, I really hope that you managed to solve a problem with yout Virgo.

P.s. I think you asked me when we officially started our relationship; where I come from we don't have those exclusive or fwb types of relationship...we started chatting and if we didn't like each other, it would be known very soon, we would have stopped our conversation. But we liked each other and in the beginning it was obvious that we are serious people with serious intentions. But he did say that he started to feel something more for me after 6 months of our conversation. Hope that helps.

All the best!

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.---I think so to,but this is not work though,this is just a recreational game for him. And they just won their match during the weekend,so idk why he can't just miss this one training,also he is flying the next day..so idk..

"it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout."---- this is kind of true. There was this time when he was in Amsterdam and I asked how he was and I said I missed him and thar we should stop talking. And he took it seriously and said,maybe he should stop contacting me. Then I felt sad and said I was joking.

"keep a lot to themselves,"--- I think this is true since his flatmate is the one doing most of the sensible talking when all of us are together,he would be like-"Vincent have you told Marj about this and that...Vincent have you asked her to listen to this etc etc"-- and Vincent would just be there,quiet..quietly smiling.

Thanks for your insights and with how you dealt with your Virgo guy. It is inspiring to read your comments and advices that you really just want to work this out with me and my Virgo. Thank you for that. Seems like you really have a gem with you and all your patience was worth it. ❣️ I wish I can also be like that.

I'm just thinking of ghosting him out until he comes to his senses.(if ever he does)

I have to prioritize me first and my sanity.

click to expand

Of course, you have to do what you feel like doing. They are a hard work and not everybody wants to put up with their insecurities.

I have Moon in Pisces, so I do have that victim trait in me, ie Im ready to put up with more than others.

If you are more fierce, straightforward, direct person, it will be really hard to understand his nonsenses.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you love, laughter and generally good feeling in a relationship, whoever you end up.with.

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I couldn't follow evrything on this thread, so I'm sorry if I jump in like an alien now.

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.

Emotional life, since it depends on emotions (something uncontrollable), and on the emotions of other person (even more uncontrollable and impossible to have a full understanding and grasp of) makes them put it in the different category to that one of work. It's not a lower category or anything like that, it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout. On the other hand, the ones who can suffer for ages in silence are Virgos. When they are left, all their world comes crumbliing down. I guess it's because they alway try to rationalize the emotions, keep a lot to themselves, so when they lose a person whom they have all those emotions for, it seems like the pipe suddenly opens, the emotions come as an avalanche and leave them paralyzed for a long time.

I'm sorry I went a bit out of the frame of the conversation, I really hope that you managed to solve a problem with yout Virgo.

P.s. I think you asked me when we officially started our relationship; where I come from we don't have those exclusive or fwb types of relationship...we started chatting and if we didn't like each other, it would be known very soon, we would have stopped our conversation. But we liked each other and in the beginning it was obvious that we are serious people with serious intentions. But he did say that he started to feel something more for me after 6 months of our conversation. Hope that helps.

All the best!

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.---I think so to,but this is not work though,this is just a recreational game for him. And they just won their match during the weekend,so idk why he can't just miss this one training,also he is flying the next day..so idk..

"it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout."---- this is kind of true. There was this time when he was in Amsterdam and I asked how he was and I said I missed him and thar we should stop talking. And he took it seriously and said,maybe he should stop contacting me. Then I felt sad and said I was joking.

"keep a lot to themselves,"--- I think this is true since his flatmate is the one doing most of the sensible talking when all of us are together,he would be like-"Vincent have you told Marj about this and that...Vincent have you asked her to listen to this etc etc"-- and Vincent would just be there,quiet..quietly smiling.

Thanks for your insights and with how you dealt with your Virgo guy. It is inspiring to read your comments and advices that you really just want to work this out with me and my Virgo. Thank you for that. Seems like you really have a gem with you and all your patience was worth it. ❣️ I wish I can also be like that.

I'm just thinking of ghosting him out until he comes to his senses.(if ever he does)

I have to prioritize me first and my sanity.

Of course, you have to do what you feel like doing. They are a hard work and not everybody wants to put up with their insecurities.

I have Moon in Pisces, so I do have that victim trait in me, ie Im ready to put up with more than others.

If you are more fierce, straightforward, direct person, it will be really hard to understand his nonsenses.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you love, laughter and generally good feeling in a relationship, whoever you end up.with.

click to expand

They are indeed hard work. Yesterday he suddenly txted out of nowhere (he is still in Australia),saying that he was in a hippy festival and then asking me how my day was. Then I said I was hungover but needed to work the next day(which is today) I asked for photos fromthe festival and he said he didn't bring his phone during the festival.

Then he said he was also drunk. I said I need to stop drinking,then he also said the same thing and surprisingly said:"do you want to make a healthy meal at my place on Tuesday?" I asked if he was cooking and he said he can cook. He then told me his flight details and said that hopefully there is time for him to buy stuff for cooking,if not then he will just improvise. I said I want to see him cook abd he said we can cook together.

This is a first from him,he is not like this last time--us cooking together. I find it sweet and him slowly opening up.

But I plan to just cook and have dinner and not stay for the night.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by FeelingGemini

Posted by Marjdc

And so we were supposed to have dinner last night to celebrate their winning the handball tournament over the weekend. He said he will update me coz they might have handball training and he will be flying to Australia the next day for 6days.

He txted me later that day and said that their handball training is not cancelled. I felt pissed,like hello,you guys just won the tournament and you are flying the next day,you can cancel handball training so we can have dinner.

Ofcourse I didn't say this,I just replied,"ok,enjoy!"

Obviously I am not his priority. I give up!

I couldn't follow evrything on this thread, so I'm sorry if I jump in like an alien now.

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.

Emotional life, since it depends on emotions (something uncontrollable), and on the emotions of other person (even more uncontrollable and impossible to have a full understanding and grasp of) makes them put it in the different category to that one of work. It's not a lower category or anything like that, it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout. On the other hand, the ones who can suffer for ages in silence are Virgos. When they are left, all their world comes crumbliing down. I guess it's because they alway try to rationalize the emotions, keep a lot to themselves, so when they lose a person whom they have all those emotions for, it seems like the pipe suddenly opens, the emotions come as an avalanche and leave them paralyzed for a long time.

I'm sorry I went a bit out of the frame of the conversation, I really hope that you managed to solve a problem with yout Virgo.

P.s. I think you asked me when we officially started our relationship; where I come from we don't have those exclusive or fwb types of relationship...we started chatting and if we didn't like each other, it would be known very soon, we would have stopped our conversation. But we liked each other and in the beginning it was obvious that we are serious people with serious intentions. But he did say that he started to feel something more for me after 6 months of our conversation. Hope that helps.

All the best!

Work is a priority to them. That's where they feel they have a total control and can be perfect.---I think so to,but this is not work though,this is just a recreational game for him. And they just won their match during the weekend,so idk why he can't just miss this one training,also he is flying the next day..so idk..

"it's just that factor of uncertainty that makes them always on a tiny, well disguised lookout."---- this is kind of true. There was this time when he was in Amsterdam and I asked how he was and I said I missed him and thar we should stop talking. And he took it seriously and said,maybe he should stop contacting me. Then I felt sad and said I was joking.

"keep a lot to themselves,"--- I think this is true since his flatmate is the one doing most of the sensible talking when all of us are together,he would be like-"Vincent have you told Marj about this and that...Vincent have you asked her to listen to this etc etc"-- and Vincent would just be there,quiet..quietly smiling.

Thanks for your insights and with how you dealt with your Virgo guy. It is inspiring to read your comments and advices that you really just want to work this out with me and my Virgo. Thank you for that. Seems like you really have a gem with you and all your patience was worth it. ❣️ I wish I can also be like that.

I'm just thinking of ghosting him out until he comes to his senses.(if ever he does)

I have to prioritize me first and my sanity.

Of course, you have to do what you feel like doing. They are a hard work and not everybody wants to put up with their insecurities.

I have Moon in Pisces, so I do have that victim trait in me, ie Im ready to put up with more than others.

If you are more fierce, straightforward, direct person, it will be really hard to understand his nonsenses.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you love, laughter and generally good feeling in a relationship, whoever you end up.with.

They are indeed hard work. Yesterday he suddenly txted out of nowhere (he is still in Australia),saying that he was in a hippy festival and then asking me how my day was. Then I said I was hungover but needed to work the next day(which is today) I asked for photos fromthe festival and he said he didn't bring his phone during the festival.

Then he said he was also drunk. I said I need to stop drinking,then he also said the same thing and surprisingly said:"do you want to make a healthy meal at my place on Tuesday?" I asked if he was cooking and he said he can cook. He then told me his flight details and said that hopefully there is time for him to buy stuff for cooking,if not then he will just improvise. I said I want to see him cook abd he said we can cook together.

This is a first from him,he is not like this last time--us cooking together. I find it sweet and him slowly opening up.

But I plan to just cook and have dinner and not stay for the night.

why don't you get the groceries, you seem so selfish

omg

click to expand

I did ask him that,so I am not selfish. I told him I can help him buy stuff but he said,we will see. So I think he is still going to figure out what we will be cooking. He lands at 6pm and I finish work at 8pm plus travel time to his place is like an hour 😢

So we met last night. He immediately txted me when his flight landed. Then he asked what time I will be there. Then I asked how was the flight and if he was tired then he can rest first. He insisted that he can still cook and will see me later after my work.

After a few hours he said it might be too late to cook and that he will just order and that we can cook together next time. So I went there and we had dinner and played card games with his flatmate. My Virgo guy was suddenly very touchy and sweet. He would caress my neck and legs,he wasn't like this before,and even more,his flatmate was there.

After dinner I gave him some gifts to celebrate their winning the hand ball match last weekend. He was surprised and happy and can't stop kissing me.

The morning after,he showed me his guitar skills and I played and taught him some piano.

While walking to the bus stop, I was thinking if I should ask him about us and what we are doing but just don't want to ruin the day and the good night last night :/

I can feel he has feelings for me.. maybe he is just also shy about it...

Posted by Marjdc

Met online,everything went well,he was so clingy. Then he assumed I was still active on the dating app and said he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often. He then did some sweet things and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant. He went on a holiday back to his country and I just let it be. He then sends me chess match online,he loves chess. He came back and then planning to stay longer.

When he wants to talk,he makes up this "random small talk" which will lead to "I will explain to you when we meet" Last time he randomly sent a video of a guy playing piano (He knows I'm a music teacher) I thought it was him playing,but it was his flatmate. Why did he even send a video?? We met up recently and it was so relaxed and really nice. Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?

He couldn't be more straight forward.... "he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often."

Seems like he really likes you but, the point remains the same... he out-of-pocket alot cause he travels often.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Marjdc

Met online,everything went well,he was so clingy. Then he assumed I was still active on the dating app and said he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often. He then did some sweet things and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant. He went on a holiday back to his country and I just let it be. He then sends me chess match online,he loves chess. He came back and then planning to stay longer.

When he wants to talk,he makes up this "random small talk" which will lead to "I will explain to you when we meet" Last time he randomly sent a video of a guy playing piano (He knows I'm a music teacher) I thought it was him playing,but it was his flatmate. Why did he even send a video?? We met up recently and it was so relaxed and really nice. Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?

He couldn't be more straight forward.... "he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often."

Seems like he really likes you but, the point remains the same... he out-of-pocket alot cause he travels often.

click to expand

Yep,but now it is a bit different because they moved to a new flat and he said they will most likely stay longer here. He still goes on business trips for a day or a week.

. yesterday he came back from Brisbane and he met up with me and had dinner. It is a big thing because I was the first one that came to his mind that he will see after his trips

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Marjdc

Met online,everything went well,he was so clingy. Then he assumed I was still active on the dating app and said he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often. He then did some sweet things and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant. He went on a holiday back to his country and I just let it be. He then sends me chess match online,he loves chess. He came back and then planning to stay longer.

When he wants to talk,he makes up this "random small talk" which will lead to "I will explain to you when we meet" Last time he randomly sent a video of a guy playing piano (He knows I'm a music teacher) I thought it was him playing,but it was his flatmate. Why did he even send a video?? We met up recently and it was so relaxed and really nice. Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?

He couldn't be more straight forward.... "he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often."

Seems like he really likes you but, the point remains the same... he out-of-pocket alot cause he travels often.

Yep,but now it is a bit different because they moved to a new flat and he said they will most likely stay longer here. He still goes on business trips for a day or a week.

. yesterday he came back from Brisbane and he met up with me and had dinner. It is a big thing because I was the first one that came to his mind that he will see after his trips

click to expand

What's really "a bit different" make? "A bit?"

C'mon. You seem to have the problem with the traveling:

"...and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant."

"...Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?"

It's like you thought he was playing when he told you that he travels alot. It' like you completely ignored it and decided to call it "disappearng." I guess you see now.

So, you have to decide if you are okay with dating like this. I, personally, would be fine and would just ask that he bring me a souvenir from each location as a token of his affection.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Marjdc

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Marjdc

Met online,everything went well,he was so clingy. Then he assumed I was still active on the dating app and said he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often. He then did some sweet things and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant. He went on a holiday back to his country and I just let it be. He then sends me chess match online,he loves chess. He came back and then planning to stay longer.

When he wants to talk,he makes up this "random small talk" which will lead to "I will explain to you when we meet" Last time he randomly sent a video of a guy playing piano (He knows I'm a music teacher) I thought it was him playing,but it was his flatmate. Why did he even send a video?? We met up recently and it was so relaxed and really nice. Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?

He couldn't be more straight forward.... "he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often."

Seems like he really likes you but, the point remains the same... he out-of-pocket alot cause he travels often.

Yep,but now it is a bit different because they moved to a new flat and he said they will most likely stay longer here. He still goes on business trips for a day or a week.

. yesterday he came back from Brisbane and he met up with me and had dinner. It is a big thing because I was the first one that came to his mind that he will see after his trips

What's really "a bit different" make? "A bit?"

C'mon. You seem to have the problem with the traveling:

"...and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant."

"...Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?"

It's like you thought he was playing when he told you that he travels alot. It' like you completely ignored it and decided to call it "disappearng." I guess you see now.

So, you have to decide if you are okay with dating like this. I, personally, would be fine and would just ask that he bring me a souvenir from each location as a token of his affection.

click to expand

Thanks for your insights 🙂



Actually I don't have any problem with his traveling. The disappearing is meant for his consistency of communication. One time he is here and very clingy and then the next he is nowhere. No txt,nothing.

I am ok with this as long as his communication is on point. But at the moment my feelings are slowly deteriorating coz of his inconsistencies.

I did ask him to bring me something from Amsterdam last time and he did. But I can't always ask him to bring something,he has to be thoughtful.

Posted by TodaysRap

Posted by Marjdc

Met online,everything went well,he was so clingy. Then he assumed I was still active on the dating app and said he wasn't looking for something serious coz he travels often. He then did some sweet things and then disappeared. Appeared again but a bit distant. He went on a holiday back to his country and I just let it be. He then sends me chess match online,he loves chess. He came back and then planning to stay longer.

When he wants to talk,he makes up this "random small talk" which will lead to "I will explain to you when we meet" Last time he randomly sent a video of a guy playing piano (He knows I'm a music teacher) I thought it was him playing,but it was his flatmate. Why did he even send a video?? We met up recently and it was so relaxed and really nice. Then I don't hear from him again. Is it just sex? When should I give up?

You know.. I went to a place where everything went smoother than ever, however there are many apts being considered therefore.. Wait.

click to expand

—??

And so he texted me out of nowhere,asking how my day was. Then I asked if he wants to cook and he said sure. Then he also asked if I want to cook,and I said I can cook if he is willing to wait coz am still at work. Di he waited😗I cooked and we had dinner. After dinner we were just lounging and he he became touchy and sweet,we talked about anything and it was just fun. Then we went downstairs and watched some series while his legs were hugging me.

I can still feel he is a bit aloof but slowly improving.

But usually after this kind of meetups,I don't hear from him for days...sigh