Pissie Pisces and I Should Have Known

My ex Pisces husband and I have been hanging out as friends - absolutely nothing romantic - I barf just thinking about it so no. He would like me to go on adventures with him - one thing we did well was travel together but first I wanted to make sure it was clear what the boundaries were and that I could actually stand to be around him for more than a few hours. Well he keeps trying to inch past the boundaries and totally fucking pissed me off last Saturday.

He drove us to a child's birthday party and it was 3 hours away. I left my bag in the car as I didn't need it. Halfway though the 4 hour party I asked him for the keys so I could go out, grab a cigar from my bag and smoke it in the parking lot and he refused to give me the keys because he insists I quit smoking and although I'm trying, I continue to remind him that it's none of his business and that I need to do this myself. He walked away and was trying to hide but I wasn't going after him. I was fuming about this and his control issues. It brought back so much in memories that I wanted to vomit.

Later on he hands me the keys as he saw how I was not speaking to him and kept moving away from him. when I returned he said he was sorry, and that he didn't realize how serious I was. I said that's bullshit and you made that choice and I am very upset at this. He said how long are you going to be mad and I said forever. We did speak on the way home but I do not plan to be talking to him again but I probably will speak on a limited basis. He can talk to his therapist about that shit. I'm fucking out!

I am still so yanked that he had the audacity to do that. I got so mad I wanted to just fucking leave but I couldn't since I didn't have my car. I wanted to just leave him there. Regardless that won't happen again. Basically because I just won't interact with him anymore.

I think you might be over reacting a bit, he's prob just trying to hold you accountable.

Then again I don't know enough of the past relationship and his behaviors. If it is a control ploy or him just trying not to enable.

Either way I'm sorry it got you upset, try to let it go...and just keep your distance

I cant believe the audacity of some dudes..... i can understand if there wasnt a history there. But there clearly is. Just not the best way to start things off again. I can relate with that axis acting like that after knowing how it makes you feel.

thanks to all

He has a rescuer personality which is what he said his therapist said he has and he thinks he's doing good and thinks he gets to use that as his excuse to say that I was crazy and that he wasn't guilty of wrongdoing - he used to refuse to pull over so I could get a cup of coffee when we were travelling long distances in the car. He would ask why I was eating certain things and do I really need the piece of cake - and he would do this in front of other people. If I spoke to him today he would say I am way out of proportion as to what happened and that he didn't mean any of it and that he already said he was sorry and that I was in the wrong.

passive aggressive, controlling, trying not to be an enabler which that shit does not fly with me - call it what you will - it's wrong and this was one of the things that was on the very long list of reasons I divorced him

silly me for giving in to his idea of being adventure buddies - well it sounded good at the time - oh he said he changed ...

Posted by tctaap

thanks to all

He has a rescuer personality which is what he said his therapist said he has and he thinks he's doing good and thinks he gets to use that as his excuse to say that I was crazy and that he wasn't guilty of wrongdoing - he used to refuse to pull over so I could get a cup of coffee when we were travelling long distances in the car. He would ask why I was eating certain things and do I really need the piece of cake - and he would do this in front of other people. If I spoke to him today he would say I am way out of proportion as to what happened and that he didn't mean any of it and that he already said he was sorry and that I was in the wrong.

passive aggressive, controlling, trying not to be an enabler which that shit does not fly with me - call it what you will - it's wrong and this was one of the things that was on the very long list of reasons I divorced him

silly me for giving in to his idea of being adventure buddies - well it sounded good at the time - oh he said he changed ...

you gave it a try. at least now you know you should always maintain independence and give yourself an escape route in any future dealings.

Exes suck 😢

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

Posted by jeane

Posted by tctaap

thanks to all

He has a rescuer personality which is what he said his therapist said he has and he thinks he's doing good and thinks he gets to use that as his excuse to say that I was crazy and that he wasn't guilty of wrongdoing - he used to refuse to pull over so I could get a cup of coffee when we were travelling long distances in the car. He would ask why I was eating certain things and do I really need the piece of cake - and he would do this in front of other people. If I spoke to him today he would say I am way out of proportion as to what happened and that he didn't mean any of it and that he already said he was sorry and that I was in the wrong.

passive aggressive, controlling, trying not to be an enabler which that shit does not fly with me - call it what you will - it's wrong and this was one of the things that was on the very long list of reasons I divorced him

silly me for giving in to his idea of being adventure buddies - well it sounded good at the time - oh he said he changed ...

you gave it a try. at least now you know you should always maintain independence and give yourself an escape route in any future dealings.

click to expand

Amen Sista !

Yeah you should've known.

I have a good friend that is a hot mess when it comes to travelling. After numerous car rides, trips including Vegas (that was the catalyst actually) I no longer stay in the car or same roof with her.

We can kick it but I need a clean escape route.

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

you mean you're a rescuer too ? omg how many of you are there out there

Posted by tctaap

My ex Pisces husband and I have been hanging out as friends - absolutely nothing romantic - I barf just thinking about it so no. He would like me to go on adventures with him - one thing we did well was travel together but first I wanted to make sure it was clear what the boundaries were and that I could actually stand to be around him for more than a few hours. Well he keeps trying to inch past the boundaries and totally fucking pissed me off last Saturday.

He drove us to a child's birthday party and it was 3 hours away. I left my bag in the car as I didn't need it. Halfway though the 4 hour party I asked him for the keys so I could go out, grab a cigar from my bag and smoke it in the parking lot and he refused to give me the keys because he insists I quit smoking and although I'm trying, I continue to remind him that it's none of his business and that I need to do this myself. He walked away and was trying to hide but I wasn't going after him. I was fuming about this and his control issues. It brought back so much in memories that I wanted to vomit.

Later on he hands me the keys as he saw how I was not speaking to him and kept moving away from him. when I returned he said he was sorry, and that he didn't realize how serious I was. I said that's bullshit and you made that choice and I am very upset at this. He said how long are you going to be mad and I said forever. We did speak on the way home but I do not plan to be talking to him again but I probably will speak on a limited basis. He can talk to his therapist about that shit. I'm fucking out!

I am still so yanked that he had the audacity to do that. I got so mad I wanted to just fucking leave but I couldn't since I didn't have my car. I wanted to just leave him there. Regardless that won't happen again. Basically because I just won't interact with him anymore.

It's amazing how intense and pervasive these little petty ploys can be. I bet when you were going through, no one understood. You did a great job describing it - execellent title too. I woulda dipped on his ass.

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

click to expand

have you done this to someone who didn't appreciate ?

I have been so very independent in my life ain't nobody tell me I can't do something - lord you might as well be holding a gun to my head because I take that as a type of threat - like I feel like I'm being held hostage and this person is not treating me as a human being and I see nothing but R E D which to a bull means Charge lol - and you are a bull ? lol I literally had to walk away from him before I took his head off ...

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by tctaap

My ex Pisces husband and I have been hanging out as friends - absolutely nothing romantic - I barf just thinking about it so no. He would like me to go on adventures with him - one thing we did well was travel together but first I wanted to make sure it was clear what the boundaries were and that I could actually stand to be around him for more than a few hours. Well he keeps trying to inch past the boundaries and totally fucking pissed me off last Saturday.

He drove us to a child's birthday party and it was 3 hours away. I left my bag in the car as I didn't need it. Halfway though the 4 hour party I asked him for the keys so I could go out, grab a cigar from my bag and smoke it in the parking lot and he refused to give me the keys because he insists I quit smoking and although I'm trying, I continue to remind him that it's none of his business and that I need to do this myself. He walked away and was trying to hide but I wasn't going after him. I was fuming about this and his control issues. It brought back so much in memories that I wanted to vomit.

Later on he hands me the keys as he saw how I was not speaking to him and kept moving away from him. when I returned he said he was sorry, and that he didn't realize how serious I was. I said that's bullshit and you made that choice and I am very upset at this. He said how long are you going to be mad and I said forever. We did speak on the way home but I do not plan to be talking to him again but I probably will speak on a limited basis. He can talk to his therapist about that shit. I'm fucking out!

I am still so yanked that he had the audacity to do that. I got so mad I wanted to just fucking leave but I couldn't since I didn't have my car. I wanted to just leave him there. Regardless that won't happen again. Basically because I just won't interact with him anymore.

It's amazing how intense and pervasive these little petty ploys can be. I bet when you were going through, no one understood. You did a great job describing it - execellent title too. I woulda dipped on his ass.

click to expand

yes thanks and you got that right - there are so many little things he did and trying to describe them is difficult because some people just do not understand - I think you have to have been there at some point in time to fully understand and some women have not been there

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by tctaap

My ex Pisces husband and I have been hanging out as friends - absolutely nothing romantic - I barf just thinking about it so no. He would like me to go on adventures with him - one thing we did well was travel together but first I wanted to make sure it was clear what the boundaries were and that I could actually stand to be around him for more than a few hours. Well he keeps trying to inch past the boundaries and totally fucking pissed me off last Saturday.

He drove us to a child's birthday party and it was 3 hours away. I left my bag in the car as I didn't need it. Halfway though the 4 hour party I asked him for the keys so I could go out, grab a cigar from my bag and smoke it in the parking lot and he refused to give me the keys because he insists I quit smoking and although I'm trying, I continue to remind him that it's none of his business and that I need to do this myself. He walked away and was trying to hide but I wasn't going after him. I was fuming about this and his control issues. It brought back so much in memories that I wanted to vomit.

Later on he hands me the keys as he saw how I was not speaking to him and kept moving away from him. when I returned he said he was sorry, and that he didn't realize how serious I was. I said that's bullshit and you made that choice and I am very upset at this. He said how long are you going to be mad and I said forever. We did speak on the way home but I do not plan to be talking to him again but I probably will speak on a limited basis. He can talk to his therapist about that shit. I'm fucking out!

I am still so yanked that he had the audacity to do that. I got so mad I wanted to just fucking leave but I couldn't since I didn't have my car. I wanted to just leave him there. Regardless that won't happen again. Basically because I just won't interact with him anymore.

It's amazing how intense and pervasive these little petty ploys can be. I bet when you were going through, no one understood. You did a great job describing it - execellent title too. I woulda dipped on his ass.

click to expand

yes if I coulda dipped I woulda

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

you mean you're a rescuer too ? omg how many of you are there out there

It's so weird because this is one of the major issues my Pisces and I used to have, and I had so much trouble explaining it to him or anyone, even a therapist. No one tells you how controlling a Pisces can be when they think they know best for you.

click to expand

Thank you and I could fucking hug you right now just for the understanding !

Posted by tctaap

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by tctaap

My ex Pisces husband and I have been hanging out as friends - absolutely nothing romantic - I barf just thinking about it so no. He would like me to go on adventures with him - one thing we did well was travel together but first I wanted to make sure it was clear what the boundaries were and that I could actually stand to be around him for more than a few hours. Well he keeps trying to inch past the boundaries and totally fucking pissed me off last Saturday.

He drove us to a child's birthday party and it was 3 hours away. I left my bag in the car as I didn't need it. Halfway though the 4 hour party I asked him for the keys so I could go out, grab a cigar from my bag and smoke it in the parking lot and he refused to give me the keys because he insists I quit smoking and although I'm trying, I continue to remind him that it's none of his business and that I need to do this myself. He walked away and was trying to hide but I wasn't going after him. I was fuming about this and his control issues. It brought back so much in memories that I wanted to vomit.

Later on he hands me the keys as he saw how I was not speaking to him and kept moving away from him. when I returned he said he was sorry, and that he didn't realize how serious I was. I said that's bullshit and you made that choice and I am very upset at this. He said how long are you going to be mad and I said forever. We did speak on the way home but I do not plan to be talking to him again but I probably will speak on a limited basis. He can talk to his therapist about that shit. I'm fucking out!

I am still so yanked that he had the audacity to do that. I got so mad I wanted to just fucking leave but I couldn't since I didn't have my car. I wanted to just leave him there. Regardless that won't happen again. Basically because I just won't interact with him anymore.

It's amazing how intense and pervasive these little petty ploys can be. I bet when you were going through, no one understood. You did a great job describing it - execellent title too. I woulda dipped on his ass.

yes thanks and you got that right - there are so many little things he did and trying to describe them is difficult because some people just do not understand - I think you have to have been there at some point in time to fully understand and some women have not been there

click to expand

Gurl, I get it. I can imagine.

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

you mean you're a rescuer too ? omg how many of you are there out there

It's so weird because this is one of the major issues my Pisces and I used to have, and I had so much trouble explaining it to him or anyone, even a therapist. No one tells you how controlling a Pisces can be when they think they know best for you.

click to expand

yep - forget about trying to explain to the male Pisces - I never had a female Pisces do this to me but perhaps because the dynamics were different - we weren't romantic - and yes, even some therapists just looked at me like I had 2 heads

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

have you done this to someone who didn't appreciate ?

I have been so very independent in my life ain't nobody tell me I can't do something - lord you might as well be holding a gun to my head because I take that as a type of threat - like I feel like I'm being held hostage and this person is not treating me as a human being and I see nothing but R E D which to a bull means Charge lol - and you are a bull ? lol I literally had to walk away from him before I took his head off ...

click to expand

Yes, I have a cap best friend who is a hot mess and honestly needs someone to Barre her from things for her own good

Especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Idk your situation, and I don't want to offend you, but what you typed there sounded similar to her when she is jonesing for cocaine and I locked her from her wallet or I refuse to give her a ride somewhere (she doesn't drive). It's more extreme than your situation, but what you wrote just sounded like an addict sentiment to I.

Also went through this with my ex who was a recovering heroin addict.

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Phantom_Dangus

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

you mean you're a rescuer too ? omg how many of you are there out there

It's so weird because this is one of the major issues my Pisces and I used to have, and I had so much trouble explaining it to him or anyone, even a therapist. No one tells you how controlling a Pisces can be when they think they know best for you.

yep - forget about trying to explain to the male Pisces - I never had a female Pisces do this to me but perhaps because the dynamics were different - we weren't romantic - and yes, even some therapists just looked at me like I had 2 heads

I understand how crazy-making it is. It's like how can someone who cares about trying to get me to stop smoking be abusive? Well, by attempting to take away your autonomy! That's how!

After an ultimatum and him going to therapy and me honestly losing hope, he finally had this epiphany that he had been keeping his thumb on me subconsciously but purposefully for years. The reasons for that are numerous and go back to his childhood and insecurities. It's really too bad your Pisces didn't figure that shit out before he lost you. He's likely transferring all the things he'd like to control about life and himself onto anyone who will allow him to do so.

click to expand

Yes, good stuff ! There seems to be a mountain of denial that he just doesn't see needs hiked - I could fill boatloads on an endless ocean. I never took it and that's what drove us apart. He couldn't take my mouth because it cut through all that bullshit and he would still try to deny it to a face that wasn't having it. I saw through it all just not soon enough. We had fun on our travels - great adventures but daily life sucked guano !

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

have you done this to someone who didn't appreciate ?

I have been so very independent in my life ain't nobody tell me I can't do something - lord you might as well be holding a gun to my head because I take that as a type of threat - like I feel like I'm being held hostage and this person is not treating me as a human being and I see nothing but R E D which to a bull means Charge lol - and you are a bull ? lol I literally had to walk away from him before I took his head off ...

Yes, I have a cap best friend who is a hot mess and honestly needs someone to Barre her from things for her own good

Especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Idk your situation, and I don't want to offend you, but what you typed there sounded similar to her when she is jonesing for cocaine and I locked her from her wallet or I refuse to give her a ride somewhere (she doesn't drive). It's more extreme than your situation, but what you wrote just sounded like an addict sentiment to I.

Also went through this with my ex who was a receiving heroin addict.

click to expand

I understand what you are saying but I'm not addicted to anything that hard. No drugs, no alcohol. Yes, cigars are not good for me but I've quit before by myself and he knows that I will when I get ready and make up my own mind to do it. He had no right to do that to me. If it doesn't bother your friend that you do that then all is well. This bothers me when he's done things in the past like this and he knows he shouldn't do it because it bothers me but he does it anyway. For me, because of our past, it was more about the control issue - although I was craving obviously or else I would not have wanted to leave the party for 10 minutes. If I need help I know where to find it and it's not going to be him.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

you mean you're a rescuer too ? omg how many of you are there out there

if i had someone who actually LISTENED to my suggestions

I'd be a very happy person

click to expand

lol good luck with that

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

have you done this to someone who didn't appreciate ?

I have been so very independent in my life ain't nobody tell me I can't do something - lord you might as well be holding a gun to my head because I take that as a type of threat - like I feel like I'm being held hostage and this person is not treating me as a human being and I see nothing but R E D which to a bull means Charge lol - and you are a bull ? lol I literally had to walk away from him before I took his head off ...

Yes, I have a cap best friend who is a hot mess and honestly needs someone to Barre her from things for her own good

Especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Idk your situation, and I don't want to offend you, but what you typed there sounded similar to her when she is jonesing for cocaine and I locked her from her wallet or I refuse to give her a ride somewhere (she doesn't drive). It's more extreme than your situation, but what you wrote just sounded like an addict sentiment to I.

Also went through this with my ex who was a receiving heroin addict.

I understand what you are saying but I'm not addicted to anything that hard. No drugs, no alcohol. Yes, cigars are not good for me but I've quit before by myself and he knows that I will when I get ready and make up my own mind to do it. He had no right to do that to me. If it doesn't bother your friend that you do that then all is well. This bothers me when he's done things in the past like this and he knows he shouldn't do it because it bothers me but he does it anyway. For me, because of our past, it was more about the control issue - although I was craving obviously or else I would not have wanted to leave the party for 10 minutes. If I need help I know where to find it and it's not going to be him.

click to expand

Yes, what I think the issue here is that you have history (a history of him being controlling and doing what HE THINKS is best for you), and the fact that he isn't in your life or close enough to make those decisions for you.

You set boundaries and he is crossing them, where in fact he isn't of significance in your life, and doesn't have the right to test you (a grown independent) as such. That's disrespect and that's where the issue lies

Reading the rest of your comments, I get why it bothered you so much. It floods back all the bad memories and horrors.

Hugs 🤗

It's not meant to help... It doesn't stop. There's always something. It's a psychological tic... control. It's a perverse lil psychological semi-hard-on.

And, It's hypocrisy at it's finest.

Fuck Pisces men!

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

have you done this to someone who didn't appreciate ?

I have been so very independent in my life ain't nobody tell me I can't do something - lord you might as well be holding a gun to my head because I take that as a type of threat - like I feel like I'm being held hostage and this person is not treating me as a human being and I see nothing but R E D which to a bull means Charge lol - and you are a bull ? lol I literally had to walk away from him before I took his head off ...

Yes, I have a cap best friend who is a hot mess and honestly needs someone to Barre her from things for her own good

Especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Idk your situation, and I don't want to offend you, but what you typed there sounded similar to her when she is jonesing for cocaine and I locked her from her wallet or I refuse to give her a ride somewhere (she doesn't drive). It's more extreme than your situation, but what you wrote just sounded like an addict sentiment to I.

Also went through this with my ex who was a receiving heroin addict.

I understand what you are saying but I'm not addicted to anything that hard. No drugs, no alcohol. Yes, cigars are not good for me but I've quit before by myself and he knows that I will when I get ready and make up my own mind to do it. He had no right to do that to me. If it doesn't bother your friend that you do that then all is well. This bothers me when he's done things in the past like this and he knows he shouldn't do it because it bothers me but he does it anyway. For me, because of our past, it was more about the control issue - although I was craving obviously or else I would not have wanted to leave the party for 10 minutes. If I need help I know where to find it and it's not going to be him.

Yes, what I think the issue here is that you have history (a history of him being controlling and doing what HE THINKS is best for you), and the fact that he isn't in your life or close enough to make those decisions for you.

You set boundaries and he is crossing them, where in fact he isn't of significance in your life, and doesn't have the right to test you (a grown independent) as such. That's disrespect and that's where the issue lies

Reading the rest of your comments, I get why it bothered you so much. It floods back all the bad memories and horrors.

Hugs 🤗

click to expand

yessssssssss and thank you

Posted by VenusAquarius

It's not meant to help... It doesn't stop. There's always something. It's a psychological tic... control. It's a perverse lil psychological semi-hard-on.

And, It's hypocrisy at it's finest.

yesssssssssssssssss and I can honestly say that I NEVER did that to him because that is not me - and believe me he had mroe issues than anyone I know - this is a personality tic thing like you said - he's just a big tick lol

yes - such a good word - there were things he did that literally made me sick to my stomach because they were so perverse but I will spare everyone the details including myself (shudders) ...

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Black-Mamba

I am your ex husband, i need to do better

Its just how some of us know to show we care

LOL

Same. Working on it though

have you done this to someone who didn't appreciate ?

I have been so very independent in my life ain't nobody tell me I can't do something - lord you might as well be holding a gun to my head because I take that as a type of threat - like I feel like I'm being held hostage and this person is not treating me as a human being and I see nothing but R E D which to a bull means Charge lol - and you are a bull ? lol I literally had to walk away from him before I took his head off ...

Yes, I have a cap best friend who is a hot mess and honestly needs someone to Barre her from things for her own good

Especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Idk your situation, and I don't want to offend you, but what you typed there sounded similar to her when she is jonesing for cocaine and I locked her from her wallet or I refuse to give her a ride somewhere (she doesn't drive). It's more extreme than your situation, but what you wrote just sounded like an addict sentiment to I.

Also went through this with my ex who was a receiving heroin addict.

I understand what you are saying but I'm not addicted to anything that hard. No drugs, no alcohol. Yes, cigars are not good for me but I've quit before by myself and he knows that I will when I get ready and make up my own mind to do it. He had no right to do that to me. If it doesn't bother your friend that you do that then all is well. This bothers me when he's done things in the past like this and he knows he shouldn't do it because it bothers me but he does it anyway. For me, because of our past, it was more about the control issue - although I was craving obviously or else I would not have wanted to leave the party for 10 minutes. If I need help I know where to find it and it's not going to be him.

I stay quiet when my sister eats cheese pizzas

i just keep mum - its wrong to harass a person when they're eating

but i will say things like "wow you lost weight, you look great"

click to expand

if she lost weight then why would it bother you what she is eating ?