Shy Taurus

Any other shy taurusses here? For the 20st time I am attending a party of my roommates, but each time I am just too overwhelmed by anxiety to react, I get stomach pain and I get a lump in my throat. I am fed up I am in a rut. I just retreated in my room, but this time I dont beat myself up I become aware of everyhing that contributes to my inability. I always internalize everything I go through so sharing is difficult. I think I need to force myself out of my shell, like the russian soldiers in WWII. The kgb officers were standing behind the formation with pistols at the ready, shooting everybody point blank in the head who didn`t charge forward right into the germans (us)

But I also dont think its a matter of overcoming shyness, I need to change all my ways, my life style . Taurusses rarely express their needs, their boundaries, what happens in their day to day life, I never go out. Clubs are completely overwhelming and tiring. I never tell my roommate that she never washes the dishes which is plain selfish.

I am asking myself how fire signs live, do they share everything they think? Is it because they overthink less, they just verbalize what pops in their head?

I had an aries gf her uplifting energy helped me come out of my shell. Is that the remedy for scared bookish people? Getting an aries or a leo girl? I am particularly fond of both of them, cause I can get childish and silly with aries I can talk smack to them they don`t mind, leo are fiery water people so they have lots of compassion and love, it is so fun to nurture them.

But at the same time I know I am a cunt, I never smile, I dismiss and shut out everybody. My mom was overbearing and cold, I have retreated in myself, remember Pink Floyd? I keep on adding bricks into my wall. So there is that. I dont think I have a concept of human socializing in my head as weird as it sounds. I am reading a little bit

evolutionary psychology, that helps.

Anyway, just venting, I feel so depleted. Enjoy your friday night out for me, I will catch up in a few years.

Okay, this is the second time I left the group, I watched some advice videos, I thought I can ask questions in order to redirect the attention outside, but I didnt, I guess the selftalk is too negative. They started playing a role playing game while I prepared sandwiches. A woman asked, is that guy playing too? Somebody else said, I dont believe so. So I am done for the evening. She didnt ask me directly, I feel so horrible.

Posted by Redbull

Yeah, a lot of times. But I noticed through the years I have extroverted...streaks lets say. I lived in the same city since I was a baby but a few years ago bought a house in another city about 100 miles or so away. Far enough to be a separate area but kind of "training wheels" in a way as far as a "new thing" and I noticed I was friendlier (the city was way smaller and the people did things like greeted each other more) just from the experience of being there. Now sold that place and back to the same city I left from and back to a similar attitude of really keeping to myself more. So I realized location has a lot to do with it. I try not to force anything these days and another thing...being in that small city helped me slow down and embrace not rushing...

Definetly. Iits also just habit. I heard people say the best way to become more social is to live in italia or the caribean where everybody is super warm and gregarious. Maybe I will find myself a latin or black social circle in munich, they are less detached.

Posted by poeticseraphim

Posted by xoxflute

Posted by Parkourler

I am asking myself how fire signs live, do they share everything they think? Is it because they overthink less, they just verbalize what pops in their head?

No, more often than not, it's probably that fire signs verbalize their needs, imo.

They do...they ignore the needs of others a lot though too.

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You just summarized years of friction I could never put my finger on. I always got this feeling of something is wrong. I never understood why I start resenting fire signs, leos excluded. They do that, except the leos. How can one talk so much and with so much authority and certainty if you barely reciprocate.

For the record, my roommates are not fire people, I cut the aries people out of my life.

Posted by MareInfame

Posted by Parkourler

For the record, my roommates are not fire people, I cut the aries people out of my life.

You cut them out, but still considering them back in? Sounds like love/hate.... and confusing.

You just said you would consider another Aries because your ex had the ability to make you more social. It sounds like there was something about her that was very meaningful to you.

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okay okay, I was just streamline journaling what i felt and thought in the moment, please forget everything I said about aries. I am thinking about my 10th time not being able to socialize for the 10th time.

Aww you forgave Aries I see.

Ask people about themselves. Engage them. Don’t think about you when you’re with other people. Ask about their day, something they’re wearing, any good movies they saw, any trips they took.

It's ok to be you. I have ADD so can't make sense of the above replies.

Just casually come and go and pass through these parties then no one will know you're uncomfortable.

Join a group or club or a society or even a Karate class so you can become familiar with the members. Eventually you will feel more comfortable and participate. Some career's will push you to interact more. Stop seeing every person you engage with as a potential mate or as if they have any more importance than you.

If these listed are a comfort zone for me, then I am still too shy and quite and closed off when not in a familiar situation. I spent most of my life struggling with this but I'm beginning to be okay with that.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by poeticseraphim

Posted by xoxflute

Posted by Parkourler

I am asking myself how fire signs live, do they share everything they think? Is it because they overthink less, they just verbalize what pops in their head?

No, more often than not, it's probably that fire signs verbalize their needs, imo.

They do...they ignore the needs of others a lot though too.

You just summarized years of friction I could never put my finger on. I always got this feeling of something is wrong. I never understood why I start resenting fire signs, leos excluded. They do that, except the leos. How can one talk so much and with so much authority and certainty if you barely reciprocate.

I'm a quiet bookish person. I probably do have that authority thing mixed with just appearing competent; I've been browsing in shops and people think I'm the manager. If I need someone to do something like the washing-up, I just say it and don't care about the consequences. What's the worst that will happen they sulk and throw a Barney. Bring it on, arguments are foreplay.

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I resonate both positively and negatively with some of what you said. I am a bookish stone faced german, we order like this: "I would like to have a beer, thanks". I dont know if that is common demeanor and communication style amony northern europeans (you are a brit right?)

or just reserved bookish people in general. Unfortunately people think we are cold or uppity. I dont feel cold or snobbish

at all inside.

Please tell me do you tell subordinated in your workplace to clean up or also your friends and family?

My aries ex did tell me to do something even though I politely said I dont like that. She either thought, its fun when I fight back or she can respect me now, either way its all good. After that, I would really ruin several hangouts with scenes and cruel pranks cause I knew that she would shrug off protest as sulking or part of the fun ., I wanted her to know, that there wont be any goodwill and going back to normal, only resentment,scorched earth to the point where we cant be in one room together. I wanted sincere apology, remorse and respect for my needs and boundaries but I never got it from her. We ignore each other when we cross paths.

Did you encounter something like that?

I felt like this as a teenager a lot, and sometimes in my early 20s...it sucks. Still I can be very shy depending on the context. I've gotten past it somewhat, but mainly due to having a comfortable social circle that's been built up over time, but I still don't like large crowds of people I don't know. I think part of it for me was my own personal laziness - by that I mean going to a social event with no plan or will to actually socialize. Can't think of a great analogy but its a bit like being in the middle of a crowded ice skating rink without skates - it just doesn't really make sense. There's a flow, a rhythm, everyone has a purpose there going in a direction, and of course you're going to feel out of place and stagnant if you aren't engaged in the same activity.

If you go to a party, I think you should genuinely have a desire to engage others. I've learned with age, that I actually am really interested in and curious about other people, and I like to socialize. If I'm not in the mood to do that, and I feel like I'll just be people-watching passively, I just stay home as I know that's a recipe for me eventually turning my focus inward, and starting to feel out of place.

Also, if you're introverted by nature, unfortunately that's a bit of a shitty situation to have roommates throwing a party. You basically have to engage or you're a hostage in your room. Feeling trapped only amplifies social anxiety. Maybe just chill for a bit, try to work the room a little, then if you don't feel connected at all, go out somewhere and do something you enjoy. I think you're only reinforcing feelings of inadequacy by isolating yourself in your room, while everyone is socializing at your place.

Oh and I want to thank mareinfame (I thought you are aries, so I expected some hard bluntness so your kind words are important to me) and everybody else for their kindness. I expected to be told to stop bitching. I feel envigorated, I know what I do wrong, I need to change many parts of my life style . I send an honest email to my family cause they want to spend 24th decembre in an indian restaurant, I dont want that at all, but they have very good reasons for that so I go along. Today I told my bossy leo coworker that I am happy to carry out the assignments given by the boss and the boss

is constantly nagging me, today I loudly protested because she rolled her eyes, which I didnt like at all. She stopped being

approachable and she constantly criticizes me, Ive had enough and I talked back. I will talk things out with her, I don`t want to feel like I am some annoying fly that needs to be squashed with a newspaper. She assigned me to the other super friendly libra boss. Love her to death. The rest of the day was fun.



Enough rambling, 2020 will be actionpacked filled with hilarity and aggressiveness, I will try stuff I have never done before,

like not boiling inside and let my frustrations out, I vow to get out of my head and start talking to people. My anxiety vanishes for very short moments, when I force myself to focus on others and not myself. So there is valid reason for hope.

Posted by Black-Mamba

How do you network and make money by being shy?

Being shy has nothing to do with making money and networking.

I'm about as shy as they come and I got my own business. I still know how to talk to clients professionally. And that's what my business stands for. Professionalism.

Put a loud mouth extrovert person in my position, shits more than likely to hit the fans when dealing with the kinds of aggravating people I have to deal with.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter

Posted by Black-Mamba

How do you network and make money by being shy?

Being shy has nothing to do with making money and networking.

I'm about as shy as they come and I got my own business. I still know how to talk to clients professionally. And that's what my business stands for. Professionalism.

Put a loud mouth extrovert person in my position, shits more than likely to hit the fans when dealing with the kinds of aggravating people I have to deal with.

not really like you said professionalism

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I don't understand this quote or this kind of talk. I'm an old farm boy.

My point is shy people can work just about anywhere and make just as much money as anybody else probably more.

Tho I'm thinking you just saying this to get at the op. Neither one of us are Taurus.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter

Posted by Black-Mamba

How do you network and make money by being shy?

Being shy has nothing to do with making money and networking.

I'm about as shy as they come and I got my own business. I still know how to talk to clients professionally. And that's what my business stands for. Professionalism.

Put a loud mouth extrovert person in my position, shits more than likely to hit the fans when dealing with the kinds of aggravating people I have to deal with.

not really like you said professionalism

I don't understand this quote or this kind of talk. I'm an old farm boy.

My point is shy people can work just about anywhere and make just as much money as anybody else probably more.

Tho I'm thinking you just saying this to get at the op. Neither one of us are Taurus.

My point is that even if a person is extrovert - professionalism still plays out.

simple

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Yeah yeah I know. I also see you got some of my astrological aspects on that other thread. So tell me how you feel sharing the same aspect with one of the most attractive man.

Not wanting to be around crowds isn’t a bad thing. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Different strokes for different folks.

As far as the roommate party thing, tell yourself one drink and then you say goodnight. Knowing there’s an end in sight may help your anxiety.