Is he in or out?

Been in a stable relationship (according to him) , but somehow I am extremely bothered by the fact that he will stop replying message immediately and then disappear (he does that to his parents as well though). At the start of the relationship , I will constantly emphasise on the importance of communication since we are in a Long distance relationship but it doesn’t seems to work . I cried once and said I had enough as we were on video call, I saw him tearing as well and said we can talk things out and he will change (but he didn’t anyway). I already came to term that he likes to go to his “cave” (as he kept emphasising he did not disappear).

I No longer kick a fuss when he disappear for 1-2 days. But this is the 2nd time he has fallen sick and disappeared for the 5th day. However, I don’t know if I should be the 1 to message him to show concern because I have been doing it for a few days and he hasn’t read any message or should I just stop messaging. I am ready to let go of this relationship but I need a closure instead of leaving things hanging as it is.

All of this trouble over a LONG distance relationship? If you truly want closure then find it for yourself. Time is valuable and thus dude of yours obviously doesn't value yours.

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

Posted by sweetpea2977

All of this trouble over a LONG distance relationship? If you truly want closure then find it for yourself. Time is valuable and thus dude of yours obviously doesn't value yours.

Precisely... that’s what I thought too .. I have found closure myself but i thought it might be better to end this properly instead of just walking off... I wish I could be like him but I feel that it’s a responsibility to start in proper and end in proper

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by sweetpea2977

All of this trouble over a LONG distance relationship? If you truly want closure then find it for yourself. Time is valuable and thus dude of yours obviously doesn't value yours.

Precisely... that’s what I thought too .. I have found closure myself but i thought it might be better to end this properly instead of just walking off... I wish I could be like him but I feel that it’s a responsibility to start in proper and end in proper

click to expand

I respect that. 💜

Posted by Sailor_Mars

tell him that it doesn't work for you, it's stressing you out, you would like this to work but it has to be two doing their parts. Since he cannot provide you with the things you need you are very brokenhearted but have to end things.

When we first started off , we have that conversation Everyday other week until I grew tired of it and went quiet when he behave like that . For short 1, over the weekend I eventually got use to it because I knew he would respond but this time it bothers me because it has been coming 1 week.

I told him exactly the same thing before and I even told him that if by sending a text he feel it’s to much or feel pressured to do it then we are obviously not suited for each other or he is not suited for a relationship. He say he is not pressured and he see a future in us.

Lol.... Nothing here from the OP about astro signs on dxpnet. All I read was long distance aka thirsty internet dating. WTF yeah dxpnet is going down hill.

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

Posted by LibraSupreme

Lol.... Nothing here from the OP about astro signs on dxpnet. All I read was long distance aka thirsty internet dating. WTF yeah dxpnet is going down hill.

Sorry I am new to this and do not know how it works and this is my first time sharing my problem. I thought I posted in the Capricorn forum and type in the problem and maybe someone will be able to guide me in this matter.

Posted by Koinu

I'll take the bait. Couldn't come up with a better user name?

I couldn’t think of any username as everything I thought of is already selected ：D

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

click to expand

Sometimes telling them to do something doesn't work. Make him feel as though he wants too...I've been in a familiar boat and it can take time xx

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

Sometimes telling them to do something doesn't work. Make him feel as though he wants too...I've been in a familiar boat and it can take time xx

click to expand

What do u think I should do? To come and think of it, it’s 7th day he is uncontactable.

Posted by Arielle83

Well you clearly don’t like him and need him to he something he isn’t.

I have to admit I don’t like him at a start . Maybe now that I am more serious into the relationship with all the factors around us pulling us together , I decided to give it a try. May he has been like this all the while but I was never bothered until now that I am putting effort in the relationship , I feel different when he behaves the same.

But by communicating on a daily basis (just a text a day) , I don’t know if it’s too much for him to handle to make him feel that he is being someone he is not.

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

Sometimes telling them to do something doesn't work. Make him feel as though he wants too...I've been in a familiar boat and it can take time xx

What do u think I should do? To come and think of it, it’s 7th day he is uncontactable.

click to expand

Just message him and say hi how are you and do you want to stay in touch. If no reply then you'll have to leave it. Just check he's ok and be cool. Not too much. Don't say anything of what you want just keep it short and sweet and ask how he is and should be keep in touch. Maybe say you've missed hearing from him.

Posted by Woshihuaren

Been in a stable relationship (according to him) , but somehow I am extremely bothered by the fact that he will stop replying message immediately and then disappear (he does that to his parents as well though). At the start of the relationship , I will constantly emphasise on the importance of communication since we are in a Long distance relationship but it doesn’t seems to work . I cried once and said I had enough as we were on video call, I saw him tearing as well and said we can talk things out and he will change (but he didn’t anyway). I already came to term that he likes to go to his “cave” (as he kept emphasising he did not disappear).

I No longer kick a fuss when he disappear for 1-2 days. But this is the 2nd time he has fallen sick and disappeared for the 5th day. However, I don’t know if I should be the 1 to message him to show concern because I have been doing it for a few days and he hasn’t read any message or should I just stop messaging. I am ready to let go of this relationship but I need a closure instead of leaving things hanging as it is.

Let it fade out.

It's a gentle way to end things. Just let it fade.

I don't force, negotiate, "discuss," with dudes like how you describe. I let them fade themselves.

I don't have the attention span for inconsistency.

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

click to expand

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

Sometimes telling them to do something doesn't work. Make him feel as though he wants too...I've been in a familiar boat and it can take time xx

What do u think I should do? To come and think of it, it’s 7th day he is uncontactable.

Just message him and say hi how are you and do you want to stay in touch. If no reply then you'll have to leave it. Just check he's ok and be cool. Not too much. Don't say anything of what you want just keep it short and sweet and ask how he is and should be keep in touch. Maybe say you've missed hearing from him.

click to expand

Alright ... I have just sent the first message .. just don’t understand why a man can behwve like that... it really puzzled me...

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Arielle83

Well you clearly don’t like him and need him to he something he isn’t.

I have to admit I don’t like him at a start . Maybe now that I am more serious into the relationship with all the factors around us pulling us together , I decided to give it a try. May he has been like this all the while but I was never bothered until now that I am putting effort in the relationship , I feel different when he behaves the same.

But by communicating on a daily basis (just a text a day) , I don’t know if it’s too much for him to handle to make him feel that he is being someone he is not.

He’s probably being someone he isn’t to avoid you reacting and guilt tripping him.

Sounds like you just care about what you need.

click to expand

I have been doing quite abit of self reflection this whole week wondering if I have done anything wrong so that I can apologise but I read through the messages.. the last message he sent was a question and he didn’t bother to read . I probably felt that I could have given him pressure from the beginning because I tend to test a person to their limit to see if they are worth it because I never felt that I have to be in a relationship and if I ever do , I need someone to compliment in my life like how I will compliment and support him in his life. I use to be able to only give in to someone stronger than me but this guy is an exception because my family likes him and also I know he is going through a hard time and I thought I should give him the confidence and support. Maybe my kind of love is too overwhelming for someone that is not ready or worthy in my opinion .

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

click to expand

Yes I will definitely be ready move on but my curiosity level is very high at the moment. However at times I wonder by asking him to send me a text a day is it too much? I will not settle if he is not the right person especially when my dad just passed away and his hot and cold behaviour has been a reason my emotions went spiral. He walked me through my lowest point (or so I thought) , but I didn’t realise he was also able to bring me even lower as well.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Woshihuaren

Been in a stable relationship (according to him) , but somehow I am extremely bothered by the fact that he will stop replying message immediately and then disappear (he does that to his parents as well though). At the start of the relationship , I will constantly emphasise on the importance of communication since we are in a Long distance relationship but it doesn’t seems to work . I cried once and said I had enough as we were on video call, I saw him tearing as well and said we can talk things out and he will change (but he didn’t anyway). I already came to term that he likes to go to his “cave” (as he kept emphasising he did not disappear).

I No longer kick a fuss when he disappear for 1-2 days. But this is the 2nd time he has fallen sick and disappeared for the 5th day. However, I don’t know if I should be the 1 to message him to show concern because I have been doing it for a few days and he hasn’t read any message or should I just stop messaging. I am ready to let go of this relationship but I need a closure instead of leaving things hanging as it is.

Let it fade out.

It's a gentle way to end things. Just let it fade.

I don't force, negotiate, "discuss," with dudes like how you describe. I let them fade themselves.

I don't have the attention span for inconsistency.

click to expand

I don’t have attention span for inconsistency too ! I do not have patience for that at all.

I am about to start work and I really have no time for this. I just felt like “just let me know if you are in or out because I am moving on, I need a closure . That’s it”

Just don’t understand why a man would behave like this at all. 1 day we were all good and next day he disappear in the midst of a conversation and poof he went missing for 1 week. Maybe I should just overcome my own thinking and tell myself that “not every has to have a proper closure” . It’s unlike me but maybe I just have to learn it.

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

Yes I will definitely be ready move on but my curiosity level is very high at the moment. However at times I wonder by asking him to send me a text a day is it too much? I will not settle if he is not the right person especially when my dad just passed away and his hot and cold behaviour has been a reason my emotions went spiral. He walked me through my lowest point (or so I thought) , but I didn’t realise he was also able to bring me even lower as well.

click to expand

I’m very sorry to hear about your father.

I’ll be honest. Some men don’t want to talk everyday. He is clearly one of those guys. Pressing him to do more is never going to work. Appreciating what time he does give you and accepting less talking time is the only way it can work. But I don’t think that’s what you want and need to feel secure in ur relationship with him.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

Yes I will definitely be ready move on but my curiosity level is very high at the moment. However at times I wonder by asking him to send me a text a day is it too much? I will not settle if he is not the right person especially when my dad just passed away and his hot and cold behaviour has been a reason my emotions went spiral. He walked me through my lowest point (or so I thought) , but I didn’t realise he was also able to bring me even lower as well.

I’m very sorry to hear about your father.

I’ll be honest. Some men don’t want to talk everyday. He is clearly one of those guys. Pressing him to do more is never going to work. Appreciating what time he does give you and accepting less talking time is the only way it can work. But I don’t think that’s what you want and need to feel secure in ur relationship with him.

click to expand

Maybe you are right .. I move on ..

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

Yes I will definitely be ready move on but my curiosity level is very high at the moment. However at times I wonder by asking him to send me a text a day is it too much? I will not settle if he is not the right person especially when my dad just passed away and his hot and cold behaviour has been a reason my emotions went spiral. He walked me through my lowest point (or so I thought) , but I didn’t realise he was also able to bring me even lower as well.

I’m very sorry to hear about your father.

I’ll be honest. Some men don’t want to talk everyday. He is clearly one of those guys. Pressing him to do more is never going to work. Appreciating what time he does give you and accepting less talking time is the only way it can work. But I don’t think that’s what you want and need to feel secure in ur relationship with him.

Maybe you are right .. I move on ..

click to expand

I know it’s hard to move on. I struggle with it too. But try to remember there’s lots of other guys to choose from and you will find someone new.

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

Sometimes telling them to do something doesn't work. Make him feel as though he wants too...I've been in a familiar boat and it can take time xx

What do u think I should do? To come and think of it, it’s 7th day he is uncontactable.

Just message him and say hi how are you and do you want to stay in touch. If no reply then you'll have to leave it. Just check he's ok and be cool. Not too much. Don't say anything of what you want just keep it short and sweet and ask how he is and should be keep in touch. Maybe say you've missed hearing from him.

Alright ... I have just sent the first message .. just don’t understand why a man can behwve like that... it really puzzled me...

click to expand

Let me know if he replies x

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Arielle83

Well you clearly don’t like him and need him to he something he isn’t.

I have to admit I don’t like him at a start . Maybe now that I am more serious into the relationship with all the factors around us pulling us together , I decided to give it a try. May he has been like this all the while but I was never bothered until now that I am putting effort in the relationship , I feel different when he behaves the same.

But by communicating on a daily basis (just a text a day) , I don’t know if it’s too much for him to handle to make him feel that he is being someone he is not.

He’s probably being someone he isn’t to avoid you reacting and guilt tripping him.

Sounds like you just care about what you need.

I have been doing quite abit of self reflection this whole week wondering if I have done anything wrong so that I can apologise but I read through the messages.. the last message he sent was a question and he didn’t bother to read . I probably felt that I could have given him pressure from the beginning because I tend to test a person to their limit to see if they are worth it because I never felt that I have to be in a relationship and if I ever do , I need someone to compliment in my life like how I will compliment and support him in his life. I use to be able to only give in to someone stronger than me but this guy is an exception because my family likes him and also I know he is going through a hard time and I thought I should give him the confidence and support. Maybe my kind of love is too overwhelming for someone that is not ready or worthy in my opinion .

Sounds like you see him as beneath you, and you consider yourself a prize that should be wanted.

I guess this is your moment to learn to humble yourself.

click to expand

That was me in the past but ever since I dated him, I became humble and I let him be the dominating 1 in the relationship so I take a back seat but as time past, he start to became more at himself because he probably felt I was ok with it..

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

Yes I will definitely be ready move on but my curiosity level is very high at the moment. However at times I wonder by asking him to send me a text a day is it too much? I will not settle if he is not the right person especially when my dad just passed away and his hot and cold behaviour has been a reason my emotions went spiral. He walked me through my lowest point (or so I thought) , but I didn’t realise he was also able to bring me even lower as well.

I’m very sorry to hear about your father.

I’ll be honest. Some men don’t want to talk everyday. He is clearly one of those guys. Pressing him to do more is never going to work. Appreciating what time he does give you and accepting less talking time is the only way it can work. But I don’t think that’s what you want and need to feel secure in ur relationship with him.

Maybe you are right .. I move on ..

I know it’s hard to move on. I struggle with it too. But try to remember there’s lots of other guys to choose from and you will find someone new.

click to expand

Maybe I told him too much about my feelings and he know I am emotionally tied to the relationship .. he probably felt I won’t be able to walk away. .. he also know that I am putting in a lot of effort to please his family .. it’s quite saddening to see that everything is going on well one minute and next minute he disappear ... he left not only me puzzled but my family as well.. probably his family already know the way he behaves so nothing special for him.. but he is the first kind that we encountered.. it’s really not easy to move on but things will change as soon as I go back to work .. hopefully things get better for myself and I can move on faster

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Yes just say you want a little more consistency. A call once a day. He he wants you enough he will. It's very stressful having this type of relationship

I mentioned that before too .. usually after the “talk” , he will change for awhile but soon he will become himself again. Once I told him that I had enough and I think I am not emotionally strong enough to handle this kind of relationship especially when I am going through my anxiety of losing my dad. To be honest, when he needs to be there, he has always been there. If now, I say that I need a talk , he will make time to talk to me. And if I tell him I am tired and would like to end the relationship , he will be puzzled about this sudden decision because it happened before and he said “I thought I am doing well?”

I am holding on to this relationship because my family and friends have been telling me how much I should give this break up a second thought because he is really a nice guy.

However as I keep hanging , I feel that I am losing self respect. I am financially background is stronger than him , my career is way more stable than him . Why do I need to bring myself so low to a man which in the first place, I never thought of being in a relationship .

He fought hard to win my heart but when he got it, he basically just crashed it.

Sometimes telling them to do something doesn't work. Make him feel as though he wants too...I've been in a familiar boat and it can take time xx

What do u think I should do? To come and think of it, it’s 7th day he is uncontactable.

Just message him and say hi how are you and do you want to stay in touch. If no reply then you'll have to leave it. Just check he's ok and be cool. Not too much. Don't say anything of what you want just keep it short and sweet and ask how he is and should be keep in touch. Maybe say you've missed hearing from him.

Alright ... I have just sent the first message .. just don’t understand why a man can behwve like that... it really puzzled me...

Let me know if he replies x

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I will let you know the updates.. really appreciate for all the replies as it mean a lot to me at the moment as I am keeping everything to myself as I don’t want anyone to spoil the impression they have of him ..

I've been in a LDR myself. The best way is to have a routine: communicate every day, or every other day, at a certain time.

Ideally after 10pm...for obvious reasons 😄

Posted by Undine

I've been in a LDR myself. The best way is to have a routine: communicate every day, or every other day, at a certain time.

Ideally after 10pm...for obvious reasons 😄

I just walk out from a 3 years LDR and was very successful if I have to be honest. He will text me every day which gave me enough security as I do not have to worry for him and I can focus on my work but we broke off in peace and we are still friends now. I wanted to mirror the same thing with my current boyfriend because I really wanted us to work out, initially I asked for a at least a video call a day then down to a 15 minute call a day then to just a morning message or night message to the most minimum just a text a day to let me know if he is alive. Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore since he has gone missing suddenly in the midst of a conversation. .

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by Woshihuaren

Posted by pinkbird03

You’re annoying the crap out of him with all ur conversations. He clearly doesn’t like needy and loves differently than you. Either accept him for him or move on.

Maybe you are right, when we started off, I was cold and can’t be bothered with him so he prefer it that way. I cannot accept him for him as asking for 1 text a day to ensure he is ok is the minimum I can ask for in a relationship , if he cannot respect that then I have to keep the minimal respect and pride for myself and I am ready to move on, but I feel that I need a closure. I want to ghost out as well but I cannot bring myself to do that as I feel that there is something left hanging.

Yes, I think you should move on. You want more than he’s willing to give. Don’t settle if he’s not the right one for you. Get ur closure. Say goodbye and then be free to someone else.

Yes I will definitely be ready move on but my curiosity level is very high at the moment. However at times I wonder by asking him to send me a text a day is it too much? I will not settle if he is not the right person especially when my dad just passed away and his hot and cold behaviour has been a reason my emotions went spiral. He walked me through my lowest point (or so I thought) , but I didn’t realise he was also able to bring me even lower as well.

I’m very sorry to hear about your father.

I’ll be honest. Some men don’t want to talk everyday. He is clearly one of those guys. Pressing him to do more is never going to work. Appreciating what time he does give you and accepting less talking time is the only way it can work. But I don’t think that’s what you want and need to feel secure in ur relationship with him.

Maybe you are right .. I move on ..

I know it’s hard to move on. I struggle with it too. But try to remember there’s lots of other guys to choose from and you will find someone new.

Maybe I told him too much about my feelings and he know I am emotionally tied to the relationship .. he probably felt I won’t be able to walk away. .. he also know that I am putting in a lot of effort to please his family .. it’s quite saddening to see that everything is going on well one minute and next minute he disappear ... he left not only me puzzled but my family as well.. probably his family already know the way he behaves so nothing special for him.. but he is the first kind that we encountered.. it’s really not easy to move on but things will change as soon as I go back to work .. hopefully things get better for myself and I can move on faster

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I hope so too 🙂