Aries (m) Seeking Help with Aqua (f)

I’m dealing with extremely low energy or extremely detached aqua over the last 2+ years.

We matched on bumble and before we even matched I screenshotted her profile because I was like “mother of my children.jpg” and she messaged me “Hi” first. Location was set to nyc via passport mode is why we even matched to begin with. After that location changed to Long Island about an hour away. This was May 25, 2024.

Me: Heyhey

happy Memorial Day

weekend! Got anything planned?

*no response*

Me (3 days later): Hey! Just wanted to say l'd like to get to know you a bit " How was your weekend?

Me (July 4th): Gabbyyyyy 😝

Me (Aug 5th): Sad noises😢

Me (Aug 15): hey

I conclude that she clearly abandoned the app. I notice one of the pictures that kind of showed a bit of chest was removed also at some point.

Fast forward one year to summer 2025, we matched again on a totally different app which is more conservative and serious.

Me (July 25, noon): second time matching, must be the charm

Her (August 15, 1:30am): hey

Me (Aug 17, noon): That's all I get after 20 days? You must be saving the good stuff for in-person

(I know I know, this was a shitty AI generated response because I was desperate)

Her (Sep 2, 1AM): huh

Me (immediately): LOL you're up late, what's up

Me: Or what's keeping you up~

Me (September 18): Heyy

Her: (October 5, 2AM): Hi

Me (immediately): lol hey you

Me: night owling?

Her (October 23, 3:50AM): Always

Me (instant): We have so much in common~ LOL

So what are your late nights frivolities?

Her (November 9): relaxing

At this time I got really annoyed and employed ChatGPT Pro which I use for work and it gave me a good suggestion to simply begin mirroring her energy and cadence. So since her text cadence was to respond 2-3 weeks later, and clearly my enthusiasm and grapple hooks weren’t working, I needed to try this out.

I decided to wait for several weeks and literally ONE day before I was going to respond to her last text “relaxing”, she actually double texts

Her (November 25): HA

Her again: Ha*

At this point I was fed up, so I just flat out asked her for her phone number, 2 weeks later in December 10 she sends me her number.

Until now I knew almost nothing only that she does business as per her dating profiles, so I chucked it as her being busy, maybe she hates dating apps because swamped, maybe maybe maybe. So my hope is that she will be much more responsive over text, but alas.



Same night (December 10) she gave me her number I send her

-GABBYYYYY

-lol its steve

Dead air.

She messages me on the dating app:

Her (December 29): hi

Me immediately: did you get my text, ####..

Me iMessage: 👈🏻👈🏻

Her(2am): hey sorry

Her: what’s up

This is where the app is abandoned forever and we get unmatched due to time so further coms are exclusively direct, I feel better since I got her number secured, and I can begin trying to understand what’s going on.

Me: you’re good lol

Me: just had a busy day what about you?

Me(2:30am): guess someone fell asleep

Unfortunately, this spotty communication continues, but I’m committed to mirroring her energy while living my life of course dating here and there.

Her (January 15): hey

(I get frustrated again and use ChatGPT which again gives me a cringe suggestion

Me (right away): Hey you, took you long enough lol what’s the occasion?

Me(Valentine’s Day): 💐

her (Feb 22, midnight): hey I’m not the best at texting

Me: the worst

Me: what if we call

Her: sure, tomorrow?

Me(midnight still): perfect what time is good for you

Me(next day noon): I’ll ring around 7.

I call her at 7:30pm nice snowy evening, she does not pick up, but I hear her voicemail, her voice, sounds completely normal. I didn’t leave the VM.

At this point I employ my ChatGPT pro again to to search DXPNET and match this insane behavior to a zodiac sign, I got number one match as Aqua, then it was Gemini. After reading about Aqua I was convinced she was aqua, but I needed proof, so I started going through all my screenshots that I would take occasionally of our dating profiles, and I notice that her age changed around January-February which basically confirms for me she’s Aqua.

So I have several AI’s look through threads here, and I’m beginning to learn that all this is kind of normal for aquariuses, but I still find some things strange. I begin recking my brain about all Aquarius relationships situationships, friendships, encounters and I’ve never had any of them be this detached. One very important thing I learn is the whole expectation pressure and many of my texts carried pressure so I had to change completely how I text her until I got her on the phone so we could both learn about each other and just connect.

It’s now March and I decided to just call her again, she dropped the call, so I left a voicemail: hey gabby it’s steve, was hoping to catch you, call me

Me(March 22): I notice you need space to respond and that’s okay with me

Her(April 26 evening): hey how have you been

*I intentionally don’t respond for a few days*

Her(April 30 - 1AM): sorry for delays I’ve had a lot going on all good now

Me (immediately): *picture of my computer screen machine learning charts*

(To spark curiosity)

Me: same tbh, no worries, glad things settled down, no rush. This has been my life lol, how about you? Any interesting problems?

Her: well thank you that’s a nice reply

Her: and wow what’s that

Me: that’s machine learning for xyz project

Me: bit of a rollercoaster

Me: what about you what’s your idea of fun

(Regretted sending the 3rd thing right after because it put pressure to perform)

This was our first back and forth exchange.

Her (may 15, 2026): sorry not best at texting

Her: still wanna call?

Me (midnight): no worries, yeah still do🙂 call me when you’re free this week.

*figured instead of pressuring her to commit to a specific time and date I’ll just have her figure it out*

Her (next day): Wanted to ask, what are you looking for dating wise?

Me (next day midnight): Long term. I’m not looking to rush anything, but I’m dating intentionally, not casually.

Her (responds right away): same

Me(next day): good then we’re on the same page.

Her(next day, midnight): hey

Me right away: Heyhey

Her: how are you

Me: good just looking at some data, you?

Her: watching tv

Her: do you have instagram

Me: yeah but I’m not active, *username*

Me: its literally empty lol

She goes to my profile adds me to friends even though my profile is public, I still quickly added my picture to the profile pic. 5 days later I saw she added me that same night. So I requested her back 5 days after she added me, day later she accepted my request. 2 days later I like 2 of her less 👀👀👀 posts and didn’t view any of her stories. Didn’t want to appear super eager or into her.

That was our last communication just over a week ago, I’m expecting progress and a phone call within the next few weeks, but I decided to come here and share my experience and ask some questions about some things that are kind of a concern. I did read some of the DXPNET articles such as how they love, how they disappear, how they value individuality and independence.

What’s concerning to me is the degree to which she does this. She’s involved in family business based on some posts, so that tells me great family dynamic restrained, many rebel and want to do something else entirely, I see it as a green flag. Red flag for me is the whole independence part this is why I wanted to make a thread and hear from the horses mouth so-to-speak because I sense a tinge of severe overgeneralization.

Let’s fast forward to marriage, a healthy marriage as I view it does not have individuality, two become one, you and me becomes we, any individualistic ventures are for the family like having different jobs obviously or different career paths. How is living under the same roof work if there is this detachment happening? Like for example I’m very handsy I’m a relationship when we are home, and when we are out I will hold hands most of the time, or expect the woman to just be around my arm(depends on occasion).

All DXPNET advice and articles revolves around childish dating stages, I have not seen a single article on married life. Married life with children.

Aqua without individuality and independence? 🤔

She is being disrespectful.

This is flirting this is as good as it gets .. this is as electric as she can make you. How do you like it so far? Because it seems like it's not exactly thrilling you.

IMO .. its a foreshadowing for how things will be physically and emotionally.

1. She might not be into you. (who cares plently more fish in the sea)

2. She might not be that into herself.

In my opinion .. people who are low energy are not even that into themselves romantically sexually.

People who love themselves are naturally flirty or at least respectful enough to not lead people on ..

I mean she obv doesnt respect her own time to be messing around.



I dont think she is a flirty exciting person...harsh I know. But she also has so little going on in life she messages someone she isnt into. You are into her ... YOU are the passionate exciting cool person in this. REMEMBER THAT !

I mean you could try sending a positive feel good message.

I just want you to know you are beautiful I hope you have a great day. Dont let anything upset you this week. Here if you want to meet if not .. have a great life. x

?? Too much?

Not trying to be rude at all, but did you consider she may not be that into you?

When you have had a couple of non passionate people have a crush on you .. you start to realize .. a lot of people who are not into you .. are not even into themselves .. they are not .. passionate.

And they are terrible lays.

Posted by Amethysteria
Not trying to be rude at all, but did you consider she may not be that into you?

I get you. But if she is initiating and messaging guys she is not into .. she isnt even into herself. People who are dont waste time like that .. they are genuine and direct.

I trust the OP she is low energy. She is not feeling him but I dont think she is feeling anyway passionate people are high energy you dont have to be INTO someone to have a cool interesting convo about life.

Just my opinion.

Okay it’s hard to quote people on the phone here.

@Amethysteria I absolutely considered that she wasn’t into me, it’s possible, but I cannot conclude that because we matched twice, she gave me her number and she apologized twice for her testing style . She also accepted friend request to her private insta with my literally empty insta page. I guess she could see who I follow who follows me, that’s it.

@Textosmoon Thanks for the kind words. The foreshadowing is why I’m here to see what to expect. She is not really low energy IRL just communications. From what I saw and I didn’t want to look too close, she’s from a wealthy family, and she’s actively involved in the family business. She lives with her family. If this is truly how she communicates then I doubt there are any guys in her orbit.

That said I matched with an aqua once and we hit it off, she was super engaged and we were back and forth texting non stop, while giving each other space, and it was nowhere like this.

It could be that because she doesn’t know me yet she’s unwilling to spend her energy on me, but only time would tell. I am worried that this is foreshadowing though, because day to day you need to be able to communicate, call each other, invest in each other.

So this is strange quite strange.

@victoria-sakura marriage is marriage you don’t express individuality by taking vacations separately going to different places or going out to eat to different restaurants there needs to be a degree of us in most day to day. Different businesses is acceptable, but for the same sake and goal, not for her and him, but for them.

Posted by AriesNYBrooklyn


Let’s fast forward to marriage, a healthy marriage as I view it does not have individuality, two become one, Married life with children.

I think you might be getting ahead of yourself. Dating is for life experiences and having fun. If you are not having fun you are wasting time.. chill have fun

bruh

Posted by AriesNYBrooklyn


Okay it’s hard to quote people on the phone here.

@Amethysteria I absolutely considered that she wasn’t into me, it’s possible, but I cannot conclude that because we matched twice, she gave me her number and she apologized twice for her testing style . She also accepted friend request to her private insta with my literally empty insta page. I guess she could see who I follow who follows me, that’s it.

@Textosmoon Thanks for the kind words. The foreshadowing is why I’m here to see what to expect. She is not really low energy IRL just communications. From what I saw and I didn’t want to look too close, she’s from a wealthy family, and she’s actively involved in the family business. She lives with her family. If this is truly how she communicates then I doubt there are any guys in her orbit.

That said I matched with an aqua once and we hit it off, she was super engaged and we were back and forth texting non stop, while giving each other space, and it was nowhere like this.

It could be that because she doesn’t know me yet she’s unwilling to spend her energy on me, but only time would tell. I am worried that this is foreshadowing though, because day to day you need to be able to communicate, call each other, invest in each other.

So this is strange quite strange.

@victoria-sakura marriage is marriage you don’t express individuality by taking vacations separately going to different places or going out to eat to different restaurants there needs to be a degree of us in most day to day. Different businesses is acceptable, but for the same sake and goal, not for her and him, but for them.

Mmm I hear ya. Having this kind of expectations though might be too early. From one Ram to another, I get it. You want to be around them as much as possible. This might be suffocating to the recipient though.

@victoria-sakura well you’re right and I am keeping that in mind. If anything happens and this progresses somehow, I’ll see how she is and what buttons I can push how far, light unit tests. Though in the end of the day, in marriage, under the same roof, you don’t just disengage for a week, so I hope that this isn’t typically the case with them.