Ladyluck31
@Ladyluck31
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 13 · Topics: 4
Commitment phobe
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriages
No, this is not normal.
He's damaged. If I could read minds, I'd say that he feels exposed and vulnerable now and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and he thinks that you now know enough to do that.
Leave him alone. If he hasn't confronted his issues from the past, you'll be the whipping post. He won't be able to have any real intimacy until he faces up to his part in his failed relationships. He may never be able to do that.
It wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue it at this time.
He's damaged. If I could read minds, I'd say that he feels exposed and vulnerable now and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and he thinks that you now know enough to do that.
Leave him alone. If he hasn't confronted his issues from the past, you'll be the whipping post. He won't be able to have any real intimacy until he faces up to his part in his failed relationships. He may never be able to do that.
It wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue it at this time.
Posted by Ladyluck31He's old enough to know exactly what he wants from a relationship and from you. Time to find out what that is.Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriagesclick to expand
Have you talked about marriage with him? Could be he's not wanting to go down that route again with two failed marriages. Could be he doesn't even want to cohabilitate...
Maybe he's happy with just dating someone a few times a week and keeping his emotional distance.
Ever talked about what the future looks like for you two?
Posted by sultrykittyOK, I will leave him alone.... Not gonna lie, this is gong to be a challenge for me. I'm very grounded and communicate freely, so I guess this is a good challenge for my own personal strength lol
No, this is not normal.
He's damaged. If I could read minds, I'd say that he feels exposed and vulnerable now and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and he thinks that you now know enough to do that.
Leave him alone. If he hasn't confronted his issues from the past, you'll be the whipping post. He won't be able to have any real intimacy until he faces up to his part in his failed relationships. He may never be able to do that.
It wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue it at this time.
He is my best friend, and our history goes back years before dating... anytime I need advice I have turned to him... Not being able to with something so important to me sucks ..but it is what it is
Posted by LadyNeptuneI've always let him bring up our future before I engage. He's stated that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me on several occasions. He's made jokes about when we one day live together, he'll have a secret cupboard for his snacks because I'm notorious for indulging, etc. His words show clearly that he wants a future.. This recent mental freak out is very unlike him... He's spaced out before but never like this.Posted by Ladyluck31He's old enough to know exactly what he wants from a relationship and from you. Time to find out what that is.Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriages
Have you talked about marriage with him? Could be he's not wanting to go down that route again with two failed marriages. Could be he doesn't even want to cohabilitate...
Maybe he's happy with just dating someone a few times a week and keeping his emotional distance.
Ever talked about what the future looks like for you two?
click to expand
Posted by Ladyluck31If you can get some distance and later simply be a friend until he can deal with his past, I think that would be better for you both. Lower expectations can really make a big difference. Especially if one of you is struggling with heavy stuff.Posted by sultrykittyOK, I will leave him alone.... Not gonna lie, this is gong to be a challenge for me. I'm very grounded and communicate freely, so I guess this is a good challenge for my own personal strength lol
No, this is not normal.
He's damaged. If I could read minds, I'd say that he feels exposed and vulnerable now and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and he thinks that you now know enough to do that.
Leave him alone. If he hasn't confronted his issues from the past, you'll be the whipping post. He won't be able to have any real intimacy until he faces up to his part in his failed relationships. He may never be able to do that.
It wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue it at this time.
He is my best friend, and our history goes back years before dating... anytime I need advice I have turned to him... Not being able to with something so important to me sucks ..but it is what it is
click to expand
Posted by sultrykittyPosted by Ladyluck31If you can get some distance and later simply be a friend until he can deal with his past, I think that would be better for you both. Lower expectations can really make a big difference. Especially if one of you is struggling with heavy stuff.Posted by sultrykittyOK, I will leave him alone.... Not gonna lie, this is gong to be a challenge for me. I'm very grounded and communicate freely, so I guess this is a good challenge for my own personal strength lol
No, this is not normal.
He's damaged. If I could read minds, I'd say that he feels exposed and vulnerable now and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and he thinks that you now know enough to do that.
Leave him alone. If he hasn't confronted his issues from the past, you'll be the whipping post. He won't be able to have any real intimacy until he faces up to his part in his failed relationships. He may never be able to do that.
It wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue it at this time.
He is my best friend, and our history goes back years before dating... anytime I need advice I have turned to him... Not being able to with something so important to me sucks ..but it is what it is
click to expand
Good advice. That makes sense. Thank you
Posted by Ladyluck31Idk...his words hint at a future but his actions tell a different story. Time to decide what you need from him and set a time limit. Your coming up to 2 years...Posted by LadyNeptuneI've always let him bring up our future before I engage. He's stated that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me on several occasions. He's made jokes about when we one day live together, he'll have a secret cupboard for his snacks because I'm notorious for indulging, etc. His words show clearly that he wants a future.. This recent mental freak out is very unlike him... He's spaced out before but never like this.Posted by Ladyluck31He's old enough to know exactly what he wants from a relationship and from you. Time to find out what that is.Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriages
Have you talked about marriage with him? Could be he's not wanting to go down that route again with two failed marriages. Could be he doesn't even want to cohabilitate...
Maybe he's happy with just dating someone a few times a week and keeping his emotional distance.
Ever talked about what the future looks like for you two?
click to expand
Dealing with broken Aquas is very difficult if you don't really want him with his flaws. "Talking" about it doesn't help, because they are not capable of expressing deep feelings "on command"; building a very strong friendship and building trust helps a lot in making him overcome his insecurities and his fear of being hurt again. You cannot breach his self-defense mechanism, but you can make him lower it slowly, by himself. Only if you have the patience and the time to do it. If not, do not waste your and his time. He is obviously not prepared to do it yet.
Posted by Ladyluck31
Recently new to this forum.... Asked vaguely for advice once before but I'm really hoping for a deep inside view of what my boyfriend is thinking and advice on what to do, because I've never been in a situation like this before with my aqua guy
Been dating Him for quite some time now. I noticed that everytime our relationship would progress at a deeper level he'd act as though he had cold feet....it usually doesn't last long.
3 weeks ago, we had the best night we have ever had.... It was very special. Shortly after, he grew distant again... After a few days, I had confronted him, stating there was a noticeable pattern and I wouldn't mind we discussed it together. He agreed, he apologized and said he needs to work on it. He made it clear that he loves me and wants to be with me, then disappeared again. I'm not needy, respect his space, but I do notice ahen I'm being consciously avoided. Due to failed marriages of the past and some other events, he has developed some commitment issues and it's a reaction he does without noticing...although admitted to it for the first time.
OK I respect that, let's work on it together...
But after that, he REALLY shut down. Into our 3rd week of him Ignoring me, lack of conversation, intimacy etc I asked if we could approach that conversation once more because he'd apologized and aknowleged it, but then turned into a stone wall his words and actions aren't lining up, so if I could get some clarity to understand the situation better, it would help me through his commitment phobic actions.
He is now completely ignoring me and I have never seen him act so cold.if he's not ignoring me he's angry, kinda mean and just like I am no longer of importance.... This is the first time he's ever acted so disrespectful towards me and it's shocking.
Help— What is going on here..... Am I missing something? Is this normal for an Aquarius?
naw he doesn't sound like he's into you at all.
cold feet usually means not ready for a relationship. no matter how many marriages or relationshps they have.
he is probably just lonely and wants to have some time with someone.
but when it comes to commitment? he is not ready if he's not wanting to take the plunge.
what are his placements and what are yours??
Posted by Ladyluck31actions speak louder than words.Posted by LadyNeptuneI've always let him bring up our future before I engage. He's stated that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me on several occasions. He's made jokes about when we one day live together, he'll have a secret cupboard for his snacks because I'm notorious for indulging, etc. His words show clearly that he wants a future.. This recent mental freak out is very unlike him... He's spaced out before but never like this.Posted by Ladyluck31He's old enough to know exactly what he wants from a relationship and from you. Time to find out what that is.Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriages
Have you talked about marriage with him? Could be he's not wanting to go down that route again with two failed marriages. Could be he doesn't even want to cohabilitate...
Maybe he's happy with just dating someone a few times a week and keeping his emotional distance.
Ever talked about what the future looks like for you two?
click to expand
if a man keeps saying and saying but never "doing"...
Posted by lisabethur8Our reason for discussing the future and not 'doing'is a mutual agreement. We do want a future don't want to rush. I've got kids at home and more comfortable raising them on my own, and his kids are grown up and he's got that 'freedom'Posted by Ladyluck31actions speak louder than words.Posted by LadyNeptuneI've always let him bring up our future before I engage. He's stated that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me on several occasions. He's made jokes about when we one day live together, he'll have a secret cupboard for his snacks because I'm notorious for indulging, etc. His words show clearly that he wants a future.. This recent mental freak out is very unlike him... He's spaced out before but never like this.Posted by Ladyluck31He's old enough to know exactly what he wants from a relationship and from you. Time to find out what that is.Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriages
Have you talked about marriage with him? Could be he's not wanting to go down that route again with two failed marriages. Could be he doesn't even want to cohabilitate...
Maybe he's happy with just dating someone a few times a week and keeping his emotional distance.
Ever talked about what the future looks like for you two?
if a man keeps saying and saying but never "doing"...
click to expand
.....its something we mutually agreed on... That my kids would be a little older and their relationship a bit more established before taking that plunge
Posted by Ladyluck31I find this to be an excuse he grabbed from thin air. Consistency in decisions has nothing to do with kids. He can be committed even though you keep your current arrangements for now. He is not prepared for a proper relationship, but he values your friendship.Posted by lisabethur8Our reason for discussing the future and not 'doing'is a mutual agreement. We do want a future don't want to rush. I've got kids at home and more comfortable raising them on my own, and his kids are grown up and he's got that 'freedom'Posted by Ladyluck31actions speak louder than words.Posted by LadyNeptuneI've always let him bring up our future before I engage. He's stated that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me on several occasions. He's made jokes about when we one day live together, he'll have a secret cupboard for his snacks because I'm notorious for indulging, etc. His words show clearly that he wants a future.. This recent mental freak out is very unlike him... He's spaced out before but never like this.Posted by Ladyluck31He's old enough to know exactly what he wants from a relationship and from you. Time to find out what that is.Posted by LadyNeptuneAlmost 18months
How long have you been dating?
How old is he?
How many failed marriages does he have?
He's 46
2 failed marriages
Have you talked about marriage with him? Could be he's not wanting to go down that route again with two failed marriages. Could be he doesn't even want to cohabilitate...
Maybe he's happy with just dating someone a few times a week and keeping his emotional distance.
Ever talked about what the future looks like for you two?
if a man keeps saying and saying but never "doing"...
.....its something we mutually agreed on... That my kids would be a little older and their relationship a bit more established before taking that plunge
click to expand
Posted by Ladyluck31
Recently new to this forum.... Asked vaguely for advice once before but I'm really hoping for a deep inside view of what my boyfriend is thinking and advice on what to do, because I've never been in a situation like this before with my aqua guy
Been dating Him for quite some time now. I noticed that everytime our relationship would progress at a deeper level he'd act as though he had cold feet....it usually doesn't last long.
3 weeks ago, we had the best night we have ever had.... It was very special. Shortly after, he grew distant again... After a few days, I had confronted him, stating there was a noticeable pattern and I wouldn't mind we discussed it together. He agreed, he apologized and said he needs to work on it. He made it clear that he loves me and wants to be with me, then disappeared again. I'm not needy, respect his space, but I do notice ahen I'm being consciously avoided. Due to failed marriages of the past and some other events, he has developed some commitment issues and it's a reaction he does without noticing...although admitted to it for the first time.
OK I respect that, let's work on it together...
But after that, he REALLY shut down. Into our 3rd week of him Ignoring me, lack of conversation, intimacy etc I asked if we could approach that conversation once more because he'd apologized and aknowleged it, but then turned into a stone wall his words and actions aren't lining up, so if I could get some clarity to understand the situation better, it would help me through his commitment phobic actions.
He is now completely ignoring me and I have never seen him act so cold.if he's not ignoring me he's angry, kinda mean and just like I am no longer of importance.... This is the first time he's ever acted so disrespectful towards me and it's shocking.
Help— What is going on here..... Am I missing something? Is this normal for an Aquarius?
Definitely scared of commitment. I am not surprised with 2 failed marriages. He is clearly telling you to back off. Just give him some space, don't push the situation. If he is nice to you be nice to him and don't bring the commitment conversation for a long time.
It is when you are independent and they think that they can loose you that they want to commit. As long as he has you for sure he won't.
i honestly dont think having 2 failed marriages is gonna stop this man.
when someone falls in love and wants that person, they arent gonna stop and think they're gonna be used and abused again. Becuase that's not how falling love /desiring someone works.
this guy is just not into you, OP. 😢
it's better you move on so your heart doesn't break. a man needs to reciprocate and be INTO YOU.
when someone falls in love and wants that person, they arent gonna stop and think they're gonna be used and abused again. Becuase that's not how falling love /desiring someone works.
this guy is just not into you, OP. 😢
it's better you move on so your heart doesn't break. a man needs to reciprocate and be INTO YOU.
Posted by sultrykittyI do agree. Regardless of sun sign. Him ignoring you and claiming you are his girlfriend? Stuff that. Few days is ok but more than that is a No No!! he has issues you and be his fixer! In saying that confronting or pushing and Aqua to do something you want it to be done won't work or help build the connection. express ur hurt but not in a blame game kind of way... express ur needs in a vulnerable and feminine manner.. mirror his behaviour... so he knows how it feels for you.
No, this is not normal.
He's damaged. If I could read minds, I'd say that he feels exposed and vulnerable now and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and he thinks that you now know enough to do that.
Leave him alone. If he hasn't confronted his issues from the past, you'll be the whipping post. He won't be able to have any real intimacy until he faces up to his part in his failed relationships. He may never be able to do that.
It wouldn't be in your best interest to pursue it at this time.
The more you act like u r happy with ur life without his present.. even more happier with him is when he will put in efforts. They r like birds... open the gate freely for them and while they r flying just do ur own stuff. Make sure it's known to him too.. that u r living ur independent life... and if they feel like you r not at the gate anxiously waiting for his return is when he will fly back home faster ... 😉 coz it's no longer fun hahaha
Even more happy without him *
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Been dating Him for quite some time now. I noticed that everytime our relationship would progress at a deeper level he'd act as though he had cold feet....it usually doesn't last long.
3 weeks ago, we had the best night we have ever had.... It was very special. Shortly after, he grew distant again... After a few days, I had confronted him, stating there was a noticeable pattern and I wouldn't mind we discussed it together. He agreed, he apologized and said he needs to work on it. He made it clear that he loves me and wants to be with me, then disappeared again. I'm not needy, respect his space, but I do notice ahen I'm being consciously avoided. Due to failed marriages of the past and some other events, he has developed some commitment issues and it's a reaction he does without noticing...although admitted to it for the first time.
OK I respect that, let's work on it together...
But after that, he REALLY shut down. Into our 3rd week of him Ignoring me, lack of conversation, intimacy etc I asked if we could approach that conversation once more because he'd apologized and aknowleged it, but then turned into a stone wall his words and actions aren't lining up, so if I could get some clarity to understand the situation better, it would help me through his commitment phobic actions.
He is now completely ignoring me and I have never seen him act so cold.if he's not ignoring me he's angry, kinda mean and just like I am no longer of importance.... This is the first time he's ever acted so disrespectful towards me and it's shocking.
Help— What is going on here..... Am I missing something? Is this normal for an Aquarius?