Detached? Unfeeling? I think not!

First off I apologize if there is or has been a thread like this, but It's something that I have noticed the past few weeks on the forums and wanted to ask my fellow Aquarian's how they feel when they see statements about how cold, detached and uncaring we are as a sign.

People say we are detached, unfeeling, or even un-emotional. I don't get that or see that at all. The generalized statements that get thrown around drive me crazy!! I sometimes wish they would stop publishing that crap about us.. I personally think we the zodiacs enigma's so we get labeled as the above listed things because of this.

I know for a fact I am a very caring soul, that is not detached or cold with others but when someone finds out my birth sign, it's like they expect me to act/be a certain way with them, a robot, because that's what they read somewhere.

Thoughts?

You know what I think about this subject, I think we don't see it ourselves but the people that interact with us do. I was married to an Aries & he had the stereotypical Aries traits of selfishness, childishness, etc. But believe me when I tell you that he didn't see himself like that at all.

People have told me that it seems like I don't like people. A family member even said that I seem to be faking things eg. excitement when she calls or comes to visit. I don't get it either because I know my excitement is genuine, I just dont twirl or skip around to show it. I think we are giving off a vibe of coldness etc even though we are one of the warmest individuals to be around.

I dont think Aquarius is a "cold" or unfeeling sign. I just think that Aquarians are naturally very 'insulated' in their approach to life. They know that the way people feel about themselves is really the only determinate in whether or not they will be happy in life, so they don't bother holding everybody's hands.

I agree with what you said about not being able to see ourselves like others can, however another's perception can be skewed- especially if they want you to fit a certain mold or image they hold in their mind.

My frustration I think more lies in the fact that people who don't even know us/me assume certain things about a person based on birth signs. I think it's more of the statements getting tossed out about how we are so cold and like robots. Perhaps I just need to read some of the stuff said with a grain of salt and realize not everyone see's us as warm, fuzzy people. LOL

My Aquarian friend always gets really pissed when I describe him as unemotional. He says aquas are neither emotional or unemotional... How unemotional is that! lol

Posted by Tornadoday16
My Aquarian friend always gets really pissed when I describe him as unemotional. He says aquas are neither emotional or unemotional... How unemotional is that! lol

Lol! That's not unemotional. it makes perfect sense to me! 😛

What? The fact that you do not have to choose? I'm just telling you other signs really resent it when an Aquarian they know refuses to take their side on something.

Lol no, I was teasing!

I GET how someone saying that can drive others crazy. What do you mean about the choosing though? Choosing what, to display emotions or not?

I think that we are just misunderstood for the most part. Speaking for myself though, if I feel vulnerable in a situation or if I truly care for someone and we are in a "limbo" stage... I will appear to be insensitive or detached, so that I don't give myself away, but that isn't whats going on behind the curtain.
Also, when someone has hurt me or one that is close to me, I write them off. Some find this to be detached and unemotional, but just because it appears to be easy to me and that I don't care, 99% of the time, that isn't how I truly feel inside.

And no offense, but who cares what people say about us. If they truly care about us and are patient enough to learn about our ways, only then should we care.

Well, to choose to believe something is right or not. As the most evolved air sign Aquarians are supposed to be able to not just understand and communicate ideas, but to take a side with what ever ideas they believe to be 'correct'. You can't be scared of dumping the water.

I don't know how to multi quote so I just did my best here.

@ Tornadoday As I have grown older I have no problem picking a side on stuff. When I was younger however, I was very much worried about rocking the boat, so I can really see that!

@ Rae- I'm still learning how sign placements effect me and such, but I get told all the time I wear my heart on my sleeve, I feel way OVER emotional at times & want to turn those emotions off. I guess I do care to much what others have to say, but damit they are wrong! LOL

@Per LOL at squirt of piss!! LMAO

Posted by scorchedearth
all the aquarians i've known have been more emo than cancers. i've never met an aqua or aqua heavy person that was emotionally cold or distant.

i do wonder about that though. maybe the aquas just feel comfortable with me?

You have any aqua placements?

I know from what I have seen of your posts, you are very straight forward and speak your mind. I respect the hell out of that trait in people, perhaps your aqua friends see that in you and know that what they see is what they get (not sure if that even makes any bit of sense).

I think Aquas are misunderstood. They are caring but have a different way of showing it which is difficult for us (me) to understand. I still find it hard to understand. Eg I have 2 Aqua friends. Both very different. It was my birthday on Sun and my aqua friends (who I want to be more than just friends) didn't wish me happy birthday. He's actually done this 3rd time in a row of not wishing and forgetting my birthday. Even when its clear from my Instagram pictures and twitter messages. My other Aqua friend who I have known for years (but have become distant) always messages me on my birthday. He's always shown a funny caring side and we got on and clicked soo well that it was scary lol.

I was actually really upset that he didn't message or wish me. So the next day I confronted him via messages. He said sorry and said he forgot. I was still wondering how can he actually forget. Apparently his reason is that he always forgets his mates birthdays. Now I don't know if that is true or not but I just didn't want to drag this and just said thanks for the wishes, chat soon.

Its just very strange how 2 Aqua friends I know are both very different from each other. Both do get distant and cold but in completely different ways.

Posted by WaterCup
You know what I think about this subject, I think we don't see it ourselves but the people that interact with us do. I was married to an Aries & he had the stereotypical Aries traits of selfishness, childishness, etc. But believe me when I tell you that he didn't see himself like that at all.

People have told me that it seems like I don't like people. A family member even said that I seem to be faking things eg. excitement when she calls or comes to visit. I don't get it either because I know my excitement is genuine, I just dont twirl or skip around to show it. I think we are giving off a vibe of coldness etc even though we are one of the warmest individuals to be around.

didn't you say your husband or ex husband has a stellium aries in him, so it triples or quadruples?

my family members NEVER say that about me. Even my husband. He would NEVER marry a woman who was "detached" but i will say this: he does say I am DITZY and get into the clouds every so often, as if i'm dreaming, but that is it. None of my family, close friends say that about me ever. that's why when i got into astrology I thought what is this crap??!

Posted by starlover
I was with two aquas and a moon in aqua

They are the water bearer..so therefore as the glyph shows, the water is contained within the carrier..the emotions are there, but they are withheld and not displayed, if they were to be cracked open, they would lose control

Aquas detach from their emotions because they are meant to..they are an air sign...in the head, that is why often times they gravitate to water signs to help balance the inability to emote

excuse me? I thought your moon is how you think, emotional, and your sun is your ego, going about stuff, and venus is how you love, or moon, mars your sexual drive and who you are attracted to. rising is part of your sun, blah blah.

no one ever said i held my emotions at bay.

Posted by justagirl
First off I apologize if there is or has been a thread like this, but It's something that I have noticed the past few weeks on the forums and wanted to ask my fellow Aquarian's how they feel when they see statements about how cold, detached and uncaring we are as a sign.

People say we are detached, unfeeling, or even un-emotional. I don't get that or see that at all. The generalized statements that get thrown around drive me crazy!! I sometimes wish they would stop publishing that crap about us.. I personally think we the zodiacs enigma's so we get labeled as the above listed things because of this.

I know for a fact I am a very caring soul, that is not detached or cold with others but when someone finds out my birth sign, it's like they expect me to act/be a certain way with them, a robot, because that's what they read somewhere.

Thoughts?

Amen sister. Amen. It may attribute to the fact that "houses" in the chart may contribute alot. Although i dont like the ditzyness i can be at times, and i do get lost alot. But i have accepted it as part of my nature and i am not bothered by it anymore. I used to because people would look at me as if i'm dumb and can't find my way. So i would be looked at as a freak and maybe someone with a loose connection and that always made me cry alot. But astrology kind of made me see it's okay, and people that love me don't mind it and accept that i'm directionless without them.

Posted by Angeleyes17
I think Aquas are misunderstood. They are caring but have a different way of showing it which is difficult for us (me) to understand. I still find it hard to understand. Eg I have 2 Aqua friends. Both very different. It was my birthday on Sun and my aqua friends (who I want to be more than just friends) didn't wish me happy birthday. He's actually done this 3rd time in a row of not wishing and forgetting my birthday. Even when its clear from my Instagram pictures and twitter messages. My other Aqua friend who I have known for years (but have become distant) always messages me on my birthday. He's always shown a funny caring side and we got on and clicked soo well that it was scary lol.

I was actually really upset that he didn't message or wish me. So the next day I confronted him via messages. He said sorry and said he forgot. I was still wondering how can he actually forget. Apparently his reason is that he always forgets his mates birthdays. Now I don't know if that is true or not but I just didn't want to drag this and just said thanks for the wishes, chat soon.

Its just very strange how 2 Aqua friends I know are both very different from each other. Both do get distant and cold but in completely different ways.

Happy belated birthday, girl 🙂 I don't think you should take what your friend did to heart. I don't know about him but I'll tell you this, sometimes I even forget birthdays...even my own! I have a taurus friend I've been friends with for more than a decade & I still don't remember if she was born May 4th or May 5th. She always calls me on her birthday but I still don't remember which day it is.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by WaterCup
You know what I think about this subject, I think we don't see it ourselves but the people that interact with us do. I was married to an Aries & he had the stereotypical Aries traits of selfishness, childishness, etc. But believe me when I tell you that he didn't see himself like that at all.

People have told me that it seems like I don't like people. A family member even said that I seem to be faking things eg. excitement when she calls or comes to visit. I don't get it either because I know my excitement is genuine, I just dont twirl or skip around to show it. I think we are giving off a vibe of coldness etc even though we are one of the warmest individuals to be around.

didn't you say your husband or ex husband has a stellium aries in him, so it triples or quadruples?

my family members NEVER say that about me. Even my husband. He would NEVER marry a woman who was "detached" but i will say this: he does say I am DITZY and get into the clouds every so often, as if i'm dreaming, but that is it. None of my family, close friends say that about me ever. that's why when i got into astrology I thought what is this crap??!

click to expand

I had to recheck his chart...he has aries sun, moon, mars & mercury. So yeah, he is very Arian.

As for what your family say or don't say about you, the answer is simple...maybe you don't have the issues I have personally & the issues I have with some of my family members, so ofcourse you & I will not be similar.

I love the cousin that said that to me though, we get along fine, so it really shocked me when she said that because seeing her is always a pleasure to me. The people who said I seem to not like people are simply nosy people. I like being alone by myself, I don't appreciate unannounced guests who just pop up to my house when I don't even know them well enough. So maybe my displeasure, I don't know & I don't care. If I've never set foot in your house, what do you want inside mines? I value my space & privacy very much.

*So maybe my displeasure shows.

I don't make friends easily. I can talk all day with everybody, but to actually have a real friendship...that's hard for me.

When me & my exhusband moved to another province, I never made even one single friend. I stayed there for 3 years. My only "friends" were books from the library 2 blocks away. I attempted friendship with one lady though & it didn't go well. 1) she was ALWAYS at my house to the point where I had to hide from her just to get some me time. Not good 2) she couldn't do anything by herself, she wanted me to be with her even when she went to the store to buy bread. Again, not good. I got so fed up that I refused anything she said. If she came over, I told her it wasn't possible because I was about to take a nap, etc. With time she got the message & left me alone. Finally!

See, aquas are not cold and they do have emotions, it's just that you contain them and it APPEARS outwardly that yall are cold and unemotional. The air of detachment or aloofness people feel from you reinforces that stereotype. Plus, some of you on here have admitted that showing the emotion makes you uncomfortable. Also, several of you admitted you aren't good at expressing your emotions. (My own aqua has admitted that). Aquas, in general, don't let people into the fact that the emotions are there. It's a defense mechanism perhaps. Only certain people that take the time to really get to know you are privileged enough to experience those emotions you have. And THAT, my friends, is what is so special about being friends with an aqua and it makes getting to know you down to that level really rewarding!

P.S.
I have heard many of my aqua friends tell me they don't think they're aloof and don't understand why people tell them they are. It's just a demeanor or a vibe you guys give out that other people feel when they're around you. Once you guys are comfortable and begin to trust someone, the demeanor changes.

Just my theory anyway.

Posted by SirB2
I only have a few Aqua close Aqua friends. And even then, we're not as close as it seems.

From your neighbors opinion(im a Capricorn), I find you guys interesting but definetly NOT misunderstood. You guys want to be misunderstood, to be weird, to show off something...

I find Aqua males to be emotional and a lot more agreeable. The females are a different story. I find them unfeeling and the constant need to compute emotions through their brains instead of letting the heart flow. I cant watch Oprah or Ellen. I find them to be too human...

But other than that, when you guys are around to show off your new toy or have some story to tell, it's really a fun time. Loyal friends. When they're around...lol

Ah....Ellen and Oprah, the IMPERSONAL people who have to work a living/career to touch all human beings. Not personal one-on-one but on a level where they have to talk/discuss to billions of people/ for $ $ and enjoyment. I'm sure that goes hand in hand. Although not sure about their personal lives though, but they do have to have a mate that will understand that their career is no.1 and their mates are the "support". At least that's my impression of them.

Posted by feby16aqua
And with me, once you're on the outside, you're on the outside...so of course no one who is actually currently WITH an aqua will say those things.

I'm the same way

Posted by feby16aqua
so of course no one who is actually currently WITH an aqua will say those things.

Can I ask what you meant by that? Not sure I understood.

Oh, I see. Thanks for clarifying. 🙂

Posted by Angeleyes17
I think Aquas are misunderstood. They are caring but have a different way of showing it which is difficult for us (me) to understand. I still find it hard to understand. Eg I have 2 Aqua friends. Both very different. It was my birthday on Sun and my aqua friends (who I want to be more than just friends) didn't wish me happy birthday. He's actually done this 3rd time in a row of not wishing and forgetting my birthday. Even when its clear from my Instagram pictures and twitter messages. My other Aqua friend who I have known for years (but have become distant) always messages me on my birthday. He's always shown a funny caring side and we got on and clicked soo well that it was scary lol.

I was actually really upset that he didn't message or wish me. So the next day I confronted him via messages. He said sorry and said he forgot. I was still wondering how can he actually forget. Apparently his reason is that he always forgets his mates birthdays. Now I don't know if that is true or not but I just didn't want to drag this and just said thanks for the wishes, chat soon.

Its just very strange how 2 Aqua friends I know are both very different from each other. Both do get distant and cold but in completely different ways.

happy late birthday!! Thanks for your input as well!

Posted by truecap
See, aquas are not cold and they do have emotions, it's just that you contain them and it APPEARS outwardly that yall are cold and unemotional. The air of detachment or aloofness people feel from you reinforces that stereotype. Plus, some of you on here have admitted that showing the emotion makes you uncomfortable. Also, several of you admitted you aren't good at expressing your emotions. (My own aqua has admitted that). Aquas, in general, don't let people into the fact that the emotions are there. It's a defense mechanism perhaps. Only certain people that take the time to really get to know you are privileged enough to experience those emotions you have. And THAT, my friends, is what is so special about being friends with an aqua and it makes getting to know you down to that level really rewarding!

P.S.
I have heard many of my aqua friends tell me they don't think they're aloof and don't understand why people tell them they are. It's just a demeanor or a vibe you guys give out that other people feel when they're around you. Once you guys are comfortable and begin to trust someone, the demeanor changes.

Just my theory anyway.

love this input. thank you!! I don't see myself as aloof, but I have had a few people think I didn't like them or that I was even mad at them and it's because I was in my own world, it had nothing to do with them!

I know i'm right on the cusp of cap/aqua. I don't know what that means but I relate to the discriptions of both signs...and have always felt that I have both qualities..is that even possible?

Sometimes how you see yourself is NOT how others see you.

On the other hand, you know you better than others do. And just b/c someone else can't see or doesn't believe that you have a big heart, are affectionate or are emotional, doesn't mean that it's not there. That's why you have to be careful about taking in too much what others think of you. Before you know it, they'll have you questioning whether or not you even know yourself lol

Plus perception is everything. 5 people could all be observing the same exact thing/person & yet all come to completely different conclusions.

For example, someone could see you staring at the ground while your partner is talking. 1. One person might say look she's being aloof b/c she's not even giving him eye contact. 2. Another person might say, wow she's really taking in all that he's saying 3. Another person could say well she's probably just distracted & thinking about something other than what her partner is talking about 4. Another person might say Wow, look she's not even an emotional person b/c if she was, she'd be in tears by now! 5. While another person might say, wowww she's def. taking in all that he's saying & you can tell by the fact that instead of touching/embracing him, she's got her head down in deep thought.

See what I'm saying?! So take into account that everybody's perception of something may be different from the next.

Another example: You're at home on the couch not cuddled up with your partner but sitting next to them. Others on the outside looking in could say. 1. Wow, the fact that she's not cuddled up with him means she's aloof OR 2. She must not be an affectionate person if she has to sit so far from him (when "far" is really only an inch lol) OR 3. She probably is an affectionate person but just has something on her mind that's stopping her from being in the mood to be affectionate OR 4. The affection in her will come out any second, she's just thinking about something 1st or waiting to make her move. OR 5. She might've been affectionate with him alllllll day earlier, & now just finally wants some space.

See what I mean?! 5 different people could size you up in a milllion different ways & they ALL be wrong!

What if the answer was just that you had a charlie horse & were sitting in that position b/c you were trying to make it go away!— lol See, the person who choose to misjudge you as not being an affectionate person would be 100% wrong. And if they chose to cut you off or treat you differently, then they'd be missing out on you too.

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Angeleyes17
I think Aquas are misunderstood. They are caring but have a different way of showing it which is difficult for us (me) to understand. I still find it hard to understand. Eg I have 2 Aqua friends. Both very different. It was my birthday on Sun and my aqua friends (who I want to be more than just friends) didn't wish me happy birthday. He's actually done this 3rd time in a row of not wishing and forgetting my birthday. Even when its clear from my Instagram pictures and twitter messages. My other Aqua friend who I have known for years (but have become distant) always messages me on my birthday. He's always shown a funny caring side and we got on and clicked soo well that it was scary lol.

I was actually really upset that he didn't message or wish me. So the next day I confronted him via messages. He said sorry and said he forgot. I was still wondering how can he actually forget. Apparently his reason is that he always forgets his mates birthdays. Now I don't know if that is true or not but I just didn't want to drag this and just said thanks for the wishes, chat soon.

Its just very strange how 2 Aqua friends I know are both very different from each other. Both do get distant and cold but in completely different ways.

Happy belated birthday, girl 🙂 I don't think you should take what your friend did to heart. I don't know about him but I'll tell you this, sometimes I even forget birthdays...even my own! I have a taurus friend I've been friends with for more than a decade & I still don't remember if she was born May 4th or May 5th. She always calls me on her birthday but I still don't remember which day it is.

click to expand

Thank you xx

I know I shouldnt have. And I'm fine now, I thought to myself instead of sulking to myself why not just be straight up about it with him. Awwww.. but you know when she remembers your birthday, do you appreciate the fact she remembers?

Posted by justagirl

Posted by Angeleyes17
I think Aquas are misunderstood. They are caring but have a different way of showing it which is difficult for us (me) to understand. I still find it hard to understand. Eg I have 2 Aqua friends. Both very different. It was my birthday on Sun and my aqua friends (who I want to be more than just friends) didn't wish me happy birthday. He's actually done this 3rd time in a row of not wishing and forgetting my birthday. Even when its clear from my Instagram pictures and twitter messages. My other Aqua friend who I have known for years (but have become distant) always messages me on my birthday. He's always shown a funny caring side and we got on and clicked soo well that it was scary lol.

I was actually really upset that he didn't message or wish me. So the next day I confronted him via messages. He said sorry and said he forgot. I was still wondering how can he actually forget. Apparently his reason is that he always forgets his mates birthdays. Now I don't know if that is true or not but I just didn't want to drag this and just said thanks for the wishes, chat soon.

Its just very strange how 2 Aqua friends I know are both very different from each other. Both do get distant and cold but in completely different ways.

happy late birthday!! Thanks for your input as well!

click to expand

Thanks Hun xx

Well to address everything touched on in this thread....

1)Aquarius men/women are emotional (everyone has emotions). Aquas like to help people... They like to feel like they are needed and contributing towards something. When we go whining about how we feel to someone it tends to make us feel like we are "taking" from society and "using" it for attention... that we know most times can be handled alone. I think, yes it sucks to feel weak but it sucks even more to feel like your ruining someone else's day, distracting them from important issues of their own, or taking away from a group effort when you have to have them attend to you and your own issues.

2)Yes Aquarius do take firm stances on things, not sure why that was ever in question. Very open to changing our views granted the proper proof for why its wrong is presented... which by the way will not be very easy to do.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius

2)Yes Aquarius do take firm stances on things, not sure why that was ever in question. Very open to changing our views granted the proper proof for why its wrong is presented... which by the way will not be very easy to do.

+1000

When half of what you know comes from experiences, it's very difficult to see things differently b/c those experiences are your own & no one can take that from you just b/c their experiences are different.

^ This is true for me I think.

As a kid everyone called me a cry baby, naive was probably the word but back then the world seemed a lot more magical than it did. Growing up without anyone caring for me I made a note of observing other families. Then with my own limited experience with the power someone has on you and how they can affect you emotionally that's when I started acting more detached from the people I want to care about.

To the point where I would not shed a tear at my cousin's funeral. It's almost like attachment in a sense was a horrible idea to me, disregarding all the positive feelings I never want anyone to feel so depended on me and have to go through the same negative emotional process.

Obviously a lot has changed since then but I still make a habit of not making too many connections with people if it's not necessary.

Posted by aquasnoz


Obviously a lot has changed since then but I still make a habit of not making too many connections with people if it's not necessary.

This! I find it's easier to keep the walls up at times and keep others at a distance than to invest time, energy & feelings. I am still finding my balance of not giving to much over to others. I invest way to much in my friendships than I think is healthy at times. Then disappointment sets in because I subconsciously put expectations on others to treat me the same, with the same about of energy & effort, and they fail because they aren't wired that way & haven't meet my silly expectation I placed out there. Not saying I let others walk over me, not even close. I have pretty dam high standards and you better understand if I call you friend it means EVERYTGING to me.