@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts
DO U CHECK YOUR S/O'S PHONE?
Interpreting Trust and Boundaries in Relationships
Checking a partner's phone can indicate trust issues or curiosity. It is important to communicate openly about boundaries to maintain trust and understanding in a relationship. Respecting each other's privacy is key, but clarity can prevent misunderstandings.
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why?
why it will be considered hypocritical, i mean ?
Yeah i do have major trust issues, been lied to by one ex and cheated by another. I just cant stand being made a fool of, it drives me nuts. I wanna be the 1st one to know whats up before everyone else does. Now im in detective mode because i wanna find out who she is and what kind of friendship they have. Shah, i'll be a hypocrite because im friends with a male, an ex and my husband isnt too gay about it.
scorpio moon on the loose 😛
to avoid this hypocrisy, isn't it better to maintain a fair and equal exchange of related information, when deemed necessary of course, no one wants to know each and every step the other one has taken through the day.
@ WaterCup
i am sorry to point this out, but my name is shahBano, i know it's a long name, call me Bano or SB then. actually shah is the male name which is part of my name.
sorry about being so finicky i just do not like being called by a man's name.
But im not doing anything with the ex. I dont trust that he wont be doing anything with his new friend, though. I wanna stop this side of myself, but i cant- once it has been awakened, its hard to quiet it down. The suspicions are starting to form already. Any kindness from him, i take it as a sign to try to put me to sleep about his new 'friend'. Ugh!
Posted by WaterCup
And i dont mean snooping. Like, if u two are free enough around each other to let the other use the phone without getting antsy. If u do, do u ask if u notice a new contact of the opposite sex?I just saw a new number in my husband's phone and its a girl's. I asked who it was and he said it was a co-worker, he didnt go any further. My scorpio moon is going crazy at the moment. I want to ask him that out of all his co-workers why this one, but i cant because i'll be a hypocrite. Dammit!
You shouldn't get upset because he has another human being in his phone......to me thats crazyness
So what if it's a woman, to have all men as contacts...sound like some gay ish to me...click to expand
but it's her scorpio moon kicking. LOL
I guess it's kinda inevitable =__=
Posted by WaterCup
But im not doing anything with the ex. I dont trust that he wont be doing anything with his new friend, though. I wanna stop this side of myself, but i cant- once it has been awakened, its hard to quiet it down. The suspicions are starting to form already. Any kindness from him, i take it as a sign to try to put me to sleep about his new 'friend'. Ugh!
you don't "trust" hmn.. by all means do you guys have a history about being with a 3rd party or something?
"TRUST" is very powerful above anything else or so I believe.. TRUST means more than "LOVE".
PHV22, I know its crazy, believe me my aqua side is kicking my arse about it, but i have issues. For a long time i thought an ex's S.O was a sister (he told me so) but instead it was a WIFE and i believed him without questions- its hard for me to believe like that again.
you don't "trust" hmn.. by all means do you guys have a history about being with a 3rd party or something?
.
click to expandthat was an unnecessarily harsh thing to say?
sometimes little bit of insecurities and jealousies are part of relationship and both parties gradually learn to cope with these issues.
no one can trust an other person absolutely, we never know an other person inside out, we all have capacity to lie , to cheat and maneuver things. accepting each other with the knowledge of this dormant capacity is Love.
@unconquered, no he never cheated nor did i, its just me being haunted by the past. I learned to never totally trust from those experiences.
Posted by ShahBano
to avoid this hypocrisy, isn't it better to maintain a fair and equal exchange of related information, when deemed necessary of course,Sure.
But it isn't *necessary* for you to know who's calling me.
I'm glad we got that straightened out.
😉
click to expand
was it an Aqua gurgling or a Leo roaring?
you don't "trust" hmn.. by all means do you guys have a history about being with a 3rd party or something?
.
that was an unnecessarily harsh thing to say?
sometimes little bit of insecurities and jealousies are part of relationship and both parties gradually learn to cope with these issues.
no one can trust an other person absolutely, we never know an other person inside out, we all have capacity to lie , to cheat and maneuver things. accepting each other with the knowledge of this dormant capacity is Love.click to expand"accepting each other with the knowledge of this dormant capacity is Love."
now, this is new to me 🙂
Posted by WaterCup
@unconquered, no he never cheated nor did i, its just me being haunted by the past. I learned to never totally trust from those experiences.
lol, but anyways.. it's just refreshing to see an Aquarius getting jealous.. (thanks scorpio moon) well..
if you don't mind me asking what's his sign?
3Es, i wont be creepy about it, i just want to 'feel' her out, i can smell women who are up to no good. I wanna meet her and do my x-ray on her, no accusations or anything like that
lol if that will make you feel better, do it. 😆
the thought alone can make you feel restless, so I guess you should hear your heart out.
Posted by WaterCup
3Es, i wont be creepy about it, i just want to 'feel' her out, i can smell women who are up to no good. I wanna meet her and do my x-ray on her, no accusations or anything like that
can't you get to meet her, like visit your husband's office on some pretext or some other ways.
Aries are too blunt and straight forward to be sly about anything, but again we all have a capacity to lie ,cheat and hide things.
He is an aries. Thats crap that aquas dont get jealous, its an act that others pull, we just dont let it control us or get out of hand- if u can feel sad or happy, how can u be immune to jealousy when its part of all those emotions?
Yeah S.B, thats what im planning to do tomorrow- i'll be paying them a visit, but im not planning to tell him, i want it to be a surprise when guards are down
Posted by WaterCup
He is an aries. Thats crap that aquas dont get jealous, its an act that others pull, we just dont let it control us or get out of hand- if u can feel sad or happy, how can u be immune to jealousy when its part of all those emotions?
hmn.. I see.. I see.. well I have this problem my venus and mars (almost my chart falls under aqua) and I don't know what I'm feeling at all people calls me detached.
there was a time that the person I like is with somebody else.. but I remained silent lol (I didn't bother myself to feel mad or something)
the weird thing is.. my tears started falling without me being aware. (I was like.. ''My, why am I crying?") 🙂
so.. it's just how much control an aqua have in them.
whoa OAO don't you think he might find it suspicious? that you are suspecting him?
PHV22, I waited close to 2 yrs before getting into another relationship, i waited until i was ready and healed. But sometimes the past doesnt completely go away as it has shown me, i honestly thought i was beyond that. Good for u if u can get over past hurts like it has never happened, but dont u dare expect me to be the same as u r.
lol, Aquarius are known for not forgetting their "FIRST LOVE" I've read about it somewhere..
now, can't blame her.
@unconquered, he works for a cellphone company (he is a technician) and my phone has been giving me problems, he knows about it, but he doesnt have the machinery at home. I'll make a drop off, he wont suspect a thing.
seems legit 🙂
PHV22, I believe in 'shaking the tree' aka testing, to see what will stay or go. If this leads to the end then i will let it be. I dont believe in keeping things safe so that the relationship wont end, im not a desperado. If it sabotages things, then 'things' werent that strong to begin with if thats what it takes to unhinge it.
Thanks Daze, i will check out what i can find about the sun/moon square, but i dont care if he takes the relationship with him. He is way more jealous than me and he does things that take away my freedom too, if he cant take this rare occurance from me then he can kick dust. We have a venus/pluto square in synastry, so these kind of things are bound to happen. Im not relying to astrology when it comes to my relationships, im just saying since we are in an astrology site.
PHV22, Im not boy crazy, loneliness is a life long friend of mine and its always welcomed. I've only been with 3 men (in serious terms), it took me 5yrs to date again after the 1st one and close to 2yrs after 2nd one- relationships arent a priority to me. I doubt i'll ever date after this one, too much hustle.
@Daze, i really have no answer to that. All i know is that i do it and i dont even know why. Im insecure and thats the root of it all.
Posted by DazedScorp
Well, if you don't mind me asking, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to...Why bother attempting to have a relationship, if using manipulation tactics is the only way you feel you can "test" the relationship?
It seems that two years was not quite enough time to heal your heart.
DazedScorp
if a woman is not comfortable with the idea of having a particular female around her husband and she wants to meet her or see/observe her, just to know her body language or sense her general aura, how does it come under the category of manipulation?
i am not debating for the sake of debating, i am genuinely curious about this point you made.
do not we become apprehensive about the company kept by our siblings or cousins etc., it's just a protective, albeit i admit a bit possessive streak.
@Daze, i wasnt always like this, at least not with the other two. I was honest and i thought that they were the same, i was wrong. Now with this one i dont wanna make the same mistake by being too trusting. And i dont 'test' unless i feel reasons to, like now. This has never happened in all the years we have been together, the insecurity thing. I honestly feel that im not relationship material, i hurt too deeply to completely forget and thats not good for any relationship. I carry too much emotional scars to be free in any kind of a relationship. I've tried shrinks and other things, but there's always a distant alarm reminding me to not get too comfortable. I just dont know what to do
Posted by WaterCup
Yeah i do have major trust issues, been lied to by one ex and cheated by another. I just cant stand being made a fool of, it drives me nuts. I wanna be the 1st one to know whats up before everyone else does. Now im in detective mode because i wanna find out who she is and what kind of friendship they have. Shah, i'll be a hypocrite because im friends with a male, an ex and my husband isnt too gay about it.
well WC if he can put on a hoodie, and duck behind some trees to follow you, you can check out this girl.
Posted by WaterCup
PHV22, I know its crazy, believe me my aqua side is kicking my arse about it, but i have issues. For a long time i thought an ex's S.O was a sister (he told me so) but instead it was a WIFE and i believed him without questions- its hard for me to believe like that again.Wow, but with something like this I can see why you would have certain reservations.
click to expand
+1 yea reminds me of that aries who's wife was in the army overseas..that nevermind
Let me just make this clear, i didnt snoop on his phone, we are free with our phones. He knows all my contacts and i know his, i was just interested in the recently added one. I didnt accuse him of anything, i just asked who it was and he told me it was a co-worker and the conversation ended there. Im all miffed because usually he has more to say, but this time he didnt. He asks for family trees of all my contact pers?ns and i think i have a right to know his that deep as well- its how we do it. I will go to his work, not without his knowledge and i'll ask him to introduce me to her if she really just a mere co-worker. I know all others, he knows all mine. I see no harm in doing that
Posted by WaterCup
Yeah S.B, thats what im planning to do tomorrow- i'll be paying them a visit, but im not planning to tell him, i want it to be a surprise when guards are down
sounds like a plan 🙂
Posted by WaterCup
@unconquered, he works for a cellphone company (he is a technician) and my phone has been giving me problems, he knows about it, but he doesnt have the machinery at home. I'll make a drop off, he wont suspect a thing.
🙂 very legit
Posted by WaterCup
Let me just make this clear, i didnt snoop on his phone, we are free with our phones. He knows all my contacts and i know his, i was just interested in the recently added one. I didnt accuse him of anything, i just asked who it was and he told me it was a co-worker and the conversation ended there. Im all miffed because usually he has more to say, but this time he didnt. He asks for family trees of all my contact pers?ns and i think i have a right to know his that deep as well- its how we do it. I will go to his work, not without his knowledge and i'll ask him to introduce me to her if she really just a mere co-worker. I know all others, he knows all mine. I see no harm in doing that
rule of relationships my father taught me (scorpio) : your trust your mate fully until they give you a reason not too.
he hasnt added ANY women to his contact list before..why this girl? why now?
Exactly, chem. He follows me, i would never do such thing to him. If he wants to be treated like a big boy then he must stop treating me like i still shit my pants. Our relationship is ?ne of possessiveness, mainly by him.
My point exactly, chem. Why her and why now? No other female contacts, only his female relatives and my friends (to check up on me through them).
Daze, they work in different departments, i know that because all the technicians there are guys and i've met all of them. I know all the ppl on his floor, i never heard of miss thang's name until today.
rule of relationships my father taught me (scorpio) : your trust your mate fully until they give you a reason not too.
he hasnt added ANY women to his contact list before..why this girl? why now?
It's a coworker.
I have the phone numbers of my coworkers in case I need them to cover for me.
click to expand
but she said he hasnt done this since they have been together. you dont in the least find that uncomforting. not even a little.
its ok if you do it, you probably add a new coworker looking for extra work ever so often, that would be acceptable to her.
but in his case.. out of all the years he work there and never added a female to his list..and no other coworkers are added. why her?
Posted by WaterCup
Daze, they work in different departments, i know that because all the technicians there are guys and i've met all of them. I know all the ppl on his floor, i never heard of miss thang's name until today.So ask him. Aries aren't the best liars.
click to expand
true
Lol chem, i just read your posts egging me on and im already having doubts about the whole thing. If i sense anything from her, my marriage would be over, i dont play like that- im scared to find that out because of my child. I'll have to think about it, but i'll watch this son of a bitch like a hawk.
This is DEF a Scorpio Moon move..lol
I have been guilty of checking phones in the past, but that was because I just didn't trust a flirty sagittarius i was in a long distance relationship with at the time, not to mention during his really long shower his ex (was calling) (he so happens to work in the SAME building as his ex. So YES...INVESTIGATION was a must.
We're not together anymore, but he never knew I looked thru, but the Pisces after me..haha WOKE him up from sleep at 4am in the morning with his phone in her hand demanding answers to know all the WHO's and WHYs...lol
I wouldn't suggest it, but its innate..moon in Scorpios are ALWAYS suspicious in the back of our minds, is that voice that never rests.
New and hot she must be because he didnt add all the other chicks who work at his company. I didnt push too much because he calls me crazy when i push too much for answers. I will find out the truth, i always do and i'll have his balls as pom-poms once i do.
Posted by WaterCup
Lol chem, i just read your posts egging me on and im already having doubts about the whole thing. If i sense anything from her, my marriage would be over, i dont play like that- im scared to find that out because of my child. I'll have to think about it, but i'll watch this son of a bitch like a hawk.
i would say find out about her. but to be honest i dont think he is doing anything wrong. you have a family, i dont believe he would want that to end. but it is a good idea to keep tabs on the woman. and he is an aries, wouldnt he brag about a woman coming on to him— my ex used to do that, i always thought he thought i wasnt paying him enough attention. which i wasnt. i start liking someone else.
anyway i would just see the woman, you said you can tell if she is serpent or not.
Posted by DazedScorp
I'mma back off of this because it's going nowhere...I just warn to watch out for your Moon in Scorpio. Jealously and possesiveness is its game.
yes you are you calmed her down so she wouldnt go there by surprise, and no she second guessing...so yea
Posted by WaterCup
New and hot she must be because he didnt add all the other chicks who work at his company. I didnt push too much because he calls me crazy when i push too much for answers. I will find out the truth, i always do and i'll have his balls as pom-poms once i do.
lol @ balls as pom-poms
Posted by sexifulscorpio
i dont get it, your his wife, you have the right to ask questions, as he has the right to ask you.... but tbh, when men cheat, they dont put a females number in their phone, they memorize it, unless you have A RULE that you cant look into eachothers phone.... i would ask, who is she and why do you have her number? theres always a reason... find out what it is,
+1 she is new and probably hot (WC's words), and if he hasnt added any of the other girls there, why her?
yes you are wife you can ask whatever you want. doesnt matter if he calls you crazy. he has his own crazy behavior ducking in trees.
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And i dont mean snooping. Like, if u two are free enough around each other to let the other use the phone without getting antsy. If u do, do u ask if u notice a new contact of the opposite sex?
I just saw a new number in my husband's phone and its a girl's. I asked who it was and he said it was a co-worker, he didnt go any further. My scorpio moon is going crazy at the moment. I want to ask him that out of all his co-workers why this one, but i cant because i'll be a hypocrite. Dammit!