ready to commit or will never commit?
How to know when an Aquarius man is....
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when the moon is in the seventh house, and jupiter aligns with mars then peace will guide the planets and love with steer the stars.
I wish I could answer this question. I was looking forward to aquarius feedback on this one. Keep in mind every aquarius is different, as in most signs, but I think the differences are more profound in aquarius. Some are flaky, some are grounded, some are more in tune to their emotions.
I have some guesses, but there's no way I could help with this one except for what I've been told. And that information is just in general forms.
From what I understand, the more time they spend with you tells you a lot about their committment level. Time is a precious commodity and aquas are pulled in lots of directions with demands on their time - everybody wants a piece of them. My aqua has complained about this. So, the more time they make for you, tells you how important you are to them.
I've also read on here that indirectly their family will tell you or clue you in to their feelings for you.
Keep in mind, those are just guesses and things I've read here on DXP. There's no way I could answer for the aquas.
I have some guesses, but there's no way I could help with this one except for what I've been told. And that information is just in general forms.
From what I understand, the more time they spend with you tells you a lot about their committment level. Time is a precious commodity and aquas are pulled in lots of directions with demands on their time - everybody wants a piece of them. My aqua has complained about this. So, the more time they make for you, tells you how important you are to them.
I've also read on here that indirectly their family will tell you or clue you in to their feelings for you.
Keep in mind, those are just guesses and things I've read here on DXP. There's no way I could answer for the aquas.
Give us more details about your relationship. How long, etc.
Posted by truecap
I wish I could answer this question. I was looking forward to aquarius feedback on this one. Keep in mind every aquarius is different, as in most signs, but I think the differences are more profound in aquarius. Some are flaky, some are grounded, some are more in tune to their emotions.
I have some guesses, but there's no way I could help with this one except for what I've been told. And that information is just in general forms.
From what I understand, the more time they spend with you tells you a lot about their committment level. Time is a precious commodity and aquas are pulled in lots of directions with demands on their time - everybody wants a piece of them. My aqua has complained about this. So, the more time they make for you, tells you how important you are to them.
I've also read on here that indirectly their family will tell you or clue you in to their feelings for you.
Keep in mind, those are just guesses and things I've read here on DXP. There's no way I could answer for the aquas.
Thank you all! How would their family clue you in? Like what are the signs?
It's so CONFUSING! Like, my aqua will have times where he continually comes around and shows me all the signs that show he is ready for a commitment or at least that he may be falling in deep like or even love, but then he will turn around and become distant (like the next day or week). I try to give him his space but it seems like the more space I give him, the more distant he becomes. He tells me that he has no feelings for me, but the things he says and does for me hint that he may not be truthful about his true feelings. A times where I give other guys attention (b/c he and I are not in a committed relationship) he shows serious signs of anger, jealousy and possession. I feel like I'm caught in the middle because I don't know which way to go. When I ask him about a commitment he never gives me a clear yes or no. I feel like he's stringing me along. I'm thinking that he'll always be this way and I'll be content with moving on but I wish he would just give me a straight answer.
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Give us more details about your relationship. How long, etc.
OK. We knew of each other for years but we have been intimate with each other for about 2 years. He is 9 years older than me btw. Our "relationship" is dysfunctional at best. We have phases when we are happy together etc and then spurts of misunderstandings/upsets and then we disconnect for awhile (maybe 2 days, 2 weeks or even 2 months). I'd say the biggest thing we have going for ourselves is the sex (which is good). In the beginning I thought it was all about sex but then I started to go out with him in public and see how he interacts with other people; I noticed that he's REALLY standoffish with others and not that way at all with me. I realized that the things he did for me or said to me were things he may rarely do or say. Then things got increasingly better, like he began to introduce me to his friends and family and take me out more. He asked to hangout w/ me on Christmas and New Years, which Ii thought was a good sign. In the beginning the sex was pure fucking but then it seemed to be getting more and more emotional. Any advice?
Yes, aquarius is distant and aloof.
If aquarius is anything, it's honest. They are not a sign that will tell you what you want to hear. They will be brutally honest, even if it hurts you, because they aren't going to lie to you.
If he says he has no feelings for you, then believe him.
If aquarius is anything, it's honest. They are not a sign that will tell you what you want to hear. They will be brutally honest, even if it hurts you, because they aren't going to lie to you.
If he says he has no feelings for you, then believe him.
It sounds like he is not going to commit based on your relationship at the moment. If you don't feel like his best friend FIRST, it's just not going to happen.
SEX is just SEX.
This is guess work but i think when they spend more time with you. They value there own space and when they let you in, talk more, link up more thats them showing interest in you alot.
Not every Aqua is the same.. but i feel its how they behave around you. I've figured out my Aqua guy but i dont think hes figured me out. Distance and him being aloof doesnt help at all 😢
Shit!! I miss him
Not every Aqua is the same.. but i feel its how they behave around you. I've figured out my Aqua guy but i dont think hes figured me out. Distance and him being aloof doesnt help at all 😢
Shit!! I miss him
Aquapiscescusp: Well it was just sex in the beginning but then he started to get closer. Like we call each other often to talk about things that are both shallow and deep. And he started including me in other areas of his life too. That's what causes the confusion. But, thank you. I think I'll just look at the situation as that and begin to move on.
Truecap: Thanks! I'll consider that. If he doesn't have feelings, WHYYYYY does he continue to blur the lines/boundaries? Many times in the past, I have cut him off because he was being too confusing and I told him I would rather be friends, but each and every time he comes back.
Truecap: Thanks! I'll consider that. If he doesn't have feelings, WHYYYYY does he continue to blur the lines/boundaries? Many times in the past, I have cut him off because he was being too confusing and I told him I would rather be friends, but each and every time he comes back.
Posted by Angeleyes17
This is guess work but i think when they spend more time with you. They value there own space and when they let you in, talk more, link up more thats them showing interest in you alot.
Not every Aqua is the same.. but i feel its how they behave around you. I've figured out my Aqua guy but i dont think hes figured me out. Distance and him being aloof doesnt help at all 😢
Shit!! I miss him
Yes! I don't think my aquas figured me out either because I don't open up to him (because he's so confusing). I cant decipher general interest from commitment interest.
Hey Cancerlady, just because he comes back, it doesn't mean you have to give it up! 😉
He probably likes you and likes spending time with you, but you're just not "the one".
He blurs the lines/boundaries because you allow him to.
If you move on again and say you'd rather just be friends, then prove it to him by not having sex with him. REAL male/female friends only don't normally have sex. Show him next time that you're not going to keep letting him repeat this pattern, because honestly, it's just not good for you because you start having feelings and get confused every time.
I'm not trying to fuss at you, I'm trying to help you see.
He blurs the lines/boundaries because you allow him to.
If you move on again and say you'd rather just be friends, then prove it to him by not having sex with him. REAL male/female friends only don't normally have sex. Show him next time that you're not going to keep letting him repeat this pattern, because honestly, it's just not good for you because you start having feelings and get confused every time.
I'm not trying to fuss at you, I'm trying to help you see.
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Hey Cancerlady, just because he comes back, it doesn't mean you have to give it up! 😉
Yeah, I know. We don't have sex every time we see each other. And when he shows me that he needs space, I give him space and also take space for myself (A LOT of space); and when he returns I make it a point to abstain from sex with him for awhile. I should probably never have sex with him until I get a commitment, but... But you're totally right!
Posted by truecap
He probably likes you and likes spending time with you, but you're just not "the one".
He blurs the lines/boundaries because you allow him to.
If you move on again and say you'd rather just be friends, then prove it to him by not having sex with him. REAL male/female friends only don't normally have sex. Show him next time that you're not going to keep letting him repeat this pattern, because honestly, it's just not good for you because you start having feelings and get confused every time.
I'm not trying to fuss at you, I'm trying to help you see.
No, fuss at me because I NEED to be fussed at! You're right, right, right!!! I will try my hardest!
It is hard to resist them, though, isn't it? 🙂
You can do it, you're strong!!! Just show him you have character and self respect. Teach him he can't cross your boundaries. Aquas like women who stand up for themselves. They don't want a doormat, they like a strong independent woman who is true to herself.
You can do it, you're strong!!! Just show him you have character and self respect. Teach him he can't cross your boundaries. Aquas like women who stand up for themselves. They don't want a doormat, they like a strong independent woman who is true to herself.
Posted by cancerlady33Posted by aquapiscescusp
Hey Cancerlady, just because he comes back, it doesn't mean you have to give it up! 😉
Yeah, I know. We don't have sex every time we see each other. And when he shows me that he needs space, I give him space and also take space for myself (A LOT of space); and when he returns I make it a point to abstain from sex with him for awhile. I should probably never have sex with him until I get a commitment, but... But you're totally right!click to expand
If it's a commitment you want from him, ask him where he stands on that. If he says he isn't ready, maybe suggest just the friends route and stick to it. He will respect you more and that will cause him to open up. Good luck.
😉 @ Truecap
Yeah, I think he does see me as strong (sometimes he says I act too much like him). I don't contact him, he contacts me. I've never told him I love him. And I don't chase him. That's how I get confused. In my head, I convinced myself that it's just the sex and have tried to leave it at that. But when I act like that he behaves like his feelings are hurt (then I start feeling like I need to show him my softer side because after all, I am interested in him and I don't want to lose him). Then when I show my soft side, he runs away! I feel like I can't win, I can only back off until he fully understands what he wants.
Posted by aquapiscescuspPosted by cancerlady33Posted by aquapiscescusp
Hey Cancerlady, just because he comes back, it doesn't mean you have to give it up! 😉
Yeah, I know. We don't have sex every time we see each other. And when he shows me that he needs space, I give him space and also take space for myself (A LOT of space); and when he returns I make it a point to abstain from sex with him for awhile. I should probably never have sex with him until I get a commitment, but... But you're totally right!
If it's a commitment you want from him, ask him where he stands on that. If he says he isn't ready, maybe suggest just the friends route and stick to it. He will respect you more and that will cause him to open up. Good luck.click to expand
I've asked him about a commitment twice already!!! And each time he says I'm a great person yata yata ya...but he NEVER has given me a clear yes or no. If I ask for a clear yes or no, he will ask if we can talk about it the next day (and disappear the next day) or he'll say he doesn't want to talk about it...this is SO frustrating!
Posted by cancerlady33
ready to commit or will never commit?
you know what? Every man is different. From what I'm guessing of Aquarius men (in very generalized term) you need some FIRE to get it going. If you have some fire in your chart, and they're the type of men who sit around waiting for you, because they are frightened, you need to light a fire under their ass.
Not every Aqua man is the same. From I've researched, even w/ celebrities, they're very different.
Some are super shy and some are bad boys. Some are family men, and some are momma's boys.
"If he doesn't have feelings, WHYYYYY does he continue to blur the lines/boundaries?"
Is he a salesman 🙂?
You are not the only woman left confused by such behaviour. Something similar happened to me recently. Practically, after seven blissful months, in which my Aqua behaved like besotted, obsessed, and by all criteria, in love with me, it suddenly came to an U-turn. While I was looking forward to a future with him, in which we shared "our" things and realized "our" plans, as he used to call them, he let me know -by text message- that he's off to other shores and is "not coming back to me".
He also said -in his last text message-that he didn't love me "the way I said I loved him".
WTF?
I think my Aqua Mercury figured out what happened. He was probably infatuated with me to begin with, then his feelings cooled down, yet he continued to DISPLAY a hot "in love" behaviour! What's more hurtful, he continued to mimic this hot behaviour even during the time he must have made the decision to dump me. Actually, this was the first thought which came to my mind when he dumped me! In my reply,I asked him for a face-to-face meeting, to see "the true you". He agreed, but the breakup meet never took place. He disappeared.
The best advice I could give you is to write all the red flags on paper and also to be aware that "the good things" may not be what they seem. The reason why I asked if he's a salesman (my Aqua was one), is because they are trained to manipulate people! However, it could be that they have learned to mimic a certain lovey-dovey behaviour (which is much appreciated by women and allows him to "score"), rather than to behave according to his real inner feelings (or the lack of them)!
Is he a salesman 🙂?
You are not the only woman left confused by such behaviour. Something similar happened to me recently. Practically, after seven blissful months, in which my Aqua behaved like besotted, obsessed, and by all criteria, in love with me, it suddenly came to an U-turn. While I was looking forward to a future with him, in which we shared "our" things and realized "our" plans, as he used to call them, he let me know -by text message- that he's off to other shores and is "not coming back to me".
He also said -in his last text message-that he didn't love me "the way I said I loved him".
WTF?
I think my Aqua Mercury figured out what happened. He was probably infatuated with me to begin with, then his feelings cooled down, yet he continued to DISPLAY a hot "in love" behaviour! What's more hurtful, he continued to mimic this hot behaviour even during the time he must have made the decision to dump me. Actually, this was the first thought which came to my mind when he dumped me! In my reply,I asked him for a face-to-face meeting, to see "the true you". He agreed, but the breakup meet never took place. He disappeared.
The best advice I could give you is to write all the red flags on paper and also to be aware that "the good things" may not be what they seem. The reason why I asked if he's a salesman (my Aqua was one), is because they are trained to manipulate people! However, it could be that they have learned to mimic a certain lovey-dovey behaviour (which is much appreciated by women and allows him to "score"), rather than to behave according to his real inner feelings (or the lack of them)!
the aquarius men who were with water sun women, the water sun women had FIRE. Leo moon, or Aries Moon, or mars/venus/merc/saturn/jupiter.
or dominant Air women. Like Rebecca Romijn, close to 40% Air.
or dominant Air women. Like Rebecca Romijn, close to 40% Air.
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by cancerlady33
ready to commit or will never commit?
you know what? Every man is different. From what I'm guessing of Aquarius men (in very generalized term) you need some FIRE to get it going. If you have some fire in your chart, and they're the type of men who sit around waiting for you, because they are frightened, you need to light a fire under their ass.
Not every Aqua man is the same. From I've researched, even w/ celebrities, they're very different.
Some are super shy and some are bad boys. Some are family men, and some are momma's boys.click to expand
OMG, I know! And he shows too many sides, too many temperaments!!! But what kind of FIRE are we talking??
Posted by lisabethur8
the aquarius men who were with water sun women, the water sun women had FIRE. Leo moon, or Aries Moon, or mars/venus/merc/saturn/jupiter.
or dominant Air women. Like Rebecca Romijn, close to 40% Air.
(I'm a sag moon!)
Posted by Undine
"If he doesn't have feelings, WHYYYYY does he continue to blur the lines/boundaries?"
Is he a salesman 🙂?
You are not the only woman left confused by such behaviour. Something similar happened to me recently. Practically, after seven blissful months, in which my Aqua behaved like besotted, obsessed, and by all criteria, in love with me, it suddenly came to an U-turn. While I was looking forward to a future with him, in which we shared "our" things and realized "our" plans, as he used to call them, he let me know -by text message- that he's off to other shores and is "not coming back to me".
He also said -in his last text message-that he didn't love me "the way I said I loved him".
WTF?
I think my Aqua Mercury figured out what happened. He was probably infatuated with me to begin with, then his feelings cooled down, yet he continued to DISPLAY a hot "in love" behaviour! What's more hurtful, he continued to mimic this hot behaviour even during the time he must have made the decision to dump me. Actually, this was the first thought which came to my mind when he dumped me! In my reply,I asked him for a face-to-face meeting, to see "the true you". He agreed, but the breakup meet never took place. He disappeared.
The best advice I could give you is to write all the red flags on paper and also to be aware that "the good things" may not be what they seem. The reason why I asked if he's a salesman (my Aqua was one), is because they are trained to manipulate people! However, it could be that they have learned to mimic a certain lovey-dovey behaviour (which is much appreciated by women and allows him to "score"), rather than to behave according to his real inner feelings (or the lack of them)!
OMG THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON! Do you think they themselves are confused about who they truly are or what they truly feel?
Posted by cancerlady33Posted by lisabethur8
the aquarius men who were with water sun women, the water sun women had FIRE. Leo moon, or Aries Moon, or mars/venus/merc/saturn/jupiter.
or dominant Air women. Like Rebecca Romijn, close to 40% Air.
(I'm a sag moon!)click to expand
also, fire /air houses i noticed. Lol =)
Go get 'em girl!! Light a fire under his ass.
And listen to Undine. She knows what she's talking about w/ these men.
I don't know. Because whatever he's done, I can't even call him a player! I don't have the heart to do so!
I'm still in love with the way he presented himself to be. Then I laugh at myself and say I could as well be in love with a fictional character 🙂!
I'm still in love with the way he presented himself to be. Then I laugh at myself and say I could as well be in love with a fictional character 🙂!
Posted by Undine
I don't know. Because whatever he's done, I can't even call him a player! I don't have the heart to do so!
I'm still in love with the way he presented himself to be. Then I laugh at myself and say I could as well be in love with a fictional character 🙂!
lol, right?! I'm his everything, but at the same time, nothing to him. But I got something for his ass!
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by cancerlady33Posted by lisabethur8
the aquarius men who were with water sun women, the water sun women had FIRE. Leo moon, or Aries Moon, or mars/venus/merc/saturn/jupiter.
or dominant Air women. Like Rebecca Romijn, close to 40% Air.
(I'm a sag moon!)
also, fire /air houses i noticed. Lol =)
Go get 'em girl!! Light a fire under his ass.
ON IT!
And listen to Undine. She knows what she's talking about w/ these men.click to expand
Posted by cancerlady33Posted by Angeleyes17
This is guess work but i think when they spend more time with you. They value there own space and when they let you in, talk more, link up more thats them showing interest in you alot.
Not every Aqua is the same.. but i feel its how they behave around you. I've figured out my Aqua guy but i dont think hes figured me out. Distance and him being aloof doesnt help at all 😢
Shit!! I miss him
Yes! I don't think my aquas figured me out either because I don't open up to him (because he's so confusing). I cant decipher general interest from commitment interest.click to expand
At first I didn't open up to him either..eventually i did but to an extent because I don't open up easy to others but with him it was different. I did notice he picked up on the little things about me which really made me feel noticed for the first time. Because of the distance caused the lack of communication he got lazy with messaging me. I guess that's when you know the interest has disappeared. from his ends.. all you do it move on from that..
Posted by cancerlady33Posted by aquapiscescuspPosted by cancerlady33Posted by aquapiscescusp
Hey Cancerlady, just because he comes back, it doesn't mean you have to give it up! 😉
Yeah, I know. We don't have sex every time we see each other. And when he shows me that he needs space, I give him space and also take space for myself (A LOT of space); and when he returns I make it a point to abstain from sex with him for awhile. I should probably never have sex with him until I get a commitment, but... But you're totally right!
If it's a commitment you want from him, ask him where he stands on that. If he says he isn't ready, maybe suggest just the friends route and stick to it. He will respect you more and that will cause him to open up. Good luck.
I've asked him about a commitment twice already!!! And each time he says I'm a great person yata yata ya...but he NEVER has given me a clear yes or no. If I ask for a clear yes or no, he will ask if we can talk about it the next day (and disappear the next day) or he'll say he doesn't want to talk about it...this is SO frustrating!click to expand
He's avoiding the topic. Not a good sign 😢
Cancerlady, What is your definition of commitment?
He might think when you say commitment, you're talking marriage. But, if you mean it to be exclusive dating and not seeing other people, then you two are talking about two different things.
I guess what I'm asking is are you being clear with him on what you're asking?
He might think when you say commitment, you're talking marriage. But, if you mean it to be exclusive dating and not seeing other people, then you two are talking about two different things.
I guess what I'm asking is are you being clear with him on what you're asking?
I appreciate you alls' comments. You all are making good points!
Truecap: I basically see a commitment as a decision/agreement to be mutually exclusive with each other (while giving room for the union to expand with less boundaries). My wording may be a bit off...but...that's how I see it.
And I hope not!!!! Marriage is a HUGE step; if he is thinking along those lines then I can understand why he would run, I would do the same.
Truecap,honestly, I was not clear when I asked. I'll say something like: "What are doing, where are we going with this?" I think part of the problem is that I'm afraid to ask him blunt questions (maybe because I'm afraid of rejection). I think that's a whole new can of worms. Like, we're both emotionally detached and scared of talking about feelings or anything like that. HELP!
Truecap: I basically see a commitment as a decision/agreement to be mutually exclusive with each other (while giving room for the union to expand with less boundaries). My wording may be a bit off...but...that's how I see it.
And I hope not!!!! Marriage is a HUGE step; if he is thinking along those lines then I can understand why he would run, I would do the same.
Truecap,honestly, I was not clear when I asked. I'll say something like: "What are doing, where are we going with this?" I think part of the problem is that I'm afraid to ask him blunt questions (maybe because I'm afraid of rejection). I think that's a whole new can of worms. Like, we're both emotionally detached and scared of talking about feelings or anything like that. HELP!
@CancerLady I am irked to say I can relate to where you're coming from. I'm in a... well I suppose it's fair to say I am bowing out of a similar situation with an Aquarius guy. I agree with the general consensus of communication and setting boundaries and ultimately making sure you always honor and take care of yourself first. I'll also admit that I'm partly hypocritical when I say that >.
Posted by UntamedLeo
@CancerLady I am irked to say I can relate to where you're coming from. I'm in a... well I suppose it's fair to say I am bowing out of a similar situation with an Aquarius guy. I agree with the general consensus of communication and setting boundaries and ultimately making sure you always honor and take care of yourself first. I'll also admit that I'm partly hypocritical when I say that >.
lol, sadly...this is so. Maybe I need to just get drugged up and go for it, lol. How long have you and your aqua been on (or maybe on...and off)?
Well regardless of what action you decide is best for you, I think -some- kind of action should be taken, rather than continuing in a cycle is proving to be unfulfilling.
The Aqua and I haven't been connected for that long although we were just friends for months prior. I'd always suspected he had an interest in me but I was attached so didn't think about it much and he never asserted himself. Some time after I was unattached, BAM.
Now cue the emerging cycle of ultra close (present/assertive/interested) and distant (passive/not initiating/absent). I'd said up front that I wasn't interested in an NSA situation which he respected and we agreed that our connection was originally based on friendship and we wanted to protect that.
But despite wanting to be understanding of cycles/possible emerging or deepening feelings on his part (I'm still leery despite him continuing to possibly open up more every time he comes back), I feel that his words and actions don't match. He seems interested only in intimacy (even if only emotionally), rather than companionship which is what I also need. Otherwise it feels flat and 2-dimensional and I'd already made it clear that's exactly what I wasn't interested in.
I feel like I stated my boundaries early on, and whether he realizes it he's crossing them. So I'm ready to walk away. Just a matter of whether I let him in on it or not >.>
The Aqua and I haven't been connected for that long although we were just friends for months prior. I'd always suspected he had an interest in me but I was attached so didn't think about it much and he never asserted himself. Some time after I was unattached, BAM.
Now cue the emerging cycle of ultra close (present/assertive/interested) and distant (passive/not initiating/absent). I'd said up front that I wasn't interested in an NSA situation which he respected and we agreed that our connection was originally based on friendship and we wanted to protect that.
But despite wanting to be understanding of cycles/possible emerging or deepening feelings on his part (I'm still leery despite him continuing to possibly open up more every time he comes back), I feel that his words and actions don't match. He seems interested only in intimacy (even if only emotionally), rather than companionship which is what I also need. Otherwise it feels flat and 2-dimensional and I'd already made it clear that's exactly what I wasn't interested in.
I feel like I stated my boundaries early on, and whether he realizes it he's crossing them. So I'm ready to walk away. Just a matter of whether I let him in on it or not >.>
Posted by cancerlady33
I appreciate you alls' comments. You all are making good points!
Truecap: I basically see a commitment as a decision/agreement to be mutually exclusive with each other (while giving room for the union to expand with less boundaries). My wording may be a bit off...but...that's how I see it.
And I hope not!!!! Marriage is a HUGE step; if he is thinking along those lines then I can understand why he would run, I would do the same.
Truecap,honestly, I was not clear when I asked. I'll say something like: "What are doing, where are we going with this?" I think part of the problem is that I'm afraid to ask him blunt questions (maybe because I'm afraid of rejection). I think that's a whole new can of worms. Like, we're both emotionally detached and scared of talking about feelings or anything like that. HELP!
see, thats too much pressure. You have to approach aquarius differently. I told mine someone had asked me out but I turned them down because I was only interested in him. It was truth. He said someone offered to cook for him and he turned them down. I said so we're on the same page then. He said looks like it. That was it and we established we were exclusive. Can't guarantee your guy will respond the same, but he will respond with something that will answer your question.
Posted by cancerlady33
ready to commit or will never commit?
You'll know when a man is ready to commit b/c he'll um...commit lol
You'll know when he's not ready to commit b/c well...he won't commit lol
"Want to" is different than "Willing to." And "Want to" is different than "Ready to."
People technically WANT to do things all the time, but are they necessarily able, willing AND ready to? Not necessarily.
Some people hang on to the fact that the other person "wants to" but ignore the signs that point to he/she not being willing OR ready to.
cutting past all the genius posts so far,no. they dont
Your aqua better have a Pisces or cancer moon otherwise you will exhaust him romantically. Cancers are amazing as friends, but this is a crash and burn union.
When I was younger, I attracted cancer men like bees to honey. The first two months of getting to know any cancer friend was great, but after that, they started exhausting me mentally as all they wanted to do was talk about feelings. They were whiny, moody, emotionally manipulative, obsessive and total cry babies and I felt like either a psychiatrist or a tissue. You have no idea how much an air sign runs from display of heavy emotions. Give me your and his chart placements. It's also draining for a cancer to deal with an Aquarius' need for alone time and aloofness.
When I was younger, I attracted cancer men like bees to honey. The first two months of getting to know any cancer friend was great, but after that, they started exhausting me mentally as all they wanted to do was talk about feelings. They were whiny, moody, emotionally manipulative, obsessive and total cry babies and I felt like either a psychiatrist or a tissue. You have no idea how much an air sign runs from display of heavy emotions. Give me your and his chart placements. It's also draining for a cancer to deal with an Aquarius' need for alone time and aloofness.
Posted by MidniteStar
This post reminds me so much of my Aqua sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Venus man from a few years ago. Boy was it a rollercoaster! I'm surprised we lasted 2 years. Oh how I miss that confusing, frustrating witty man! I figured he just could not commit. Turns out, I just wasn't THE ONE. He's married to a nice Aries girl now with a family of his own. Even though I miss him dearly, I can honestly say that I'm happy he's found his happiness. Since knowing him, I have a new appreciation for your Aquas. I used to think you guys didn't feel emotions. Like you all were non human or something...I know, silly right? Even he had a soft and tender side that he began to show the more I got to know him.
"what a nice stroll down memory lane"
What's your sign? And maybe I'm just not 'The One'. But I wish I knew the differences between: don't like, like, something to do to pass the time, strong like, love and The One. But over the weekend I've decided to leave him alone. But it sucks because he's been opening up as the time goes on and I don't know if this is his natural process and I don't want to shut it down before the fireworks happen but at the same time I don't want to torment myself.
With your ex's wife/gf: Do you know how long it took them to call themselves a couple?
Posted by UntamedLeo
Well regardless of what action you decide is best for you, I think -some- kind of action should be taken, rather than continuing in a cycle is proving to be unfulfilling.
The Aqua and I haven't been connected for that long although we were just friends for months prior. I'd always suspected he had an interest in me but I was attached so didn't think about it much and he never asserted himself. Some time after I was unattached, BAM.
Now cue the emerging cycle of ultra close (present/assertive/interested) and distant (passive/not initiating/absent). I'd said up front that I wasn't interested in an NSA situation which he respected and we agreed that our connection was originally based on friendship and we wanted to protect that.
But despite wanting to be understanding of cycles/possible emerging or deepening feelings on his part (I'm still leery despite him continuing to possibly open up more every time he comes back), I feel that his words and actions don't match. He seems interested only in intimacy (even if only emotionally), rather than companionship which is what I also need. Otherwise it feels flat and 2-dimensional and I'd already made it clear that's exactly what I wasn't interested in.
I feel like I stated my boundaries early on, and whether he realizes it he's crossing them. So I'm ready to walk away. Just a matter of whether I let him in on it or not >.>
+1
Posted by truecapPosted by cancerlady33
I appreciate you alls' comments. You all are making good points!
Truecap: I basically see a commitment as a decision/agreement to be mutually exclusive with each other (while giving room for the union to expand with less boundaries). My wording may be a bit off...but...that's how I see it.
And I hope not!!!! Marriage is a HUGE step; if he is thinking along those lines then I can understand why he would run, I would do the same.
Truecap,honestly, I was not clear when I asked. I'll say something like: "What are doing, where are we going with this?" I think part of the problem is that I'm afraid to ask him blunt questions (maybe because I'm afraid of rejection). I think that's a whole new can of worms. Like, we're both emotionally detached and scared of talking about feelings or anything like that. HELP!
see, thats too much pressure. You have to approach aquarius differently. I told mine someone had asked me out but I turned them down because I was only interested in him. It was truth. He said someone offered to cook for him and he turned them down. I said so we're on the same page then. He said looks like it. That was it and we established we were exclusive. Can't guarantee your guy will respond the same, but he will respond with something that will answer your question.click to expand
Actually, we did this before. One time after sex (early on in the beginning) he looked at me and said, "So we're mutually exclusive now, right?" and I said right. And we both smiled at each other. But then, because I have so many male friends (that are strictly male friends and nothing more!) and because I love to have sex (and am very good at it), he assumed I was a slut and then blewup at me and from that moment on, I think he lost his trust in me. He doesn't believe me when I tell him he is the only one I have eyes for etc; he thinks I'm a female player (when that's so far from the truth). And I don't know how to prove it to him. :/ Maybe I should make a new thread about this.
Posted by confuseddlibra
wow OP, I'm literally in almost the exact situation as you are with an aquarius man. message me if you ever need to talk about it. it's crazy how similar our situations are! lol just WOW
Confusedlibra HHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MMMEEEEEEEE! LOL
Posted by krysrenee7Posted by cancerlady33
ready to commit or will never commit?
You'll know when a man is ready to commit b/c he'll um...commit lol
You'll know when he's not ready to commit b/c well...he won't commit lol
"Want to" is different than "Willing to." And "Want to" is different than "Ready to."
People technically WANT to do things all the time, but are they necessarily able, willing AND ready to? Not necessarily.
Some people hang on to the fact that the other person "wants to" but ignore the signs that point to he/she not being willing OR ready to.click to expand
OMGGGGGGGG! What are you, like a psychologist or something? I've read some of your other posts and you hit the nail on the head like everytime! So what do you say I do about this in the meantime? Treat him the way I've been treating him or pull back?
Posted by aquarius09
Your aqua better have a Pisces or cancer moon otherwise you will exhaust him romantically. Cancers are amazing as friends, but this is a crash and burn union.
When I was younger, I attracted cancer men like bees to honey. The first two months of getting to know any cancer friend was great, but after that, they started exhausting me mentally as all they wanted to do was talk about feelings. They were whiny, moody, emotionally manipulative, obsessive and total cry babies and I felt like either a psychiatrist or a tissue. You have no idea how much an air sign runs from display of heavy emotions. Give me your and his chart placements. It's also draining for a cancer to deal with an Aquarius' need for alone time and aloofness.
lol, I TOTALLY understand this. I have many cancer friends and family members and I am constantly ducking and dodging them for this very reason! lol. But I don't fit the typical description of a cancer. I am BIG on giving people their freedom and I may mention my feelings maybe 1-5 times within a year, but I don't suffocate people at all. Almost every guy I've dated ended up stalking me because they said they thought I was up to something and ended up obsessing over catching me in the act (and because they were never able to catch me (because I was never cheating, I was just taking my personal space, they turned psycho). I usually don't call/text/invite my aqua anywhere because I want to give him adequate space (which is probably a large part of the problem). Plus, I have lots of things going on in my life. But now, I'm getting to the point where I want to show him more and vice versus.
Where is your aqua's venus, cancerlady?
Give us your aqua man's chart so I can better assist you.
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