@tbird
14 Years1,000+ PostsPisces
Just out of curiousity...Why do you aquas do this?
Why Aquarians Often Cancel or Miss Meetings
Aquarians value independence and may cancel or miss meetings to preserve their freedom or due to unpredictable schedules. They often prefer spontaneous plans and might avoid commitments they feel restricted by. Understanding their need for space can help prevent misunderstandings about their intentions.
im so notorious for this too. i know it annoys people, but for me, im totally weird when it comes to making plans. i don't like making concrete plans for something on a future date and then feeling obligated to go if i don't feel like it when that time comes. unless it's a wedding i have to RSVP to, then i can understand the more importance of them needing to know if im coming. otherwise, i don't want to feel trapped or tied down to any obligation.
i want to have the freedom to know i can do whatever i want, whenever i want, and i don't want to feel obligated to do anything -- even if i AM most likely going to go after all. n i think b/c aquas have freedom as one of our main traits, mayb we exercise it too much w/ every little thing such as making plans. we're not selfish people, but wen it comes to our freedom i think we can b. i don't think it's as bad as what other people can b selfish over tho. but yeah, i think it's just a freedom thing.
also want to add, as ive gotten older and more aware of this habit, i don't confirm plans unless i know ill go so that way loved ones don't get too pissed off 🙂 instead of saying yes & then flaking, i'll just say "i'll let you know" n then give an answer within a reasonable time, or "so far, yeah i can go". so it's like technically not saying yes or no, so if i do say no u can't get too pissed cuz i didnt give a concrete yes in the beginning lol. i think that has to do w/ the unpredictability trait we have too: maybe we'll be there; maybe we won't.
hope that helped! 🙂
I don't do this either lol.
I usually don't make the plans, and when I'm invited, I make sure I go. (unless the parents say I can't then no, I don't go)
i'd have to go with aqua21, she made me nod all the way. A concrete date ends up feeling like concrete, like u cant move. Sometimes i would agree to something, but then regret it later when im alone- this makes me feel like im under contract, uneasy heavy feeling. The other reason, my mood shifts and i end up not liking the idea of whatever we agreed on, so no show
'we will see' is what i say most of the time. I hate feeling obligated. OK
I do this too. I say yes to something because i want to do it at the time, and then I'll change my mind because i no longer feel like doing it. I don't feel the need to live my life by obligation, I require freedom - and lots of it - so if i don't want to do something I won't. My feeling is that if people are upset at me for cancelling then it's because they've put far too much emphasis on whatever the plan is to enjoy themselves and that's why they're upset - and it's not my responsibility to make them happy (this is a huge burden to me).
If someone cancels plans with me I'm fine with it, I have plenty to do, so I guess i presume others are the same so to me, cancelling a plan is no big deal. Life is just too fucking short to babysit the emotions of other people and do stuff i really don't want to do.
exactly aquANZ, i dont get how ppl can plan ahead of time, how do u know how u will feel at the time? Spur of the moment events are way more interesting and fun. Knowing where and what ur going to do before time kills the excitement, u get bored before any of it actually happens. I dont bother when ppl cancel either, theres always other things to do. ALWAYS
I know it wouldnt justify a damn thing but it's as simple as that aquas are flops. A lot of people don't like flops, and rightfully so of course. Sometimes these flops/unreliability is taken very personally by other signs, not surprised there either.
Sometimes I agree to plans that I don't originally want to attend. I get forced into them and then last minute I excuse myself, but if someone complains as to why I flopped, I would be honest and say that I never wanted to go and I even said no until you pressured me to say yes. Sometimes I agree to go somewhere because at the moment I felt like it, but then when the date rolls around, I'm feeling flaky or no longer feeling that plan, so I flop. I still do that sometimes :s. It is so wrong of me an I'm in the process if changing this dumb habit.
Posted by WaterCup
i'd have to go with aqua21, she made me nod all the way. A concrete date ends up feeling like concrete, like u cant move. Sometimes i would agree to something, but then regret it later when im alone- this makes me feel like im under contract, uneasy heavy feeling. The other reason, my mood shifts and i end up not liking the idea of whatever we agreed on, so no show
i'll regret things later i've agreed to also lol. n im the same as u, everything depends on the mood b/c it can always change. *shrugs* so sue us lol
Posted by NZAqua
If someone cancels plans with me I'm fine with it, I have plenty to do, so I guess i presume others are the same so to me, cancelling a plan is no big deal. Life is just too fucking short to babysit the emotions of other people and do stuff i really don't want to do.
amen to that! lol
Posted by aquaj
I don't do this. Cancelling is my BIGGEST pet peeve. I have ditched a Virgo and a Pisces for this very reason. One too many cancels and you're it.
I concur. Why make the damn date in the first place. Hell, if he was obligated to open his mouth & speak about us getting together, be obligated enough to follow through. It's called being true to your word. When people do that shit to me it makes me not trust them.
Posted by NZAqua
I do this too. I say yes to something because i want to do it at the time, and then I'll change my mind because i no longer feel like doing it. I don't feel the need to live my life by obligation, I require freedom - and lots of it - so if i don't want to do something I won't. My feeling is that if people are upset at me for cancelling then it's because they've put far too much emphasis on whatever the plan is to enjoy themselves and that's why they're upset - and it's not my responsibility to make them happy (this is a huge burden to me).If someone cancels plans with me I'm fine with it, I have plenty to do, so I guess i presume others are the same so to me, cancelling a plan is no big deal. Life is just too fucking short to babysit the emotions of other people and do stuff i really don't want to do.
me too. i feel like doing it at the time i say yes, but if that day went bad or something else, then i dont feel like it.
Posted by NZAqua
I do this too. I say yes to something because i want to do it at the time, and then I'll change my mind because i no longer feel like doing it. I don't feel the need to live my life by obligation, I require freedom - and lots of it - so if i don't want to do something I won't. My feeling is that if people are upset at me for cancelling then it's because they've put far too much emphasis on whatever the plan is to enjoy themselves and that's why they're upset - and it's not my responsibility to make them happy (this is a huge burden to me).If someone cancels plans with me I'm fine with it, I have plenty to do, so I guess i presume others are the same so to me, cancelling a plan is no big deal. Life is just too fucking short to babysit the emotions of other people and do stuff i really don't want to do.
me too. i feel like doing it at the time i say yes, but if that day went bad or something else, then i dont feel like it.
My one Aqua friend has tried to back out on a few occasions (apparently I know now, she gets tired on Friday evenings), but I give her the death stare which I guess she can feel even through the phone and she always ends up coming through🙂
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i gotta aqua friend like you. im pretty sure she can feel that death stare. i feel it all the time with her. 🙂
Posted by tbird
The no call/no show thingy majigy or even the last moment cancel why? Especially when you guys set up the meeting.If you don't wanna then why bring it up? It reminds me of a scene in a movie called School Daze. Lawrence Fishburn was in KFC and the cashier asked: do you want extra-crispy or original? Lawrence replies: Uhh extra-crispy. The cashier replies: We don't have extra-cripsy. (with a glib look on her face) Lawrence replies: Why did you even ask?!!
This is such a good reference. Why even ask?! So please some insight for the non-aquas. Thank you!
I sooo relate to this
My one Aqua friend has tried to back out on a few occasions (apparently I know now, she gets tired on Friday evenings), but I give her the death stare which I guess she can feel even through the phone and she always ends up coming through🙂
lol!
Posted by aquaj
I don't do this. Cancelling is my BIGGEST pet peeve. I have ditched a Virgo and a Pisces for this very reason. One too many cancels and you're it.I concur. Why make the damn date in the first place. Hell, if he was obligated to open his mouth & speak about us getting together, be obligated enough to follow through. It's called being true to your word. When people do that shit to me it makes me not trust them.
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THIS! Oh so this! Now I can get if I made the plans and if he just agreed and then the times comes and he just doesn't feel like it. Okay I get that. I've done it so I'm not going to sue anyone or throw a hissy fit over it.
Now what grates my everlasting nerve is the whole no call thing. When I cancel I'll always let the other know ahead of time or last minute and yes I'll come up with some lame excuse to why I don't wanna go but mostly it's because I'm not feeling it. I wanna be alone. But communication is made, because leaving a person hanging is rude.
WHY make the plans (the aqua) and then completely avoid it like the plague even if the person other requests if plans change let me know so I can plan accordingly. So I can truly relax at home knowing I'm not going out. That's fucking rude as all hell. To me that's a narcossitic trait. To say my time is valuable but your's isn't. How hard is it to send a 2 word text that reads not tonight. Really, honstly? Not that hard. Point would be taken and I would know. That whole no call/no show is such a douchy move to pull, quite honestly.
Like realtalk said if you can expel enough energy to say or text hey lets hang out at this time cause I have time free you should be able to apply enough energy to let the person know hey nah I'm not going to. Seriously that's bullbutter to the max. To me that means your word ain't worth shite which = your dishonest, unreliable and non-trustworthy. Which = you seeing me walk away from you completely and not be sad about it. Twice in 4 days when you iniatite both meet ups is just too much. The douchy factor is in the red.
I just feels like pushing to see what you can get away with at times.
Well that's the way it should be aquaj. I'm like that... I'll say I guess, we will see or maybe. These are key phrases I use all the time, because my moods are ever changing. For instance when he said we can meet Tues after I get out of school. I said I guess we can meet, because I had class that day and another class today. Usually after school I'm just drained and lazy. lol
Thing that sucks is his bday is 2/14 and I already bought him an awesome present. I was looking forward to giving it to him. Now I'm just going to put it on his porch waiting for him when he get's home from school, that is if a vagrant doesn't pick it up first. lol It's not like I can return it. Plus I told myself I would give him a bday present and I always keep my word, even if I don't want to do it. I know how that stuff means to me.
As a mermaid I'll mirror you completely so if he doesn't want to see me fine. I have no such desires now. Right now he can kiss my left cheek. That may change in a week or two since I won't hold grudges they take too much energy, too draining, not worth it, and finally illogical. No one is worth all that effort. Except for Hilter but he's dead so again that's illogical. lol
Right now I won't believe him if he told me a metorite is falling out of the sky towards my head until it penetrates my skull. Even then I would think it was a baseball.
Posted by LittleAquanot
I can relate to a lot of what was said here. I??ll make plans to go somewhere because it sounds fun at the time. But, sometimes, by the time the date rolls around, I'm really not in the mood to go. I literally have give myself a pep talk to follow through. I am an introvert though. So, to be very honest, I prefer my own company to that of anyone else. I have to be in the mood to be social.I always keep the plans though, no matter how unenthusiastic I happen to be. Because I like to be a woman of my word. The only friend I will last minute cancel on is my Aqua best friend because she totally understands. We are identical in this respect. We have last minute cancelled on each other multiple times and, there are absolutely no hard feelings because we get each other.
Last minutes cancelling is alright with me cause I do it myself. But the no call thingy gets under my skin. I'm sorry but it does. Not too much bothers me and I'm naturally a non-judgemental person but that makes me become judgemental cause I cannot stand rude people. No call, esp when you're the one who made the plans = rudeness.
If I want to deal with rude people I would be around my father, but I'm not. I never see him and dread it when his sorry arse comes along. That should tell you something. He's my father... so why would I alter this for a friend? Yeah not going to happen, dude.
(Same exact reasoning as Aquarius21.)
Posted by aquaj
I don't do this. Cancelling is my BIGGEST pet peeve. I have ditched a Virgo and a Pisces for this very reason. One too many cancels and you're it.I concur. Why make the damn date in the first place. Hell, if he was obligated to open his mouth & speak about us getting together, be obligated enough to follow through. It's called being true to your word. When people do that shit to me it makes me not trust them.
THIS! Oh so this! Now I can get if I made the plans and if he just agreed and then the times comes and he just doesn't feel like it. Okay I get that. I've done it so I'm not going to sue anyone or throw a hissy fit over it.
Now what grates my everlasting nerve is the whole no call thing. When I cancel I'll always let the other know ahead of time or last minute and yes I'll come up with some lame excuse to why I don't wanna go but mostly it's because I'm not feeling it. I wanna be alone. But communication is made, because leaving a person hanging is rude.
WHY make the plans (the aqua) and then completely avoid it like the plague even if the person other requests if plans change let me know so I can plan accordingly. So I can truly relax at home knowing I'm not going out. That's fucking rude as all hell. To me that's a narcossitic trait. To say my time is valuable but your's isn't. How hard is it to send a 2 word text that reads not tonight. Really, honstly? Not that hard. Point would be taken and I would know. That whole no call/no show is such a douchy move to pull, quite honestly.
Like realtalk said if you can expel enough energy to say or text hey lets hang out at this time cause I have time free you should be able to apply enough energy to let the person know hey nah I'm not going to. Seriously that's bullbutter to the max. To me that means your word ain't worth shite which = your dishonest, unreliable and non-trustworthy. Which = you seeing me walk away from you completely and not be sad about it. Twice in 4 days when you iniatite both meet ups is just too much. The douchy factor is in the red.
I just feels like pushing to see what you can get away with at times.
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This too!!!! Exactly.
i would never "not call" either. if im flaking, ill always let them know. i dont like being left completely hanging either. @ least w/ flaking & admitting it, an explanation is given so it's still giving good communication and respect. if someone backed out of a plan w/ me i wouldn't be mad if they simply gave a heads up. shit happens, i get it. but the whole no call and no explanation thing... yeah i agree, that's just wrong
Posted by tbird
Thing that sucks is his bday is 2/14 and I already bought him an awesome present. I was looking forward to giving it to him. Now I'm just going to put it on his porch waiting for him when he get's home from school, that is if a vagrant doesn't pick it up first. lol It's not like I can return it. Plus I told myself I would give him a bday present and I always keep my word, even if I don't want to do it. I know how that stuff means to me.
oOo the gift on the porch thing sounds like a nice idea. i like random surprises. maybe he'll like that. lol just sayin 🙂
Posted by aquarius21
i would never "not call" either. if im flaking, ill always let them know. i dont like being left completely hanging either. @ least w/ flaking & admitting it, an explanation is given so it's still giving good communication and respect. if someone backed out of a plan w/ me i wouldn't be mad if they simply gave a heads up. shit happens, i get it. but the whole no call and no explanation thing... yeah i agree, that's just wrong
i never not call either. i always give that courtesy. to not even call is rude.
everybody avoids being labelled as rude by notifying the other party? I dont, i love being rude. Too many ppl are polite, who wants to join yet another clique? If u read about aquarius, aquarius's dark side is rudeness. Why throw that away for a few cookies? Embrace your shadow side. LOL. I'm joking, i call sometimes too (claiming a broken leg or something), i dont if i know i will get an interrogation- thats so annoying, leave me alone dammit, i dont wanna hang with u. Yeesh
Posted by WaterCup
everybody avoids being labelled as rude by notifying the other party? I dont, i love being rude. Too many ppl are polite, who wants to join yet another clique? If u read about aquarius, aquarius's dark side is rudeness. Why throw that away for a few cookies? Embrace your shadow side. LOL. I'm joking, i call sometimes too (claiming a broken leg or something), i dont if i know i will get an interrogation- thats so annoying, leave me alone dammit, i dont wanna hang with u. Yeesh
LOL..broken leg huh...okay..😉
im sure we've all embraced the dark side...like me...if i dont get some freakin coffee soon im gonna go ballistic on someone.
how the hell is the coffee shop not open!
im on the dark side yall its consuming me....help
I don't know if Im qualified to give any advices here because Im guilty a few times about completely forgetting appoinments.Obviously after that I called them and apologized a dozen times. That happened for 2 reasons: I'm an airhead and the people I forgot to see aren't important to me.
I don't know if your Aqua has other reasons but just based on purely generalised astrology about Feb Aqua; I can say that no they won't break their appoinments that easily and if they do, they will inform you. Something must have happened. It could be a really weird reason but just wait and be calm.Also, it'd be good to know if he is dating anyone else.
Posted by exam
I don't know if Im qualified to give any advices here because Im guilty a few times about completely forgetting appoinments.Obviously after that I called them and apologized a dozen times. That happened for 2 reasons: I'm an airhead and the people I forgot to see aren't important to me.
I don't know if your Aqua has other reasons but just based on purely generalised astrology about Feb Aqua; I can say that no they won't break their appoinments that easily and if they do, they will inform you. Something must have happened. It could be a really weird reason but just wait and be calm.Also, it'd be good to know if he is dating anyone else.
+1 this goes for us January babies too.
He's single and we aren't official. He said he was waiting for me to contact him and it was a case of crossed wires. He said he thought I didn't want to meet like I did. He did apologize after a few clarifications had to be made. I drew my line in the sand and told him this type of behavior isn't acceptable and I don't tolerate it from him or anyone else.
Posted by tbird
He's single and we aren't official. He said he was waiting for me to contact him and it was a case of crossed wires. He said he thought I didn't want to meet like I did. He did apologize after a few clarifications had to be made. I drew my line in the sand and told him this type of behavior isn't acceptable and I don't tolerate it from him or anyone else.
+1 thats right bird tell him whats what! 🙂
Posted by tbird
He's single and we aren't official. He said he was waiting for me to contact him and it was a case of crossed wires. He said he thought I didn't want to meet like I did. He did apologize after a few clarifications had to be made. I drew my line in the sand and told him this type of behavior isn't acceptable and I don't tolerate it from him or anyone else.+1 thats right bird tell him whats what! 🙂
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sure nuff! *gigglesnort* He asked why is the onus on him and I said well at the end you don't like the onus to be on you but you have no qualms about me playing the role of atlas. After that line it was over. He apologized. lol. *raises arms* victory!
Posted by tbird
He's single and we aren't official. He said he was waiting for me to contact him and it was a case of crossed wires. He said he thought I didn't want to meet like I did. He did apologize after a few clarifications had to be made. I drew my line in the sand and told him this type of behavior isn't acceptable and I don't tolerate it from him or anyone else.+1 thats right bird tell him whats what! 🙂
sure nuff! *gigglesnort* He asked why is the onus on him and I said well at the end you don't like the onus to be on you but you have no qualms about me playing the role of atlas. After that line it was over. He apologized. lol. *raises arms* victory!
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woot woot *raising arms*
Posted by tbird
He's single and we aren't official. He said he was waiting for me to contact him and it was a case of crossed wires. He said he thought I didn't want to meet like I did. He did apologize after a few clarifications had to be made. I drew my line in the sand and told him this type of behavior isn't acceptable and I don't tolerate it from him or anyone else.+1 thats right bird tell him whats what! 🙂
sure nuff! *gigglesnort* He asked why is the onus on him and I said well at the end you don't like the onus to be on you but you have no qualms about me playing the role of atlas. After that line it was over. He apologized. lol. *raises arms* victory!
woot woot *raising arms*
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bahaha *throws confetti and toots horn* 🙂
Posted by WaterCup
'we will see' is what i say most of the time. I hate feeling obligated. OK
I have an Aqua friend who says this all the time!!!
That's why you don't expect anything from them. The worst offender of flakiness that I know comes from a cap but he pulls the same shit. That's why he's my plan B with any plans. We both win!
Im always overcommitting..Ive learned not to.
Also yeah sometimes we just don't feel like it anymore. But now I just dont commit up front then I dont feel bad letting smeone down.
If its someone I care for deeply, Ill always make it and anything they want to do as a couple. The only time Id flake then is if its something beyond my control.
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The no call/no show thingy majigy or even the last moment cancel why? Especially when you guys set up the meeting.
If you don't wanna then why bring it up? It reminds me of a scene in a movie called School Daze. Lawrence Fishburn was in KFC and the cashier asked: do you want extra-crispy or original? Lawrence replies: Uhh extra-crispy. The cashier replies: We don't have extra-cripsy. (with a glib look on her face) Lawrence replies: Why did you even ask?!!
This is such a good reference. Why even ask?! So please some insight for the non-aquas. Thank you!