Needy Aquarius?

So I am not too versed when it comes to Aquarius traits, but one I believe is to be emotionally detached. Please correct me if I am wrong here. With that being said, my bestfriend of 16 years has recently become very emotionally needy and reliant on me. She's in a hyper dysfunctional relationship, that has a serious amount of red flags. She knows the red flags are there, but keeps on with this hope that things will finally be the fairy-tale story she has built in her head. I kind of just sit there and support her as much as I can.

That being said, because of the insecurities in her relationship, she has become hyper needy in our friendship. Sometimes, I feel like her boyfriend. There are times she blows me up on facebook messenger cause i haven't responded within a few minutes. This can last for a few days at a time, before evening out again. Rinse and repeat. Not only that, I am finding that because she is insecure now, she is saying stuff that seem egotistical. Example, I went out with her and another female mutual friend, and the waiter ended up interested in our mutual friend. My bestfriend's response to that is "That's a first, they always go for me first". She even claimed to have "given" me someone whom I dated in the past, which is not true on any level. Then there is the constant need to be negative about any person I am interested in.

All of these traits have come to fruition since the inception of her current relationship. Let me just say, for anyone else, but her, I would have dropped them in a heartbeat as I HATE clinginess and egotism. But I know that these traits are directly correlated to her suffering relationship, and for 14 years she was the polar opposite of this.

I just don't know how to brooch these issues I have with her before they fester enough to cause me to retreat from her. And I know right now, that she is so reliant on me, that without me there, she'd go down a dark hole. She seems so hyper sensitive about everything said and done now.

Are Aquarius' prone to this extreme behavioral change during times of stress?

Moon & Mars in Aquarius. While the sun sign is attempting to acquire the traits associated with that sign, the moon side has already acquired the traits.

I am detached and won't trust for about a decade; for me to show you my needy side, I really really deeply deeply love and trust you. You have gotten closer than family, so with that said; talk to her very gingerly with a lot of respect and don't mention the boyfriend. Say something to the effect " I don't know the catalyst of the change but recently I have been feeling .......

Say it very kindly, with a lot of respect and use logic, not emotions when expressing yourself.

You are very close and deeply near to her heart so tread lightly.

@Shadowcat - I tried that, she's hyper sensitive about EVERYTHING.

Posted by Smidge
i'm having a very similar problem right now, it's tiring 😢

It is...

once an aqua guy trusts you, you will literally get ALL of his emotions lol

Posted by WaterBearerer
once an aqua guy trusts you, you will literally get ALL of his emotions lol

I don't want them ALL though lol

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by WaterBearerer
once an aqua guy trusts you, you will literally get ALL of his emotions lol

I don't want them ALL though lol

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Well end the relationship and move on.

Personally if I was you, I would just say I'm going through some things and need space on my own and then leave her alone awhile. It seems she's too reliant on you and probably needs to realize you have your own life to deal with.

Ignore her for a while. I do that to my cancer friend when she goes all crabby patty. Then I come back when she is nice and sweet. Friendships have their ups and downs. If you said she is defensive right now then let her wallow in her own misery she is grown she'll be okay.

depends on the chart but yes some are pretty emo

Posted by nikkistar

Are Aquarius' prone to this extreme behavioral change during times of stress?

If there is no outlet for the stress, yes.

Try taking her for walks or the gym to dispel that energy. She's draing it out on you it sounds like. Sometimes, one can't see their own actions or behaviors because they are so focused on other things.

16 years she's been your friend, have you brought this up to her? Yea it may sting at first but friendship should last over a friend telling me , "you're being an idiot douche" and provide examples. All said in a kind and loving way, if you can.

Posted by justagirl

Posted by nikkistar

Are Aquarius' prone to this extreme behavioral change during times of stress?

If there is no outlet for the stress, yes.

Try taking her for walks or the gym to dispel that energy. She's draing it out on you it sounds like. Sometimes, one can't see their own actions or behaviors because they are so focused on other things.

16 years she's been your friend, have you brought this up to her? Yea it may sting at first but friendship should last over a friend telling me , "you're being an idiot douche" and provide examples. All said in a kind and loving way, if you can.

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Here's the problem, she isn't "allowed" to go out anywhere without notifying her boyfriend. Mind you, it's a very long distance relationship. She basically is only allowed to go to work, and come back home.

I usually call her out when she is being unreasonable within her relationship, but anytime I have approached her to tell her my issues, she runs to him. He gets mad cause I am "talking shit", and that will cause issues within our friendship because then he won't "allow" her to hang out for a few weeks. It's a tight rope I am on.

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by justagirl

Posted by nikkistar

Are Aquarius' prone to this extreme behavioral change during times of stress?

If there is no outlet for the stress, yes.

Try taking her for walks or the gym to dispel that energy. She's draing it out on you it sounds like. Sometimes, one can't see their own actions or behaviors because they are so focused on other things.

16 years she's been your friend, have you brought this up to her? Yea it may sting at first but friendship should last over a friend telling me , "you're being an idiot douche" and provide examples. All said in a kind and loving way, if you can.

Here's the problem, she isn't "allowed" to go out anywhere without notifying her boyfriend. Mind you, it's a very long distance relationship. She basically is only allowed to go to work, and come back home.

I usually call her out when she is being unreasonable within her relationship, but anytime I have approached her to tell her my issues, she runs to him. He gets mad cause I am "talking shit", and that will cause issues within our friendship because then he won't "allow" her to hang out for a few weeks. It's a tight rope I am on.

click to expand

Ahh man. How long they been together? That sounds so unhealthy. So she can't go to the gym, the park, the store? Fuck that noise lol