leolioness8784
@leolioness8784
12 YearsLeo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 19 · Topics: 1
Not really sure what to do..
The next morning, everything seemed normal at 1st, we did our usual good morning texts, then about an hour into it, he started giving me 1 word answers. I asked if he was ok, was something wrong, he said no, he was just tired. So I let him be & when I was getting ready for work, he texted this: "We need to slow down. We jump in this way to fast. We haven't know each other that long and we already dating. Do you think we moving to fast." I replied: "I guess things getting heated last night turned you off from me. That's why I don't like to do stuff like that so soon. But I thought that with us dating that it would be different. I'm sorry you think it's too fast, & I'll back off if that's what you want. Just let me know." he said I didn't turn him off, he didn't want to screw things up, things get messed up when it moves fast...then he finally said he is SCARED..It's killing him, he wants ME, but his stomach says different. Its nothing to do with me, he is scared of a relationship.. Here is where I get confused, HE asked me to be his gf, I never pressured him into a relationship. He decided on his own to ask me, I didn't even know that was coming. He said he didn't know why he asked me. That hurt. I said he didn't have to be in a relationship with me, that was up to him, I didn't want him to break up with me, I enjoyed our time together & I really liked him. He said he liked me too, & he was going to push through it. I told him to try to trust me that I wouldn't hurt him & give me the chance to prove that I wont.
He wanted to see me that night but I couldn't bc I had my daughter with me. He said that if he saw me more it might help him not be scared. I told him that I will work on seeing him as much as I can, bc I wanted to be with him too. He then asked me to spend the coming weekend with him. He's even casually mentioned that if he knew me longer, we would move in together, or he'd ask me if I wanted to move in with him...Anyways, I got there friday & everything was GREAT! He had me around his friend, he was talking about us going to his firestation xmas party & what we were bringing etc. That night things got heated again & we had sex. It was great! Lots of passion. After, he cuddled me, was playing with my hair. Then out of the blue he asked me if I was happy. I said, are you? He said I asked you first..I said, I am very happy, are you? He said yes, then we went to sleep.
He wanted to see me that night but I couldn't bc I had my daughter with me. He said that if he saw me more it might help him not be scared. I told him that I will work on seeing him as much as I can, bc I wanted to be with him too. He then asked me to spend the coming weekend with him. He's even casually mentioned that if he knew me longer, we would move in together, or he'd ask me if I wanted to move in with him...Anyways, I got there friday & everything was GREAT! He had me around his friend, he was talking about us going to his firestation xmas party & what we were bringing etc. That night things got heated again & we had sex. It was great! Lots of passion. After, he cuddled me, was playing with my hair. Then out of the blue he asked me if I was happy. I said, are you? He said I asked you first..I said, I am very happy, are you? He said yes, then we went to sleep.
Saturday morning we woke up & got breakfast, he seemed distant, he was quiet, very smart assy in his responses to me. I didn't know how to take it, this was a different person. But I went with it & was still myself, I'd give him random kisses & hugs. But as the day went on I started to put up a wall bc I had NO clue wth was going on..I was scared. We got into bed & of course had sex again, he didn't cuddle me this time after, he turned over. I asked him if he was ok, he said he was tired. So I went to sleep. I woke the next morning, I didn't talk, I felt like something was wrong, like he didn't care about me. So I kept my distance. He took me home, gave me a hug & a quick kiss. I asked if he was going to miss me, he said, maybe. I said I see how it is (jokingly) he said he was just gonna say no bc I didn't beleive him. Anyways, I'm gonna fast forward bc this is getting long (sorry).
That night he broke up with me. He has some financial problems with the IRS. They took money out of his account, & hes been acting funny since then. He gave that as a reason why, he didn't want to drag me into his problems. I tried to fight it, told him I didn't mind what he was going through, I would be there to support him through it all. He didn't budge, he still ended it. I chalked it up to me coming across as "easy". I thought maybe we had sex too soon & he lost respect for me. He said that wasn't it. He said he still wanted to talk. So I thought we could just be friends.
Being friends with him has been super hard for me. He's short, and so distant. I've tried to walk away, but something is holding me here. He now rarely responds to my texts or calls, & he use to always do that. I've told him I think he is scared, bc of the things he has said to me, makes me feel like he is interested, but scared to get hurt. I send him a long text saying how I felt about him, wanting to know if he wanted to start over & be how we were before a relationship, with no pressure of getting into one. just to say yes or no, & again, no response. He is picking & choosing what he wants to answer. I've read that he might need space, that maybe hes testing me, or he likes me a lot & doesn't know how to deal with it. Or, he could of just lost interest. I just want another aqua's opinion on what I should do, or why you think he is acting this way. I asked him if he wanted me to stop calling/texting & he didn't respond last night.
That night he broke up with me. He has some financial problems with the IRS. They took money out of his account, & hes been acting funny since then. He gave that as a reason why, he didn't want to drag me into his problems. I tried to fight it, told him I didn't mind what he was going through, I would be there to support him through it all. He didn't budge, he still ended it. I chalked it up to me coming across as "easy". I thought maybe we had sex too soon & he lost respect for me. He said that wasn't it. He said he still wanted to talk. So I thought we could just be friends.
Being friends with him has been super hard for me. He's short, and so distant. I've tried to walk away, but something is holding me here. He now rarely responds to my texts or calls, & he use to always do that. I've told him I think he is scared, bc of the things he has said to me, makes me feel like he is interested, but scared to get hurt. I send him a long text saying how I felt about him, wanting to know if he wanted to start over & be how we were before a relationship, with no pressure of getting into one. just to say yes or no, & again, no response. He is picking & choosing what he wants to answer. I've read that he might need space, that maybe hes testing me, or he likes me a lot & doesn't know how to deal with it. Or, he could of just lost interest. I just want another aqua's opinion on what I should do, or why you think he is acting this way. I asked him if he wanted me to stop calling/texting & he didn't respond last night.
So I got upset & said he was frustrating me, it was a simple yes or no question, that I was a grown up & didn't play mind games. That grown ups communicate. He said nothing...
Where do I go from here? I miss him, & care deeply for him.
Where do I go from here? I miss him, & care deeply for him.
Here is our charts if it helps?
Me:
rising: Virgo
sun leo
moon sag
mercury virgo
venus leo
mars scorpio
jupiter cap
saturn scorpio
uranus sag
neptune sag
pluto libra
Him:
rising: gemini
sun: aquarious
moon: capricorn
mercury: aquarious
venus: aries
mars: sagittarius
jupiter: Aries
saturn: Capricorn
uranus: sag
nepturn: cap
Pluto: scorpio
Me:
rising: Virgo
sun leo
moon sag
mercury virgo
venus leo
mars scorpio
jupiter cap
saturn scorpio
uranus sag
neptune sag
pluto libra
Him:
rising: gemini
sun: aquarious
moon: capricorn
mercury: aquarious
venus: aries
mars: sagittarius
jupiter: Aries
saturn: Capricorn
uranus: sag
nepturn: cap
Pluto: scorpio
It could be a few things
1. He's a player. He meets women on the internet, tells them everything they want to hear, treats them like a princess. tells them a bunch of empty promises (talks about marriage/moving in, etc.), swoops her off her feet & keeps up the momentum until he finally gets them in bed.
He might make these women his official "girlfriend" or might even use the "L" word...whatever he think it'll take for him to get what he wants. He has sex with them a few times & then BOOM, all of the "sudden" he starts acting funny & distant.
Instead of of being honest about the fact that it was all a lie & facing the drama/fall out from that, he'd just rather slowly but surely ease out of the situation. The text/calls/responses start to become non-existent, slowly but surely. He plays it off like he's just "scared" or that he feels they've "rushed," not b/c he's actually scared but b/c it's his way of completely dumping a woman through means of reverse psychology.
Oldest trick in the book. Make a woman think that he's the problem so that she won't deem him an Ahole & so that if he wanted to ever have sex again, she'd most likely be open to at, b/c of her happiness to have gotten him "back" again. He'd rather leave women hanging in the moment of passion b/c he knows that women will just sit at home, do what you're doing, not see through his bullsh**t & still yearn for more from him.
This about women works in his favor b/c if he ever wants to come back for sex, he knows that her door will be open, just on the strength that she's glad he finally came back. If he does come back, he'll do what it takes to get her guard down enough to have sex with her again. And then BOOM, he'll disappear again. It won't be until the woman actually catches on & realizes his "game" that she'll finally get smart & cut him off for good. Once he realizes that you've caught on, he'll no longer have any reason to contact you b/c the game is over & he's probably already onto the next female.
1. He's a player. He meets women on the internet, tells them everything they want to hear, treats them like a princess. tells them a bunch of empty promises (talks about marriage/moving in, etc.), swoops her off her feet & keeps up the momentum until he finally gets them in bed.
He might make these women his official "girlfriend" or might even use the "L" word...whatever he think it'll take for him to get what he wants. He has sex with them a few times & then BOOM, all of the "sudden" he starts acting funny & distant.
Instead of of being honest about the fact that it was all a lie & facing the drama/fall out from that, he'd just rather slowly but surely ease out of the situation. The text/calls/responses start to become non-existent, slowly but surely. He plays it off like he's just "scared" or that he feels they've "rushed," not b/c he's actually scared but b/c it's his way of completely dumping a woman through means of reverse psychology.
Oldest trick in the book. Make a woman think that he's the problem so that she won't deem him an Ahole & so that if he wanted to ever have sex again, she'd most likely be open to at, b/c of her happiness to have gotten him "back" again. He'd rather leave women hanging in the moment of passion b/c he knows that women will just sit at home, do what you're doing, not see through his bullsh**t & still yearn for more from him.
This about women works in his favor b/c if he ever wants to come back for sex, he knows that her door will be open, just on the strength that she's glad he finally came back. If he does come back, he'll do what it takes to get her guard down enough to have sex with her again. And then BOOM, he'll disappear again. It won't be until the woman actually catches on & realizes his "game" that she'll finally get smart & cut him off for good. Once he realizes that you've caught on, he'll no longer have any reason to contact you b/c the game is over & he's probably already onto the next female.
Okay. I'm not an aqua, I'm a cap with an aqua boyfriend. Here's what I see.
He basically needed space to deal with his IRS problem plus he felt like things were moving too fast. That's when you should back off and let them breathe, let them deal with their problems, give them their freedom. It's not easy I'm sure as you're a Leo, but they need to know that you understand their need for space and you're not going to freak out by it and go all insecure or clingy. Clinginess is a deal breaker for an aqua. They like independent, secure, confident women who can deal with their eccentricities and especially their desire for freedom.
It seems to me, that once he started mentioning this need to slow down, he sensed that you were starting to freak out. Aquas sometimes move fast in the beginning, then they re-evaluate and distance themselves to think and analyze, then they start back up again all recharged and ready to go. Anywhere during that process, if they feel you are clinging tighter or freaking out, the less likely they will come back.
When you didn't understand, he broke it off.
He basically needed space to deal with his IRS problem plus he felt like things were moving too fast. That's when you should back off and let them breathe, let them deal with their problems, give them their freedom. It's not easy I'm sure as you're a Leo, but they need to know that you understand their need for space and you're not going to freak out by it and go all insecure or clingy. Clinginess is a deal breaker for an aqua. They like independent, secure, confident women who can deal with their eccentricities and especially their desire for freedom.
It seems to me, that once he started mentioning this need to slow down, he sensed that you were starting to freak out. Aquas sometimes move fast in the beginning, then they re-evaluate and distance themselves to think and analyze, then they start back up again all recharged and ready to go. Anywhere during that process, if they feel you are clinging tighter or freaking out, the less likely they will come back.
When you didn't understand, he broke it off.
I told him I was fine with slowing down, gave him the option of if he wanted to break things off then & there. He kept saying he didn't know...that he wanted me, but was scared. I went with his pace, I didn't push anything. Just told him how I felt & ultimately that it was his choice.
I really hope he didn't use me, but it seems there is a strong possibility that was it.
I've decided not to contact him today, to just leave him be & if he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch with me. I really hope that I stick to it bc I deserve better than this.
I have tried to be understanding of all of this, maybe by asking him so many questions or opening up to him about how I feel pushed him away... Idk, just feeling heartbroken.
I really hope he didn't use me, but it seems there is a strong possibility that was it.
I've decided not to contact him today, to just leave him be & if he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch with me. I really hope that I stick to it bc I deserve better than this.
I have tried to be understanding of all of this, maybe by asking him so many questions or opening up to him about how I feel pushed him away... Idk, just feeling heartbroken.
OR...
2. He fell for you in the moment of passion when you 2 first met. This is rare for Aquarius, so when it happens, we may give in in the actual moment, but will be a wreck the next morning once things have calmed down. He might hate that his heart got ahead of his head for once in his life. Although he likes this b/c it feels real, refreshing & passionate, he also resents it b/c his heart overruling his head is something that is out of his comfort zone & is probably not what he's experienced with other women.
So he withdraws so that he can watch the battle of his heart vs. his head play out in his own mind. Like a child, he goes into the corner, pouts to himself & tries figuring out which of these warriors will win the battle. He wants to be alone & unseen during this battle b/c something in him fears that he'll be judged and/or misunderstood once others see that this epic battle going in within him can actually consume him so much that it temporarily disables him.
During the battle b/w heart vs. head, he's weighing all of the disadvantages & advantages. His biggest insecurities & fears come out. He thinks about his past, all the people who have ever hurt him & if he even trusts his own judgment of whose right for him anymore. If he's been wrong about a lot of women for him in the past, you will either lose this battle OR the battle will go on for a lot longer.
Then he's gotta include all of the current problems he's going through outside of this battle b/w heart & head that's related to you. Financial problems. Family issues. Trust issues. Whatever the case. As an Aquarius, he takes relationships/commitment seriously...not only b/c he's terrified of being hurt, but b/c he's terrified of being 1 of "those people" who signs up for something so serious & yet it fail b/c of his OWN inadequacies. His fears more losing someone/something he cares for b/c it's HIS fault, moreso than it being the other's fault.
It won't be until he's weighed everything in his mind that he'll make a final decision. And that decision is usually final. If he feels that he's doing you a favor OR himself a favor by not committing, then he won't commit & will apologetically back out. The fact that he knows this is really upsetting to the woman just makes him even more distant b/c he hates seeing sadness in others if he's the very one to have caused it.
It might be awhile before he comes back full force like he was in the beginning. If he never comes back, then
2. He fell for you in the moment of passion when you 2 first met. This is rare for Aquarius, so when it happens, we may give in in the actual moment, but will be a wreck the next morning once things have calmed down. He might hate that his heart got ahead of his head for once in his life. Although he likes this b/c it feels real, refreshing & passionate, he also resents it b/c his heart overruling his head is something that is out of his comfort zone & is probably not what he's experienced with other women.
So he withdraws so that he can watch the battle of his heart vs. his head play out in his own mind. Like a child, he goes into the corner, pouts to himself & tries figuring out which of these warriors will win the battle. He wants to be alone & unseen during this battle b/c something in him fears that he'll be judged and/or misunderstood once others see that this epic battle going in within him can actually consume him so much that it temporarily disables him.
During the battle b/w heart vs. head, he's weighing all of the disadvantages & advantages. His biggest insecurities & fears come out. He thinks about his past, all the people who have ever hurt him & if he even trusts his own judgment of whose right for him anymore. If he's been wrong about a lot of women for him in the past, you will either lose this battle OR the battle will go on for a lot longer.
Then he's gotta include all of the current problems he's going through outside of this battle b/w heart & head that's related to you. Financial problems. Family issues. Trust issues. Whatever the case. As an Aquarius, he takes relationships/commitment seriously...not only b/c he's terrified of being hurt, but b/c he's terrified of being 1 of "those people" who signs up for something so serious & yet it fail b/c of his OWN inadequacies. His fears more losing someone/something he cares for b/c it's HIS fault, moreso than it being the other's fault.
It won't be until he's weighed everything in his mind that he'll make a final decision. And that decision is usually final. If he feels that he's doing you a favor OR himself a favor by not committing, then he won't commit & will apologetically back out. The fact that he knows this is really upsetting to the woman just makes him even more distant b/c he hates seeing sadness in others if he's the very one to have caused it.
It might be awhile before he comes back full force like he was in the beginning. If he never comes back, then
It might be awhile before he comes back full force like he was in the beginning. If he never comes back, then it means that he either wasn't comfortable enough with his own ability to commit (which is him sparing you your time & doing YOU a favor) OR he's not courageous enough to trust that you'd do the right thing with his heart. He knows that it's possible for people to start over, but he's not kidding himself b/c it's very hard to start on level 10 in the passion meter & go backwards & yet the relationship/friendship still be fulfilling. He knows that once the momentum stops, it's hard to get it back.
If he DOES come back, you'll still probably notice little things that indicate that he's still going through this battle (heart vs. head), BUT him coming back means that YOU won that battle (final decision) & from there, you'll notice that him being distant & seeming "off" will slowly but surely start to go away.
If he DOES come back, you'll still probably notice little things that indicate that he's still going through this battle (heart vs. head), BUT him coming back means that YOU won that battle (final decision) & from there, you'll notice that him being distant & seeming "off" will slowly but surely start to go away.
OR 3. He has a girlfriend/wife at home & felt guilty for sleeping with you. Hence the reason he didn't want anyone to know you were together online. Hence the reason he switched up on you so suddenly & so aggressively RIGHT after sex. Some men go into it with all the passion, balls & willingness in the world, but after it actually happens, they feel guilty & it shows!
The kinds of men who are players or whom cheat aren't usually very "honest" people. So he might've given you the IRS story to cover up for the real source of where his distance/problem really is
What's MOST important here is for you to follow your gut instinct/intuition. If it's telling you that he most likely just played/used you, believe it. If it's telling that you that he's just a commitment-phobe that got caught up in the moment but then went back to his true colors afterwards, then believe it & DON'T wait on him. If it's telling you that he'll be back once the battle of heart vs. head is over, then wait.
But only wait IF you can emotionally afford to take the risk of him never coming back even though you waited. For some women, waiting only to realize that it was all for nothing is 10'xs MORE painful than him originally disappearing the 1st time was! If you can afford to take the risk of waiting, while knowing that you may or may not get the end results you wanted, then go for it. If you can't afford to take that risk, then own that, don't apologize for not being willing to & move on!
The kinds of men who are players or whom cheat aren't usually very "honest" people. So he might've given you the IRS story to cover up for the real source of where his distance/problem really is
What's MOST important here is for you to follow your gut instinct/intuition. If it's telling you that he most likely just played/used you, believe it. If it's telling that you that he's just a commitment-phobe that got caught up in the moment but then went back to his true colors afterwards, then believe it & DON'T wait on him. If it's telling you that he'll be back once the battle of heart vs. head is over, then wait.
But only wait IF you can emotionally afford to take the risk of him never coming back even though you waited. For some women, waiting only to realize that it was all for nothing is 10'xs MORE painful than him originally disappearing the 1st time was! If you can afford to take the risk of waiting, while knowing that you may or may not get the end results you wanted, then go for it. If you can't afford to take that risk, then own that, don't apologize for not being willing to & move on!
Posted by leolioness8784
I told him I was fine with slowing down, gave him the option of if he wanted to break things off then & there. He kept saying he didn't know...that he wanted me, but was scared. I went with his pace, I didn't push anything. Just told him how I felt & ultimately that it was his choice.
I really hope he didn't use me, but it seems there is a strong possibility that was it.
I've decided not to contact him today, to just leave him be & if he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch with me. I really hope that I stick to it bc I deserve better than this.
I have tried to be understanding of all of this, maybe by asking him so many questions or opening up to him about how I feel pushed him away... Idk, just feeling heartbroken.
Doesn't really sound to me like he was using you.
I think you're smart not to keep contacting him. Because if you keep trying, it will appear clingy and needy. Let him breathe, but meanwhile, just keep going on with your life. Date other people, go out with your friends. Whatever you do, don't kick yourself or feel like you did anything wrong. I didn't mean to imply I thought you did, just a possible scenario if he thought you weren't understanding. If you hear from him be friendly, happy to hear from him and confident. Doesn't mean you have to be a doormat, just be a positive person.
Maybe in a couple of weeks send him something off the wall or funny to let him know no hard feelings and you're still friendly. Sometimes, they like for someone to come after them when they "disappear". I've seen them say it on this board.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Maybe this is a good weeding out process in that you can decide whether he's right for you or not. ??
Thank you so much for you insight. I know that 3 isn't a possibility, but 1&2 are very much so.
There is just something about him that makes me want to wait & see where this goes. Any other guy, I would be like SCREW YOU & move on to the next one. But him, he gives me a feeling I haven't ever known, & it's actually quite painful to miss him. I can literally feel it in my chest. I just wish that I could help him see that I am not out to hurt him, I want to understand him, I want to know him & be his best friend & accept everything about him. I just want him to somehow know, that if he really is scared, that his heart & everything else is safe with me. I have been hurt so many times, I know how it feels, & I always treat ppl with care. But I feel like if I just tell him everything I feel, he is going to run away farther.
There is just something about him that makes me want to wait & see where this goes. Any other guy, I would be like SCREW YOU & move on to the next one. But him, he gives me a feeling I haven't ever known, & it's actually quite painful to miss him. I can literally feel it in my chest. I just wish that I could help him see that I am not out to hurt him, I want to understand him, I want to know him & be his best friend & accept everything about him. I just want him to somehow know, that if he really is scared, that his heart & everything else is safe with me. I have been hurt so many times, I know how it feels, & I always treat ppl with care. But I feel like if I just tell him everything I feel, he is going to run away farther.
Thanks Truecap! I will def try that in a few weeks if I don't hear from him. 🙂
Here is a convo we had when we were dating. This is why I think he is scared. Or am I reading too much into it?
Me-You like me more than you want me to know, don't you? Lol
him-Maybe
me-There ain't no maybe to it lol i may be wrong, but I think I can tell
him-Oh really now
me-Yep.. Bc you are probably feeling stuff you are scared to feel, so that's why you wanted to slow down, bc you don't want to get hurt again. You told me when we first met that when you fall, you fall hard. I'm not saying you've fell for me, but I think you're scared that you will. But that's just my opinion
him-Kinda.
me-What's that mean? Lol
him-Thats how I feel
me-You kinda feel like that?
him-Yea. Is that bad
me-Ok, at least I'm kinda right lol
him-Yea kinda
me-Nope, not bad at all
him-K good
me-Do you wanna know how I feel? Or do you already know
him-How do u feel
me-I could easily fall for you. I'm comfortable around you, I love laying with you & kissing you. I'm always looking in your eyes trying to figure out what you're thinking. I look forward to seeing you & get happy when I do. I love talking to you & just want to spend as much time as I can with you
him-That what I'm thinking too
Me-You like me more than you want me to know, don't you? Lol
him-Maybe
me-There ain't no maybe to it lol i may be wrong, but I think I can tell
him-Oh really now
me-Yep.. Bc you are probably feeling stuff you are scared to feel, so that's why you wanted to slow down, bc you don't want to get hurt again. You told me when we first met that when you fall, you fall hard. I'm not saying you've fell for me, but I think you're scared that you will. But that's just my opinion
him-Kinda.
me-What's that mean? Lol
him-Thats how I feel
me-You kinda feel like that?
him-Yea. Is that bad
me-Ok, at least I'm kinda right lol
him-Yea kinda
me-Nope, not bad at all
him-K good
me-Do you wanna know how I feel? Or do you already know
him-How do u feel
me-I could easily fall for you. I'm comfortable around you, I love laying with you & kissing you. I'm always looking in your eyes trying to figure out what you're thinking. I look forward to seeing you & get happy when I do. I love talking to you & just want to spend as much time as I can with you
him-That what I'm thinking too
Posted by leolioness8784
I told him I was fine with slowing down, gave him the option of if he wanted to break things off then & there. He kept saying he didn't know...that he wanted me, but was scared. I went with his pace, I didn't push anything. Just told him how I felt & ultimately that it was his choice.
I really hope he didn't use me, but it seems there is a strong possibility that was it.
I've decided not to contact him today, to just leave him be & if he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch with me. I really hope that I stick to it bc I deserve better than this.
I have tried to be understanding of all of this, maybe by asking him so many questions or opening up to him about how I feel pushed him away... Idk, just feeling heartbroken.
Well, I'm guilty of this myself. I am so happy to be in a relationship, and like the title... then as it progresses, I wonder if it's what I really want, but by that time, we're already official, they've already made space for me at their place for my things...hahahah! No offense, but reading your posts, I would want to push you away also, and I have when this has happened.
It seems like you became clingy and asked way too many questions for my taste. Nothing is worse then someone asking you constantly if you are ok all of the time. Or jumping to conclusions when you ask for space. I had an ex, he was awesome, we were awesome, but I asked for space. I needed time to myself for clarity, things were going super fast. In a span of 3 months, he had moved to my hometown to be closer. He too asked if I wanted to break up, I told him not at all, I just needed to breath. Well, here comes the truck load of questions and the constant texts, calling and emails. I ended up breaking it off with him. It was such a turn off.
Don't get me wrong, I'm female, I'm emotional... I'm guilty of over analyzing myself, but when the tables are turned... I'm not having it. My advice to you, would be to stop asking him questions, stop texting him (maybe shoot him a text a week or something just saying hi, but thats it) and let him come to you when he is ready and if he wants to. I understand the need to cling to something when you feel it is being lost or distant, but this only back fires.
Of course you miss him! This guy swooped in & swept you off of your feet before you could see it coming!
So don't feel bad, guilty or apologize for missing him. Any woman in your shoes would feel the exact same way you're feeling right now.
That's the 1 disadvantage of passion. Some people can't handle it. It's too strong & unlike what they've ever experienced so they run from it. You'd think that people would jump at the opportunity to finally feel that way about someone but unfortunately, some people run further away when this happens.
Plus, remember, he's a man lol A lot of men clam up & get scared when things start to get too hot & heavy. They like feeling like their emotions are in control. They don't mind it when their testosterone (horny) is raging & is out of control lol but when it comes to emotions? It's not as wired in them to run towards the light when emotions/passions get high like women do.
It's not that men don't want a girl who's loyal, ride or die & who will be his best friend. All men want that when they're thinking long term, but all of them may not necessarily wanna see it up front. If it seems too good to be true, they'll find every possible reason to run. And if there's any other issues going on in their personal life, they'll use that as a cover to hide behind.
BUT if this guy is ready and/or capable of having a committed relationship, he'll be back. If he concludes that you're worth the risk, he'll come back. Either way, whatever he decides will be in YOUR favor. If he comes back, you get the man & the passion that you wanted! If he never comes back, your time is spared from being wasted. Win/Win
So don't feel bad, guilty or apologize for missing him. Any woman in your shoes would feel the exact same way you're feeling right now.
That's the 1 disadvantage of passion. Some people can't handle it. It's too strong & unlike what they've ever experienced so they run from it. You'd think that people would jump at the opportunity to finally feel that way about someone but unfortunately, some people run further away when this happens.
Plus, remember, he's a man lol A lot of men clam up & get scared when things start to get too hot & heavy. They like feeling like their emotions are in control. They don't mind it when their testosterone (horny) is raging & is out of control lol but when it comes to emotions? It's not as wired in them to run towards the light when emotions/passions get high like women do.
It's not that men don't want a girl who's loyal, ride or die & who will be his best friend. All men want that when they're thinking long term, but all of them may not necessarily wanna see it up front. If it seems too good to be true, they'll find every possible reason to run. And if there's any other issues going on in their personal life, they'll use that as a cover to hide behind.
BUT if this guy is ready and/or capable of having a committed relationship, he'll be back. If he concludes that you're worth the risk, he'll come back. Either way, whatever he decides will be in YOUR favor. If he comes back, you get the man & the passion that you wanted! If he never comes back, your time is spared from being wasted. Win/Win
Posted by RaeofSunPosted by leolioness8784
I told him I was fine with slowing down, gave him the option of if he wanted to break things off then & there. He kept saying he didn't know...that he wanted me, but was scared. I went with his pace, I didn't push anything. Just told him how I felt & ultimately that it was his choice.
I really hope he didn't use me, but it seems there is a strong possibility that was it.
I've decided not to contact him today, to just leave him be & if he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch with me. I really hope that I stick to it bc I deserve better than this.
I have tried to be understanding of all of this, maybe by asking him so many questions or opening up to him about how I feel pushed him away... Idk, just feeling heartbroken.
Well, I'm guilty of this myself. I am so happy to be in a relationship, and like the title... then as it progresses, I wonder if it's what I really want, but by that time, we're already official, they've already made space for me at their place for my things...hahahah! No offense, but reading your posts, I would want to push you away also, and I have when this has happened.
It seems like you became clingy and asked way too many questions for my taste. Nothing is worse then someone asking you constantly if you are ok all of the time. Or jumping to conclusions when you ask for space. I had an ex, he was awesome, we were awesome, but I asked for space. I needed time to myself for clarity, things were going super fast. In a span of 3 months, he had moved to my hometown to be closer. He too asked if I wanted to break up, I told him not at all, I just needed to breath. Well, here comes the truck load of questions and the constant texts, calling and emails. I ended up breaking it off with him. It was such a turn off.
Don't get me wrong, I'm female, I'm emotional... I'm guilty of over analyzing myself, but when the tables are turned... I'm not having it. My advice to you, would be to stop asking him questions, stop texting him (maybe shoot him a text a week or something just saying hi, but thats it) and let him come to you when he is ready and if he wants to. I understand the need to cling to something when you feel it is being lost or distant, but this only back fires.click to expand
Thank you! That makes a l
oops it cut off lol I said thank you that makes a lot of sense!
I made the mistake of pushing him too hard I'm beginning to realize. I don't know him so well, bc things moved super fast, so I didn't know that asking questions would push him away. had I known that, I would of eased up a ton. Or went about it a different way. I really hope that I didn't push him away completely, but I guess only time will tell...
I agree with RaeOfSun. No matter how much they like you, men don't like feeling like a woman is trying to pick their brains a part. It scares them off. They like sorting out their emotions on their own. It's true. Women jump into love; men accidentally fall in love. It's not so much accidental if every thought you're having is conscious, talked about & is coordinated.
Of course you meant no harm. You did everything a woman does when she feels so special. Ironically, he's doing everything a man does when he feels that someone is trying to draw premature emotions out of him. Both of you are doing 2 completely different things, BUT both are you are naturally reacting to things in ways that is natural to self in these situations
Of course you meant no harm. You did everything a woman does when she feels so special. Ironically, he's doing everything a man does when he feels that someone is trying to draw premature emotions out of him. Both of you are doing 2 completely different things, BUT both are you are naturally reacting to things in ways that is natural to self in these situations
Is there anything I can do to redeem myself? Or is giving him space the only thing to do. If I tried to explain what I've said here, do you think that would push him over the edge? lol
Posted by krysrenee7
Of course you miss him! This guy swooped in & swept you off of your feet before you could see it coming!
So don't feel bad, guilty or apologize for missing him. Any woman in your shoes would feel the exact same way you're feeling right now.
That's the 1 disadvantage of passion. Some people can't handle it. It's too strong & unlike what they've ever experienced so they run from it. You'd think that people would jump at the opportunity to finally feel that way about someone but unfortunately, some people run further away when this happens.
Plus, remember, he's a man lol A lot of men clam up & get scared when things start to get too hot & heavy. They like feeling like their emotions are in control. They don't mind it when their testosterone (horny) is raging & is out of control lol but when it comes to emotions? It's not as wired in them to run towards the light when emotions/passions get high like women do.
It's not that men don't want a girl who's loyal, ride or die & who will be his best friend. All men want that when they're thinking long term, but all of them may not necessarily wanna see it up front. If it seems too good to be true, they'll find every possible reason to run. And if there's any other issues going on in their personal life, they'll use that as a cover to hide behind.
BUT if this guy is ready and/or capable of having a committed relationship, he'll be back. If he concludes that you're worth the risk, he'll come back. Either way, whatever he decides will be in YOUR favor. If he comes back, you get the man & the passion that you wanted! If he never comes back, your time is spared from being wasted. Win/Win
Thank you! That makes me feel better 🙂
Aquarius here...
"start to think that maybe in the future, my search for my partner had ended. "
That was a huge red flag for you to SLOW DOWN, you don't know this man and to see him in your future was you being impulsive and reacting to his impulsive behavior. If it's too good to be true it is.
"I called him & we talked & I asked if it was facebook official, he said sure. So I went on fb & requested to be in a relationship with him."
Way too fast, you needed someone to slow you down, if he could as you to be his gf surely he would eventually make it official on fb.
It's your job to slow things down, a man will go as fast as we allow them to. I tell women don't hurry up to get it wrong, if it's really real today it will be real 6 months to a year from now so take your time to get it right.
He was moving fast but so were you, this was bound to crash and burn.
"r I had some texts from him. They said: "I was going wait till a month and see how it goes before I do that."
That was your queue to stop seeing him for a little while, continue getting to know him and go back to your usual single life routine. Hard to slow down when things are going so fast but the pay off is you both get to continue getting to know one another.
So many mistakes you've displayed here. You allowed him to lead and then you pick up and take over that lead by behaving as if FB relationship status is important, more important than developing a stronger bond with him.
You shirked off your boundaries and standards for a FEELING and a lot of women get burned doing that.
You're boundaries are in place for a reason, they are there to prevent the kind of mistakes you are making.
What we women typically do is we mistake the feelings a man is making us feel as real. Here he is feeding you a bunch of tired lines about his feelings (some of it real some of it bs) and you lost control of the interaction between both of you and once that typically happens, once a man sense he can have you with words he loses interest.
Your responsibility is to slow things down even when he's expressing he wants more to keep things balanced.
Too many times we women lose control over ourselves just to have a man too fast/too soon and it reeks of desperation.
If you display lack of control over his "I gotta have you" behavior he'll figure you have low self esteem, needy, desperate and any man can come into his territory and do the same thing.
He provided 2 valid excuse
"start to think that maybe in the future, my search for my partner had ended. "
That was a huge red flag for you to SLOW DOWN, you don't know this man and to see him in your future was you being impulsive and reacting to his impulsive behavior. If it's too good to be true it is.
"I called him & we talked & I asked if it was facebook official, he said sure. So I went on fb & requested to be in a relationship with him."
Way too fast, you needed someone to slow you down, if he could as you to be his gf surely he would eventually make it official on fb.
It's your job to slow things down, a man will go as fast as we allow them to. I tell women don't hurry up to get it wrong, if it's really real today it will be real 6 months to a year from now so take your time to get it right.
He was moving fast but so were you, this was bound to crash and burn.
"r I had some texts from him. They said: "I was going wait till a month and see how it goes before I do that."
That was your queue to stop seeing him for a little while, continue getting to know him and go back to your usual single life routine. Hard to slow down when things are going so fast but the pay off is you both get to continue getting to know one another.
So many mistakes you've displayed here. You allowed him to lead and then you pick up and take over that lead by behaving as if FB relationship status is important, more important than developing a stronger bond with him.
You shirked off your boundaries and standards for a FEELING and a lot of women get burned doing that.
You're boundaries are in place for a reason, they are there to prevent the kind of mistakes you are making.
What we women typically do is we mistake the feelings a man is making us feel as real. Here he is feeding you a bunch of tired lines about his feelings (some of it real some of it bs) and you lost control of the interaction between both of you and once that typically happens, once a man sense he can have you with words he loses interest.
Your responsibility is to slow things down even when he's expressing he wants more to keep things balanced.
Too many times we women lose control over ourselves just to have a man too fast/too soon and it reeks of desperation.
If you display lack of control over his "I gotta have you" behavior he'll figure you have low self esteem, needy, desperate and any man can come into his territory and do the same thing.
He provided 2 valid excuse
Posted by leolioness8784
I made the mistake of pushing him too hard I'm beginning to realize. I don't know him so well, bc things moved super fast, so I didn't know that asking questions would push him away. had I known that, I would of eased up a ton. Or went about it a different way. I really hope that I didn't push him away completely, but I guess only time will tell...
Don't be too hard on yourself... just learn from it. I forgot to mention in my post earlier, that the reason why I questioned if it was what I really wanted, wasn't because I didn't necessarily not care for the person, but I freak myself out. Will this be forever if he is the one? Do I want to be in this and committed or do I want my freedom to do what I want when I want and not think about someone else? I'm not a huge fan of change, I like my routine... so it is scary for me to think that my life may change and possibly forever... :-)
Redemption... we all want it when we screw up. Don't explain, in my experience, I've found that men don't care too much for words of explanation, but prefer redemption through actions...(not stating all, but the men I have encountered). I personally like explanations, so that I understand where they are coming from, but I'm a woman :-) We are wired differently.
Just give him the space that he needs, show him by your actions that you are willing to respect his request. When he is ready, he will come to you, or if he doesn't...like Krys said, he did you a favor and gave you the gift of time... by not wasting it. When you start to feel down or that you want to text/call him... take some deep breaths and focus on something that makes you feel warm and fuzzy...keep doing that for those moments. It's a day by day thing, but before you know it... you will be stronger.
Posted by leolioness8784
Is there anything I can do to redeem myself? Or is giving him space the only thing to do. If I tried to explain what I've said here, do you think that would push him over the edge? lol
You have to show them you can roll with the flow. Just give him some space right now.
Thanks everyone! Everyone's opinion is greatly appreciated. I am just going to give him space. I will keep you updated on how it goes... 🙂
He provided 2 valid excuses (scared/irs) but you see a man that really want you will not lay all his problems at your feet, the last thing he'd want you to see and think is he can't manage his life But if you take him on knowing he can't manage his life he'll think you're desperate/needy because who wants a man who doesn't have his shit together.
A man that is into you will not lead you on/lead you into love and then turn around and drop you with an excuse, valid or invalid.
The moment he pulled back on the FB thing(knowing what I know now), told me he was scared I'd have dropped him. Why? Because he's demonstrated he's emotionally unavailable.
I'm married now but I've had my fair share of assclowns and I've made mistakes and poor judgments because he seemed so into me in the beginning only to fall short somewhere along the way so I know how you feel.
Do not contact him again, delete him on facebook, delete his number and learn from this error of judgment. Don't worry about him and his feelings b/c he's gone.
No more explaining, no more whining with questions about what's wrong with him. You have to demonstrate to him you have a certain level of common sense and dignity.
He's not that bad actually, he at least gave you closure so close the door and stop seeing your future with him.
He'll be back, men that don't know what they want don't want what they have, he's a flip flopper so he'll run hot and cold but it's your responsibility to not allow him to pull you along and drop you again.
A man that is into you will not lead you on/lead you into love and then turn around and drop you with an excuse, valid or invalid.
The moment he pulled back on the FB thing(knowing what I know now), told me he was scared I'd have dropped him. Why? Because he's demonstrated he's emotionally unavailable.
I'm married now but I've had my fair share of assclowns and I've made mistakes and poor judgments because he seemed so into me in the beginning only to fall short somewhere along the way so I know how you feel.
Do not contact him again, delete him on facebook, delete his number and learn from this error of judgment. Don't worry about him and his feelings b/c he's gone.
No more explaining, no more whining with questions about what's wrong with him. You have to demonstrate to him you have a certain level of common sense and dignity.
He's not that bad actually, he at least gave you closure so close the door and stop seeing your future with him.
He'll be back, men that don't know what they want don't want what they have, he's a flip flopper so he'll run hot and cold but it's your responsibility to not allow him to pull you along and drop you again.
Thank you, probably words I needed, but didn't want to hear. I needed my bubble busted, so I can come back down to reality & face the cold hard truth.
Damn Tiki! You hit it right on the head!!!! Good work girl! =P
Thanks Krys 😄
Leo: Yeah you can do better, you will better at this and next time slow down.
The red flag in your situation and so many other women's situation is he's fast.
The fast part is the RED FLAG, usually it means he has low emotional intelligence and the inability to form a long term connection.
Women get confused and twisted when men go fast and that is what "going fast" is meant to do, it's meant to overwhelm her so much she can't think, she's heady over the idea of love, she loses control over herself, put her guard down, chunk her standards and boundaries aside and he's gone shortly after.
The foundation was shaky to begin with. When attraction fades/changes he's gone.
Fast and furious and out the door a couple weeks/months later is the usual pattern with men who go in fast. This is something you MUST take into consideration or you'll be the one feeling burned.
There are exceptions but not all women are the exception to the rule, you weren't the exception.
It's best to remain neutral with a man until you know exactly where he's coming from and where/what he's trying to lead you into.
If you can't leave him alone he's going to remix this same behavior again, just keep that in mind.
Leo: Yeah you can do better, you will better at this and next time slow down.
The red flag in your situation and so many other women's situation is he's fast.
The fast part is the RED FLAG, usually it means he has low emotional intelligence and the inability to form a long term connection.
Women get confused and twisted when men go fast and that is what "going fast" is meant to do, it's meant to overwhelm her so much she can't think, she's heady over the idea of love, she loses control over herself, put her guard down, chunk her standards and boundaries aside and he's gone shortly after.
The foundation was shaky to begin with. When attraction fades/changes he's gone.
Fast and furious and out the door a couple weeks/months later is the usual pattern with men who go in fast. This is something you MUST take into consideration or you'll be the one feeling burned.
There are exceptions but not all women are the exception to the rule, you weren't the exception.
It's best to remain neutral with a man until you know exactly where he's coming from and where/what he's trying to lead you into.
If you can't leave him alone he's going to remix this same behavior again, just keep that in mind.
Wow! Good points, Tiki.
I'll never, ever complain again that my aqua is slllloooowwww. 🙂
I'll never, ever complain again that my aqua is slllloooowwww. 🙂
And yes, I know, too slow isn't good either. 🙂
Posted by tiki33
Thanks Krys 😄
Leo: Yeah you can do better, you will better at this and next time slow down.
The red flag in your situation and so many other women's situation is he's fast.
The fast part is the RED FLAG, usually it means he has low emotional intelligence and the inability to form a long term connection.
Women get confused and twisted when men go fast and that is what "going fast" is meant to do, it's meant to overwhelm her so much she can't think, she's heady over the idea of love, she loses control over herself, put her guard down, chunk her standards and boundaries aside and he's gone shortly after.
Yep. Or he's going fast b/c he's a PLAYER & this is a tool they often use! But they swoop in so fast, you wouldn't even know what's hit ya!
I agree TrueCap too slow isn't good either. As long as the relationship is moving forward every 6 months to a year then it's moving at a healthy pace.
One of the things I see so many women doing including me when I was single is we are engaged in a mans feelings way too much and it makes us women look needy, desperate, controlling because we wanna know so we can help him,involve ourselves in his fears and fix it.
Many of us are not needy but so many of us are taught wrong and/or taught to do what feels natural to us but for a lot of men it all feels suffocating and controlling.
We are taught to ask questions, to ask what's wrong.
From my own learning experience and moving from single to married I had to understand men to some degree which led me into understanding how to let go mentally and emotionally when it involves his emotional issues.
One really important piece of information I had to understand and learn is his feelings are his, it's his responsibility to mend, fix, change, heal, overcome emotional obstacles so when a woman is in his emotional space he'll turn off and turn on her as if she's problem instead of focusing on the real problem, him.
When he said he was scared how I would have dealt with that is to back off and go do something with someone who isn't scared, let him figure it out without me interfering. If he's scared I definitely wouldn't have sex with him because sex would make him panic even more.
Leo did what felt natural to her but notice what felt natural to her scared him off.
He went from leading her into love to turning heel and running away.
She has to get an understanding of her own relationship patterns and relationship habits, which includes understanding her blind spot. If going fast is her blind spot then work on creating some healthy boundaries to avoid this with the next guy or the next guy will do the same thing this guy did.
Krys & True...voices of reason, you both are awesome 😄
One of the things I see so many women doing including me when I was single is we are engaged in a mans feelings way too much and it makes us women look needy, desperate, controlling because we wanna know so we can help him,involve ourselves in his fears and fix it.
Many of us are not needy but so many of us are taught wrong and/or taught to do what feels natural to us but for a lot of men it all feels suffocating and controlling.
We are taught to ask questions, to ask what's wrong.
From my own learning experience and moving from single to married I had to understand men to some degree which led me into understanding how to let go mentally and emotionally when it involves his emotional issues.
One really important piece of information I had to understand and learn is his feelings are his, it's his responsibility to mend, fix, change, heal, overcome emotional obstacles so when a woman is in his emotional space he'll turn off and turn on her as if she's problem instead of focusing on the real problem, him.
When he said he was scared how I would have dealt with that is to back off and go do something with someone who isn't scared, let him figure it out without me interfering. If he's scared I definitely wouldn't have sex with him because sex would make him panic even more.
Leo did what felt natural to her but notice what felt natural to her scared him off.
He went from leading her into love to turning heel and running away.
She has to get an understanding of her own relationship patterns and relationship habits, which includes understanding her blind spot. If going fast is her blind spot then work on creating some healthy boundaries to avoid this with the next guy or the next guy will do the same thing this guy did.
Krys & True...voices of reason, you both are awesome 😄
That's true about a capricorn moon ^^. I have one. It's a sucky placement because you can easily freeze those feelings. Doesn't mean you don't have them, but you can pause them, for lack of better wording. A capricorn moon is sensitive, cautious, critical, cold in a business like way and a very tough emotional shield to crack. Sad to say, you have to really work hard to prove yourself worthy of prying that crack open. HOWEVER, once that shell is opened, a capricorn moon is loyal, affectionate, protective, loving and a wonderfully supportive partner.
Thanks Tiki! You're awesome too! And you have NO IDEA how much you helped me in the beginning of this relationship. I took everything you said to heart and figured out ye speaketh the truth! I feel like I have learned from the best!!
Its either not to be or not the right time to be with each other despite feelings involved
Usually you know if its right for you and if its not then dont get into it
If a guy doesnt like a girls straightup forwardness then its obvious to be a learning session in what he does like
Usually you know if its right for you and if its not then dont get into it
If a guy doesnt like a girls straightup forwardness then its obvious to be a learning session in what he does like
Ok...So...he texted me yesterday, but it was VERY short..What move do I make now? lol
What does this mean? Any help would be appreciated!! I know hes been "stalking" my facebook, he commented via text about a pic I posted & he sounded a bit jealous..
What does this mean? Any help would be appreciated!! I know hes been "stalking" my facebook, he commented via text about a pic I posted & he sounded a bit jealous..
Answer him, be friendly, but be the first one to end the conversation. The last part is very important. Only put out as much effort as he is. Be mysterious and don't let him think you're sitting around waiting on his attention. Plan a bunch of fabulous activities and let him know you're living a fun life and you're independent (not dependent on him and not needy for his attention).
Yes fast and furious may be the way it is today and this is the reason why people never learn anything about themselves or anyone else anyone ever stop to wonder about hard and fast and what it means to them, I have found out that it is the only way to learn what you like and not like. All this talk of oh he/she must be playing you if they do this and that, when in actual fact they are trying damn hard to find out what the fuck they are about themselves and really dont need illmannered advice from well intentioned ppls such as yourselves. If I sat here listening to each and following every one of your advices I would def end up in the nut house. Thankfully I have a brain which I use to not listen to everyone else and realise what this advice is for, entertainment value only and ideas for everything else.
Excuse me but when did 'love' ever become a 'game' when it is obviously isnt, you all think and play this, this is something I have problem in understanding. Ok so obvious people have a need of being with others that lasts only however long, who are you to say that this is right or wrong when it is what it is and that hey if you meet someone you like and fuck them and then feel like you dont want to be with them that is the way it is. Oh and also if you like someone and hook up and it ends up in a year or more 'relationship' so be it. Too many people complicate their lives with this needing to control others to a 'relationship' or whatever coz they cant see it for what it really is. This is why i like to be by myself and not get tangled up in other peoples perception of what they think is as to what actually is.
I see no problem in how he was upfront and honest in his need for space and problems with things. I see no problem in her wanting to be with him all the time either. Obviously they have problems which people have problems they must deal with and this is a part of life what I dont like is that people come in here and act like they know everything about this 'couple' and give 'advice' to others they know nothing of.
Also I realised quickly when I was little what the world and its people are truely like so when I hear of people trying to do what they say they arent doing to me I think yes its all got to do with money or other such things which brings me to the next point. I've seen too many people sell themselves out due to money and I hope for your sake and that of others you shall remain strong and not sell yourself out and oh be honest lik
Excuse me but when did 'love' ever become a 'game' when it is obviously isnt, you all think and play this, this is something I have problem in understanding. Ok so obvious people have a need of being with others that lasts only however long, who are you to say that this is right or wrong when it is what it is and that hey if you meet someone you like and fuck them and then feel like you dont want to be with them that is the way it is. Oh and also if you like someone and hook up and it ends up in a year or more 'relationship' so be it. Too many people complicate their lives with this needing to control others to a 'relationship' or whatever coz they cant see it for what it really is. This is why i like to be by myself and not get tangled up in other peoples perception of what they think is as to what actually is.
I see no problem in how he was upfront and honest in his need for space and problems with things. I see no problem in her wanting to be with him all the time either. Obviously they have problems which people have problems they must deal with and this is a part of life what I dont like is that people come in here and act like they know everything about this 'couple' and give 'advice' to others they know nothing of.
Also I realised quickly when I was little what the world and its people are truely like so when I hear of people trying to do what they say they arent doing to me I think yes its all got to do with money or other such things which brings me to the next point. I've seen too many people sell themselves out due to money and I hope for your sake and that of others you shall remain strong and not sell yourself out and oh be honest lik
Yes fast and furious may be the way it is today and this is the reason why people never learn anything about themselves or anyone else anyone ever stop to wonder about hard and fast and what it means to them, I have found out that it is the only way to learn what you like and not like. All this talk of oh he/she must be playing you if they do this and that, when in actual fact they are trying damn hard to find out what the fuck they are about themselves and really dont need illmannered advice from well intentioned ppls such as yourselves. If I sat here listening to each and following every one of your advices I would def end up in the nut house. Thankfully I have a brain which I use to not listen to everyone else and realise what this advice is for, entertainment value only and ideas for everything else.
Excuse me but when did 'love' ever become a 'game' when it is obviously isnt, you all think and play this, this is something I have problem in understanding. Ok so obvious people have a need of being with others that lasts only however long, who are you to say that this is right or wrong when it is what it is and that hey if you meet someone you like and fuck them and then feel like you dont want to be with them that is the way it is. Oh and also if you like someone and hook up and it ends up in a year or more 'relationship' so be it. Too many people complicate their lives with this needing to control others to a 'relationship' or whatever coz they cant see it for what it really is. This is why i like to be by myself and not get tangled up in other peoples perception of what they think is as to what actually is.
I see no problem in how he was upfront and honest in his need for space and problems with things. I see no problem in her wanting to be with him all the time either. Obviously they have problems which people have problems they must deal with and this is a part of life what I dont like is that people come in here and act like they know everything about this 'couple' and give 'advice' to others they know nothing of.
Also I realised quickly when I was little what the world and its people are truely like so when I hear of people trying to do what they say they arent doing to me I think yes its all got to do with money or other such things which brings me to the next point. I've seen too many people sell themselves out due to money and I hope for your sake and that of others you shall remain strong and not sell yourself out and oh be honest lik
Excuse me but when did 'love' ever become a 'game' when it is obviously isnt, you all think and play this, this is something I have problem in understanding. Ok so obvious people have a need of being with others that lasts only however long, who are you to say that this is right or wrong when it is what it is and that hey if you meet someone you like and fuck them and then feel like you dont want to be with them that is the way it is. Oh and also if you like someone and hook up and it ends up in a year or more 'relationship' so be it. Too many people complicate their lives with this needing to control others to a 'relationship' or whatever coz they cant see it for what it really is. This is why i like to be by myself and not get tangled up in other peoples perception of what they think is as to what actually is.
I see no problem in how he was upfront and honest in his need for space and problems with things. I see no problem in her wanting to be with him all the time either. Obviously they have problems which people have problems they must deal with and this is a part of life what I dont like is that people come in here and act like they know everything about this 'couple' and give 'advice' to others they know nothing of.
Also I realised quickly when I was little what the world and its people are truely like so when I hear of people trying to do what they say they arent doing to me I think yes its all got to do with money or other such things which brings me to the next point. I've seen too many people sell themselves out due to money and I hope for your sake and that of others you shall remain strong and not sell yourself out and oh be honest lik
and oh be honest like I know you will and are you'll be right if you do this anything else is just great I guess.
MFW, get off your high horse.
People come to DXP seeking different opinions on their situation. Everyone has a different opinion and we give our best advice/opinion based on the information given. No one expects that they take all the advice given - that is absolutely possible.
The person asking can take the different viewpoints and angles and opinions and find somewhere midline of all of them and then make a decision that fits their situation and their personality. And if they decide to do their own thing, then that is what's best for them. No one here is forcing someone to do anything. What works for one, won't work for another. We're all different.
I like to take a little bit of everyone's thoughts and combine it to a solution that works best for me.
We all come from different backgrounds, generations, experiences and cultures and that is what makes this site work. I have learned so much from different people's perspective and I feel like a more well rounded person because of it.
To each their own.
People come to DXP seeking different opinions on their situation. Everyone has a different opinion and we give our best advice/opinion based on the information given. No one expects that they take all the advice given - that is absolutely possible.
The person asking can take the different viewpoints and angles and opinions and find somewhere midline of all of them and then make a decision that fits their situation and their personality. And if they decide to do their own thing, then that is what's best for them. No one here is forcing someone to do anything. What works for one, won't work for another. We're all different.
I like to take a little bit of everyone's thoughts and combine it to a solution that works best for me.
We all come from different backgrounds, generations, experiences and cultures and that is what makes this site work. I have learned so much from different people's perspective and I feel like a more well rounded person because of it.
To each their own.
*impossible
Mfw are you male or female?
You appear threatened by the information provided. You don't have to minimize what others have said to appear relevant.
If what you're saying is relevant to her it'll stand alone without minimizing what we've said.
When you minimize what we say that makes you look insecure and incompetent, your information comes across as invalid when you appear threatened by the information provided.
She came here for everyone's insight including yours.
I'm sure she's intelligent enough to know what parts of the information provided applies to her and her situation and the parts that don't apply to her she can do away with, it's really that simple.
You appear threatened by the information provided. You don't have to minimize what others have said to appear relevant.
If what you're saying is relevant to her it'll stand alone without minimizing what we've said.
When you minimize what we say that makes you look insecure and incompetent, your information comes across as invalid when you appear threatened by the information provided.
She came here for everyone's insight including yours.
I'm sure she's intelligent enough to know what parts of the information provided applies to her and her situation and the parts that don't apply to her she can do away with, it's really that simple.
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