Overwhelmed by emotions.. how do fellow aquas deal?

Hey aquas. I am having a really hard time right now. I very seldom try to rely on others for emotional support, but when I do need them it's nearly impossible for me to explain, I flounder and get overwhelmed by the emotions. I will most likely close this thread as I don't typically make threads at all. Buy any advise you can give would be helpful, anyone can contribute. Just thought aquas might understand my feeling of being overwhelmed with the emotions part.

When it comes to my relationships I'm the rock you can say. I try to have good communication but when I'm super emotional it comes out all fucked up. So I will try my best to explain the stuff going on.

Mother's Day is one of the worst days for me second to when I lost my first and so far only child and I get lost in a turmoil of emotions. I start strong every year but I become emotionally overwhelmed and then numb. I've done the grief counciling. I always try to communicate what is going on with me to those closest to me, but I either shut down completely or I'm a blubbering mess and they are wondering wtf if wrong with the strong person I normally am. This year was exceptionally bad, Not one person in my life reached out to me and I felt like an island. Maybe I just place too many expectations on others but I honestly don't think that's the case.

Maybe I don't really need an advise but more a place to put these emotions down. I don't know right now. I'm sitting on my office at work trying not to break down and pretend everything is fine, when it's not.

I know a few others on dxp have dealt with this situation and maybe we can share what ways to "deal" I dunno. I just hate feeling so alone and that is how I feel right now.

Sorry it's so long and mostly turned into a rambling post... but I needed to get this out.

You know I am always here to lend a shoulder to, without judgement. The first step to dealing with the emotions you are currently experiencing, are to share them. And if you believe you cannot verbalize it in a way, to communicate it the way you want to, try writing an email or letter to explain it. I know you do this already, when you want to rant. But having an outlet, that you can form in writing is probably so good for you.

Not every strong person can remain strong ALL the time. Even the strongest need to break from time to time. But being numb does nothing but isolate the emotions. Whether good or bad, those emotions are what make you human.

At the end of the day, you have my number. And I will ALWAYS be there when you need me, because like I told you before, I truly appreciate and value our friendship.

I'm sorry that your going thru such a hard time and given what you have been thru I would say that the feelings you have are normal.. If you ever need to talk I'm here 🙂

I think when dealing with grief emotional stability is hardest to maintain because we are not ready to let go, when you hold on to someone you love in your heart after they are gone it's quite easy to become triggered with emotions when it's a certain day or when someone says something or if you smell something familiar emotions just just flair up and you're in the moment just dealing with them and no one knows what you're going through.

This girl I know her birthday is on Mother's Day and her mother died 3 years ago, we were at work and everyone was giving her hugs and kisses but I gave her the biggest hug and I had tears in my eyes because I knew her mum passed and I really felt my heart was being crushed knowing every time she had to hear happy Mother's Day.

I really feel for you, sorry for your loss.

I don't have any advice on how to deal with emotions but you must be so strong to deal with what you're going through, I value people highly on their character and what they're made of

thanks guys. I appreciate what you've said.

my partial way of healing was visiting Mt. Rainier every year when I lived in Seattle and spending the day there with my best friend and just being. the last time I got to go was 2 years ago maybe I just need to book a flight and take a trip up there.

I dunno. I feel like such a silly crybaby right now and I just want to laugh and joke around. In otherwords, avoid my emotions.

I guess I'm a shmuck as well for not reaching out and letting others know what has been going on with me, I just shut down and don't know how to, so I kick myself for this shit.

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by justagirl

Sometimes letting yourself be in the moment, just letting it all out, and not "staying strong" for just a moment.. is the best way to become stronger.

Attempting to repress the emotions just makes for a greater fall in the long run.

Just my two cents..

Best wishes

click to expand

Logically I understand this! Emotionally I don't know how to let go and not be strong. It's ingrained in me and part of who I am.

Posted by justagirl
...

Logically I understand this! Emotionally I don't know how to let go ...

chemically, astrologically, geometrically and chronologically everything has and end (well, bangers have too ends). so there's no need to be strong or control or whatever. cause tears end, moods change, tasks say hello, people call.

I'm very sorry for your loss and what you go through since that time.

Dates and events connected to losses can affect me too, and it can be hard to open up.

I once scared a friend of mine by crying because she had never seen me cry before -- she assumed I was too strong to cry. But, in the end, it helped her, because she felt weak for being a person who cried a lot, so to see a person she thought was strong cry made a difference.

I find sometimes that a ritual of some kind is helpful, like your visits to Mount Rainier.



I found this cool gif of Mount Rainier National Park - mystical effect







And this one, which brings to my mind the song 'Bridge Over Troubled Water.'

Posted by CopperDove
I'm very sorry for your loss and what you go through since that time.

Dates and events connected to losses can affect me too, and it can be hard to open up.

I once scared a friend of mine by crying because she had never seen me cry before -- she assumed I was too strong to cry. But, in the end, it helped her, because she felt weak for being a person who cried a lot, so to see a person she thought was strong cry made a difference.

I find sometimes that a ritual of some kind is helpful, like your visits to Mount Rainier.



I found this cool gif of Mount Rainier National Park - mystical effect







And this one, which brings to my mind the song 'Bridge Over Troubled Water.'

Copper. Those gifs.? I love those thank you.

Thank you too for what you said. Different way of looking at it. I hate feeling so raw and exposed right now and my instinct is to cut, run and hide. But Im trying not to do that anymore, it doesn't help.

Thanks you guys.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
This quokka wants to give you a hug........

?

That is adorable! I want one!

Posted by justagirl

Posted by CopperDove
I'm very sorry for your loss and what you go through since that time.

Dates and events connected to losses can affect me too, and it can be hard to open up.

I once scared a friend of mine by crying because she had never seen me cry before -- she assumed I was too strong to cry. But, in the end, it helped her, because she felt weak for being a person who cried a lot, so to see a person she thought was strong cry made a difference.

I find sometimes that a ritual of some kind is helpful, like your visits to Mount Rainier.



I found this cool gif of Mount Rainier National Park - mystical effect







And this one, which brings to my mind the song 'Bridge Over Troubled Water.'

Copper. Those gifs.? I love those thank you.

Thank you too for what you said. Different way of looking at it. I hate feeling so raw and exposed right now and my instinct is to cut, run and hide. But Im trying not to do that anymore, it doesn't help.

Thanks you guys.

click to expand

You're welcome! I'm glad that I found some gifs that you love -- I searched for a while to find them. :-)

I can understand your instinct. I've had to fight that too sometimes when I'm having a hard time emotionally.

And, on the other side of it, as a listener/reader of someone who is going through something like this, I know that it can sometimes be hard to know what to say to the person in pain. I remember how a friend of mine simply wrote, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say" when I shared something painful I'd gone through, but that actually helped me -- I felt the caring coming through and I liked that he could just say that instead of silence or struggling to come up with the perfect thing.

So, as you open up to people in your life, which is a good thing, you might get some odd responses at times, but sometimes it could be that the person cares a lot but doesn't quite know how to handle it -- don't let that deter you. :-)

Sorry for your loss. I could only imagine how painful that would feel.

I know the feeling of always being the "strong one" and holding it together so that everyone else doesn't fall apart.

This is why I have a hard time just letting my emotions flow freely when I'm feeling low and why at times I'll need my space so I can process what I'm feeling. During those alone times that's when I cry.

For me, not showing these emotions aren't so much about appearing "weak" to others but rather me not taking away others sense of comfort and security because I'm usually their rock their sense of emotional stability and who they go to when they need a shoulder. If they see me unravel then they might do the same. At least this is how 'I' feel at times.

But, life is definitely a journey and I'm realizing bottling emotions in doesn't protect me or those I love and care for. It actually does the opposite. Humans even the most logical and seemingly robotic ones are emotional beings and though we may express ourselves differently it's ok to.

Posted by justagirl

Not one person in my life reached out to me ...

curious .....

Posted by metalaquamonkey
Sorry for your loss. I could only imagine how painful that would feel.

I know the feeling of always being the "strong one" and holding it together so that everyone else doesn't fall apart.

This is why I have a hard time just letting my emotions flow freely when I'm feeling low and why at times I'll need my space so I can process what I'm feeling. During those alone times that's when I cry.

For me, not showing these emotions aren't so much about appearing "weak" to others but rather me not taking away others sense of comfort and security because I'm usually their rock their sense of emotional stability and who they go to when they need a shoulder. If they see me unravel then they might do the same. At least this is how 'I' feel at times.

But, life is definitely a journey and I'm realizing bottling emotions in doesn't protect me or those I love and care for. It actually does the opposite. Humans even the most logical and seemingly robotic ones are emotional beings and though we may express ourselves differently it's ok to.

yes. i care so muuch for others, that i tend to put me behind their needs and wants, which i know is not healthy and have been working on that for the last few years. Also, for me i feel as if i am failing others, which i know is just insane when i really think about it. I have bottled things for years and it's usually something small that triggers everything to come up to the surface and i become an emotional wrecking ball (best example to express what i mean). I know it's not the way to deal with emotions, life and relationships and it's become obvious for me in the past year or so that it isn't what works. I am starting to understand that the tried and true of the past just isn't going to work anymore.

@everyone that responded Thank you very much. i really cant put into words how your words have helped give me strength and i appreciate them. I was afraid to even post this as i wasn't sure how well received it would be as DXPers can be ruthless sometimes. Like i said in my OP i may close those as it's very personal... but i may just leave it so it can maybe help someone else dealing with a hard time as well.

Posted by justagirl

I lost my first and so far only child and I get lost in a turmoil of emotions.

spirits cannot leave the earth plane and get trapped here when people won't let them go to move on into the light .. until eventually, they are forever bound here in darkness.

You need to realize this so your child's spirit can move on.



Just thought you needed to know that. As much as you want and need YOUR feelings to be pampered, it's her that is in actual need right now. You are preventing her from moving on to her next existence.

If only for her (his) sake you need to get a grip and stop being so emotionally needy, and let her pass away.

Big Hug!

Hugs

Before my scorp came along no one has reach out for me not even the slightest that i tend to think suicide for a solution but i keep holding on to the last string even if its thin until that someone came along who listens to me without judgement,before then i keep putting my thoughts and emotion in paper i have a notebook full of it and will bite anyone who touches it coz reading it is like me being naked,if no one is listening or reaching out to you,you have to find another way for you to remain sane

I cannot talk about deep emotions because nobody understands the depth they are going to. I can only have my trusted friend be with me. He calms me down deep within. He knows something is wrong and he knows his presence helps me. I hate being interrogated, but if I am ready, I can speak about what bothers me. Having someone that can understand you unconditionally is a big plus. It makes you feel less lonely in all this mess. Locate that special friend.