Your views on friends with benefits

Hello everyone. I was just wondering how you feel about friends with benefits. Good idea? How do you treat them and have you ever ending up falling for the person? How has it ended?? Thanks

I generally don't sleep with my friends.

FWB is a bad idea, especially if you want more than just a friendship.

Posted by gemini88june
Hello everyone. I was just wondering how you feel about friends with benefits. Good idea? How do you treat them and have you ever ending up falling for the person? How has it ended?? Thanks

nope.

i realize even on dxp, lots of people are claiming to "get" the man into falling in love with her if she does the sexing thing.

it's not gonna work. if he wants you, he'll want you.

so if topic is find out how to get the man, it' not gonna work.

love it

Posted by gemini88june
Hello everyone. I was just wondering how you feel about friends with benefits. Good idea? How do you treat them and have you ever ending up falling for the person? How has it ended?? Thanks

You should just do it. You sound like you really want this guy. Lol. As long as YOU dont get attached, whats there to lose?
haha.

Posted by gemini88june
Hello everyone. I was just wondering how you feel about friends with benefits. Good idea? How do you treat them and have you ever ending up falling for the person? How has it ended?? Thanks

My personal experience it does NOT end well. But in my specific situation I got more attached. So its really,up to you.. just make sure you end it before 3 months. Around 6/7 months for me at least it starts feeling significant then if you break up after a year itll HURT. Good luck!

Posted by aquasnoz
I generally don't sleep with my friends.

I'm married now, but when I was single I couldn't do it. Someone in the friendzone is just that...a friend. The sex chemistry isn't there -- at least for me it wasn't.

Sometimes it's bad but when it's good its very liberating and makes me happy that I can sustain sex and friendship and not fuck it up like a balancing act.

I I start developing feelings then I'll be gone for three months lol and then I'm back on your doorstep with a bottle of wine and its like nothing happened

So wait, I thought Aquas were all about moving slow and being friends first. So now friends with benefits is a bad idea? That's a bit contradicting.

Posted by FilletoFish
So wait, I thought Aquas were all about moving slow and being friends first. So now friends with benefits is a bad idea? That's a bit contradicting.

I'm not an aqua, but I see the difference. FWB is using one another, no respect for the friendship/relationship really. FWB makes you have to detach.
The friends first is building a base with respect and allows things to happen organically. You pull toward each other rather than detaching from each other.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
I've almost always known going in if the person was open to whatever or if the person just wanted to keep it sexual. I don't like being put in a box so, while I've done the latter, it was usually the former. Outta those, ended up dating one of them and the rest grew into friends or good acquaintances. One of the strictly sex guys turned into a tangled mess of emotions for both of us. Ha. But that's a story for another time. Hmm. Guess *technically* the Boy and I started as the latter since I had no idea where that was going. Locked it down a week later and going good so far. 😄

It's like anything. Don't be stupid about it. Know your needs. Know your limitations. Be respectful to yourself and to the other person. Don't go into it wanting or expecting more. It's not rocket science.

Exactly! I think there are various flavors to fwb, some may be level set from the beginning as a purely sexual agreement/NSA/what have you, some just go with the flow, you aren't technically a couple, but during the process, it may flourish into something more or a great friendship. I thought this was aqua man's preferred approach, on a high level of course, there's always exceptions to the rule..

Posted by AquaMermaid

Posted by FilletoFish
So wait, I thought Aquas were all about moving slow and being friends first. So now friends with benefits is a bad idea? That's a bit contradicting.

How exactly is it contradicting? Building a relationship with friendship as a foundation still involves care and respect between the two. It blossoms into love and sometimes there is no sex through out this transformation of friendship to love,whereas in FWB the two parties agreed that it is exclusively sexual. They sleep with each other at convenience.And 99% of the times it ends badly because one party wants to detach and the other wants to hold on to it and try to find deeper meaning in the relationship.

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Sorry, I somehow missed this, I think we are talking about the same thing, but calling it different.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by AquaMermaid
Casual sex doesn't end in commitment. Any person who thinks that a man falls in love after non-committed sexual relationship is deluded. No woman has a magical vagina to turn a man's lust into love.It's a recipe for heartbreak and disaster. Aquas don't fuck their friends because they are scared to lose the friendship. Friendship is more important to us than lust.

Yep. Guess I'm just a big, fat liar then. *jerk off motion*

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i'm sure LOTS of men do this, no matter the sign.

hey if it's FREE and you're hot and sexy, and giving it away free.

why the fuck not??

More to loveeeee and PENETRATE baby.

that's how these guys think. *smh*

then you're thinking cutting off the dick thoughts. 😆

I think the word Friends in FWB is grossly misleading.

Because, when you come down to it, you're not really friends.

I mean is your FWB going to visit you in the hospital? Are they going to drive two hours to pick you up because your car broke down? Are they going to spend a couple of hours fixing a water leak in your house? Will they help you move? Will they go to your grandmother's funeral to be supportive? Most of the time, the answer is no.

Oh, a female might, but I don't think a male would.

Just my humble opinion.

Posted by AquaMermaid
I'm just trying to explain the difference between friendship as in REAL friendship and FWB. I had Capricorn,Virgo,Libra and Scorpio male friends before I got married. I cared for them a lot. I never thought, " hey that relationship is over now let me call the Libra or Capricorn and start a FWB with them until I start dating again" OR "Virgo was looking very cute today, let me suggest casual sex then may be we'll fall in love afterwards".

i get you.

i LIVED with my ex, AND a Scorpio man (no, this was another Scorpio BEFORE my husband)

True fucking story.

and no, there was NO sex with the Scorpio guy. he was a friend. that's IT.

we did not go there. at all. Too much RESPECT for eachother.

Posted by AquaMermaid

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by AquaMermaid
I'm just trying to explain the difference between friendship as in REAL friendship and FWB. I had Capricorn,Virgo,Libra and Scorpio male friends before I got married. I cared for them a lot. I never thought, " hey that relationship is over now let me call the Libra or Capricorn and start a FWB with them until I start dating again" OR "Virgo was looking very cute today, let me suggest casual sex then may be we'll fall in love afterwards".

i get you.

i LIVED with my ex, AND a Scorpio man (no, this was another Scorpio BEFORE my husband)

True fucking story.

and no, there was NO sex with the Scorpio guy. he was a friend. that's IT.

we did not go there. at all. Too much RESPECT for eachother.

I kept my relationships and friendship separated.Even when hubs approached me with the romantic interest,we did not have sex until we became official. He was always respectful and wanted commitment since beginning.

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every guy is different, AM.

I like to "test drive" myself, and that's the truth.

and honestly, i have to have a "connection" too, he's got to PROVE alot before going there. And yes test drive. IF the sex is good. OH YEAH!!!!!!

i would say one of my ex's was bad, but i won't , cause this site gets sensitive with "Placements" 😆 and i still stayed with him because i loved him. It's not Always about sex. jeez.

so i have to tread carefully. even if it's NOT talking about them personally, but we all get soooo sensitive as if we are talking about ourselves or someone close to us. It's human nature.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by truecap
I think the word Friends in FWB is grossly misleading.

Because, when you come down to it, you're not really friends.

I mean is your FWB going to visit you in the hospital? Are they going to drive two hours to pick you up because your car broke down? Are they going to spend a couple of hours fixing a water leak in your house? Will they help you move? Will they go to your grandmother's funeral to be supportive? Most of the time, the answer is no.

But I've experienced the exception more than once and that's why I usually speak up in these threads. By far not the rule tho and any woman who thinks different is fooling herself.

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Then that's true friends..(with benefits). I think it's very, very rare. And you're right, it can happen.

What most women describe on here are not that. To borrow a term from my day, what they describe is called F**k buddy.
I mean the guy won't even text them back, so you KNOW he's not going to be there as a friend when you need it.

and both my sisters TEST drove BEFORE commitment, but it's all HUSH HUSH. sshhhhhh

Well well you are a Gemini mate. The better you stimulate her mind the speeder her pants gets off. And the mind stimulation doesn't need to be sexual but should be intellectual. But above all she needs to trust you, I hope you know her for ages if you are shagging an aqua. The time will come when she tells you she need more than FWB from you and most probably you going to marry her, have kids and end up living happy ever after. Good luck.

Posted by flowingwater

Posted by tiziani
The Aqua association with FWB is redundant imo. Uranus is the least sexual planet there is.

I believe this as well..

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Agreed!

Posted by truecap
I think the word Friends in FWB is grossly misleading.

Because, when you come down to it, you're not really friends.

I mean is your FWB going to visit you in the hospital? Are they going to drive two hours to pick you up because your car broke down? Are they going to spend a couple of hours fixing a water leak in your house? Will they help you move? Will they go to your grandmother's funeral to be supportive? Most of the time, the answer is no.

+10000

^and just to elaborate. FWB has become a booty call kind of thing, but it is possible to have a friend who you are sleeping with. By friend I mean a person who you hang out with, go to movies with and do all sorts of fun activities with. Suddenly you find yourself horny and you realize that your guy friend has feelings for you, so you decide to take advantage of his feelings for you and sleep with him. The taking advantage of a friend part is unsettling and doesn't agree with what a friendship is supposed to be.