Are you guys 'black and white' thinkers?

My sister is awesome, no doubt - the only thing I have found that leads us to roadblocks when discussing things is that I think in very grey terms and she is 'either/or'.

She is a gym instructor and she says things like; 'overweight people are just lazy, unless they are obese'.

Also, 'everyone can find time to excercise if they REALLY want to, they just make excuses for their inactivity'.

I have tried to explain to her that there are a number of mitigating factors for why people use food. For example, someone that was abused may be unconsciously eating to maintain what they feel is an undesirable shape and so on. They may be unaware.

In the case of 'laziness', I have tried to explain that now more than ever, people are working harder, have less time and just cannot be as active as they would like - they have to prioritise, especially if they have several children who need their time, or work more than one job.

She tends to dismiss this, saying, 'if they really wanted to, they would find a way'.

Is this generally how Aries people think?

Hi Waterwheel...aka - DC!

Great seeing you back on here as always! 🙂 Hope all is going well with you these days?

okies....to answer your question from my Arien point of view - I have NO clue what type of thinker I am....I usually listen to my instincts and go from there. I will say that I do agree with your sister on this thought -"if they really wanted to, they would find a way'."

As humans...we do have choices, every min. of the day we are making choices. Our choices are made by our thoughts. If someone truly does want to do something they will find a way...if nothing happens, most likely the desire was not strong enough or as strong as they may have thought it to be.

I have a friend who would love to "release" weight - she keeps telling herself she can't because of this and that and honestly for her, she is correct. Me? if I want to do something, there are no excuses - I just do it.

I also agree with you that extra weight usually stems from an issue that has not been delt with - most likely some type of emotional/intimacy issues. For many it is a way to protect themselves from being intimate with another - the extra weight is used to keep others at a distance. Until they have become AWARE of this issue.....there will not be a change.

Poop or get off the pot! this 'bout sums it up 😉

Hi FB! Good to see you too. All is well this end, the learning curve as ever continues! I hope you are well and happy 🙂

"I have a friend who would love to "release" weight - she keeps telling herself she can't because of this and that and honestly for her, she is correct. Me? if I want to do something, there are no excuses - I just do it."

See, this is how I try to see things in the main. People are wired differently. I think perhaps it may be to do with the fact that my sister is less accepting and more contemptuous. Not; 'for her, she is correct' .. instead, 'they should be as I am'.

That may be the reason we seem to reach these roadblocks. Once we were discussing my cousin, who is excessively overweight. It ended with me 'defending' my cousin, who has had a truly terrible existence and my sister saying she should 'just sort herself out'.

I tend to identify with the emotions of the person we are discussing, she the hard facts, which should be 'applicable to all'.

In her, there is no 'it's correct for you', only 'everyone should think / act as I do'.

"Is the discussion around weight a particular issue for you? Or was it just an example you're using?"

FA - it's just an example 🙂

I am extremely close to my sister, she is pretty much like a best friend. This is the only tiny thing that seems to come up occasionally between us.

Perhaps that's also part of it. Perhaps she is waiting for me to 'see sense' (in black and white) and I am waiting for her to 'see sense' (in grey).

That's interesting.

Maybe we need to invent a kind of dark grey philosophy that's somewhere between the two 😉

I see things in grey, although I agree with your sister. I believe anyone and everyone should be able to put aside thirty minutes to train several times a week.

Yes, you're right. That is actually what is happening. We should agree that we have different views on the subject.

For the most part, these things don't come up. It has never caused any problems, but I have always wondered when it does occur; 'what is this about?'.

I think in black and white. If you think beyond ur grey thoughts, its obvious that deep inside ur brain process everything as black or white in its simplest form. its just the insecurities and fears and need to get approved by the society what makes people stay in grey.

Greys are fearful and insecure; that is entirely possible from person to person. It is also equally possible that black and white thinkers are fearful and insecure.

I think you could find both, in each case.

::ponders::

is there really such a thing as a black, white or grey thinker or is it perhaps all in the mind?

*today, I shall think only in "pink"

pinkingofyou! 😉

There is no way on God's earth that I would wear pink.

This is a very black and white matter for me.

😛

I take that back, I wore a pink shirt yesterday. It was a very manly pink shirt though *panics a bit*.

''She tends to dismiss this, saying, 'if they really wanted to, they would find a way'.
Is this generally how Aries people think?''

To put it simply - yea Aries generally will think this - not much is unshakable for Aries who wants something done but opinions are adaptable with more exposure and experience. JUST DO IT! Aries motto.


''For the most part, these things don't come up. It has never caused any problems, but I have always wondered when it does occur; 'what is this about?'.''

What's your sign waterwheel - i bet you're an air sign. It's more to do with Fire signs viewing things from a more subjective point (so you get more generalisations) and air signs apply more objectivity (hence the debates) - but everyone has their areas of white, black and gray eitherway.

there's an interesting question on the aquarius board that might help this question - http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=1354128<BR>

Oh oh oh....... ::raises hand:: I know what Waterwheel is - he is a Pisces! 🙂

May I now pass GO and collect 200?

lol.
u're excused.

"there's an interesting question on the aquarius board that might help this question - http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=1354128"

zen - I read this today and it seems to cover so much ground in such a short space of time. Extremely insightful.

Sometimes it can be infuriating for people who think logically to have to accommodate someone who cannot grasp seemingly simple logic. This is why I read a lot of posts on the Aqua board, but join in to few. I am aware (comfortably so) of my intellectual shortcomings where skills of logical reasoning / debate are concerned.

On subjects of human interaction, psychology, feeling and so on - much of what I read is already known instinctively; I can debate these easily. I imagine that this is how it must be for intellectuals when debating academia.

The truth is, I had to read the post on the Aqua board four times before I took it in. This kind of ability to concisely stick to the facts, pulling out the pertinent and relevant parts is beyond me. I find it amazing and incredible - like a super-ability. Haffo on the Pisces board can also do this - I can only assume he has Aqua in his chart!

And maybe these facts also have bearing on the original post regarding my sister.

Pisces Waterwheel - makes sense why you see the emotion involved with the people in the conversation with your sis.

There's a part of seemingly simple logic that's very questionable when applied to humans (great when applied to science, etc). The air sign debate is not always backed with all the facts - just very logical to the untrained eyes - that's why they are able to convince a lot where the other signs are not. When dealing with humans, we don't really always have all the facts, there will be the little noises missing - i.e. the human emotion (which we're increasingly trained not to trust or acknowledge - part of the technological progression, aquarian age, etc, i don't know). This is what the water signs can see - sometimes I kinda feel for them as they live with this noise - must be a huge burden.

"This is what the water signs can see - sometimes I kinda feel for them as they live with this noise - must be a huge burden."

I personally see the emotions of any water sign as a beautiful gift...the ability to FEEL life...what is life if it cannot be felt or experienced?

emotions = noise?
noise = burden?

Okies....

''emotions = noise?''

Like undercurrents - vibrations i think. The rest of the signs can maybe move on and not look back - we cannot hear the noise.

''noise = burden?''

Burden as it cannot be explained - i.e. it won't hold up in court when asked.

''I personally see the emotions of any water sign as a beautiful gift...the ability to FEEL life...what is life if it cannot be felt or experienced?''

I completely agree - that why water signs have this seasoned look (to me) like they've already experienced several lifetimes

I think emotions can be a burden only if they are misunderstood. There are dangers in both moving on too quickly and being stuck.

very true ww

Zen, thank you for 'splainin' 😉

Vibrations - it is my understanding that vibrations are the result of energy and we all are energy so we all do possess those good vibrations. 😉

Air signs for the most part are noted to be the "thinking" sign...living from their mind but deeply desiring to know the emotions of their heart. Perhaps their attraction to the water sign peeps?

It's all good and we all are here to be helpin' one another.....I'm hungry!

Lol Aqi.

Fire signs do it but I noticed air signs don't get personal about it - it's just good old debate until it's fool-proof then the come out to share the limelight. If it fails, they're no where to be found :-))))

people who think in black and white are more likely to go completely wrong in their perspective and therefore faces a bigger challenge. Its always either yes or no. So if i say yes now and later someone prove to me its no, i have to switch over to the other side. If i stay stubborn and avoid buying the reality once its proved, then that's stubbornness and fear. Most black and white thinkers dont have an issue with changing. They are happy to change their views.

People who stay inside grey zones are so scared that they might get judged by others. So conformity is more important to them that reality.

Agreed.

Sometimes being in the grey, is also genuinely that you do not have the ability to reach a conclusion. It's not that you particularly fear being wrong - it's that you do not have the capacity to enter the debate and since you know this, it is better to follow and learn without hindering the process.

"A stupid person should stay silent; when he knows this, he isn't stupid any more" (Saadi)