Aries and Cancer, advice?

I'm a Cancer woman who was dating an Aries man. We were inseparable for a while, did everything together, and ended up moving faster than we normally would in relationships. Eventually we became overwhelmed with each other, and started to seek out space...I approached him about slowing down and he agreed, only to disappear a short while later (which I naturally called him out for) and came back wanting to be friends because he said it was just too much for him to handle with everything that's going on in his life. He wasn't even as blunt as I expected, he apologized over and over for not approaching me and for disappearing. He still acts completely normal, and seems to care about me and what's going on in my life. I'm the first girl he's gotten close to since his past relationship that absolutely scorched him. I'm not sure if it's something I just accept, or if there's any way that we can build something again. I know Aries men tend to wander, and he's the first I've dated so I'm not sure how I would even go about getting him back. Any advice?

LOL!

Don't bother. No man is worth chasing after except maybe me. And that's only if I'm dressed right.

Well that is encouraging!

And I'm not.

Well did you want fake encouragement (sugar coat) or truth? I'm not here to feed your ego not for nothin'

I wasn't planning on chasing really, it's not really my style (weird I know, being a Cancer). But I've easily been able to get other signs to come back to me, but for some reason this Aries guy stumps and challenges me. I think that's why I want to win him back.

Okay, okay I'll stop being a prick for two seconds. If he's anything like the Aries women, then just agree with him about being friends. I have a feeling you broke it off first because you thought he would first. Am I right? Yes I am.

So he probably feels like you weren't worth it in the first place. But they have the attention span of a goldfish so I don't know, just play with his balls and don't talk so much. You might go far with any man that way.

Posted by sunkissed4018
I wasn't planning on chasing really, it's not really my style (weird I know, being a Cancer). But I've easily been able to get other signs to come back to me, but for some reason this Aries guy stumps and challenges me. I think that's why I want to win him back.

So if I'm hearing this correct, you want to waste your own time for the win instead of something actually worth-while? That may not entirely be the best approach, I don't think. It sounds like a waste of time unfortunately. If you weren't with him that long, then just move on.

No way, don't sugar coat. I can handle it, just want to know if it's a waste of time to even continue thinking about it. I didn't break it off, I just made it clear I wasn't going to put up with his BS and he came back all apologetic and surprisingly not as blunt as I'd expect from an Aries. But still, wanting to be friends because he says "he loves being my friend above it all."

I really enjoyed being with him. I've enjoyed spending time with him and we had great sexual chemistry, he was someone I could see myself with in the future. I think I can't really understand him, and it makes me appreciate him more. It made everything more exciting, and I want that back.

sounds like me and my ex in college. just take it one day at a time. you can still give each other space and be a couple. btw aries men wander when they aren't serious - when they are they are 100% loyal, if only because majority of them have abandonment issues.

oh and lose the nostalgia. it can't, and won't be exciting all the time.

Yeah I realize that, things won't always be exciting but we always have enjoyed each other and that's what is most important. We're not a couple though, instead of taking up the idea of slowing it down he decided he that it was just "too much for him right now" and wants to be friends. He seems adamant about not losing me in his life.

My ex was also a Cancer and I was able to get him to come back to me through nostalgia and bringing him back to some of the best times we've had. Every guy is different, I don't feel like the push/pull works for everyone. I realize that Aries men tend to pick up and move on, so I realize this is completely different and definitely not easy.

Nostalgia does not work on fire signs or those with heavy fire influence.

do not cling to him, instead make it his "idea" to come back to you - let him realize it himself that he wants you. that is the only way to keep this guy in your life.

No, push/pull is definitely a game. That's not what I would want to do in this case either, nor clinging because he'll most definitely flee from that. I just wasn't sure what fire signs responded more to.

I'd definitely appreciate it. I just want to know if it's a waste of energy and emotion. I really care about this guy and want him in my life but if it's never going to happen again, I don't want to end up really hurt.

I think it's pretty evident that we both got a little scared and overwhelmed. It was a little intense.

it's really not that hard to keep an aries man attention. i broke up with my ex about 3 years ago and he still chases after me and even wanted to marry me.

just be fun and considerate. and be yourself. aries will lose respect for people who compromise who they are for the sake of vanity.

The fact that he wants to be friends now signals that I pretty much have lost it though. No matter how much he may continue to contact me, I feel like he would be willing to really work at it if I had his attention. Ultimately I don't want to be with a guy who doesn't want me, but from the way things have gone it seems like he's scared/overwhelmed. Just as I am.

I didn't mean for us to be friends, I meant that I wanted to continue seeing him. He just said it was too much for him right now. He's a complete Aries because he's always surrounded by friends and many girls he considers friends, so I really just dread being put in that zone.

Posted by sunkissed4018
I didn't mean for us to be friends, I meant that I wanted to continue seeing him. He just said it was too much for him right now. He's a complete Aries because he's always surrounded by friends and many girls he considers friends, so I really just dread being put in that zone.

you know what, just kiss him and get it over with. if he kisses back, maybe a little fondling going on, he wants you and is just being a pussy.

if he pushes you away, he doesn't want you. there you go. you can do the friends or no dance from there.

Thank you for that advice, but that's just not who I am. I wouldn't chase him like that.

Act like you have a life even if you dont, ignore some of his calls, Than see what his reaction is.. SHOW him HE MISSED OUT!

Hmm that's what I was thinking is best at this point, I guess it really may be up to him to see what he lost. Thank you!

Posted by sunkissed4018
Thank you for that advice, but that's just not who I am. I wouldn't chase him like that.

why not? if you see what you want why no go for it? otherwise you'll be posting on the internet about advice on how to "catch" without really even doing anything or you'll post about how you once had this great aries and things fizzled out between and you don't know why.

i would think the worse between the two options would be to not do anything about it...

Yeah I know, he just hasn't initiated anything that would lead me to seeing him again anytime soon so I don't necessarily have that as a possibility. I think I'm beginning to see that it's not really up to me, but up to him. If he really set his mind to us being apart, there may not be any room for me to change it so doing something that bold would definitely make me fear rejection. In the beginning of the thread I just wanted to ask if it's possible to make an Aries man come back, and if so how people managed to make it so. I think the reason why I don't necessarily want to give up is because I think this might possibly be out of fear and him being overwhelmed rather than him just not caring for me enough. Naturally if it's the latter, I don't want to waste any time lol.

well havent you already taken this as a "rejection"? i thought you already did and wanted a way to change that?

Posted by sunkissed4018
I didn't mean for us to be friends, I meant that I wanted to continue seeing him. He just said it was too much for him right now. He's a complete Aries because he's always surrounded by friends and many girls he considers friends, so I really just dread being put in that zone.

First of all, you keep saying "all aries men tend to be ______".

This is your first Aries no? Wait until you had everything from an Aries to say you know how they can be.

As far as him always being around friends and girls he considers to be friends, that is your perspective becoming your own reality, not REALITY REALITY. You see girls around him, and you think oh he is wanting to have sex with them all. Tell me how that is an Aries thing? And also can't we men be thought of as good-natured at least while you are interested in us? Why is it that many of us people who are interested in someone, get all worked up and put the cart ahead of the horse when we see the person we are interested with, with friends or other potential mates. That describes just about every trip to the bar.

Anyway, I think Don had it right, you got to give something to get something, and my bit of advice is start trusting the yourself, start trusting the Aries. The Aries probably is just as awkward about approaching people and about moving to the next stage of a relationship. Just enjoy the meantime. If you don't enjoy it, move on or stay friends until you have "that moment" where things kick in.

Good luck, seems like you have something to work with here.