lilmzsunshine
@lilmzsunshine
7 YearsLeo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 29 · Topics: 2
Aries Man Wants To "Start Over"
He started to pull away. Communication became less and less. We were seeing eachother less and less. Words werent matching actions. I started making assumptions. Told him that I was going to fall back because I felt too needy. He told me not to. I made another assumption and that one was really bad. Told him it was over. I'm not proud of myself for that one. After that it went down hill but he still didn't want to end it. However, he became mean and it Almost felt like he was trying to making me end it. It wasnt until I lost my job last Friday that I really noticed something was wrong. he wasn't supportive. My expectation was for him to run and comfort me. Nah. So I wrote a text (bad idea) and his response was: "in tired of the same conversation over and over. maybe I'm just not the one for you". after that he hit me with the "work on yourself". Oh and before I lost my job I lost my car. All this happened during our short time together so mentally I was a wreck. So I'm thinking that had a lot to do with what happened.
He spoiled me at the very beginning. Texts first thing every morning, at his and my lunch break, when he left work. When I left work. When he got home. When I got home. Every single move we made we knew about it. From morning until our goodnight. It was like clock work. Then it slowly became less and less until. Then maybe I heard from him 2 or 3 times a day. However, he was always there when I would reach out. Even if it were at 1am. I am also thinking sex had a lot to do with it because the more we had sex the more he would pull away. I probably was being used come to think about it.
As far as communication? If I needed to talk to him about anything I could call him. He prefered it. But I never did. He was upset that I kept doing all this "assuming" and not talking about it. The other piece of this is that he's a counselor. So, my gut always says "mind games".
Plus he's so Damn hard to read!
Plus he's so Damn hard to read!
I would take him at his words.
Start as friends. See if he is even worth a friendship and then go from there.
Start as friends. See if he is even worth a friendship and then go from there.
Yes I do agree with you. It shouldn't be that difficult. We would have disagreements like we'd been together for years.
At this point, what's done is done. I can't change anything. Or him.
At this point, what's done is done. I can't change anything. Or him.
Posted by lilmzsunshineHe is slowly letting you down without being too harsh on you although he already knows that you two won't get serious again. You should mark this as "didn't work out" and move on. He will move on soon, so should you.
Been seeing an Aries for 3 months and to completely wrecked it. I hurt him, more than once due to insecuriries, pride and ego.
He told me that I needed to focus less on him and more on myself. Told me to get myself together. Something inside me won't let him go though.
So, tonight I told him that I hated the fact I messed everything up. Told him I wish I could go back in time and change things. I said I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Then he told me that we can start from day 1, as friends, then see what happens.
Is it BS? I feel like it Is. I feel like he is trying to be nice and make me feel better. Are Aries even capable of giving 2nd chances like that?
Thank you AquaNextDoor. I feel like hes trying to make me feel better. Trying to lesson the blow. He probably wouldn't have said it if I wouldn't have told him "I don't want to say goodbye". I'm sure that touched him.
I don't want it to be over though. Maybe I'm in denial. I just hate that I am the one who messed it up. It feels awful.
I don't want it to be over though. Maybe I'm in denial. I just hate that I am the one who messed it up. It feels awful.
Posted by lilmzsunshineCan I ask you, you say the communication became less and less. You say YOU heard from him maybe 2-3 times a day.
He spoiled me at the very beginning. Texts first thing every morning, at his and my lunch break, when he left work. When I left work. When he got home. When I got home. Every single move we made we knew about it. From morning until our goodnight. It was like clock work. Then it slowly became less and less until. Then maybe I heard from him 2 or 3 times a day. However, he was always there when I would reach out. Even if it were at 1am. I am also thinking sex had a lot to do with it because the more we had sex the more he would pull away. I probably was being used come to think about it.
Why are you always waiting for him to text you first?
My my dating experiences with Aries. They don't go back to ex's. Especially when the couple (ie you and him) have been together for such a short time.
Aries will at times give you a second chance, if they do, you better be in line because mark my words they will watch your every move, to make sure the second chance was worth giving in the first place.
It boggles my mind endless when people post....
Communication is less because S/he texting less. Well to those people I ask.... ARE you also texting them less? Are you always leaving it up to them to text first.
I have been caught out MANY times about my "lack" of texting. Its not because I like you less, its because there are better things to do that sit and text someone all day long. IE like speak over the phone or in person.
Personally I wouldn't tell you let's start over if I wasn't planning on actually starting over and giving it another shot. He might actually just be giving you space to collect yourself and a little more time to make sure you are getting your mind right. What did you do??
I'm very nice in a lot of fields but trust me we're not nice in regards to relationships. I would definitely give a second Chance if we haven't been together long and you didn't do sumthing like cheat on me. If you did something mean like verbally tell me you dont want to be with me or dying truly see a future with me. I'll leave and you'll never see me again
Looking back I guess I could have been the one who wasn't initiating. And ill admit that I'm a bit needy and expected him to continue to be how he always was. When I called him out about not texting he said almost the same thing you did. Then when I felt him "pulling back" I started to over compensate and tried too hard to reel him back in. Thus, probably pushing him further away. That's when I started feeling stupid and insecure. Then that's when all the drama started. I got my emotions involved too quickly. Way too quickly. I'm actually surprised he hung on that long because I'm a not mess.
Just a side note about me...I just got out of a 13 year relationship with a....VIRGO. Yep. You heard that right. A VIRGO. So you can imagine how difficult it was/is for me and Aries. My mind is still stuck in Virgo land.
Just a side note about me...I just got out of a 13 year relationship with a....VIRGO. Yep. You heard that right. A VIRGO. So you can imagine how difficult it was/is for me and Aries. My mind is still stuck in Virgo land.
Posted by miriyahhhI didn't cheat at all. But I did tell him it was over once and quickly regretted it. So, I shouldn't be surprised with this outcome. He made a comment to me the last time we were together. He said
I'm very nice in a lot of fields but. trust me we're not nice in regards to relationships. I would definitely give a second Chance if we haven't been together long and you didn't do sumthing like cheat on me. If you did something mean like verbally tell me you dont want to be with me or dying truly see a future with me. I'll leave and you'll never see me again
"a lot of guys would have left you for saying what you said. But I didn't. I'm still here. And if i didnt want to be, then I wouldn't"
Posted by lilmzsunshineYou are more than likely much to analytical for an Aries right now then. We are extremely chill. Non confrontational people in relationships. And I'm only 24 I could assume to be much more relax by the time I hit thirty something. My tolerance for bull crap may deplete.
Looking back I guess I could have been the one who wasn't initiating. And ill admit that I'm a bit needy and expected him to continue to be how he always was. When I called him out about not texting he said almost the same thing you did. Then when I felt him "pulling back" I started to over compensate and tried too hard to reel him back in. Thus, probably pushing him further away. That's when I started feeling stupid and insecure. Then that's when all the drama started. I got my emotions involved too quickly. Way too quickly. I'm actually surprised he hung on that long because I'm a not mess.
Just a side note about me...I just got out of a 13 year relationship with a....VIRGO. Yep. You heard that right. A VIRGO. So you can imagine how difficult it was/is for me and Aries. My mind is still stuck in Virgo land.
You keep dancing around what you did to push him away. With mud details honestly I could better assist you.
Posted by lilmzsunshineYeah I left someone for telling me that during an argument. I wouldn't plan on truly going back because that means you kinda truly feel that way. Are y'all having sex?Posted by miriyahhhI didn't cheat at all. But I did tell him it was over once and quickly regretted it. So, I shouldn't be surprised with this outcome. He made a comment to me the last time we were together. He said
I'm very nice in a lot of fields but. trust me we're not nice in regards to relationships. I would definitely give a second Chance if we haven't been together long and you didn't do sumthing like cheat on me. If you did something mean like verbally tell me you dont want to be with me or dying truly see a future with me. I'll leave and you'll never see me again
"a lot of guys would have left you for saying what you said. But I didn't. I'm still here. And if i didnt want to be, then I wouldn't"
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Posted by miriyahhhThis is how I took his message. His exact words
Personally I wouldn't tell you let's start over if I wasn't planning on actually starting over and giving it another shot. He might actually just be giving you space to collect yourself and a little more time to make sure you are getting your mind right. What did you do??
"You know what, maybe you need to focus on you right now and not me. I'm really not having this conversation with you again over and over.
Always about me hurting you, leading you on, having you looking stupid. I know you're going through tough times right now. Lost your car, lost your job and whatever else you've kept to yourself. Unbelievable that this would even be a text message conversation but it is what it is. So focus on you and get yourself together"
Posted by miriyahhhYes. We have had sex a few times.Posted by lilmzsunshineYeah I left someone for telling me that during an argument. I wouldn't plan on truly going back because that means you kinda truly feel that way. Are y'all having sex?Posted by miriyahhhI didn't cheat at all. But I did tell him it was over once and quickly regretted it. So, I shouldn't be surprised with this outcome. He made a comment to me the last time we were together. He said
I'm very nice in a lot of fields but. trust me we're not nice in regards to relationships. I would definitely give a second Chance if we haven't been together long and you didn't do sumthing like cheat on me. If you did something mean like verbally tell me you dont want to be with me or dying truly see a future with me. I'll leave and you'll never see me again
"a lot of guys would have left you for saying what you said. But I didn't. I'm still here. And if i didnt want to be, then I wouldn't"
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Posted by lilmzsunshinePosted by miriyahhhThis is how I took his message. His exact words
Personally I wouldn't tell you let's start over if I wasn't planning on actually starting over and giving it another shot. He might actually just be giving you space to collect yourself and a little more time to make sure you are getting your mind right. What did you do??
"You know what, maybe you need to focus on you right now and not me. I'm really not having this conversation with you again over and over.
Always about me hurting you, leading you on, having you looking stupid. I know you're going through tough times right now. Lost your car, lost your job and whatever else you've kept to yourself. Unbelievable that this would even be a text message conversation but it is what it is. So focus on you and get yourself together"
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Oh your a Virgo right? He feels like he can't talk to you....
I wouldn't ever text you something serious. Id rather at least call you or see you in person. You hold back stuff? He wanted you to be completely open and it seemed like you are hiding things. Why were you doing him like that? Was he being transparent? Was he being completely open with you? If not he's just trying to find an out. If he was then maybe you do in fact need to work on yourself
Posted by lilmzsunshineHow was it? You know Aries like sex right lolPosted by miriyahhhYes. We have had sex a few times.Posted by lilmzsunshineYeah I left someone for telling me that during an argument. I wouldn't plan on truly going back because that means you kinda truly feel that way. Are y'all having sex?Posted by miriyahhhI didn't cheat at all. But I did tell him it was over once and quickly regretted it. So, I shouldn't be surprised with this outcome. He made a comment to me the last time we were together. He said
I'm very nice in a lot of fields but. trust me we're not nice in regards to relationships. I would definitely give a second Chance if we haven't been together long and you didn't do sumthing like cheat on me. If you did something mean like verbally tell me you dont want to be with me or dying truly see a future with me. I'll leave and you'll never see me again
"a lot of guys would have left you for saying what you said. But I didn't. I'm still here. And if i didnt want to be, then I wouldn't"
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No. I'm a Leo. I was with a VIRGO. And i am not sure why he made the comment about keeping things to myself. Maybe its because I wasn't upfront when my car got repossessed. I was too embarrassed to tell him so soon after meeting him. I told him that though.
I know I caused all this. I won't deny that. I just want to fix it if I can. If he keeps telling me there might still be a chance then I won't stop. If he tells me There's no chance then I will bow out gracefully.
I know I caused all this. I won't deny that. I just want to fix it if I can. If he keeps telling me there might still be a chance then I won't stop. If he tells me There's no chance then I will bow out gracefully.
Posted by miriyahhhPosted by lilmzsunshineHow was it? You know Aries like sex right lolPosted by miriyahhhYes. We have had sex a few times.Posted by lilmzsunshineYeah I left someone for telling me that during an argument. I wouldn't plan on truly going back because that means you kinda truly feel that way. Are y'all having sex?Posted by miriyahhhI didn't cheat at all. But I did tell him it was over once and quickly regretted it. So, I shouldn't be surprised with this outcome. He made a comment to me the last time we were together. He said
I'm very nice in a lot of fields but. trust me we're not nice in regards to relationships. I would definitely give a second Chance if we haven't been together long and you didn't do sumthing like cheat on me. If you did something mean like verbally tell me you dont want to be with me or dying truly see a future with me. I'll leave and you'll never see me again
"a lot of guys would have left you for saying what you said. But I didn't. I'm still here. And if i didnt want to be, then I wouldn't"
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Rough! Very rough. Very good though! Deffinetly aims to please.
Posted by SupesYeah...I can be the queen of tantrums.
Aries gets bored quick and distracted easily. They also hate “temper tantrums”
Yes, they’ll give multiple chances.
You have to learn how to communicate without slinging insults or hatred. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I admire his calmness. He doesn't get angry or yell. Or, at least not that I've seen YET.
I don’t think there’s another chance with the little bit of the story u gave.. sounds like he’s letting u off easy
Theres always 2 sides of the story. His side would be that I'm too insecure, I moved too fast, and my expectations were too high, too fast.
Theres always 2 sides of the story. His side would be that I'm too insecure, I moved too fast, and my expectations were too high, too fast. Now my issue will be jealousy because I know he'll be seeing other people lol. Ugh I'm a mess.
That's what I get for thinking I was ready to date again. Clearly I'm not.
That's what I get for thinking I was ready to date again. Clearly I'm not.
Posted by vixen14And rightfully so....I'm annoyed with myself. Sucks I had to meet a great guy during one of the most disaterous times in my life.Posted by lilmzsunshineIt honestly sounds like he’s annoyed. Like you’re too insecure that he’s doing you a favor to let you go. He might reconsider but you have to pull yourself together and give it Time. Right now, it just seems like he wants to run. Aries men can handle the issues associated in personal matters, like your car being repossessed, losing your job etc. but all that insecurity and needy behavior will push them away. Aside from it being extremely unattractive, there’s zero thrill or adventure from a co-dependent and predictable partner. Repetitiveness bores an Aries who also hates negativity.Posted by miriyahhhThis is how I took his message. His exact words
Personally I wouldn't tell you let's start over if I wasn't planning on actually starting over and giving it another shot. He might actually just be giving you space to collect yourself and a little more time to make sure you are getting your mind right. What did you do??
"You know what, maybe you need to focus on you right now and not me. I'm really not having this conversation with you again over and over.
Always about me hurting you, leading you on, having you looking stupid. I know you're going through tough times right now. Lost your car, lost your job and whatever else you've kept to yourself. Unbelievable that this would even be a text message conversation but it is what it is. So focus on you and get yourself together"
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If it doesnt ever work out at least I've learned.
Posted by lilmzsunshineUs aries will work with you for the most part though and since you are Leo sun y'all can meet in the middle. Just try to chill and be friends with him and show him you can work on yourself without completely shutting him out. I'm sure that'll work. If you want to be friends that isPosted by vixen14And rightfully so....I'm annoyed with myself. Sucks I had to meet a great guy during one of the most disaterous times in my life.Posted by lilmzsunshineIt honestly sounds like he’s annoyed. Like you’re too insecure that he’s doing you a favor to let you go. He might reconsider but you have to pull yourself together and give it Time. Right now, it just seems like he wants to run. Aries men can handle the issues associated in personal matters, like your car being repossessed, losing your job etc. but all that insecurity and needy behavior will push them away. Aside from it being extremely unattractive, there’s zero thrill or adventure from a co-dependent and predictable partner. Repetitiveness bores an Aries who also hates negativity.Posted by miriyahhhThis is how I took his message. His exact words
Personally I wouldn't tell you let's start over if I wasn't planning on actually starting over and giving it another shot. He might actually just be giving you space to collect yourself and a little more time to make sure you are getting your mind right. What did you do??
"You know what, maybe you need to focus on you right now and not me. I'm really not having this conversation with you again over and over.
Always about me hurting you, leading you on, having you looking stupid. I know you're going through tough times right now. Lost your car, lost your job and whatever else you've kept to yourself. Unbelievable that this would even be a text message conversation but it is what it is. So focus on you and get yourself together"
If it doesnt ever work out at least I've learned.
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Posted by lilmzsunshineIt’s just leaving me dumbfounded...how do you hurt somebody ‘due to your insecurities, pride and ego’?
Been seeing an Aries for 3 months and to completely wrecked it. I hurt him, more than once due to insecuriries, pride and ego.
He told me that I needed to focus less on him and more on myself. Told me to get myself together. Something inside me won't let him go though.
So, tonight I told him that I hated the fact I messed everything up. Told him I wish I could go back in time and change things. I said I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Then he told me that we can start from day 1, as friends, then see what happens.
Is it BS? I feel like it Is. I feel like he is trying to be nice and make me feel better. Are Aries even capable of giving 2nd chances like that?
How ta fk how—
Not sure how to answer that?
I hurt him because I assumed that when he started to pull away that he was no longer into me (after having sex). I let those feelings fester. So, then I decided that I wasn't going to allow him to make a fool out me because that's what I thought he was doing. I thought he was telling me what I wanted to hear, got sex and now he's done. Then I felt like I was becoming way too needy. I was grasping for strings. So, I told him I was going to fall back because I felt like he wasn't feeling the same. It hurt him. After we talked he assured me he was there and not going anywhere, etc, etc...but then the communication got even less. He didn't want to do anything. Texts were 1 word answers. He Didn't ask how I was for days. So then I mentioned something to him again. Same thing happened. Except this time I called him out about some inconsistencies in a story. I didn't believe them to be true based upon what he said vs. what he actually did. It was factual. I told him again that I'm not going to look stupid and that I felt like he was trying to make ME end it with him. So, I did it for him. But immediately regretted that decision. Thats when I messed up bad. Real bad.
It wasn't until NYE that I knew things werent good. I Didn't see him that night because he said I didn't ask him. We both sat home alone. So I sent him a really sweet new years video and he sent me a message saying that he was looking forward to making things better between us in 2018. Then asked me to come over on NY day.
When I got there, there were no lights on. It was completely dark. He stretched out on the couch so that I could only sit at the very end. I couldnt lay down. He didn't want to cuddle. We didn't talk. We watched some stupid show for hours. Then went to bed. He got in bed, laid on his stomach, said good night and went to sleep. It was so bad that he was actually pushing me off the bed because he was sprawling out so far. I knew then that he was checked out. And that's what led to all this.
I hurt him because I assumed that when he started to pull away that he was no longer into me (after having sex). I let those feelings fester. So, then I decided that I wasn't going to allow him to make a fool out me because that's what I thought he was doing. I thought he was telling me what I wanted to hear, got sex and now he's done. Then I felt like I was becoming way too needy. I was grasping for strings. So, I told him I was going to fall back because I felt like he wasn't feeling the same. It hurt him. After we talked he assured me he was there and not going anywhere, etc, etc...but then the communication got even less. He didn't want to do anything. Texts were 1 word answers. He Didn't ask how I was for days. So then I mentioned something to him again. Same thing happened. Except this time I called him out about some inconsistencies in a story. I didn't believe them to be true based upon what he said vs. what he actually did. It was factual. I told him again that I'm not going to look stupid and that I felt like he was trying to make ME end it with him. So, I did it for him. But immediately regretted that decision. Thats when I messed up bad. Real bad.
It wasn't until NYE that I knew things werent good. I Didn't see him that night because he said I didn't ask him. We both sat home alone. So I sent him a really sweet new years video and he sent me a message saying that he was looking forward to making things better between us in 2018. Then asked me to come over on NY day.
When I got there, there were no lights on. It was completely dark. He stretched out on the couch so that I could only sit at the very end. I couldnt lay down. He didn't want to cuddle. We didn't talk. We watched some stupid show for hours. Then went to bed. He got in bed, laid on his stomach, said good night and went to sleep. It was so bad that he was actually pushing me off the bed because he was sprawling out so far. I knew then that he was checked out. And that's what led to all this.
Posted by lilmzsunshineI've done it multiple times. With one girl it was a mistake, with another girl it created a much better relationship when we got back together.
Are Aries even capable of giving 2nd chances like that?
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