galeona
@galeona
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 2
Confused about this Aries guy?
This site is not posting my full message - trying it a third time 🙂
Hi galeona - sorry to hear you're having difficulties. As an Aries male I can tell you that my two ex gfs were both Leos and those were long term relationships. I know a bit about the dynamics. I understand your guy and being commitment shy because I have become that way myself. I just went through an ordeal with a Cancer woman - another thread on dxp and too long to mention here - but an Aries and a Cancer, really not a good combo at least in my case. Since that all began and she began doing the "disappearing" thing that I guess is common among Cancers, though it makes absolutely no sense to me (no offense to any Cancers reading this), I don't feel like I'm as trusting as I was before meeting her 6 months ago.
I think with Aries - we're used to be the dumper not the dumpee. It's an ego thing that every Aries has and your guy knows that he was not in control of his ex leaving him, and the fact that she left him for another man is the ultimate ego blow - when I read it I cringed. He's feeling upset that he was not the one that had the upper hand and did not have control. How long have they been broken up?
My best advice to give you is if you care about your Aries is don't force the commitment thing - in fact, stay away from the subject entirely. The more you talk about it, the more he'll resist. If he really likes, he wants to be the one that makes that first move where a commitment is concerned. I say all this because this is how I am. It's like the more someone pressures me, the more I will do the opposite of what they want. I think within every Aries boy and girl lays a rebellious teenager, regardless of their age. I'm 49 and I can still act like a rebellious teen if pushed too far. Because of what she did, you are kind of paying for that now...if you're patient, he'll come around especially if he is really into you.
Hi galeona - sorry to hear you're having difficulties. As an Aries male I can tell you that my two ex gfs were both Leos and those were long term relationships. I know a bit about the dynamics. I understand your guy and being commitment shy because I have become that way myself. I just went through an ordeal with a Cancer woman - another thread on dxp and too long to mention here - but an Aries and a Cancer, really not a good combo at least in my case. Since that all began and she began doing the "disappearing" thing that I guess is common among Cancers, though it makes absolutely no sense to me (no offense to any Cancers reading this), I don't feel like I'm as trusting as I was before meeting her 6 months ago.
I think with Aries - we're used to be the dumper not the dumpee. It's an ego thing that every Aries has and your guy knows that he was not in control of his ex leaving him, and the fact that she left him for another man is the ultimate ego blow - when I read it I cringed. He's feeling upset that he was not the one that had the upper hand and did not have control. How long have they been broken up?
My best advice to give you is if you care about your Aries is don't force the commitment thing - in fact, stay away from the subject entirely. The more you talk about it, the more he'll resist. If he really likes, he wants to be the one that makes that first move where a commitment is concerned. I say all this because this is how I am. It's like the more someone pressures me, the more I will do the opposite of what they want. I think within every Aries boy and girl lays a rebellious teenager, regardless of their age. I'm 49 and I can still act like a rebellious teen if pushed too far. Because of what she did, you are kind of paying for that now...if you're patient, he'll come around especially if he is really into you.
Cyberloon, Thank you for the reply.
Well, they have been separated for 10-11 months, so I know he is not emotionally ready for someone and something new, and I tried to be understanding and give him space and time.
But everything got out of hands when I learned from a common friend that after the breakup he started seeing some girl, just casually for the sex, but I also learned that he continued to see her even we were "together". I confroned him about that an dhe confirmed, telling me that he does not want to have a serious relationship right now. I was hurt and mad and angry so I broke off the things, only to find him chasing after me asking me to stay and to leave, because I'm important to him and he wants me in his life no matter what.
So I decided to stay and to see what happens ... We write each other every day, tease around, joke, laught .. but he's not eager to see me or to spend some real time with me. As if he just wants to be sure that I'm around, but nothing more.
Sometimes, when I don't reply to him he gets really concened where I am and who am I with. We see each other once every week or every two weeks just to spend the night together (not intimately) and the rest of the time we just talk or write or whatever.
As I sad before, I really like him (not in love though) but what he gives me is not enough, so recently I started concidering dating and seeing other guys. Still, I do think how the Aries will react to that. I don't want to look as if I'm leaving him or I just don't want to hurt him by being with someone else.
I just don't know how to deal with all of that in such a way that no one gets hurt. 😢
Well, they have been separated for 10-11 months, so I know he is not emotionally ready for someone and something new, and I tried to be understanding and give him space and time.
But everything got out of hands when I learned from a common friend that after the breakup he started seeing some girl, just casually for the sex, but I also learned that he continued to see her even we were "together". I confroned him about that an dhe confirmed, telling me that he does not want to have a serious relationship right now. I was hurt and mad and angry so I broke off the things, only to find him chasing after me asking me to stay and to leave, because I'm important to him and he wants me in his life no matter what.
So I decided to stay and to see what happens ... We write each other every day, tease around, joke, laught .. but he's not eager to see me or to spend some real time with me. As if he just wants to be sure that I'm around, but nothing more.
Sometimes, when I don't reply to him he gets really concened where I am and who am I with. We see each other once every week or every two weeks just to spend the night together (not intimately) and the rest of the time we just talk or write or whatever.
As I sad before, I really like him (not in love though) but what he gives me is not enough, so recently I started concidering dating and seeing other guys. Still, I do think how the Aries will react to that. I don't want to look as if I'm leaving him or I just don't want to hurt him by being with someone else.
I just don't know how to deal with all of that in such a way that no one gets hurt. 😢
I agree with cyberloon. But the more I read on it sounds like he's leading you on a bit . I have been there before and it sounds exactly like that. I am Aries woman woman and I have been hurt before but if feeling someone I won't only be seeing them once every week or two. The fact that he isn't eager isn't a good sign either. I think you are too available to him, you aren't committed so you should and can date whom ever you like without letting him know either. Hes sleeping with someone else and didn't feel he had to let you know. Give him as much space as possible, no
Calls text nothing. Be polite when he reaches out to you , but stop reaching out. Why is he only ready to fight when your waking out?
Calls text nothing. Be polite when he reaches out to you , but stop reaching out. Why is he only ready to fight when your waking out?
I know he is leading me and I know I'm the stupidest girl ever to fight for his feelings and attention.
It's just ... I've never felt a connection like that with any other man before. We r so much alike in so many ways that sometimes I can predict what he will do or how he will act.
That makes me a little bit vulnerable.
And BkBella, u r absolutelly right that I made myslef too available for him ... because it's always me who need to sacrifice her time or friends to see him. He's pretty egoistic if I have to be completely honest.
But somehow I find it really hard to break away and to open my eyes. Maybe because sometimes out of nowhere he tells me the sweetest things ever ... and maybe because I still live with the memories about how pushy he was at the beginning when we first started dating. Maybe I hope that he will once again turn into this guy if I stick around.
I know stupid, stupid, stupid ... and the worst part is ... he knows pretty well how I feel, but I have no idea how he feels toward me. I only know that he won't let go of me, but he wont keep me close enough either. 😢
It's just ... I've never felt a connection like that with any other man before. We r so much alike in so many ways that sometimes I can predict what he will do or how he will act.
That makes me a little bit vulnerable.
And BkBella, u r absolutelly right that I made myslef too available for him ... because it's always me who need to sacrifice her time or friends to see him. He's pretty egoistic if I have to be completely honest.
But somehow I find it really hard to break away and to open my eyes. Maybe because sometimes out of nowhere he tells me the sweetest things ever ... and maybe because I still live with the memories about how pushy he was at the beginning when we first started dating. Maybe I hope that he will once again turn into this guy if I stick around.
I know stupid, stupid, stupid ... and the worst part is ... he knows pretty well how I feel, but I have no idea how he feels toward me. I only know that he won't let go of me, but he wont keep me close enough either. 😢
Posted by galeona
I know he is leading me and I know I'm the stupidest girl ever to fight for his feelings and attention.
It's just ... I've never felt a connection like that with any other man before. We r so much alike in so many ways that sometimes I can predict what he will do or how he will act.
That makes me a little bit vulnerable.
And BkBella, u r absolutelly right that I made myslef too available for him ... because it's always me who need to sacrifice her time or friends to see him. He's pretty egoistic if I have to be completely honest.
But somehow I find it really hard to break away and to open my eyes. Maybe because sometimes out of nowhere he tells me the sweetest things ever ... and maybe because I still live with the memories about how pushy he was at the beginning when we first started dating. Maybe I hope that he will once again turn into this guy if I stick around.
I know stupid, stupid, stupid ... and the worst part is ... he knows pretty well how I feel, but I have no idea how he feels toward me. I only know that he won't let go of me, but he wont keep me close enough either. 😢
what connection? if you guys arent on the same page about what you want then you arent connected. And the reason he wont let you go because you are convenient, dont mistake it for anything else. Im not trying to he harsh but really i have been there. let him go for real not a week or month but for real, move on. If he fights for you then ok but if not then you really have your answer.
Posted by galeona
I know he is leading me and I know I'm the stupidest girl ever to fight for his feelings and attention.
It's just ... I've never felt a connection like that with any other man before. We r so much alike in so many ways that sometimes I can predict what he will do or how he will act.
That makes me a little bit vulnerable.
And BkBella, u r absolutelly right that I made myslef too available for him ... because it's always me who need to sacrifice her time or friends to see him. He's pretty egoistic if I have to be completely honest.
But somehow I find it really hard to break away and to open my eyes. Maybe because sometimes out of nowhere he tells me the sweetest things ever ... and maybe because I still live with the memories about how pushy he was at the beginning when we first started dating. Maybe I hope that he will once again turn into this guy if I stick around.
I know stupid, stupid, stupid ... and the worst part is ... he knows pretty well how I feel, but I have no idea how he feels toward me. I only know that he won't let go of me, but he wont keep me close enough either. 😢
You can't be afraid to lose him
Posted by galeona
I know he is leading me and I know I'm the stupidest girl ever to fight for his feelings and attention.
It's just ... I've never felt a connection like that with any other man before. We r so much alike in so many ways that sometimes I can predict what he will do or how he will act.
That makes me a little bit vulnerable.
And BkBella, u r absolutelly right that I made myslef too available for him ... because it's always me who need to sacrifice her time or friends to see him. He's pretty egoistic if I have to be completely honest.
But somehow I find it really hard to break away and to open my eyes. Maybe because sometimes out of nowhere he tells me the sweetest things ever ... and maybe because I still live with the memories about how pushy he was at the beginning when we first started dating. Maybe I hope that he will once again turn into this guy if I stick around.
I know stupid, stupid, stupid ... and the worst part is ... he knows pretty well how I feel, but I have no idea how he feels toward me. I only know that he won't let go of me, but he wont keep me close enough either. 😢
The whole thing for you doesn't sound too good. Everyone has met someone at some point in their lives where the "love" interest is almost like a drug, that person becomes addicting almost. The real "ickiness" is it almost seems like they know it and if they are mean, they will play on it for some sick pleasure - I'm not saying this Aries guy is doing that, but it is possible. You're much younger than I am and in my life I have learned to pin-point what it is about certain women that has a pull on me that for myself I know is not good for me - does that make sense? I started recognizing the WHY and it helped me to see it early on when dating someone new.
I'm not saying I have it all figured out. I don't! I just went through something with Cancer woman that was just messed up on every level - in the midst of it when they are being "nice" and "Sweet" you don't want to see anything else - unfortunately, it doesn't last - they pull away or start the games and you're left feeling terrible. Moving on probably feels difficult at this point, but sometimes it's the only option or you end up being sucked into a world that is filled with drama and pain - I speak from experience! It's tough, but you deserve better, truly!
The aries flatmate I had feelings for is now never to be after he kicked me out for being angry at him for sleeping around. I have no where to live so have live back with him until my course finishes and then I can leave him.
They are nice when you do what they expect and want you to do but turn as soon as you dont, just like most ppl I'd say. Not much else. But hey life goes on heh? Love comes and goes and life still goes on and its fucking awesome at the moment. Its actually a blessing to me that he is sleeping with other ppl, coz I get to be by myself and I can then meet other ppl. Both ppl are 'happy'. Still want to know if he is or not?
Just like everyone other star sign.
They are nice when you do what they expect and want you to do but turn as soon as you dont, just like most ppl I'd say. Not much else. But hey life goes on heh? Love comes and goes and life still goes on and its fucking awesome at the moment. Its actually a blessing to me that he is sleeping with other ppl, coz I get to be by myself and I can then meet other ppl. Both ppl are 'happy'. Still want to know if he is or not?
Just like everyone other star sign.
Usually aries are really nice ppl, kind and caring but this is different its like I have found something out he doesnt want me to know and he got ugly. Not sure if he is an aries at all coz the aries I know would never be like this. Guess thats the bad aries side to him.
He is with someone else so YEH lets have a PARTY!!
I am happy that he found someone else coz it does actually happen and coz I fell in love yesterday I just realised I was being so stupid in jealousy that I didnt realise I wasnt meant to be with him but maybe someone else or noone at all. Heh no done no, lets see shall we.
Still lovely ppl though
I am happy that he found someone else coz it does actually happen and coz I fell in love yesterday I just realised I was being so stupid in jealousy that I didnt realise I wasnt meant to be with him but maybe someone else or noone at all. Heh no done no, lets see shall we.
Still lovely ppl though
I will admit this though that even though I was attracted to him I never had sex with him. I felt as though if I let myself be with him everything would be alright he would not go elsewhere or get angry. I prefer to be by myself at this moment in time and sort myself out. I dont want to be with him I want to be with the pc guy who turned out to be a scam so for me to have have this happen in such a short space of time is very emotional and hard but I am coping alot better than i had thought. Yesterday was great it has made me realise life goes on and I am now over myex but want to make sure I am when I visit them all after finishing my course.
Yeh so really aries are fiery yet so sweet and caring and kind and beautiful and it depends on how you take them as to how they are.
Cyberloon you make a perfect sense 🙂 It's just hard to move on, when every time the other person is trying to stop. That gives me hope that the things could still change for better. I guess everyone has been in that situation at least at once in their life. We are not intimate so I can't say that he is using me for sex or sth like that. That is why I still hope that maybe he'll change his mind or that maybe he'll realize he wants to be with me ... I know this is stupid, so please don't judge me 😢
And BKBella - u r not harsh, u r absolutely righ in everything u say. And u got it right ... I'm just afraid that I move on I will lose him, and it will seem like I'm the one ruining the chance for us to be together 😢
And BKBella - u r not harsh, u r absolutely righ in everything u say. And u got it right ... I'm just afraid that I move on I will lose him, and it will seem like I'm the one ruining the chance for us to be together 😢
Oh and CYberloon ... I feel you for your Cancer woman situation.
My last Bf was a Cancer and I know that fire and water are somehow sttracted to each other .. but the combination is really unstable.
I also hated their dissapearnce thing, and their misterious way ... It was too much for me to stay.
I thought that fire goest best with fire ... but I guess I was wrong - having in mind my current situation.
My last Bf was a Cancer and I know that fire and water are somehow sttracted to each other .. but the combination is really unstable.
I also hated their dissapearnce thing, and their misterious way ... It was too much for me to stay.
I thought that fire goest best with fire ... but I guess I was wrong - having in mind my current situation.
Posted by Capriquoise
The aries flatmate I had feelings for is now never to be after he kicked me out for being angry at him for sleeping around. I have no where to live so have live back with him until my course finishes and then I can leave him.
They are nice when you do what they expect and want you to do but turn as soon as you dont, just like most ppl I'd say. Not much else. But hey life goes on heh? Love comes and goes and life still goes on and its fucking awesome at the moment. Its actually a blessing to me that he is sleeping with other ppl, coz I get to be by myself and I can then meet other ppl. Both ppl are 'happy'. Still want to know if he is or not?
Just like everyone other star sign.
HUH? Still want to know if he is or not what?
Posted by galeona
Cyberloon you make a perfect sense 🙂 It's just hard to move on, when every time the other person is trying to stop. That gives me hope that the things could still change for better. I guess everyone has been in that situation at least at once in their life. We are not intimate so I can't say that he is using me for sex or sth like that. That is why I still hope that maybe he'll change his mind or that maybe he'll realize he wants to be with me ... I know this is stupid, so please don't judge me 😢
And BKBella - u r not harsh, u r absolutely righ in everything u say. And u got it right ... I'm just afraid that I move on I will lose him, and it will seem like I'm the one ruining the chance for us to be together 😢
I actually think if you pull away a bit and give him space to think and to miss you your chances of being with him will be higher. Aries love the chase especially the men, make him work since you haven't slept with him , let him chase cuz thats what he loves to do.
BkBella ... We used to be intimate at the beginning, before I learned about the other girl.
After that there were lots of arguments between me and him and at the end he told me "You are the one who would set the boundaries between us, and I'll respect your decision no matter what, because with or without intimacy between us I want you in my life".
So for the past 3 months we have those strange relation I described above. When we met we don't have sex, just kiss, cuddle, tease around, talk ...
Two weeks ago he was a party with frinds and got drunk. He called me at 3am to appologies for the ass**** he is and to tell me that he missess me and that he heard our song at the disco that made him think of me all night long.
I know that right now I sound like 15 year old, stupid high-school girl ... Trust me I hate myself for being that way
After that there were lots of arguments between me and him and at the end he told me "You are the one who would set the boundaries between us, and I'll respect your decision no matter what, because with or without intimacy between us I want you in my life".
So for the past 3 months we have those strange relation I described above. When we met we don't have sex, just kiss, cuddle, tease around, talk ...
Two weeks ago he was a party with frinds and got drunk. He called me at 3am to appologies for the ass**** he is and to tell me that he missess me and that he heard our song at the disco that made him think of me all night long.
I know that right now I sound like 15 year old, stupid high-school girl ... Trust me I hate myself for being that way
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Do you have any advice on this situation?