Dating/chatting with someone not your level??

Last week, I met someone on Tinder. This person is very accomplished and we had a nice natural vibe. Last night while chatting, I realized he was very advanced in life. Now my current position/career is nothing to laugh at either (we had even discussed it briefly and he gave me kudos) but when he asked me about college, I told him that I had a year left but I wasnt sure if I wanted to complete it because I wanted to go into restaurant ownership so I hadnt made up my mind.

That was the last I text and I hadnt heard back today anything which is odd because he has reached out to me everyday since initially chatting on Tinder. He had even asked me out but we couldnt coordinate a date because he was going out of town for a bit and the night he wanted to I would have had to skip work which I wasnt going to do.

You may be wondering why I even mention it or may say thats nothing but once when I was dating an Aquarius last year, he kind of made me feel self - conscious about not completing my degree even though I have other accomplishments (money, work, publications - minor) on my own. So now Im somewhat obsessing if thats the reason the Aries hasnt reached out...please tell me Im crazy or overreacting? Do you guys date or would you date someone not necessarily on your level?

& before you crucify me, also note the only reason I more so started thinking about it, is that when I logged into Tinder today to read back over messages, I noticed his chat session was deleted. That only happens when your account is either deleted OR you blocked someone. And I didnt block him.

If you know me on here, I get over guys quickly but we had SUCH (or it appeared to be "such") a cool natural VIBE! It was so awesome!

I know it may be an irrational thought but any advice would help.

I was going to reach out to him but I dont want to seem needy or clingy simply because he hasnt responded back to a text from yesterday.

Get the following statement "Dating/chatting with someone not your level??" out of your mind when dealing with a Virgo.

They abhor people who make self deprecating comments.

You see it as Virgo perfectionism, where you know where you're at and you're realistic. He will see it as you not having confidence in yourself.

*when dealing with an Aries.

FUCK THE LACK OF AN EDIT BUTTON ON THIS SITE!

Posted by trashedbliss
Last week, I met someone on Tinder. This person is very accomplished and we had a nice natural vibe. Last night while chatting, I realized he was very advanced in life. Now my current position/career is nothing to laugh at either (we had even discussed it briefly and he gave me kudos) but when he asked me about college, I told him that I had a year left but I wasnt sure if I wanted to complete it because I wanted to go into restaurant ownership so I hadnt made up my mind.

That was the last I text and I hadnt heard back today anything which is odd because he has reached out to me everyday since initially chatting on Tinder. He had even asked me out but we couldnt coordinate a date because he was going out of town for a bit and the night he wanted to I would have had to skip work which I wasnt going to do.

You may be wondering why I even mention it or may say thats nothing but once when I was dating an Aquarius last year, he kind of made me feel self - conscious about not completing my degree even though I have other accomplishments (money, work, publications - minor) on my own. So now Im somewhat obsessing if thats the reason the Aries hasnt reached out...please tell me Im crazy or overreacting? Do you guys date or would you date someone not necessarily on your level?

Wouldn't that be kind of shallow if that was the only reason he didn't contact you back?

Or worse, that he has (possibly) blocked you without even contacting you because of it?

What I mean is that if your degree (or lack thereof) is that important to him-- are you sure you would want to date him?

I think you're overthinking this.

Men really don't care about that at the beginning. If he actually blew you off because of that, then Monty's on point..you don't need shallow people.

Being secure in yourself and who you are is always attractive. Dont worry about the extra stuff.

Thank you all for the excellent advice. I truly appreciate it and regardless of what happens with this Aries, it made me feel better. I just know I have some hang ups about my degree and some what odd validation towards it because I never even wanted to go and went out of obligation to my parents anyway.

Some of your points really hit home and yeah I totally agree with the "if he stops talking to you because you dont have a degree he's not worth it" bit. And yes lol Tinder does have a certain stigma towards it where its a materialistic shallow world haha. I just reactivated my Facebook (after 3 years hiatus) account to hire for my company (any friends in need etc) and decided to try it out since I was on there.

I may still reach out to him tomorrow just to see and post it here if any update 🙂

Posted by duchessedenemours
IMO, some people are education snobs. I've taken graduate courses an such and I think those people tend to be an inner circle and like to stay there.

But it could also simply be that your statement came across as unfocused and not ambitious to someone that is. If I were to read that statement, which you left off without positive reinforcement from what you've written here it would be a turn off because it comes across as not having a passion or goal.

Plus you barely know each other, so even though your friends and people IRL can appreciate other things, thats all he sees.

Anyway just some food for thought.

I don't really see "levels" because for the right people anything can be traversed. It's not about being good enough for someone else, it's about being good enough for yourself and that giving you confidence.

Excellent points lol. I kind of wanted to expound upon my passion (which is cooking/restaurants) and the fact that I wanted to open a small restaurant or be a home cook but the conversation didnt continue.

I also dropped out to travel and write and did that. Found an awesome gig. Get paid well and LOVE my boss and I told him that as well. So I dont believe its the lack of me but perhaps like you said - which is somewhat what I thought - he is a education snob/graduate snob.

OR lol as some have said, I could simply be overreacting due to sudden change in communications.

Posted by tiziani
Yeah, for the record I'm not saying Tinder is bad or good. Never used it myself to even know. Just saying it's the nature of the beast. I've been around people where they'll pull out the phone and start messing around on Tinder because they're bored. It's funny but at the same time brutal. When I first was told what it is I was thinking wow people's attention spans have really been narrowed down to a second or less.

You're right about the above statement. I as well am guilty of just "swiping" for boredom. But he seemed different than the other guys. He could have just been working on his game as well. Another option haha. But for the moment *sighs* it was nice! lol.

He could be that shallow and tbh the majority of people are shallow to some extent in the beginning stages of dating. I think we all go through the process of filtering out those that dont meet whatever "standards" we've set for ourselves. He could have been dating someone else as well and they decided to be exclusive or he could just be a jerk face. Dont get down about it though, as everyone else said if he is able to just throw out the connection you have over your education choice, he's likely not the man for you. Keep dating and have fun with it!

Posted by Impulsv
Don't mind it. I had one not return text after I said was in process of moving!!
How is that a big deal lol!!

LOL! Geesh

Posted by purplerain
He could be that shallow and tbh the majority of people are shallow to some extent in the beginning stages of dating. I think we all go through the process of filtering out those that dont meet whatever "standards" we've set for ourselves. He could have been dating someone else as well and they decided to be exclusive or he could just be a jerk face. Dont get down about it though, as everyone else said if he is able to just throw out the connection you have over your education choice, he's likely not the man for you. Keep dating and have fun with it!

Wonderfully put! 🙂

LOR, I only focused on the title.

I am an Aries now, I don't read OPs 😄

I see your point.

Posted by duchessedenemours

Posted by trashedbliss


Excellent points lol. I kind of wanted to expound upon my passion (which is cooking/restaurants) and the fact that I wanted to open a small restaurant or be a home cook but the conversation didnt continue.

I also dropped out to travel and write and did that. Found an awesome gig. Get paid well and LOVE my boss and I told him that as well. So I dont believe its the lack of me but perhaps like you said - which is somewhat what I thought - he is a education snob/graduate snob.

OR lol as some have said, I could simply be overreacting due to sudden change in communications.

See in that case it would be better to say, "I put university on hold and have traveled and had this career and am thinking about opening a restaurant, etc".

In general, leave things on a positive note and it gets better results.

click to expand

LOL! Its funny you say that because as I was texting "dropped out" I was thinking "perhaps this isnt the best way to put this..." but when I added other things about my passions I figured they would overlook that...

Posted by duchessedenemours
I don't know if its about being shallow. If you don't know someone all you know is what they present. Sometimes things get miscommunicated. And it's usually neither persons fault if it goes wrong. It's not even really something to take personally.

Lol thats a bit easier said than done but I will heed your advice and keep it.

The higher education system is a business market. It's designed to make a profit and perpetuate a status quo. Most of the research done at these institutions is funded by major corporations. It seems the higher the education, the more stifling, escpcially for the people who go from undergrad to post graduate with out a break. They don't give themselves time to gain a fine tuned perspective of life. Their lives becomes too heavily influenced by all the institutions they attended.

Posted by DonAmanMarat
I have no college degree and I make more money than my friends who got degrees with the exception of one, and hes a chiropractor with his own business. It doesnt make you smarter because you went to college, it usually only means you drank too much and had wild drug orgies...certainly not qualities I look for in a person.
I dont judge women based on the degree of education however, I look for ones who have a decent job or can contribute financially. Sometimes they come with a degree, or other times not even close. Mostly I prefer someone who isn't a snob and believes that a college degree equates success akin to some type of feudal system hierarchy. People like that I tend to avoid.

I dont know you. I dont know where you live. But if I did, I would find you and give you a flower. That was beautifully written. I loved it.

Posted by CreativeCap
The higher education system is a business market. It's designed to make a profit and perpetuate a status quo. Most of the research done at these institutions is funded by major corporations. It seems the higher the education, the more stifling, escpcially for the people who go from undergrad to post graduate with out a break. They don't give themselves time to gain a fine tuned perspective of life. Their lives becomes too heavily influenced by all the institutions they attended.

I actually tried to explain this to my father when I was younger as reason why I didnt want to go. College isnt like it was in the 50s and 60s when they were coming up. I have friends who have Masters degrees who are working at Toys R Us now and they went to great schools. Its an institution for financial gain made off the backs and loans of young kids.

Posted by trashedbliss

Posted by CreativeCap
The higher education system is a business market. It's designed to make a profit and perpetuate a status quo. Most of the research done at these institutions is funded by major corporations. It seems the higher the education, the more stifling, escpcially for the people who go from undergrad to post graduate with out a break. They don't give themselves time to gain a fine tuned perspective of life. Their lives becomes too heavily influenced by all the institutions they attended.

I actually tried to explain this to my father when I was younger as reason why I didnt want to go. College isnt like it was in the 50s and 60s when they were coming up. I have friends who have Masters degrees who are working at Toys R Us now and they went to great schools. Its an institution for financial gain made off the backs and loans of young kids.

click to expand

Yep. I wish I had that insight. It would have saved me thousands on student loans. Still a gainful experience, an expensive one though.

...it's TINDER. You expect anyone to have substance there?

...also

http://www.policymic.com/articles/88643/this-woman-came-up-with-a-brilliant-response-to-sexist-creeps-of-tinder<BR>
lolz

Posted by rockyroadicecream
...it's TINDER. You expect anyone to have substance there?

Actually yes. As previously stated I know that some people use if for reckless things and sexual conquests but there are some men and women who have found substance and are looking for that. I know a few success stories as well.

If anyone cares, I text and he responded and we conversed briefly like usual. He told me what he was doing and it simmered down. Maybe he, like myself, just needed a quiet day. I do through moments like that (Aqua rising).

So as some of you said, I probably overreacted into my Virgo insecurity that comes when sudden change occurs. Its nice to know that some of you give good critical advice though. Thanks again! Regardless of what happens 🙂