BlueVirgo
@BlueVirgo
19 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 36 · Topics: 6
It hurt's like hell !!!
Understanding Aries Men's Behavior in Breakups
Aries men can be impulsive and struggle with commitment, especially when complex family issues are involved. Their actions may seem cruel but often stem from confusion or a desire for independence. They may oscillate between love and withdrawal, making it hard to predict their reactions regarding children and relationships.
"him and I had a fight about a ex calling and her taking out child support due to him having a new child with me"
———?
So, are you saying that you got pissed off because he has to feed another child?
"can aries be that cruel....to be here one minute a loving,supportive father and lover........then turn your back and go be with someone else and forget about your kid"
If you fought with him about taking care of one child .. then isn't that in fact, being angry at him because he DIDN'T, "forget about your kid".
It doesn't make sense .. you want him to take care of YOUR child with him, but, not ALL his children? wtf?
Sorry, that this sounds so cold, BlueVirgo .. but, I went back through the posts and this is something that's been going on since Novemeber .. Roxi, FB and others have answered this same question over and over again .. you're not listening.
Back then .. you were arguing with him because he has a child with another woman.
BlueVirgo .. HE HAS A CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN .. you are expecting him to disregard one child and he apparantly can't do that .. that is WHY you two are still arguing about it .. get over it .. he's a man who is doing exactly what he is suppose to do.
You don't need help in understanding him .. you need help in understanding that he isn't going to forsake his "other" child for you.
———?
So, are you saying that you got pissed off because he has to feed another child?
"can aries be that cruel....to be here one minute a loving,supportive father and lover........then turn your back and go be with someone else and forget about your kid"
If you fought with him about taking care of one child .. then isn't that in fact, being angry at him because he DIDN'T, "forget about your kid".
It doesn't make sense .. you want him to take care of YOUR child with him, but, not ALL his children? wtf?
Sorry, that this sounds so cold, BlueVirgo .. but, I went back through the posts and this is something that's been going on since Novemeber .. Roxi, FB and others have answered this same question over and over again .. you're not listening.
Back then .. you were arguing with him because he has a child with another woman.
BlueVirgo .. HE HAS A CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN .. you are expecting him to disregard one child and he apparantly can't do that .. that is WHY you two are still arguing about it .. get over it .. he's a man who is doing exactly what he is suppose to do.
You don't need help in understanding him .. you need help in understanding that he isn't going to forsake his "other" child for you.
P-Angel.....I apologize I didn't type it correctly...as you can recall I had a ex calling and I spoke with him a couple of times in front of the Aries and he flipped and we had a fight due to him thinking I was either going back to him or having sex with him because at the beginning of my pregnancy I did at one point......Only because I was afraid of him going back to his ex.....
But we kissed and I thought made up after the call....
because we madlove that night before we went to sleep....
Even though he made the comment I was going to work tomorrow and you will be able to talk to him all you want.....
then he comes home earlier.....after he called gave a time and comes earlier than the original time and says he's living going back to her......
Oh also I have no problem with him caring for the kid.....
I condone that.......
I just thought it was ironic it all happen at the same time.....
when thay had court the next day....
See I wasn't saying I was mad about her calling or him caring for his other child...
I don't know why he is being so cruel towards me and my child.....
He claimed to wnt to be here and love me.....
what changed....I don't understand the way the ariesman think....
Gemfox read my post under ConfusedCapi.......
But we kissed and I thought made up after the call....
because we madlove that night before we went to sleep....
Even though he made the comment I was going to work tomorrow and you will be able to talk to him all you want.....
then he comes home earlier.....after he called gave a time and comes earlier than the original time and says he's living going back to her......
Oh also I have no problem with him caring for the kid.....
I condone that.......
I just thought it was ironic it all happen at the same time.....
when thay had court the next day....
See I wasn't saying I was mad about her calling or him caring for his other child...
I don't know why he is being so cruel towards me and my child.....
He claimed to wnt to be here and love me.....
what changed....I don't understand the way the ariesman think....
Gemfox read my post under ConfusedCapi.......
From what I understand it seems that you and this other woman allow him to go back and forth...why should he stop from having his cake and eat it to if you are both allowing him to. That doesnt make it right but you need to take a stand for yourself and say no more. Its a very sad situation because there are children envolved. But from what I understand this has been going on for three years now...what makes you think that its going to stop now that you two have a child together. Its obvious this guy has either some comitment issues or he is just really confused on who he wants to be with. I really dont know the whole story...I looked for the post that you mentioned about (confused capi) but was unable to find it. The main concern is your child now...you need to figure out what is best for your child. Yes, I understand you want to be with him but do you know for sure that once you get him he will never leave again? Is he in it for the good and the bad? Is he there to make this little family work or will he leave again for the ex? YO YO!!!! Is that what you want to be....thats a horrible feeling...been there! There was no child envolved but I did date someone for five years who was in and out...its a horrible feeling to not know where your relationship stands from one week to the next. I am sure he will phone you again...sure of it! If you want to get him back play hard to get....I know its hard because of your child but the way I see it is men/women always want what they cant have. It seems to me that you have been back and forth for several years so he is probably confident that once he is ready to return he feels he will be able to without any problem...show him he cant and that he needs to be in it for the long hall....
good luck babe
good luck babe
"It's not his sign BlueVirgo,it's him!".
I agree!
I agree!
men/women always want what they cant have - this is an aries thing by the way, at least for me, I always find a challenge much more interesting....love the chase....
""Then suddenly he come home and rolls over like a block of ice""
BlueVirgo .. I hate to be the one to say this, however, I am a very direct and point blank kind of person ..
.. it's not the Aries fire you have to worry about
.. it's the ice
Has he given you ice-cubes since this happened in the above quote?
BlueVirgo .. I hate to be the one to say this, however, I am a very direct and point blank kind of person ..
.. it's not the Aries fire you have to worry about
.. it's the ice
Has he given you ice-cubes since this happened in the above quote?
Wow Bluevirgo,
I found your post...very intense. You throwing the ex boyfriend in his face.......not good!!!!!!! We dont share nicely. Remember this when an Aries is truly done, they are done for good. Be careful of your hurtful words. I know we tend to say some very hurtful/mean things but we hate it when its done to us it makes us lash out even more and we are very vengful people.... Double standard...I know but its just the way we are.
.. it's not the Aries fire you have to worry about
.. it's the ice
excellent way of putting it...
I found your post...very intense. You throwing the ex boyfriend in his face.......not good!!!!!!! We dont share nicely. Remember this when an Aries is truly done, they are done for good. Be careful of your hurtful words. I know we tend to say some very hurtful/mean things but we hate it when its done to us it makes us lash out even more and we are very vengful people.... Double standard...I know but its just the way we are.
.. it's not the Aries fire you have to worry about
.. it's the ice
excellent way of putting it...
I am not saying that he was right in all he did prior to you lashing out, I am simply just commenting on that particular part because it stood out to me...he is obviously searching for attention from you by throwing all those little comments at you. Are you not giving him the attention he needs? Remember us Aries thrive off attention. I am confused dont know.......(thinking)
I know this seems really cruel and heartless on his part .. and it's your pain that is what is so hard to bear at the moment and it's tearing you up. But, it seems that ALL your thoughts are consumed with the fear of him leaving you. When I went back and looked to previous conversations in November and January .. this was an all-consuming "fear" at those times, too.
The Aries likes strong people, BlueVirgo .. they just do. You had said (paraphrasing) on one of those posts that it was your strength, or independence that attracted him to you in the first place .. where did that BlueVirgo go? He probably asks the same thing in his mind.
When he walked out the other day, has he contacted you since?
Lv24 was right when she said that this is made easy for him .. he has both of you wrapped around his fingers .. you both sit and await the sound of his footsteps to walk through the door.
Stand tall, be confident in yourself .. show him the woman he fell in love with.
That's what he's looking for .. he's probably wondering where you went.
The Aries likes strong people, BlueVirgo .. they just do. You had said (paraphrasing) on one of those posts that it was your strength, or independence that attracted him to you in the first place .. where did that BlueVirgo go? He probably asks the same thing in his mind.
When he walked out the other day, has he contacted you since?
Lv24 was right when she said that this is made easy for him .. he has both of you wrapped around his fingers .. you both sit and await the sound of his footsteps to walk through the door.
Stand tall, be confident in yourself .. show him the woman he fell in love with.
That's what he's looking for .. he's probably wondering where you went.
Lv24 I understand what your saying but how was i suppose to react to someone telling me he think he should go back to his other family.....
After I repeatedly have ask this man if this is what he wanted and wanted to be ....and how he feels and he has said he loves me and want to be here....
I feel used as if he wanted to leave all along.....
Why play with my feelings and turn your back on your child for another women and her baby......
I admit after he taunted me and admitted to coming home to piss me off.....I became very angry....because at that point I couldn't tell wether it was over for real after everything he said or was he trying to see were my heart was because he was insecure about the ex......
after my comments about the ex he goes "That's what I was waiting to hear" as if he was trying to push my buttons to get me to admit to something......
I mean how can he go to not loving me anymore and wanted to be here for his child just like that.......
The roll over like a Icecube came before the ex starting calling.....this came after and was done in front of him to get his attention....
It was like all week he couldn't keep his hands off me and then suddenly he would come in a little later and hang out a little more and not be as attentive as he was at first....
I mean may be its over....I can't deny I still love him and want him.....
I thought aries was very forgiving.....
lv24 you mention his comments being as if he needed attention can you elaborate a little more on that......
I guess if aries decide its over then its really over then palying hard to get is senseless.....
After I repeatedly have ask this man if this is what he wanted and wanted to be ....and how he feels and he has said he loves me and want to be here....
I feel used as if he wanted to leave all along.....
Why play with my feelings and turn your back on your child for another women and her baby......
I admit after he taunted me and admitted to coming home to piss me off.....I became very angry....because at that point I couldn't tell wether it was over for real after everything he said or was he trying to see were my heart was because he was insecure about the ex......
after my comments about the ex he goes "That's what I was waiting to hear" as if he was trying to push my buttons to get me to admit to something......
I mean how can he go to not loving me anymore and wanted to be here for his child just like that.......
The roll over like a Icecube came before the ex starting calling.....this came after and was done in front of him to get his attention....
It was like all week he couldn't keep his hands off me and then suddenly he would come in a little later and hang out a little more and not be as attentive as he was at first....
I mean may be its over....I can't deny I still love him and want him.....
I thought aries was very forgiving.....
lv24 you mention his comments being as if he needed attention can you elaborate a little more on that......
I guess if aries decide its over then its really over then palying hard to get is senseless.....
LOl.......
I Posted this before reading arianlatay post........
But I hope you don't explode because you sound a bit frustrated my dear.....
I geuss that's apart of the problem too that aries and i have a difficult time communicating....
But to answer P angel question No. I haven't heard from him since this happen....
I feel I am still a very strong person.....I just allowed him to see how much i relly love him.....
and I think that scared him.....because I have a passionthat's out of contol for him....
I am afraid of lsing him because I love him.....I may have been a little manipulative in some ways but he has been aslo.....
With the comments as you stated he made to get my attention....
I feel I'm pretty strong I don't know all that chart stuff but I wonder are we just not compatible....
ME: virgo sun
capricorn moon
venus leo
Rising cancer
I know very little about his chart
HIM: aries sun
venus Taurus
That's all I know but whatever help you ladies can give......I'm all ears
I Posted this before reading arianlatay post........
But I hope you don't explode because you sound a bit frustrated my dear.....
I geuss that's apart of the problem too that aries and i have a difficult time communicating....
But to answer P angel question No. I haven't heard from him since this happen....
I feel I am still a very strong person.....I just allowed him to see how much i relly love him.....
and I think that scared him.....because I have a passionthat's out of contol for him....
I am afraid of lsing him because I love him.....I may have been a little manipulative in some ways but he has been aslo.....
With the comments as you stated he made to get my attention....
I feel I'm pretty strong I don't know all that chart stuff but I wonder are we just not compatible....
ME: virgo sun
capricorn moon
venus leo
Rising cancer
I know very little about his chart
HIM: aries sun
venus Taurus
That's all I know but whatever help you ladies can give......I'm all ears
" ..turn your back on your child for another women and her baby"
See .. I sensed this was the angst, eventhough you deny it.
This isn't another woman and HER baby, BlueVirgo .. it's HIS baby.
"The roll over like a Icecube came before the ex starting calling.....this came after and was done in front of him to get his attention"
Oh .. so it was you who turned cold on him and gave ice .. I thought it was the other way around.
BlueVirgo .. let me explain something to you about the Ram, if I may .. you are confused as to why he would say he loves you, act as though he loves you, say he wants to spend his life with you and help you to raise yours and his child together .. then, turn around and speak of another woman, say he's going to go over there under a suspected pretense of visiting his child, etc. .. in your mind, you're questioning, how could he do this and still love me? Am I supposed to be playing hard to get? So, in thinking this, you contact the ex, you roll over cold .. you play the game ..
Unfortunately, you are playing the wrong game .. you are responding in a way he is NOT looking for.
It's unclear to me how in the world you two have been together for so long and you don't have an awareness to this .. when he does this, he's NOT looking for you to do the same as him, he's NOT looking for you to call the ex, to look at another man, to play hard-to-get, none of it .. what he's looking for is ..
... attention on himself.
When he does this .. your response SHOULD be to stroke his pride, his ego .. tell him he's gorgeous, go to the grocery store and pick up his favorite food to cook him, ask him about his day and participate in sharing with him the adventures he had, suggest a bubble bath together and make him completely submit to your bathing him, hint about something special you've got planned for his birthday while withholding the actual details so he will get all excited .. anything that you can think of that revolves around HIM getting good, positive feelings that you adore him.
When the Aries does this .. tries to make you jealous .. they are needing your undivided attention and affection to be bestowed upon them exclusively.
When you respond by trying to make him jealous back, or turning a cold-heart .. then what you are accomplishing is actually pushing him away because he will believe you don't absolutely adore him.
See .. I sensed this was the angst, eventhough you deny it.
This isn't another woman and HER baby, BlueVirgo .. it's HIS baby.
"The roll over like a Icecube came before the ex starting calling.....this came after and was done in front of him to get his attention"
Oh .. so it was you who turned cold on him and gave ice .. I thought it was the other way around.
BlueVirgo .. let me explain something to you about the Ram, if I may .. you are confused as to why he would say he loves you, act as though he loves you, say he wants to spend his life with you and help you to raise yours and his child together .. then, turn around and speak of another woman, say he's going to go over there under a suspected pretense of visiting his child, etc. .. in your mind, you're questioning, how could he do this and still love me? Am I supposed to be playing hard to get? So, in thinking this, you contact the ex, you roll over cold .. you play the game ..
Unfortunately, you are playing the wrong game .. you are responding in a way he is NOT looking for.
It's unclear to me how in the world you two have been together for so long and you don't have an awareness to this .. when he does this, he's NOT looking for you to do the same as him, he's NOT looking for you to call the ex, to look at another man, to play hard-to-get, none of it .. what he's looking for is ..
... attention on himself.
When he does this .. your response SHOULD be to stroke his pride, his ego .. tell him he's gorgeous, go to the grocery store and pick up his favorite food to cook him, ask him about his day and participate in sharing with him the adventures he had, suggest a bubble bath together and make him completely submit to your bathing him, hint about something special you've got planned for his birthday while withholding the actual details so he will get all excited .. anything that you can think of that revolves around HIM getting good, positive feelings that you adore him.
When the Aries does this .. tries to make you jealous .. they are needing your undivided attention and affection to be bestowed upon them exclusively.
When you respond by trying to make him jealous back, or turning a cold-heart .. then what you are accomplishing is actually pushing him away because he will believe you don't absolutely adore him.
You're so wrapped up in your own feelings of despair and despondency that your NOT listening to anything else .. you're NOT being aware of what he is trying to evoke out of you ..
.. he wants you to make him the king of your world, not whimper to him about what he's doing wrong.
.. he wants you to adore him and pamper him .. that is what he is trying to get out of you.
Stop trying to mimick his game of making you jealous, stop moaning about how miserable you are .. and for Heaven's Sake, don't do this in front of him, or he'll lose what little patience he has left. Stop fussing and fretting about this woman who has HIS child .. instead, make him the sun that brightens your world every morning, reassure him that he is, indeed, your Knight in Shining Armor to whom you are bound, have confidence in him that he knows how to be the man of your dreams ..
.. encourage him, BlueVirgo to be your man .. don't discourage him by making him think another can take his place.
Aries responds to positive reinforcement, not negative de-construction.
They push forwards .. you want him to take a step backwards.
He can be your entire world .. let him, want him to .. show him by having all eyes, ears, heart and soul for him and him alone.
.. he wants you to make him the king of your world, not whimper to him about what he's doing wrong.
.. he wants you to adore him and pamper him .. that is what he is trying to get out of you.
Stop trying to mimick his game of making you jealous, stop moaning about how miserable you are .. and for Heaven's Sake, don't do this in front of him, or he'll lose what little patience he has left. Stop fussing and fretting about this woman who has HIS child .. instead, make him the sun that brightens your world every morning, reassure him that he is, indeed, your Knight in Shining Armor to whom you are bound, have confidence in him that he knows how to be the man of your dreams ..
.. encourage him, BlueVirgo to be your man .. don't discourage him by making him think another can take his place.
Aries responds to positive reinforcement, not negative de-construction.
They push forwards .. you want him to take a step backwards.
He can be your entire world .. let him, want him to .. show him by having all eyes, ears, heart and soul for him and him alone.
"I just allowed him to see how much i relly love him.....and I think that scared him.....because I have a passionthat's out of contol for him....
I am afraid of lsing him because I love him.....I may have been a little manipulative in some ways but he has been aslo....."
That's doubtful, that you scard him by letting him see that you love him .. the Ram is NOT afraid of love, BlueVirgo. However, I whole-heartedly believe that your passion is out-of-control .. actually, that's not entirely true, it's not out of control, rather, mis-guided.
You're focused on the pain, the terror, the loneliness, the betrayal ..
.. instead, focus on the joy, the happiness, the union together FOR him, rather than against him .. that is the way to the Ram's heart. If you push, intrude upon his space, place too much emotional baggage on him to digest, any negative emotion in excess .. he'll bail.
He's got a lot of pressure, a lot of responsibilities .. and when he comes home, he gets a lot of grief from an out-of-control female who is likely clinging to his every word and every movement from "fear".
Reel him back in, BlueVirgo .. show him that you love him by supporting him, rather than doubting him.
He needs you to adore him and trust him .. show him you do.
I am afraid of lsing him because I love him.....I may have been a little manipulative in some ways but he has been aslo....."
That's doubtful, that you scard him by letting him see that you love him .. the Ram is NOT afraid of love, BlueVirgo. However, I whole-heartedly believe that your passion is out-of-control .. actually, that's not entirely true, it's not out of control, rather, mis-guided.
You're focused on the pain, the terror, the loneliness, the betrayal ..
.. instead, focus on the joy, the happiness, the union together FOR him, rather than against him .. that is the way to the Ram's heart. If you push, intrude upon his space, place too much emotional baggage on him to digest, any negative emotion in excess .. he'll bail.
He's got a lot of pressure, a lot of responsibilities .. and when he comes home, he gets a lot of grief from an out-of-control female who is likely clinging to his every word and every movement from "fear".
Reel him back in, BlueVirgo .. show him that you love him by supporting him, rather than doubting him.
He needs you to adore him and trust him .. show him you do.
PAngel I hear you loud and clear but I just don't know how.....
I have already pushed him away by the things I've done and said .....
Because he is back with her for a fact.....
a mutual friend has told me that he is back staying with her again...
so you see I feel like a fool to call and go through all the motions of proving myself to reel him back....
When he really did go back to her.....I'm so afraid that he is not crying for my attention that he actually wants to be there....
what if I do all the things you mentioned and he rejects me again and says he already told me what he wanted and thats to be there.....
My heart won't be able to take it.....
I have already pushed him away by the things I've done and said .....
Because he is back with her for a fact.....
a mutual friend has told me that he is back staying with her again...
so you see I feel like a fool to call and go through all the motions of proving myself to reel him back....
When he really did go back to her.....I'm so afraid that he is not crying for my attention that he actually wants to be there....
what if I do all the things you mentioned and he rejects me again and says he already told me what he wanted and thats to be there.....
My heart won't be able to take it.....
Me too .. the love is there. He wouldn't have invested this much time if it wasn't. He's just being pulled in so many directions right now that he's bound to do something wrong .. and that could be an issue for him, too.
Failure isn't something they will do gracefully .. and with so many things pulling on him, there's no way he can do all effectively.
BlueVirgo .. I, too, think this can still work. Right now, just back off, let him think this through. Maybe he is staying at this child's home, but, that doesn't mean that he has stopped loving you and wanting to be with you. You don't know that he's sleeping with her .. you really don't. Give him some time to figure this out .. in the mean time, focus on trying to improve your state-of-mind.
Go do the things that YOU really enjoy .. do a photoshoot, or write some poetry .. whatever it is that makes you feel really good about yourself, so you can pick yourself back up again. Once you get in a better frame of mind .. you'll be able to think clearer and be able to see the positive aspects to your relationship with him.
Then, when he comes back .. he'll see that beautiful BlueVirgo again that he so loved.
Failure isn't something they will do gracefully .. and with so many things pulling on him, there's no way he can do all effectively.
BlueVirgo .. I, too, think this can still work. Right now, just back off, let him think this through. Maybe he is staying at this child's home, but, that doesn't mean that he has stopped loving you and wanting to be with you. You don't know that he's sleeping with her .. you really don't. Give him some time to figure this out .. in the mean time, focus on trying to improve your state-of-mind.
Go do the things that YOU really enjoy .. do a photoshoot, or write some poetry .. whatever it is that makes you feel really good about yourself, so you can pick yourself back up again. Once you get in a better frame of mind .. you'll be able to think clearer and be able to see the positive aspects to your relationship with him.
Then, when he comes back .. he'll see that beautiful BlueVirgo again that he so loved.
I think your missing my point..... everyone saying its okay for him to be there living and sleeping with this women wich he did most of my prgnancy and now here after.....
I admit I am hurt and focused on my pain and want him back also....
Maybe I don't get it because it sounds like you all telling me to disregard he left me for her and he is their sleeping with her.....
and beg for him to come back.....
I mean what do I really do..... one person says wait he will call and to play hard to get and another say go after him risk getting told I don't want you as I told you before....
ladies I want to do what your telling me but do you think i should wait for him to make contact to be sure he still wants to deal with me or should i make the first move....
From what I gather aries don't like to be chased after....
His birthday is sunday I was hoping he call to see her for his birthday....
I just don't want to be rejected......
I mean i know he has this I'm not going to call her if she don't call me attitude but under these circumstances..... he has never told me he was leaving me to go back to an ex......we always seem to drift apart in the past..... this time he actually broke it off with me...... and admitting to caring about her.....
I admit I am hurt and focused on my pain and want him back also....
Maybe I don't get it because it sounds like you all telling me to disregard he left me for her and he is their sleeping with her.....
and beg for him to come back.....
I mean what do I really do..... one person says wait he will call and to play hard to get and another say go after him risk getting told I don't want you as I told you before....
ladies I want to do what your telling me but do you think i should wait for him to make contact to be sure he still wants to deal with me or should i make the first move....
From what I gather aries don't like to be chased after....
His birthday is sunday I was hoping he call to see her for his birthday....
I just don't want to be rejected......
I mean i know he has this I'm not going to call her if she don't call me attitude but under these circumstances..... he has never told me he was leaving me to go back to an ex......we always seem to drift apart in the past..... this time he actually broke it off with me...... and admitting to caring about her.....
What I think you should do is neither chase him down, nor, sit and wait for him .. rather, focus on what you need to do to improve your well-being and your child's. For, even IF you did make a move to contact him, or he contacted you .. you are still in this same frame of mind that revolves around the negative aspects of your relationship with him .. so, inevitably .. the same fall will take place that will leave the two of you at odds with each other. This seems to be the pattern all along .. it isn't working. Yet, you two get back together and keep trying .. this is evidence that the love is there.
Turn yourself around .. be the person he wants you to be, and when he sees your strength, your resolve and love for him that was your tool to pick yourelf back up for him, because of him .. he will, too.
He wants it work, or he wouldn't keep coming back, BlueVirgo .. but, something has to happen for you to realize that according to your history with him, the current attitudes isn't working.
I truly don't believe he is gone for good. Nobody thinks, or says that it's ok for him to be sleeping with another woman .. a person can't stop another from doing, or not doing anything .. a person can't change another, can't control another .. the only thing a person can do, is change themselves, control themselves.
Maybe if he sees that you've gained yourself back .. he will, too. You know he doesn't want to be with her .. he may, indeed be doing it, but, you know he doesn't want to ..
.. because he wants to be with you.
Turn yourself around .. be the person he wants you to be, and when he sees your strength, your resolve and love for him that was your tool to pick yourelf back up for him, because of him .. he will, too.
He wants it work, or he wouldn't keep coming back, BlueVirgo .. but, something has to happen for you to realize that according to your history with him, the current attitudes isn't working.
I truly don't believe he is gone for good. Nobody thinks, or says that it's ok for him to be sleeping with another woman .. a person can't stop another from doing, or not doing anything .. a person can't change another, can't control another .. the only thing a person can do, is change themselves, control themselves.
Maybe if he sees that you've gained yourself back .. he will, too. You know he doesn't want to be with her .. he may, indeed be doing it, but, you know he doesn't want to ..
.. because he wants to be with you.
"everyone saying its okay for him to be there living and sleeping with this women wich he did most of my prgnancy and now here after"
To tell you the truth, if this were me .. if I was the woman in your place .. this whole scenerio wouldn't even be an issue because no matter how much I loved him, if he slept with another woman while I was carrying HIS child ..
.. I would deem him unworthy of me.
To tell you the truth, if this were me .. if I was the woman in your place .. this whole scenerio wouldn't even be an issue because no matter how much I loved him, if he slept with another woman while I was carrying HIS child ..
.. I would deem him unworthy of me.
"we always seem to drift apart in the past..... this time he actually broke it off with me...... and admitting to caring about her"
If you truly believe in your heart that this time, he is gone for good .. then, there is nothing you can do, except find a way to turn this pain into strength.
But, that's not to say that one day, he won't want to try to be with you again. The question is .. would he be worth having to you?
You need to figure out what's good for you .. if he is good for you, and he comes back, then it's imparative that some changes me made with regards to how each other is treated, or you'll end up right back in the same place, again. And, the only person you can change is .. yourself.
If you truly believe in your heart that this time, he is gone for good .. then, there is nothing you can do, except find a way to turn this pain into strength.
But, that's not to say that one day, he won't want to try to be with you again. The question is .. would he be worth having to you?
You need to figure out what's good for you .. if he is good for you, and he comes back, then it's imparative that some changes me made with regards to how each other is treated, or you'll end up right back in the same place, again. And, the only person you can change is .. yourself.
P Angel I know I can't change him but the thought that he is there and I know him....
He is most definitely sleeping with her.....
But I do understand I can't control anyone but myself...... I just want to be clear on the advice you are giving me........
I undrstand what you say I need to do but......my question to was should I wait for him to come around to implement these things......
or should I call him ......being that I hear aries men don't like the chase after them thing.....
I was told on another board that no contact get their attention..... so I was hoping to stay distant for some time and hopefully he will call....
or any suggestion on how I get his attention......
Also the reason I mention his b-day was sunday was because I was hoping that would be an opportunity to see him....... if he came around to see his child or called to try to be open and more understanding to him.......
I figured it will be a point of contact....
and lastly arianlatay your advice is appreciated sweetie but your delivery need to change.....
becasue one problem I have with aries and the reason we bump heads because when he try to get fly out the mouth it don't set well with me.....
I don't know wether you know or not virgo's can be very brash and harsh too.....
so most of the time he's ego gets hurt in the process.....
But as i said your advice is appreciated but I comprehend very well.....
the virgo mind is sharp but I like information in detail and with clarity and that I find hard to be able to undestand coming from an aries......
He is most definitely sleeping with her.....
But I do understand I can't control anyone but myself...... I just want to be clear on the advice you are giving me........
I undrstand what you say I need to do but......my question to was should I wait for him to come around to implement these things......
or should I call him ......being that I hear aries men don't like the chase after them thing.....
I was told on another board that no contact get their attention..... so I was hoping to stay distant for some time and hopefully he will call....
or any suggestion on how I get his attention......
Also the reason I mention his b-day was sunday was because I was hoping that would be an opportunity to see him....... if he came around to see his child or called to try to be open and more understanding to him.......
I figured it will be a point of contact....
and lastly arianlatay your advice is appreciated sweetie but your delivery need to change.....
becasue one problem I have with aries and the reason we bump heads because when he try to get fly out the mouth it don't set well with me.....
I don't know wether you know or not virgo's can be very brash and harsh too.....
so most of the time he's ego gets hurt in the process.....
But as i said your advice is appreciated but I comprehend very well.....
the virgo mind is sharp but I like information in detail and with clarity and that I find hard to be able to undestand coming from an aries......
P Angel I know I can't change him but the thought that he is there and I know him....
He is most definitely sleeping with her.....
But I do understand I can't control anyone but myself...... I just want to be clear on the advice you are giving me........
I undrstand what you say I need to do but......my question to was should I wait for him to come around to implement these things......
or should I call him ......being that I hear aries men don't like the chase after them thing.....
I was told on another board that no contact get their attention..... so I was hoping to stay distant for some time and hopefully he will call....
or any suggestion on how I get his attention......
Also the reason I mention his b-day was sunday was because I was hoping that would be an opportunity to see him....... if he came around to see his child or called to try to be open and more understanding to him.......
I figured it will be a point of contact....
and lastly arianlatay your advice is appreciated sweetie but your delivery need to change.....
becasue one problem I have with aries and the reason we bump heads because when he try to get fly out the mouth it don't set well with me.....
I don't know wether you know or not virgo's can be very brash and harsh too.....
so most of the time he's ego gets hurt in the process.....
But as i said your advice is appreciated but I comprehend very well.....
the virgo mind is sharp but I like information in detail and with clarity and that I find hard to be able to undestand coming from an aries......
He is most definitely sleeping with her.....
But I do understand I can't control anyone but myself...... I just want to be clear on the advice you are giving me........
I undrstand what you say I need to do but......my question to was should I wait for him to come around to implement these things......
or should I call him ......being that I hear aries men don't like the chase after them thing.....
I was told on another board that no contact get their attention..... so I was hoping to stay distant for some time and hopefully he will call....
or any suggestion on how I get his attention......
Also the reason I mention his b-day was sunday was because I was hoping that would be an opportunity to see him....... if he came around to see his child or called to try to be open and more understanding to him.......
I figured it will be a point of contact....
and lastly arianlatay your advice is appreciated sweetie but your delivery need to change.....
becasue one problem I have with aries and the reason we bump heads because when he try to get fly out the mouth it don't set well with me.....
I don't know wether you know or not virgo's can be very brash and harsh too.....
so most of the time he's ego gets hurt in the process.....
But as i said your advice is appreciated but I comprehend very well.....
the virgo mind is sharp but I like information in detail and with clarity and that I find hard to be able to undestand coming from an aries......
"and lastly arianlatay your advice is appreciated sweetie but your delivery need to change"
To what, exactly?
.. coddling doesn't work
.. directness doesn't work
.. simplifying doesn't work
.. intellectual doesn't work
.. attempting to provoke empathy doesn't work
.. guilt-tripping doesn't work
.. honesty doesn't work
.. logic doesn't work
.. harshness doesn't work
.. reasoning doesn't work
.. sinceriety doesn't work
.. sublety doesn't work
BlueVirgo .. tell me (how) this needs to be expressed to you and I will be happy to comply.
On a daily basis, I go through this .. in September, I will have been married for 25 years and STILL I fail at getting through to my Virgo husband. I ask him the same question:
How do you need me to say (this) so that you will comprehend?
Maybe if I find a path to you, I will be able to find out how to get through to him.
How, BlueVirgo? Where is the doorway?
To what, exactly?
.. coddling doesn't work
.. directness doesn't work
.. simplifying doesn't work
.. intellectual doesn't work
.. attempting to provoke empathy doesn't work
.. guilt-tripping doesn't work
.. honesty doesn't work
.. logic doesn't work
.. harshness doesn't work
.. reasoning doesn't work
.. sinceriety doesn't work
.. sublety doesn't work
BlueVirgo .. tell me (how) this needs to be expressed to you and I will be happy to comply.
On a daily basis, I go through this .. in September, I will have been married for 25 years and STILL I fail at getting through to my Virgo husband. I ask him the same question:
How do you need me to say (this) so that you will comprehend?
Maybe if I find a path to you, I will be able to find out how to get through to him.
How, BlueVirgo? Where is the doorway?
"lv24 you mention his comments being as if he needed attention can you elaborate a little more on that......"
P-angel hit it right on the spot (below) he was searching for attention thats why the attempt to make you jealous. The night prior you were fighting about your ex...he was searching for attention because he was still broosed by the fight...he needed to feel love and acceptance....assurance...he needed to be reminded that he was the only one for you (sounds silly but true). Stroke his ego...
"When the Aries does this .. tries to make you jealous .. they are needing your undivided attention and affection to be bestowed upon them exclusively.
When you respond by trying to make him jealous back, or turning a cold-heart .. then what you are accomplishing is actually pushing him away because he will believe you don't absolutely adore him".
He was probably confused about who he wanted to be with and went home to see how things were between the two of you....then a fight came on and you said some hurtful things to him...you basically made up his mind for him. All his confusion became so clear once you attacked him with harsh thoughts of you and your ex. He wanted to hear the exact opposit...he wanted to hear, baby no you are the only one for me....
"I guess if aries decide its over then its really over then palying hard to get is senseless....."
True but I dont think its truly over. I am saying once its truly over its over! This seems temporary....dont chase him for that will only push him further away. Stay occupied....show that you can be independent and strong with out him. We love strong spirits....get a hobby, go shopping, go for a walk in the park with your child...show that you can be alone and happy. That intrigues us. Even if your not doing anything big in your life but you are always busy and have an agenda that makes us turn our heads and wonder what your doing thats so interesting that you dont have time to think about us every moment of the day. He will be back because he wants to be the center of your world but thats if he is even still interested in you. He cant stay away forever, you have a child together. He has to come back even if its for the child. Once you do get him though STROKE HIS EGO!!!!!!!! LOL! Just kidding but you get it...I hope. Make it known to him if you do take him back that going back and forth between the two of you is not an option and that mending things between the two of you is
P-angel hit it right on the spot (below) he was searching for attention thats why the attempt to make you jealous. The night prior you were fighting about your ex...he was searching for attention because he was still broosed by the fight...he needed to feel love and acceptance....assurance...he needed to be reminded that he was the only one for you (sounds silly but true). Stroke his ego...
"When the Aries does this .. tries to make you jealous .. they are needing your undivided attention and affection to be bestowed upon them exclusively.
When you respond by trying to make him jealous back, or turning a cold-heart .. then what you are accomplishing is actually pushing him away because he will believe you don't absolutely adore him".
He was probably confused about who he wanted to be with and went home to see how things were between the two of you....then a fight came on and you said some hurtful things to him...you basically made up his mind for him. All his confusion became so clear once you attacked him with harsh thoughts of you and your ex. He wanted to hear the exact opposit...he wanted to hear, baby no you are the only one for me....
"I guess if aries decide its over then its really over then palying hard to get is senseless....."
True but I dont think its truly over. I am saying once its truly over its over! This seems temporary....dont chase him for that will only push him further away. Stay occupied....show that you can be independent and strong with out him. We love strong spirits....get a hobby, go shopping, go for a walk in the park with your child...show that you can be alone and happy. That intrigues us. Even if your not doing anything big in your life but you are always busy and have an agenda that makes us turn our heads and wonder what your doing thats so interesting that you dont have time to think about us every moment of the day. He will be back because he wants to be the center of your world but thats if he is even still interested in you. He cant stay away forever, you have a child together. He has to come back even if its for the child. Once you do get him though STROKE HIS EGO!!!!!!!! LOL! Just kidding but you get it...I hope. Make it known to him if you do take him back that going back and forth between the two of you is not an option and that mending things between the two of you is
going to take some work but that you are not looking for a half fast job. Make it known that you want to be with him and only him but that you need to feel the same from him....
good luck honey.
hope some of this made sense...this may all be a repeat since i really didnt read through all the post for i dont have the patience....lol!
good luck honey.
hope some of this made sense...this may all be a repeat since i really didnt read through all the post for i dont have the patience....lol!
"It wasn't until I got frustrated to yelling that she friggin got it."
Though, I believe what you say, Arianlatay, I find that hard to believe.
When I yell at my Virgo husband .. then he responds, but, he doesn't get it, not REALLY. He just doesn't want to be yelled at. He'll avoid "whatever" it was that made me yell at him .. but, he NEVER got the point.
Atlas, everyone is different and it's unfair to say ALL Virgo's .. however, my husband doesn't hear me .. in his world there ONLY lives himself and his own needs and desires. That is, until I get angry .. he'll respond to that with avoidance of what pissed me off.
We want a person who understands us .. not living fearing our wrath, and calling it love. That's not love .. that's obediance.
Though, I believe what you say, Arianlatay, I find that hard to believe.
When I yell at my Virgo husband .. then he responds, but, he doesn't get it, not REALLY. He just doesn't want to be yelled at. He'll avoid "whatever" it was that made me yell at him .. but, he NEVER got the point.
Atlas, everyone is different and it's unfair to say ALL Virgo's .. however, my husband doesn't hear me .. in his world there ONLY lives himself and his own needs and desires. That is, until I get angry .. he'll respond to that with avoidance of what pissed me off.
We want a person who understands us .. not living fearing our wrath, and calling it love. That's not love .. that's obediance.
Geeze Ladies!!!!!
I understand the frustration here....she doesnt seem to be getting it....but do any of us really ever get it right away...
There is a broken heart envolved here, therefore not allowing her to see the big picture other than IT JUST REALLY HURTS!!!
Everyone is giving some great advice no need for yelling she has the opportunity to go back and forth and re-read all that has been missed and get a better understanding. It will all make sense in good time. The heart needs to do some mending first. Its up to you Bluevirgo to take the advice and run with it hon....clear your thoughts and figure out what you need to do before acting on anything....
REMEMBER IF IT IS MEANT TO BE IT WILL BE!
I understand the frustration here....she doesnt seem to be getting it....but do any of us really ever get it right away...
There is a broken heart envolved here, therefore not allowing her to see the big picture other than IT JUST REALLY HURTS!!!
Everyone is giving some great advice no need for yelling she has the opportunity to go back and forth and re-read all that has been missed and get a better understanding. It will all make sense in good time. The heart needs to do some mending first. Its up to you Bluevirgo to take the advice and run with it hon....clear your thoughts and figure out what you need to do before acting on anything....
REMEMBER IF IT IS MEANT TO BE IT WILL BE!
"Yeppers my grandmother had to get to the point of hanging up on my cousin and telling her "well since you know and rational everything why the hell did you call me for advice'?"
lol, pp .. granny was great, though, ya?
lol, pp .. granny was great, though, ya?
OMG .. I want to marry her in my next life.
< hates sugar-coating .. point your gun and shoot
< hates sugar-coating .. point your gun and shoot
"I undrstand what you say I need to do but......my question to was should I wait for him to come around to implement these things......" -- WAIT FOR HIM TO CONTACT YOU!
"or should I call him ......being that I hear aries men don't like the chase after them thing....." ---DONT CHASE HIM HE WILL DO THE CHASING IF HE FEELS ITS WORTH IT!!!!
"I was told on another board that no contact get their attention..... so I was hoping to stay distant for some time and hopefully he will call...."----ONCE HE FEELS HE HAS LOST THE BATTLE HE WILL ATTEMPT TO GET YOU BACK BUT ITS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT HIM BACK.
"or any suggestion on how I get his attention......"---JUST WAIT FOR HIM TO CONTACT YOU BUT AGAIN REMEMBER YOU MOPING WILL ONLY BE A TURN OFF FOR HIM SHOW YOUR STRENGTH AFTER ALL THATS WHO HE FELL FOR IN THE BEGINING RIGHT? YOUR STRONG CHARACTER...
"He is most definitely sleeping with her....." YES HE IS!!! HE SURE IS! I WOULD BET MONEY ON IT IN FACT!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? CAN YOU GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM KNOWING HE HAS BEEN INTIMATE WITH HER? WILL YOU JUST BE CONSTANTLY THROWING IT IN HIS FACE BECAUSE IF YOU ARE THEN ITS NOT WORTH IT BECAUSE YOU WILL JUST CHASE HIM AWAY AGAIN. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH NOT BEING OK WITH IT...I WOULDNT BE! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS ALREADY DAMAGED AND ITS GOING TO BE TUFF TO MAKE IT WORK. ONCE THE RESPECT IS GONE ITS HARD TO MAKE IT WORK. DOESNT SEEM HEALTHY FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. I KNOW YOU WANT HIM BUT THERE ARE PLENTY MEN OUT THERE THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOU NEED A FRESH HEALTHY START. I CAN IMAGINE IF YOU DO GET HIM BACK YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WALKING ON EGG SHELLS. THATS NOT GOOD! ITS UP TO YOU ON WHAT YOUR WILLING TO ACCEPT.
WHATS YOUR SELF WORTH?
"or should I call him ......being that I hear aries men don't like the chase after them thing....." ---DONT CHASE HIM HE WILL DO THE CHASING IF HE FEELS ITS WORTH IT!!!!
"I was told on another board that no contact get their attention..... so I was hoping to stay distant for some time and hopefully he will call...."----ONCE HE FEELS HE HAS LOST THE BATTLE HE WILL ATTEMPT TO GET YOU BACK BUT ITS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT HIM BACK.
"or any suggestion on how I get his attention......"---JUST WAIT FOR HIM TO CONTACT YOU BUT AGAIN REMEMBER YOU MOPING WILL ONLY BE A TURN OFF FOR HIM SHOW YOUR STRENGTH AFTER ALL THATS WHO HE FELL FOR IN THE BEGINING RIGHT? YOUR STRONG CHARACTER...
"He is most definitely sleeping with her....." YES HE IS!!! HE SURE IS! I WOULD BET MONEY ON IT IN FACT!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? CAN YOU GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM KNOWING HE HAS BEEN INTIMATE WITH HER? WILL YOU JUST BE CONSTANTLY THROWING IT IN HIS FACE BECAUSE IF YOU ARE THEN ITS NOT WORTH IT BECAUSE YOU WILL JUST CHASE HIM AWAY AGAIN. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH NOT BEING OK WITH IT...I WOULDNT BE! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS ALREADY DAMAGED AND ITS GOING TO BE TUFF TO MAKE IT WORK. ONCE THE RESPECT IS GONE ITS HARD TO MAKE IT WORK. DOESNT SEEM HEALTHY FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. I KNOW YOU WANT HIM BUT THERE ARE PLENTY MEN OUT THERE THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOU NEED A FRESH HEALTHY START. I CAN IMAGINE IF YOU DO GET HIM BACK YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WALKING ON EGG SHELLS. THATS NOT GOOD! ITS UP TO YOU ON WHAT YOUR WILLING TO ACCEPT.
WHATS YOUR SELF WORTH?
"He is most definitely sleeping with her....." YES HE IS!!! HE SURE IS! I WOULD BET MONEY ON IT IN FACT!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? CAN YOU GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM KNOWING HE HAS BEEN INTIMATE WITH HER? WILL YOU JUST BE CONSTANTLY THROWING IT IN HIS FACE BECAUSE IF YOU ARE THEN ITS NOT WORTH IT BECAUSE YOU WILL JUST CHASE HIM AWAY AGAIN.
Message posted by: BlueVirgo on 11/17/2006 3:33:39 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.5
hi,
I have been following your threads and input with Aries men.......I see you have a lot of experience in dealing with them......I'm dating a aries man and I am having a very hard time understanding them......It seems that one thing they have in common is when you meet them they usually have a girlfriend.....I met my aries friend about 3 1/2 years ago we dated on and off.....he wanted out of his relationship with her but she was pregnant and he kept saying I didnt understand.....from that point we continued to see each other as friends and things progressed.....sex was the bomb and we spent alot of time together....he evetually told me he love ......we eventually was confronted by her and he chose me and left her...I was always unsure about him going back to her because of the baby....so we broke up went out seperate ways for about 6 months and got together again off and on.....but he still was with her.....not to long ago they broke up and he came back chasing me like crazy.....saying he was through with her and he and now he knew what he wanted...... I played hard to get and eventually gave in and he ask me to be in his life again.....I accept and ended up pregnant......In the heat of all this I get so angry with him due to a child would be brought into this chaos of a relationship we have.......I began to be mean and say hurtful things and completely stop having sex with him and he eventually gets mad and leave.....
Message posted by: BlueVirgo on 11/17/2006 3:33:39 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.5
hi,
I have been following your threads and input with Aries men.......I see you have a lot of experience in dealing with them......I'm dating a aries man and I am having a very hard time understanding them......It seems that one thing they have in common is when you meet them they usually have a girlfriend.....I met my aries friend about 3 1/2 years ago we dated on and off.....he wanted out of his relationship with her but she was pregnant and he kept saying I didnt understand.....from that point we continued to see each other as friends and things progressed.....sex was the bomb and we spent alot of time together....he evetually told me he love ......we eventually was confronted by her and he chose me and left her...I was always unsure about him going back to her because of the baby....so we broke up went out seperate ways for about 6 months and got together again off and on.....but he still was with her.....not to long ago they broke up and he came back chasing me like crazy.....saying he was through with her and he and now he knew what he wanted...... I played hard to get and eventually gave in and he ask me to be in his life again.....I accept and ended up pregnant......In the heat of all this I get so angry with him due to a child would be brought into this chaos of a relationship we have.......I began to be mean and say hurtful things and completely stop having sex with him and he eventually gets mad and leave.....
lv24 .. it doesn't matter .. him sleeping with the ex .. for he did so from the very beginning of their relationship .. that isn't the problem.
The problem is that there isn't any awareness.
The problem is that there isn't any awareness.
Message posted by: BlueVirgo on 1/8/2007 8:04:55 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.5
Okay as I have posted previously I am pregnant and have been dealing with an aries on and off for three and half years....
.. He tells me he has mad love for me and how I make him feel less than a man at times from my actions...... I guess due to me be being very independent....
I never meant to make him feel this way and told him I never knew he felt this way and everytime I would try to express or give my opinion about how he is or the way things are between us he goes in to this kid fit yelling I'm not listening(saying this repeatedly until I get quiet and listen to him)....."
There's no awareness .. it's NOT being very independent that makes him feel less than a man (because does it sound like an indepent person, or an emotional DEPENDANT one) .. what he is saying in Jan and likely the whole time .. she's NOT listening.
When he tries to tell her that he she doesn't make him feel like a man, this is her response, "I would try to express or give my opinion about how he is or the way things are between us"
BlueVirgo .. the solution isn't to wait for him, nor try to contact him .. the solution to your problem is to become aware that YOU aren't the only person in this scenerio.
Okay as I have posted previously I am pregnant and have been dealing with an aries on and off for three and half years....
.. He tells me he has mad love for me and how I make him feel less than a man at times from my actions...... I guess due to me be being very independent....
I never meant to make him feel this way and told him I never knew he felt this way and everytime I would try to express or give my opinion about how he is or the way things are between us he goes in to this kid fit yelling I'm not listening(saying this repeatedly until I get quiet and listen to him)....."
There's no awareness .. it's NOT being very independent that makes him feel less than a man (because does it sound like an indepent person, or an emotional DEPENDANT one) .. what he is saying in Jan and likely the whole time .. she's NOT listening.
When he tries to tell her that he she doesn't make him feel like a man, this is her response, "I would try to express or give my opinion about how he is or the way things are between us"
BlueVirgo .. the solution isn't to wait for him, nor try to contact him .. the solution to your problem is to become aware that YOU aren't the only person in this scenerio.
This so frustrating because I understand that she loves the guy!!!!
Where is the love for herself—?
Why would you allow someone to sleep with another when you are in a commited relationship? I understand she is not condoning it but she is allowing it by allowing him to come back. I have done it...I am not perfect but once shame on you, twice shame on me...people make mistakes but the same mistake made over and over is not acceptable...we are grown individuals and we know right from wrong...he is not learning from his mistakes the only thing he is learning is that he can make as many as he wants and these two women will take him back. He is spoiled by there lack or self worth...
does that make any sense—?
HELLO BLUEVIRGO!!! AGAIN WHERE IS YOUR SELF WORTH—
Where is the love for herself—?
Why would you allow someone to sleep with another when you are in a commited relationship? I understand she is not condoning it but she is allowing it by allowing him to come back. I have done it...I am not perfect but once shame on you, twice shame on me...people make mistakes but the same mistake made over and over is not acceptable...we are grown individuals and we know right from wrong...he is not learning from his mistakes the only thing he is learning is that he can make as many as he wants and these two women will take him back. He is spoiled by there lack or self worth...
does that make any sense—?
HELLO BLUEVIRGO!!! AGAIN WHERE IS YOUR SELF WORTH—
The man isn't worth it .. if he sleeps with other women .. he's a tosser.
But, you can't see that, there's no awareness of respect for yourself ..
He's a tosser, BlueVirgo .. and he likely thinks the same about you because there is no respect between you .. "sex was the bomb and we spent alot of time together....he evetually told me he love ......we eventually was confronted by her and he chose me and left her...I was always unsure about him going back to her because of the baby....so we broke up went out seperate ways for about 6 months and got together again off and on.....but he still was with her"
Sorry to be so cold .. but, the truth is in black and white .. he had another woman pregnant, you chose to sleep with him anyway and he has continued to sleep with her through this relationship ..
.. Where is your self worth?
You don't comprehend that you're suppose to have any, in order for him to respect you, do you?
But, you can't see that, there's no awareness of respect for yourself ..
He's a tosser, BlueVirgo .. and he likely thinks the same about you because there is no respect between you .. "sex was the bomb and we spent alot of time together....he evetually told me he love ......we eventually was confronted by her and he chose me and left her...I was always unsure about him going back to her because of the baby....so we broke up went out seperate ways for about 6 months and got together again off and on.....but he still was with her"
Sorry to be so cold .. but, the truth is in black and white .. he had another woman pregnant, you chose to sleep with him anyway and he has continued to sleep with her through this relationship ..
.. Where is your self worth?
You don't comprehend that you're suppose to have any, in order for him to respect you, do you?
I understand the big picture, I also understand that there is more here than just the fact that he is back with the ex. What I dont understand is why she would even care about the big picture considering the fact that he might be intimate with the ex. I wouldnt be able to handle that! Once maybe (mistake) but over and over again. I cant see the big picture because for some reason this vision of someone I am envolved with sleeping with someone else is just unbearable to imagine. Just dont get it!
That's an excellent idea, Arianlatay .. sometimes, things get so jumbled up in our heads that it's all mixing together and you can't make heads or tails out of it.
BlueVirgo .. do this, I think it will help tremendously. Especially since you keep saying that you are getting mixed insights from people in here, and you are confused about what he is saying vs. what he is doing. This should help you to be able to sort everything out and see it for "what" it is, rather than how you "feel" about it.
This man has two children and both of these kids deserve to have BOTH their parents in their life .. a way HAS to be found where the two of you can be in the same room together without losing composure, so your child will grow up with a healthy sense of respect and love.
I know it sounds like you've been bombarded here and that wasn't our intent .. we are three different people responding and each one of us are going through this with you, we are females, too, so naturally, we are emotionally driven .. at one point, we will sound angry, frustrated, annoyed .. the next, we will sound softer, more compassionate. It's just us working through the different emotions as a new light goes off in our heads. We're truly here because we want to help you to figure out how to get through this .. our style s and approaches are different and WILL vary according to how something strikes us .. but, we're not AGAINST you in any way.
This is difficult, you are struggling .. and we're trying every angle we can to help you find the way 🙂
BlueVirgo .. do this, I think it will help tremendously. Especially since you keep saying that you are getting mixed insights from people in here, and you are confused about what he is saying vs. what he is doing. This should help you to be able to sort everything out and see it for "what" it is, rather than how you "feel" about it.
This man has two children and both of these kids deserve to have BOTH their parents in their life .. a way HAS to be found where the two of you can be in the same room together without losing composure, so your child will grow up with a healthy sense of respect and love.
I know it sounds like you've been bombarded here and that wasn't our intent .. we are three different people responding and each one of us are going through this with you, we are females, too, so naturally, we are emotionally driven .. at one point, we will sound angry, frustrated, annoyed .. the next, we will sound softer, more compassionate. It's just us working through the different emotions as a new light goes off in our heads. We're truly here because we want to help you to figure out how to get through this .. our style s and approaches are different and WILL vary according to how something strikes us .. but, we're not AGAINST you in any way.
This is difficult, you are struggling .. and we're trying every angle we can to help you find the way 🙂
Been there, done that Arianlatay. Once said and done you become such a stronger person and know what you can handle and what you are willing to deal with in your next relationship. Hang in there Bluevirgo!!!
WoW.....Is all I have to say.......
I get it but just can't help to focus on the details.....
I'm a virgo for christ sake and sometime we may not see the forest for the trees...
I will have to go back over evryones reply a couple of times.....
before I can really respond to what everyone said......
I can appreciate what you all have said and your opinion....
My aries baby daddy haven't made contact yet.....
But I found somethig strange that happen today,.......
His mother called to see how the baby and I were.....
She also called the day after he left and ask for him and when I told her he left and were he said he was going.....she appeared really surprised.....
She asked had I heard from him and replied she had a long talk with him the night before....
I told her how much I love him but couldn't deal with the back and forth....
she offered to keep the child because we argue about that aslo before he left.... about a sitter that is.....not his mom.....
then his mom said she will call and talk to him again....
I just don't know why she feels the need to do so......
but I never said anything against it......
she acts as if she wants to see us together I guess......
I didn't know aries and moms was so close to the point they talk to them about their relationships.....
so ladies I want to remain his friend if nothing else for our child sake.....
I just wish this pain would go away and that I didn't miss him so much.....
Its like the song by heather hendley(I wish I wasn't in love with you so you couldn't hurt)....
I get it but just can't help to focus on the details.....
I'm a virgo for christ sake and sometime we may not see the forest for the trees...
I will have to go back over evryones reply a couple of times.....
before I can really respond to what everyone said......
I can appreciate what you all have said and your opinion....
My aries baby daddy haven't made contact yet.....
But I found somethig strange that happen today,.......
His mother called to see how the baby and I were.....
She also called the day after he left and ask for him and when I told her he left and were he said he was going.....she appeared really surprised.....
She asked had I heard from him and replied she had a long talk with him the night before....
I told her how much I love him but couldn't deal with the back and forth....
she offered to keep the child because we argue about that aslo before he left.... about a sitter that is.....not his mom.....
then his mom said she will call and talk to him again....
I just don't know why she feels the need to do so......
but I never said anything against it......
she acts as if she wants to see us together I guess......
I didn't know aries and moms was so close to the point they talk to them about their relationships.....
so ladies I want to remain his friend if nothing else for our child sake.....
I just wish this pain would go away and that I didn't miss him so much.....
Its like the song by heather hendley(I wish I wasn't in love with you so you couldn't hurt)....
This is an interesting turn of events.
The mother had a long talk with this Aries man. Did she tell you anything? Other than offereing to babysit for you? This could be taken two ways, such as:
1. Was her hinting that the two of you being together is HER desire, or,
2. Did this hint actually come from something HE said to her about his desires.
Perhaps, her intervention might prove fruitful for at least getting some insight into how he feels, as it's projected onto his mother. Often times, we want to say what we are feeling, but, it turns into a battle instead. This way, he is pouring his feelings out to his mother, where there isn't any worry of a storm that might ensue.
I think this is good news, BlueVirgo .. the aid of one of HIS family members has to clearly be a sign that there is still hope. You know, families are loyal to each other and if the mother is showing you signs of compassion, rather than standing her ground firmly on her son's side .. then he must have said something to her to make her think that you have been put in some kind of distress by him.
Hang in there .. hopefully she'll call you again with some more insight into his position on where he is standing within your relationship with him.
In the meantime .. get out of the house. Go take your baby to his mother to sit for awhile and go do something that makes you happy .. go shopping, or take in a movie. Do something to pick your spirits back up.
You can do this .. don't give up
When you need to talk, we'll still be here for you. 🙂
The mother had a long talk with this Aries man. Did she tell you anything? Other than offereing to babysit for you? This could be taken two ways, such as:
1. Was her hinting that the two of you being together is HER desire, or,
2. Did this hint actually come from something HE said to her about his desires.
Perhaps, her intervention might prove fruitful for at least getting some insight into how he feels, as it's projected onto his mother. Often times, we want to say what we are feeling, but, it turns into a battle instead. This way, he is pouring his feelings out to his mother, where there isn't any worry of a storm that might ensue.
I think this is good news, BlueVirgo .. the aid of one of HIS family members has to clearly be a sign that there is still hope. You know, families are loyal to each other and if the mother is showing you signs of compassion, rather than standing her ground firmly on her son's side .. then he must have said something to her to make her think that you have been put in some kind of distress by him.
Hang in there .. hopefully she'll call you again with some more insight into his position on where he is standing within your relationship with him.
In the meantime .. get out of the house. Go take your baby to his mother to sit for awhile and go do something that makes you happy .. go shopping, or take in a movie. Do something to pick your spirits back up.
You can do this .. don't give up
When you need to talk, we'll still be here for you. 🙂
Hey ladies.......
His mom sign is leo
I feel better today its a beautiful day and I'm going to try to get to enjoy it.....
Yeah the mom seems to have a interest in him calling me and him leaving me.....
I don't know if she really prefers me or not she hasn't talked against the other women with his child to me.....
I don't know....I wonder what his conversation was like.....It made me feel as if he don't want to deal with me any longer and had her to call to see if we were okay....
she did said she spoke with and acted as if he said he was going to call but he never did.... due to her asking have you heard from him yet.....
anyway I'm glad you all can see the love he has for me because I can't at this time....
my freinds also say they can see he loves me....... but why can't I......
I was happy she volunteered to babysit and she told me If I need anything call her.....
she also said she was going to call him again and that if he called do not mentioned we spoke....
she just won't tell me wether he says he loves me still or how he says he feels.....
she keeps it kind of vague.....
I did make sure to tell her that I was in live with him...
I appreciate all the support you guys are given.....
His mom sign is leo
I feel better today its a beautiful day and I'm going to try to get to enjoy it.....
Yeah the mom seems to have a interest in him calling me and him leaving me.....
I don't know if she really prefers me or not she hasn't talked against the other women with his child to me.....
I don't know....I wonder what his conversation was like.....It made me feel as if he don't want to deal with me any longer and had her to call to see if we were okay....
she did said she spoke with and acted as if he said he was going to call but he never did.... due to her asking have you heard from him yet.....
anyway I'm glad you all can see the love he has for me because I can't at this time....
my freinds also say they can see he loves me....... but why can't I......
I was happy she volunteered to babysit and she told me If I need anything call her.....
she also said she was going to call him again and that if he called do not mentioned we spoke....
she just won't tell me wether he says he loves me still or how he says he feels.....
she keeps it kind of vague.....
I did make sure to tell her that I was in live with him...
I appreciate all the support you guys are given.....
well.....he's back and confessing his love.......
And saying the things he said was out of anger due to the hurt of me talking to my ex....
I think Lv24 was the one who said that aries can be vengeful.....
Anyway my ex propose to me and gave me a ring and said he wanted to get back together and spend our lives together.....
So I see why he was calling in the first place wasn't to be just friends....so mr aries had a right in a sense to be mad about my talking to hi
I'm not in good a place in my life right now to be able to accept his proposal.....but he insisted I take the ring and think about before i give a final offer....
I accept the ring.....but after feel like I shouldn't have....
Mr aries calls and come back to see our child and sees the ring and wants to talk suddenly.....
He suddenly wants to confess feeling of hurt and love between the two of us...
I love him to death and want to share my life with him.....I do still care for my ex....
but can't seem to let mr aries go.....
Know I have allowed him back in.........Not really sure if he should be here again....
afraid he will leave again.....because I'm afraid he's torn between me and the other women who has his child...
He came back saying I'm who he loves and want to be with......and he don't want to lose me....
But It felt different when he came back.....it seems we always seem to go to another level and open up more to one another........
he's being such a fun and lovin daddy........
and so sexy,cuddly,warm,erotic and loving man to mommy......LOL
the sex is awsome its like every time we fight and make up its more intense everytime....
but a part of me still feel afraid that he will leave again.....thinking he's torn between the two of us......
I heard that aries men take their responsibilities really serious......Are aries men into leading women on...... I've heard that you can't help but to tell the truth regardless...
I can't help but to wonder if he is back being truthful this time......I left him alone to give him time to think and after we talked it seem he wanted to come right
He came running when he thought he was going to lose me......
confessing he love me and don't want me to lose me...
because he thought I would move on with the ex i had been talking to......
It scares me when they seem so loving one day and seem a little less interested the next.....
I've been trying to be more attentive and ego stroking but.....
He
And saying the things he said was out of anger due to the hurt of me talking to my ex....
I think Lv24 was the one who said that aries can be vengeful.....
Anyway my ex propose to me and gave me a ring and said he wanted to get back together and spend our lives together.....
So I see why he was calling in the first place wasn't to be just friends....so mr aries had a right in a sense to be mad about my talking to hi
I'm not in good a place in my life right now to be able to accept his proposal.....but he insisted I take the ring and think about before i give a final offer....
I accept the ring.....but after feel like I shouldn't have....
Mr aries calls and come back to see our child and sees the ring and wants to talk suddenly.....
He suddenly wants to confess feeling of hurt and love between the two of us...
I love him to death and want to share my life with him.....I do still care for my ex....
but can't seem to let mr aries go.....
Know I have allowed him back in.........Not really sure if he should be here again....
afraid he will leave again.....because I'm afraid he's torn between me and the other women who has his child...
He came back saying I'm who he loves and want to be with......and he don't want to lose me....
But It felt different when he came back.....it seems we always seem to go to another level and open up more to one another........
he's being such a fun and lovin daddy........
and so sexy,cuddly,warm,erotic and loving man to mommy......LOL
the sex is awsome its like every time we fight and make up its more intense everytime....
but a part of me still feel afraid that he will leave again.....thinking he's torn between the two of us......
I heard that aries men take their responsibilities really serious......Are aries men into leading women on...... I've heard that you can't help but to tell the truth regardless...
I can't help but to wonder if he is back being truthful this time......I left him alone to give him time to think and after we talked it seem he wanted to come right
He came running when he thought he was going to lose me......
confessing he love me and don't want me to lose me...
because he thought I would move on with the ex i had been talking to......
It scares me when they seem so loving one day and seem a little less interested the next.....
I've been trying to be more attentive and ego stroking but.....
He
maybe i'm being paranoid....but he's been calling all day every day from work..... he calls and says his other child's mother calls and I get upset and tell him why is he telling me this....
he says to be ohonest with me and he should be able to talk to me about anything..... but i feel the coldness is coming from whatever their conversation was....
he says to be ohonest with me and he should be able to talk to me about anything..... but i feel the coldness is coming from whatever their conversation was....
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It hurts so much.....things were great......He seem confused about were he wants to be.....
He has a child by another women and he told me he was going back to her....
After him and I had a fight about a ex calling and her taking out child support due to him having a new child with me...... Mind you this all happen the day before he had to appear in court with her....or maybe I'm analyzing to much...
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no calls.....not even to check on your kid......
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