A Fucka Roast (Sun, Moon, Asc)

Earlier somebody wrote in a thread that Taurus Sun, Cap Moon, Virgo rising belongs with crab women.

While completely irrelevant to de title, I fuckin realized how fuckin bored to tears I would be around that guy. How many awkward situations he would make out of nothing and complain to me bout it. I can attempt or to care, but something about this guy makes you wanna do the ugliest look when he talks to you. Like can't you see in my freakin face that I really don't give a shit about this feminine freak out?. A real fuckin asshole, too.. That guy would be. I'm confident the Taurus Sun, Cap Moon, Virgo rising person, was the kid that would play a game and change the rules everytime they lose. or try to switch controllers thinking yours is the better one. Just a guy you'd mosdef have to punch in the face someday.

Then I got to thinkin bout a fucka Pisces, Scorpio Moon, Leo rising. Dis the definite don't say "dem bitches" around guy. He would think you talking about his fuckin little sisters and he just said out his mouth "I'm trynna eat these pickles before these kids get to it" .. And all you said was "you better hurry up and eat them hoes". I ain't never heard no shit like that either, but that's yo guy. He'd wear a blue tooth at like fuckin 17 LMAO.. Drive recklessly in a car he swears is not his mom's. What a fuckin asshole.. Prolly make a great gym partner though.. This dude would always play a hero and tell you, you breaking the law or you did something immoral. Probably be a huge Asian culture fan and think he's fuckin Goku or something.. Maybe that's why he likes to try and save the world, I don't fuckin know ahaaa! Man... I think a guy with this combo would fuckin bite, he would be so emotionally annoying and constantly in his feelings, cancelling club night mope watch an anime then hit you with that "let's fuckin go broo!" text 2 hours later. Mothafuckerr?? Foh, aight let's go. You'd probably wanna smack da shit out him though.. Not punch like, like our other forgettable guy.. You'd wanna pimp smack him for accidentally talking to you like a child for the 5th time.. Telling you "what you need to do as an adult" and shit, just cuz he's driving a little ass Versa and got a Amazon gig and part-time solidier or some shit lmaoo.. Probably owe ya money, head ass. Fuck this guy.

Saggitarius Moon and rising female-

It don't even matter her fuckin Sun sign.. This bitch is an absolute "gotta be there" girl. She's always "there".. Ya know. She's always at a party, gathering, concert, event, kickback, fe-fe.. You tell it, she gonna try and make it. Like maybe not even to party, probably just sit and smile at everyone.. ACTUALLY, I'd think she'd be freakin gorgeous.. You'd think she'd be a talker, but nah.. She def don't do small talk, but this bitch got "good luck", my ass. Some shit might always go down with this heffa.. Just out here trynna get her coochie ate got her caught in the mix. Somethings, you wanna grab her by her big boobed shirt and tell she don't have to go and do that.. That it's fuckin lame or a set up.. She might have phoney ass friends.. And know it, but still hangs around for the experience. She'd probably be a "nist" of some kind and talk about shit that ain't really effecting her or fake "hate" on the male attention till it sounds braggish. She might yell..........

Oooo don't get me started..

Drop Sun, Moon, Asc below.. I'll roast da shit out them. If you wanna finish roast Sag combo female, just ask.

Posted by GC02
Cancer sun Taurus moon Taurus Asc

Give it to me!

Posted by GC02
Cancer sun Taurus moon Taurus Asc

Give it to me!

click to expand

Fuck.. If it's for a female, she's probably dumbbb as fuckk... Smack this bitch upside da head for her own sake. She probably got identity issues.. Or worse, a Christian. Super dramatic.. You get tired of her QUICK... Fuck.. Nothing is ever her fault. Never wants to back down.. A damn cry baby, fasho. Might steal or cheat you out of your shit, you gonna have to shoot this heffa. Borrow shit and never returns the shit. Got either hella fancy shit or hella cheap shit she thinks that's fancy.. Clothes, furniture, nic nacs, etc. When she gets mad, she takes on the persona of somebody she saw on TV.. PFTTTFHahahaha!!!

Anyone getting any of this?

Me: Scorp ascendant, Aquarius sun, Cancer moon

roast me Emhendo 🙂

Posted by Pandora101
Me: Scorp ascendant, Aquarius sun, Cancer moon

roast me Emhendo 🙂

Yo ass is a drama queen, I don't give a fuck if you happen to be a man. Don't nobody care what happen to you when you was a fuckin kid and you don't either, but you use it as some excuse to do the fuckin most. You call the police on your mother before she calls the police first, and you tell them "I've had it UP TO MY ASSSSHOLE". You insult your mom and then act like it never happened. You ain't logical, you just think you are and other people do because you use silence as a response when we hanging out.. That's if I even find the nerve to hang out with you again.. You just think this some nice mf and shit gets dark within weeks between y'all with a fucker with this combo. Fuck det shit. Might streak in public too.. Showing them flat ass dicks and titties

Don't nobody wanna see det shit Cancer Moon people. Stop flashin.

Posted by Emhendo
Saggitarius Moon and rising female-

It don't even matter her fuckin Sun sign.. This bitch is an absolute "gotta be there" girl. She's always "there".. Ya know. She's always at a party, gathering, concert, event, kickback, fe-fe.. You tell it, she gonna try and make it. Like maybe not even to party, probably just sit and smile at everyone.. ACTUALLY, I'd think she'd be freakin gorgeous.. You'd think she'd be a talker, but nah.. She def don't do small talk, but this bitch got "good luck", my ass. Some shit might always go down with this heffa.. Just out here trynna get her coochie ate got her caught in the mix. Somethings, you wanna grab her by her big boobed shirt and tell she don't have to go and do that.. That it's fuckin lame or a set up.. She might have phoney ass friends.. And know it, but still hangs around for the experience. She'd probably be a "nist" of some kind and talk about shit that ain't really effecting her or fake "hate" on the male attention till it sounds braggish. She might yell..........

Oooo don't get me started..

Bolded the correct parts 😛

Posted by HearttofTopaz
Scorpio sun & moon, Sag rising

Don't nobody wanna go rock climbing with yo bitch ass. You never struggled in your life but as soon as a bitch breaks your heart, you swear life is not worth it. You go in a 24 hour Baskin Robbins at like 3 in morning, offer all the homeless folks a donut them start bitching about world piece and crying. You talk I'm this draggy slurry ass tone.. It's like bruh.. If you gonna have this episode, at least tighten up your speech cuz I'm bout to knock you the fuck out.. You sound whiney. It's really just an act though, the kind gesture, but the tears are fuckin genuine. Yeah, you'd be glad when this guy fuckin leaves,.. He's really just that Co worker you casually do drugs with.. or bitch about work to.. This one nasally ass dude.. Need a fuckin tissue and I don't mean for tears but a damn runny nose. Mucus machine

Posted by HearttofTopaz
Gem sun, aqua moon, Aries rising

This bitch goes and buys tostitos salsa and her local grocery sells real hand chopped salsa, you tell her about it and she's like "nahhh" .. And you're like "bitch?!" Thinking to yourself like damn she could at least said she'll stop by.. But I guess she kept it real.. heffa

Posted by NotInterested
Pisces Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising

Whatchya got 🤡

Holy shit. Do you even know how to smile? You never learned. Everybody think you got Aspbergers and shit, then jet from the fuck around you cuz I wouldn't pretend to have a conversation with your ass either.. I'm positive you molested your OLDER cousin.. You probably look funny as shit when you cry, which you don't do often.. Cuz you already have a funny ass head shape. You almost like you resisting the tears with all your eye-lids strength when you get emotional. Nobody wants to see you get punched cuz we'll just straight feel bad for you.. But surprisingly, you can take a punch. Then we all have more respect for ya, then ya let it go to your head.. A motherfucka knocked you out again, and this to time we didn't feel bad.

Posted by Ravishing
Gem Sun, Sag Moon, Scorpio Rising 😈

I know.. I'm a messy bitch who lives for dram-uh

Somebody "tame" this thing before you find out this motherfucka was in a shoot-out recently. This the person that tries it all, might have tolerance for all types of sex with their most desired partner. Man, I wouldn't drink off your fuckin ass.. Or even bum a square.. For I catch a fuckin herpe or grow another head on my lip.. A penis head. Goddamn, you spit when you fuckin talk and that shit landed on my forehead...You need to goddamn apologize. Why you always running behind your lame ass friends. They are no effin good.. You claimin shit you ain't got nothing to do with

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Cool idea for a thread!

Cancer sun, Taurus moon, Aries rising.

I'm so tired of this combo, but this Aries rising bout to catch this fade. No one gives a fuck when you are upset, no one cares to get as wrapped up in a game at the bowling alley as you. Damn, it's just Uno. Why don't you have no rhythm when you dance anyway? I'ma need you to get to the fuckin point when you tell story.. That's why no one wants to go anywhere with you cuz you think you have say-so when it's time to go home. You can leave.

You really dragged me with that sag moon

Hurt me.

Pisces sun, Aries Moon, cap rising.

AND I have sag rising smh SNATCHED MY EDGES

Posted by LadyNeptune
Hurt me.

Pisces sun, Aries Moon, cap rising.

Nobody can trust you to buy ya own dress.. It'll be so fugly. This chick think she keep a low profile, but we all know your fuckin business. I'ma need you to chill with the skipping the foreplay.. I actually like to take my time, thank you. It's the only way you can actually get turned, cuz she pouncing on ya broke your thighs 2 months ago. When this woman walks into a room.. .... Remember that she plays with her boyfriend's butt PFFFThhaaha.. Everytime she dates, she met em at work

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by LadyNeptune
Hurt me.

Pisces sun, Aries Moon, cap rising.

Nobody can trust you to buy ya own dress.. It'll be so fugly. This chick think she keep a low profile, but we all know your fuckin business. I'ma need you to chill with the skipping the foreplay.. I actually like to take my time, thank you. It's the only way you can actually get turned, cuz she pouncing on ya broke your thighs 2 months ago. When this woman walks into a room.. .... Remember that she plays with her boyfriend's butt PFFFThhaaha.. Everytime she dates, she met em at work

click to expand

Lol only the butt play is actually kinda accurate.

[URL=http://imgur.com/s7DMNMK]http://i.imgur.com/s7DMNMK.jpg[/URL]

Posted by sierra_
this looks fun

virgo sun-pisces moon-virgo rising

This mothafucker got a picture photoshopped of him and Stevie Wonder. Swears he knows a few movie directors in California, then tells you how he watched Will Smith son grow up.. He swears he can change your life and that he see's something special in you. I wanna punch this fuckin guy because I offered him whiskey and he fuckin put ice in his drink.. Fuck this guy

Posted by subscribe
Taurus sun Libra moon Virgo rising

Yo ass will lie right to somebody face just to keep the peace.. You think you know wtf you talking about when you speak, we all BEEN stopped believing in you.. You got secrets you ain't hide well.. So just come clean already. Yo cook every other hour and ten wonder why da gas bill was off the chain this month.. Don't nobody want one of those big ass hams you got on sale last week.. Why tf you get so many?

Posted by xyinsaturn
Gem sun

Aqua moon

Cancer asc

Ain't nobody leaving you out, just wait ya Fucka turn. This the same motherfucker that can't cook for shit or even knows what good food is.. Like, bruh.. Get this Panera bread the fuck off my table. You go to the gym and it's virtually like your ass got fatter. You are gaining weight.. Then it dawns on me that you stopped going to the gym like 2 years ago and you just been wearing your gums clothes still.. You probably named your orange saturn SUV Carlito or something

Posted by OCJack
Earlier I read a topic someone made about stupid bullshit. I fuckin realized not a single person in the entire world gave a single fuck.

Agh ... get yo ass on somewhere. What the fuck ever.. yadda yadda

Posted by TheTinMan

Posted by NotInterested

Posted by TheTinMan
Lol what's this you guys trying to get yourselves roasted?

Lol I guess we like to feel hurt

Big OCJACK is the man to turn to if ya wanna get roasted blacker than burnt turkey.

click to expand

Sounds like a challenge I'm willin to accept

Posted by Earthgoddess
Me🤗

Virgo

Cancer

Leo

You one insecure bitch.. No, you can't sing so I'ma need you to pick another goal.. You wanna be put in your place so bad.. Just someone to listen to.. You lost your virginity to the first stankin ass boy that showed you some attention. At school.. Or maybe he was older and it was in his car.. Nothing special about you, you just got nice curves and a decent personality. You always freakin out though and you ain't even cute enough for me to really give a fuck..

Posted by Ikyfl
Me 🙋🏽‍♀️

Aries Libra Leo

You fuckin suck. Period. You're not innocent.. You have a dumb face. You could leave a party and no one cares to ask where the hell you went off to..

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Cancer

Leo

Scorpio or virgo rising

Yo ass needa stop taking raunchy photos.. Nobody cares how horny you are, stop blamin it on da alcohol.. You post creepy shit, thinking it's fuckin flirtly.. And it's like nah, you just molested my thoughts.. You might make good money but don't nobody care to cook for you, so you can save the extra special instructions when you explain what you want.. You can't have it your way, ain't nobody was named Burger King.. This mothafucker talk shit only in front of the company of people they know would have their back.. But you better watch that shit, cuz you can't even back it up. You probably deserve the occasional confrontations and knock outs.. Fuck you

Posted by DeleterNerd
Gem sun

Sag moon

Leo asc

You think you're sogood fuckin creative and original.. Just because you listen to.yiur mother's music and wrote all over a denim jacket your little sister didn't want anymore.. You make tacky home videos with concepts you saw someone else do.. You put a bunch of random shit together and because even YOU can't understand it, you call it "art".. Man get the fuck out.. You'll do anything to be the cool mothafucker.. Fuck outta here with that shit.

Alright...have to see what ya say about me lol.

Sag sun

Sag moon

Scorp rising

Posted by oneday
Leo sun Libra moon Taurus rising

As soon as something makes sense to you, you just stick right to it and it could be the dumbest shit.. You found it inspirational for a split moment, and now its some fuckin motto for you. Now you looking up to whatever handicap sumbitch that said it. You might be cool as shit.. But you play both sides in a situation, it's hard to trust ya bitch ass. You like the things that sound good... I don't who in de world would fuck with you..

lol hilarious

Scorpio rising

Aqua sun

Sag moon

Posted by CuddleBug88
Alright...have to see what ya say about me lol.

Sag sun

Sag moon

Scorp rising

If you've only had sex with "about" 4 guys, then why was it so easy to fuck you?? You probably got gang banged back in HS by this dude who you gave you a little bit of sexual attention and his friends.. I'm guessing how you lost your virginity isn't so sweet.. Or interesting. You probably wear the cheapest underwear.. The floral polyester thongs you think are satin.. I would never ask for a sip of your drink.. You probably sipping on boogie ass Hennesy with cranberry juice.. Outside a sports bottle with the built in straw. You kiss anyone who has the balls to sexually touch you..

Posted by justagirl
lol hilarious

Scorpio rising

Aqua sun

Sag moon

I bet you were almost an art teacher.. They get no respect, but to the weird loner kids..?? You are their fuckin leader. I had a dream I busted you upside the head with a bottle and your new profile was "justabottle" with a beer glass upside ya skull.. What a twist.. It's true.. I would never fuckin argue with you though.. I would just knock you the fuck out yes I know you're a woman. Clean the fuck out. Not very logical, super fuckin whiney when upset.

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by CuddleBug88
Alright...have to see what ya say about me lol.

Sag sun

Sag moon

Scorp rising

If you've only had sex with "about" 4 guys, then why was it so easy to fuck you?? You probably got gang banged back in HS by this dude who you gave you a little bit of sexual attention and his friends.. I'm guessing how you lost your virginity isn't so sweet.. Or interesting. You probably wear the cheapest underwear.. The floral polyester thongs you think are satin.. I would never ask for a sip of your drink.. You probably sipping on boogie ass Hennesy with cranberry juice.. Outside a sports bottle with the built in straw. You kiss anyone who has the balls to sexually touch you..

click to expand

😂😂 dead.

Gangbanged? Oh dear baby jesus, hell nah. I'm soooo vanilla lol. I do drunkenly make out with lots of my friends tho...thx! lol.

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by justagirl
lol hilarious

Scorpio rising

Aqua sun

Sag moon

I bet you were almost an art teacher.. They get no respect, but to the weird loner kids..?? You are their fuckin leader. I had a dream I busted you upside the head with a bottle and your new profile was "justabottle" with a beer glass upside ya skull.. What a twist.. It's true.. I would never fuckin argue with you though.. I would just knock you the fuck out yes I know you're a woman. Clean the fuck out. Not very logical, super fuckin whiney when upset.

click to expand

Lolol I considered being an art teacher! Lol super whiney when sick that's for sure!

😆

Posted by nano
Gemini sun

Capricorn moon

Leo rising

🤗

For one, I'm only fuckin replying cuz you're hot. I'm so tired of you damn Geminis, you fuckers overpopulate the earth. I'm convinced you ALL reincarnate as Geminis........ There is no ending you fuckin Geminis. This combo? Stay far the hell away from me.. You only act like you like people, I would never fuckin trust you. After a long day of pretending to be sane; you probably unzip your skin exposing your red scales, and then get in the bath and go "Ahhhhhh". What the fuck. Do you hear voices...? No? Go get help anyway, because you had to think about it. You are a lousy ass friend. You play fight too rough and I'm forced to deck your shit. I would slap the shit out you if you ever get the pride to try me.

Ready





[URL=http://imgur.com/t61cw15]http://i.imgur.com/t61cw15.jpg[/URL]

Keep coming

Posted by sierra_
dude i'll pay for a book of this

sweet nonsense

That's a challenge I'm willin to accept $ $

Leo Sun Aries Moon Sag rising

Posted by Nenja
Leo Sun Aries Moon Sag rising

Man, if I play kickball with you, I gotta go first because that grostique muscle of a right calf on your leg... Is freakin me out. You a real fuckin prankster and that's because your momma never beat your ass. It's never too late for an abortion, moms. Kill it before it becomes irresponsible. You probably got ya own style , but that don't mean you know how to dress, big homie. I'ma need you to fix ya buttons if you gonna decide to put $ 300 on a weak ass Burberry button down. Get ya hair out ya face and be more understanding wit da ladies.. Shit, but a lot of guys wish they had your game. Do you even try? You wake up lookin like a homeless millionaire and they chicks just flock. I'll give you about 2 years before you locked up for battery.

Posted by Nenja
Leo Sun Aries Moon Sag rising

And yeah... Nice shades...

NOT AHAAAAAAA

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by Emhendo
Keep coming

I'm mad you didn't call me hot but you called nano hot

Ummmmmm



Puts on glasses

See im smexxy

click to expand

Well, you better look like 90s Sadé

How bout Gemini sun, Cap moon and Virgo rising?

Posted by CuddleBug88
How bout Gemini sun, Cap moon and Virgo rising?

Did that..... Virgo rising can get it though.. Tell that Sponge Bob acting mothafucker that it's okay to have a drink.. Slap a bitch on the ass.. And cuss when it's unwarranted. I don't like those stains on your shirt, but I don't say shit.. So don't mention how many damn tamales I'm putting in my chilli. You don't gotta open your BIG little mouth all the time.. Fffuckin need to get popped in it.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Roast this girl@enfant_terrible

He's a leo sun crab moon



Don't know rising

She's a leo sun crab moon

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Roast this girl@enfant_terrible

He's a leo sun crab moon



Don't know rising

She's a leo sun crab moon

Your rising?

click to expand

It's in my profile

lmao, if you're still roasting people:

i'm a cancer sun, cancer moon, leo rising. do your worst

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Roast this girl@enfant_terrible

He's a leo sun crab moon



Don't know rising

She's a leo sun crab moon

Your rising?

It's in my profile

click to expand

This is what happens when the damn Sun and Moon come together in a natal chart. You get a fuckin transgender.. AHA!! No, I'm just confused as of how you are obviously a man but you correct "he" to "she". But what the fuck ever, don't really care too much for you and neither does anyone else. You probably prefer people to actually PAY you in attention. Like the fuck $ 15 dollars you earned for moving your elderly neighbor's big ass futon up a flight of steps.. Just fuckin tell me I'm pretty! Taurus rising eyeballs freak me the fuck out. They look like painted golf balls in the skull. Freakishly huge eyes.. I guess that's why you're wearing shades. I bet you threw the WORSE tantrums as a fuckin child... I know yo momma GLAD you are grown and out her fuckin house.

Posted by moodyintellect
lmao, if you're still roasting people:

i'm a cancer sun, cancer moon, leo rising. do your worst

Stop. Staring. In. The. Mirror. You won't get a reward for using a lint roller and fixing your hair to a T before you leave the house ... Or your junky ass room. Clean that shit. Stop eating up all the chips and juices from the kids.. You too old to still like Mott's fruit snacks. You don't have to cry over every fictional death.. Even though Villains are mourned with this one.. You let people hurt you though. Then you unleash your ultimate form that we all didn't know you had.. A bunny rabbit... With red eyes and jagged teeth ready to ear your asshole alive.

Cancer rising

Leo sun

Scorpio moon

🙂