A Fucka Roast (Sun, Moon, Asc) (Page 2)

Posted by Soul
Cancer rising

Leo sun

Scorpio moon

🙂

I bet one glance at you is like the first time hearing The Beatles. That's not a good thing. Why? Their music sounds creepy.. Sooooo, you prolly look creepy, bruh. I'm sorry you never lost your baby fat.. If you have facial hair, I feel even badder for you. Lookin like a toddler with a soul patch. You probably spend an unhealthy amount of money on simple shit... Like a burger. You would pay $ 10 for meat and buns just because it's double stacked with premium cut bacon.. Actually I would too, but that's not the point.. I bet you have fuckin secrets.. Well, we all do.. But these secrets are straight up freaky. Like I'm sure you own a flesh light or make pocket pussies..

hahahahaha this is funny af.

Aries sun, Aqua moon, Leo rising

[URL=http://imgur.com/M7OuTeo]http://i.imgur.com/M7OuTeo.jpg[/URL]

I don't miss.

Posted by kiwibean
hahahahaha this is funny af.

Aries sun, Aqua moon, Leo rising

Bruh. You probably yell at your mother in front of company. You don't gotta change hair style s every time a cooler one is trending. You take up a large amount of space for nooo reason.. Like you probably hog two seats on the train, or put all your fuckin junk on a table and make people uncomfortable to sit there. I woulda hated to have class with you back in HS.. I could never nap with an Aries in the class. You tell stupid ass jokes that only you understand, but when you explain it's actually funny but explaining made it lame. Everyday you spend an obnoxious amount of time in the bathroom.. You bring a blue tooth speaker, an bottle of water and 30 different hygiene products.

Posted by PeanutPunch
Cancer

Scorpio

Scorpio

Turn me into a pack

Nah... You see, I'm exercising being petty as New Year's resolution, and you voted me as biggest tryhard recently.. Now ya laughing at my jokes. What a twist.. But I'll leave you with this.. You probably got some angry ass eyebrows.

Posted by HWD
Pisces

Pisces

Cancer

Holy shit. How do you go through this cold world without a blanket and a suit made of bubble wrap? You don't gotta be so quiet when an alpha is in the room.. It just makes you look way more beta than usual. I bet you had an emo phase. You prolly do exteme sports but won't kill a roach. The weirdest shit happens to you.. Like sudden nose bleeds.

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Roast this girl@enfant_terrible

He's a leo sun crab moon



Don't know rising

She's a leo sun crab moon

Your rising?

It's in my profile

This is what happens when the damn Sun and Moon come together in a natal chart. You get a fuckin transgender.. AHA!! No, I'm just confused as of how you are obviously a man but you correct "he" to "she". But what the fuck ever, don't really care too much for you and neither does anyone else. You probably prefer people to actually PAY you in attention. Like the fuck $ 15 dollars you earned for moving your elderly neighbor's big ass futon up a flight of steps.. Just fuckin tell me I'm pretty! Taurus rising eyeballs freak me the fuck out. They look like painted golf balls in the skull. Freakishly huge eyes.. I guess that's why you're wearing shades. I bet you threw the WORSE tantrums as a fuckin child... I know yo momma GLAD you are grown and out her fuckin house.

click to expand

Dude lay off the heavy stuff

Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Roast this girl@enfant_terrible

He's a leo sun crab moon



Don't know rising

She's a leo sun crab moon

Your rising?

It's in my profile

This is what happens when the damn Sun and Moon come together in a natal chart. You get a fuckin transgender.. AHA!! No, I'm just confused as of how you are obviously a man but you correct "he" to "she". But what the fuck ever, don't really care too much for you and neither does anyone else. You probably prefer people to actually PAY you in attention. Like the fuck $ 15 dollars you earned for moving your elderly neighbor's big ass futon up a flight of steps.. Just fuckin tell me I'm pretty! Taurus rising eyeballs freak me the fuck out. They look like painted golf balls in the skull. Freakishly huge eyes.. I guess that's why you're wearing shades. I bet you threw the WORSE tantrums as a fuckin child... I know yo momma GLAD you are grown and out her fuckin house.

Dude lay off the heavy stuff

click to expand

I don't think it's meant to be taken deadly serious

Most people realize it's a piss take 😛

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by Soul
Cancer rising

Leo sun

Scorpio moon

🙂

I bet one glance at you is like the first time hearing The Beatles. That's not a good thing. Why? Their music sounds creepy.. Sooooo, you prolly look creepy, bruh. I'm sorry you never lost your baby fat.. If you have facial hair, I feel even badder for you. Lookin like a toddler with a soul patch. You probably spend an unhealthy amount of money on simple shit... Like a burger. You would pay $ 10 for meat and buns just because it's double stacked with premium cut bacon.. Actually I would too, but that's not the point.. I bet you have fuckin secrets.. Well, we all do.. But these secrets are straight up freaky. Like I'm sure you own a flesh light or make pocket pussies..

click to expand

+1 lol

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Roast this girl@enfant_terrible

He's a leo sun crab moon



Don't know rising

She's a leo sun crab moon

Your rising?

It's in my profile

This is what happens when the damn Sun and Moon come together in a natal chart. You get a fuckin transgender.. AHA!! No, I'm just confused as of how you are obviously a man but you correct "he" to "she". But what the fuck ever, don't really care too much for you and neither does anyone else. You probably prefer people to actually PAY you in attention. Like the fuck $ 15 dollars you earned for moving your elderly neighbor's big ass futon up a flight of steps.. Just fuckin tell me I'm pretty! Taurus rising eyeballs freak me the fuck out. They look like painted golf balls in the skull. Freakishly huge eyes.. I guess that's why you're wearing shades. I bet you threw the WORSE tantrums as a fuckin child... I know yo momma GLAD you are grown and out her fuckin house.

Dude lay off the heavy stuff

click to expand

Who entertains a roast, just say some fuckin "dude lay off the heavy the stuff".. a Leo sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus rising.. lmao "DUUDE LAY OFF THE HEAVY STUFFFF" ..Fuck is that about

This is and was so much fun. Fuck da bullshit. I gonna rip on folks some more. You smoking crack if you think you gon come up in here with some attitude and a fuck is given ahaaa

Posted by wiseblood
Ouuuu ME! Roast my placements!!! 😆

I wanna see how much you get right!

Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Asc

Aye, it's confusing a fuck when you share new knowledge with your friends and then violently push them away when they start to look up to ya.. That's a true coward that's scared to fuckin lead anything. You try to run from your problems like they come with razor teeth, but trip and bust out ya own teeth. Why can't you speak the fuck up and tell people how you really feel, huh?? You got a lot to say through text and I see the way you mug me out the corner of my eye, but it's damn near beyond you to say the fucks on your mind to a face. You swear you like people, but we all know if we was.on the Titanic, you making sure to save ya own fuckin ass and nobody else's. If one person had to sacrifice themselves and get off the hell off the island, you'd be the one that announced it Ahaaa.. This is one asshole you wanna strangle

Posted by MyStarsShine
Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

Can you do this one when you have time?

.......and sorry it's that Cancer Leo combo again

🙄

Thanks

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by MyStarsShine
Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

Can you do this one when you have time?

.......and sorry it's that Cancer Leo combo again

🙄

Thanks

Every time you look up, this mothafucker got a new scar and bruise. It's like, baby-proof this asshole's apartment, before they fuckin suffer a freak accident that strangely looks like a homicide. Why would you grab that fuckin cookie pan out that hot ass oven without a mitten? Was you too lazy to grab it or too impatient to use that extra 15 seconds— Every activity ain't for you, so I'ma need you to stop thinking you can fly too.. You probably was in special education back in school, and had a crush on your school work helper.. A middle age white lady. Speakin of crushing, you fall in wayyyy too fast.. But you so fixed on what you THINK a word means, the proper definition is surely just infatuation, cuz you get over them wayyyyy too fast... Those random outburst are only cool SOMETIMES. Those other times it makes you look fuckin mentally challenged. How the fuck are you an average sized human with the stregnth of 10 men?? You are old as shit and live with family.. Yet you have secret company everyday.. How the fuck don't they know your having a bedroom party?? If a live alone, how the hell did you that piano in your house?? Really... You don't even fuckin play. How did you afford it .. And how the fuck did it fit through your front door

click to expand

Thank you....I will pass it on 🙂

Did you ever consider writing a book.....*short stories from the ghetto*....tongue in cheek style

You could read them out at family gatherings 😛



Go down a storm I reckon

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by MyStarsShine
Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

Can you do this one when you have time?

.......and sorry it's that Cancer Leo combo again

🙄

Thanks

Every time you look up, this mothafucker got a new scar and bruise. It's like, baby-proof this asshole's apartment, before they fuckin suffer a freak accident that strangely looks like a homicide. Why would you grab that fuckin cookie pan out that hot ass oven without a mitten? Was you too lazy to grab it or too impatient to use that extra 15 seconds— Every activity ain't for you, so I'ma need you to stop thinking you can fly too.. You probably was in special education back in school, and had a crush on your school work helper.. A middle age white lady. Speakin of crushing, you fall in wayyyy too fast.. But you so fixed on what you THINK a word means, the proper definition is surely just infatuation, cuz you get over them wayyyyy too fast... Those random outburst are only cool SOMETIMES. Those other times it makes you look fuckin mentally challenged. How the fuck are you an average sized human with the stregnth of 10 men?? You are old as shit and live with family.. Yet you have secret company everyday.. How the fuck don't they know your having a bedroom party?? If a live alone, how the hell did you that piano in your house?? Really... You don't even fuckin play. How did you afford it .. And how the fuck did it fit through your front door

Thank you....I will pass it on 🙂

Did you ever consider writing a book.....*short stories from the ghetto*....tongue in cheek style

You could read them out at family gatherings 😛



Go down a storm I reckon

click to expand

Why do you think I should consider writing a book called short stories from the ghetto? Cuz I'm black?? Not upset, I'm seriously asking.......

Cuz I can write a children's book and eroticas..

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by MyStarsShine
Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

Can you do this one when you have time?

.......and sorry it's that Cancer Leo combo again

🙄

Thanks

Every time you look up, this mothafucker got a new scar and bruise. It's like, baby-proof this asshole's apartment, before they fuckin suffer a freak accident that strangely looks like a homicide. Why would you grab that fuckin cookie pan out that hot ass oven without a mitten? Was you too lazy to grab it or too impatient to use that extra 15 seconds— Every activity ain't for you, so I'ma need you to stop thinking you can fly too.. You probably was in special education back in school, and had a crush on your school work helper.. A middle age white lady. Speakin of crushing, you fall in wayyyy too fast.. But you so fixed on what you THINK a word means, the proper definition is surely just infatuation, cuz you get over them wayyyyy too fast... Those random outburst are only cool SOMETIMES. Those other times it makes you look fuckin mentally challenged. How the fuck are you an average sized human with the stregnth of 10 men?? You are old as shit and live with family.. Yet you have secret company everyday.. How the fuck don't they know your having a bedroom party?? If a live alone, how the hell did you that piano in your house?? Really... You don't even fuckin play. How did you afford it .. And how the fuck did it fit through your front door

Thank you....I will pass it on 🙂

Did you ever consider writing a book.....*short stories from the ghetto*....tongue in cheek style

You could read them out at family gatherings 😛



Go down a storm I reckon

Why do you think I should consider writing a book called short stories from the ghetto? Cuz I'm black?? Not upset, I'm seriously asking.......

Cuz I can write a children's book and eroticas..

click to expand

Because its something different.....unique and it may appeal to younger people, kind of like rapping in story book form.....does that make sense ?

No, not because you are black.....the energy a person gives off is colourless. I see, at times a person's potential

You write already.....yes ?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by MyStarsShine
Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

Can you do this one when you have time?

.......and sorry it's that Cancer Leo combo again

🙄

Thanks

Every time you look up, this mothafucker got a new scar and bruise. It's like, baby-proof this asshole's apartment, before they fuckin suffer a freak accident that strangely looks like a homicide. Why would you grab that fuckin cookie pan out that hot ass oven without a mitten? Was you too lazy to grab it or too impatient to use that extra 15 seconds— Every activity ain't for you, so I'ma need you to stop thinking you can fly too.. You probably was in special education back in school, and had a crush on your school work helper.. A middle age white lady. Speakin of crushing, you fall in wayyyy too fast.. But you so fixed on what you THINK a word means, the proper definition is surely just infatuation, cuz you get over them wayyyyy too fast... Those random outburst are only cool SOMETIMES. Those other times it makes you look fuckin mentally challenged. How the fuck are you an average sized human with the stregnth of 10 men?? You are old as shit and live with family.. Yet you have secret company everyday.. How the fuck don't they know your having a bedroom party?? If a live alone, how the hell did you that piano in your house?? Really... You don't even fuckin play. How did you afford it .. And how the fuck did it fit through your front door

Thank you....I will pass it on 🙂

Did you ever consider writing a book.....*short stories from the ghetto*....tongue in cheek style

You could read them out at family gatherings 😛



Go down a storm I reckon

Why do you think I should consider writing a book called short stories from the ghetto? Cuz I'm black?? Not upset, I'm seriously asking.......

Cuz I can write a children's book and eroticas..

Because its something different.....unique and it may appeal to younger people, kind of like rapping in story book form.....does that make sense ?

No, not because you are black.....the energy a person gives off is colourless. I see, at times a person's potential

You write already.....yes ?

click to expand

Well, it's not a bad idea 'cause I got a lot of em.. I don't write, but I'm capable

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Emhendo

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by MyStarsShine
Thanks for the offer 🙂

Can I get one for a friend ?

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Gemini

Rising: Leo

A

Can you do this one when you have time?

.......and sorry it's that Cancer Leo combo again

🙄

Thanks

Every time you look up, this mothafucker got a new scar and bruise. It's like, baby-proof this asshole's apartment, before they fuckin suffer a freak accident that strangely looks like a homicide. Why would you grab that fuckin cookie pan out that hot ass oven without a mitten? Was you too lazy to grab it or too impatient to use that extra 15 seconds— Every activity ain't for you, so I'ma need you to stop thinking you can fly too.. You probably was in special education back in school, and had a crush on your school work helper.. A middle age white lady. Speakin of crushing, you fall in wayyyy too fast.. But you so fixed on what you THINK a word means, the proper definition is surely just infatuation, cuz you get over them wayyyyy too fast... Those random outburst are only cool SOMETIMES. Those other times it makes you look fuckin mentally challenged. How the fuck are you an average sized human with the stregnth of 10 men?? You are old as shit and live with family.. Yet you have secret company everyday.. How the fuck don't they know your having a bedroom party?? If a live alone, how the hell did you that piano in your house?? Really... You don't even fuckin play. How did you afford it .. And how the fuck did it fit through your front door

Thank you....I will pass it on 🙂

Did you ever consider writing a book.....*short stories from the ghetto*....tongue in cheek style

You could read them out at family gatherings 😛



Go down a storm I reckon

Why do you think I should consider writing a book called short stories from the ghetto? Cuz I'm black?? Not upset, I'm seriously asking.......

Cuz I can write a children's book and eroticas..

Because its something different.....unique and it may appeal to younger people, kind of like rapping in story book form.....does that make sense ?

No, not because you are black.....the energy a person gives off is colourless. I see, at times a person's potential

You write already.....yes ?

Well, it's not a bad idea 'cause I got a lot of em.. I don't write, but I'm capable

click to expand

When you get published, send me the first copy 🙂

Years ago I was told by an Irish clairvoyant that one of my jobs was to help guide people on their path ... I sense the direction someone is meant to go in, at times

Good luck !

Posted by Toti

Posted by Emhendo
Saggitarius Moon and rising female-

It don't even matter her fuckin Sun sign.. This bitch is an absolute "gotta be there" girl. She's always "there".. Ya know. She's always at a party, gathering, concert, event, kickback, fe-fe.. You tell it, she gonna try and make it. Like maybe not even to party, probably just sit and smile at everyone.. ACTUALLY, I'd think she'd be freakin gorgeous.. You'd think she'd be a talker, but nah.. She def don't do small talk, but this bitch got "good luck", my ass. Some shit might always go down with this heffa.. Just out here trynna get her coochie ate got her caught in the mix. Somethings, you wanna grab her by her big boobed shirt and tell she don't have to go and do that.. That it's fuckin lame or a set up.. She might have phoney ass friends.. And know it, but still hangs around for the experience. She'd probably be a "nist" of some kind and talk about shit that ain't really effecting her or fake "hate" on the male attention till it sounds braggish. She might yell..........

Oooo don't get me started..

Drop Sun, Moon, Asc below.. I'll roast da shit out them. If you wanna finish roast Sag combo female, just ask.

What about saggitarius moon male?

click to expand

I know 3 chicks with the combo, 2 guys. They are alike.. Read it in a male tense

Posted by OCJack

Posted by TheTinMan
@OCJack get in here. The op accepts and awaits your challenge.

Are you a man or a mouse? Don't let emhendo prove you wrong. Get in here dude and accept getting roast.

If it was someone more respectable... I mean you literally picked the most AIDS-like person here.

Plus you can't roast God, that's called Blasphemy and you go to hell. Just ask Supes about his divinely inflicted Cancer for talkin shit to me.

click to expand

That is a highly offensive comment about Supes.....if you are a man and have any decency in you, you will remove it

Disgusting

Posted by TheTinMan

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by OCJack

Posted by TheTinMan
@OCJack get in here. The op accepts and awaits your challenge.

Are you a man or a mouse? Don't let emhendo prove you wrong. Get in here dude and accept getting roast.

If it was someone more respectable... I mean you literally picked the most AIDS-like person here.

Plus you can't roast God, that's called Blasphemy and you go to hell. Just ask Supes about his divinely inflicted Cancer for talkin shit to me.

That is a highly offensive comment about Supes.....if you are a man and have any decency in you, you will remove it

Disgusting

😯 you mean he really do have cancer?

That's a low blow on his behalf for making fun of someone with cancer.

*smh*

click to expand

Yes, just diagnosed....😢

Posted by OCJack

Posted by TheTinMan
@OCJack get in here. The op accepts and awaits your challenge.

Are you a man or a mouse? Don't let emhendo prove you wrong. Get in here dude and accept getting roast.

If it was someone more respectable... I mean you literally picked the most AIDS-like person here.

Plus you can't roast God, that's called Blasphemy and you go to hell. Just ask Supes about his divinely inflicted Cancer for talkin shit to me.

click to expand

I guess he's a mouse then..

You have no wits, so stop running your damn mouth.

If everyone thinks I'm worthy of roastin "GOD".. Then you might not be the only god around this bitch.

Honestly, I KNOW and I'm CONFIDENT in my verbal attire that I would absolutely be wasting my time with you ANYWAY. You ain't even no damn real competition.. You come at me and I eat your ass alive everytime. I get the classic "tl;dr" from this clown. Look at the way you talk, you ain't really about shit...

If someone challenged me, I'm on their ass right then and there. We ain't setting a date, cooking dinner together first or none of that shit.. It's right here, right now. I don't use excuses like a "little betch" (In my Connor McGregor voice, my favorite most and inspirational crab man)

@thetinman

I can't believe you spoke so highly of his name and pro-claimed badassery... And I'm not seeing any of that shit.

Dude's a punk. I'm offended that you put our names together as if he's on another level and he ain't on shit.

Like, put me up against a "real nigga". Not some nerd with the aids and cancer jokes.. The fuck??



So offended.

He's pussy.

@PussyJack

Your new name.

Aqua rising Scorp sun Virgo moon

Posted by OCJack

Posted by Emhendo
If everyone thinks I'm worthy of roastin "GOD"..

Except, they don't. Everybody here has thought you're a total worthless sack of shit and have said so endlessly and bluntly since you first started posting here. Soooo?

click to expand

Soooo.. Do you accept the fuckin challenge or not, dickwad?

Stop proving me right and embarrassing yourself.

But I guess I already roasted you enough anyway, I'm happy to turn you a burnt piece of toast.. Or a burnt "bag of shit"

Stop speaking for everyone else, speak for yourself... Cuz I don't see people making hate threads about me and coming onto threads that ain't got shit to do with me and talking shit.

Actually, I think they fuckin know better..

I think YOU are beginning to know better. I bet I won't hear much from you after today, you'd probably think twice before coming onto my threads.. Ahaa

I already knew you was a Mangina when you talked about loving and caring for whores and bitches in my dating thread... But you especially proved it last night went I went on one thread about Scorpio men an this Taurus chick was bitching about some Scorp guy not wanting her at all after having sex one time..

Bruh, listen.. He THINKS he knows Scorpio men so well because he got two little punk ass planets in Scorpio. He thinks he knows them so well that he was literally ARGUING with this Taurus bitch that the Scorpio "LOVES YOU... HE'S SCARED.. HE WANTS YOU BUT DOESN'T KNOW HOW" .. I'm like, barf.. When it's clear as day that all that man wanted to do was fuck. He's sending that woman off. Like what the fuck is @PussyJack talking about?? LMAOO AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA

Posted by OCJack

Posted by TheTinMan
😯 you mean he really do have cancer? That's a low blow on his behalf for making fun of someone with cancer. *smh*

It's not a joke, I'm dead serious. Everyone who crosses me either inevitably sees the error of their ways, or they suffer.

click to expand

How can I "cross" you and we was never fuckin friends?? Fuck that noise.

Fuck are you talking about? I ain't fuckin scared of that mumbo jumbo.

I want to get roasted!

Libra sun

Libra moon

Cancer rising

Aries Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising

Posted by OCJack

Posted by Emhendo
How can I "cross" you and we was never fuckin friends?? Fuck that noise.

So because we were NEVER friends, that's somehow... better? lolwat

click to expand

Look "retard" (your favorite word). In order to CROSS somebody, you have had to establish some kind of acquaintance for the line to be "CROSSED"..

I don't know you and I don't give a fuck about you, bruh.. Ain't shit to cross

Retard.

Alright. Fuck @OCJack.. AKA @PussyJack

Let's get back to this shit; entertaining the folks who actually ain't scared of a good roast..

I'm sorry I left y'all hanging and I promise to make y'all laugh.



Let's get it, cuz I'm not to get some



http://i.imgur.com/8Dqk6Od' title=''>

Posted by sierra_
omg

pls make one about:



pisces sun, aries moon, scorpio rising

Shit, you probably get mistaken for the opposite sex sometimes.. It's alright that you only attract gay men, they won't want you either when they notice you ain't some Twink.

Anyways, you KNOW you can do it when ya put ya mind to it.. But we didn't think "BIG DREAMS" would be you coming home with a damn pet monkey.. That you grew disinterested in like a 5 year-old and a hamster.

You ain't always gotta dig ya fuckin nose in people's business, like who was even talking to you??

Aye, when shit hits the fan.. You CANNOT take care of yaself.. So mooove out the way, sugar. It's okay to let a friend bail you out the bullshit you started. No matter how hard ya try, somebody else gotta squash that bug.. PFFAHAAAHAHA

AYE, I don't mean to make you doubt yourself more than you already do at times.. But I never seen Wonder Woman cry either, so uh..

Posted by AneemA04
Hey Emhendo, roast me good.

Sag rising, scorp sun, cancer moon here

Gawd, do you EVER stop playing the victim in your love life?? It's been 5 years, I think it's time to hop on a new pogo stick and stop crying about the old one.

I know you are aware of your radiance and how attractive that can be, but WE know that YOU know this too and at that point, it's just time to stop acting so cheesy. You are a walking oxymoron.. So emotionally aggressive. This the person that fuckin grabs you by the shirt gets in YOUR FACE with THEIR FACE covered in tears and snot and says DO YOU FEEL WHAT I FEEL TOO?!?" And it's like, uhh fuck no.. Cuz if I dropped my scoop of ice cream as soon as I left the shop, I would just buy another



....Stop abusing your prescribed medicine.. And stay home sometimes or fuckin gear up with bubble wrap before you go.

Posted by Scorpino
omg, I'm so effing late when it matters!

Roast dis female ova heeere: Scorpio sun, Gemini moon, Sagittarius ascendant

You prolly too chill fa me, bayybee.. One cool ass chick, I'm sure.. But you don't gotta go and fuck husbands and boyfriends when your bored. When someone's baby momma pulls up with that stick, we actually want to have ya back, but it's like damn you deserved that near-ass whooping. You probably have that type of sex where you pray afterwards AHAHAAA.. "Put on your biohazard suit, there is sweat an cum on these sheets.. And lots of it".. I understand you can't be controlled and you wanna do whatever the fuck you literally FEEL like doing, but just chill for a fuckin second like you just we're doing.. We bout to order pizza. And fuck did that burst of energy come from anyway?? I know you try not to get too excited, and you shouldn't cuz it's funny as hell when you say "WOOO" .. And not in a good way.. Sitcho ass down.. But you chill at the same time.. What are we ever gonna do with you??

Posted by RooSagicorn
Sag sun, aqua moon, Cap Rising

Capricorn rising??! You fuckers are all over this bitch.. Let me order about 30 freakin tubs of fucka shea butter, and I will deliver them to your house PERSONALLY.. Because you devils need some moisturizer.. ASAP.. Y'all is DRY AS FUCK.. On the inside and out.

But you?? I'm sure you are a nice lady, judging by this combo, but this a roast ma'am. I called you ma'am because you probably come off like your 57 and you just turn 33.. That's not very attractive, shit. I feel bad for ya, because you definitely got that Benjamin Button.. PFFTAHAHAAA.

Your goal are too high, how did you ever reach them? Tell us your damn secrets already.. Was it ass kissing or betraying?? Which one worked dammit?

Posted by Toti
Scorpio sun, virgo Rising, pisces moon.

I damn near threw up when I realized what this combination would be.. A weird ass mothafucker.. Such a mystery but one you figure out pretty quick when you ask em what they wanna do for a living.. "I aspire to voice the opinion of mute people.. Because they don't have a voice.. And I too, can relate" ...WELL, ALRIGHT HERO. The fuck..

You probably are the biggest loner someone would ever meet.. And you probably don't like to be touched.. But no one would wanna get too close anyway. You just rub us wrong.

Posted by Cancervirgo15degrees
Cancer sun. Cancer moon. Virgo rising. 😂😂

Look.... Look........ Come here... I ain't gon yell at you, I know how much you hate that.. Look.. Crab to Crab...........

STOP BEING SO DAMN CRABBY.. It's okay that somebody told you no, someone else will tell you yes, so just chill. Okay?? You are one crazy mothafucka on the low.. We found this out when you threw a party and decided to wear no clothes at it. You sure you didn't want to lay a towel down before you sat your bare ass on that black leather couch and made it extra warm for the drunk ass guest? You just practice this form of nudity and you may not even fuckin realize it. You catch the biggest attitude and have a tantrum when someone ain't "on" what you "on".. You feel me?? I'm sure you do, you feel everything. Shit.. Yeah. Don't yell at this person, they might SNAP and you didn't even see it coming. Might get your nose busted then handed a warm towel by this naked lady.

Posted by halalbae
Gemini Sun

Virgo Moon

Scorpio ASC

We got double mercury in this bitch. Are you sure aren't diagnosed with manic-depressive bipolar? One minute you are laughing your ass off at the TV, and then you just violently plugged the vacuum in and started "eliminating" the 3 little crumbs on the carpet. I asked you what you doing, you said "eliminating" .. Uh do you man CLEANING? Keep in mind, it was only one dust mite on the window seal and then she just had go through a bottle of Windex. A fuckin robot in human flesh right here.. One strange chick with strange ways..

Cap sun, Libra moon, Aries rising

Posted by Librah
I want to get roasted!

Libra sun

Libra moon

Cancer rising

When you made an honest mistake that pissed everybody off.. LIE.. Take it from this guy right here. Just lie to yourself out of shit.. Hell, shake ya ass and bat your eyes if you have to .. Tell em, @Librah.

Posted by capitalism
Me!Me!Me!

Cap sun

Cap moon

Cap rising

One word.

DRY..

Do you laugh, do you cry, is your smile NOT unpleasant?

You probably literally look like a goat.. You probably ARE a goat, holy shit. Reveal yourself. This roast bout to be CAPricous as shit, so don't expect consistency. A CORNucopia of cigarette ashes, rocks, prunes and raisins with some pretzels and whatever the fuck else is dry.. All right here. What are the CAPitals of every state in the US? This guy might can name a few, shit. I probably would notice you more on here if you used ya CAPlocks. AHAHAHAHAHA.. Lame jokes that I'm sure you enjoyed.

How is anyone suppose to "get to know you first" if you are pushing them away?? That's just some ol bullshit .. One awkward ass dude right here. He's not even CAPable of taking a group photo. I'm positive you prefer anal over pussy.. It's just DRY enough fa you.

Aye, I lied about this roast being capricious and inconsistent.. Which I know you Capricorns hate is a good ol' lie. You probably compete the most with other Capricorns .. Gawd, you probably have the worst fuckin vibes. Looking at you would be like looking at a guy watching paint dry, but he's pissed off in the face. Don't know how to dance, probably owns ya own business but it's barely making it, probably sell false dreams because you don't believe in dreaming like everyone else, just doing.. AHAHAHAHAHA

Aries Sun, Virgo Moon, Sagittarius Rising.

Virgo Sun

Cancer Moon

Cancer ascendant

Posted by Mona_Machiavelli
Aqua rising Scorp sun Virgo moon

You look hella unapproachable, you are very unappreciating.. And I promise you ain't as interesting as you think you are. I don't need you to fuckin tell me what I need to with my life, and I'm not about to sarcastically thank you.. As you would do to me, if I told you what to do with yours. Nobody can drive da demons from your soul, but you don't have to tend to them.. Like little children. It's okay to cry. You would probably prefer to live in different houses than ya partner to avoid marriage problems.. Or just have a relationship like that. You don't care about much, but when you care.. You CARE. It's like damn, back up off me.. I need help, not foreign body heat. Snarky ass bitch too.. Like damn somebody is proud of their fuckin high school diploma.

Posted by Arielle83
Do me!

Cancer sun, libra moon, Aries asc

Aggressively pleasing the people ..

"HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!!! ..No, seriously .. Do you like me??"

Yes, we like you.. But so much that we just end up abusing you.. Kindness for weakness is mistaken in everybody you come across, baby. All those violent thoughts needa come into play, I know you got tha fuckin balls. If you asked to walk a bunch of snotty kids from school, you gonna do it. If you told to get on your knees and choke throat the dick, you gonna do it. But if you asked for the last slice of your favorite pie, you not gonna give it.. Fuckin food freak. Fascinated by danger and that bad shit, but probably won't live that way.. Watch this chick, y'all could be hanging out and next thing you know she ditched you for a ride on the Harley.

Posted by Aurora_Borealis
Aries Sun with a Libra Ascendant and Capricorn Moon. Can't say I'd want You to do me, but You are welcome to shoot 😂

Yes.. you want me to do you..

You just like Gretchen Weiner in Mean Girls.. "My dad is like, the CEO of toaster strudel." NOBODY CAREEESSS, BAYBEH. You think you got some type of authority everywhere you go, and it's like nah.. And I can't hang around somebody that says "I can't believe you're out with me in those disgusting shoes". Who the fuck are you?? You wear brown and grey, boring colors.. You are the driest Aries around.. Just sit and stare at your work all day.. You intimidate people with your bias ass views. Who fuckin cares if you drug-free. You go to bed early as shit.. You like to be punished and fucked mercilessly in your ass.

Posted by ItsMeRoman
Do me

Aries/Taurus cusp Sun

Pisces moon

Cancer rising

-

Venus Aries

Mars Taurus

Merc Aries

First off... I don't give a fuck about your Mercury, Venus and Mars..

That's what's with you Arius people.. AriTau.. Aritards.

You think people give a shit about y'all's existence, like we ain't existing too.. So exist in peace.. Be quiet. Especially with that damn Pisces moon, you probably got it BAAAD... You ain't aware of shit.. You need to smoke weed and gain some self-realization.. It's gon hit you like a ton of bricks, but eh.. You a tough gyal. I bet you have nice tits though, or something about ya body is poppin.. Why not use it to get ahead in life?? TEEHEE. You could be a seductive misses, and you don't even fuckin know it.. What a waste. You are a waste. Beauty, no brains.