sister almost always does the same as me. what do you think?

i have a very big problem that i do not know if generally is an issue and i would like to ask people with siblings what they think about it.

so i am 27 i have a sister 25. we both study architecture.

we went to the same primary school, the same junior high , different high schools but she started studying architecture after me.

things changed in our lifes and actually we both moved back to our parents house because of economical issues.

the problem is that i am older and i had had my own vision of my career. i was very flexible when it comes to architectur workshops, i was always eager to move and meet people. she was more introvert type.

i was always everywhere 1st because i was the only one to enroll on some additional courses and so one.

she was always after me.

parents saw that and even though i am an adult i started comparing her to my.

she was always after me.

things changed on master degree because ihad a gap year - i did a lot of things, made new friendships and so one.

so we ended up on the same class on master degree. for me it was horrible.

even though we like each other but i couldnt stand the same person in my house and in my faculty.

sometimes i thought i was just jealous and selfish but i always thought that we should do different things and have maybe different friends.

friends compare us. its usually like she iis invited by me to my new friends . they like her and they become her friends. she never makes a move to meet new people.

its always me who meets people and make a first move.

she was always after me when it comes to people as well.

like a shadow. i have nothing againts but i have never met her new friends. she doesnt see a problem.

but for example she has friends not from the profession. i usually make friends and contacts from profession and when there is a party and she comes by whith other people. my friends( knowing that she is my sister) likes her and keep inviting her after .

and its always me who do 1st step. like a man in a relationship. its always been like that.



i told about it to my mum 2 years ago and she told me she knows what i am talking about but she doesnt know what to do because she loves both of us.



do you think it is a problem?

she always goes after me.

she doesnt see a problem. i see that.

what do you think?

i really need an advice because maybe i am a bad sister. a bad sigling who is very selfish.

thank you

She looks up to her big sister? Have you talked about this to her, i know it's too late to change her course now, but at least make an attempt to figure this out?

i have no idea because sometimes i feel jealous because i make 1st moves and i am always the first with failures and she was always 'perfect' because everything in front of her was done by me.

i dont know. if i should be mad. she never introduces me to her new friends. she sticks with 1 groupd from high school which is ok. but usually tells me they are boring and then parties with people that i met.

and then goes back and is silent.

when wewere younger i was her idol because i was older and so one but for example my best friends ( two of them) instead of inviting only me started inviting her as well because they know her and think its ok.

there are nuances that i can add here but it would be very long.

Posted by Mr_Pinchy
She looks up to her big sister? Have you talked about this to her, i know it's too late to change her course now, but at least make an attempt to figure this out?

yes she doesnt see a problem and says she is only friendly and open to new people.

and she does her thing.

but whenever comes to university or work its like she always asks me. because i should KNOW.

I dont know. about the exam ,about the timetable about the professor.

i dont know. i am different but we sticked closely 2 years ago when studied master and i saw that people think we are THE SAME. but we are not.



for example she doesnt care what her impression if in front of people. for example when i tell her there is my crush and we talk, she comes by , sometimes interrupt. or even when i introduce her to my friend circle with a crush she sometimes plays stupid or i dont know and i feel so weird and so bad!!!

and it makes her more chilled and relaxed.

shedoesnt care about the future. about the job. like she would be 'stupid'.

friends know she is relaxed and i am stressed and worried. why? because i always think about the bills, money, work, projects and she always relies on me...

and if not. she still asks parents for money or for advice in EVERYTHING. like sheis not learn taught or so...

Posted by joanne_p
and it makes her more chilled and relaxed.

shedoesnt care about the future. about the job. like she would be 'stupid'.

friends know she is relaxed and i am stressed and worried. why? because i always think about the bills, money, work, projects and she always relies on me...

and if not. she still asks parents for money or for advice in EVERYTHING. like sheis not learn taught or so...

idk, but i feel this is a lot more complex story than a few paragraphs, from semi bad parenting, to your mistakes in letting her mimic you so long to her ineptitude to find her own way.

But it is what it is now and if you see potential in her to work with you, i'd say maintain family cohesion by not alienating her. Some trademarked cap moon tough love might not harm.

If there is no such potential you can do w/e you want but end of the day, family is family.

Posted by joanne_p
and it makes her more chilled and relaxed.

shedoesnt care about the future. about the job. like she would be 'stupid'.

friends know she is relaxed and i am stressed and worried. why? because i always think about the bills, money, work, projects and she always relies on me...

and if not. she still asks parents for money or for advice in EVERYTHING. like sheis not learn taught or so...

she doesn't know how to get money for herself, and doesn't know how to do anything without looking up to you.

she's still your family, like mr. pinchy says.

she probably doesn't know what her talents are, but she sees yours and thinks, "oh i'm her sister so we should be the same and i should also be ambitious like her, and we have everything the same."

she lacks individuality and confidence in herself.

maybe you need to go outside yourself and be mroe compassionate to your sister and also since she is family you already know what types of "talents" she has.

maybe encourage her where she is GOOD at. instead of putting her down and saying that she is following you. Like, tell her, do you think this is what you really want? What are your dreams and aspirations? what do you really really want in your heart and soul.

because at the end of the day too, everyone has a heart and soul and what their deepest desires are...

what are their passions.

you already stated YOURS. give some love and kindness and understand where hers lie and help her out.

Her sign?

Were both aries im 21.03 and shes 11.04

This would annoy me, it sounds like she is trying to one up in a way. "You can do this, I can do it better"

Ive seen this type of personality before and my god! I suppose as always, the only way would be to talk to her about it, but tbh I don't even know if that would change things maybe? Or ask her why she is doing it? If that fails move country! (and don't say where your going) LOL!

Posted by joanne_p
Were both aries im 21.03 and shes 11.04

Haha! Had to have known that! That competitive streak. Defo having to be the best I think.

Posted by joanne_p
Were both aries im 21.03 and shes 11.04

Makes sense now, had to be another Aries, I have an Aries brother (also 3rd decan) younger 2 years, and my Aries cousin (younger 4 years), always competing with what I had. And his brother, a sag of my age, trying to take what I had instead.

Well your sister is 3rd decan Aries, Aries + Sag, Aries+Sag can be "pirates" sometimes, she really stealing from you. You are genuine 1st decan and suffering from it.

Tell more of your placements and hers, also with rising and MC, to see where you can go with her.

actually shes always been more mature than me.

she was always thoughtful and more calm.

i have always been the party girl, open more talkative, but always perfectionist good at school. very fast and now i am calming down because of th eage i think. but she changes.

me: 21.03.1990 sun in aries, moon in cap, asc in leo, mc in aries, mars and venus in aquarius

her: 11.04.1992 sun in aries, moon in leo, asc in leo, mc in aries, mars in pisces venus in aries

but she was always introverted having long relationships. and more calm than me. more mature? i dont know. her friends have always been more slow than my friends. her friends have always been more thoughtful or lazy idk. like ;beta not alpha

Lol you even have same mc in aries, wich means same vocation.

Posted by tiziani
Then figure out how to work these rooms together as a team.

You're the point man who walks in the room first, makes the intros. She locks them down long term.

Maybe when you were younger, competing against each other brought you this far but to go even further now, you probably have to put the sibling rivalry aside work together and compete against the outside world instead.

THIS.

Family busines $ .

Posted by VenusianCartel
I ate my twin brother in the womb

All non twins are actually the evil twin that ate the twin in the womb it's why the human race is so evil.

Posted by joanne_p
i have no idea because sometimes i feel jealous because i make 1st moves and i am always the first with failures and she was always 'perfect' because everything in front of her was done by me.

i dont know. if i should be mad. she never introduces me to her new friends. she sticks with 1 groupd from high school which is ok. but usually tells me they are boring and then parties with people that i met.

and then goes back and is silent.

when wewere younger i was her idol because i was older and so one but for example my best friends ( two of them) instead of inviting only me started inviting her as well because they know her and think its ok.

there are nuances that i can add here but it would be very long.

Whatever you do...do it only with love.

Find identical twins for you both to marry. Then you can all buy a duplex and share walls.

Posted by joanne_p
i have no idea because sometimes i feel jealous because i make 1st moves and i am always the first with failures and she was always 'perfect' because everything in front of her was done by me.

i dont know. if i should be mad. she never introduces me to her new friends. she sticks with 1 groupd from high school which is ok. but usually tells me they are boring and then parties with people that i met.

and then goes back and is silent.

when wewere younger i was her idol because i was older and so one but for example my best friends ( two of them) instead of inviting only me started inviting her as well because they know her and think its ok.

there are nuances that i can add here but it would be very long.

What's wrong with that? You should be happy your sister is being included by your friends...

Seems like to me she was put in your life so that you have to address your jealousy and insecurity issues head on. Just remember that friends come and go but blood is blood.

Posted by joanne_p
actually shes always been more mature than me.

she was always thoughtful and more calm.

i have always been the party girl, open more talkative, but always perfectionist good at school. very fast and now i am calming down because of th eage i think. but she changes.

me: 21.03.1990 sun in aries, moon in cap, asc in leo, mc in aries, mars and venus in aquarius

her: 11.04.1992 sun in aries, moon in leo, asc in leo, mc in aries, mars in pisces venus in aries

but she was always introverted having long relationships. and more calm than me. more mature? i dont know. her friends have always been more slow than my friends. her friends have always been more thoughtful or lazy idk. like ;beta not alpha

she followed in your footsteps and now you are both back at the parents house just like you are still a young family - that is the mode behind the feelings you are experiencing as well as the Cap Moon that is taking all this in and wants independence - to establish your own rather than have a shadow or bounce off another

you mention you always go first but yet mention that she is good and then you think it is perhaps because you led the way and some of that is true for sure but in some ways she is better at some things - not really "better than you" just different.

Your Cap Moon wants to do it all by herself with no interference and reap the rewards of doing such. It's a drive for this moon. This is a tough one to solve. Either move out and separate and become totally independent or this might grow into a much larger problem

Posted by Impulsv
Nooo my sister is close n she followedin my footsteps. In fact she has excelled probably because I did it first then failed and she learned from me. But why would I be jealous I'm actually proud of her and happy for her.

And yes u will always make the first step n she'll learn from them and make it better for herself. I never minded

yeah i dont mind if my sisters followed my footsteps.

i agree with this.

but in all honesty they went their own way. lol

none of them are like me they are opposite. but we have some similarities.

i mean like, sisters are so different.



I had a LOOONNNNG talk with this with my mother in law and also my mother.

i said to them, how come you all are so diferent from your sisters?

I'll give an example. My mother in law is independent, (she's single for a long time she never found a good man a 2nd time sadly) but deep down she has said to us she would have liked to have found one, but she's too independent. She doensn't like her independence encroached.

but her sister Leo sun/Scorpio moon is sooo opposite from her. Her leo sister married a farmer over 40 years they had a big anniversary party too!! every 5 years there's a party celebrating anniversary.

and they are religious, the couple,

they dont save money very well, but their retirement money is enough for them because they are not the type of people that looks for "money"

their religion makes them to be accepting of hard work and what they have.

and look at my mother in law soooo different.

and also the woman that my mother in law was replaced with..

they are different from night and day. but they both have similar placements in personal planets.

we are just soooo different in what we choose.



and i think personally in your case, she admires you and wants to copy you. 🙂