Cancer man & Taurus woman

Hello,

I am here for an advise. I am a 26 year old Taurus lady who met a wonderful down to earth 28 year old Cancer sign man at work. We became good friends in the start and he was seeing someone at that time. But she broke his heart around January this year. He was in pain but we were still going good friends.

He asked me to spend Valentine's Day with him which made me to realize that he likes me. 🙂 he wanted to spend all day with me and all we did was watch a movie, talk and have dinner, we even cooked a meal for us. It was quite nice but no love or physical thing happened between us that day.

I went for 1 month trip in March to Italy and he came to bid adieu to me at the airport but still as a friend who like me. While we were away from each other we both realized how much we have love growing for each other and he said he wants nothing but me to be back asap. I also realized that I love him very much. But we did not say I LOVE YOU or anything like that, that time.

When I came back in April, he started doing random pampering things for me like bring me pizza, asking me to go for an event, going to mountains for a hike, cooking food together, he taught me driving too. But still no I LOVE YOU from anyone of us and nothing except those tight hugs multiple times a day.

May 8, Sunday was my birthday and he came over in the morning to spend all time with me. He came with flowers and chocolates to my apartment and we went for a drive, lunch and sitting in the park before kicking off the party in the evening.

In the evening, he was lying on the couch and I was sitting next to him just talking about who all are gonna come to the party. As I was born in the evening, I thought to pray to God to give we a wonderful new year and he also started praying with me. And while praying I kissed his cheeks. He asked me to do it one more time and I kissed his cheeks two times more. But by that time my room mate came in and he sat next to me holding my hand.

We went to a club for dancing as loud music is not allowed after 11 in my apartment building. Me, him, my room mate and some 3-4 friends. He was letting me take sips from his drinks and was still holding my hand in front of all of us. We thought of dancing soon and as soon as I went on the floor, a drunk stranger grabbed me from the back and started caressing me. Well my Cancer man got angry and punched him right away and kissed me on my lips the same time 🙂 He said he is sorry for being so much angry and hugged me tight and asked us to leave.

We took Uber and I was sitting on his lap. He was holding me very tight and asking me all the way if I am feeling better and saying sorry for what happened 😢

So we are now at my friend's house and having music and light dancing. Ofcourse we both were dancing together and high on drinks. He was little high on weed too, but not me. We danced till 3 am and then all decided to Just go to bed.

Continued in the following comment..

My friend asked me to go and sleep in the room where he is sleeping . So now we are in the same room and everyone else is sleeping except us. We were talking about how the day went and what happened at the club but I suddenly hugged him and said I LOVE YOU to him. He kissed me on my neck , lips and we cuddled but did not say I LOVE YOU back, instead said we cannot be in a relationship as he thinks dating sucks and he said he does not want to lose me at any cost. In the past he had 3 bad relationships and girls left him heart broken, but this time he cannot risk it at any cost.

Nevertheless, we both cried and slept while hugging tight. He kissed me and gave me a love byte too. In the morning, he woke up and made breakfast for me. And said I LOVE YOU to me and that he doesnot think that he wants to be in a relationship.

Since then I am pretty much stuck and he asked me to stay away from some time and come back as just friend 😢 he has said I love you to me 4-5 times but he is very insecure about fate if we went into a relationship. I love that beautiful man but I don't know how to react here.

Please help me in figuring out what to do here.

Now he behaves all weird. He said we should only be friends but I love you a lot. He asked me to move on and find a better fit who can be in a relationship with me. He is trying everything possible for me to stay away from him but temporarily and asks me to be his friend again like before. But side by side says I love you to me regularly. He says he is not at all looking for dating or relationship and hence he is worthless. He has developed a strong fear that he is not worth any girl because all 3 girls left him in the past. He is saying he is not good enough for any girl.

I just don't know what is happening and what to do here 😢

@TaurusDaisy,

From a Taurus perspective, I can understand your attaction to this man. His words and actions were aligned with the way he felt about you, so you're baffled about his hesitation to go forward with you. He was consistent, and appeared non-threatening to you. You felt safe with him.

You're a realist, please do not try to psycho-analyze what he is telling you, and just believe what he is telling you. Emotionally he's not ready. He has way too much negative baggage. Respect his space and give him time to heal from his previous relationships. Clearly he hasn't healed from any of them. If he listed 3 'salty' past exes, clearly he was just diving in on emotions alone.

In my opinion, I think he needs to be by himself for awhile.

Don't take it personally.

Good Luck to you.

So should I let him go? Its so much painful that even when two hearts love each other, they just can't be together 😢 I was not one of those 3 women but then why is he doing this with me? I am going through this pain since last 3 months and it is truly hurtful and painful to let go of someone who loves me. I am just so much stressed these days. Nothing is making any sense to me without that man right next to me. Now when I text him, he just plain ignores. He does not want to take my calls. Just says one thing that he is doing it for the best. Its killing me inside.

This is not about you. It's about him. Put your emotions on the side for a minute. Try to see this from a practical, realistic perspective. Diving into a relationship with you will be another premature mistake. A pattern that has always got him burned. The wounds obviously were never closed because he never gave himself that opportunity.

My guess, you felt that you had enough love to close that wound that his past exes inflicted on him.

Sorry to disappoint you, but that feeling has to go away on its own.

This requires time alone and self-reflection.

Let him have that space.

Find ways to occupy your time.

OP I hope you find peace.