Cancer Man wants me to be patient and wait (Page 2)

Hey how did the talk go?

If Cancer man just suddenly gets cool on you…. He going through financial problems and might feel like he can’t find the the relationship as he did.

I’m telling you… It’s because he’s going broke or is trying not to fall on hard times. Ahahahaa!!!

Posted by SagLib

Posted by Disneygirl
how are things with this guy now?

Things are alright. He is "back to normal" and has been in a really good mood lately. He is calling and texting, and updating me on his travels.

He is still waiting to "talk in person". I am still hesitant to open up fully to him, my trust issues have been elevated from what he did. I expressed that to him, and he says he understands.

So we are meeting up mid-October; around the 10th.

Thanks for following up....

click to expand

From reading your post. It sounds to me like does feel he can give you enough of what you need from him. He takes that to heart. That makes him question himself.

Honestly that's a good thing. He just learned putting that much distance and so low a level of contact isn't good for you or the relationship.

Love, you are feeling insecure because of past stuff or that kind of no to low contact doesn't work for you and you fought yourself over it causing insecurities.

This is where knowing and understanding yourself comes into play.

You can go straight to the source of the issue without your mind rationalizing possible issues.

That's what you did here. Put yourself in a mental spiral fighting yourself.

Take this time to layout to yourself ( NOT WHAT HAPPENED) but what you need in the relationship to feel confident connected and happy.

Communicate what's important to you to him🙂

Then work out how you guys can do it and vis bersa

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.

So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,

The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

Lol a man that can communicate his emotions with a woman properly, is a keeper.

Unless he learned that growing up, he learned that in other relationships sometimes the hard way through lose. Meaning it requires experience.

Basically, We teach each other about ourselves and relationships with others by doing them together or previous relationships. Experience.

And That's a good core value to have, communication is everything.

You sound cut throat about it tho.

Just understand, a man that can already do that while still being single & available AND for you to come across yourself is going to become increasingly rare on the market.

Lol a already baked cake.

Keep in mind we teach each other about ourselves in relationships. Got to give new partners the opportunity to adjust and incorporate.

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.

So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,

The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

Lol a man that can communicate his emotions with a woman properly, is a keeper.

Unless he learned that growing up, he learned that in other relationships sometimes the hard way through lose. Meaning it requires experience.

Basically, We teach each other about ourselves and relationships with others by doing them together or previous relationships. Experience.



And That's a good core value to have, communication is everything.

You sound cut throat about it tho.

Just understand, a man that can already do that while still being single & available AND for you to come across yourself is going to become increasingly rare on the market.

Lol a already baked cake.

Keep in mind we teach each other about ourselves in relationships. Got to give new partners the opportunity to adjust and incorporate.

I am cut throat about it only because I lived it many times, when I gave men space and time to adjust but simply they got too distant and moved on with their lives, I learned the hard way that men won't actually communicate what they feel but rather if they want to be with you they'll make it possible, they'll say it and they'll do it.
If they're hesitant they're hesitant they'll take their time to decide without being with you, and they'll move on without telling you even (ghosting) they're either afraid of hurting your feelings or they just want to keep you around for a fuck when they need it.
But again that's just my experience.
Edit: just realized this is an old thread lol

click to expand

Lol me too. Necroing has it's uses.

Not sure on my wording here bare with me.

Sounds like you were looking for something serious in the past and ended up with people who were not?

Or maybe didn't realize you wanted serious but were still playing in the kids sand box, so to speak?

How has been the transition for you since then?

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.

So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,

The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

Lol a man that can communicate his emotions with a woman properly, is a keeper.



Unless he learned that growing up, he learned that in other relationships sometimes the hard way through lose. Meaning it requires experience.



Basically, We teach each other about ourselves and relationships with others by doing them together or previous relationships. Experience.







And That's a good core value to have, communication is everything.



You sound cut throat about it tho.



Just understand, a man that can already do that while still being single & available AND for you to come across yourself is going to become increasingly rare on the market.



Lol a already baked cake.



Keep in mind we teach each other about ourselves in relationships. Got to give new partners the opportunity to adjust and incorporate.

I am cut throat about it only because I lived it many times, when I gave men space and time to adjust but simply they got too distant and moved on with their lives, I learned the hard way that men won't actually communicate what they feel but rather if they want to be with you they'll make it possible, they'll say it and they'll do it.


If they're hesitant they're hesitant they'll take their time to decide without being with you, and they'll move on without telling you even (ghosting) they're either afraid of hurting your feelings or they just want to keep you around for a fuck when they need it.


But again that's just my experience.


Edit: just realized this is an old thread lol

Lol me too. Necroing has it's uses.

Not sure on my wording here bare with me.

Sounds like you were looking for something serious in the past and ended up with people who were not?

Or maybe didn't realize you wanted serious but were still playing in the kids sand box, so to speak?

How has been the transition for you since then?

How has been the transition for you since then?
I'm single, still 😅
I have no patience whatsoever now, I'll end things in a heart beat if I feel the slightest disinterest in a man, I have no time to waste anymore.
I was in sort of long distance relation with a cancer man, we were supposed to meet but he forgot my birthday so I blocked him, I know it's extreme but I just can't deal with this anymore,
Men are bad at remembering dates? with all the technology we have I don't think so.
I honestly don't know how to go back to trusting again.

click to expand

Let me see if I understand this.

If you don't have his full attention all the time your done?

If he isn't completely devoted to you or cators to your every whim?

This can't be right.



Honestly the trust issues to the extent you describe is real problem. It doesn't allow a relationship to grow.

The image of what you want from a partner takes time to build up to. It's mid to late stages. After the dust settles and honeymoon stage is over, and they still want each other after working out issues they have found with the relationship. That requires trust to get to. Trust that's earned.

You got to allow yourself to let people earn your trust, without a Axe at the ready lol

No one wants that kind of constant pressure and looming threat if they take a mis step. Lol that's nearly impossible.

I'm speaking from experience here. No matter what I did it was never enough. Lol It's nearly traumatising in it own right. Not to mention insulting. No one wants to live that way.

Go back with yourself to the why of what happened that caused you to feel this way.

Where the pain came from.

Understanding the pain and the circumstances of it. Really explore that about yourself. Others have had similar experiences and the pain you have. Tho Not all of them choose to be this way.

Think on why YOU CHOOSE to be this hard on yourself about it.

Posted by Disneygirl
Hey how did the talk go?

My grandfather passed away so we did not meet up as planned. He is actually coming next week. He is flying in from his business trip to see me, just for two days. I was infuriated at first that it was only two days, but I am considering that he is taking time out of his busy schedule to come and see me. It's a 26 hour flight in each direction. I look forward to seeing him - I AM STILL IN SUSPENSE. But I have a little idea what it may be... sadly I think it's work/money related - which I don't understand

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.

So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,

The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

He has communication issues and he has acknowledge that. It's like he is not confident in what he wants to say or something. But his communication needs work!

I also have been ghosted in the past - my last relationship he ghosted me to go and marry someone else. It was devastating, so I can understand the frustration - I need communication!

Posted by Emhendo
If Cancer man just suddenly gets cool on you…. He going through financial problems and might feel like he can’t find the the relationship as he did.

I’m telling you… It’s because he’s going broke or is trying not to fall on hard times. Ahahahaa!!!

Honestly I wish this was not a possibility... but this may be the reason! I have never met anyone who is this wrapped up in businesses.

He is definitely fighting hard not to fall on hard times. But I think this is extreme. I don't understand it.

I probably don't understand it because I don't need much. I work, make my money, save a little and spend alot. Hahahahahaha. Cycle repeat!

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by SagLib

Posted by Disneygirl
how are things with this guy now?

Things are alright. He is "back to normal" and has been in a really good mood lately. He is calling and texting, and updating me on his travels.
He is still waiting to "talk in person". I am still hesitant to open up fully to him, my trust issues have been elevated from what he did. I expressed that to him, and he says he understands.
So we are meeting up mid-October; around the 10th.
Thanks for following up....
click to expand

From reading your post. It sounds to me like does feel he can give you enough of what you need from him. He takes that to heart. That makes him question himself.

Honestly that's a good thing. He just learned putting that much distance and so low a level of contact isn't good for you or the relationship.

Love, you are feeling insecure because of past stuff or that kind of no to low contact doesn't work for you and you fought yourself over it causing insecurities.

This is where knowing and understanding yourself comes into play.

You can go straight to the source of the issue without your mind rationalizing possible issues.

That's what you did here. Put yourself in a mental spiral fighting yourself.

Take this time to layout to yourself ( NOT WHAT HAPPENED) but what you need in the relationship to feel confident connected and happy.

Communicate what's important to you to him🙂

Then work out how you guys can do it and vis bersa

click to expand

OH thanks! This is beautifully said! And you are correct... I need to use this time as self reflection. I am also seeing him clearer. He was even beating himself up for not being able to be there for my when my grandfather passed - he was also having a hard time communicating this feeling.

I want to work on not putting myself through that "mental spiral" it's such a horrible feeling. I can't get anything done and I become real miserable.

Thanks for this message! Really appreciate it.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.
So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,
The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

Lol a man that can communicate his emotions with a woman properly, is a keeper.

Unless he learned that growing up, he learned that in other relationships sometimes the hard way through lose. Meaning it requires experience.

Basically, We teach each other about ourselves and relationships with others by doing them together or previous relationships. Experience.

And That's a good core value to have, communication is everything.

You sound cut throat about it tho.

Just understand, a man that can already do that while still being single & available AND for you to come across yourself is going to become increasingly rare on the market.

Lol a already baked cake.

Keep in mind we teach each other about ourselves in relationships. Got to give new partners the opportunity to adjust and incorporate.

click to expand

Appreciated!

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.
So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,
The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

Lol a man that can communicate his emotions with a woman properly, is a keeper.



Unless he learned that growing up, he learned that in other relationships sometimes the hard way through lose. Meaning it requires experience.



Basically, We teach each other about ourselves and relationships with others by doing them together or previous relationships. Experience.







And That's a good core value to have, communication is everything.



You sound cut throat about it tho.



Just understand, a man that can already do that while still being single & available AND for you to come across yourself is going to become increasingly rare on the market.



Lol a already baked cake.



Keep in mind we teach each other about ourselves in relationships. Got to give new partners the opportunity to adjust and incorporate.

I am cut throat about it only because I lived it many times, when I gave men space and time to adjust but simply they got too distant and moved on with their lives, I learned the hard way that men won't actually communicate what they feel but rather if they want to be with you they'll make it possible, they'll say it and they'll do it.



If they're hesitant they're hesitant they'll take their time to decide without being with you, and they'll move on without telling you even (ghosting) they're either afraid of hurting your feelings or they just want to keep you around for a fuck when they need it.



But again that's just my experience.



Edit: just realized this is an old thread lol

Lol me too. Necroing has it's uses.


Not sure on my wording here bare with me.


Sounds like you were looking for something serious in the past and ended up with people who were not?


Or maybe didn't realize you wanted serious but were still playing in the kids sand box, so to speak?


How has been the transition for you since then?

How has been the transition for you since then?


I'm single, still 😅


I have no patience whatsoever now, I'll end things in a heart beat if I feel the slightest disinterest in a man, I have no time to waste anymore.


I was in sort of long distance relation with a cancer man, we were supposed to meet but he forgot my birthday so I blocked him, I know it's extreme but I just can't deal with this anymore,


Men are bad at remembering dates? with all the technology we have I don't think so.


I honestly don't know how to go back to trusting again.

Let me see if I understand this.

If you don't have his full attention all the time your done?

If he isn't completely devoted to you or cators to your every whim?

This can't be right.



Honestly the trust issues to the extent you describe is real problem. It doesn't allow a relationship to grow.

The image of what you want from a partner takes time to build up to. It's mid to late stages. After the dust settles and honeymoon stage is over, and they still want each other after working out issues they have found with the relationship. That requires trust to get to. Trust that's earned.

You got to allow yourself to let people earn your trust, without a Axe at the ready lol

No one wants that kind of constant pressure and looming threat if they take a mis step. Lol that's nearly impossible.

I'm speaking from experience here. No matter what I did it was never enough. Lol It's nearly traumatising in it own right. Not to mention insulting. No one wants to live that way.

Go back with yourself to the why of what happened that caused you to feel this way.

Where the pain came from.

Understanding the pain and the circumstances of it. Really explore that about yourself. Others have had similar experiences and the pain you have. Tho Not all of them choose to be this way.

Think on why YOU CHOOSE to be this hard on yourself about it.







click to expand

If you don't have his full attention all the time your done?

If he isn't completely devoted to you or cators to your every whim?

Not really, but I expect certain things, things I have completely turned a blind eye on before, mind you I didn't want to be in any kind of relationship with this guy but he was persistent so I said why not!

I have to admit I'm neurotic but only when provoked, for example when I told the cancer it was my birthday (which was late afternoon of that day) instead of just admitting to forgetting that, he said and I quote "yeah I know, I was going to wish you a happy birthday" ok, why taking all that long then? I just assumed he was lying.

So why lie?

Afraid of my reaction?

But it's insulting to assume that I'll be stupid enough to believe their lies, that what triggers me the most honestly.

click to expand

Oh this is a bit extreme. 🙂

I used to be like this when I was younger, it was a way for me to avoid disappointment and further trauma.

But after a lot of growth (still growing) I learned to use discernment to let "better" people in, so I can feel safe enough to experience a relationship with them.

Work on yourself, be kind to yourself - so you can be kind to others.

Posted by LaGenereuze

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LaGenereuze
Maybe he doesn't want to meet your family and friends as planned and trying to get out of that, I'd give him an ultimatum if he doesn't communicate what's bothering him than it's over.
So done with men becoming distant only to ghost you eventually,
The point of being in a relationship is to communicate with your partner, if he can't do that he should stay single.

Lol a man that can communicate his emotions with a woman properly, is a keeper.

Unless he learned that growing up, he learned that in other relationships sometimes the hard way through lose. Meaning it requires experience.

Basically, We teach each other about ourselves and relationships with others by doing them together or previous relationships. Experience.

And That's a good core value to have, communication is everything.

You sound cut throat about it tho.

Just understand, a man that can already do that while still being single & available AND for you to come across yourself is going to become increasingly rare on the market.

Lol a already baked cake.

Keep in mind we teach each other about ourselves in relationships. Got to give new partners the opportunity to adjust and incorporate.



click to expand

I am cut throat about it only because I lived it many times, when I gave men space and time to adjust but simply they got too distant and moved on with their lives, I learned the hard way that men won't actually communicate what they feel but rather if they want to be with you they'll make it possible, they'll say it and they'll do it.

If they're hesitant they're hesitant they'll take their time to decide without being with you, and they'll move on without telling you even (ghosting) they're either afraid of hurting your feelings or they just want to keep you around for a fuck when they need it.

But again that's just my experience.

Edit: just realized this is an old thread lol

click to expand

It may be an old thread but it’s the same issue over and over again

Posted by SagLib

Posted by Disneygirl
Hey how did the talk go?

My grandfather passed away so we did not meet up as planned. He is actually coming next week. He is flying in from his business trip to see me, just for two days. I was infuriated at first that it was only two days, but I am considering that he is taking time out of his busy schedule to come and see me. It's a 26 hour flight in each direction. I look forward to seeing him - I AM STILL IN SUSPENSE. But I have a little idea what it may be... sadly I think it's work/money related - which I don't understand

click to expand

Wait a minute. He is a 26 hour flight away romantic interest??!!??!!??!!

Girl why

Posted by DMV

Posted by SagLib

Posted by Disneygirl
Hey how did the talk go?

My grandfather passed away so we did not meet up as planned. He is actually coming next week. He is flying in from his business trip to see me, just for two days. I was infuriated at first that it was only two days, but I am considering that he is taking time out of his busy schedule to come and see me. It's a 26 hour flight in each direction. I look forward to seeing him - I AM STILL IN SUSPENSE. But I have a little idea what it may be... sadly I think it's work/money related - which I don't understand
click to expand

Wait a minute. He is a 26 hour flight away romantic interest??!!??!!??!!

Girl why

click to expand

He is away for work. It's not a permanent arrangement. However work keeps him away for a bit, and I travel to go see him wherever he is when I can. Unfortunately my present life and work situation is not permitting me to travel at the moment.

Cancer men love independent confident people.The kind who cut them off and have their own shit to do cos that’s their energy- go get it.

You sound very Scorpio which in beginning stages will work but generally bombs cos the neediness repulses Cancer.

Posted by AntiAnti2023
Cancer men love independent confident people.The kind who cut them off and have their own shit to do cos that’s their energy- go get it.

You sound very Scorpio which in beginning stages will work but generally bombs cos the neediness repulses Cancer.

With Scorpio and cancer, they both have naturally high emotional sensitivity. Things get amplified.

Neediness from insecurity is the bomb and repulsion you are talking about.

Energy wise they do great together, when they are good with themselves and each other.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by AntiAnti2023
Cancer men love independent confident people.The kind who cut them off and have their own shit to do cos that’s their energy- go get it.

You sound very Scorpio which in beginning stages will work but generally bombs cos the neediness repulses Cancer.

With Scorpio and cancer, they both have naturally high emotional sensitivity. Things get amplified.

Neediness from insecurity is the bomb and repulsion you are talking about.
Energy wise they do great together, when they are good with themselves and each other.

click to expand

But Scorpio are rarely ever good with themselves and need a to be dragged to See their worth.